TEAM RUTABAGA
Meryn wanted to retreat under her hood – only to remember she wasn't currently wearing it – at the sight of all the people crowding around her. Her cheeks warmed and she didn't know what to do with all of the attention. Spook was there shoving some salve at her, the silver-haired girl was staring at her with that odd look again, Emma was already pushing her hand out of the way to get at the wounds, and Alex was just sitting there, watching it all. Meryn raised an eyebrow at the silver girl's words. Meryn had no interest in teleporting again anytime soon. She glanced back at the felidrake, which had finished its second piece of meat. It didn't seem to be in the mood either. What Emma said next though made Meryn pause and snap her head up to look at her.
She'd called Meryn her friend.
Was that true? She supposed the botanist probably came closest of anyone she knew if only because she spent the most time with her. But… friends? The word left an odd feeling in her stomach, and Meryn looked to the ground.
Soon enough Emma was finished treating her and everyone was making their way towards the circle Spook had drawn on the forest floor. Meryn only glanced up again when she didn't feel the shadow standing over her move. It was Alex, an arm extended down to her. Meryn looked away, the odd feeling returning. Her eyes found the felidrake. It was staring back at her with its lazy expression. Ignoring Alex, she reached forward slowly with her blood stained fingers. The felidrake sniffed her a bit before licking at the blood, and she took that as the ok. Gingerly, she scooped it up and dropped it into her open bag, listening to the bell inside jingle at the movement.
She winced as she pushed herself up, one hand pressing on the bandage while the other helped to support her bag strap (she was proud to note she'd only swayed a couple times and the pounding in her head barely got any worse when she stood). Meryn spared Alex a glance as she walked forward, making her way to where the group was gathering. Waiting at the back of the group, she watched the Traveller as he made his explanation.
Magic. Real magic. They were actually being given the chance. Spook had all of her attention as he spoke, and her eyebrows pushed ever so slightly together. What she dreamed of. What she loved. What took her breath away. Meryn looked to the side, the corner of her mouth quirking up in a quiet joke. Crashing to the ground had certainly taken her breath away.
What she loved was simple. She loved the feeling of flying through the city. She loved dancing through the air and over rooftops, untouchable and unstoppable. She loved climbing to the highest peak she could find and watching the sunset cast fiery shadows over the city.
But what did she dream of? Most of the time she tried not to think of it, if only because it was a hopeless dream. And in rare moments when it seemed attainable, she only managed to self-sabotage.
Her mind wandered back to the gates of Enn, when Alex had dumped that water on her. Honestly, she'd almost been relieved. He'd given her an excuse to withdraw, to not try with them. And then Meryn thought of Spook, and how at the first sign of not being taken seriously, she'd abandoned that attempt. She'd climbed up the tree almost out of spite, she was so eager.
She'd never been able to connect with anyone before. At first it was because of what an easy target she was to the other street kids. Then it was because of the way the rest of the town preferred to pretend she didn't exist. No one had the patience to bother communicating with her, not really. She'd grown up mute and illiterate, and while she'd learned to get her point across, her methods seemed so inefficient. When she became the town's most trusted delivery system, it was just another costume people put on her so they didn't need to know her.
The odd girl who darts through the sky. The quiet messenger. To be studied and gossiped about and theorized about and used, but never known. Something mysterious or pitiable or dirty, but never quite human enough. A target, a street rat, a messenger, a patient, a curiosity,
label after label. Never her. Never Meryn, not really. She wanted to snort at that, because even that was a farce. Meryn wasn't even her
name, just something some stranger had given her as payment for her first job.
She wanted to tell someone what it felt like to fly. She wanted to compliment someone's eyes, or tell them how she got every scar on her body. When she was angry, she wanted someone to know without having to guess. She wanted to argue and joke and rant. She wanted to unleash every thought echoing in her mind, no matter how arbitrary or complicated.
The answer to Spook's request circled over and over in her mind: Meryn wanted to be
understood. But somehow whenever it seemed like someone might come close… when had shutting down become so easy? Emma had called Meryn her friend. Alex had offered her help and consideration. How did she treat them in return?
She wondered if her parents would've understood her.
Meryn pressed her lips together and her grip on her strap tightened until her knuckles were white. She wasn't afraid of falling. She
wasn't. She had a reputation as one of the most fearless (insane?) people in Enn. But the thought of giving someone the chance only to be brushed off or misunderstood again – she was sprinting towards a ledge, only to skid to a stop inches before a jump, wobbling as she tried desperately not to fall over the side. Because if her feet never left the ground, she couldn't fall, could she?
But then, this wasn't anything at all like running. When she ran and jumped and climbed, there was no understanding. There was just
being. She didn't need anyone to run. Maybe that was why she liked it so much.
She watched as person after person stepped forward and placed their hands on the circle. She wondered what dreams they had. Spook had only asked for a few volunteers, right? They weren't all expected to step forward. He probably didn't
want them all to try at once. She'd try the next one. Her dream, such a laughable thing, probably wouldn't work well with the magic anyway. She ignored the voice in her head whispering
excuses. Meryn waited at the back, watching as the volunteers placed their hands on the circle and leaped into the unknown.