1 Guest viewing this page
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by HachiRoku
Raw
Avatar of HachiRoku

HachiRoku back from the dead!

Member Seen 4 mos ago

Has my character been checked/accepted yet?

Not the GM but it'd probably help to update some things and repost it, just so nobody has to scroll all the way back.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Carlyle
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Carlyle

Carlyle 満潮

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@Jay Kalton
Oh holy crap, I just remembered that his sister is named Mari too. I was just going off the whole nearly matching personalities and hobbies thing, but that gives it a whole new level! Still, Igarashi Mari is kind of a tired office drone at the moment, so they're relatively different enough for Ren not to make that mistake.

Now, as for the possibility that he might just decide to consciously make her his unofficial new sister is another matter entirely...


To be fair, I've accidentally called my own grandmother mom once quite a few years ago.

Has my character been checked/accepted yet?


Not to my knowledge. It'd probably be best to do as @HachiRoku said too.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Compulsive86
Raw
Avatar of Compulsive86

Compulsive86 The obsessive

Member Seen 6 yrs ago

[quote=@HachiRoku]
<Snipped quote by Compulsive86>
Not the GM but it'd probably help to update some things and repost it, just so nobody has to scroll all the way back.

<Snipped quote by Compulsive86>

Not to my knowledge. It'd probably be best to do as @HachiRoku said too.


Will do!!



Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Skelace
Raw
Avatar of Skelace

Skelace Assertively Oblivious

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

I'm just gonna slide this in here before it's too late...



Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Carlyle
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Carlyle

Carlyle 満潮

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

[quote=@Compulsive86]
<Snipped quote by Compulsive86>
Not the GM but it'd probably help to update some things and repost it, just so nobody has to scroll all the way back.

<Snipped quote by Compulsive86>

Not to my knowledge. It'd probably be best to do as @HachiRoku said too.


Will do!!



You'll have to wait for @Inkarnate to fully review your CS, but let me add some pointers.

1) Appearance
The appearance section still needs some work. As it stands currently, it feels like a rough summary rather than something fluid. I get what he looks like, but it's missing that "descriptive flair" that everyone else has for their character's appearance. I also believe that Japanese high schools have rules in regards to piercings in general, but you would have to check in with Ink about it.


2) Miscellaneous
You have two miscellaneous sections. One is labeled "miscellaneous," while the other is "other information." Please use the latter as it was provided with the CS template and combine the information.


3) Disorders
I really wish you would describe his disorders rather than link what he has. Is his personality a result of it, or is Hisashi naturally like that? More importantly, when/how did he get diagnosed?


4) Home Life
I've heard divorce in Japan is generally looked down upon. Perhaps adding a touch about how the divorce affected the family and their feelings regarding it would be a good touch.


I'd also double-check with Ink if your purple is readable. It's fine on my screen, but dark colors on gray don't always mesh well.

I'm just gonna slide this in here before it's too late...



Well, Kotone has a track buddy now.

Anyway, my only concerns is the amount of gifs and the football club.



In regards to the football club, I'm not really sure if Japan is really into football. I know they love baseball, but I've never heard of anything major about football. I think they might play rugby, but I'd have to look into some research about it.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Skelace
Raw
Avatar of Skelace

Skelace Assertively Oblivious

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

Well, Kotone has a track buddy now.

Anyway, my only concerns is the amount of gifs and the football club.



In regards to the football club, I'm not really sure if Japan is really into football. I know they love baseball, but I've never heard of anything major about football. I think they might play rugby, but I'd have to look into some research about it.


Blegh I thought I shrunk those down enough earlier. If that's all that's holding me back I'll go ahead and give them the snip.

As for the football, I meant like soccer. The kid just loves to run. But that's another quick change... Is this better?



Edited: Here's the Gifs at a more appropriate size. I think I did it right this time.



1x Like Like
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Hero
Raw
Avatar of Hero

Hero Sincerest of Knights

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Anyway, my only concerns is the amount of gifs and the football club.


2x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Althiel
Raw
Avatar of Althiel

Althiel Advocate of Waifu Smiles™

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

GIFs gif life to a Character Sheet.
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Compulsive86
Raw
Avatar of Compulsive86

Compulsive86 The obsessive

Member Seen 6 yrs ago

[quote=@Sola]
<Snipped quote by Compulsive86>
Not the GM but it'd probably help to update some things and repost it, just so nobody has to scroll all the way back.

<Snipped quote by Compulsive86>

Not to my knowledge. It'd probably be best to do as @HachiRoku said too.


Will do!!



You'll have to wait for @Inkarnate to fully review your CS, but let me add some pointers.

1) Appearance
The appearance section still needs some work. As it stands currently, it feels like a rough summary rather than something fluid. I get what he looks like, but it's missing that "descriptive flair" that everyone else has for their character's appearance. I also believe that Japanese high schools have rules in regards to piercings in general, but you would have to check in with Ink about it.


2) Miscellaneous
You have two miscellaneous sections. One is labeled "miscellaneous," while the other is "other information." Please use the latter as it was provided with the CS template and combine the information.


3) Disorders
I really wish you would describe his disorders rather than link what he has. Is his personality a result of it, or is Hisashi naturally like that? More importantly, when/how did he get diagnosed?


4) Home Life
I've heard divorce in Japan is generally looked down upon. Perhaps adding a touch about how the divorce affected the family and their feelings regarding it would be a good touch.


I'd also double-check with Ink if your purple is readable. It's fine on my screen, but dark colors on gray don't always mesh well.


Thank you for all the advice! It helped a whole lot and I edited it to go along with all of it! You are very nice. I just edited my original cs.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by mickilennial
Raw
GM
Avatar of mickilennial

mickilennial The Elder Fae

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

Blegh I thought I shrunk those down enough earlier. If that's all that's holding me back I'll go ahead and give them the snip.

As for the football, I meant like soccer. The kid just loves to run. But that's another quick change... Is this better?



Edited: Here's the Gifs at a more appropriate size. I think I did it right this time.


Accepted.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by mickilennial
Raw
GM
Avatar of mickilennial

mickilennial The Elder Fae

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago


We already have a lot of characters with illness or illness-related backstories, so I'm not really sure how commonplace we want these things to be present among the cast. Your write-up of the personality is admittedly improved, but the backstory seems a little messy. There's also a lot of awkward phrases and typographic errors and that's without considering the fact you are unable to format the sheet – though I will reassure you that said formatting isn't a “accept or reject” situation. I will have to see what Sola thinks about the character before I make a final decision.
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Carlyle
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Carlyle

Carlyle 満潮

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@Skelace Oh, before I forget: since Kotone and Shiko both like track, do you want to have sort of connection? Maybe they're running buddies or something, especially since they seem destined for the track team (I figure it'd be co-ed, but I'd have to check in with Ink on that).
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Skelace
Raw
Avatar of Skelace

Skelace Assertively Oblivious

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@Sola Shiko would love to be running buddies with Kotone! Especially if they're on/trying to make the same team. (Assuming it is co-ed). Running could be a hobby they both share it sounds like.
1x Like Like
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Carlyle
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Carlyle

Carlyle 満潮

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@Sola Shiko would love to be running buddies with Kotone! Especially if they're on/trying to make the same team. (Assuming it is co-ed). Running could be a hobby they both share it sounds like.


That works, then. I talked to Ink about it and he said he'd have to do some more research on high school-level track, but we did find out there are co-ed teams in Japan.


1x Like Like
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Althiel
Raw
Avatar of Althiel

Althiel Advocate of Waifu Smiles™

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

3x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Carlyle
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Carlyle

Carlyle 満潮

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago



If you want Ink to post the IC OP, first you have to do a blood ritual where you sacrifice a goat to the demon overlords of Escarion to gain power in order to defeat the jingoistic Xargon hordes, otherwise the gods of Pariah Online Enter will forget to tell you people die when they are killed.

No, but seriously, Ink will get to it when he can. He has a lot on his plate, although he did say he was working on posts. I'll talk to him about an estimated ETA later.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Althiel
Raw
Avatar of Althiel

Althiel Advocate of Waifu Smiles™

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

You know me by this point. I ain't rushing ya'll in the slightest. I was just bored so I made a meme. Take your time. :3 Gives me more free time to procrastinate.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Carlyle
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Carlyle

Carlyle 満潮

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

You know me by this point. I ain't rushing ya'll in the slightest. I was just bored so I made a meme. Take your time. :3 Gives me more free time to procrastinate.


Procrastinate by finishing that Enter CS, innit?
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Althiel
Raw
Avatar of Althiel

Althiel Advocate of Waifu Smiles™

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

It's already done and accepted. Pfft, 2ez.
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by mickilennial
Raw
GM
Avatar of mickilennial

mickilennial The Elder Fae

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

The IC will be up when it is done.
1x Like Like
↑ Top
1 Guest viewing this page
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet