Edo-Karn, Karn, and Ariel - Grand Magic Games
@Silver Fox@t2waveWell now, this was different than the dream. They were all somewhat their own people still. When Karn's body was awake they were all bunched together and could hear everything. It had suddenly become abundantly clear to Ariel what Edo-Karn neant by voices. Definitely was more noisy than having mood swings from personality changes.
They mentioned that they all could hear and feel everything. It didn't take long for that to sink in either as she sensed some attraction toward Amaya that wasn't her own. It made her shiver a bit since it was something being impressed on her from outside of herself. "Oh, well. This is really weird. There isn't a way to turn that off is there?"
"Not really. Unless Karn loses all sense of emotions." Pen yawned boredly.
"Yup! You'll feel everything! Probably best we don't run into the Princess." Trinity giggled.
"Heh yeah. Some personality switched probably won't know what to do with the emotions brought by that interaction." Rian's calm sultry voice scoffed in what sounded like both irritation and amusement.
"This is just great. Another room buddy in these bundle of thoughts." Mayat's voice spoke sarcastically.
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Edo-Karn munched her food but blinked slowly as she listened briefly to the conversation in her head. "I'm hoping your just another voice Ariel. It's already awkward knowing my counterpart can feel my emotions and see my thoughts. And this probably won't beat any sorta intimacy I have ever experienced with someone." she thought in mild amusement, some of the voices groaning at her words at the mere thought, as if wanting to stop any thoughts popping up about certain situations.
Yes this was extremely awkward. Good thing she didn't particularly have anything embarrassing on her mind. And probably best left that way. The personality thing was mentioned but Ariel wasn't really sure if she could change when like this. "Well I'm here because of the Spirit magic. I dont want to know what happens if I change while I'm in here."
This could get ugly quick so she decided to try and locate Karn. She heard his voice but he seemed to be doing a good job of hiding despite the sharing of, well, everything. It could even be a good way to connect with Karn and better express why he shouldn't give up. "Karn..."
Edo-Karn rolled her eyes but decided to for now push her focus on the voices tot e side as they chattered away noisier then a banshee.
As Ariel spoke out to the original owner of the body, there was little to no answer among the chatters of other voices but after a long moment the same quiet voice spoke again. "What is it Copycat? You should probably be trying to get of here instead of talking." he said softly.
"I would love to get out, but I don't think I can. She probably has to be asleep for me to get in or out. This magic hasn't always made the most sense to me." Indeed, when they were awake they didn't seem to be able to do much. Though perhaps there was a way to find a little more quiet. Focusing as best she could Ariel tried to slip to the back of everything. Maybe it was because she wasn't just a hallucination but Ariel managed to join Karn away from the others. They were still there though, she could feel them. But it felt more distant.
Was it really a good idea to go deeper into the unknown? Hard to tell, but she could get a better sense from Karn this way. Which could either be good or bad. There was always the potential that Karn could drag her down with him. But Ariel felt confident in herself. The positive was meeting the negative and there was no way to really tell what the result would be. "Hello again. Sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."
The blonde male stayed silent for a moment again as Ariel's presence drew closer to him, deeper into the body. Quite the possibly dangerous move for a currently trapped soul. "It's alright... You are bound into our bad memories anyway if you are in here. The other me is doing a good job to hide hers though." he answered softly. So softly he just sounded like a child. Tired. Emotions spiked suddenly. It was like a crashing wave as sudden annoyance, and anger bubbled within the stomach. Spreading over the body like a wildfire that caused the shoulders to quake. Then another wave of just sadness. The heart feeling like lead and the stomach twisting in nauseating pain.
"Though even she can't completely control the human emotions." he said, a little strained from the sudden emotions his counterpart had. He focused what he could see from this bodies view and spotted Sasha and Lazarus before they left.
Ariel felt the emotions wash over her. This definitely was not a pleasant experience. Unfortunately it was likely to continue given the coming conversation. Ariel took a seat. Or as much as one could in a none existent world. After a few moments she looked at Karn again. "Well, since we're both stuck here maybe this is a good opportunity to talk. We never really got the chance to get to know each other all that well."
Ariel didn't really get the chance to think about things before memories of herself just came out. This whole sharing thing was difficult to keep a grasp on. Most things were to ne expected. Growing up with her parents, her father teaching her to fight. Normal stuff. And them in the more recent past her magic suddenly cropped up and chaos ensued. Nearly burning down the house, leaving home, joining Phoenix Wing, the nearly constant personality changes. Hell, getting kidnapped and brought to games to have her magic experimented with. In a short amout of time Ariel's life was turned upside down with no end in sight.
Edo-Karn would likely find the latter part interesting as it showed that Ariel's magic seemed to be evolving over time. Going beyond just changing the color of her hair, eyes, and clothing. It could actually change physical properties of the girl and if the Green magic was any indication, be directed.
Karn pushed his counterpart's emotions aside as he listened to the visitor within his body. It was true they hardly spoke before. Brief hello's but that was about it. In this current situation they were in, there really wasn't any better way to get to know one another, as Ariel proves as her memories come flowing in. She seemed to have a nice childhood... and he couldn't help his own memories flow through into memory. The first was of his mother, a beautiful angelic small woman with long flowing blonde hair and emerald green eyes. He was practically the spitting image of her. He remembered helping her cook as a child, then going fishing. Then the storm. Their boat being capsized. Remembering the feeling of his mouth being engulfed in water, his lungs shriveling as they filled with seawater. Yet he desperately tried to stay above the raging water's surface and try to swim to his mother, but the last he saw was her arm reaching out of the water before a large wave came crashing over them. And when he woke up on the beach, he was alone. Crying. The child feebly calling for his mother. Memories of his father and brother came to mind. How his brother acted as he never was there, or his father who be angry with him, blaming him for everything. Calling him names. Useless. Despicable. Monster. Murderer. Then purposely trying to drown him in buckets of water as punishment, to remind him what he did to his mother.
Then Karn discovered his magic, turning into a cat to hide from his father. The memory of his magic being discovered and his cat's feeble form being thrown into a tied bag and thrown into the ocean. How he lost himself and just acted like a cat for a month after clawing himself out. Never knowing what this magic was and forgetting he was a human. Then Ru, a Eastern Chimera finding him, picking him up and carrying him to Rian. Happier memories played within his mind, him being a cat and chewing on Ru's ear or trying to bounce on the large tail. The beast trying to teach Karn to swim, to fight, to hunt, to respect nature and all life. Rian teaching him the art of transformation, and several times scolding him when he acted foolish. Rian telling him the virtues of being in a wizard guild. Like having a family. Full of friends. But they disappeared one day, and he traveled to find Phoenix Wing.
He ran into Trinity, battled a Vulcan, met Maddox and Mayt. Took part in helping them get the book from the magic council. Met Mithera and remembered how excited he was to meet a dragon. Even though she was a transformation wizard similar to himself. He met Zero and Zenoram in the mountains and met a real dragon. Hemlock. The memory of having to fight against the dragon came to mind, and the memory of Hemlock's death. As well as those people who controlled the dragon Damian killed. Then after finding a job letter from his brother and taking it alone. Transforming into Maddox as a disguise. Fighting the people on the ship before discovering the skinned form of Ru and going berserk.
So full of utter rage. Turning more animal then human and sinking his teeth into his opponents and ripping them apart. Yet keeping them alive. Alive but maimed. The taste of blood and flesh in his mouth. His animalistic side satisfied, yet his human emotions feeling guilty. Then going home and yelling and snarling at his blood relatives. Before going home. Crawling into his underground home and sleeping on the skin of his dead adopted father. There were memories of him spending time with Nolan... but also memories of dying. The feeling of dying. Over. Over. And over again. For so long that he just felt tired. Dying... then magic forcibly keeping him alive. He was ready to lie down and just let it end. For it just to be over. He was happy. Happy he knew the Guild. But he was tired.
Then the night Edo-Karn was forcibly shoved in this body, keeping him alive. Her soul felt so warm. So very warm and comforting. And a part of him wanted to keep her chained here so he'd never have to let go of that warmth.
"It really is too bad... we haven't gotten a lot of time to talk. A lot of things seem to happen and time seems to just race by." Karn said softly.
Edo-Karn indeed perked a bit as Ariel's memory flashed within her mind, lips pressing together at the thought of the strange magic. Eyes narrowing as the voices in her mind then went on about the matter.
"Telling you.... should just experiment on her... might be a key way to get you home." Pen pointed out but the blonde just gave a annoyed grunt.
Ariel hugged her arms as the memories passed across to her. It was really hard to tell the passage of time like this. But like watching a movie she'd seen most of the major events in Karn's life. She felt fear, sadness, grief, and even anger. But the Spirit personality didn't have much capacity for those emotions so they passed quickly. If Ariel wasn't stuck like this she surely would have cycled through several colors. But it this case it was probably helpful that she couldn't.
Taking a breath out of habit she sighed a little. "Your counterpart told me a little about what had happened. But I didn't realize..." Stopping for a moment Ariel composed herself. She had to think about what she was going to say next. Karn had basically just revealed his deepest, most painful memories, even if he didn't really have a choice. It was clear that she was processing the information because it took her a long time to say anything. "I understand now how you could blame yourself. You and your mom went out on the water because you wanted to go. And your father and brother blamed you and told you it was your fault. That you were worthless and the reason for everything that happened." Letting go of her arms she moved over to Karn. "They said it so much that you started to believe it. They told you those things because they wanted you to give up. They wanted to break you and your spirit. They aren't your father or brother as far as I'm concerned. And you can't tell me that I don't understand because I just felt it and saw it all." Ariel sounded sure of what she was saying.
Before Karn could protest she hugged him and wouldn't let go. "You can't blame yourself for what happened. You couldn't have known about the storm or stopped what would happen. You can't hope to save others when you won't save yourself. Clinging to the lies that were heaped on you. Rian and Ru loved you and cared for you. Ru kept you alive hoping you would realize the truth. I'm sure of it. I know you gave up a long time ago, but I want to ask you one thing. What would someone that truly cared for you want? What would your mother want for you?" This was likely to be very hard on Karn no matter what answer he came to. She took someone that was the closest to him, that had been ripped away, and thrust her right in his face. It was a drastic question, but Ariel felt it needed to be asked. She braced herself for the coming thoughts and emotions.
Karn listened to Ariel, frowning as her words rang in his ears, his eyes fixating on his feet as she worded how his family treated him. It really was unfortunate to share so much without meaning to. Without even having to say a word. Showing just how pathetic he really was. He opened his mouth to reply but stopped as his guildmate suddenly embraced him so tightly. He could feel his body tremble, feeling so hurt, and so lost. Perhaps some anger that she was doing this to him. Reminding him of everything and shoving it in his face again. Closing his eyes as he felt the urge to just break down again. Curl up in a little ball and cower in the darkness. Slowly he shook his head, as he just looked away, lips trembling before firmly biting them with his fangs.
"They would want me to live... but what's the point? I'm sick of it. I'm not like my counterpart. I can't keep getting up when everything is ripped from me. I can't keep trying only to see it fail. How can I when everytime... everyone around me just dies while I am left behind? Momma..... Father.... Brother... Rian... Ru... Hemlock... even the other me suffer because of me. I'm not strong... I can't keep going. It hurts too much and I'm tired of feeling it all the time. I'm tired of drowning." Karn said softly, choking out a sob.
No amount of preparation could brace Ariel for the raw emotion that she felt now. Karn was broken, in pieces from the heart wrenching events of the past. And now he just wanted it to end. At first she held on trying to be strong but eventually she let go and stared for a few moments. Her expression was distant as if she were looking through Karn as something else. Eventually she slumped down to the ground.
This venture to talk to Karn was probably a huge mistake. Ariel felt like she was being crushed down. She barely had the fortitude to comprehend what was going on. Her Spirit magic began to show its true form as Ariel regressed into a little girl. If not for her actual age this would be the natural appearance of her Spirit magic. Young, innocent, and naive. Overwhelmed she began to cry which surely did not help the situation. Seemingly having forgotten she noticed Karn in front of her. Scooting over she hugged his leg weakly. She cried until it seemed to work its way out of her system. Sniffling she glanced around trying to remember what was going on. Karn was the only familiar thing around her.
Karn frowned as his Guildmate started to sob, break down with him and regressed to a child. He sniffles and choked out a sob as he hugged her leg and he knelt down and embraced her. Holding her in a crushing hug as his emerald eyes continued to fill with tears. He couldn't help it. It was just... So sad. He drug Ariel into this as well, and she shouldn't have to feel the pain he felt. Honestly, it felt like they were both lost crying children in this dark place.
"Hey you two. Calm down and breathe. I can hear you." Edo-Karn's voice spoke as she thought within this body's mind. Feeling their overwhelming emotions, yet her voice was calm. And sounding a bit kinder and soothing then before.
Karn choked out another sob and rubbed his eyes. "I-I can't. I'm not strong... It hurts... I'm not like you... I can't keep getting back up when I get knocked down.... I just... I can't." he sobbed.
There was silence for a moment before Edo-Karn spoke up again. "Listen. Everyone is not as different as they think they are. Life will knock you on your ass. One way or another, sooner or later. You will make mistakes, some things will be your fault and some will just be a accident. It hurts. And it is okay to cry, to feel sad, to regret. Everything feels like it's horrible, that there is no point to keep walking, to keep getting up. Bad things happen and sometimes there is no fixing it. But it makes you appreciate all the good things that happen. Even if they may seem small.... They feel wonderful. And I know, you have lovely memories too. Don't let the bad, overshadow precious memories. But, it's okay to cry. You don't need to force a smile, you don't need to pretend or fake happiness just to make others feel better. The reason I keep walking, is to make more happy memories. Even if I have to have several bad times. It's the hope to make more happy memories with my friends that matter. And your friends will understand too." Edo-Karn thought softly.
Karn sniffles a bit, rubbing his eyes and his body shook, gently holding Ariel close.
Holding onto Karn, Ariel listened to what Edo-Karn had to say as well. It sounded somewhat like what she had said earlier. But right now it didn't really matter to her. She was too caught up in Karn's memories and emotions to recognize it. But it seemed that she'd accepted them as her own on some level. She clung to Karn and hid her face. "S-she's right. You can't give up. You can make new memories, better ones." Leaning back so she could see Karn's face again her eyes were still filled with tears. "It's weird. I feel like I've known you forever. Like your family. No matter what happens I'm glad I was able to get to know you." She manage a smile and gave Karn a loving hug.
Even though Ariel seemed to be feeling better she didn't change back to her normal self. But she was getting over the barrage of emotions. Warmth seemed to come back to her and she hoped Karn could feel it. There still was no telling what Karn would do. She knew that there was still a chance he might not change his mind. But she was being honest, not that she had much of a choice. This definitely wouldn't be an experience she would ever forget.
Karn listened to the little girl version of Ariel, frowning as he closed his eyes, body shaking still like a cat that was caught out in the rain. "Thank you... But... I don't know..." he whispered softly. He just... Felt so broken. And it was warmer and safe in here, he didn't want to leave it.
"Karn. If you do not get back on your feet, you will lose everything. Your soul, your existence, your memories, your friends. And if you don't fight, I will. And if it means that I have to take everything you don't want to fight for, then I will. I will not hesitate to take your life, your memories, your family, if you don't fight for it. I will do everything I can to get back home and to my family but I cannot live for you. You can only live for you and what you want. I would prefer, if we can coexist peacefully." Edo-Karn spoke, her voice firm yet soft. A warning, yet still held a gentleness to it.
Blinking the blonde crowned as he thought about it. Hugging Ariel close.
After a while Ariel began to return to her normal self. She embraced Karn and tried to calm him. "I won't let you be alone again, Karn. I know your pain, shared your memories. I know you're afraid of losing more. But you aren't the only one. Especially not now. You can't lose anyone, well neither can I. And that includes you and your counterpart. You both mean a lot to me. And I don't really care if it's because of a fluke. You and I aren't just guildmates or friends. I said it before, we're family. And I'll do anything for family. You know me just as well as I know you. You need a reason to keep going, do it for me. You need strength then have some of mine."
Before Karn could protest Ariel had made up her mind that no matter what she was going to do her best to save him. Unlike with Ru though she didn't just want to force it on him. There was another reason she was doing this now though. Like with all of her magics each had a finite amount before she couldn't really use it. They all could likely feel it. Ariel couldn't get out still but it probably would mean she would be less active. And unlike Edo-Karn she had more autonomy to share thanks to her magic. That being said it would put her in a vulnerable position opening up further to let Karn take some of her will to live. Regardless she did it and hoped that Karn would accept her plea and offer. Glowing a pale teal color she held out a hand for Karn to take and make the exchange.
Karn looked at Ariel for a moment, rubbing his eyes then looked down at his hands. His eyes hurt, probably red and raw from his tears and the constant rubbing. They hurt a little. He felt such uncertainty, and he was afraid. Out there it never felt safe... in here it felt warm. And it was selfish, but he liked having other souls in here, trapped with him. It felt warm and comforting and a part of him just wanted to keep them here as long as he can. Like a stubborn child unwilling to part with their favorite stuffed teddy bear or something. He raised his hand a little hesitantly before shrinking it back to him, repeating the process a bit before shaking.
"...What about what may happen in the future? You know what happens to a slayer sooner or later right? I might turn into a Chimera...... And I might not be the same... And Ru is gone... he can't help me and I don't know of any others.. Would you still be there.. to be my friend?" Karn asked softly.
It didn't take a special connection to tell that Karn was afraid. Focusing her magic in one hand she used the other arm to hug Karn. "I'll be your friend no matter what. Even if it doesn't seem like it, what with my personality being all over the place at times. What you are won't change that either. If you become a Chimera then I'll be sure to do my best to keep you yourself." The whole changing thing had her a bit worried as well. Not for Karn, but herself. Like the rage from the Blood magic. If that was any indication other personalities could be just as bad or worse.
"You probably know this by now, but before all of this your upbeat attitude helped keep the better sides of me around. My magic an emotions change so easily and I really don't know how to control it. This doesn't have to be one sided. You can still help people in ways you don't expect." She offered the hand that held the magic again and smiled softly. "I still want you to choose, Karn. I don't want to force it on you, I can't decide for you. But if you do decide to fight then can we agree to help each other?" For not she tried to ignore the commotion going on from the Magic Games event. Both she and Karn would probably be helpful in this situation, as they actually knew more about magic. But that had to wait. In her mind it would all be for naught if she couldn't convince Karn to continue on.
Karn looked down as he listened to his Guildmate speak, raising his head a little as he was embraced. His body trembled nervously as her emerald eyes widened ever so softly, nervous and scared but there was a slight glimmer that had been gone for some time. Hope. Even if he ended up a complete beast one day, it was nice to know... that even then he'd have a friend who wanted him around. And he felt happy.... to know that Ariel felt that way about him. That he was somehow useful... despite how much it felt like all he could do was fail. Over and over. And maybe she was right. Maybe he could help someone out there. He was afraid of messing up again, hurting someone again and failing them, but... maybe if he could help someone... if he was useful to at least one person out there. It would be okay. It would be okay to rely on his friends.
Slowly, with a hesitantly nod, he reached out to the offered hand, gingerly grasping it acceptingly. "....okay..." he said softly.
When Karn took Ariel's hand she used the remaining amount of her magic to give a boost to the spark of hope she just started. "Thank you Karn." It seemed that things outside were getting pretty hectic. It was a bit harder ignore with the pain coming in but thankfully Ariel had accomplished at least part of her goal. Though she did get a bit of the negative feelings in exchange. But it seemed that her time here had run out. Panny was using some magic to put Karn to sleep. With all her magic used up that would mean Ariel was about to head back to her own body. "I'll be back when I can. You all get along. I'll be watching the game." Karn fell asleep and Ariel vanished as she was pulled back to her body.
When Ariel's soul reached her body she woke suddenly. For a moment she was in shock, having just had another person's life dropped into her head. The Spirit magic spent for a while she switched to Water magic. Leaning over the bed she held her head in her hands for a while while everything sank in. Her head hurt from her body having slept so long. She wanted to be in a better mood but what she took from Karn in exchange would probably leave her feeling sad for a while. But that was the cost for helping a friend.
After a while she picked herself up and got dressed. This was going to be a rough morning. Then she remembered that the Karns were currently fighting in the magic games. She wanted to be there whenever they got out. Maybe Karn would actually show himself again. Maybe that was hoping for a bit much. But whatever. She hurried off to the games and entered the Phoenix Wing stands.