Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by LadyRunic
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LadyRunic The Laughing Raven

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What I'm saying is that even Falk with all his power and age couldn't possibly have recruited every single member of a specific type of fae.


I never said he controlled all Mara, simply that they were a Fae kin he would recruit.

How are the types of fae that have the word Sidhe in there name going to be handled? For example the Bean Sidhe, Leanan Sidhe, Cat Sidhe.


Simple. They aren't PURE Sidhe. Bean Sidhe is a Banshee, Leanan Sidhe is a muse- they are most likely Earthly Sidhe. Cat Sidhe are- well- cats. Cat Fae. Sidhe DOES mean Fae, but it also expands on that idea for the species of pure Sidhe.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Lady Seraphina
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@LadyRunic Alright I'm going to go through the OP and tell you what I think of it both layout and content as you requested. This might be a bit rough but I'm just calling it as I see it. This isn't anything against you personally.

Having a picture at the beginning of the OP is a good thing. It grabs the eye and gives the post a sense of life that a wall of text tends to lack. However I don't think this particular picture is the best choice. I realize it is your characters: Falk and his human servant and that's great for a character sheet but perhaps not so much for an RP header. The opening picture sort of sets the tone in which viewers are going to read the rest of the OP. This picture sort of gives the impression that those depicted are extremely important, like if this were a novel they would be on the cover important. That's not necessarily a bad thing but in this setting it could easily give any prospective RPers the impression that the RP will focus very exclusively on Falk and the girl which means they couldn't hope to play more than a side part. Besides that the picture is a very intimate one which clashes with the scope this RP is trying to achieve.

I would suggest you pick out a different fae picture, one either with no fae in it or with a very large crowd. Something from either this or this I think would suit the RP better.

A quote is a decent tool for drawing someone in, personally I would pick something different as this one doesn't draw you immediately to thinking of fae. This song has some good options if you're looking but that's your choice as this one works well enough.

The really important thing is that the quote needs to stand out. Despite having it's own paragraph it sort of blends into the wall of text below. Perhaps try centering it, italicizing it or placing it directly under the photo no spaces to get a better effect, even a combination of those three would help.

Being honest this whole thing is kind of clunky. It takes till halfway through it for the fae to be mentioned. The narrator (evidently a minion of Falk) is aluded to as being a person present in the story but cuts off that train of though with "I'm not really important to this at all". The facts about the fae courts are a bit here and there and not really conclusive about what they mean. The way Fall, Winter, Spring, and Summer are followed by "The Seelie and Unseelie Courts could lead someone to surmise that there are six Fae Courts not four. This section of the OP should give a short introduction to what the RP will be about with more specifics than the title that initially drew in the viewer. If this section is too wordy and confusing they may either get frustrated and look for something else or leave thinking "I'm not sure what that RP is really about." This paragraphs are really addressing someone who knows about the fae and about the RP before they read them which is not good as it is intended to hook new RPers.

It starts in the human worlds with a sort of conspiracy theory nut sound to it and suddenly shifts rather drastically into full on fantasy. While it's good that the opening is not "Here's what the RP is about" and told from the perspective of someone inside the world it seems as though the narrator goes through some sort of change. As though the first paragraph was written just after he got to the fae courts from the mortal plane and the next ones are written a couple hundred years later when he's grown tired of life and of the fae. It leaves a certain disconnect. That may harm new people wanting to join.

A closing quote isn't really all that necessary but that's more your call. The same thing as the first one, make the quote stand out. Italicize it, center it. Make it look important.

I realize that Falk is your character but perhaps talking about him in sections unrelated to him or the Fall Court isn't the best idea especially since this section is meant to convey information. It would be better to move that tidbit about some fae believing Falk came from the mist or created it to the Fall Court section or his own character sheet but this isn't the place to be speaking of him unless you intent to report rumors of the others rulers in this section as well. If you could clarify the initial design of the courts, it's fine as it is but just a little jumbled, for instance it says one lands blends into the next but there is also apparently an area inbetween them that is neutral or something. Some with "the courts are not round" I understand that you mean the fae world is not a globe like the human one but the way it is worded sort of throws you off for a second.

I wrote this so I'm not in the best position to critique it.

This could be a bit more detailed and please spell check, but I understand that you didn't write it so that's not really aimed at you.

Could use some specific landmarks like the appearance of Falk's court but otherwise evokes good imagery and sense. Don't forget to spellcheck, there's a couple things in there that aren't right.

Pending.

I believe it is Glamour not Glimmer











The rest of this looks fine but I think it might be better to reorder it a little. Like this:

1. More about the Fae
2. Fae Magic
3. Fae Realms
4. Rulers of the Fae (Co-GMs)
5. Rules for Role Playing
6. Character Sheet

Not everyone is going to know a lot about the fae or be immersed in folklore. That makes education on the beings of this fantasy land the most important thing. It does us no good to know where the fae live if we don't know who they are. Fae magic comes next as that plays a big part in this. The Fae Realms only after we have a basic idea of everything else. Having the Rulers in between ties them to the Courts Section but also the more serious Rules that the relate to the Co-GM part of the title. Rules should go above Character sheet so people don't push past them and perhaps leave them out of the hider so they are obvious to everyone.

This is pretty much useless. There are so few fae actually in this category that actually opening this hider is a waste of time. My suggestion would be to eliminate this from the OP. In the character tab use the first post as a character list with links to each sheet to make navigating easier then use the second post as a sort of codex for fae. A list of types of fae, what Courts they can belong to (barring unusual circumstances for an individual fae) and an explanation of there powers and nature. Anyone can help add to it (pending approval of course) and it would give new comers who aren't willing or comfortable creating there own fae from folklore a place to start brain storming characters.

There is a shift when the rules are brought up that takes the reader out of lore mode and into character creation. Having the basic plot all the way down her drags them backwards and they have to find there creative outlook again. All the information here should be included with the introduction.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by BlackPanther
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@Prince of Seraphs
As for my half
I am on an iPhone
Spell check is not a thing on it
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by LadyRunic
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. I realize it is your characters: Falk and his human servant and that's great for a character sheet but perhaps not so much for an RP header.


Actually it isn't. Just a nice picture. And I can't find one that suits the RP Landscape-wise.

A quote is a decent tool for drawing someone in, personally I would pick something different as this one doesn't draw you immediately to thinking of fae. This song has some good options if you're looking but that's your choice as this one works well enough.


Yes that song is where I got the idea, thank you Heather Dale. But the Quote isn't a quote. It's actually my own hand and something Aisling sings. So it's suppose to bleed into the text. The ending 'quote' is the ending part of the rhyme.

d. The narrator (evidently a minion of Falk) is aluded to as being a person present in the story but cuts off that train of though with "I'm not really important to this at all".


It's Aisling, and she is nothing in the grand scheme of the Fae. as for the change, she did change, a lot. She's been in the Fae Court since Victorian times. So she well knows and remembers both sides of the coin. As for throwing off New Rpers. I am Trying to keep non dedicated people out. And even with that there how much attention has this Forum gotten? Quite a bit!

I realize that Falk is your character but perhaps talking about him in sections unrelated to him or the Fall Court isn't the best idea especially since this section is meant to convey information.


Falk is a MAJOR character. It's him this world is built around and I have him in there for a reason. Falk is one of the oldest Fae and most powerful. He is a legend in his own. Also, I may type him but he is the one doing it and speaking the words. Unlike Aisling, Falk is meant to be the antagonist in this Rp.

As for the rest? Not going to worry about it too much. Though i may edit it later. I stated those Fae were only examples. I'm content to leave it as it is, I may change the picture but I don't really see any big changes I should make.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Lady Seraphina
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As for the rest? Not going to worry about it too much. Though i may edit it later. I stated those Fae were only examples. I'm content to leave it as it is, I may change the picture but I don't really see any big changes I should make.


As you like it. You asked how it looked. That was my opinion. What you do now is of your own design.

I still think a codex or compendium of fae in the character tab would be a good idea, if for nothing else than for keeping straight who can do what.

Adding a little color here and there to the OP could make it look more appealing to. If nothing else though spellcheck it before the reboot.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by LadyRunic
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I still think a codex or compendium of fae in the character tab would be a good idea, if for nothing else than for keeping straight who can do what.


I'll probably do that.

Adding a little color here and there to the OP could make it look more appealing to. If nothing else though spellcheck it before the reboot.


And I will do that. I don't mean to sound snappy but late night.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by rechonq
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I just read the OP again and I'm not very familiar with fae in general, but I actually thought it was rather well written and organized. Falk is supposed to be the most powerful so most of what anyone else does would be technically more of a side story. The list of Fae with their courts was especially helpful to denote that they were supposed to have certain characteristics based on where they are from and certain Fae are more akin to certain courts. This RP got a lot of feedback the first time around, but not many followed through with it. I ended up stopping RP altogether for a bit, so I was part of the problem, but the OP seems pretty good in my opinion.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Belle
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@Prince of Seraphs I loved OUATIW, especially how they did the Jabberwocky! She and the Red Queen were my fav characters.

I was planning on making Aryssyla fairly young for a ruler fae, younger than the other rulers. She and Feoras are at war right now so if Falk approached her with a plan to take down make things difficult for Summer she would probably be on board with it.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by BlackPanther
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@Belle
"I still am uncertain of what I did to make that one upset"

Feoras this is why people try to kidnap your pet
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Belle
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@BlackPanther A female fae is still a female Feoras. And yes she is probably going to try and steal Lyra cuz come on Lyra is a cutie pie! (I say that with no bias whatsoever)
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Lady Seraphina
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I just read the OP again and I'm not very familiar with fae in general, but I actually thought it was rather well written and organized. Falk is supposed to be the most powerful so most of what anyone else does would be technically more of a side story. The list of Fae with their courts was especially helpful to denote that they were supposed to have certain characteristics based on where they are from and certain Fae are more akin to certain courts. This RP got a lot of feedback the first time around, but not many followed through with it. I ended up stopping RP altogether for a bit, so I was part of the problem, but the OP seems pretty good in my opinion.


With all due respect you already know what's going on with the RP. For those completely uninformed it is a little haphazardous. I'm not saying it was terrible just that it could be improved. What's done with my suggestions are of no concern to me. Runic can use them or not as she chooses.

@Prince of Seraphs I loved OUATIW, especially how they did the Jabberwocky! She and the Red Queen were my fav characters.

I was planning on making Aryssyla fairly young for a ruler fae, younger than the other rulers. She and Feoras are at war right now so if Falk approached her with a plan to take down make things difficult for Summer she would probably be on board with it.


So good, I was really hoping there would be a second season but I suppose the story was told. Anything more would be superfluous. The knave of Hearts was great and I loved how sympathetic the villains were. Not that most OUAT villains weren't but in the regular show they played up the whole redemption thing way too much. In OUATIW it was done just enough to make them enjoyable.

How young precisely? Has she been ruler for two thousand plus years or is she younger than that. If she's younger who was the ruler prior to her?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Belle
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I wanted to make her the youngest so I guess that would depend on how old everyone else is. I was talking about it with @LadyRunic so I will post it here once we make a clear decision. I don't remember how thrones are passed (if from parent to child or if they were taken by force). All I can say is that it's been long four days at work and I will have to get my head on straight again. I am leaning towards her earning the right to the throne from another, possibly a family member, but whatever will work best for the world and the story is what I will go with.

I just finished my description of the Winter Realm and am waiting on a review from Lady Runic to see if I need to correct anything.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by LadyRunic
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roleplayerguild.com/topics/126893-fae-..

@Belle It can be passed either peacefully or by force
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by LadyRunic
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-END THREAD-

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