Now then, as for your CS, it looks good we just need a few things to tighten up. - As hilarious as it is, it'd help if the name was shorter. 5-7 names at most. (Example: Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski deRolo III) - The only other thing I can see is making it more serious, overall. Things like the goals. Though I support the use of the kazoo and all of its glory. In the end, try to keep the spirit of your character while keeping it official, if you can.
Do those changes, then we're good because otherwise:
@Musaki Hajime On it boss I really need to spot fucking editing and beautifying my damn CS too Q_Q
lol I was surprised to see it all set up like an actual file on a solider xD it gave it flavor. Also, I can't wait to see how your character is going to act
@Musaki HajimeAlright, made some edits, hopefully they're good enough, made him a bit more serious, hopefully it balances out okay. Also, all of the quotes do relate back to Elyot in some form so they're more than just decoration. ^^
@Musaki HajimeAlright, made some edits, hopefully they're good enough, made him a bit more serious, hopefully it balances out okay. Also, all of the quotes do relate back to Elyot in some form so they're more than just decoration. ^^
All set! =D Looks good my friend~ Welcome to the UNF!
Nickname: The Hidden Blade, The Pilot Killer, Allie (only to friends)
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Physical Appearance: Ayle is young and pretty. She has Long dark brown hair and bright green eyes, is of medium build, neither slight nor particularly muscly. She is slightly below average height and Light skinned. While it is generally covered by her suit she has a long scarred burn mark down the inner side of her left leg from an injury in her childhood.
Clothing: Generally wears a black jump suit with a rangers vest that holds several small knife holsters in the back and has a belt with a tactical pistol held in a holster. While on covert jobs, Ayle wears a mask with several built in features for sight, oxygen and voice modulation.
Personality: Ayle's personality is one difficult to examine from the outside. She is often quite the social butterfly, talking to others in a very friendly manner to get in good standing with them. What this hides is her darker thoughts born from her hatred. Despite being quite friendly while off the job, while working, Ayle has no smiles. She is cold, calculating and despite not being particularly large, quite intimidating.
While Ayle is known for her brutal efficiency during her missions, one thing she is not is disloyal. She isn't likely to work with partners during a mission but if she does, she has never before turned on one of her partners. The same can also be said for her employers. So long as they pay promptly and don't endanger her, Ayle refuses to turn upon her employers even if she is offered a far better contract by others to do so. She even has a reputation for this fact to the degree that certain parties pay her a regular tithe to ensure that she never takes contracts against them.
Ayle hailed from a small village with little knowledge of the geo-political complexities of the formation of the UNF. Technically her village was part of the UNF but was rural enough that they never faced the war and their lives were unchanged by the 'world peace'. For this reason, Ayle's childhood was quiet; but for this reason the village was taken completely by surprise when the terrorists that would later become the Ordo Sanctus struck.
The power of the Valkinais was overwhelming, in mere hours, hundreds of lives were lost. Most of the villagers including Ayle's parents were butchered by the terrorist group. Those that survived hid in bunkers. When the UNF finally arrived, the soldiers were met with cheers. The battle raged overhead with incredible flying machines of war. The strength of the UNF's efforts to protect the people was overwhelming. The battle was won as the final terrorist Valkinai was shot out of the sky.
The day was saved. Or so it seemed as the fiery hunk of metal fell from the sky, crashing upon the bunker. The explosion of force and shrapnel killed most of the survivors of the initial slaughter. Ayle was one of the few lucky ones. Her only wound was a deep cut up the inside of her left leg. Without rescue from military medics, all probability says she would have bled out.
After recovering enough to live normally Ayle trained with the UNF military. Deep within herself, she blamed not just the terrorists that had come to be known as the Ordo Sanctus, but also the UNF for what had happened to herself and her people. She buried the anger within, working hard to improve her skills, thinking of revenge to come. Her hard work and drive quickly led her to excel as a soldier, specialising in infiltration, sabotage and assassination.
When finally satisfied with her skills, Ayle left the UNF, simply disappearing suddenly one day. Years had passed but she had still never forgotten her rage at the UNF. She began working freelance, taking jobs from various factions. Theft, sabotage and even assassination. Before long a reputation began to develop. In particular, she became known for her ability to take down pilots. In particular she is known for having twice in her career assassinated pilots while they were in their valkinai.
Job: Infiltrator, Assassin, Saboteur
Goal: Render Valkinai technology obsolete
Support: Preferences UNF but takes jobs from either
Pilot Aptitude: C rank Aptitude but no training as a pilot.
Equipment: - A rangers vest with ballistics which should guard against any low calibre rounds, - A jumpsuit which allows her to use her flexible and agile nature to its peak, - a tactical pistol with silencers on each hip, - on her back in slots on the vest are 8 slots for throwing knives, one combat dagger and a clip for her retractable sniper rifle - A short distance pocket radar sensor that she activates so people won't be able to sneak up on her while she is concentrating on sniping. - A backpack with a covert infiltration kit including code breaker, screwdriver etc. (basically stuff for getting through locked doors, hacking into stuff and just generally getting where she isn't meant to be.) - On her right wrist she has a retractable cable with claw to quickly grapple to distant locations.
Nickname: The Hidden Blade, The Pilot Killer, Allie (only to friends)
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Physical Appearance: Ayle is young and pretty. She has Long dark brown hair and bright green eyes, is of medium build, neither slight nor particularly muscly. She is slightly below average height and Light skinned. While it is generally covered by her suit she has a long scarred burn mark down the inner side of her left leg from an injury in her childhood.
Clothing: Generally wears a black jump suit with a rangers vest that holds several small knife holsters in the back and has a belt with a tactical pistol held in a holster. While on covert jobs, Ayle wears a mask with several built in features for sight, oxygen and voice modulation.
Personality: Ayle's personality is one difficult to examine from the outside. She is often quite the social butterfly, talking to others in a very friendly manner to get in good standing with them. What this hides is her darker thoughts born from her hatred. Despite being quite friendly while off the job, while working, Ayle has no smiles. She is cold, calculating and despite not being particularly large, quite intimidating.
While Ayle is known for her brutal efficiency during her missions, one thing she is not is disloyal. She isn't likely to work with partners during a mission but if she does, she has never before turned on one of her partners. The same can also be said for her employers. So long as they pay promptly and don't endanger her, Ayle refuses to turn upon her employers even if she is offered a far better contract by others to do so. She even has a reputation for this fact to the degree that certain parties pay her a regular tithe to ensure that she never takes contracts against them.
Ayle hailed from a small village with little knowledge of the geo-political complexities of the formation of the UNF. Technically her village was part of the UNF but was rural enough that they never faced the war and their lives were unchanged by the 'world peace'. For this reason, Ayle's childhood was quiet; but for this reason the village was taken completely by surprise when the terrorists that would later become the Ordo Sanctus struck.
The power of the Valkinais was overwhelming, in mere hours, hundreds of lives were lost. Most of the villagers including Ayle's parents were butchered by the terrorist group. Those that survived hid in bunkers. When the UNF finally arrived, the soldiers were met with cheers. The battle raged overhead with incredible flying machines of war. The strength of the UNF's efforts to protect the people was overwhelming. The battle was won as the final terrorist Valkinai was shot out of the sky.
The day was saved. Or so it seemed as the fiery hunk of metal fell from the sky, crashing upon the bunker. The explosion of force and shrapnel killed most of the survivors of the initial slaughter. Ayle was one of the few lucky ones. Her only wound was a deep cut up the inside of her left leg. Without rescue from military medics, all probability says she would have bled out.
After recovering enough to live normally Ayle trained with the UNF military. Deep within herself, she blamed not just the terrorists that had come to be known as the Ordo Sanctus, but also the UNF for what had happened to herself and her people. She buried the anger within, working hard to improve her skills, thinking of revenge to come. Her hard work and drive quickly led her to excel as a soldier, specialising in infiltration, sabotage and assassination.
When finally satisfied with her skills, Ayle left the UNF, simply disappearing suddenly one day. Years had passed but she had still never forgotten her rage at the UNF. She began working freelance, taking jobs from various factions. Theft, sabotage and even assassination. Before long a reputation began to develop. In particular, she became known for her ability to take down pilots. In particular she is known for having twice in her career assassinated pilots while they were in their valkinai.
Job: Infiltrator, Assassin, Saboteur
Goal: Render Valkinai technology obsolete
Support: Preferences UNF but takes jobs from either
Pilot Aptitude: C rank Aptitude but no training as a pilot.
Equipment: - A rangers vest with ballistics which should guard against any low calibre rounds, - A jumpsuit which allows her to use her flexible and agile nature to its peak, - a tactical pistol with silencers on each hip, - on her back in slots on the vest are 8 slots for throwing knives, one combat dagger and a clip for her retractable sniper rifle - A short distance pocket radar sensor that she activates so people won't be able to sneak up on her while she is concentrating on sniping. - A backpack with a covert infiltration kit including code breaker, screwdriver etc. (basically stuff for getting through locked doors, hacking into stuff and just generally getting where she isn't meant to be.) - On her right wrist she has a retractable cable with claw to quickly grapple to distant locations.
Other notes: Anything else we should know?
Looks good to me. Could you post the CS to the CHAR page on the main RP? =D I'll give it the full look over and decision there
