@Gowi Thank you, I'm fairly exhausted due to transitioning from: writing all day since I was on winter break --> going to school and writing on top of that is quite tiring. So, pardon me for missing the quotation and having my creativity levels low for the benchmarks but thank you for mentioning them.
I'll add a quotation to fix that part up and add Combat Casting to it. The lighter visage is a representation of Marcelino's self-consciousness with troubles against fashion and bodily issues. It strings together all the variety of variables that a younger version of Marcelino wish to be born as someone different and Pariah picked that up and when his character was being created, boom! Taking the feelings of anxiety and locating what was at the root, Pariah made a character that was most comfortable for Marcelino even if he is fine with himself now.
<Typed up something about social media influencing the basis of what 'beautiful was' but deleted it cause it seemed like a flimsy argument, I'll chalk it up to self-consciousness which is a simpler explanation>
“If you are looking for a book, check aisle B for monsters or aisle D for plants and aisle A for miscellaneous. For something else, I would recommend you come in advance, it helps with me being prepared, you know?”
O V E R V I E W
N A M E
Marcelino Anthony Silvestre
A V A T A R
Silvestre
A G E
22
G E N D E R
Male
V I S A G E
Marcelino can be considered what you would call a 'hipster' of sorts, the outgoing and quirky guy that you know. Having a fun and energetic personality to him and following all of the latest trends, it wouldn't be at all unexpected that he is a serious gamer who would have fun both in the real world and virtual one. To him personally, it's surprising he can pull such an outgoing and bubbly personality that even his friends think that he is always like that. From inside, he is an anxious and self-conscious person which he disguises pretty well apparently which goes unnoticed from most people. Fighting against his self-depreciating ways, he managed to improve himself by elevating his figure and keeping himself away from a sorry state that he once was in. Having a lithe body almost like a swimmer, while having black hair with blonde streaks through it and dark brown eyes.
When translating over to Pariah, it replicates mostly the same figure for him in real life with the exception of his skin tone and surprising length of hair that he is that's completely white along the clothing. His hair is almost impossible to keep, so he lets it stay that way naturally and let it simply hang, although on occasion he makes sure to go through the tedious process of taking care of it. He might as well have gained some levels in hair caretaking or vanity if that was a possible with how much time he had to spend with it, but he doesn't mind it. As it adds flavor to his character that he surprisingly liked after getting used to it.
P E R S O N A L I T Y
Some things about Marcelino perfectly transfers over to Pariah due to the ease of things, such as his outgoingness and quirky feel that he had around him that comes second nature to him. He even tends to be uncharacteristically flirtier compared to real life which may be due to the fact that he's anonymous in Pariah. However, even having anonymity can reveal things about people when they know nobody they know is watching them do it. For one, he's a savvy roleplayer and is dedicated to an idea once he settled his mind on pursuing it to the very end. This is something he wouldn't get caught dead with in real life, as Pariah is basically 'larping' or 'live action roleplaying' but within a different reality... His ability for roleplaying is translated well from his skills as a shy actor back in high school, which are unhindered within this virtual game.
B A C K G R O U N D
So Marcelino... He's a relatively normal college kid with his own problems like everyone else who's going through them and finding a way to overcome them. Currently living in the States, he can be called successful considering the average set by his peers around him as he is performing above them. However, as a human being, he has his own problems to take care of and whether he successful or not is up to him to try and overcome. But beyond that crude and small explanation of Marcelino in a nutshell, lets dive deeper shall well?
Like mentioned several times before this, Marcelino considers himself a socially anxious and conscious person in the real world. Caused by a sheltered childhood, which was used mostly to be much more mature than his age normally was. His father had left him, his oldest brother was hours away living with the grandparents, and his older sister grew up in be spiteful and rebellious of the fighting that went on between their parents. Then there was Marcelino's younger sister who was the baby of the family that grew up to have a learning disability which only added problems. To say the least, Marcelino's childhood wasn't a good time to be a kid as he had to learn how to take care of her sister early on while his Mother went to work and while the rest of his siblings were elsewhere. A good part of his livelihood was dedicated to her sister and embarrassment over his helicopter mom (from experience of her two older children who not doing so well in life) stunted his social growth, making him very reclusive. His friends were the nerdy ones and the weirdos where he connected to them easily with common interests.
However, as he grew up it was obvious that he didn't want to be like his other siblings and decided to work on himself. Despite the lazy and procrastinating nature he had, he began to try and improve himself in ways that nobody realized. He practiced 'emotions', 'gestures', and 'phrases' which would be used in socializing and it worked for the most part. He made friends easily by being 'friendly' and open to everyone that was introduced to him and increased his social circle much more compared to before. Of course, there were awkward things like relationships and love during his high school years that were cringeful but he managed. Sure, he was a bit of a hopeless romantic but he made do with what he was able to work with. Taking examples from other sociable people he knew, he simply painted more onto himself to develop a personality suitable for a good life. He had a girlfriend despite being attracted to men (self-consciousness again), had many fond memories with his friends, and graduated high school with good grades. By the time he had finished school, his siblings had fixed themselves despite the time they took, it was better than never. His older brother was a mechanic making good money, while his sister worked at a company which she rose through the ranks faster than ever. Even mother was back into a relationship (a bit rocky one) that proved to last since he was in middle school, so around eight years. But yes, family life was going well and his social life was doing great as well so check!
Life itself was great for Marcelino, he had a group of friends, a person he 'liked', and his family was doing well. Beyond the usual troubles of his anxiety about himself, his life was shaping up to be a good one that would click in with society like anyone. The next step was going to college, another worrisome milestone that marked a successful human being (in this century and the last) as it was impossible to get a good job without a degree unless you were lucky... Majoring in chemistry, the science industry was never going to die and thus was a viable area to pursue an occupation. Of course, there were things like being an Art or English major but they weren't reasonable ideas from what he firsthand experienced.
Fours years into college and he had gotten his bachelor's in chemistry which was great, so his academics was finished and completed. Having a job was tricky after recently getting his degree, but he did do odd jobs for the neighbors (yes, there are neighbors in the 22nd century) that have him some pocket change. however, he has been looking for a steady job that will be paying him that focuses in his desired area of chemistry. His social life was doing okay, his relationship with his girlfriend has been going steady and his friends are still mostly there still. However, recently he has been getting back into serious gaming when his older sister told him about Pariah as she was a serious computer and gaming nerd. With the money he had, he bought the game and fell for it hard as a means to escape boring reality. It a way, the experience was addicting as hours could be shoved into what limited time he had but with an unfilled schedule maybe perhaps he could give himself a break. Of course, he would still be a functioning citizen of society cause both he and his sister monitored each other so they didn't go off the map.
A T T R I B U T E S
R O L E
Ultility / DPS
A F F I L A T I O N
Queon
P R O F E S S I O N
Scribe: An occupation that mostly involved with recording books over and copying them for distribution, it is a production-type job where the recreation of texts of all kind are possible as you level you. Copying books slightly increase the skill of the topic that is covered. The higher the level of the book, the bigger bonus that is given to the scribe when they read and copy it which allows them to acquire levels of knowledge from a wide topic. Usually, this job is taken by those who utilize magic to create spells that can be activated through their use in the form of spell scrolls.
W E A P O N O F C H O I C E
Satchel of Containment: A bag that Marcelino has which simply holds things inside for him, being packed with a book or two before the rest being occupied by scrolls containing magic for emergencies should it be required. The bag is usually customized depending on the situation to allow what is carried inside to suit what comes ahead.
Staff of Drawing: A black and seemingly burnt staff that is wielded by Marcelino, it serves not only as a focus for magic that he usually performs but in larger instances of casting spells. The staff can be activated with energy that allows the bottom to act as if it was a marker and can write with magic in the air.
B E N C H M A R K S
Mind Over Matter: As a magic user, and no less a member of a member of the Quenon fraction, it not surprising that Marcelino's character lacks other notable physical achievements. This is a milestone is given to players who have a ridiculously low amount of levels in physical abilities compared to their mental abilities. It serves no other purpose than congratulating the player on focusing the majority of the levels that they have on their mental benchmarks. In short, it's a decoration simply to fill out those empty physical benchmarks slots as a Magic User.
Steady Caligraphy: Like drawing an arrow with a bow, the calligraphy of a book is just as important to keeping it cool and constant. Any book that had lopsided or mistakes with the writing is decreased in quality and without lined paper or fast drying ink, it's a common obstacle of most scribes who are PCs. With hours of focusing, raging, and training, it's impossible for Marcelino to draw a letter, symbol, or whatever wrong. This is a form of weapon training for people of the scholarly kind which can result in deadly proficiently with a pen at close range. A deadly and calculated art, if only they trained their bodies more would this technique be much fearsome. In it's tamed and docile form, its suitable for writing and drawing purposes. Other writing utensils can be used from what was used to gain this ability but suffer a penalty for it.
Combat Casting: Marcelino is adept at ignoring distractions and even when threatened with an attack, he will continue to muster through casting the entirety of his spell. Having a bonus when casting a spell when even being placed in a precarious position such as being pinned or grappled so long he's able to meet all requirements. This skill also allows much more damage to be taken before a spell can be interrupted by damage breaking Marcelino's concentration.
Book Creation: A skill gained through meticulously copying a book word by word so that it can be distributed, while assumably capable of doing it with a typewriter the technology of Pariah isn't advance enough. Thus, the books that Marcelino had copied through this skill sell for a good amount to wealthy NPCs who wish to buy such a rare resource of knowledge which is limited in this era. With a high level of this skill, he is able to publish books simply for enjoyment rather than knowledge itself. Publishing several books under a secret pen name which has gotten fairly good reception from NPCs. With adequate levels, it is also possible to branch off from this skill and create magic spells in scrolls instead of simply plain books. This is a requirement for the skill Magic Scroll Creation to determine the best materials to create scrolls and write them.
Lore Knowledge: A skill that Marcelino has which is used to represent one's understanding of the world Pariah farther than the basic descriptions. It covers things all significant things that a person living in the world of Pariah would know from being raised there such as major historical events, prominent people of power like royalty, and major cities or geographical points of interests. It can be raised normally by spending more time in Pariah simply and taking the time to read or listen to gain experience. As a scribe, though, Marcelino's level in this skill with the dozens and dozens of books that he has given the time to reading them has increased this skill significantly. He is capable of being a teacher in the world of Pariah should he ever chose to enter that vocation.
Magic Scroll Creation: A divergence from the Book Creation skill which focuses on literary text only, this skill focuses on making spells accessed through scrolls by anyone who is capable of doing so. It gives the user the ability to activate the stored spell instantly from the contents of the scroll. Michael himself for the first few levels focused on simply practicing how to properly make one before anything could be put on them. From further use, he focused on this skill and provided resources for many events that has leveled this skill even past his Book Creation skill.
While the limit of spells that can be written in scrolls are contained to medium powered spells and a single spell per scroll. They save a huge chunk of energy when prepared beforehand that can place the advantages in his hands. This skill boosts both Arcane Theory and Book Creation as well
Arcane Theory: A skill that Marcelino has that he would recommend to any other person if they wish to further understand how magic works in Pariah. On the base level, it allows him to understand the different forms that magic comes in Pariah and identify them when being used or been placed. Going in deeper, his level with this skill is augmented by his job as a Scribe which allows him to reach far and wide to pick books pertaining to this skill itself. The creation of spells is a possibility for Marcelino with this skill to be used on the spot so long as he is not in combat and has the requirements handled to do so. It is a requirement for the skill Magic Scroll Creation to transfer spells onto paper.
Enhanced Willpower: An ability that is built up upon more mental challenges that stack up on each other to build a wall of bricks when solidified. Pushing one's limits is generally a way to increase this skill in exchange for receiving physical lash back for doing such a thing. It is a skill suitable for all players, but in Marcelino's case, it is useful for surviving the world of Pariah without coffee when working on copying books. The skill also proves useful in increasing how much he can overexert his physical or mental abilities but face harsher whiplash should he do so.
R O U G H V I R T U A L H I S T O R Y
In the world of Pariah, Silvestre is known as the Magic Librarian for his status of having a library of books which he willingly lends so long as he trusts the person using them. Being a known trader of books from both NPCs and PCs that he will be the first to appraise them so long he gets to read it first. Many of the books that he lends are mostly those that he copied twice to sell once and keep the other for himself. If a request is given to him about copying something or creating a book, then he will offer a price for doing it depending on the difficulty of the task. His services are also hired as a creator of mobile spells, creating portable magic to be used when desired but charges a high price for the mental health it takes out of him and the cost of materials. As a Librarian books that he allows people to borrow are all commonly sought after due to the topics that they cover while quite common in rarity are high in demand. Most of his books are in his vault which prevents them being accessed for the most part unless someone asks to get inside there which needs his trust in the first place.
Made some simple edits after contemplating for way longer than it took to write:
Added Combat Casting
I'll accept the handicap of having two less physical benchmarks, like a typical mage who lacks physical prowess. So I'm fine with it.
“Do you really think you can stand against my blade? I crafted it myself you know.”
O V E R V I E W
N A M E
Alex Sharp
A V A T A R
Vulcan
A G E
23
G E N D E R
Male
V I S A G E
His visage in game changes little from his image in real life. The largest difference is that his brown hair in real life has become a deep black. Otherwise, as a result of his heavy physical regime in real life, he looks extraordinarily fit in game as well. He even has several scars running up and down his body from training that have also been made present in the game. There presence even in game is because he takes pride in the life he has lived up until this point.
However his hair color changing represents his independence and strong will as well as his self control and discipline. Due to the change in his hair, he decided to take on the color as his personal style. Black shirt, black pants, and a black coat are his trade mark. Thanks to his choice of color and profession choice, he has often heard himself being called the “Black Smith” as a nickname.
P E R S O N A L I T Y
He is independent and strong willed, relying on himself and his own strength for just about everything. However, it is not because he is introverted by nature. Rather, he is more of an extrovert and simply prefers to conquer by his own hand.
His dedication to becoming the greatest weapon smith was so strong that it even landed him decided that Draethir was the faction that could best support him. He is known for being one of the many pragmatic artisans within Draethir that value achievement above all else.
B A C K G R O U N D
When he was younger he played many games, but what he found most fascinating about the games was creating the strongest weapon to dominate. When he was mature enough his parents signed him up for martial arts and he became to busy to touch a game again. For years he trained in many styles ranging from western to eastern arts and even studied various martial weapon disciplines.
He finally found rest when he went to college to pursue a degree in World History. He still maintained his body everyday but he now had more time to relax since martial arts was no longer his focus. In order to use up his tremendous free time, he started getting back into gaming, reigniting the joy he once had. It didn't take him long to discover the realism that VRMMOs had to offer.
Eventually he came upon Pariah. With the versatility that it offered he decided to become a blacksmith. His independent nature and personal strength and knowledge in martial arts allowed him to take up the sword and acquire his own materials. Having no preconceptions about his own strength, he knows he must rely on others to help him to acquire the best materials to further his blacksmithing abilities. After finally completing college, he now has an enormous amount of time on his hands before he has to get a job. Using this new found freedom, he is going to become a blacksmith renowned throughout Pariah forevermore.
A T T R I B U T E S
R O L E
Mixed Melee DPS/Tank
A F F I L A T I O N
Draethir
P R O F E S S I O N
Weapons Blacksmith
W E A P O N O F C H O I C E
He mainly uses katanas, but he also is skilled in using his body as a method of attack.
B E N C H M A R K S
Hardened in Flame – As a blacksmith, he has spent long hours residing next to the heat of a forge. The flames have hardened his skin allowing him to more easily endure the heat. He has an increased resistance to all fire attribute effects, including magical fire.
Enhanced Strength – Hours of physical labor in a forge have increased his strength, allowing him to use heavier hammers in smithing as well as increasing his general combat strength.
Riposte – Rather then blocking an attack full on, he has learned to adjust the flow of his opponents attack with his blade. After catching his opponent off his guard, he executes a swift counter attack in response.
Diminutive Presence – Fighting alone for any length of time is dangerous to any fighter. After spending an extensive amount of time fighting solo, he has developed a presence that seems to be ignored by many enemies. This decreases his chances of finding himself surrounded in a fight.
Flashing Arc – Drawing his blade in one clean and destructive motion, he is able to deal massive damage before his sword is even fully drawn and before the enemy even knows what hit him.
Magic Weapon Smith – Smithing ordinary metal has its limits. He has learned to go beyond simple weapon smithing and has begun to incorporate magic into his weapons. It is very difficult to do, requiring many had to acquire materials and a lot of time to prepare to make a successful magic weapon. Alternatively, he can temporarily enchant a normal blade to do elemental damage. However, the amount of magical energy it requires to perform puts him at a significant risk if the fight was to last even a few seconds longer.
Field Dressing – After countless mistakes when fighting, he has learned how to patch himself up with minimal supplies allowing him to continue his quest for finding the best materials.
Dismantler's Hands – Killing monsters isn't all it takes to acquire the best materials. It takes a skilled hand to remove the items in pristine condition to be used in the forging process.
Ore Knowledge – Being a warrior blacksmith has its limits. Having to buy the ores he uses to craft with, he has developed a discerning eye for them. Their strengths, weaknesses, and he is even able to distinguish what ores are in a weapon.
Flashing Arc only works when he has his blade sheathed, so it can only work once per fight, unless he continuously resheathes his weapon during combat. He has no range capabilities what so ever, if he is caught in a ranged battle against multiple oppnents then he is surely done for. Crowd Control is similarly a huge weakness of his. He is also not specialized in one area other than blacksmithing weapons. In combat he could barely be called a tank and barely be called a DPS.
R O U G H V I R T U A L H I S T O R Y
He has spent most of his time developing his sword skills, collecting materials, and smithing all manner of weapons. His name is not well known throughout the game, but the symbol he trademarks his weapons with is well known itself. A falcon adorns all of his crafts and bears the legacy of his greatest works. Feeling that he has achieved the limits of what he can do on his own, he has been searching for people to fight more difficult monsters with.
Let me know how this is. I'm also having difficulty thinking of a 5th mental benchmark, any ideas?
No guns, its medieval fantasy with flavor— so use your imagination within reason. Feel free to describe it in detail.
But— but I thought I put down for an absence of guns in the weapons section? Tori why you do this?! I suppose I can fudge in a reason magical guns exist. But whyyyyyyy. I am going to pout now.
Pretty much my only comments on them. I'm generally "nah" right now, but I could be persuaded I guess.
<Snipped quote by Gowi> <Snipped quote by Gowi> Pretty much my only comments on them. I'm generally "nah" right now, but I could be persuaded I guess.
Well, seeing as I never actually submitted a character in Shine City, ofc you would have forgotten about me by now. Nevertheless, I was in the Discord chat :|
As for the guns, It's ok. I've been reading some VRMMO novels lately and I've had this itch for a while to RP one. I'll find a way to make a char.
I would still like to know if you read the posts I made before, and if you have any other problems or issues with my CS. I strive for perfection after all.
“Do you really think you can stand against my blade? I crafted it myself you know.”
O V E R V I E W
N A M E
Alex Sharp
A V A T A R
Vulcan
A G E
23
G E N D E R
Male
V I S A G E
His visage in game changes little from his image in real life. The largest difference is that his brown hair in real life has become a deep black. Otherwise, as a result of his heavy physical regime in real life, he looks extraordinarily fit in game as well. He even has several scars running up and down his body from training that have also been made present in the game. There presence even in game is because he takes pride in the life he has lived up until this point.
However his hair color changing represents his independence and strong will as well as his self control and discipline. Due to the change in his hair, he decided to take on the color as his personal style. Black shirt, black pants, and a black coat are his trade mark. Thanks to his choice of color and profession choice, he has often heard himself being called the “Black Smith” as a nickname.
P E R S O N A L I T Y
He is independent and strong willed, relying on himself and his own strength for just about everything. However, it is not because he is introverted by nature. Rather, he is more of an extrovert and simply prefers to conquer by his own hand.
His dedication to becoming the greatest weapon smith was so strong that it even landed him decided that Draethir was the faction that could best support him. He is known for being one of the many pragmatic artisans within Draethir that value achievement above all else.
B A C K G R O U N D
When he was younger he played many games, but what he found most fascinating about the games was creating the strongest weapon to dominate. When he was mature enough his parents signed him up for martial arts and he became too busy to touch a game again. For years he trained in many styles ranging from western to eastern arts and even studied various martial weapon disciplines.
He finally found rest when he went to college to pursue a degree in World History. He still maintained his body everyday but he now had more time to relax since martial arts was no longer his focus. In order to use up his tremendous free time, he started getting back into gaming, reigniting the joy he once had. It didn't take him long to discover the realism that VRMMOs had to offer.
Eventually he came upon Pariah. With the versatility that it offered he decided to become a blacksmith. His independent nature and personal strength and knowledge in martial arts allowed him to take up the sword and acquire his own materials. Having no preconceptions about his own strength, he knows he must rely on others to help him to acquire the best materials to further his blacksmithing abilities. After finally completing college, he now has an enormous amount of time on his hands before he has to get a job. Using this new found freedom, he is going to become a blacksmith renowned throughout Pariah forevermore.
A T T R I B U T E S
R O L E
DPS / Tank
A F F I L A T I O N
Draethir
P R O F E S S I O N
Blacksmith
W E A P O N O F C H O I C E
He mainly uses katanas, but he also is skilled in using his body as a method of attack.
B E N C H M A R K S
Hardened in Flame – As a blacksmith, he has spent long hours residing next to the heat of a forge. The flames have hardened his skin allowing him to more easily endure the heat. He has an increased resistance to all fire attribute effects, including magical fire.
Enhanced Strength – Hours of physical labor in a forge have increased his strength, allowing him to use heavier hammers in smithing as well as increasing his general combat strength.
Riposte – Rather then blocking an attack full on, he has learned to adjust the flow of his opponents attack with his blade. After catching his opponent off his guard, he executes a swift counter attack in response.
Diminutive Presence – Fighting alone for any length of time is dangerous to any fighter. After spending an extensive amount of time fighting solo, he has developed a presence that seems to be ignored by many enemies. This decreases his chances of finding himself surrounded in a fight.
Flashing Arc – Drawing his blade in one clean and destructive motion, he is able to deal massive damage before his sword is even fully drawn and before the enemy even knows what hit him.
Magic Weapon Smith – Smithing ordinary metal has its limits. He has learned to go beyond simple weapon smithing and has begun to incorporate magic into his weapons. It is very difficult to do, requiring many had to acquire materials and a lot of time to prepare to make a successful magic weapon. Alternatively, he can temporarily enchant a normal blade to do elemental damage. However, the amount of magical energy it requires to perform puts him at a significant risk if the fight was to last even a few seconds longer.
Field Dressing – After countless mistakes when fighting, he has learned how to patch himself up with minimal supplies allowing him to continue his quest for finding the best materials.
Dismantler's Hands – Killing monsters isn't all it takes to acquire the best materials. It takes a skilled hand to remove the items in pristine condition to be used in the forging process.
Ore Knowledge – Being a warrior blacksmith has its limits. Having to buy the ores he uses to craft with, he has developed a discerning eye for them. Their strengths, weaknesses, and he is even able to distinguish what ores are in a weapon.
Flashing Arc only works when he has his blade sheathed, so it can only work once per fight, unless he continuously resheathes his weapon during combat. He has no range capabilities what so ever, if he is caught in a ranged battle against multiple oppnents then he is surely done for. Crowd Control is similarly a huge weakness of his. He is also not specialized in one area other than blacksmithing weapons. In combat he could barely be called a tank and barely be called a DPS.
R O U G H V I R T U A L H I S T O R Y
He has spent most of his time developing his sword skills, collecting materials, and smithing all manner of weapons. His name is not well known throughout the game, but the symbol he trademarks his weapons with is well known itself. A falcon adorns all of his crafts and bears the legacy of his greatest works. Feeling that he has achieved the limits of what he can do on his own, he has been searching for people to fight more difficult monsters with.
Alright— here we go. Outside of reminding me of Seiken no Blacksmith's Luke Ainsworth there are no real initial thoughts or references I can make. Vulcan’s general information answers what I ask for and it leaves only real section to review.
Benchmarks: It seems you want help with another mental one, which will be not fairly difficult given your relatively balanced character. For a variety of recommendations you can further define him with mental benchmarks such as Blacksmithing (in general, since he would have to learn it to get to the point as a magicsmith). You could have more combat-oriented mental skills like Field Repair proficiencies, or you can even go into something like Weapon Focus: Katana.
So it’s dandy. It’s good. It’s accepted.
Just one last thing.
I am wary with katanas for a variety of reasons, but I am not denying them outright as they are sensible and I want weapons to be diverse. Plus you've come with a cool concept. So you get to have fun.
I see nothing wrong with your edits you made— so you’re fine.
I guess the only thing I can tell you right now is to calm down, I make a variety of jokes to ease things not make people have a neurotic meltdown so the best thing to keep in mind is unless I’m writing something serious and letting you know as a GM call you are fine. Still it is good to keep in mind the rules you have agreed to recognize and follow upon applying for a character, and one of those is post content.
I know several people who don’t have English as their original language and I’m fairly accommodating on those who incidently make a typo here and there or don’t format their posts like a clusterfuck. My preferences (don’t write dialogue in the middle of a paragraph, etc.) won’t really be a factor. I might make quips of “hit the enter button more” but they are nothing but quips.
Keep in mind my posts will not be the expectations everyone is beholden to— even in Avalon Academy I didn’t ask everyone to post on par with opening post. Though reading that RP's OOC is a good measure of what makes me happy in terms of content; but again, it is no means a quantifier or post requirement. Remember all I said in Section II of the Rules is this:
The writing level I expect is somewhere around medium expectations (high school-level equivalent). This means comprehensive understanding of basic grammar and spelling is expected, characterization is important, narrative is important, and detail behind those are appreciated. I’d want maybe two paragraphs as a rule, though if it fits a post that there is enough to respond to and react with in one paragraph than that’s fine, but one-liner’s will definitely be off-base. Keep with the fluidity and enjoy yourself; though quality posts don’t have to be textbooks and I severely doubt I will require a “novel”-esque post.
A good guideline is this quotation that I adhere to for my own posts:
“Roleplaying should focus on developing interesting and complex characters that become part of plot-lines which catch the imagination and inspire the writer behind them to exercise creativity. It is mature, humorous, imaginative, tragic, terrifying, passionate, and rife with descriptive language and characters with real personality and relatable cares. Quality posting is far better than needless novels, yet one should never neglect detail when one feels the need. However, while word and paragraph requirements ought to be unnecessary, single paragraphs cannot contain enough detail to suffice.”
With that said, I will not be putting posts under extreme analysis nor will I be inciting a “word count”. So just use your personal judgment and we’ll be awesome.
The posts you showed me make me want to dust my proofreading hat off (due to blobbing, pet peeves of dialogue formatting, etc) but they seem fine enough. Do not stress yourself. The key is to have fun and be proud of what stories we're telling.
Well, as I said, they're perfectly fine and organized for me. I don't usually write "like a blob" as you said, cramping everything together, but I also think that excessive formatting is both too tiring and unnecessary.
Typos are very rare, since I actually DO get ashamed when I write something wrong. Be it only because I wasn't paying attention or because I was writing them from my cellphone.
People often have different standards regarding to post formatting and different writing styles. I don't think there is anything wrong with my posts. Especially due to the fact that I tend to separate each sentence that a character say, so its easier to read the dialog itself.
I tend to organize every post in a way so its easier to read the dialog between two characters. Separating each sentence, followed by the character's thoughts behind the sentence or any specific action performed by it following the said sentence.
I can use a formal, more correct and traditional formatting if you want. You just have to tell me to do so. I started doing so because many people used to complain about my posts and their formatting when I started writing on the "Free Roleplay" forum. After some time, I started to organize my posts like that so they wouldn't get too cramped and tiring to read (the way they are organized you can straight up ignore most things directly after my character's answers (mainly my character thoughts & things like that.) and still understand what's happening.
PS: don't misunderstand the way I'm writing. I'm not mad or anything, writing like this is just a bad habit of mine (using formal words etc.)
If what you’re asking is what can you do to make things easier to read, I suppose I can answer that— but do not take the following assessment as a harsh critique, because it isn’t one.
The biggest thing to remember about writing is to keep things concise, cohesive, and fluid. In the sense of one of the posts you gave as generic examples, I’ll reformat it so you can see what I am sort of talking about. This means be consistent in your tense and get across your idea so it is accessible to read without confusion or contradiction. Ultimately the biggest thing to keep in mind is to know when to break your paragraphs and when to not— for example, a lot of things in the following example run through motions and then the line break is only done once instead of twice which results in a condensing that isn’t necessary when both ideas are two different actions, reflections, or points.
Emmerich Jaeger
"I suppose it is only fair that you should know my name after sharing your own, but that doesn't make us friends... Understand? It's Avalon, Avalon Shire."
"Mein fraulein..." He said, while his rapier slashed another gnome, spilling some of his blood on her face.
"Vee are already more zan zat, and you know it." He said, gently wiping the blood of her face.
"Its hard to find someone who you can fight like zis, trust bos your mind and body, trust on zeir abilities, open yourself to zem." He continued, as he held her closer to him.
"In such a short time, vee not only know how each ozer sinks, but how vee vill move or act." As he continued talking, the dance started to get even more complex, with graceful circular movements as Emmerich held Avalon closer to him, without taking his eyes off her, his presence was intoxicating, she could feel his eyes on hers, behind the mask.
"Zee bond zat connect us vas forged by zee fire of zee fight, and not by words alone. You, mein liebling, is zee only hunter here who I vould trust bos my life and body. Mein schatz, you are zee only one here zat I vould blindly trust."
"So, no... Vee are not friends. If friends did vat vee are doink right now, zey vould be dead by zeir own hands." He said, as with a flicker of his hands, his blade coiled around them, enveloping them in a deadly spiral, deflecting the incoming blows the nearby gnomes threw at them.
"Avalon, mein perle..." He said, grabbing her waist and spinning her around, her scythe slicing the nearby gnomes.
"Mein vonderful schatz." He said as he finished their dance, just as the great wolf started barking to a wounded hunter
"Leo?"
She called for it.
"Zis night vas by far zee most enjoyable night I had in my entire night." He said, as he slowly and gently let go of her hands, walking away.
"THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE, KILL THE LINCHPIN!"
"If you decide to meet me again, don't be konfused or alarmed. I promise I vill tell you mein sekrets."
"You heard him hunters! The one in the middle!"
"For now, farevell, beautiful Avalon." Emmerich said with a performance bow, formally finishing his dance, jumping back as a firebomb exploded near him, making him disappear in the middle of the fire.
As the bomb exploded, Emmerich was caught by surprise as he fell in the middle of the fire.
"Ach... Zat vas unfortunate..." He mumbled to himself whilst quickly twisting his body to get out of the flames, quickly putting the fire out with his right hand burning.
Turning his face to look where the other hunters pointed, he saw nothing, just a bunch of gnomes on fire.
"Vere is..." He said as he got interrupted by a loud screech. Avalon's wolf started to bark and snarl furiously.
Emmerich looked to the wounded hunter just in time to hear it and witness them changing into a creature in front of his eyes.
"The girl who tosses flames... she thinks to underestimate us. I want her dead."
Emmerich grabbed his crossbow, using both hands to aim it, wielding the rapier under it. He was a good distance away from the hunter that was transforming itself on a creature. This one wasn't just a common gnome. Apparently this one could change bodies to the ones who were wounded.
Letting out a powerful shot, he aimed to the creature's head, trying to kill it before the transformation was complete.
The unique, golden bolt flew through the battlefield, whistling in the creature's direction.
