@Stella light@Luna Cloud I understand your intentions may have been pure in your posts, but this RP is not a "join as and where you want" RP. We have over 380 some-odd pages of story and posts that, while not mandatory reading, you should consider. The IC is also not where you post an application, that belongs here, in the OOC. If it's approved, you can move it to the Character Tab. Simply put, we don't appreciate you just coming in and posting what you want.
Name: Syleste Luna Vishali Angel Elizabeth Cerideyn Osseena Aurora Trisha Nadeeka Gresilda Morgana Bellafonte
Age: 13
Birthday: 21/11
Magic: Aura Magic Caster Magic that allows Syleste to manifest her will as a malleable force known as an ‘aura’. In addition to being highly sensitive to the magical auras of others, Syleste can bend the physical limits of her own body with her magic.
The most common use of aura is enhancing the body’s strength and durability by blanketing aura around the desired body parts. This allows for Syleste to manipulate the properties of her strikes by how she shapes her aura. For example, she can give her punches slashing properties. This effect can extend to held objects, turning even mundane trinkets into deadly weapons.
Whilst Aura Magic is very versatile, it is a force that requires great mental prowess as well as magic power. Concentration is key and an unfocused mind will have difficulty manipulating aura effectively.
With more learned use, an Aura Mage will be able to project their aura in various ways for a diverse repertoire of magical abilities.
Magic Level: D
History: While Syleste doesn't tend to delve too deeply into her origins, once you get past the exaggerations and outright lies she tells one would find out that she is from a very rich family. Whether her name is her real name or not, however, remains a mystery. One probably wouldn't be surprised if the girl had made her name up, to be frank. After some sort of fight with her parents, she decided to run away and live life her own way. What the fight was exactly changes every time you ask. You know kids, they think they know what's best for them and chuck a fuss when they don't get their way.
Some point during this, she met an elderly mage whom she tried to cheat in a card game. Though she was terribly obvious with how she went about it, the man went along with it and managed to beat her regardless by turning the cheat against her. Afterwards, the man decides to take the young girl under his wing and teaches her magic for a year or so before he suffered a heart attack and passed away.
With nothing more than the clothes on her back, the magic her teacher taught her and a few of said teachers belongings she made her way to Magnolia where she was found by Emily and 'taken home' by the strange girl. The rest is history.
Personality: A chatterbox with seemingly endless amounts of energy. Syleste is the living incarnation of 'curiosity killed the cat', getting into more incidents than one could possibly count because of her antics. Loves pranking others, being quite the jokester. She also seems to have a lot of confidence in herself, overconfidence to be honest. This coupled with her lack of respect and care for the rules can land her in hot water quite often. She also seems to have quite a few delusional thoughts.
Guild and guild mark location: N/A
Team Members: N/A
Three Strengths: 1. Her small size helps in getting into cramped spaces and to get lost in crowds
2. She is pretty resourceful and streetsmart
3. She has a very good memory
Three Weaknesses: 1. She has a habit of spacing out
2. Trouble magnet, and if it isn't drawn to her she is drawn to it
3. She has poor concentration abilities, seriously this kid is distracted by an ant crawling near her
Greatest Love: Exploring and enjoying her freedom
Motivation: To live life her way
Additional Details: Her 'teacher' left behind a book explaining the usages and teachings of the magic, which she still carries to this day. As well as his own notes on the magic, such as concentration techniques and the like. So that even with his passing, she can still learn about her magic and teach herself to an extent.
In hindsight, posting in the character tab was not a good idea. Here you go.
Name: Leon D'Encant, The Freezing Blade Age: 25 Birthday: February 21 Magic:
Requip Magic. Leon specializes in rifles, pistols, fencing blades, and parrying daggers. Leon's Requip time is about fifteen seconds, so he tends to use High Speed to evade assaults or get to cover before he Requips.
List of Weapons:
Swords: --> Frost: A saber with blue ornamentation and a basket hilt. Frost is not named for any ice powers it possesses, but rather the fact that the blade induces paralysis in the part of the body it cut. As it is magical, the effect can be cancelled by Frost's wielder at any time, and will eventually wear off. This is where Leon's moniker of "The Freezing Blade" comes from, as it is the main tool he uses when he wants to bring in a criminal alive.
--> Heartpiercer: A seemingly ordinary cup-hilted rapier that hides a deadly surprise. The name comes from the fact that it has been enchanted with density-enhancing magics to have a seemingly-impossible amount of mass compressed into its small frame. While it takes more strength to wield than an ordinary sword of its shape and size, so Leon can get tired quicker when holding it, it is also enhanced with a series of Lacrima-powered Air Magic stabilizers in the hilt to heavily reduce the strain on Leon's sword arm and provide extra power for thrusts. It is one of Leon's deadliest weapons: At full power, it can pierce through even magically-enhanced armor.
--> Sigma: A saber with a sigma symbol on the ricasso, modified to have a sharp point, with a Lacrima slot in the hilt, capable of Elemental Lacrimas. Right now, he has Fire, Ice, Lightning, Poison and Air. This is one of his "default" weapons, due to its adaptability and non-specialized nature. Slotting in a Lacrima causes magical, circuit-like veins along the hilt and edge to change to the corresponding color, and changes the blade's properties accordingly. Fire superheats the blade and allows it to burn those it cuts, even melting through solid steel. Ice chills the blade to a frightening degree, causing frostbite on a slice and seriously weakening an enemy. Poison is self-explanatory. Lightning electrifies the blade, making it ideal for neutralizing a target quickly and efficiently. Air makes the blade vastly lighter than normal, allowing Leon to slice and stab much more energetically, as well as releases arcs of cutting wind on a slash should Leon choose to allow it.
--> Thought and Memory: A pair of twin estocs, modified to have a cutting edge, capable of being psychically-controlled by the wielder, enabling Leon to fight from a distance or even engage two enemies at once.
Daggers: --> Aegis: A maingauche-style parrying dagger that, as long as Leon is holding onto it, produces a magical barrier that protects the wearer from harm. It can obviously be broken with enough force, though the shield regenerates after a few seconds. --> Cronus: A swordbreaker-style dagger that causes the user's perception of time to slow down by a factor of three at will, enabling them to perform incredible feats of skill. --> Famine: A parrying dagger with a cruciform guard that physically weakens any opponent struck with it.
Guns: His Requip magic works differently for firearms. He has a sane amount magical guns for a Requip user: A hand cannon, two semi-automatic pistols (usually wielded one at a time), a shotgun, a sniper rifle, an assault rifle, two SMGs, and a rocket launcher. However, he has differing ammo types for each gun, powered by included Lacrima, that he can swap out on the fly after Requipping, and can summon more ammo if he's running low. These are: --> Fire Bullets --> Ice Bullets --> Lightning Bullets --> Light Bullets (these act more like lasers) --> Darkness Bullets (these coat the area around the target in pitch-black darkness for disorienting an opponent or providing cover. It can be lit from the inside, however.) --> Blast Bullets (cause explosions, obviously) --> Flashbang Bullets (These work just like ordinary flashbangs, except they're fired from a gun. Duh.) --> Homing Bullets --> Knockout Bullets (these are magic blasts that put the target to sleep near-instantly on contact with bare skin) Magic Level: A
High Speed: The magic Jet used. Leon picked it up in a series of elective classes at Legion's Gate. This boosts Leon's speed to absurd levels, which, when paired with his fearsome swordsmanship skills, results in a whirlwind of attacks that few can withstand. He is capable of using it for a burst of speed, dashing between cover, avoiding attacks, and responding with a flurry of his own: About ten to twelve strikes at a time, and about three pieces of relatively close cover at a time. Magic Level: B
History: Leon D'Encant was, of course, born in Encant, a Fiorean town known for its elite marksmen, who had provided deadly troops to the armies of Fiore in centuries past. These "Musketeers," trained in the arts of the rapier, parrying dagger, pistol, and rifle, were known to be men of honor and pride. Cutting dashing figures, they were respected warriors, using their Requip techniques to great effect against the enemies of the Royal Household. As they were loyal to the Royal Family for centuries, when Zeref resurfaced and Wizards became stigmatized, the Musketeers were a notable exception, allowed to continue their work and even being put to use hunting down unauthorized Wizards.
A young Leon, wide-eyed and naive, sought to join Legion's Gate, the great Requip school where the best Musketeers were trained. At the age of eighteen, he was accepted and began his training in the Musketeer's arts. Two years later, he graduated. However, in time he had grown disillusioned with Musketeer society in general. He had been lured in with tales of crack shots shooting Dark Wizards between the eyes from half a mile away, of dashing rogues dueling S-Class threats by themselves with a smile on their face, all while never allowing an innocent to come to harm or, worse, betray their personal code of honor.
Instead he found a once-great force of warriors in sharp decline. Old mottos were forgotten in the name of excess. The Musketeers had grown lazy and corrupt after over a century of being the most privileged wizards around. Though they were capable Wizards, they rarely fought, instead preferring to use their large degree of autonomy to skim money meant for other corps and divert it to themselves, living large while other branches starved, fought, and bled. Leon was disgusted enough by this that, having never gotten to participate in a single action, he handed in his resignation and left as soon as he got the opportunity.
If the Musketeers would not do anything useful with their lives, then Leon D'Encant would. He took up bounty hunting, and, after a rough start, proved quite good at it. But, years into his bounty hunting career, he made a rookie mistake. Picking off too many members of the Lifetakers, a notorious criminal organization, got their undivided attention. Not only was he a marked man, but the Lifetakers had ties to Gorgon Head, a full-fledged, if minor Dark Guild. This was far, far too much heat for even an experienced loner like Leon to survive for long, and he knew it. So he went to the biggest Light Guild in Fiore, Phoenix Wing, and signed up. Of course, you don't just sign up for a Light Guild just for protection. You've got to earn your keep and make a commitment to the guild ethos, and Leon is trying to do that. Besides, doing something other than tracking down and capturing/killing the worst criminals imaginable is a nice change of pace.
Personality: Leon is, on duty, a professional and a stoic, to the point where he might be a stick in the mud. However, while he may groan at the antics of his fellow guild members, he's nonetheless a good-natured person at the Guild Hall. Just...give him some time to loosen up first. Guild and guild mark location: Phoenix Wing, abdomen
Three Strengths: 1. Consummate Professional: Through years of hunting the scum of the earth, Leon has become an experienced veteran of the bounty hunting world, and has the demeanor to back it up. He is serious, to the point, and dedicated to his craft. It takes a lot to shake him. 2. Self-Reliant: Being part of a guild is a team effort, but Leon has spent years as a lone wolf. He's needed to tend to his own wounds, maintain his own camps, hunt his own game, and track his own targets. This means that, if separated from his team for whatever reason, he's no worse for it. 3. Elite Combat Skill: Leon may not be the greatest wizard ever in terms of raw power, but he is skilled. He was trained to an elite level by one of the finest magic schools in Fiore, and his training was intended to help him serve as one of the Royal Family's crack troops. Against a superior opponent, he will often leverage his superb fencing abilities to allow him to hold his own even when spectacularly outgunned.
Three Weaknesses: 1. Marked: Leon has not just an entire criminal syndicate, but also their Gorgon Head buddies hunting him down. It's only a matter of time before his past catches up to him, and when it does, things will get nasty. 2. Finesse-based Fighter: Leon is not overly strong or durable by Wizard standards. He's more durable than most, due to his A-class power, but he is reliant on finesse and reflexes rather than brute force to defeat an opponent. This makes him significantly more fragile and easier to mission-kill than peer fighters should an opponent manage to hit him. 3. Fish Out of Water: Leon has spent years living alone, traveling from town to town, hunting down and killing complete strangers to put food on the table. This naturally means that the freewheeling nature of guild life is a challenge for him to adapt to. Greatest Love: The thrill of the chase. Motivation: To get the Lifetakers and Gorgon Head off his back. Appearance:
I have looked over your sheets and here are my thoughts:
Not a fan of Alexander. His father researching ways to make magic more accessible, backed by the council, just doesn't jive with the past/current attitude toward magic.
There is also the issue with the sword, but that was already vetoed and addressed. That aside, I'm not sure if operating on his 11-year-old son and then handing him a sword of all things is even in the realm of rationality,Then...the quality of the rest is questionable. If the lab had been attacked while he was unconscious, why was he not killed/kidnapped/ect? Then dying words, a random ambush and somehow the 11-year old just stabs him and...then absorbs the fire from the lab? (which is by the point, probably natural) and sets off on his vengeance quest? eh...
I understand what you were aiming for with Alvina but, judging from her backstory, I'm not convinced you can write her well enough. Veto'ed unless Zarkun or Marsh say otherwise.
Tristen is great. I like his goal and theme. I like how his goal is clear and his magic is equally versatile, strong, and potentially humorous.
Devin's overall magic is fine, but I not so sure about parts of Snatch, Poltergeist, Gespent, and Necromancy. You've bundled mind-control, possession, mind-reading, Necromancy, and whatever Gespent is, in a magic that is seemingly unrelated and strong enough on it's own. I realize this ties into his backstory but I'm sorry to say that the potential for abuse is too great. Although, I do like his story, ironically I think it would make more sense if he was younger. 16 when he started then 22 when he was caught is odd.
Nina is troublesome. I like the thought behind her, but much like the others, execution needs work.
How about, as a weakness, she has to *keep* reading (even if it's the same lines over and over) to make whatever it is last unless used with Permanence. If she stops or interrupted, it vanishes.
Backstory, common villager's reaction at this point in time to magic is fear and hate. Although depending how real that was...
uh
I'm not sure what happened after that. I cannot make heads or tails of the rest of the story. I can say that telling someone you just overwrote her memories and that you have the ability to do so is a terrible idea if you are trying to gain trust.
Overall, I liked the common themes seen and the pieces present in everyone's story, but your writing quality doesn't quite yet live up to the scope you are attempting. Bravo for going big, but perhaps you might want to try to start smaller and a little less ambitious?
Anyway, this is just my opinion. I'm only a volunteer evaluator, @MarshiestMallow and @Zarkun are the ones who have the final say in things.
This is here because Discord has a character limit. Smh. I'll ping you there too.
Actually.... given the fact that it has been twenty years since magic has started to come back and the council before the current council was corrupt.... it does fit. It would certainly be something my evil kalinda (I have a good version of her too) would do. So... I think its okay.
But yes, I do agree with the rest of that for Alexander
As for Alvina, I'm willing to give anyoen a go, to improve their writing and test themselves. I know I myself have come forward in leaps in bounds by pushing myself, I can certainly do evil and.... I was trying to thin of a way to write this without swearing, but dickheads/assholes well now, particularly in the last eight months or so of developing my skills there. So, I'm content with Alvina.
Tristen is fine.
I might have to com eback to Devin, as well as Nina.
@MarshiestMallow thanks for getting back with me about these characters. If need be, I can remove Nina and Devin from my story and try to throw them in later. Of not at all, depending on how you feel.