First point, this RP takes place 100 years after the battle, guilds don't exist in that time period, meaning he could never have paid a visit to the remnants of Fairy Tail. The second thing comes directly from your sheet.

_{<Snipped quote by yoshua171>}

This is literally impossible to do in this RPs timeline.

I did read the OP and I now see your point.

Hmmm....

Traveling to Magnolia is possible or I imagine it'd not be mentioned in the "settlements" hider. Studying his tome is possible. I see your point about the remnants thing though. That's a very easily changed portion of the CS and doesn't influence anything in regards to how he ends up as a person.

I just figured "Well Fairy Tail was instrumental in saving everyone else (that wasn't involved in the battle) from Zeref and the Slayers' rule/destruction. I'd figure that there was some kind of memorial to honor that even if magic is hated because of the destruction and death it wrought" However, apparently I was wrong, and for that I apologize. I'll put it on my list of things to edit :)

Thank you for catching that by the way. I didn't think of that.

I mainly meant the Remnants thing, the rest is good though. Guess I should have narrowed my quote down a little bit in hind sight.

I mainly meant the Remnants thing, the rest is good though. Guess I should have narrowed my quote down a little bit in hind sight.

No worries. I added an "edit list," to the post with Dornae's CS. It shows how I change whatever ends up being problematic in his CS :)

*picks up and cuddles the @Silver Fox* I made a post~

Oh man. Some of the songs from Bomberman Hero are great.

<Snipped quote by Zarkun>
I did read the OP and I now see your point.

Hmmm....

Traveling to Magnolia is possible or I imagine it'd not be mentioned in the "settlements" hider. Studying his tome is possible. I see your point about the remnants thing though. That's a very easily changed portion of the CS and doesn't influence anything in regards to how he ends up as a person.

I just figured "Well Fairy Tail was instrumental in saving everyone else (that wasn't involved in the battle) from Zeref and the Slayers' rule/destruction. I'd figure that there was some kind of memorial to honor that even if magic is hated because of the destruction and death it wrought" However, apparently I was wrong, and for that I apologize. I'll put it on my list of things to edit :)

Thank you for catching that by the way. I didn't think of that.

Wow, I think your character and Ferrin will have a lot to talk about. :D

On a similar subject, Ferrin visited magnolia and where the guild hall was, so yours can too.

Anyways, I like your CS. if I had the paicence I would sit down and compile a complicated magic like you did. kudos for that!

Edit: [@GMs] On that subject, I am thinking about adding and expanding my character sheets. Nothing major, just giving more explanation on their magic, personality, and other stuff. On top of that I have a great idea for another character, but she will have to wait until I properly introduced the three I have.

Everyone keeps saying Melina warned them about Iron Enigma...

But I don't actually remember her doing that.

I'm fairly certain she did...but that's a lot of pages to go through.

_{<Snipped quote by yoshua171>}
Wow, I think your character and Ferrin will have a lot to talk about. :D

On a similar subject, Ferrin visited magnolia and where the guild hall was, so yours can too.

Anyways, I like your CS. if I had the paicence I would sit down and compile a complicated magic like you did. kudos for that!

Edit: [@GMs] On that subject, I am thinking about adding and expanding my character sheets. Nothing major, just giving more explanation on their magic, personality, and other stuff. On top of that I have a great idea for another character, but she will have to wait until I properly introduced the three I have.

*Bounces happily since his CS was both read and appreciated*
I'm glad you liked it, took me like 3-4 days to get it pulled together >_>
Definitely worth the effort though! :)

Thank you in regards to the magic compliment by the way, I did put some thought into it. It arose from some really simple concepts though. Namely the following.

>Make it a form of Enchanting.
>Have it center around runes and sound.
>Include "Catalyst," magic as a derivative to make it useful in combat...and also give it some additional flavor.

I worked from those points and took some inspiration from a few other magic systems I've seen. It helps that I've made magic systems before, and also have the tendency of trying to figure out how they work when they are present in RPs that I join. Easier to use them creatively if you understand them after all ^_^

Anywho, moving on.

---

*Reads Ferrin's CS*
Is Ferrin also currently without a Guild? Or have you just not updated the CS? If he is in a Guild, then what Guild (aside from his former Guild due to the stasis)?

If he is without a Guild it'd be interesting to have them meet. Regardless they could probably encounter one another at some point. Where is he currently located and what is he doing? That is, of course, if you don't mind my asking :P

I'm fairly certain she did...but that's a lot of pages to go through.

I mean, Mithera did have a panic attack thinking that they would kidnap her, but I don't remember Melina having warned them...

But, it could've happened.
_{I'll find out when I go back to read the whole IC to make an anime out of it if I ever become rich}

No one can read that real tiny thing you turd.

That's the point.

No one can read that real tiny thing you turd.

That's the point.

Too bad I copy-pasta'd it from your post and into the reply box so I could read it *smirks*

Also @Zarkun, in case my mention of the edit list didn't make this known by extension. I did make the edit that you wanted me to in regards to Fairy Tail. Are you still working on reading the CS, or can I take presume that the below paraphrased quote is an 1/2 acceptances?

I mainly meant...[that]...the rest is good....

<Snipped quote by Zarkun>

I mean, Mithera did have a panic attack thinking that they would kidnap her, but I don't remember Melina having warned them...

But, it could've happened.
_{I'll find out when I go back to read the whole IC to make an anime out of it if I ever become rich}

<Snipped quote by Zarkun>
<Snipped quote by Burthstone>
Too bad I copy-pasta'd it from your post and into the reply box so I could read it *smirks*

Also @Zarkun, in case my mention of the edit list didn't make this known by extension. I did make the edit that you wanted me to in regards to Fairy Tail. Are you still working on reading the CS, or can I take presume that the below paraphrased quote is an 1/2 acceptances?

<Snipped quote by Zarkun>

The 1/2 is correct.

Coolio, thanks!

@yoshua171

I do have some issues. First and foremost is that the magic has some chance of being over powered, which leaves no room for development. To me it doesn't seem like it has any weaknesses and that makes me wary. I mean yeah, sure Jarvis and Jamie could easily take him down as could time lord, but they are meant to be over powered. You can't have an over powered character right from the start.

Secondly, guilds only started coming back 15 years ago in the time line, and all the guilds and remnants of any magic were destroyed after the EVENT a 100 years ago. The people of fiore didn't give a crap that the guilds saved them, all they cared about was the destruction it caused and the horror of magic. Where Fairy tail was, there is nothing and no one even knows where it use to be anymore.

Also, there is no harvest festival. Again, magic has only just started to be trusted again and the commoners would not celebrate a festival put on by magicians even five years ago.

Thirdly, dark guilds didn't really start appearing until...about seven years ago-not saying that they didn't have exist because of course they did, but know one knew of them until then. Well, Jarvis and Jamie did but that's a story for another time.

Fourthly, and finally, magic books were considered dark arts, and as such wouldn't be easy to lay your hands on. I'm not saying impossible to but if he was even seen with the book before...oh, 12 or so years ago, chances are he would have been prosecuted and Imprisoned. The trust of magic again didn't really start until about 10 years ago, which meant about 5 years of doubts, as Phoenix Wing made the first move to become an official guild and accept jobs, and as word of mouth got around that they were exceptional at them. There's more to that story but again, that's for another time.

I think that's it. My only main issue is the magic being over powered so if you fix that up, that would be great! I'll wait to give you your needed approval for this till then

@yoshua171
I do have some issues. First and foremost is that the magic has some chance of being over powered, which leaves no room for development. To me it doesn't seem like it has any weaknesses and that makes me wary. I mean yeah, sure Jarvis and Jamie could easily take him down as could time lord, but they are meant to be over powered. You can't have an over powered character right from the start.

Secondly, guilds only started coming back 15 years ago in the time line, and all the guilds and remnants of any magic were destroyed after the EVENT a 100 years ago. The people of fiore didn't give a crap that the guilds saved them, all they cared about was the destruction it caused and the horror of magic. Where Fairy tail was, there is nothing and no one even knows where it use to be anymore.

Also, there is no harvest festival. Again, magic has only just started to be trusted again and the commoners would not celebrate a festival put on by magicians even five years ago.

Thirdly, dark guilds didn't really start appearing until...about seven years ago-not saying that they didn't exist because of course they did, but know one knew of them until then. Well, Jarvis and Jamie did but that's a story for another time.

Fourthly, and finally, magic books were considered dark arts, and as such wouldn't be easy to lay your hands on. I'm not saying impossible to but if he was even seen with the book before...oh, 12 or so years ago, chances are he would have been prosecuted and Imprisoned. The trust of magic again didn't really start until about 10 years ago, which meant about 5 years of doubts, as Phoenix Wing made the first move to become an official guild and accept jobs, and as word of mouth got around that they were exceptional at them. There's more to that story but again, that's for another time.

I think that's it. My only main issue is the magic being over powered so if you fix that up, that would be great! I'll wait to give you your needed approval for this till then

Hmm. Ironically, the Guild and Dark Guild thing is far more influential to Dornae as a character than his magic is. So I have to address that first. However, I will go into his magic as well.

Questions:

>It seems like you're implying that Dark Guilds existed before they started “showing up”. If that is the case, how long before? If it works with the timeline of Dornae's history I don't have to change him much or at all. Hell, it'd actually fit into the fact that his title/alias is “The Luckless Enchanter,” haha.

>Okay, if all magical literature was destroyed—except, incredibly isolated or concealed literature I imagine—then how are there so many magics from the canon? Why is there any significant body of magical knowledge at all? If it's because it was preserved by some (which is inevitable unless you want to be unrealistic) then I imagine this was through word of mouth and highly secretive training. Is any of this plausible?

---

Things to Note:

>Dornae's grandfather had that Enchanter's dagger (Dornae's heirloom) for a reason. I'm not being facitious. He had it because he himself was an enchanter. Aka, he was a mage. It goes further though. Dornae is magically inclined, and skilled, not by coincidence, but by bloodline. Most members of his Grandfather's side of the family were mages in secret. They were preserving their art, which should be entirely possible unless those who are not magically inclined over the last 100 years had ways not just to detect the use of magic, but to detect when someone had knowledge of magic. This sounds impossible without the use of magic or higher tech that doesn't exist in Earthland.

>Dornae's father procuring an Enchanter's tome could be linked to his father having been an enchanter. While Dervin was not a magic user himself, he would have known this about his father and would have had the knowledge passed down to him so he could teach others if the chance arose. I don't think he got the tome from his father, I think he wrote it himself. He physically compiled the knowledge and had it hidden. He gave it to Dornae for safekeeping because he was getting old and he didn't want the secret to die with him.

>If Dark Guilds did exist before 7 years ago, but operated entirely in secret, then Dornae's stumbling upon them because of the knowledge written in his father's tome is present. Conversely, due to his tendency to want to find problems and remove the root of them, he was probably looking for normal criminal activity, and stumbled upon something worse.

---

I think that concludes my points and questions on that for the moment. At least till I have a respone haha. I do apologize if this is bothering you Caits, I am just trying to understand this as best as possible to adapt and whatnot. Moving on to Enchantment, and more specifically Catalyst Magic.

The first point I'd like to point out, though I'm sure you saw it if you went over the whole CS—which it seems you did (Thank you for that if that is the case)—then you'll have seen the below line.

Note: The faster a Catalyst mage creates their enchantment, the weaker or more unstable it tends to be. However, the more skilled they are, the less this weakness applies.

This is much more relevant than one might think. I can make it more specific if that's helpful. I was actually considering doing so when I wrote it, but I decided not to because my CS was already so long and I didn't know how that would be received.

Apparently it was not a problem though, which makes me happy. So I can add it.

In short, the system I'm going to add rates his spells on a scale. Depending on the scale a spell will take more or less time to prepare. This adds a natural limitation that can start at a certain amount of time, and go down incrementally (though not too much) as he gets stronger/better at using his magic.

The scale works like this:

Scope: How “large” or powerful the effect generally is.
Complexity: How many stages or effects a given spell has.

Scope+Complexity=Spell Prep Time.

---

So yeah, I'll work on that system. An additional thing to note is the fact that an Enchantment more or less cannot alter time or space.

@yoshua171
It still seems over powered to me. But I'll let it go for now. However, if I see something over powered in the Ic, I will have to ask you to alter it. This isn't just for you, it goes for everyone. Except Time Lord. Time Lord is a special case and as the story goes on everyone will see why.

Magical books were hidden and I find it doubtful that anyone would be able to find them. Given that, and I can reveal this without hurting the story, they were hidden by fairy tail mages before they disappeared, those that survived of course. It makes it hard to trace a lineage back to them, and any other guilds. As for how magics exist, well then you have to ask the question-how did the first mages ever learn their magics? Trail and error. Trial. And. Error. And some people had masters who taught them, probably taught by others themselves.

It would also have been very hard to find the dark guilds,even by chance or stumbling into them. They wanted to stay hidden as much as any other Mage and lee their actions unable to be linked to them. Not saying Ha someone might have been able to find them, just that it is a very very very very very very slim chance if you didn't know they existed-so reading about them would not have been enough.

@yoshua171
It still seems over powered to me. But I'll let it go for now. However, if I see something over powered in the Ic, I will have to ask you to alter it. This isn't just for you, it goes for everyone. Except Time Lord. Time Lord is a special case and as the story goes on everyone will see why.

Magical books were hidden and I find it doubtful that anyone would be able to find them. Given that, and I can reveal this without hurting the story, they were hidden by fairy tail mages before they disappeared, those that survived of course. It makes it hard to trace a lineage back to them, and any other guilds. As for how magics exist, well then you have to ask the question-how did the first mages ever learn their magics? Trail and error. Trial. And. Error. And some people had masters who taught them, probably taught by others themselves.

It would also have been very hard to find the dark guilds,even by chance or stumbling into them. They wanted to stay hidden as much as any other Mage and lee their actions unable to be linked to them. Not saying Ha someone might have been able to find them, just that it is a very very very very very very slim chance if you didn't know they existed-so reading about them would not have been enough.

If you think it's OP even after knowing that it has specific limitations and time constraints, then I have to ask this.

What makes you call it OP specifically?

As an additional question on that topic. If I were to do something "OP" ICly it would more than likely be because I didn't see how it was OP, or didn't consider something. Aka, it would be a mistake, not an inherent way the magic is used. As such, I'd prefer if I'm just told "this is OP," and why it is. After which I would apologize and avoid making similar mistakes as that's what it would be, a mistake.

Hmm. So the idea of passed down knowledge is fine. The idea of Dark Guilds existing before the 7 year mark is fine, but him coming into contact with one is still highly unlikely.

Still, a high unlikelihood is not a 0% chance, so someone would have found one. If you have suggestions as to how it could have happened, I'd be grateful to hear them. Otherwise, I'll just say he was unlucky and particularly inquisitive. His inquisitive nature is already a thing, and his bad luck is hinted at, though he may have considerably less bad luck nowadays. Being cautious will do that.

@yoshua171

I don't know. It still just feels over powered to me, but maybe i'm being picky. I will accept it.

Yes, bu a 1 percent chance is close enough to 0 that frankly, I would find it highly lucky if he did find a dark guild. The best analogy I can come up with is that it's like Toy Story-You might be suspect that they can move, but you never catch them at it.

Dedication, and knowledge that they exist would get you far. But again, you'd have to suspect the area's that they are in and know where to go, or what to look for. And unless he as able to provide a reason why they should have let him go, chances are he'd still be in a dark guilds custordy.

Anywho, moving on.

---

*Reads Ferrin's CS*
Is Ferrin also currently without a Guild? Or have you just not updated the CS? If he is in a Guild, then what Guild (aside from his former Guild due to the stasis)?

If he is without a Guild it'd be interesting to have them meet. Regardless they could probably encounter one another at some point. Where is he currently located and what is he doing? That is, of course, if you don't mind my asking :P

Well, he still has the emblem, *cough future plot point cough* but technically he is not in a guild. Currently, he and Valak are in the stands watching the games. Valak just left for food. Although, I am going off the assumption that Ferrin won't share his origins easily. So, fair warning.

<Snipped quote by Zarkun>

I mean, Mithera did have a panic attack thinking that they would kidnap her, but I don't remember Melina having warned them...

But, it could've happened.
_{I'll find out when I go back to read the whole IC to make an anime out of it if I ever become rich}

Jokes on you! I just zoomed in and read it! :P