@wisedragongirl -- the home invader wasn't *really* a tree, it was a homeless guy with camo pants. The idea was to tell it in the same way the kid would've been seeing it, like in a nightmare, because yeah he's completely and totally traumatized by it and has no way of making sense of anything. I get the 'confusing' note a lot when I do stuff like this, and I should've learned my lesson by now.
@wisedragongirl -- the home invader wasn't *really* a tree, it was a homeless guy with camo pants. The idea was to tell it in the same way the kid would've been seeing it, like in a nightmare, because yeah he's completely and totally traumatized by it and has no way of making sense of anything. I get the 'confusing' note a lot when I do stuff like this, and I should've learned my lesson by now.
while crazy homeless guy does make sense, in horror stories any kind of monsters possible so I didn't think the idea of evil trees was that far-fetched.
<Snipped quote by mdk>
You were definitely able to get a clear image through the child's eyes across with your writing, I really pictured large living monstrous trees entering the home
I didn't enter the 4th round, so I don't know how it was there, but the voting for this round seems less exciting then the first 3 rounds...
In this thread there aren't any voting rules specified as far as I can see, but I assumed we were supposed to vote for an entry other than our own. In this thread it states that you must have read everything and then vote for the story you liked best. I feel my story was good enough to vote for myself (while Keyguyperson's story really is of good quality, it's not the kind of story I generally enjoy reading), but I don't think that's how the voting is supposed to work. That could be just me of course, in the end that is up to @mdk.
"Fǒu! Fǒu!"
The screaming came with the sound of more rustling leaves, and the next thing he knew, there was a gunshot. He closed his eyes at the sound, fully expecting to die instantly. He didn't feel anything though. For a moment, he wondered if the universe was merciful enough to take away the pain of death.
"Tāmen tuīchū hé dǎodàn! Jiéshùle!" Said the same man who had been screaming earlier.
The gunshot had made it clear that they were soldiers, but Niall had no idea what they were saying. He didn't know a word of Chinese, for all he knew, they could be discussing whether to kill him or take him prisoner.
"Hé dǎodàn?" Asked the man who Niall thought was the first soldier to find him. His voice was quivering, hopefully a sign that he wasn't going to shoot again. "W-wèishéme ne? Tāmen wèishéme yào nàme zuò ne?"
"Měiguó tuīchū tāmen de, ránhòu èluósī. Jiéshùle, jiéshùle..." At this point, the man was clearly in tears. Not happy ones either, he was devastated. It wasn't the voice of a man who had failed his mission, it was the voice of a man who had just seen everything he loved burnt to dust before him.
"Wèishéme ne?"
"Wǒ bù zhīdào! Zhǐyào bù shāle tā!"
"Wèishéme ne?" Yelled the other man, less sorrowful and more angry. "Tāmen shāle wǒmen suǒyǒu rén! Měi gèrén! Tāmen shāle dàjiā!"
"Tā méiyǒu zuò dào zhè yīdiǎn! Zhè shì tā de zhèngfǔ, méiyǒu rén huì xiǎng zhège! Bǎ qiāng fàngxià!"
<Snipped quote>
That awkward moment when you're not supposed to know what the people are saying but you know how to speak chinese :D
and pardon me if i'm wrong, but i think (in the exact order) it's something like:
no! no! they launched the nuclear missiles! it's over!
the nuclear missile? why? why would they do that?
america launched them, and then russia. it's over, it's over...
why?
i don't know! as long as they don't kill him
why? they killed all of our people! every person! they killed everyone!
he didn't do this! it was his government. put the gun down!
*this is not directly translated, more like interpreted*
<Snipped quote by ayzrules>
That seems about right, I'm honestly surprised you actually managed to get something out of it. Because nobody I know knows Chinese, so I used Google Translate. Nice to know it's somewhat coherent.
Runners-up
'Kitsune' by @Dedonus. Does a lot of things very right, and showcases some clear development as a writer. You're on the right track, @Dedonus!
One thing I tried to get right was to write a story that could be self-contained, rather than something that probably would have been more suited for being a chapter of a longer work.
