@Sergeant

Is it finished? Because if so, I’m not sure why your jutsu list isn’t completed or skillset isn’t detailed?

@Sergeant

Is it finished? Because if so, I’m not sure why your jutsu list isn’t completed or skillset isn’t detailed?

Mainly because he only knows the academy techniques... and that's it. Unless you want me to compile a complete list of every singly move you have use with a bo staff.... which is not something I'd enjoy doing. There's no special skills he's got anyways in bo staff fighting. He wont learn those until he's older. So I didn't think them of any consequence.

So what you are telling me is you are okay with having no techniques outside of those learned at the academy? This is of course fine, but I just need confirmation therein.

Yeah. Does that mean I'm out? Lol.

Yeah. Does that mean I'm out? Lol.

No, if a player wants to make a character that is more or less genin-rank Sakura without her Chakra Control (or Intellect) that is completely acceptable. I just have to make sure that is what you want to do!

Ryo will handle your review, and I'll add any notes to it after the fact.

Done

Fujioji Nakazono [+]

F U J I O J I

“ACE!”

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NAME

Fujioji Nakazono

ALIAS

Naka or Stick

GENDER

Male

AGE

11

ORIGIN

Konohagakure

RANK

Genin

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APPEARANCE

Nakazono is of average height and weight for his age. He is rather slender and could be described as effeminate even though he doesn't act like it. Nakazono has pale skin and blue eyes. Like all young boys in his clan, Nakazono has never cut most black hair. The longest part is currently down to his butt and to quote him "an absolute pain". The bangs and shorter (about shoulder length hair around his face) is more tolerable and less at the same time because it never stays tied up like it's supposed to. He also has his ears pierced.

For his age Nakazono isn't small. He appears to be about twelve when in fact he is eleven. It doesn't help that because of his clan traditions most people mistake him for a girl either. At least when he's at school he's allowed to wear clothing that isn't specific to girls. Though his formal Fujioji outfit is. Therefore most of time he's seen in just a plain kimono.

PERSONALITY & MOTIVATIONS

Nakazono is the youngest child of four. And he happens to be the least talented. Because of this he has mainly stopped trying his best. He's just kind of floating through school. He used to care, but no matter how hard he tried he could never keep up with his older siblings. Which lead to him deciding if he couldn't make his parents happy he'd stop trying. At least then they'd have something to complain about. With this attitude Nakazono sometimes ditches class to go do whatever stuck his fancy that day (usually reading).

Nakazono really doesn't want to be a ninja. He's thought about running off and hiding forever in a book store or library but he's never done it. It's mainly because he cannot bring himself to disappoint his parents even more than he has despite all of his protestations that he doesn't care. Which is central to Nakazono's character. He likes to pretend that nothing matters to him when in truth everything seems to matter.

CLAN HISTORY

The Fujioji clan isn't a big clan. A select few families joined Konohagakure at the founding in hopes of stability. Before that the Fujioji's were a wandering clan. In fact the majority of the clan still are known to be wanderers and have not settled in any one village. Because of their nomadic lifestyle their traditions are the most important thing to them.

The main tradition passed down from parent to child is their fighting techniques. The Fujioji clan uses a bo staff to fight. They have no unique nin- or genjutsu's to the clan name. Only their skill with a staff. Such skill some of their members have their name is closely tied to the staff they use. Sometimes it's even referred to as a Fujioji Staff since all staves used by the clan are made handmade by the clan. No one who is not a Fujioji is allowed to use the staff. If someone is known to be using one having procured it somehow, a Fujioji will be honored bound to retrieve it. This is mostly because a Fujioji staff isn't a normal bo staff.

A Fujioji staff is similar to a bo staff in that it is about 1.8 meters in length and up to 15 meters in circumference. It is made from a supple white oak. It's tapered from the middle so that it's thinner at the ends. The Fujioji staff ends are octagon in shape. Inlet in the supple wood is iron. Usually in a complicated design in order to allow the wood to maintain it's flexibility and durability. The secrets of the Fujioji staves are found in these designs. Some are hidden compartments for various ninja tools such as poisons and knives.

Each Fujioji staff is specifically crafted for the user. clan members such as Nakazono have plain dyed bo staves. They are for learning how to use the weapon and if lost, it is nothing to cause shame upon the owner. For they are just normal bo staves. It isn't until the clan member reaches the age of fourteen that they are given their first true staff. The design is tailored to the user and reflects their status in the clan and their personal history. It is a serious breach of honor to ruin or lose a staff.

Apart from their staves the Fujioji clan has a very rich tradition for raising their children. No child, male or female, can cut their hair apart from the prescribed haircut. Tradition holds that the first Fujioji, a woman, cut her hair like that and that's the way it has been ever since. Once a child reaches the age of majority they will cut off their long tail of hair to make everything even with their shoulders. All children are also dressed the same in traditional female clothing. Though in Konohagakure they are allowed to wear nondescript kimonos while not in the clan's buildings.

When a child reaches what they believe to be the age of majority they must prove themselves. In the clan it is called The Proving. It's a closely guarded test where the child must fight their parent. If they fail to prove they have sufficient skills, no matter their age, they are not considered adults. A waiting period of usually half a season is observed before a child may try again. If a child does not challenge their parents for a proving they are cast out of the clan and into the wild. They are given nothing but a plain bo staff and told to return in a month. If they never return the child is considered dead. The same holds if the child returns too soon. However if the child returns on time they are considered an adult and inducted back into the clan.

The traditional uniform of the Fujioji clan is a sleeveless black kimono with a gold Uraeri. There is a dark blue blue obi. The sleeves are threaded with gold string to hold them on over the biceps and below the shoulder joint. All Fujioni clan members have pierced ears and with the traditional uniform they wear a tassel with a golden ball attached. The color of the tassels is up to the individual and their status in the clan. Young children are given a burgundy color. Those of age range from Blue to black depending on their skill with their staff.

One of things that make the Fujioji clan different from most others is their matriarchy. A set of three Elders lead the clan in important matters. They are the decendants of the three original women who decided to settle in Konohagakure. The heads of the clan are all female. They also expect their females to be just as good of fighters as the men. Therefore women are not given any quarter in training nor is it expected. Which has caused a few clashes with the Academy because the Fujioji clan doesn't view some of the curriculum (such as flower arrangement) as necessary.

PERSONAL HISTORY

Nakazono was a child conceived from emotion. After the terrible battle at Konohagakure and the loss of so many people, his mother sought what physical comfort she could. And the result was Nakazono. An unplanned but not unwelcome child. For his mother it was reason to remain at home for a long while. Even his father enjoyed having a baby around once more. His brother, Kageteru didn't much care for Nakazono having been the youngest and therefore the most spoiled child. Or had been. After his dethroning by Nakazono he's always held a sort of grudge. His two eldest siblings were wrapped up with their their training and had no time for a baby.

Nakazono's life was set for him from as far back as he could remember. He was given his first bo staff about the same time he started walking. By the time he was four, maybe five, he was expected to be able to use it. It was also about the same time that Nakazono realized he was not the most coordinated and therefore good fighter. Before this point Nakazono had happy memories of his parents. But this was a changing point in his life. Suddenly from this point nothing ever seemed good enough. It was always "Kageteru mastered that when he was your age" "Nagu never had a problem with that move" or "Even Moroari could fail to teach you how not to trip over nothing".

His only saving grace was his Aunt Sanako. When he stayed late in the practice grounds, or tried to hide his bruises from the staff, she was always there. With a soft word or touch she had the power to keep him from drowning in the unreachable expectations of his family. She was the one who gave him hope that he wasn't completely useless. She was the one who smuggled his nonsense scrolls about completely fictional people and places. She was the one who helped him with his drills.

Aunt Sanako was the only reason Nakazono still remains at the Academy and is somehow going to be a Genin. Without her support (and lets face it, her disappointment in his lack of motivation in school) he never would have made it this far. He wants to do better by her, but he can't bring himself to do so. He fears deep down if he starts trying again and fails he wont be able to live with himself.

This deep, dark fear keeps Nakazono from really making friends at the academy. He smiles, laughs and generally gets along with the other students, but he doesn't invest himself in the relationships. He doesn't hang out after school unless it's coursework related. Because of this he knows lots of people but no one he would call friend and he's sure they all would agree.

INFLUENCE & RELATIONS

Clan [+]

• Grandfather (Mother's)- Fujioji Nobuuchi- 63- Nobuuchi is your stereotypical grumpy old man. According to the family he used to be really happy and kind. But after his wife died he changed completely.
• Grandmother (Mother's)- Fujioji Masako- Deceased- Masako passed away in 101CE with her grandson Koreshige. She was fifty years old. Even though she was older it was said she fought like she was young woman again. It's not known how she died but her body was found after the fighting was over next to her broken staff.
• Grandfather (Father's)- Fujioji Norihiro- 74- Norihiro is a stern man. As Yaya's husband he takes their position in the clan very seriously and is very concerned about the clan's honor.
• Grandmother (Father's)- Fujioji Yaya- 71- Yaya is one of the elders of the Fujioji clan. She sits on the small council that governs their particular branch. She's already named Nakazono's sister, Nagu, her successor.
• Father- Fujioji Kanemoto- 51- Kanemoto acts much like his father; Stern and kind of harsh at times. He's really only soft around his wife Moku.
• Mother- Fujioji Moku- 42- Moku is often distant. She spends a lot of time off on missions or training. When she's home she spends most of her time with her husband.
• Eldest Brother- Fujioji Moroari- 21- Moroari is a work-a-holic. He's yet to be married and doesn't seem to be inclined to do so. Instead he seems to be married to his work.
• Older Sister- Fujioji Nagu- 18- Nagu is the most skilled sibling Nakazono has. She is also the one under the most pressure. Because of this nothing she does nor her family does is ever good enough.
• Older Brother- Fujioji Kageteru- 16- Kageteru is much like his older brother. He just passed his Proving and is eager to make a name for himself. He often daydreams about life outside Konohagakure and sometimes wishes to join the wandering Fujioji clan.
• Aunt (Mother's Sister)- Fujioji Tsuneno- Deceased- Tsuneno was Nakazono's mother's triplet. She was twenty one when she passed in the year 91CE. When Konohagakure joined the Great Shinobi war she was one of the ninja's on the front lines with her other two sisters. She died defending Sunagakure along with Fuku.
• Aunt (Mother's Sister)- Fujioji Fuku- Deceased- Fuku was Nakazono's mother's triplet. She was twenty one when she passed in the year 91CE. When Konohagakure joined the Great Shinobi war she was one of the ninja's on the front lines with her other two sisters. She died defending Sunagakure along with Tsuneno.
• Uncle (Father's Brother)- Fujioji Narihide- 54- Narihide is the only non-fighter in Nakazono's family. Instead Narihide is a staff maker and a very good one at that. He lost his leg below the knee in 101CE.
• Aunt (Father's sister-in-law)- Fujioji San- 49- San is a bright happy woman. She enjoys drawing more than fighting. However that isn't to say she isn't very skilled with her staff like most Fujioji's.
• Cousin- Fujioji Koreshige- Deceased- Koreshige died in 101CE. He had been a Jounin defending Konohagakure when the war came to their doorstep. According to the clan Koreshige died a hero not only saving Nakazono but many other Fujiojis as well. He's still hailed as a hero to this day. He was only 19 when he was killed.
• Cousin- Fujioji Masa- 28- Masa is married to Fujioji Ama and have two young children. The eldest, Fujioji Ichime, is one year younger than Nakazono. Both of them attend the academy together. However neither of them have much to do with each other due to their being in different classes.
• Uncle (Father's brother-in-law)- Fujioji Tsunenobu- 51- Tsunenobu is thrilled with his brother (Nakazono's father) and wants nothing to do with them due to circumstances when the two were younger.
• Aunt (Father's Sister)- Fujioji Sanako- 48- Sanako is the only family member that Nakazono gets along with. She's the only one who doesn't put pressure on him to be the best. But she doesn't condone his laziness either. She just wants him to be himself.
• Cousin- Fujioji Shigeteru- 30- Much like his father, Shigeteru, also has nothing to do with Nakazono's family. They only see each other at clan meetings. He's married to Fujioji Suko and has one child: Fujioji Michiie who is twelve.
• Cousin- Fujioji Mego- 27- Mego is married to Fujioji Nakakane, a woman who used to be part of the wandering clan. She only settled in Konohagakure a few years ago. They have two children. One is seven and the other is five.
• Cousin- Fujioji Junjii- 24- Junjii is engaged to Fujioji Some. Some is their to Fujioji Gen, another of the clan Elders.

Academy/Village [+]

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CHAKRA NATURE

Fire

SPECIAL TRAITS

Fujioji clan uses a bo staff along with their ninjustsus.

FOCUS & SKILLS

Nakazono leans towards taijustsu since his ninjutsu isn't very good.

EQUIPMENT & INVENTORY

Bo Staff
General ninja tools (shuriken and kunai, etc)

JUTSU

S Rank [+]

N/A

A Rank [+]

N/A

B Rank [+]

■

C Rank [+]

■
■

D Rank [+]

■
■
■

E Rank [+]

Academy Techniques

CUSTOM JUTSU

Justu Name [+]

Name

Text.

Rank

Text.

Range

Text.

Description

Text.

Alright, quick and dirty review time (frankly, I don't have too many non-nitpicky complaints, and the one legit grievance has already been addressed)

• _{There's something hilarious about stating that the Fujioji aren't a huge clan, then having an absolutely massive family relations section.}
• _{Minor note about Fujioji coming of age stuff: Sure, the whole "test your skill against your parents" thing is all well and good. But, and maybe this is just me, the whole casting out bit strikes me as a bit odd. From my view, it seems as if it's supposed to be some sort of punishment, but then it seems to circle back around into being an alternate way of "advancing, if you will, in the clan. Hell, I'dd almost be inclined to think the whole pseudo Vision Quest deal would be the default rite of passage. All that being said, traditions in ninja clans are weird, so this isn't even all that bad.}
• _{Another genin with a family who expects way too much out of him. Nakazono's gonna fit right in with all the other balls of parental baggage.}
• _{Referring to Aunt Sanako in the past tense strikes me as strange, since it would imply to me that she's dead. Again, nitpicking on my part, but I figured it should be pointed out since she's, well, not dead.}
• _{About the only problem I have with his personal history is the idea that his affected laziness and fear of failure would prevent him from making friends. In fact, one would think that making friends within his peer group would be the best remedy to his particular situation. Aunt Sanako can't be there to offer words of encouragement all the time, right?}

Other than that, it's just some grammatical stuff that it'd be nice if you kept mind of when posting IC. If @Sloth or @Gowi want to weigh in on anything extra, that'd be fine and dandy too. You've basically got a Yes from me.

@Sergeant


_{◈ I pretty much agree with Ryo’s assessment, but I do have my own points as I will detail in subsequent bullets.
◈ I fixed minor formatting bits, because I do that.
◈ You seem to contradict yourself when describing Nakazono’s appearance; he’s “average height and weight” yet “isn’t small”. It’s a minor nitpick, but consistency helps in the character creation process.
◈ Whilst I agree with Ryo here (and personally find a whole clan of traps odd, but anime, so it’s whatever), I can appreciate the extensive amount of work put into your clan history; such lengths I don’t know if I would even go to. Going back to Ryo’s comment however, I do think some adjustments to your rites should be done but for the most part I think it’s just me being pedantic in my review. But then again you did want an extensive review.
◈ “Even Moroari could fail to teach you how not to trip over nothing.” — This particular mention made me laugh, good statement of his inadequacies and familial relations.
◈ You have succeeded about making a small less noteworthy clan of traps seem large and relevant through the extensive description of Nakazono’s immediate and extended family. I think it could be formatted a bit better with spacing and the fat trimmed, but I’m also of the belief that no information is irrelevant information so I’m compelled to find a way to work this in on the GM front.
◈ On that front, I’d also like to see some mentions of the academy students who obviously were present— Fukushu, Tensai, Mikoto, Mitsuko. Understand his perspective on his peers would be great.
◈ I feel like despite Nakazono being remarkably unremarkable you could describe and detail his skillset with a bit more detail.
◈ Despite us going over his lack of noteworthy techniques— I feel like you could mention any techniques unique to him in the Bukijutsu department, specifically in bojutsu. If you intend to really center yourself around the Fujioji’s mastery in this weapon art I feel like we should not only more detail about it but you should at least have some basic techniques (ala custom jutsu) made?
◈ Once you have considered and adapted this, I think I could accept you with little issue.}

Perhaps @Sloth has notes as well.

_{There's something hilarious about stating that the Fujioji aren't a huge clan, then having an absolutely massive family relations section.}

_{◈ You have succeeded about making a small less noteworthy clan of traps seem large and relevant through the extensive description of Nakazono’s immediate and extended family.}

I'm quite frankly stumped on how you both came to the conclusion his clan is large. I listed about 20 people in his immediate family. If you'd take out those who are dead there're 16. Since the are three families in the Fujioji clan we can assume their numbers would be about the same which brings the number to ~ 60 if we wanted some wiggle room. Maybe 100 if you really wanted more.

That's a pretty small clan especially compared to some clans like the Uchihas. Who probably number twice that. Maybe even three times especially if you're counting those without the bloodline (those who married in, etc).

In a town as large as Konohagakure they probably wouldn't even make up 1% of the population. Keep in mind it takes about 160 people to maintain a stable population without breeding in generic birth defects. The number can be fewer if you don't care about the purity of your bloodline and intermix with other clans.

And as for them being important.... I'm not sure how I might have given you that idea because they have no real standing in policy making or any decisions outside of their own clan. I might have to add in that they're more solitary as a clan, they like to keep to themselves. Sure, they're important to themselves but isn't every family?

Anyways. I'll get started on the edits you guys want.

@Sergeant I don't speak for @Gowi (though I reckon he probably is of the same mind here), but the comments on the clan size were basically just light ribbing. More or less a comment on the fact that the family tree you've outlined is bigger than most people would be bothered to put to page. That's not a bad thing by any means, though.

This was a rambly way of saying: Lighten up juuuust a smidge.

@Gowi@RyoRyoRyoken@SlothOkay, here's my second go-round of this sheet. Is it any better?

@Sergeant I don't speak for @Gowi (though I reckon he probably is of the same mind here), but the comments on the clan size were basically just light ribbing. More or less a comment on the fact that the family tree you've outlined is bigger than most people would be bothered to put to page. That's not a bad thing by any means, though.

This was a rambly way of saying: Lighten up juuuust a smidge.

As a general observation: I was not upset, just really confused. I added the rest of it as a comparison because I just could not wrap my head around the concept that my clan was large. Lol.

Anyways, if it was just ribbing I can understand that.

Is it bad if I'm posting here just so I can get that green dash next to this thread? Oh, and my character sheet is coming along rather well, though I still have quite a bit left to go.

@Sergeant

Whilst clans are older than the one-hundred and twelve years of the current period (fukugen), you do have to consider the fact that the preceding era (konton) was pretty much the founding of shinobi clans though how long that era was I left ambiguous for a few valid reasons. I wasn’t saying your clan is unrealistically large, by the way, just that you’ve defined familial members more extensively than any of the GMs have— a fact that made me smirk at the irony of it all.

It was not an elaborate criticism but rather a neutral comment.

Done with the sheet~

Is it bad if I'm posting here just so I can get that green dash next to this thread? Oh, and my character sheet is coming along rather well, though I still have quite a bit left to go.

this.

Ryuuga, Tsume [+]

Tsume Ryuuga

"Don't look down on me, or else I'll make sure it's the last thing you ever do.”

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NAME

Ryuuga Tsume

ALIAS

N/A

GENDER

Female

AGE

12

ORIGIN

Konohagakure

RANK

Genin

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APPEARANCE

Tsume is tall for her age, as well as a bit more ‘developed’ as well, due to the fact that Ryuuga seem to mature somewhat faster than most other people, so while she 12 years of age, her body is closer to the 13/14 mark. She often wears loose, form-fitting clothes if she can help it, liking the option of being able to fight in whatever she’s currently wearing at any moment. As for looks, she’s been told on occasion that, when she’s not trying to pick fights or cause trouble, she looks rather pretty, though in truth she doesn’t really care much for her looks at the moment.

PERSONALITY & MOTIVATIONS

Tsume is about as stubborn and confrontational as they come despite, or perhaps because, of her weak body. While most would think that she'd try to stay low and keep from getting into tricky or stressful situations, she constantly puts herself into the business of others, attacking bullies and challenging stronger students in class whenever she can. Despite her need for medications an treatments, she remains about as cheerful as possible about life, being an optimist at heart that is convinced that everything works out in the end, no matter how rough things seem at the moment.

Despite her cheery, if brash, personality, few people can hold quite as much of a grudge as she can. Even if the offense is small, she'll likely hold it against the person in question for quite sometime before she let's it go, if she ever lets it go. It's often best not to cross her, cause while her body restricts her ability to fight, she has a devious mind and often pulls pranks and tricks on those who've manged to upset her in some way.

CLAN HISTORY

The Ryuuga Clan is an ancient clan, old as any of the other greats, yet steep in some amount of mystery and intrigue to outsiders. They appeared during the latter half of the Warring States Era, but only really came on the scene during the battles that took places between clans during the aftermath of the ‘kage decree’ and the formation of Kohonhagakure. They set about with great ferocity to conquer and absorb lesser clans into their own, and with great success as their forces, led by Ryuuzaki Ryuuga, maintained a dominating force on many battlefields, using both the raw strength of their shinobi and brilliant tactics to make village after village fall before them.

However, when the Hokage came to them with a deal, however, the clan head accepted without a struggle, though he did negotiate some concession so that his clan could remain some level of independence as a whole. When asked about this decision by his peers, Ryuuzaki said that it was a simple numbers game. Konohagakure not only had more clans under it’s belt at that time, but also had many that with special skills and abilities that the Ryuuga couldn’t counter on their own. To resist the peace offering that was offered would only be prolonging the inevitable, so he’d rather negotiate.

After that, the clan has remained a constant, if little understood, member of the Leaf. Where they shone the brightest was in the War against the Land of Iron where Kanzaki Ryuuga led many Samurai to the grave using various baiting tactics and false retreats to position his foes in unfavorable conditions, then crushing them in one fell swoop.

When the Great War got into full swing, the Ryuuga clan was usually present in every battle that was fought, having pushed hard to have their shinobi out fighting the good fight. However, during the Day of Fallen Leaves, a good deal of the clan, as many others, were wiped out in the fighting, leaving many with naught to come back to but ashes and ruin. Ever since that day, the Ryuuga clan swore bloody vengeance against Iwagakure, every shinobi they taking special car to eradicate the hated enemy from the battlefield entirely whenever they got the chance to. This hatred lingered on past the signing of the treaty, as many Ryuuga had lost friends and family in that attack, and feel as if they were denied their vengeance by this peace. While as a whole, the clan accepts the terms, any missing-nin from Iwa that finds themselves in a Ryuuga’s custody will find themselves in for a very bad time.

As of the present day, the Ryuuga are trying to better integrate with the rest of the village, as they have been acting like mostly a separate but loyal entity to Konoha since their inception, and while traditionalist don’t find a problem with this, many of them were killed in the war, leaving only the youth behind to take positions of clout and influence policy. The current clan head, Onigawa Ryuuga, had made a mandate so that the children of their clan could now join the academy proper, instead of being trained inside their compound as has been the case till now, as well as having their shinobi form up in teams with outsiders more frequently than has occurred in the past.

PERSONAL HISTORY

Tsume was, in plain terms, a mistake and embarrassment to her family. The Ryuuga are a proud clan of warriors, and thus praise strength and combat utility above all else. Her father, Jin Ryuuga, was a golden boy in that regard, a powerful and experienced Jonin that was able to wield his element with a mastery that was simply terrifying, and his first daughter, Akane, seemed to have inherited her father's skill. However, when his wife bore another child near the end of the great war, there was little cause for celebration. Instead of another proud example of the Ryuuga bloodline, he was greeted with a sickly weak child that needed even more attention then care then a regular infant to see them through those first few years.

Tsume's early childhood was filled with trips to the Konohagakure Hospital, her lungs and body weak and in need of constant care and medications to keep her alive. The family was often told that the child would be lucky to make it to 8 years old, if that, and while her mother and sister ferociously worked to make sure that the young girl lived, Jin simply clicked his teeth in disdain at the weakness before him, of the weakness being shown by his own flesh and blood. Those first 3 years of life marked a significant worsening of the family relationships as Akane and Akari both fought with Jin over his lack of care for his own daughter.

As life went on, Tsume's health improved enough that she no longer walked a tight-rope between life and death, though she still needed to receive treatments so that she could keep it that way. As she grew older, however, she also grew aware of the utter disdain her father seemed to have for her, how he seemed to do everything he could to ignore her existence. Whuke her mother and sister tried to convince her that she didn't need his approval, she still strove for it. Not because she felt she needed it, but so that she could prove him, and others naysayers within the clan, that she was every bit the Ryuuga he was, that she could and would surpass him one day and force him to acknowledge her. This has led to no end of conflicts between the two as they both stubbornly butt heads, trying the force the other into submission. Tsume's constant challenges of Jin's authority are met with a harsh hand and restrained cruelty, asking her to perform tasks that are impossible for her skill level, and then berating her harshly on her failings. Tsume, in return, continues to challenge him, continues to meet his challenges, and sometimes even meets them through sheer determination.

As far as academy life goes, Tsume enjoys her time with those outside of her clan, as they tend to judge her for her frail constitution and often bullied her. Similar events could also happen among the other children, but not as frequently or as harshly, so she could easily ignore those when it happened. Her current focus is on Nin-taijustu, another way of spiting her father as well as a way to strengthen her body as much as possible. As such, she often seeks help from other students and even teachers on the subject as she attempts to form a style all her own.

INFLUENCE & RELATIONS

Family [+]

• Jin Ryuuga: 45 Father, Jonin
• Akari Ryuuga:43 Mother, Medical ninja
• Akane Ryuuga-Fukumura:23 Elder Sister, Jonin
• Shintaro Fukumura:23 Brother-in-law, Jonin

Friends [+]

Rivals/Enemies [+]

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CHAKRA NATURE

FIRE

SPECIAL TRAITS

Tsume, as a member of the Ryuuga family, is born with a very strong connection to her elemental affinity of fire, thus making her fire jutsu’s that much stronger and more efficient as nature manipulation comes to a Ryuuga as easy as breathing, it’s something they can all do with little effort. However, due to her connection to fire being so strong that it even affects her chakra, and thus, other non-elemental techniques(to a certain degree) that she is literally incapable of using any other elemental jutsus.

Also, she has the ability to gain a sort of Berserker Rage if she reaches a high level of emotional turmoil and stress, which wipes away all of the fatigue from her body and doubles her strength for a time(about 4 posts), but also erases all rational thought from her mind as she rushes forward to crush any foe before her. When the rage ends, however, she’ll be left completely defenseless as her body will simply stop moving, the strain of pushing itself so far beyond it’s limitations being too much for it to handle. Due to her illness, this can even damage her body the longer she stays in it, such as internal bleeding, tearing of muscles, etc.

Unlike most Ryuuga of the fire element, Tsume possess very good chakra control, and if she applied herself in the field, would probably grow into a fine medic-nin. As it is, though, this enables her to be very precise and careful with how she uses her chakra, to make sure she doesn’t use more than is needed, and thus, keeps her fighting longer before she blows through her reserves.

Tsume’s innate stamina is lower than that of others of her element, and thus, ill-suited towards the style that she has chosen to emulate. She often tires herself out too, refusing to pace herself and often paying for it dearly in spars where the enemy is able to outlast her initial onslaught. Her illness also robs from her the greater strength and physical ability of her clan, though she could still be consider a bit stronger than a child of her age would be, its hardly noticeable in most scenarios and thus makes little difference.

FOCUS & SKILLS

Planning to be a Nin-taijutsu specialist, she would spend a lot of the time in the thick of the fight, using her father's style in lieu of traditional academy basics, an all out offensive rush of speed meant to overpower the opponent and break down their defenses beneath the explosive might that the clan's special traits gives those with the Fire release. Despite her unwillingness to change her style of fighting, she isn’t entirely unwilling to adapt to her faults, learning jutsu and techniques to provide distraction, cover, or escape opportunities for her should the need ever arise, especially given the drawbacks her body inflicts upon her.

Her training sessions with her father have given her an increased tolerance for pain, as well as helping to mitigate the drawbacks of her frail constitution as well, though it still is a big limiting factor. Her skills with weapons are about average for one of her age, not stellar, but not terrible.

EQUIPMENT & INVENTORY

• Standard set of Kunai
• Standard set of Junai
• often carries a good number of explosive seals
• Standard amount of ninja wire
• Special set of gloves that her father had for her, has metal over where the knuckles are, meaning that her punches hurt just that much more. They also have a metal plate on the back that are useful for improvised blocking and deflection of blades and such.
• Several kinds of medicinal herbs and such that she uses to help alleviate her body's near constant series of aches and pains as well as assisting to maintain her current level of health

JUTSU

Obvious list is obvious. Link to the Naruto wiki as well.

S Rank [+]

N/A

A Rank [+]

N/A

B Rank [+]

■

C Rank [+]

■
■

D Rank [+]

■
■
■

E Rank [+]

Academy Techniques

CUSTOM JUTSU

Obvious list is obvious.

Justu Name [+]

Name

Katon: Nenshou Doragon Tosshin(Burning Dragon Rush)

Rank

C

Range

Self

Description
Tsume, after making the needed seals, wraps herself in a veil of flame that vaguely takes the form of a dragon, before propelling herself towards her foe at great speeds via unleashing an explosion underneath her feet to act as the method of propulsion. Upon making contact with her target, or really any object in her way, the flames blast outward in a radial burst, igniting any flammables or fabrics within a meter or so of Tsume, as well as unleashing enough force to stagger most people. The technique is mostly an opening for her to go in and tear into a foe, especially one that’s guarding, but she can also use it as a quick escape/evasion tactic if she needs it.

Justu Name [+]

Name

Iryō gijutsu: Buresu no kyōka(Medical Technique: Breath of Strengthening)

Rank

D

Range

Self

Description

This jutsu is what allows Tsume to be a Shinobi despite her body's weakness. By focusing her chakra as she breathes, she able to strengthen her lungs so that they can handle the strain of battle better, though she'll still tire quickly if not careful. All this does is keep her from coughing up blood by pushing her body too hard, and it's note something that lasts that long either, going up to about 4 posts before she needs to do it again. Due to the focus this technique requires at her current level, this leaves her open too attack from an opponent if she has no one to cover her or can't find a safe spot to rest for a bit.

Justu Name [+]

Name

Katon: Yojin Bunshin no Jutsu (Fire Release: Ember Clone Technique)

Rank

C

Range

Self

Description

Tsume creates a solid clone out of fire, which is encased in a thin, fragile shell of her chakra. While the clone can fight, it only possesses one tenth of her overall ability, and as such, serves a more of a distraction than anything else. However, due to its make-up, it often makes for a more effective one than regular clones. Upon dispersal, the clones burst into a torrent of small flames and embers, both clouding vision of those nearby and inflicting minor burns upon the target, causing more pain than any real damage(unless they happen to get in your eyes or anything).

Justu Name [+]

Name

Rank

Text.

Range

Text.

Description

Text.

• _{I actually kinda like the Ryuuga's whole "Clan of Belligerents" sort of vibe.}
• _{I guess being sickly is one way to balance out being generally pretty good at things.}
• _{Another candidate for "Parent of the Year" in Papa Ryuuga, I see. I'd say that I'm kind of weary of the genin crop having shitty/dead parents, but it's not like I'm sorta guilty of it too.}
• _{Could use some more in the "Relations" category. Surely Tsume at least has opinions on the people she went to the Academy with, even if she might not have interacted with them. Even Fukushu's got that much, and she's got tunnel vision.}
• _{The whole "Berserker Rage" deal is a little iffy, at least in my opinion. Sure, there's potential drawbacks, but "doubling power" is pretty good. I suppose this is one of things where I can accept it on the basis that it's used relatively sparingly. Or at least if it's not used as the "Get out of Jail Free" card that it could end up being in the hands of someone who hates rules. So, barring any input from @Gowi or @Sloth on the matter, I'm going to trust you with this for now.}
• _{This new version of Tsume has been dialed back decently, but I'm also not sure if adding the sickness into the mix was necessary. Almost like it goes overboard into the "Sprinter, not a Marathoner" nature of Tsume's fighting style. Something to keep in mind, I suppose.}
• _{As far as jutsu goes, Tsume's a two-trick pony, but I guess there's nothing wrong with that. While the addition of a "medical jutsu" was an eyebrow raise for a moment, I'm going to give it a pass due to it just being "Please Don't Let Me Die" bootleg Hamon. Ember Clone's fine too, since it's not a full-on Fire Shadow Clone.}
• _{Minor thing, since it kinda bugs me, but you should probably toss your jutsu under the "Ranking" hiders as well, if only to cut down on blank space. It just looks better.}

In the state she's at now, she's acceptable to me, but if anything I've said here makes you wanna shift some stuff around, I wouldn't mind giving her a look again.

Uchiha Ria [+]

UCHIHA RIA

“I'll make a mochi out of you.”

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NAME

Uchiha Ria

ALIAS

The Silver Comet

GENDER

Female

AGE

Eleven

ORIGIN

Konohagakure

RANK

Genin

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APPEARANCE

A midget to most people's eyes but big inside the heart and it is to be known that her heart is sharper than her tongue, and bigger than her stomach. The way she looks and acts is sharper than any two edged sword. Ria's eyes is colored onyx which is common among her Clansmen but deceiving due to her distinctively upbeat nature, she takes after her father's eccentric nature and bears a strong resemblance of her mother.

Ria breaks the trend of her clan's traditional long collared blue and dark garments, she sports lighter colors and shades. A perfect example would be her silverish-white sleeveless kimono with red markings(black shorts inside the seemingly short skirt), black ninja boots and silverish-white long gloves(with red markings). In all fashion sense, she keeps her hair either unkempt or tied depending on her mood, and has a variety color selection of her outfit. Even though she is quite small for her age, she is adeptly fast in all sense quick to; talk, walk, run, answer,question, and laugh. It's not hard to spot Ria, considering her eccentricity.

PERSONALITY & MOTIVATIONS

Eccentric and cheerful, Ria is a weird force that one can get a headache from. Ria displays an abstract pattern of thinking yet subtly reserved by answering in a double-meaning manner which often times can tick peopleFAST. She takes pride in her intelligence as she sees her craft intertwine with benefits in a clear circle and knowing this, she takes advantage of whatever opportunity that comes to her. Ria is a fan of books that range from multiple genre, she quotes lines from it even though she may sound corny.

Ria has no problems in making friends given her upbeat and eccentricity, oddly enough the friends she make are usually older people, the typical old geezer and it escalates into weirder conversations as such this makes her quite mature for her age. That said, she hates it when she's proven wrong and loves it whenever it's an "I told you so." as long as it's coming from her. One thing that's surprising is that she isn't bothered receiving praise and is bluntly humble about it. When it comes to decision making, that is where she breaks apart, personal ones are easy but for a group it's harder, and deeper self ones are the hardest hence her "full proof" planner does not go the way she wants it to be.

CLAN HISTORY

The Uchiha Clan is one of the major clans in the village and well known as one of the eldest clans in history to ever exist. Specializing in fire techniques and the progressive sharingan, they are a force to be reckon with, and that's to those who awaken it; not all Uchiha awakens the sharingan but when one does, it changes the battlefield. Wars between certain clan seized during the Konton Period when the Uchiha, Senju, Hyuuga and Sarutobi founded the village, many years later, the Uchiha Clan would have its Hokage who died anyway due to a heated ordeal.

PERSONAL HISTORY

Ria is thankful for the bit of family she got right now. Living with her father and younger twin sister and surrounded by those in her circle of society is more than enough to stay productive and call the village a place that is home. Two years ago, Ria's mother, Uchiha Rika was murdered by a man with red eyes and strange katana shrouded in lightning and Uchiha Kazuma her father was imprisoned in Kusagakure, a specialized prison that locks up those notorious criminals; The Blood Prison. No matter how much she cry out about the truth behind the murder of her mother, not even a single person believed her and most would think she's insane for defending a man like her father. She would write letters and make an attempt to visit her but she's constantly thwarted by the Clan head and the authorities.

Senju Yuuji, a co-worker of her father in the ANBU took her in when she was 9 years old and ever since the event that is called The Murder of U.R- Uchiha Rika, Yuuji retired from ANBU work and opened Mochi Dreams as his new line of work with Ria and his children being his associates. He stood for Ria in the absence of Kazuma, some would say that it's odd for a Senju standing up for an Uchiha due to their indifference in ideals but it didn't matter, nurture beats nature for Yuuji is well received by Ria and their bond is as sharp as any double edged sword. He's not just a father but a friend, a brother, a teacher and a Mochi Specialist? Yes, he taught Ria what it means to have a family and living a stable life, this is love.

When there is a time to spare, Ria would look for that certain girl and challenge her in all forms to no end, the most notable challenge would be in Kenjutsu and this would escalate for a day. She calls her by nickname and they go way back in their younger academy days and even though they are constantly in each others throats. At the end of the day is respect, they would motivate each other to do better; well at least that's in Ria's point of view.

More and more, she comes closer to realization that her role as a shinobi is more than just serving the village and dying for it. Uchiha Ria is her name and that name alone given by her mother solidifies her purpose which is to find the man who murdered her mother and bring justice for her father. Ria could not forget those red eyes, seemingly she thought it was the sharingan and that strange katana that murdered her mother.

INFLUENCE & RELATIONS

Immediate Family [+]

• Senju Yuuji, 41 years old. He took care of her and her twin sister, acted as the father of the family after Kazuma's imprisonment. He resigned from ANBU work just to take care of his family and Kazuma's children. Yuuji also built Mochi Dreams and his mochi had been making the sales successfully for two years now. Yuuji standing up as more than a father and a brother to Kazuma's children indeed shows in his mochi works because it is filled with love. Yuuji is all about love.
• Uchiha Kazuma, 41 years old. The biological father of Ria and "K", he was imprisoned for the murder of his wife. Ria saw everything that day with her own eyes and believes till today that her father is innocent but according to evidence says otherwise. He is currently detained in Blood Prison and one day soon to be executed. Ria took after his eccentric personality and even though it is a serious matter, she believes that her father's eccentricity doesn't help in prison at all. It even makes him more look like he is hiding something. He is also skilled in kenjutsu and a practitioner of the Undrawn and Released Blade, Kazuma taught Ria the style but her progression was halted due to his imprisonment.
• Uchiha Rika, 83 C.E - 110 C.E.. Ria and K's mother who died in the hands of her own husband seemingly. Her children are equally close to her just as Kazuma but K is closer to Kazuma. She may have died horribly by the hands of the "Dragon Man" but she was a good mother who cook the best dishes and who love with all her heart. Yuuji describes that Ria looks a lot like Rika whereas K looks a lot like Kazuma but the likeliness is reversed since K acts more like Rika and Ria acts more like Kazuma. Ria is right handed while K is left handed while their parents; Kazuma is left handed and Rika, right handed.
• Uchiha Kanade, 11. Ria's younger twin sister who is the total opposite of her in personality and deemed to be her "equal". However she still is in the Academy and has yet to graduate. The twins don't get along with each other at all and has a rivalry according to the younger twin in which Ria doesn't see at all. Indeed they are twins and Yuuji even explains that they are like fire and ice. Ria is fire and Kanade is ice. Kanade spends most of her time contemplating about surpassing Ria.
• Uchiha Chiaki, Clan Head and Aunt. All with respect and dedication although they aren't that close, Ria wants to get closer to her all the more and all the more Ria is beginning to question a lot of things regarding her father. Every time she sees Chiaki, she gets in a state of excitement which is totally reduced to a shy exterior.

Comrades [+]

• Matsudaira Kiri, 12. Ria is totally fond of her but never in a rival sense. She sees her as one friend that is one in a million and the one that is willing to run extra miles for you. Added to the fact that she's such a cute beast who would so prove liars out there to never lie again due to her strength but strength is something that Ria sees beyond for her, Kiri is more than a Puncher and Kicker. One last thing, Ria finds her so big that even her height of 4'7 makes her feel like an ant but that's a good sense since Ria believes she's a good person.
• Namikaze Fukushu, 11. Just seeing the look of her face everyday is something to be thankful and sorry at the same time. Apart from Mikki, Fukushu is one of the few people that Ria can totally relate to and sees herself in her, not to mention the entire concept of having a mother. In a sense of what would have happened if Ria let her clan's expectations get the better of her and not have love and beyond that Ria thinks she would have ended up like her if it wasn't for the people who always got her back. Whenever she sees Fukushu, Ria is careful with what she's going to say and do.
• T.B.A
• T.B.A

Rivals [+]

• Murakumo Mikoto, 12. Ever since day one at the academy, they have been on each other's throats. Mikki is the sole reason that according to Ria motivated herself into putting her all into Kenjutsu and the only rival she sees worth of her time. Everyone else pales in comparison and anyone that is not named Mikki. There are certain times they get along well with each other but won't last long due their way of thinking. Ultimately, Ria sees herself in Mikki in the aspect of what her life would have been if her mother was alive and her father's not in prison and frankly, she envies her because of having a complete family.
• T.B.A
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• T.B.A

Inspirations [+]

• Senju Madarame. He is the premier swordsman in Konohagakure, excelling beyond the preceding generation’s notable kenjutsu specialists. It is said that Madarame is the equal of any samurai. This man is the very man that Ria looks up to, the very man whom she wishes to be when she grows up, as odd as it sounds because she's a girl soon to be a woman. Although Ria has not personally met the living legend, she continues to do her best everyday, hoping one day she'll meet him and get his autograph.
• T.B.A
• T.B.A
• T.B.A

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CHAKRA NATURE

Fire

SPECIAL TRAITS

Ria is a practioner of the Mi-enshin Kaihō also known as the Undrawn and Released Sword. A unique form of swordplay that is a limbo between directness and decisiveness. Literally the sword being sheathed later to be unsheathed. The basic two forms are:

Tojita-ha(Closed Blade). On spot the most basic and simplest move of the Undrawn and Released Sword style. Mi-enshin Kaihō sword styles are designed to play decisive hits through varying feints accompanied by the wielder's speed and tactic that overpowers their opponent. Truly, the sword is sheathed when the wielder is the one delivering a blow. This style is more of the sword being sheathed and hit while sheathed.

Karaware(Cracked Sky). Given the directness of strikes while maintaining its decisiveness of delivering simple and multiple slashes and feints depending on the user. Since the sword is unsheathed, advanced forms of this technique depending on its user can employ only fire, lightning or wind releases. This is also the name of Ria's sword.

Ria is still young and has a lot ahead of her, she is far from mastering The Undrawn and Released Sword albeit a fruit that is yet to ripe.

FOCUS & SKILLS

As an Uchiha, Ria is expected to excel in all areas, typical and understandable given the Uchihas nature as Jack of All Trades but master of none. Ria however has potential for Kenjutsu and had undergo short training period with her father prior his imprisonment thus her progression was halt. Ria is still young and has a lot ahead of her, she is far from mastering The Undrawn and Released Sword albeit a fruit that is yet to ripe.

EQUIPMENT & INVENTORY

-Karaware
-General Ninja Equipment

JUTSU

S Rank [+]

N/A

A Rank [+]

N/A

B Rank [+]

■Mi-enshin Kaihou: Engetsu-ha

C Rank [+]

■Mi-enshin Kaihou: Mirajunohana
■

D Rank [+]

■ Body Flicker Technique
■ Which in this case, Ria does not utilize it like how should it be but utilizes it as anAfterimage clone allowing her to move among her afterimages and strike her opponents. She can only create at least 3 mirages given her age and level of power.

E Rank [+]

Academy Techniques

CUSTOM JUTSU

Engetsuga [+]

Name

Mi-enshin Kaihou: Engetsuga(Undrawn and Released Blade: Fire Crescent Blade)
Rank

B
Range

Mid Range

Description

The second formation of the Unreleased and Released Blade, Karaware and in many ways it bears a resemblance to the Flying Swallow technique as by imbuing fire chakra nature, the user is able to cloak the blade in flames and release it as a projectile. This technique is good for taking out multiple opponents.

Mirajunohana [+]

Mi-enshin kaihou: Mirajunohana(Undrawn and Released Blade): Mirage Flower

Rank

C
Range

Close(Melee-Range)
Description

A mirage through the Body Flicker Clone effect, the user moves in an extreme speed showing three feints which makes it confusing for the target to attack the real one and a decisive blow is later delivered by the sheathed blade. This technique follows the first formation and principle of the sword style, Tojita-ha also known as Closed Blade. As simple as it is, this technique is easy to dodge given the attack pattern of left(afterimage 1) and right(afterimage 2) then forward(real one) attack fashion.

• _{Ugh, that quote.}
• _{Uchiha or not, a nickname like "The Silver Comet" is a bit lofty for a genin. Unless she's some kind of chuuni who gave herself her own nickname.}
• _{As expected, Ria's a weirdo. Fair enough.}
• _{I'm pretty cross on this whole murder mystery deal, honestly. The best thing I can say is that it would require heavy workshopping if it wasn't just nixed completely.}
• _{I've also got a bone to pick about the whole adoption thing. Adding a Senju to the currently established Clan tree would probably be pretty easy. But, even with that in mind, why did the Uchiha just let some dude from another clan take Ria and Kanade in? Whether she's her dads former co-worker or not, I'd imagine that the rest of the Uchiha clan can afford to keep her and her sister in their custody. That's almost entirely the purpose of having a clan in the first place. For me to allow this to fly, I'd need a really compelling reason for it to happen in the first place. Because, as it is, it just doesn't make much sense.}
• _{I'm gonna just come out and say that your description of Mi-enshin Kaiho is pretty confusing. I'm aware that you're trying to emulate Kagura's whole "clubbing people with a sheathed sword" thing, but I don't think notes of "directness" and "decisiveness" are going to help anybody else parse what's going on with it.}
• _{Honestly on the fence as to whether Engetsuga could use some tweaking (but B-Ranks might be revoked from Genin, anyway), but whatever. Though, I am gonna have to make a note that Shunshin (Body Flicker) is on the banlist now, so you're gonna have to nix it. Mirajunohana feels closer to a B-Rank, if only due to the whole "Afterimage Clone" thing, though. Maybe if it were one afterimage, but even then it feels like a pretty advanced technique.}

She could use a little work to get into acceptable level. I don't hate the sheet, but I'm not exactly in love with it either.

@Gowi@RyoRyoRyoken@SlothHere's Kiyoshi.

Obviously still need to fill in some stuff, but hey. It's a sheet, innit? Give me all your scrutiny n' stuff.