<Snipped quote by Rtron>

Gods have mercy. That was quite a read! Now I really have a feeling of what kind of person Nanine is! You tied everything together beautifully.

@DearTrickster Are you familiar with the FB Page, Classical Art Memes??

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No I am not. Is it everything I hope it is?

I swear it’s not baby cows [+]

Balroth gro-Umanak by James

*Fantastic job on the physical description of Balroth; it was easy to immediately get a sense of what the character looked like, his mannerisms and gait, and aspects of his personality shine through through the detail in his appearance. Not a critique; I just wanted to say I’m impressed - Dervs

*Minor detail in the Smithing skill section; you wrote hooves as an item he can make. I think you might have meant Horseshoes - Dervs

*I literally have no problems with this sheet! It is extremely well thought out, you’ve got a great writing style that’s easy for me to see and envision Balroth as an orc, and a person. - Foxey

*I love how he turned from the bullied tiny kid and basically did a 180 for expectations and suddenly became the supreme version of the bullies he hated and became enthralled by it. The fact that it was this newfound hubris, something of his own making, that set him up for spectacular failure is something I don’t see enough of and I think it really helped set the stage for the decades ahead. His cycles of self-loathing and self-destructive behaviour that completely erode the successes he made in life are captivating reads and it’s an incredible amount of character building in even a few paragraphs, and in the end it was forced responsibility to care for someone other than himself that tempered him. Honestly, I love this character. You knocked it out of the park. - Dervs

Ingar Brolna by Genbor:

Ingar [+]

*The name sounds more Nordic than Breton, Breton names tend to be Anglo or French sounding since High Rock is influenced by those cultures

*Minor note, Solstheim is isn’t actually a part of Skyrim, it’s technically a part of Morrowind. It has no associations with the College of Winterhold. If Ingar wanted to go there specifically for Stalhrim, that’s one thing, but High Rock probably has much more adequate magical institutions than the College, although the College is known to be a lot more lenient on rules.
*
It would be nice to know some information about this family and associates, there’s not a lot to go off of other than he went to places to study and learn skills. It would be interesting to know how he gets along with people, what kind of friends he makes, if he grew due to the influence of others, etc.

*There’s a lot of solid foundation to the sheet, although there isn’t a lot of challenges he’s faced, which aren’t a bad thing (it’s nice to see someone who isn’t getting their start via trauma!), but there doesn’t seem to be a lot of situations where he was particularly challenged past the usual academic study and application cycle. Was there anything in the College that he attempted that backfired? Did he get caught up in mischief? What about back in High Rock?

*Since High Rock was a part of the Empire during the Great War and Stormcloak rebellion, was Ingar’s family affected? What were his opinions on world events? Did they help him decide what to do, or did he just see it all as problems that were a world away?
What made him decide to leave the College for the expedition? Money, archaeological interest, finding artifacts for the College?

<Snipped quote by Dervish>

Thank you for the kind words! They're very much appreciated and I'm glad you like Balroth as much as I enjoyed putting him together. I knew what kind of person I wanted him to become at the end of the ride but not quite how we'd get there when I started writing his history, so the major plot points of his life were decided more or less organically as I encountered them by asking myself how someone with that kind of upbringing and childhood would react to trauma. I'm glad the sheet's length wasn't a problem for you. I've had people complain about that to me in the past.

And yes, I did mean horsehoes. I'll rectify that in a bit.

<Snipped quote by Dervish>

Thank you all for the critiques and pointers, I'll get to working on my CS right away. As I've said before I'm not actually very familiar with TES lore and places, and I forgot to read the bit about Solstheim being given away to Morrowind by the High King.

I usually prefer to start with a foundation and then flesh my characters out through RP, but these pointers help greatly in that regard. And yes, while they are fun reads usually, I don't think EVERY character has to have some kind of trauma so I didn't give mine one. I did have snippets in there which were challenging him, but I'll elaborate on them now.

<Snipped quote by Rtron>

Me: "I mean the sheet probably won't be THAT good."
*opens*
Me:

Hider [+]

@Rtronone thing I forgot to mention is that House Valois is the royal house of Wayrest. Nani’s papi said that the Tilharts are the ‘true rulers of Wayrest.’ Product of his delusions or?

@Rtron Looks good! Although you still have 8 spells. Also, Shaft's the authority on High Rock/ Wayrest. You'll have to clear him on the political stuff. But great job! Speedy and awesome revision.

@Dervish@MacabreFox

I'm super glad (and relieved ^_^') you guys liked my sheet!

I may or may not have grinned and danced

I was looking over my sheet again and saw that I want to make some changes in her belongings. Would that be alright? Mostly it was repetition, and I saw she had potion making stuff when she's not really into alchemy..

Unless it makes sense for her to know a lone potion recipe? If that's fine then I'll keep it there ^_^

<Snipped quote by Greenie>

Whatever makes sense to you! I don’t think it’s a problem in particular, as long as you notify us of changes made to the inventory, it’s quite alright. We wouldn’t want an Ebony sword suddenly appearing in there though!

<Snipped quote by MacabreFox>

Drat!

Haha nah, just wanted to remove the repeat of bow/arrows and add some gold in :'3 I'm trying to figure out how much would make sense without being too cumbersome/noisy to carry.

*waves*

HI GUYS, WE FINALLY READ OVER ALL THE SHEETS!

Keep in mind these aren't final reviews but are mostly just a point by point tally of things we think need to be addressed or we really liked. It's in no particular order and some of us had more critiques than others. Use it as a guideline to do final polishing for Monday.

Judah Callisar by DearTrickster:

Judena [+]

*8 spells listed instead of 7

*I have already been over the sheet before, and I think everything’s pretty solid! I’ll leave it to the other GMs if you have things to add or point out - Dervs

*There is mention of her siblings “clutch mates” but nothing much else. Did she get along with them? Any that didn’t like her? Did she ever have to stand up for them? (I’m not familiar with Argonians by any means) - Foxey

*What made the explorers choose Judah? Would no one else act as a guide for them? - Foxey

*How did her family take Judena’s choice of suddenly leaving to head off with the mages? Did they encourage her, did they wish for her not to go?

*How did Judena’s family handle her marrying a woman?

*After the relationship with Leonora ended, “she wandered from province to province” perhaps list/specify which ones she visited? Has she visited them all, or are there ones she hasn’t visited?

*Judena is a very interesting character! Kudos to you for breaking outside of the mold and giving her a mental disability with the short term amnesia, she evokes a lot of sympathy from me.

How Argonians go through maturity is rather debated and poorly understood; sometimes it is stated that when an Argonian grows through infancy the Hist sap that it licks from the tree determines its gender and appearance. Ja-Reet's case somewhat renders this moot: as he was born away from the trees and matured without the sap, becoming an adult male without the influence of the Hist. While there have been some theories on "life-cycles," stating that Argonians might change genders throughout their lives, this may really be a reference to their reincarnation cycle with the hatchlings and the Hist trees giving them their souls (deceased male soul entering a female hatchling in the new generation, thus creating a new "life-cycle" and a change in gender for the reincarnated soul as they are reborn, etc).[source?]

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I definitely skimped out on the family details for Jude, in hopes to try to keep her history concise lol, _whoops. I'll make note of her relationships with her family.

I'm not super sure on how argonians feel about same sex marriages or relationships. This little paragraph from the wiki had me believing they have a unique view since gender for argonians is pretty unconventional.

<Snipped quote>

Again though I can expand on that a bit to make that clear for her and her family.