Hidden 5 yrs ago
Zeroth Post
Raw
Zeroth
Locations:

Baldhorse City Hall- This is where Mayor Gilbert and the small amount of government is chilling. Many people have taken jobs elsewhere, completely giving up on the city.
The Big Alley- This is a very big alley between the Baldhorse Supermarket and a KFC. People do drugs here a lot. Homeless people sleep here and in many other alleys. There are many alleys but this is a crowd-favorite.
Baldhorse Supermarket- They only sell canned food, ramen noodles, pasta boxes, and knives. To get better quality food, you gotta go to Joe's.
Joe's- Joe's supermarket is WAY better. It has a fantastic selection however the prices are up there because it is in so much demand when the town supermarket is a shithole. It has militant guards. It is impossible to steal food because it is booby-trapped. There are many cameras.
The Field- This is where the gang fights happen. It is near the elementary school. Sometimes people do yoga here in the day.
Billy's Bar- This is the most HOPPING bar where people go to drink and try their luck at getting laid. Billy Bobbington owns it.
Club Chunk- This is the night club where bitches be dancing and it's called club chunk since everyone is so drunk they blow chunks.
The Baldhouse- This is a brothel. Good discounts are on Groupon. 5/5 on yelp.
Blangs- This is a jewelry store.
Greg's Gun Shop- Greg be sellin' them guns
Sam's Smoke Shop- Cigarettes are for sale and miscellaneous things to smoke.
Radical Riley's- This is a drug den many are aware of. It's in a random house.
Charlie's Crackshack- This is a crack shack that's in the slummiest area.
Baldhouse Park- This is a park in the middle of town. It is a very big wooded area with rusty, dangerous playground equipment and shady ice cream trucks. There are various food trucks.

Restaurants available: KFC, Wendy's and Mcdonalds. There are no Starbucks but there is a cafe called marhucks.
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Penguin
Raw
GM
Avatar of Penguin

Penguin

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Gus was perched on the branch of a tree by Baldhouse Park. He was about five feet off the ground, the branch swaying back and forth with each movement of his heavy feet. He snarled at the sight of the passing ice cream truck. It was so dirty and was probably filled to the brim with drugs. Gus hated this ridiculous drug town! This town had been so clean and wholesome back in the day when he was a kid. Now people were drug-dealing on smelly, probably poo-stained ice cream trucks. There were barely any kids to even buy ice cream.

Enough was enough. Gus threw himself into a cannonball into the grass, groaning audibly. He rolled on to his feet after taking a moment or two to recover, faceplanted in the grass. Once on his feet, he started hammering himself toward the ice cream truck, which had halted. His arms were out on his sides as if he was going to give someone a vicious hug and his legs very spread apart as he moved. His teeth were bared as he came to the truck window. Spit spilled down his chin as he grabbed the ledge. "I bet you don't have flaming ice cream. "

"What?"The ice cream truck driver was flabbergasted at this. "What is flaming ice cream?"

"I want some funkalicious ice cream! Holy moly stromboli! I knew you didn't sell ice cream !" Gus was yelling and furious now. "I feel all love, peace, and taco grease for you, man but you gotta give me that funkalicious ice cream or I'm about to take you to flavortown!"
1x Like Like
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Qoqo
Raw
Avatar of Qoqo

Qoqo

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

Blob is rolling nearby with his round, amorphous body and notices Gus's altercation. Being in a rival gang, Blob reacts with juicy hostility. He thinks for a moment, as he is only capable of thought for 1 second at a time, and decides to see what the biz is.

Approaching Gus, Blob angrily blabs out "Gaayag tultroia qeqe wichto dwop!" while waving his jar of mayonnaise around.

He slowly approaches the ice cream truck, pours some mayo on the tires, and starts taking enormous bites out of the rubber.
1x Like Like
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Alivefalling
Raw
Avatar of Alivefalling

Alivefalling White Whistle Delver - Soverign of Fate

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Riley stepped out of his drug den after hearing a commotion in the park across the street. "Y'all what the fuck you doing making this racket." He said running towards the Ice cream truck. "Man fuck ice cream bitch." Riley pulled out his Type 54 and shot the ice cream man. "You guys need to calm the fuck down eat your shit and get outta here man ya too damn loud." He said to the man eating the tire and the guy fieri lookin ass dude.
1x Like Like
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Penguin
Raw
GM
Avatar of Penguin

Penguin

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Gus wiggled his flabs when Blob came over. A man fatter than him was really existing! The guy started speaking Yiddish or something whilst shaking his mayo. Gus applauded. He loved mayo and foreign languages. What a gentleman! Maybe this guy also wanted to protest drugs. "Yes! Good!" He cheered as the man started putting mayo on the rubber tire and biting into it. Clearly, this man had some mental problems or was raised by some strange animals. That was okay though. As long as he hated drug selling ice cream truck men.

Gus decided to show his support by commencing a wild licking of the mayo with his new fat pal. That's when some skinny boy came through cursing like a sailor. Gus whirled around theatrically, swinging his arms. "I'll serve you on a flip flop you drug-dealing meth head!"
However, when he shot the ice cream man, Gus hollered with fear. "OOOOOOOIIIIII!" He threw himself into the truck and began doing rambunctious CPR on the obviously dead man.
1x Like Like
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Tae
Raw
Avatar of Tae

Tae

Member Seen 24 days ago

Muerta had been tagging to bathrooms in Baldhouse Park, making sure everyone knew just who those bathrooms belong to. Anybody who would disrespect her bathrooms would pay a hefty price. Perhaps she should start charging people a few just to use those bathrooms.

That's when she heard the high pitched music of the ice cream truck and she grinned. It was one of their ice cream trucks, but contrary to popular belief they actually sold ice cream. She figured it would probably be a good idea to grab some ice cream and see how much the truck had made so far today. As she headed towards the truck, however, she saw the strangest sight of two men eating mayo off the tire. It probably wasn't the strangest sight she'd ever seen though.

It was then that a gun shot rang out and she watched the ice cream man go down. Rage filled her eyes as she turned to see the perpetrator. She angrily began storming towards Riley, her hand going to her own gun as she did so. "Oi! Pendejo! What gives you the fucking right to shoot my man?!" She yelled at him as she got up in his face. Well as in his face as the 5'0 Latina woman could. "I demand payment. How about I get to shoot something of yours instead?" She asked with a sadistic grin as she held her pistol dangerously close to Riley's nether regions.
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Qoqo
Raw
Avatar of Qoqo

Qoqo

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

Hearing the crusty commotion going on in the park, Mint peeks her head out from behind a tree. She inaudibly squeals in excitement, since gunshots and murder really moisten her peppermint patty. Mint whips out her handy-dandy vibrator and turns it on full blast. She moans louder than a Lithuanian koala on a Sunday. But as she's about to climax, Mint remembers she's actually a pacifist and suddenly gets triggered. She angrily releases her special Samoa-cookie-scented diarrhea across a large area of the park, the chocolatey goodness reaching the ice cream truck.
1x Like Like
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by SausagePat
Raw
Avatar of SausagePat

SausagePat The Sausage Fiend

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Quaza!
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Penguin
Raw
GM
Avatar of Penguin

Penguin

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Gus rolled his fat blobs of flesh in his hand as he jumped away from the ice cream truck in disgust. The ice cream man was dead and the CPR was not working. This made him angry, but what made him just furious was the spew of diarrhea all over the truck. First, they murder the man then they filthy up the truck! He chunked loudly and his eyebrows sizzled like a burger on a grill. He whirled on Minty twitchingly and fixated his eyes on her. "Uch."
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Penguin
Raw
GM
Avatar of Penguin

Penguin

Member Seen 2 mos ago

It is now the next day. The temperature is 95 degrees. It is VERY SUNNY.

Gus was flipping burgers in the middle of the road on a hot day. He gurgled on his own spit joyously as his burger sizzled in the heat. With a floppy sweaty belly, he did a backflip and then put his burger on a bun. "Guy's grocery games..." he said and began to munch on it as he sat cross-legged. A car drove up to him and began beeping as flecks of rocks popped off his burger buns.

He smiled greasily and refused to move!
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by VeronicaMyers
Raw
Avatar of VeronicaMyers

VeronicaMyers

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

Mint was spying from the distance and began to
record everything she was doing on their phone.
She loved everything about his greasy belly but felt ashamed
That no one would understand. She began to stress and used chewing
Gum to help her out. She felt her heart pounding
And her backpack fall on the floor to accidentally turn on her vibratory
She was ashamed of always carrying it around. She had
Been caught by the other man in the room. She cried for 3 minutes
And played victim before calling the cops.
1x Like Like
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Alivefalling
Raw
Avatar of Alivefalling

Alivefalling White Whistle Delver - Soverign of Fate

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Ryomen looked at Bob Blobson. "You will die here."

Bob had a knack for knowing when it was safe to move. When he felt his captors were vulnerable. But he didn't move, having counted three dead and twenty-one wounded. Ryomen realized that he'd have to fight his way free, or die with them.

"I'll kill them," was all he said, never breaking eye contact.

"They're too many to take out. Even with a knife," Bob replied. "You want to trade with me?"

"Yes. Even if you kill me. But I think I can kill some."

"I have a new hammer," he replied, pulling a large, black iron weight from a deep pocket.

Ryomen eyed the weight, but pulled out a knife.

"No," the drifter said, "you have a hammer."

"And you have a knife."

"That's true. But we have a hammer here now."

Ryomen couldn't argue with that.

"Why are you doing this? Are you punishing us?"

"Somehow," Bob said, "yes."

"Not like that," Ryomen protested, but Bob held up a finger.

"When I was a boy," Bob told him, "I had a dog. It died. The man who owned it didn't feel bad about it. My mother told me I should be angry, but I wasn't. I still remember the man laughing at me in front of the whole village. The day after he had me and my mother come to take the body away. When I'm angry, I like to take the edge off by losing myself in violent action. I put myself in the shoes of the other guy. I try to understand the motivation behind his actions. When I'm done, I go into my own world and think about my frustration with my father. My own world,"
1x Like Like
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Jellybeans
Raw

Jellybeans

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

Mucus plopped out of Plenchs hair and into his face as he stared at the stranger.

A specter, this stranger with her long legs and loose pants.

"We're not like you."

the girl said, "We're going home."

"I can see that."

Plench grabbed his chunky turds and looked at them.

The pissy liquid marbled around the toilet water and didn't smell like much of anything.

Plench scrubbed his hands and poured some water on his head, the toothpaste stuck in his hair and stuck to the left side of his face.

"I'm going to eat this shit."

Plench called to the stranger and stood up.

"Just get a move on it!"

"Not so fast."
Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by Jellybeans
Raw

Jellybeans

Member Seen 2 yrs ago


The stranger got up and started looking for her car keys.

"There isn't a window open."Plench said.

"There isn't a lock to pick."

"I knew you were a cunt!" the stranger said.

She jabbed at the key ring and the keys fell into Plench's hand.

"Get in."

Plench looked at the stranger's keys.

"There's a safety code. Keys won't work."

Plench wasn't going to stick around to find out.

His eyes roamed the convenience store for something else to eat, anything else to eat.

He went to the soda case and scanned the cans. He saw some granola bars.

"What's the point?" he asked himself, "They're empty."

Plench walked over to the checkout aisle and grabbed a box of Swiss Miss for her and a Dr. Pepper for himself.

He ignored the signs that said, "No Guns in This Store".

Maybe the government had a plan after all, Plench thought to himself.

Maybe they just wanted to make sure people didn't get shot.

He figured the best place for a stranger to hide a gun would be in her car.

Plench found her car with no difficulty.

A light blue midsize sedan with a hiccup stain on the leather seat.

Plench took his wet shit filled turds out of his pocket and jammed them into the back seat.

"Holy shit!" he cried out, "I just ate some shit."

Plench opened the trunk of the stranger's car and grabbed a bunch of junk and threw it in the trunk.

Nothing that would blow up or make a racket.

"I'm hungry." Plench said to the door.

The stranger let herself into the car and sat in the front.

Plench looked at the windows.

A safety code would stop the windows from opening.

Plench put his hands to the front window.

The locked.

Plench slammed the door and sat down.

"I knew you were a cunt!" the stranger called from the driver's seat.

"I know why you're here. I knew it."

Plench dropped his head and held his ears.

"There's a safety code." the stranger said.

Plench slammed the back window and the safety code bit into Plench's neck like a pencil.

The stranger screamed out in horror as the locks snapped.

Plench's head thudded against the pavement and the blood poured out of his eyes.

Plench looked around and saw a long, long road and a huge square of cement.

He climbed to his feet and walked over to the cement square.

The concrete went as far as his neck.

"We aren't like you." the girl said.

Plench grunted as he began to shit again, his stomach rippling, trying to regroup.

His turds fell to the cement and turned to turd slime.

Plench scooped up the slime and shoved it in his mouth.

He turned his head to look at the girl and realized she wasn't looking at him.

"We aren't as good as you." she said.
Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by Penguin
Raw
GM
Avatar of Penguin

Penguin

Member Seen 2 mos ago

@Qoqo Bob Blobson

Gus moaned "Hun, man. It's too hot. I'm supposed to keep the power down in my burger with my sweat... It's just too hot to move, man... Not as much as the sun, though..."

As Gus stood up, he bent over to grab a full bag of beanbag chairs from the other car. He looked over and saw a fat man fumbling around on the ground. Gus felt embarrassed for being stared at by the man, but he was glad that Fieri was helping him. The man puked up mucus. Gus could see his body heat visibly swaying as he wiped himself with a toilet seat.

Gus stood up and threw the bag of beanbag chairs over his shoulder. "Thanks, man, for the help. I'm going back to the campsite now, for fluids..." Gus walked away as fast as he could.

Gus laughed a little bit. He stood up and tried to toss the beanbag chair over his shoulder, but his legs felt like they were going to explode. Gus fell down, and the man's head turned slowly towards him. Gus tried to stand up. His legs looked like they had been cut open with acid, and he started having diarrhea. His legs collapsed on top of him. Gus smiled and giggled as the fat man looked at him in horror. Gus gasped as a river of fluid began to run down his leg. Gus looked around, trying to find the fluids he needed, and smiled at Bob Blobson when he saw him coming in the distance with water in his hand. Gus could smell the chemicals from the water bottle as it flew over his head. Bob grabbed Gus's hand and held it over the bag of fluids. Gus knew it was time for him to leave. He looked around, and his face flushed.

Gus stood up as quickly as he could. He looked around, and began to panic. Bob was standing on the side of the road, waving at him. "Gaayag tultroia qeqe wichto dwop ka!", Bob said as he waved his hand to tell Gus to come back. Gus laughed a little bit and asked Bob if he knew where he lived. Bob pointed back in the direction he had come from. Gus smiled, and walked away. He closed his eyes as Bob yelled "OIL!"

Bob's voice woke him up. Gus stood up and looked over the side of the road. Bob was staring at him from his campsite, holding a towel over his body. Gus told Bob that he would go back to his campsite, but he needed something first. Bob looked around, and saw Gus's suitcase at the edge of the road. Bob had so much diarrhea that his stomach looked like it was going to explode. Gus laughed and said "You're a diarrhea dude... Your diarrhea, your diarrhea..."

Bob looked over the side of the road again and looked at Gus's suitcase. Bob smiled a little bit and kicked it over the side of the road. It was going to take a whole truck full of shit to fit the suitcase.

--------------------

Part 2

Eggplant comes in from the alley with his mouth full of shit. He looked at Gus, as Blob pushed his jar of mayo in between the ice cream truck's other tires. Eggplant looks at Gus and says "I think we all know what this is about, so let's get the hell outta here."

Blob walks up behind Gus and says " yegdama dlaya smodya yasasya twusma paswombi gsegwi wudila tpana sigsanu pupagena skadwila lakudwu dyagwa lisu nokpa betyakwe dipahegu."

Trying to give him a hint, Eggplant translates what Blob says with his mouth full of shit. " I know what this is all about. Now I am not going to tell you, but I want you to know that you have offended me."

In a final attempt to buy Gus some time, Blob continues his rant. " You have offended me. I will not allow any living thing to be offended, and no living thing should be offended by my existence."

Gus, not wanting to press the issue any further, lets Blob finish before he kicks him out. Blob stops talking for a moment to try and let Gus finish, but Gus refuses to respond to his rudeness. With one minute and 42 seconds left on the timer, Gus picks up the phone and dials 911.

Gus (distractedly) dials 911 and says "This is a local non-emergency phone line. I am having a dispute with a coworker who, for some reason, is insisting that I am gay. Could you send the special police unit to my house to take care of this problem?"

Gus hangs up the phone. Blob notices this and sharts next to the ice cream truck.

"Bruh, dis mess is a yuga issa shulaa homas."

"Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser."Gus replies

In other news, a week later, apparently the police have not arrived, and Blob has chosen to follow through with his threat. Using only his "thought powers" and a jar of mayo, Blob decides to tackle Gus.

Blob had awoken from a deep sleep. He sat up in his bed, and noticed that the dream he was having was not a dream at all. In the dream, Blob was at the basement door of Gus' house.

In the dream, Blob was trying to force his way into Gus's house, and was being forcibly held back by an angry eggplant. Blob was at a loss for words, and was unable to respond to this as the door to Gus's house suddenly opened.

When Blob entered the basement, he immediately saw the shit truck and Gus behind the wheel. Gus looked at Blob, and smiled.

"Fuck yeah, you did not get offended!"

Gus looked back at the camera. "Anyone who exists is a fucking pig! I am a pig, and you are a pig! Everyone is a pig! FUCK YA"
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Jellybeans
Raw

Jellybeans

Member Seen 2 yrs ago



Bob was out in the yard, picking up little bits of little green grass and dust.

"You done already?"

"Yes, I guess, I don't think we needed to plench a poor family of plench folk for a week, but we did it anyways, and it is the law."

Bob returned to the lab and was glad that Gus has no clue of how he truly feels about Gus

When Bob arrived at the lab, he was informed by Bob Blobson that Gus's cousin Gus, had run off with Bob's machine shop. Bob was sad.

Bob sat down and did not move for the next four hours.

"I should have told Gus that his machine shop was right behind his house, and when he came back, the entire fucking station would have been empty."

"I guess you will have to do what you can with what you have," Bob Blobson replied and scratched his buttcheek.

Bob decided to stay at the lab for the next three days to keep Gus from figuring out the truth. Gus decided to be truthful and he told Bob about Bob's pet gerbil and the machine shop.

The next day, Bob Blobson rushed out of the lab and into his car, and headed back to the shitty station. Bob stopped at a red light and when the light turned green, he started to move. He was confronted by two massive oil blobs, they surrounded Bob's car and kicked it to the side of the road. Bob quickly realized that the giant blobs were not empty tires as he initially assumed, but rather a bunch of tires sticking out of the ground. Bob was in shock.

He looked down at his front tire and noticed that the front tire was a full sized tire with a rim on the front of it.

Bob was in shock.

"Oh my god, Bob, you are fucking crazy! Fuck you, Bob!" Gus yelled and kicked Bob's tire. Bob looked up and saw Gus sitting in his shitty truck, staring at him. Gus laughed and laughed as he made a huge smelly mess in his truck. Bob stood up, and looked at Gus.

"Bob, you are fucking insane. Fuck you, Bob!" Gus yelled and kicked Bob's tire.

"Fuck you, Gus. Fuck you." Bob yelled and kicked Gus's tire.

Gus got out of his truck and kicked Bob's tire. Bob looked up at Gus and noticed that Gus had a huge foot.

"You are fucking nuts, Gus, fuck you!" Bob screamed.

Gus kicked Bob's tire.

Bob looked up and saw Gus.

"Fuck you, Gus, fuck you!" Bob yelled as he kicked Gus's tire.

Bob looked down at his feet.

"Bob, you are fucking crazy, you are fucking nuts!" Gus yelled.

Bob's pants turned bright neon brown with shit, and Gus noticed.

"Bob, you are fucking diarrhea!" Gus yelled.

Bob looked down at his crotch and noticed that the entire front of his pants were filled with poop.

"Fuck you, Gus." Bob yelled.

Bob looked at Gus.

"You are fucking nuts, Gus, fuck you!"

Bob kicked Gus's tire.

"You are fucking diarrhea!"

Qoqo breaks the fourth wall and jumps into the world of the game.

Gus got out of his truck, and kicked Bob's tire.

Mashed kibble came out of their eyebrows and their eyes bulged out of their head.

"Fuck you, Gus, fuck you!" Bob screamed as he kicked Gus's tire.

Bob kicked Gus's tire and looked at Gus.

"Fuck you, Gus, fuck you!" Bob screamed as he kicked Gus's tire.

Bob looked at Gus. Gus started running around in circles, screaming, and jumping up and down. Bob laughed and kicked Gus's tire.

"Fuck you, Gus, fuck you!" Bob screamed.

Bob looked at Gus.

"Fuck you, Gus, fuck you!"

Bob kicked Gus's tire.

Bob looked up at Gus. Gus was wearing a pair of red silk boxers, and his pants were ripped and full of shit.

"Fuck you, Gus, fuck you!" Bob screamed.

Bob looked at Gus. Gus had a giant shit stain on his face and he was waving his arms in the air, screaming, and jumping up and down.

"Fuck you, Gus, fuck you!" Bob screamed as he kicked Gus's tire.

Bob looked at Gus.

"You are fucking diarrhea!"

Bob and Gus started kissing as an air of romance took over the room.
"Fuck you, Gus, fuck you!" Bob yelled as he pushed Gus's face into his crotch.

"Fuck you, Bob, fuck you!" Gus screamed as he shoved Bob's crotch into his face then they got in the car and started driving to a Wendy's.

They were in the car for about an hour when Bob noticed Gus was asleep. Bob started kissing Gus, and Gus woke up.

"Oh shit, Bob, you are fucking diarrhea, fuck you!" Gus screamed.

Bob looked at Gus.

Slime comes out of them. Milky hairs come out of their foreheads. All of the teeth in their mouth fall out. Their hair goes all white. Their eyes turn into a bright yellow. They scream in a high pitch voice, and all of the teeth in their mouth fall out. They go blind and start running around in circles screaming, and all of the teeth in their mouth fall out.

Milky white diarrhea comes out of their nose and ears. They get all of the teeth in their mouth out and scream in a high pitch voice. All of the teeth in their mouth fall out and they start running around in circles screaming. The teeth become sentient and come to life.

They start laughing uncontrollably. Their nose starts to bleed and they become very pale. They get a stomach ache. They vomit a black liquid.

Their teeth become translucent and they start to drool slime. Mexican scents come to life and come to life. They start to shoot slime out of their mouths. They get infected. They scream in a high pitch voice. Their body starts to fall apart.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Jellybeans
Raw

Jellybeans

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

Bob Blobson was walking down the street on his way home, when suddenly he saw a lion coming up behind him. He jumped into a stone-age caveman ’s pose, and shouted, “Saaa! Taaaa!” The lion stopped and was about to run away, when suddenly it looked down and saw Bob’s motoroil. “Taaaaa!” screamed Bob, waving his club. The lion ran back into the cave, in a motoroil-lube frenzy.

Bob's dildo turned into stone just like Neantherdal's cave for Bob's flabby, useless cock "Don't let your dildo rot away, get your motoroil out"He screamed as Guy Fieri appeared greasily, wearing a motoroil-lubricated caveman 's club and offering him a helping hand, but Bob declined his help.

The "clubs are for clinking" club

An ad in the back of a clubber magazine explains how Bob's dildo made a trip in the stone-age, just like Neantherdal's cave, to the Neantherdal Cave, where it became a member of the club. After leaving the cave, it came to life and became a real club with a club of 4 inches in diameter. The dildo has 4 faces, 4 fingers, and 4 lips and it is well lubricated with the finest motoroil available to mankind, lube and stone-age stone-age stone-age motoroil.

"When your dildo gets stuck in the lamp-crackle, try lube, stone-age stone-age motoroil. The lamp-crackle is motoroil smacking against a stone-age rock. Motoroil is involved!"
1x Like Like
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Penguin
Raw
GM
Avatar of Penguin

Penguin

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Gus started poking Bob Blouson’s smelly fat rolls and said, “He’s out on bail.

He’s guilty as hell, and since he’s free to run amuck with the girls, he’s got no alibi.

You ready for the breakdown?”

Gus smiled and shoved his fist up his armpit pubes.

They had a day off coming on Sunday, so it would be a fun night.

The whole squad was up to his shenanigans, though he knew he was more dangerous than anybody he knew.

If they’d only remember that.

Hell, even he had forgotten. His nose quivered and vibrated, and he said, “Fuck!” He dropped down on his belly and peed in his pants.

He said, “I have to keep my pants dry on Sunday night! Ugh!”
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Jellybeans
Raw

Jellybeans

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

Plench Slorpwings





Plench Slorpwings was going to the Baldhouse as he was feeling a type of way. A steamy type of way. He was listening to LMFAO's hit song "Party RocK" as his meaty flesh flopped about, tall felt hat in sync. He seemed to be almost dancing and this isn't a joke.

"I could use a brand new mower blade, ya know," Plench Slorpwings replied to his sleep paralysis demon." "Me n' my wife...we aren't using any blades on our lawn. You know why? She's always complaining that I make the grass too short and she would prefer I make it short like a lady, ya know."

Plamen Slorpwings then took a drag from his spliff, causing the mower blades on his mower to swing wildly out of control.

The spinning blades clipped a neighbor's flowerbed. Plench Slorpwings then got off of his lawn mower, annoyed that the stench of his smoke mixed with the smell of manure was clogging his nose
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Bearlof
Raw

Bearlof

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

Riley watched Plench as he walked and slithered to his bed. He had known Plench was an efficient healer and knew that Riley had rarely experienced the sight of a vaunted demon annihilating his enemy. It wasn't the brutality that left him feeling cold. It was what he knew in his heart that Plench had done.

The kind man had killed those men for his own nefarious reasons and for Riley, that was unforgivable. As Plench stopped at Riley's bedside, Riley scowled and let out a rough growl.

"The curse," Riley said softly. "Haven't I suffered enough?"

"And to think, I had you believing there was nothing to fear." Riley huffed. "But it was all lies."

"No lie, just a misunderstanding, I know that."

Riley groaned and curled up in the fetal position. Plench felt a pang of guilt and wondered if he would ever truly know the answer
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Qoqo
Raw
Avatar of Qoqo

Qoqo

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

Tae Bo (Pronounced "Tie Bo")
Location: Crack Shack


Tae Bo awoke suddenly in the Crack Shack after meditating on the sun hours earlier. He took out his fists and decided to fight his way out of the cursed shack.

"I'm going to get up off this floor!" He declared to himself. The floor was indeed wet and slippery, as if it was newly poured concrete.

He dashed about the room, punching and stomping at the ceiling, to no avail. "THIS IS HURTING ME! HELP ME!"

As he moved into a corner, he saw a door, which he immediately kicked in.

Before him was a staircase. He took the first step up, and almost immediately fell down, hurtling himself down the staircase. He then smashed his face on the stairs, cutting his cheek and eye. As he was bleeding, he reached out his hand and forced a "Boomerang" to appear in his hand.

The Boomerang materialized in front of him, and the ground erupted beneath his feet. He fell from the cliff and landed on a bed. "Whew. I'm alive!" He said, looking around for something to help with the blood.

He pushed his head in a bin and took a paper towel. He wrapped his face, which was bleeding profusely. As he did so, a room spun out of his vision.

He fainted and then woke up, lying in a bed that had spawned next to Plench and Riley.

"Hi guys," said Tae Bo.

Riley was sitting on the bed's side and dressed in her sombrety clothes. "Yeah, it's me." Said Plench, who was lying down on the bed, crying out in pain.

"Oh, it's a shame that you're bleeding again. That's not fair, Plench!" Said Riley. "Don't worry, it'll heal eventually."

"This is not fair at all! It's like you're mocking me!" He exclaimed. "Am I going crazy? Why do you guys want to break me?"

"We just want to help you. Aren't you happy now? Don't you feel bad that you tried to escape but failed?" Said Plench.

"Right! Thank you so much! This is the best day of my life! You guys are so good to me!"

Tae Bo and Plench took some more time to talk. Eventually, they started making out. It wasn't long before they had started having sex. "You know, Riley, I think you'll make a great Boomerang user. You look so sexy when you fight! Heh, I bet you could take out ten zombies just by sucking them dry!"

"How dare you talk about zombies like that! I would never even let you play with them! What if you get lost in a city and you find one on the ground?"

"Oh, you know, there are no zombies in Crack Shack. That's the weird part. I can see them." Said Tae Bo. "You guys don't know how hard it is to be this awesome guy. "

"Tae Bo's getting possessive over Riley. Let's stop the act." Said Riley.
↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet