Is this still accepting?, I was working on a CS and just had the time to post it. The only thing left is the backstory.
Name: Jin Kisaragi Age: 23 Gender: Male Race: Human Personality: Jin is a kind hearted and soft person, initially struggling to fight as he didn't want to hurt someone, even if not doing it could kill him. Over time he grows the resolve to fight Knightmares that want to harm innocents while warning or even protecting those who haven't done anything. Jin adopts a serious persona when dealing with threats to the public, observing any movement his enemies do before rushing in and attacking. Even so, he is not a pragmatic fighter and prefers to fight with as little dirty tricks as possible.
Plot Summary of Original content: Action, Drama, Mystery, Supernatural. Armored Rider Alpha: The animated spinoff of the iconic Masked Hunter live action series. After an armored hero took a fatal blow from supernatural beings called Knightmares to save him, Jin Jin finds himself as the new owner of the alpha hunter system, the only thing capable of putting down those monsters for good. Jin must now deal with the Knightmares on his town and investigate the origin of the alpha system and his previous owner.
Masked Hunter Alpha S2: Action, Drama, Supernatural After the destruction of the Alpha system, humanity finds itself defenseless against the Knightmares, who are uniting under the banner of a creature declaring himself the “Nightmare Emperor.” Jin and the Hypnos Organization must find an alternative to the Alpha system before the growing menace of the Knightmares attack.
Backstory:
Jin initially worked as a police officer investigating a mysterious armored guy that had been reported to appear in diverse parts of the city, with the ones who made the report claiming that he had saved them from a monster. After a day of trying to connect the pieces of the puzzle unsuccessfully, Jin decided to go home.
On the way home, a man jumps in the middle of the road, with Jin barely managing to pull the brakes in time. He explained to Jin that he was escaping from a person in a white armor that wanted to kill him, while initially skeptical Jin decided to investigate, asking the man to where did he see the armored guy and heading that way with the man following behind him.
The man pointed to the forest the town had, and as they went deeper into the woods, Jin began to think that the man had just imagined things. Suddenly someone hidden between the bushes ordered both of them to stop and for Jin to move away from the man if he wanted to live. Not wanting to risk the life of the man Jin told him to stay there as he moved to the direction where he heard the voice, ordering the man to reveal himself.
Due to a lack of response from the man, Jin expected him to attack at any moment, but instead, he found a bloody and injured man, even more so than the man who was running from him. He wouldn't get many answers out of him as he stepped in front of Jin and was pierced in the stomach by a monster.
The monster thanked Jin for helping him in killing the white hunter and ran away into the night, his laughter echoing in the forest. The dying man pleaded in his dying breath for Jin to continue his task of protecting humanity and gave him his belt. Still in shock over the events that happened Jin took the belt and called the paramedics claiming that he had heard him on his way home.
After his identity is revealed as Miyuki Tezuka, Jin decides to do some snooping and investigate his house in search for clues of why did that monster kill Tezuka. It seemed that he wasn't the only one to get the same idea as he meets the very same man who killed Tezuka at his doorstep. The man instantly transformed into a monster as Jin ran back to his car, looking for the belt the man gave him.
The belt was beeping loudly and saying “KNIGHTMARE THREAT PRESENT, TRANSFORMATION READY” in a robotic voice. Without thinking twice, Jin put on the belt hoping that it would do something against the monster. In a flash of light, a white armor manifested on him, and the monster was taken aback for a moment, stopping in his tracks before continuing to charge to Jin's position.
Jin first tried to use diplomacy against the monster, while guarding against his attacks, but the creature just returned the attempts at diplomacy with “Die!”. Realizing that he had to fight to survive, Jin reluctantly began to fight back eventually overpowering his attacker and with all his strength pierced his arm through the monster chest, with its body dissipating into ashes.
Removing his belt and undoing his transformation he searched the house in search of answers. Apart from finding a sword and a knuckle that seemed to go along with the armor, Jin had no luck finding something. Or at least that was he thought of until he found some papers from an organization called “Hypnos” detailing the current known information about Knightmares, which must be the monster he fought earlier.
The creatures called Knightmares supposedly are the manifestation of mankind fears and were given physical forms by four powerful alchemists centuries ago. If ancient records are to be believed the ritual created 108 Knightmares who instead of being subservient as they would believe were murderous and with a burning hatred of humans.
The four alchemists would create weapons to fight them and once they proved unable to destroy them, seal them. Their descendants would continue their work and prepare a weapon capable of destroying them in case they were released from their prison.
A recent earthquake in the region was the straw that broke the camel's back on the seal and released them on a small town. These monsters must be taken as soon as possible as they have the ability to grow stronger when absorbing negative emotions such as fear. Unlike the weapons of old, the Alpha system is designed in a way that the monsters die for good once they are killed.
Knowing the man these papers were sent to was dead, Jin knew he would have to take care of the Knightmare problem until he was able to contact the Hypnos organization. As he tried to find leads on the whereabouts on the organization, Jin meet many Knightmares, the majority of them hostile and unaware that others of his kind had been released. Others only wanted to live a normal human life or had found another Knightmare leading to a two vs. one fight.
He would finally get in contact with the organization after he unknowingly saved a high ranking member from a Knightmare. With the support of the Hypnos organization, it became easier to locate and destroy Knightmares. Things seemed to be going to an end as Knightmares attacks started becoming less frequent.
What both Jin and the organization didn't expect was that a Knightmare would be able to find their location. The surprise attack destroyed most of their research into Knightmares and left the alpha system as nothing more than scrap metal. The perpetrators didn't leave before announcing that the emperor sent his regards.
With no time to build another system, the Hypnos organization began the search for their previous prototypes. Searching their old base, Jin and Hypnos found that the base was also ransacked with only one of the ten demon infusers still functional. These demon infusers could destroy Knightmares as the alpha system, but they weakened the body and could only be used for a short time limit.
Despite the growing blindness in his left eye and the loss of strength in his left arm, Jin continued to use them as he fought the last Knightmares, with the Hypnos organization managing to repair the alpha system just in time to the battle against the Knightmare Emperor. The fight was a close one with the emperor initially dominating the fight, but once the alpha system entered its overclock mode the fight began to side in Jin's favor, with him striking the Emperor in the head with the Alpha knuckle to finish him before passing out.
Once he woke up in the hospital, Jin received the news that he had managed to kill the emperor as only him and ashes were present when they came to rescue him. Happily smiling that his task as a hunter was finally over the series ends its second season.
Weapons, Powers & Abilities:
Alpha System: The iconic armor of the show, and like most of the other armors in the Armored Hunter series the armor is accessed through a special belt. The armor grants its user enhanced durability and speed, making them capable of battling against low-level Knightmares with ease, but struggles against more powerful ones. To mitigate this problem, the alpha system comes with two weapons:
The Excalibur a sword-gun capable of cutting through rock with ease and shooting bullets of the same caliber as your standard pistol.
Alpha Knuckle a brass knuckle that can release a blast of energy with the strength of a grenade, this energy takes a while to recharge once released and as such the brass knuckle is mostly used as a finisher or a desperate attack.
ALPHA OVERCLOCK:A feature added into the reconstructed Alpha system with the intention of pushing the system limits to the max, to go toe to toe with the Nightmare Emperor. Where previously the user had as much strength and speed as an Olympic athlete, now he can punch holes in concrete and is as fast as your standard car. The overclock function last three minutes before the system shuts off.
Demonic Infuser: A device used in the past to fight the first Knightmare incursions, instead of relying on technology to overpower and destroy Knightmares this method uses a mixture of alchemy and magic to capture and seal the power of a Knightmare giving its user some of their powers. Since fusing Knightmare and Human is not a natural process the body rejects the fusion process after five minutes with excessive use mutating and weakening the body. In Jin´s case, excessive use has caused him to lose most of his vision in his left eye, which also has a changed color from hazel to a mixture of different colors and loss of strength and mobility in his left hand.
The Demonic infuser is shaped like a bat since much how a vampire spreads its curse when it bites its victim; the infuser needs to “bite” the user to inject the Knightmare essence in its bloodstream. After that, it is placed on its pedestal (which is nothing more than a fancy belt) as the transformation begins.
The demonic infuser Jin found had two Knightmare powers in it, Yeti and Goliath:
The Yeti form grants him two big claws that have the same sharpness of the Excalibur with the additional ability to freeze everything it touches, easily turning water into ice, with larger bodies and things made up of salt taking up more time to freeze.
Goliath: Jin´s biggest form since its height becomes 2.5m with its weapon the Longinus lance being 3m tall. As Goliath, his defenses raise to the point where he can shrug off most gunfire without much trouble and gains the strength to lift and throw cars. It is not without drawbacks since his speed and agility are reduced by an incredible amount and even if his armor is resistant Goliath has a very visible armorless spot in his back, a spot that faster and agiler enemies can strike if they notice it.
Author/Real Name: Masahiro Kadoya Age: 38 Gender: Male
@Fourze Now done looking over your CS. As for everyone, there's a few things. 1. The Excalibur. I'm totally fine with cutting through rock, shooting through it however, should be a lot harder, so perhaps not rock-piercing bullets?
2. Then, some functions like the overclock and the infuser. Battles (in real life, at least) don't last all that long, so perhaps reduce the time limit?
3. Small note about the yeti-form. It's cool it quickly freezes water, but it should take a while to freeze larger and/or salt bodies of water. Since you'd kinda end up with a block of ice around your claw normally. Great for catapulting, less great for spreading the cold.
Then, once that's done and you've added the detailed backstory I'll take another look ^-^ I'm looking forward to seeing your character's completion.
Dezuel is a calm, calculating and scary character to some. He may speak in a soothing tone but the words he speak is meant to either cause them to lose their resolve and question their own ways, or to lure them into attacking him so that they've lower their guard providing him with a moment to attack them. He tries to not stain his hands or be led astray as he sees it. But his work is akin to that of a gardener, to tend to the garden he refers to as his world. Sometimes one have to pull some bad plants out in their roots however.
He is usually one who attempts to sway opponents with words prior to using his powers or weaponry. Either to have them stand down, join him or spread disbelief amongst them.
Some may consider him a friend, others may consider him a fiend. He is however out to do what needs to be done.
Plot Summary of Original content: Fantasy/Supernatural
Backstory:
In a world wracked by constant fear due to the existance of those who wield the inborn powers of the elements and threatens the established magic learning majority. (Consider it a fight between wizards and sorcerers, those who learn the power and those which have the innate ability to use them) In the world of Terilia a particular powerful elementalist (sorcerer) has arisen and taken control over the kingdom using his dark gifts and powerful artifacts to crush anyone standing up against him. Lord Galaron Deathmantle.
That is when a group of six set out to find a fabled magical sword which may help them in their quest to stop this tyrant from enslaving the world. The hero of the story is Izarain, a young man who is an elementalist himself. But he has no intention of letting this evil lord enslave all non-elementalists.
Facing the fear and prejudice of the common people along his adventure he nontheless try to do the right thing. He tries his best for elementalists and magicians to co-exist together.
Wielding the inborn powers of fire and lightning he sets out with five companions, Joshina, Jigg, Bell, Malaran and Dezuel to fight against this evil.
Season 2
After having obtained the fabled sword and defeated lord Galaron at his castle a new enemy appeared. His former companion Dezuel reveals himself as a elementalist himself and seizes the fabled sword from Izarain's hands. Proclaiming to the entire world the formation of ELF (Elementalist Liberation Front) which in turn causes elementalists to gather under his banner and begin to wage war against the magicians whom has oppressed and hunted them down.
Izarain desperately tries to stop this war alongside his remaining companions, claiming that they can all co-exist together and make the world a better place. He tries to reach out to his former ally whose hellbent on purging the world of those who will not accept the new natural order.
Weapons, Powers & Abilities:
Weapons:
- Astralus (Crystal sword, capable of absorbing and deflecting projectile and beam based energy attacks like lightning bolts)
- Bronze armor
Innate abilities
Water creation, Water manipulation, Ice creation, Ice manipulation
- Shape and create water and ice (A general summerize of how he can manipulate water. To form various tools or makeshift attacks. Such as just calling forth water to fill out the floor of a warehouse up to the ankles or to make his Tidal Wave power by amassing said water into one place, or manipulate raindrops to form up as orbs or twirling fountain streams midair to slam down on opponents at the force of a firemans firehose)
- Water orbs (Orbs of water he can throw in quick succession or float around him waiting to be lunged or used. Using his ice powers they can be transformed into jagged shards of ice - Whirlpool (Sends out a whirling pool of spinning water in an attempt to cause foes caught in it's path to stumble or get carried away with it for abit. When amplified by ice it shoots shards of ice in all directions as it spins. (Think the sorceress ice orb from Diablo 2)
- Hydro spiral (His strongest attack. An inversed cone of water, where the sharp end of the cone is pointed towards the opponent, it starts up close to him and then gradually can be extended forwards to strike a single point at a distance of ten metres. This is mainly used to knock someone into something else or off their feet. Like being hit by a very strong fireman hose.) When amplified by ice it instead becomes a large spear of ice intending on impaling whose on the receiving end. This is the highest precision attack he has at his disposal.
- Aqua Javelin (A spinning orb formed cone is sent forwards and can create a line of water either horizontally or vertically at the wielders will in either end of said orb measuring up to a length of five metres on each side. Much like the Hydro Spiral this attack is mostly used to intercept enemies by knocking them away to try knock them down, into things or plainly try knock them into uncounciousness. When amplified by ice it becomes a wall of ice instead)
- Aqua Disc (A quickly rotating disc of water which he can toss at foes. This particular move would try to siphon the stamina of the target, aiming for the chest to try pull the breath away from them. Like being hit in the stomach by a big heavy frisbee. When amplified by ice it becomes like throwing a circular spinning saw. Clearly more lethal than the former.)
- Barrier (Creates a large barrier of water around himself which may ward him against particular forms of attacks. He can move to his free will while using this power, it serves several functions however.
BARRIER VARIANT
- Freeze barrier (He changes the water barrier into ice. Meaning if he charges someone with the barrier on they've get hit by a big globe of hard ice, or in the case of him activating it while they are inside of said barrier then they are caught in a ball of ice instead)
- Jagged peaks (This is a defensive move which first forms up as a ball of ice around him and later makes large shards of ice to protrude outwards from it in all directions. Like a porcupine would to a would be predator.
- Tidal wave (His second strongest attack, and also the one demanding most out of him, which is meant to target a large number of enemies at once. The signs of him usually preparing it is him calling forth water to start filling up the ground or floor in a larger area. Whereof ater he manipulates it back and forth before gathering all the water near him and sending it at full force against his foe. The wave itself is usually around 3 metres tall.) He cannot turn this power into ice when the tidal wave has been gathered. He may however turn the ankle-high water into ice however to make it slippery to walk on.
- Cannot drown while councious (He separates the actual water from the oxygen in the water, meaning he can absorb the air in the water and thus being able to breathe)
- Walk on water and ice (He may walk on water at will, and also sink down into it when the need arises. He may also move on ice like how one would use iceskates)
- Water senses (He can sense movement in the water under his control if for example a person is swimming or stepping into pools of water under his control he may also use this power on water he has not made himself but it requires him to take control of it first. He also needs a direct path to anyone in touch with sais water and cannot just feel it by raindrops or someone with wet )
Author: Y.D Real Name: Yohansuno Denisu Age: 30 Gender: Male
@Dezuel Right right right, where do I begin? Well, here; that's a lot of powers. So I'd suggest sticking to one archetype, like the water magic. There's also some things that belong in "the standard anime package" everyone gets, for example tough and strong.
You also seem to have a misconception about how teleportation works; the moment the teleporter leaves his old space, they already appear in the new space. So cutting a teleporter in the location he was before is a definite impossibility.
No offense meant, but your thermal manipulation is on one hand lackluster and on the other broken. Speaking of breaking, I'm going to say no to any skills like shatter or heat(h)en that are meant to break someone's weapon. So once again; I suggest limiting down to aqua manipulation.
Then finally, about water manipulation; it's mostly fine, but there are a few things. Water bubble; Since a bubble is a hollow sphere of water you couldn't exactly "drown" in it, suffocate at most and that'd take a while. Moreover, due to it being water, one could simply step through. Next up, Aqua manipulation; no, you don't get to render opponents 'under your control' with a mere flick of a wrist. You'll have to persuade them in order to do so. Then the hydro whip, it mentions immobilizing, but water on its own has no immobilizing factor.
In short: Quite some changes will be due, but your powers should most definitely be streamlined.
Well, on the part for teleportation I meant it being used in the same way as in the Slayers universe. Akin to how the sword of light is able to cut down those who rely on travelling through the astral plane. (See Xelloss vs Valgaav or in the protagonists battle against Kanzel.)
As for the water bubble. It was just a name, but I suppose I should have written that it is just a big ball of water. (See Carlo Belfrond of Psychic Force 2012 or Kigai Yuto of Unmei no Tatakai).
The thermal manipulation were however the glue holding the stuff together and without that I might just wipe him and start from scratch.
If only one element/power is obtainable then perhaps revising previous posts may yield further gains.
See a character having darkness and light manipulation and being able to create said powers. Well ultimately it's up to you who you let in I suppose.
@Dezuel Multiple elements is fine, but they have to suit a theme. So fire and water would work, but once again; I'm not allowing instant-KOs and weapon breakers, for the sake of the characters being outside of their own universe, thus not so easily obtaining new magical weapons and the like.
@Medjedovic So many people ready to assault the clown... Yet no one's actually trying anything yet xD And you're one of them :D A V I C T I M , T H A T I S .
@Dezuel I'd expected that saying skills "like" would've been enough, but it seems not. Swordsmanship and quick are two skills that are pretty average for anime fighters, so those too, should be scrapped as they're something everyone'll have.?
Then, flight, I get that you want it, but with this description it makes no sense.
Now, I've also been considering the big blob of water, and have eventually decided against suffocation-based attacks. I know it wasn't in the rules, but bear with me here.
The blob had one notable thing that I found rather out of place; a shield against fire. Why is that a feature for a blob rather than the barrier? (barriers being meant to block things.) Instead your barrier has this odd thing where... It... Grabs people? Like, whut? How? Water doesn't realy get a lot of grip on people, to begin with.
I'd also suggest changing water sense to work with water he's in contact with, so that he can actually use water not created by his own ability.
In other news, the format for mentioning is [ @Username ]
@Dezuel Ah, also V E R Y I M P O R T A N T , death is permanent, so your sword is a no-go now. And of course, the armor wouldn't literally be as light as a very or as tough as the toughest metal, for that metal is stupidly tough. It'll be pretty light and tough, though.