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Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by That1Guy
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That1Guy Sunbro Solaire says: / " Git gud skrub "

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Alright, try #2 @Dervish
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Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by DearTrickster
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DearTrickster

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Fixed my stuff too!
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by MacabreFox
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MacabreFox Wee Witchy Woo

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Fixed my stuff too!


Great job!

I have no other qualms with your sheet, you did an excellent job answering and elaborating on everything I pointed out.

Also, about the provinces she visited, I had thought that because her age, it was plausible for her to visit all of them, but I wasn’t sure if she really had, so thanks for clarifying on that part.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by That1Guy
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That1Guy Sunbro Solaire says: / " Git gud skrub "

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Question @Dervish or @MacabreFox @Leidenschaft

In oblivion, detect life spells extend to almost anything with and even without a heartbeat ( undead ) Is this something that will be attached to the rp, or will detect life be effective on only living beings?
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by MacabreFox
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MacabreFox Wee Witchy Woo

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Before we talk about magic, I have some things that need to be mentioned and addressed. I'll leave the magic up to Dervs and Schaft.
HI GUYS, WE FINALLY READ OVER ALL THE SHEETS!


Zevran by That1guy





Alright, try #2 @Dervish


Good job on elaborating on his personality, and giving him a family name.

Family Origins: His family seemed to crop up out of nowhere, rising on the success of a grandfather now lost to time. With enough influence on trade to gain riches, but not enough to become anything of true importance, they were stuck in a safe zone somewhere in the middle. As long as nobody did anything stupid nobody had problems with them, they had little effect on anything but the caravans and such they controlled, and floated healthily on the profit that came from it.


This entire block of text should be moved to the History section. The Family Origins section should really only contain where he was born and lived, i.e, Imperial City, Cyrodiil, or Windhelm, Skyrim for example.

I personally feel as if you didn't really answer or elaborate on anything that we asked you to in the first place, if anything, now I have more questions pertaining to his background.

We have mentioned several times in the OOC that the Mages Guild no longer exists.

I’d like to see his relationship with his family fleshed out more, what reason did he have to just stop concerning himself with them? What was his family’s reaction? - Schaft


I saw that you expanded on the Family and Associations section, but I feel that while you explained their relations to him, there is no explanation or elaboration of them in the History section, you left that out entirely. You mention that there is a family business, but you didn't say what kind?

For years he learned, distancing himself from everybody In his family save his mother, until eventually one day he disappeared entirely, stealing gold and several needed supplies from home, including his father's elven dagger. He travelled for a good time, picking up a trick or two where he could and immersing himself in the libraries of any mage college he could wriggle his way into, only spending a month or two at the most in any college he came across.

He spent three years wandering, what were some of the things he encountered?

There's a lot here, what age was he when he left home? Why did he steal gold and supplies, along with the his father's dagger? "He travelled for a good time," what is a good time exactly? You mention him immersing himself in the libraries of any mage college he could get into, but you don't state where he went, or what he learned. Also, during this period of travel, there’s not much on his experiences. Did he ever get lost, or sick? Did he ever get robbed by bandits? How did he handle interacting with people and the environment once he left home?

As of right now, I'm concerned that you're going to have a hard time writing similar quality pieces when this game launches. Your CS in general, even with the changes you've made, still isn't meeting the same hard effort everyone else has put into their applications so far. If you can do a sheet that excels by Monday, great!
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Lurking Krog
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Lurking Krog Caffeinated Lurker.

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Finally done and ready for review.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Zhaliora
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Zhaliora Fallen Angel

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Working on my CS but am having some issues with my history. xD
I know what I want, but....distractions too stronk.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Greenie
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Greenie

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Working on my CS but am having some issues with my history. xD
I know what I want, but....distractions too stronk.


Time to disconnect the internet.

*serious nod*
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Lurking Krog
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@Zhaliora I know the feeling. Took me longer than I wanted to get thus one done.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BurningCold
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BurningCold Magical Bastard

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When a conjurer summons something like a dremora are we saying it plucks a random one each time? Or...?
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Dervish
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Dervish Let's get volatile

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@That1Guy Adding to what Fox said, there's definitely a few things that still need addressing.


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Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by LadyTabris
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Incoming: spoiled brat. no tragic backstories here (I suppose it's yet to come)

I made up a skill for her expertise in Dwemer things and language


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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Leidenschaft
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Leidenschaft Relax, only half-dead

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Incoming: spoiled brat. no tragic backstories here (I suppose it's yet to come)

I made up a skill for her expertise in Dwemer things and language



Oh, good, a spoiled Altmer girl. I've only met one before.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by DearTrickster
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DearTrickster

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When the post starts with "Incoming: spoiled brat." I am immediately of e x c i t e.

I love snobby or bratty characters <3.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Leidenschaft
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Leidenschaft Relax, only half-dead

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@BurningColdSummoning the same Dremora each time would probably be far too strenuous of a thing to put on the mind. Probably why summoning lesser daedra like atronachs is a somewhat less advanced skill, and summoning a familiar is always default a wolf spirit- taking something's spirit that's already pre-disposed to domestication and following orders.

I could spit the shit about the theory of magic and how it works all day, but because I'm wary of people making bad fanfic tier gimmicks in their CSs- 'I have a literal demon from hell as my bff, guys', let's just settle on plucking a different consciousness from Oblivion each time a Dremora is summoned.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by BurningCold
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BurningCold Magical Bastard

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Here's a toast to who might be the most hated character on the expedition, should he be fortunate enough to join.


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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Dervish
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Dervish Let's get volatile

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Look at all this reading you're making me ignore for Overwatch.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Greenie
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Greenie

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An Altmer!

Even I know I must hate them with all my being!

:P
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Lurking Krog
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@Greenie Two of them really.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BurningCold
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BurningCold Magical Bastard

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The degenerates will learn their place @LadyTabris
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