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[OOC] Star Wars: A Stormtrooper's Tale. Page 8

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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ONL
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ONL Occasional Private Dick

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Exactly why I picked it. Blowing stuff up always works ^^
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Azkott
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Azkott The Mexican

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Just posted. Looking for critique.

Also, remember to try to interact with eachother as much as possible. You may be part of a 45,000 ship crew, but this is roleplay, and chance encounters occur. It'll be a short while before the 'crash'.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ONL
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As for critique, the only real thing I feel is missing is the...I don't know, feeling of Star Wars to it. I think it might be the lack of the Star Wars-ish intro with the descending text. But then, that is my only real complain :P
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Azkott
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Azkott The Mexican

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@ONL - Yeh. Don't really know what kind of Star Wars aspects I could really add into a soldier staring off into the vastness of space. But, hopefully we'll develop it as we go along.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
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@AzkottAs for the critique I can give you is that your perspective is a bit janky since it sounds like third person for most of it but there's a lack of a third person tone I guess? Anyways, it sounds like you're speaking through her thoughts but at the same time it just doesn't have that sort of vividness or animation to it that makes it sound... alive. Also, that last sentence is really out of perspective since I can't tell if its what kind of perspective it is and if its her thoughts that is just being projected, her actual thoughts or her saying something.

And before anyone else thinks it in their head, yes I know I'm sounding like a bit of an asshole right now, I'm sorry.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Orlan
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Well the spelling and lack of capital letters irks me a little.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Anarchy
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I didn't see it.

What happened?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
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Posted!

I didn't see it.

What happened?


It got deleted, GM said that they'd try rewriting it later.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Anarchy
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Well, we are on a starship.

How about we just start our own stuff until something fucks all of our days up?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Gat Izen
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Can we write first person?@Azkott
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
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Can we write first person?@Azkott


Most people tend not too but as long as the GM don't have an issue with it it should be alright? Honestly its unofficially expected that people write third person tho.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Gat Izen
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@ClocktowerEchos Thats what I thought. Well we shall see.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Ollumhammersong
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Ollumhammersong

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Ill work to get something up tomorrow.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by DarkStar
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DarkStar Linux / LIKE BOSS IT IS

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Still accepting characters?

Though, I see that there are quite a few :/
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
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Still accepting characters?

Though, I see that there are quite a few :/


Unfortunately its currently marked as Full by the GM :\
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by DarkStar
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Oh well then :p
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Anarchy
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We can't make a new post until the 14th person places theirs, right?

It's my first roleplay I'm actively participating in. I'm excited. (Phew! Thank goodness it's in casual.)
Hidden 8 yrs ago → 8 yrs ago Post by Three Five
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Hi all. Sorry for the radio silence from me the past few days; I've been busy. I'll get a post up ASAP.

@Anarchy
Generally you can post as much as you want to. You don't have to wait, especially if you are just interacting with other characters and not moving the plot forward significantly.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Anarchy
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You know, I think I'm going to take my time with it thanks.

Give it some natural suspense.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Three Five
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Three Five

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@Bishop
Is the clone in your post supposed to be Velker?
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