Is that what the Solar System for this world looks like?
@Double Capybara @WrongEndoftheRainbow Took some liberties meshing the three of our views of the solar system together for continuity, let me know if it fits.the Mineworks (Meinn-obrach) - Morning Star. A bright planet, first from the sun. It was terraformed by Jvan, and named for its volcanic forges, organic tunnels and land-reefs, and substantial mineral wealth. Acid rain, flesh-melting temperatures, extreme winds and pressures abound, making Auricolor the preferred site of actual mining. Biodiversity is high.
Salvation (Slainte) - The second planet and its two moons, together called Ilunabar, is a place of incandescent sulphur, shining with a brilliant burgundy hue. Its moons are very large, giving the appearance of a tertiary system, but most of the mass lies in Salvation itself. Its colour has fascinated astronomers for centuries, but none of the dwarven explorers have yet returned. It is said to be the lair of the goddess of sirens. Whether its danger is an enchantment or simply the combination of curiousity and a deceptive gravity well is yet to be seen.
Da-chananach (Two Tongues) - A binary planet whose orbit is stable but whose atmosphere is not yet in equilibrium. Long streams of gas span between the planets and in the circle of their orbit.
Galbar (Galbar) - Mostly harmless.
Lonely Soul (Soul Aonair) - Already nearly habitable even without magic, this is Galbar's somewhat smaller sister planet, and the fourth solitary planet. Nitrogenous atmosphere with liquid water and atmospheric CO2 released by volcanoes. It already seems to harbour life- simple photosynthetic bacteria have existed on Galbar almost since the beginning, thanks to Jvan, and various godly explosions have seen fit to propel them into space. Some of them survived.
Aonair has long been associated with Zephyrion, for unknown reasons. It certainly is a place of dynamic elements. Perhaps some Flickers have manifested in the syzygy of the Celestial Citadel between Galbar and Aonair...
Ard-shoitheach (the High Shipyard) - The wreck of a former planet and its moons. Time will tell whether it is destined to re-form or disintegrate into a stellar ring under Athair's immense gravity. It is fast becoming the favourite dumping ground of Dundee's excess population, and any Shamed who outlive their usefulness. The reasoning is that they will either form a profitable colony and redeem themselves or die in the cold. Both are acceptable. *cough* Australia
Athair (Father) - A gas giant, predominantly hydrogen by mass. Fifth solitary planet. High gravity and lack of a surface makes it extremely dangerous. Its moons, however, are rather safe.
Nighean (Daughter) - Ice Daughter. The largest moon of Athair, it has been terraformed by Jvan. Details are in the Jvan awakening post. Very cold, very radioactive, but vividly and dangerously alive.
<Snipped quote by LokiLeo789>
She's not an ingame character as far as I'm aware. Though she may well become so >.>
Also, @WrongEndoftheRainbow
Edit: tfw Galbar has survived moons being chucked at it, gods warring, space invasions, and who knows what else... gets wrecked in a space car crash
Civilisations without a god-king of some sort were under risk of being subjugated by those who did.
<Snipped quote by A Teknallian Observation>
Shet.
So Tauga is god-queen of three Islands in the Metatic (the islands of Axotal, Ihuian and Xiloxoch - I assume the realm as a whole is called 'Tlaca'? Or is it 'Amestris'?- hence 'Marquise of Amestris). The map above shows about five(?) islands; which ones are Tauga's? I'm halfway down p.27, things may well have change since >.< just gimme the most up to date data
This is just a quick reflection section. Feel free to skip it. I just need to sort a few thoughts out regarding this arc. I made several mistakes and would like to learn from them.
I feel as though I was trying to do too many things at once and had my priorities backwards. Originally, this whole thing was solely purposed for Minus to explore the strange behaviours it expressed in its various appearances.
Minus was meant to be an emotionless flesh-and-clay golem who, paradoxically, could fully emulate emotional people as disguises. Its behaviour was only meant to glitch out due to Toun's deliberate shuffling off of various corrupting thoughts. The full motivation for this beyond what has been revealed in this last post is still technically spoiler territory. Regardless, I wanted those dances and weird feelings of Minus' to be drawn out to the point of conflicting with Toun and Majus. There was also lots of ambiguity to explore with regards to personal identity (can Minus' tell the difference between its disguises' feelings and its own feelings? How will either change or be influenced by the other? etc.).
This main idea could have been executed much better. I blame that mainly on lack of forethought in planning and the wobbly-armed changes I made to the story partway through. That is to say nothing with it competing with Cinead and Inga trying to work out where the hell they are, how the hell they got to where they are, what their powers are as essentially living artefacts, and who the hell Minus actually is.
It didn't help that I really should have developed Inga, Cinead, and Minus with another few posts before getting them together. I even could have made up for lost ground by having the characters have flashbacks at the beginning of some of the posts in this arc. Perhaps I will still do that later to flesh them out. The characters are not being retired, after all. Other conflicts are coming up soon.
Hell, I could use Minus and Cinead's lack of development to flesh out into a conflict between them and threaten their relationship. That could redeem it a little. It would also make their bond (and Mira's new panoply of feelings) more realistic.
Anyway, moving more specifically to Cinead. He was originally meant to be a shallow foil for Minus' development. That was a mistake. He needed to be developed properly to bounce of Mira realistically. As a result, their relationship, while feeling sincere enough in the prose (I have to be nice to myself for some things), is lacking substance. It's a kind of fiat love, not backed by much. Cinead's due for much more development in the coming posts, not least of which because his nature as a primarch may impact him a tad harder soon.
Inga was a secondary character but still a rogue element. I feel she was developed better in personality, but she was held back by her friggin' twin brother being two-dimensional, as I outlined above. I had to treat her carefully, and I think she came out okay. She may get her own little arcs in the future. Of all the characters in this arc, I'm happiest with her, ironically. Her thought processes make the most sense to me in the way her anxieties have influenced her. God damn is she annoying to write dialogue for, though.
So, in the end, perhaps a couple of extra posts to flesh things out could have been added, the characters needed a better foundation to arc away from, and Cinead and Mira's relationship will have to pay for itself with a few bumps in the road. This isn't so bad in hindsight. It's all learning. Even if I should have done better, there were some outside influences that caused be to rush some aspects of this arc. Me moving countries soon is the biggest elephant in the room. I should recognise such things next time and set more realistic expectations for myself.
But were there good things? I think so. The prose seemed okay, the pacing was better than my other attempts at romance arcs, I filled a bunch of plot holes as they arose, and the arc has ended right about where I wanted it to. Hell, Niciel now knows about Toun's previous crush on her, that's a win! If nothing else, I can use this foundation to make the next changes to these characters more noticable in their coming arcs.
Most importantly, this was still fun. I can keep having fun off the back of this.
Anyway, if any of you guys read this rant for whatever reason, please let me know if you have an opinion. I do want to improve and this was a bumpy ride. Maybe you guys can learn from my mistakes. At the very least, I hope this arc was enjoyable, even if I'm not sure I gave Minus the full justice it deserves.
Pfeh, I'll explore it later, I guess. No need to act too seriously about a play-by-post where we all pretend to be insecure gods in a dysfunctional, destructive celestial family that routinely genocides mortals (mostly hain) in the wake of our domestic incidents. I need to get back into the rotation of my other stories and get them up to date with the latest turn timeline. Read you later, dudes!
And in a still grove under the shadow of Old Bark-Skin stood three cracked stones, which had been broken from a single source, and yet found each other again. At the painted border they leant on each other as one; From that triangle fluttered a single cherry blossom, and the sound of a lute.
There a little white spider spun its web between the stones of the Gate Unguarded, and listened for the footsteps of those who would wander and find peace.
In front of the Gate Unguarded silently rose a pillar of white porcelain from the ground. It ascended from the stone as a sharp cylinder, fifteen human arm-span fathoms tall and three fathoms in diameter, perfectly smooth, and inscribed with red Tounic calligraphy that read in a helix from the top of its length to the bottom.
Right. I DEMAND THESE SO-CALLED 'SUMMARITANS' WHO ARE POSTING 10,000 KHARACTER SUMMARIES BE PUNISHED! OFF WITH THEIR BLUDY 'EADS!- FIRST AMONGST THEM: CYCLONE.
<Snipped quote by Muttonhawk>
You may not have noticed, but I have been watching Minus' development since I read the episode with Mafie...
<Snipped quote by Kho>
no moar summaries at all?
k
<Snipped quote by Cyclone>
Summaries are an ingenius invention!- they are a significant contribution to and advancement in the technology of power RPing. Your attempts at undermining them and driving us back into a horrific age of summary-less darkness must be punished severely - we will send you to the rovaick and inform them you are a heretic.