1 Guest viewing this page
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Hammerman
Raw
Avatar of Hammerman

Hammerman

Member Seen 1 hr ago

Well, here's my CS. Youngest character so far.

Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
Raw
GM
Avatar of FujiwaraPhoenix

FujiwaraPhoenix Archer Inferno

Member Seen 16 hrs ago

@blumenk: No ghosts. Too many problems.

@GreenGoat: May I ask what the 'job' in question is? I think that's all the clarification I need on that end.

@Hammerman: Hoo boy, where to begin...?
Age. Why are we getting younger? This RP is going to get dangerous and possibly darker in tone at times, so a 12 year old... Might not be the best choice for a character. Especially one whose existence is effectively cute mascot character with a child's mindset. Like, I let 14 slide because it's about that time where you start getting accustomed to the realities of life, but still.

Next. Wolfkin. That term really isn't fitting within the cultural context of the RP. At all. There are youkai that exist as a basis. There are non-Japanese mythical creatures that also work. But 'wolfkin' when the name is supposed to be Japanese in origin? Nah.

You can condense the first and second in abilities into 'heightened senses', though honestly as a prepubescent child those abilities should be nowhere near as developed as that of a dog whose job it is to hunt down things via smell or sound alone.

3 feels... Kinda out of place. Feels like something that'd be redundant to teach when trying to blend in with humans, which leads me to...

4. Would it not be simpler to write 'increased speed' and 'increased strength' or something along those lines? I did say relative strength should be close to one another, so.

Next... idk why, but I wanted to say that adorable is subjective. It's also not an adjective that describes personality.

's all for now. I think.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by GreenGoat
Raw
Avatar of GreenGoat

GreenGoat Harmless Flower Person

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

@PKMNB0Y Odd jobs, like janitorial, guard duty, being a waiter, and the likes.

EDIT:I edited the phrasing in the CS to work a bit better i think.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by blumenk
Raw

blumenk

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@PKMNB0Y All right, just one more question before I begin writing the CS; would undead, a changeling or the descendant of a sandman work? if all of them are too much trouble, Ill just stick with a human reporter.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
Raw
GM
Avatar of FujiwaraPhoenix

FujiwaraPhoenix Archer Inferno

Member Seen 16 hrs ago

@GreenGoat: You said 'dishonest people' twice, friend. Other than that, I think they're good to go. Accepted.

@blumenk: No generic undead (skeletons, zombies, etc;) but things that might be more appropriate disguising into human culture are options, changeling would need adequate explanation as to why Japan (unless they're a foreigner or smth), same with sandman. Also, balancing sleep gets really weird relative to RPs, so I'd definitely stay away from that last one.
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by GreenGoat
Raw
Avatar of GreenGoat

GreenGoat Harmless Flower Person

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

Yeah, its to emphasize she doesn't like dishonest people lol. Ill move the cs over to the char tab then.
1x Like Like
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Kidd
Raw
Avatar of Kidd

Kidd Herrscher of Stupid

Member Seen 13 days ago

@PKMNB0Y Alright, I'll drop the electricity. It just came up in some if the lore for them but that's Google for you lol. I'm on mobile right now, but I'll change it ASAP.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Polaris North
Raw
Avatar of Polaris North

Polaris North How I Socially Interact

Member Seen 23 days ago




@PKMNB0Y

I wasn't sure just how many signs I could make up considering you did say we'll start off in low power. Just tell me what I need to fix if there's anything wrong with it.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Kuroyomihime
Raw
Avatar of Kuroyomihime

Kuroyomihime 禁断の姫 / 1st Apocrypha

Member Seen 9 mos ago

@PKMNB0Y

My CS is almost ready, I just need to finish the personality and backstory, neither of which will be that complicated, later. I awant to see if the rest of it is well, for the time being:


Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Kidd
Raw
Avatar of Kidd

Kidd Herrscher of Stupid

Member Seen 13 days ago

@PKMNB0Y I edited my character's sheet to exclude electricity. I'll leave it at shapeshifting and athleticism. Let me know if anything else needs changed. Also I'm willing to make a human as well since we're getting a lot of youkai.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
Raw
GM
Avatar of FujiwaraPhoenix

FujiwaraPhoenix Archer Inferno

Member Seen 16 hrs ago

@Kidd: Should be good to go now. Accepted.

@Polaris North: I see no issues here. Accepted.

That being said, I need to figure out the best way to open this RP. There are so many ways to lead into things...
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Cuccoruler
Raw
Avatar of Cuccoruler

Cuccoruler The Banana Chicken

Member Seen 7 yrs ago




Who wants head puns?
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
Raw
GM
Avatar of FujiwaraPhoenix

FujiwaraPhoenix Archer Inferno

Member Seen 16 hrs ago

@Kuroyomihime: Didn't realize you wanted feedback; thought you wanted to finish before review. Let's see...

Tune down wind power a bit; supernatural abilities shouldn't be that potent for a relatively young youkai, especially if they're enough to destabilize people to the point where they're falling down.

Also dualblading. It's... A tricky thing to handle, but maybe tune proficiency levels down a bit, too.

I think that's my only qualm rn. It should be fine if it's tuned down and scales to bigger levels later in the RP, though.

@Cuccoruler: Stick to having the character use his own stuff for his own shenanigans. You shouldn't need to drag the weapon from elsewhere if its sheath it your own body... And given how it's condition is 'head must be removed', I think that just existing as such would be better.

I don't think carrying a butcher knife everywhere is the best of ideas, though...

Edit: Right, dullahans are Irish, so... Should prob edit history to at least have heritage start there.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Cuccoruler
Raw
Avatar of Cuccoruler

Cuccoruler The Banana Chicken

Member Seen 7 yrs ago

[@PKMNBOY] Fixed, his family line originates in ireland, can't use other people spines, only his own. I am considering making him a tad bit evil though... the kind that collects spines. Still on the fence about him being evil though.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
Raw
GM
Avatar of FujiwaraPhoenix

FujiwaraPhoenix Archer Inferno

Member Seen 16 hrs ago

@Cuccoruler: Let's not go there. Really, let's not.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by GreenGoat
Raw
Avatar of GreenGoat

GreenGoat Harmless Flower Person

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

At least he doesnt have the wagon made out of human parts that dullahans sometimes have lol. Is he still weak to gold though?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Cuccoruler
Raw
Avatar of Cuccoruler

Cuccoruler The Banana Chicken

Member Seen 7 yrs ago

@Cuccoruler: Let's not go there. Really, let's not.


K no evil then. Also he now carries a switch blade to open boxes and such. is he good now?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
Raw
GM
Avatar of FujiwaraPhoenix

FujiwaraPhoenix Archer Inferno

Member Seen 16 hrs ago

@Cuccoruler: Yeah, accepted.

I should be ready to start the RP sooner or later. I'll keep signups open indefinitely, so don't worry if your forms aren't ready yet.

Also a 3-character limit, but... I'd like a few more humans rn. No mandate, but more preference.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by TheFake
Raw
Avatar of TheFake

TheFake

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

Just a normal human. Nothing suspicious at all here.


Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
Raw
GM
Avatar of FujiwaraPhoenix

FujiwaraPhoenix Archer Inferno

Member Seen 16 hrs ago

@TheFake: Accepted. Though... Remember to not have too much area under his reach. Sometimes crime dens are useful to smoke out for a story.

Anyways, OP coming soon.

Edit: And by soon I mean now. :3c
↑ Top
1 Guest viewing this page
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet