Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Ryougu
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Ryougu He who rides the bandwagon

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Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Fourze
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Fourze

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Is this still accepting?, I was working on a CS and just had the time to post it. The only thing left is the backstory.


Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dezuel
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I would also wish to join, sadly could not write yesterday as I was working whole day. Is it too late to throw together a character?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Letter Bee
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Letter Bee Filipino RPer

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@Dezuel, Not Ryougu, but he's still open to later 'summonings'.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Ryougu
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Ryougu He who rides the bandwagon

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@Dezuel
Bee's right. There is still space, so if you get up a CS, I'll check it and you'll probably find your way in.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Ryougu
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@Fourze
Now done looking over your CS. As for everyone, there's a few things.
1. The Excalibur. I'm totally fine with cutting through rock, shooting through it however, should be a lot harder, so perhaps not rock-piercing bullets?

2. Then, some functions like the overclock and the infuser. Battles (in real life, at least) don't last all that long, so perhaps reduce the time limit?

3. Small note about the yeti-form. It's cool it quickly freezes water, but it should take a while to freeze larger and/or salt bodies of water. Since you'd kinda end up with a block of ice around your claw normally. Great for catapulting, less great for spreading the cold.

Then, once that's done and you've added the detailed backstory I'll take another look ^-^
I'm looking forward to seeing your character's completion.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dezuel
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Going to add CS soon. Bear with me.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by KoL
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I'll be posting here around tomorrow, or this Tuesday. Just letting you all know.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Dezuel
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https://www.dropbox.com/s/r71go9jkaobko4o/Dez.png?dl=0

Dezuel Incarnus
30
Male
Human

Personality:

Dezuel is a calm, calculating and scary character to some. He may speak in a soothing tone but the words he speak is meant to either cause them to lose their resolve and question their own ways, or to lure them into attacking him so that they've lower their guard providing him with a moment to attack them. He tries to not stain his hands or be led astray as he sees it. But his work is akin to that of a gardener, to tend to the garden he refers to as his world. Sometimes one have to pull some bad plants out in their roots however.

He is usually one who attempts to sway opponents with words prior to using his powers or weaponry. Either to have them stand down, join him or spread disbelief amongst them.

Some may consider him a friend, others may consider him a fiend. He is however out to do what needs to be done.

Plot Summary of Original content:
Fantasy/Supernatural

Backstory:

In a world wracked by constant fear due to the existance of those who wield the inborn powers of the elements and threatens the established magic learning majority. (Consider it a fight between wizards and sorcerers, those who learn the power and those which have the innate ability to use them) In the world of Terilia a particular powerful elementalist (sorcerer) has arisen and taken control over the kingdom using his dark gifts and powerful artifacts to crush anyone standing up against him. Lord Galaron Deathmantle.

That is when a group of six set out to find a fabled magical sword which may help them in their quest to stop this tyrant from enslaving the world. The hero of the story is Izarain, a young man who is an elementalist himself. But he has no intention of letting this evil lord enslave all non-elementalists.

Facing the fear and prejudice of the common people along his adventure he nontheless try to do the right thing. He tries his best for elementalists and magicians to co-exist together.

Wielding the inborn powers of fire and lightning he sets out with five companions, Joshina, Jigg, Bell, Malaran and Dezuel to fight against this evil.

Season 2

After having obtained the fabled sword and defeated lord Galaron at his castle a new enemy appeared. His former companion Dezuel reveals himself as a elementalist himself and seizes the fabled sword from Izarain's hands. Proclaiming to the entire world the formation of ELF (Elementalist Liberation Front) which in turn causes elementalists to gather under his banner and begin to wage war against the magicians whom has oppressed and hunted them down.

Izarain desperately tries to stop this war alongside his remaining companions, claiming that they can all co-exist together and make the world a better place. He tries to reach out to his former ally whose hellbent on purging the world of those who will not accept the new natural order.

Weapons, Powers & Abilities:

Weapons:

- Astralus (Crystal sword, capable of absorbing and deflecting projectile and beam based energy attacks like lightning bolts)

- Bronze armor

Innate abilities

Water creation, Water manipulation, Ice creation, Ice manipulation

- Shape and create water and ice (A general summerize of how he can manipulate water. To form various tools or makeshift attacks. Such as just calling forth water to fill out the floor of a warehouse up to the ankles or to make his Tidal Wave power by amassing said water into one place, or manipulate raindrops to form up as orbs or twirling fountain streams midair to slam down on opponents at the force of a firemans firehose)

- Water orbs (Orbs of water he can throw in quick succession or float around him waiting to be lunged or used. Using his ice powers they can be transformed into jagged shards of ice
- Whirlpool (Sends out a whirling pool of spinning water in an attempt to cause foes caught in it's path to stumble or get carried away with it for abit. When amplified by ice it shoots shards of ice in all directions as it spins. (Think the sorceress ice orb from Diablo 2)

- Hydro spiral (His strongest attack. An inversed cone of water, where the sharp end of the cone is pointed towards the opponent, it starts up close to him and then gradually can be extended forwards to strike a single point at a distance of ten metres. This is mainly used to knock someone into something else or off their feet. Like being hit by a very strong fireman hose.) When amplified by ice it instead becomes a large spear of ice intending on impaling whose on the receiving end. This is the highest precision attack he has at his disposal.

- Aqua Javelin (A spinning orb formed cone is sent forwards and can create a line of water either horizontally or vertically at the wielders will in either end of said orb measuring up to a length of five metres on each side. Much like the Hydro Spiral this attack is mostly used to intercept enemies by knocking them away to try knock them down, into things or plainly try knock them into uncounciousness. When amplified by ice it becomes a wall of ice instead)

- Aqua Disc (A quickly rotating disc of water which he can toss at foes. This particular move would try to siphon the stamina of the target, aiming for the chest to try pull the breath away from them. Like being hit in the stomach by a big heavy frisbee. When amplified by ice it becomes like throwing a circular spinning saw. Clearly more lethal than the former.)

- Barrier (Creates a large barrier of water around himself which may ward him against particular forms of attacks. He can move to his free will while using this power, it serves several functions however.

BARRIER VARIANT

- Freeze barrier (He changes the water barrier into ice. Meaning if he charges someone with the barrier on they've get hit by a big globe of hard ice, or in the case of him activating it while they are inside of said barrier then they are caught in a ball of ice instead)

- Jagged peaks (This is a defensive move which first forms up as a ball of ice around him and later makes large shards of ice to protrude outwards from it in all directions. Like a porcupine would to a would be predator.

- Tidal wave (His second strongest attack, and also the one demanding most out of him, which is meant to target a large number of enemies at once. The signs of him usually preparing it is him calling forth water to start filling up the ground or floor in a larger area. Whereof ater he manipulates it back and forth before gathering all the water near him and sending it at full force against his foe. The wave itself is usually around 3 metres tall.) He cannot turn this power into ice when the tidal wave has been gathered. He may however turn the ankle-high water into ice however to make it slippery to walk on.

- Cannot drown while councious (He separates the actual water from the oxygen in the water, meaning he can absorb the air in the water and thus being able to breathe)

- Walk on water and ice (He may walk on water at will, and also sink down into it when the need arises. He may also move on ice like how one would use iceskates)

- Water senses (He can sense movement in the water under his control if for example a person is swimming or stepping into pools of water under his control he may also use this power on water he has not made himself but it requires him to take control of it first. He also needs a direct path to anyone in touch with sais water and cannot just feel it by raindrops or someone with wet
)

Author: Y.D
Real Name: Yohansuno Denisu
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Ryougu
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@Dezuel
Right right right, where do I begin?
Well, here; that's a lot of powers. So I'd suggest sticking to one archetype, like the water magic. There's also some things that belong in "the standard anime package" everyone gets, for example tough and strong.

You also seem to have a misconception about how teleportation works; the moment the teleporter leaves his old space, they already appear in the new space. So cutting a teleporter in the location he was before is a definite impossibility.

No offense meant, but your thermal manipulation is on one hand lackluster and on the other broken. Speaking of breaking, I'm going to say no to any skills like shatter or heat(h)en that are meant to break someone's weapon. So once again; I suggest limiting down to aqua manipulation.

Then finally, about water manipulation; it's mostly fine, but there are a few things. Water bubble; Since a bubble is a hollow sphere of water you couldn't exactly "drown" in it, suffocate at most and that'd take a while. Moreover, due to it being water, one could simply step through. Next up, Aqua manipulation; no, you don't get to render opponents 'under your control' with a mere flick of a wrist. You'll have to persuade them in order to do so. Then the hydro whip, it mentions immobilizing, but water on its own has no immobilizing factor.

In short:
Quite some changes will be due, but your powers should most definitely be streamlined.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dezuel
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@Ryougu

Well, on the part for teleportation I meant it being used in the same way as in the Slayers universe. Akin to how the sword of light is able to cut down those who rely on travelling through the astral plane. (See Xelloss vs Valgaav or in the protagonists battle against Kanzel.)

As for the water bubble. It was just a name, but I suppose I should have written that it is just a big ball of water. (See Carlo Belfrond of Psychic Force 2012 or Kigai Yuto of Unmei no Tatakai).

The thermal manipulation were however the glue holding the stuff together and without that I might just wipe him and start from scratch.

If only one element/power is obtainable then perhaps revising previous posts may yield further gains.

See a character having darkness and light manipulation and being able to create said powers. Well ultimately it's up to you who you let in I suppose.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Ryougu
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@Dezuel
Multiple elements is fine, but they have to suit a theme. So fire and water would work, but once again; I'm not allowing instant-KOs and weapon breakers, for the sake of the characters being outside of their own universe, thus not so easily obtaining new magical weapons and the like.

So uhh, keep it modest, I guess?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Ryougu
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@Medjedovic
IC's up my dude, are you?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dezuel
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@Ryougu

Updated character.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Medjedovic
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@RyouguI was busy this last few days, I'll try to post this evening or tomorrow morning.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Medjedovic
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@Ryougu@TheFake I posted (forgot to mention you in the post )
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Ryougu
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@Medjedovic
So many people ready to assault the clown... Yet no one's actually trying anything yet xD
And you're one of them :D
A V I C T I M , T H A T I S .
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Ryougu
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@Dezuel
I'd expected that saying skills "like" would've been enough, but it seems not. Swordsmanship and quick are two skills that are pretty average for anime fighters, so those too, should be scrapped as they're something everyone'll have.?

Then, flight, I get that you want it, but with this description it makes no sense.

Now, I've also been considering the big blob of water, and have eventually decided against suffocation-based attacks. I know it wasn't in the rules, but bear with me here.

The blob had one notable thing that I found rather out of place; a shield against fire. Why is that a feature for a blob rather than the barrier? (barriers being meant to block things.) Instead your barrier has this odd thing where... It... Grabs people? Like, whut? How? Water doesn't realy get a lot of grip on people, to begin with.

I'd also suggest changing water sense to work with water he's in contact with, so that he can actually use water not created by his own ability.

In other news, the format for mentioning is [ @Username ]
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Ryougu
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Ryougu He who rides the bandwagon

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@Dezuel
Ah, also V E R Y I M P O R T A N T , death is permanent, so your sword is a no-go now. And of course, the armor wouldn't literally be as light as a very or as tough as the toughest metal, for that metal is stupidly tough. It'll be pretty light and tough, though.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by KoL
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KoL Knight of Lorelei

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My post will be coming out later today, as promised.

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