Important Rules:
2. Take the time to show the struggles of those in need.
>Shows basically no direct moments of struggling. Just implied because poor, lack of clothes and child. Doesn't even really have time to show WHY that's a struggle or elaborate on it. Closest I'd argue matching the requirement is the scene of her struggling to speak English in one line of dialogue. In fact most of the story revolves explaining how much more privileged and non-struggling the protagonist is.>Almost the entire 2nd half of the story entirely focusing on prolonged suffering. Directly goes into their mindset of the person suffering, which seemed to best make use of this rule.>If anything both succeed at doing the job of heartwarming sacrifice bit.3. We've focused on motives before, now hit on those emotions! I want TEARS, people! And BIG ones too!
I believe they hit the mark on what I was aiming for as far as theme and tone goes. Made me warm and fuzzy inside.
>Warm and lighthearted>Bittersweet and emotionalI think "make me cry" doesn't make me think of fuzzy. But to each their own...?
Have to assume that with the best of intentions. The idea of "heartwarming" in rule two almost seems to be completely missing the context of the person who made the contest in the first place. It wanted a tearjerker. It wanted to actually show struggling characters, not merely imply them. But the actual good deed was suppose to be heartwarming...that doesn't remotely seem to be saying "make the whole thing happy."
So let's compare? 1. Rich wealthy priest man give gives clothes and meal to woman he's infatuated with and her child. 2. Middle class man lets a strange beast inside his home to rest and spare him from death. Giving up all his chance at wealth and resources. And the drunkard shares all the literal liquid warmth he has left. And respects the dead animal whom the beast cared for as well. Which was the bigger sacrifice and/or more heartwarming deed? I guess it's subjective? I'd argue both were perfectly believable for the setting they presented...
And how can I not still find my first contest amusing?
>Be one of only two people that actually follow rules.>Winner doesn't follow rules and biggest flaw is I followed the rules.
And without a shred of context. Behold the tremendous lines that any writers may be inspired to write themselves.
"Like the unknown creature creating horrendous huffing noises, creeping closer while concealed beyond the creepers."
Ew. An alliteration. Those hurt my eyes.
The corrupted corruption of corrupted names on corrupted screens corrupting names.
This one's charming and super clever though.
Okay fine. No more context. Just sentences back and forth. Pulled almost randomly, believe me it doesn't matter.One and two and three and five. Four?
Getting cold feet as the sounds of crunching bones brought shivers down his spine; feeling frozen in place.
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Like sand. Fine particles. Of stuff. Like dust.
Taking a moment to catch the air that anxiety had stolen from his lungs.
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Today I found a trees. But not just one trees, there were many.
The earthen mass ahead showing the solemn soul its splendor.
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A weird red. Like blood. Like blood. Blood from the animals. Nameless animals that bled and didn’t give me my name.
The stench of sulfur burned his nostrils; his surroundings bled in an orange hue, as thick crimson gas spewed out of fissures from the bedrock.
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Woody dust, dusty wood, the wood of dust without leaves. Was the dust leaves?
Feeling foolish, his patience faltered like the stacks of fools gold.
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What the fuck are you. They said that, but I don’t know what a fuck is. It doesn’t sound like a name, so I must not be a fuck. I wonder if they once knew a fuck and mistook me for them?
Fear gripped his throat; strangling his self aggrandizing and rendering him speechless.
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The report was very lucky, since explosions sound like something really bad. Bad. Not nice. A not nice explosion.
The frail frogs sang swan songs to the audience of fireflies that lit up the late sky, along with the stars.
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I can’t write proerpyl properly. My hadn hand isn’t moving the way it should and I can’t write the words very well.
Living inside a kaleidoscope life; emotions constantly changing without reason and unable to see what was truly there.
Can you guess which one (and only one) was criticized for being too fragmented and having sentences that were too short? :D
I kid. All is said in fun.
I mean...At least *I* find it mildly amusing. 
