1 Guest viewing this page
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ONL
Raw
Avatar of ONL

ONL Occasional Private Dick

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Exactly why I picked it. Blowing stuff up always works ^^
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Azkott
Raw
GM
Avatar of Azkott

Azkott The Mexican

Member Seen 8 yrs ago

Just posted. Looking for critique.

Also, remember to try to interact with eachother as much as possible. You may be part of a 45,000 ship crew, but this is roleplay, and chance encounters occur. It'll be a short while before the 'crash'.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ONL
Raw
Avatar of ONL

ONL Occasional Private Dick

Member Seen 2 mos ago

As for critique, the only real thing I feel is missing is the...I don't know, feeling of Star Wars to it. I think it might be the lack of the Star Wars-ish intro with the descending text. But then, that is my only real complain :P
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Azkott
Raw
GM
Avatar of Azkott

Azkott The Mexican

Member Seen 8 yrs ago

@ONL - Yeh. Don't really know what kind of Star Wars aspects I could really add into a soldier staring off into the vastness of space. But, hopefully we'll develop it as we go along.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
Raw
Avatar of ClocktowerEchos

ClocktowerEchos Come Fly With Me!

Member Seen 18 days ago

@AzkottAs for the critique I can give you is that your perspective is a bit janky since it sounds like third person for most of it but there's a lack of a third person tone I guess? Anyways, it sounds like you're speaking through her thoughts but at the same time it just doesn't have that sort of vividness or animation to it that makes it sound... alive. Also, that last sentence is really out of perspective since I can't tell if its what kind of perspective it is and if its her thoughts that is just being projected, her actual thoughts or her saying something.

And before anyone else thinks it in their head, yes I know I'm sounding like a bit of an asshole right now, I'm sorry.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Orlan
Raw

Orlan

Member Seen 8 yrs ago

Well the spelling and lack of capital letters irks me a little.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Anarchy
Raw
Avatar of Anarchy

Anarchy just being me

Banned Seen 8 yrs ago

I didn't see it.

What happened?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
Raw
Avatar of ClocktowerEchos

ClocktowerEchos Come Fly With Me!

Member Seen 18 days ago

Posted!

I didn't see it.

What happened?


It got deleted, GM said that they'd try rewriting it later.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Anarchy
Raw
Avatar of Anarchy

Anarchy just being me

Banned Seen 8 yrs ago

Well, we are on a starship.

How about we just start our own stuff until something fucks all of our days up?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Gat Izen
Raw
Avatar of Gat Izen

Gat Izen

Member Seen 8 yrs ago

Can we write first person?@Azkott
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
Raw
Avatar of ClocktowerEchos

ClocktowerEchos Come Fly With Me!

Member Seen 18 days ago

Can we write first person?@Azkott


Most people tend not too but as long as the GM don't have an issue with it it should be alright? Honestly its unofficially expected that people write third person tho.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Gat Izen
Raw
Avatar of Gat Izen

Gat Izen

Member Seen 8 yrs ago

@ClocktowerEchos Thats what I thought. Well we shall see.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Ollumhammersong
Raw
Avatar of Ollumhammersong

Ollumhammersong

Member Seen 3 days ago

Ill work to get something up tomorrow.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by DarkStar
Raw
Avatar of DarkStar

DarkStar Linux / LIKE BOSS IT IS

Member Seen 9 mos ago

Still accepting characters?

Though, I see that there are quite a few :/
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
Raw
Avatar of ClocktowerEchos

ClocktowerEchos Come Fly With Me!

Member Seen 18 days ago

Still accepting characters?

Though, I see that there are quite a few :/


Unfortunately its currently marked as Full by the GM :\
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by DarkStar
Raw
Avatar of DarkStar

DarkStar Linux / LIKE BOSS IT IS

Member Seen 9 mos ago

Oh well then :p
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Anarchy
Raw
Avatar of Anarchy

Anarchy just being me

Banned Seen 8 yrs ago

We can't make a new post until the 14th person places theirs, right?

It's my first roleplay I'm actively participating in. I'm excited. (Phew! Thank goodness it's in casual.)
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Three Five
Raw
Avatar of Three Five

Three Five

Member Seen 1 yr ago

Hi all. Sorry for the radio silence from me the past few days; I've been busy. I'll get a post up ASAP.

@Anarchy
Generally you can post as much as you want to. You don't have to wait, especially if you are just interacting with other characters and not moving the plot forward significantly.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Anarchy
Raw
Avatar of Anarchy

Anarchy just being me

Banned Seen 8 yrs ago

You know, I think I'm going to take my time with it thanks.

Give it some natural suspense.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Three Five
Raw
Avatar of Three Five

Three Five

Member Seen 1 yr ago

@Bishop
Is the clone in your post supposed to be Velker?
↑ Top
1 Guest viewing this page
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet