SLAP!With his face turned away from Valeria, AJ stood silent as everything transpired in tandem. He swallowed the anger festering inside of him, like it was fire-seed within his stomach. Of course, she was with
him. Why would she be traveling with this fuck up that knew her longer than anyone else? Right? It wasn't like this was their last young, wild, and free summer together.
Right? Makes perfect fucking sense. He let her pull him into an embrace, something he use to find so much comfort in... was downright pissing him off. Was this the gesture of their friendship? She came and went as she pleased. She showed she cared and didn't when she
felt like it. She needed him and then she didn't. Like what the fuck? What was he to her?
'I love you, J.' Was this a game? Was he a
joke?
sounds like a time to talk with your money
His phone vibrated in his pocket, but he ignored it. Sami walked away like the pussy he was and with that, AJ's dark brown eyes looked past the hair strands in his face to Aleks taking care of business. The man of the hour, already on the job, examining the steam of the cheap ass RV, with phone in hand. His dark gaze darted at a girl he had very little relation with who voiced her opinion glaring loud, as she defended her knight in Cuban armor. A girl with an insignificant, average physique and a boring face trying AJ's patience (Kim). She was so insignificant to him that he didn't even know her name. Tsk. AJ's teeth was tempted to grind, and yet he withheld, because Lord knows that was terrible for his teeth.
He didn't like her.
and not your damn mouth
His eyes narrowed, becoming more rigid, cold, and hard in seconds. Why was the first day of this trip turning out to be legitimate hell? His iris glowered, as he tried to take in Val's scent to settle his emotions. Everything was going to be okay. Everything was just fine. Everyone would just move the fuck on and leave him alone. His eyes shot at Monica who examined him, asking if this was his handiwork.
NO SHIT, SHERLOCK.
call a mechanic
Jesus. His attention was drawn to the now collapsed Emilia,
crying. Shit, people, this wasn't the END OF THE WORLD. Why were they being so dramatic? Hell, they needed more than a mechanic. These kids needed counseling. He scoffed and rolled his eyes when Matt did exactly that. Tried to console the shattered, broken Goldie.
Please. If anything, he'd make it worse. No one that knew Matt would have the right of mind to go to HIM for 'comfort'.
Finally, after staying dead still, he subconsciously wrapped his arms around Valeria's waist, as yet another face he didn't know by name (Jules) came out of the RV. AJ was pretty sure Yessi considered this boy as a boss bitch – a cute little thing, in AJ's opinion. Maybe he'd use this week to feel him out, for his dare. Watching the boy fall to the ground, more out of exhaustion than out of sadness, AJ thought in aggravation:
Come on, the crash wasn't even THAT bad.And then the last person that came to view was none other than Nate Matthews.
and keep your teeth bruh.
"Good." He whispered into Val's ear, which could answer everything she had yelled at him. Interrupted her dream? Good. I love you. Good. You are a pain? Good.
"Do you ever wonder if this..." He glanced at her, bringing awareness to how closely they were holding each other,
"Made someone jealous?" The only other person that could possibly hear what AJ was saying was Monica, because of how close she was standing to them. He couldn't tell if his anger was still in a reactive state or not, but now he was out for Val.
Neither of the two were paying attention to anyone else now, not even yet another person appearing (Umbra) and going to Emilia’s aid. They were too caught up with themselves.
Val let out a low chuckle, brown eyes sparkling at her friend’s ridiculous statement.
“Nah,” she muttered dismissively in response, hugging AJ tighter.
“You know he’s never given a damn about me in that way. To Nate, I’m nothing more than that pesky little fly that persistently annoys you when you’re trying to eat your food and it gets you fucking irritated and you just want to swat it the hell away and pray it doesn’t come back to bother you again.”Pressing on her painfully tight, his seething anger seeping out of his lips, he laughed at her response, obviously not caring about a damn thing she was saying,
"Stop acting like we're okay, because we're not." He was tired of giving her chances. He was tired of forgiving her. He was tired of the games. Did she really think this could make up for their damage?
"You're cute." He vindictively teased, kissing her chubby cheek out of spite rather than love, before releasing her.
“I know, J…” the girl admitted to both of her best friend’s statements, biting her lower lip and looking down at her worn Vans as the familiar feeling of guilt rose up like bile up her throat. The second she threw her arms around AJ and he just stood there like a wax figure straight out of Madame Tussauds’ Museum, Valeria knew things between them were
not okay.
And how could they be? For the past few weeks, the brunette had put up her walls again: ignoring AJ’s texts and calls, turning down any petitions to hang out, avoiding him whenever possible… But how could she confess the inner turmoil that some of his actions were causing her without sounding like a pathetic bitch? Those who knew her well could attest to the fact that admitting her weaknesses was not something Valeria was fond of, nor something she did often. Hell, she could even count with the fingers of one hand the amount of times she’d confided her feelings in someone (that particular someone being a towering Russian that might or might not be a few feet away from where she and AJ stood- not that it mattered, of course). But in all honesty, Valeria knew she could trust Alfie James Tyler with her life, and he would guard it with his own. Yet she also knew her best friend was just as emotional and explosive as she was. Her biggest fear was that he wouldn’t understand… Which is why she’d thought it best to put up #TheWall and go on with life.
“I’m sorry, man,” Valeria began in an apologetic tone.
“And I swear to God there’s a damn good reason for everything that’s going on with me. It’s just-” she suddenly trailed off, visibly uncomfortable as she looked away while shifting her feet.
“You know I’m not good with the touchy-feely kinda stuff.”Turned away from her, forlorn, he shrugged,
"Yeah, I know.” Surveying everyone who was dealing with the problem he caused, he assured his
dear friend with the
kindest of tones,
"Don’t worry about it, Tink.” Her nickname lacked the softness and care it always had, as if he was completely and utterly fed up.
And then, something switched off within him while a faux smile graced his face, and by now, he believed his anger turned into an entirely different emotion,
"I’m gonna’ clean shit up, now.” Unsettling, AJ gave her a thumbs up and started to walk away, heading towards the RV. Done with this conversation.
Or so he thought.
“No you’re not.”As it was common between the two hotheads that were Valeria and AJ, they often found themselves impulsively springing into action before their minds could take a second to process the best way to go about the situation at hand. And that’s how the small girl ended up forcefully grabbing her Peter Pan by the arm and roughly dragging him out of earshot from the rest of the group. When Val had deemed they were far enough away, she let go of his arm and pretty much squared up in front of AJ: a rather comical sight considering the young man had half a foot of advantage over her. The brunette’s fists were balled up beside her, with a deep frown knotting her arched eyebrows together, and her short figure rising and falling with unsteady breathing.
“You want to know what’s up with me, Alfie? Fine.” Val spat, cheeks red with anger at everything going on and the fear/nervousness of what she was about to admit.
“It’s the bitch currently sitting in the passenger seat of your fancy little sports car right now. That’s what’s going on with me.”Alfie. If she was saying anything of importance after that one word, it was going into deaf ears. His mind was met with a montage of his school days where he put his peers, boys and girls alike, into compromising positions for calling him by his first name.
Did she really just...?
Staring right through her, he clenched his fists, piercing his nails into his skin to get himself out of this stupor. She was
his best friend. He
didn’t want to strangle her. He
didn’t want to smash her skull against the side of the RV that was so kindly hiding them. He
didn't want to harm her.
Breathe, dude. He needed to break this habit. This trigger. It’s just a goddamn word.
Closing his eyes, he heard the voices of little kids mocking him, like he was a fucking clown.
Do I amuse you? He wasn’t going to hurt her.
Do I make you laugh? His breathing picked up, ever so slightly, as he whispered, planting his feet deep into the sand,
"...come again? The last part.” His voice beggingly warned her to avoid using his first name again.
Valeria let out a frustrated sigh, rolling her eyes and stomping the ground like the child she could very well act like sometimes.
“I said that if you want to know what the fuck’s wrong with me, you can find the answer sitting in your goddamned sports car!” she cried out again, pointing at the yellow vehicle sitting at the curve while her voice took on that shrill tone it always did when she was losing the temper that was just about as tall as she was.
“Did the crash leave you deaf or something?!”What? He looked back at his car, where Mandy was resting, and honestly, this perplexed him. But then, there was her
tone,
“Did the crash leave you dumb or something?!” Was she seriously ignoring him because he was friends with a girl she didn’t like? And then thought the best way of telling him was to start with his first name!
“WHAT-THE-SHIT-VAL!” First because of Jamie, now because of Mandy?!
“Why don’t you cut me off with every fucker I talk to, huh?! If I just kissed Aleks or something, would you be like: ‘bye bitch’???” AJ Tyler was back to his irrational self. Now, however, he was completely at a lost.
Seriously.
“It’s not- I KNEW YOU WOULDN’T FUCKING GET IT!” Val shouted, clearly past the point of caring whether people heard them or not.
“You never do! It’s not about you, J! It’s about your best friend fighting her own fucking demons and needing to step away before she lets herself be swallowed whole. It’s about not feeling like a complete fucking loser with the constant fear that you’ll never be good enough, and that you’ll end up losing those who really fucking matter. It’s about being fucking terrified that someone else will come in and sweep you off your feet and have you so fucking whipped that I’m once again relegated to second place. You walk through this life thinking everything’s all about you all the time. Woe is me: the beautiful, dirty, filthy fucking rich AJ Goddamn Tyler. But guess what, Peter Pan? Sometimes, things aren’t about you!” she finally finished, her voice breaking at the last sentence and looking very much like she was close to tears.
“BUT THIS HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH ME, HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
Woah. Bring it down a level, boy.
“Woe is me? WOE IS ME?!” Yeah, not working.
“You’re the one making this about me because when you continue to hate yourself, you take it out on me! Like I’m the reason you’re not getting what you want! Like I’m the reason you’re not happy! Like I’m the REASON Nate doesn’t see you! Like ‘oh-my-God, Senpai: notice me’. Don’t blame me because you’re scared of love, Val. Like, Jesus. At least I know I’m pathetic because I still got my head thinking about my ex. Ain’t no one’s fault but my own and I wasted a good year because of that!” As if his first few sentences hadn’t been damaging enough, right after Valeria heard Nate’s name being shouted out to the seven seas, something inside her snapped. AJ’s words and the sounds of rest of the world had faded off into nothingness, eardrums filled instead with white noise. Her sense of sight was suddenly tinged red, and her mind was clouded of all rational thought. For a few seconds, the short girl simply stood there, dark hair flowing around her in the desert breeze while her brown eyes were wide and her mouth was agape, like that of a fish just pulled out of water.
But in the blink of an eye, the rage-fuelled Val was springing forward and tackling AJ to the ground, keeping him down with the weight of her petite body on top of his, and raising her fist to leave a few lasting marks on his fucking attractive face.
And
this was why she didn’t like discussing her feelings.
Like,
ever.
...and this is where he cursed under his breath for restraining himself earlier.
He should've hit her.
Well, at least he won't have a guilty conscience.