@Salty Spitoon Mae looks fine to me, albeit you might wanna mention something about her having clothes or shoes... Unless you intended to have her walk around buck-nekkid. I mean, I'm not opposed to the idea in any way, just bringing it up in case that wasn't your plan. Also, I'm assuming the things you've listed as "Skills" are her passives? It also looks like the description for 'Chi Strike' was lost, or cut, halfway through, so I don't really know what it actually does.
But, overall she looks fine and dandy, and we're happy to have ourselves a squealing little monk-lass who'll probably chase Branwen around, trying to hug her, for the forseeable future. Welcome, and go ahead and add her to the character tab. :)
I just noticed that my character's Keen Senses ability is really similar to yours, and you designed your character first @Afro Samurai - would you like me to change my character up a bit so there's more distinction between them, or do you think it's okay if there's some overlap there?
Appearance: Beneath the yellow mask he likes to wear, Neir wouldn't be considered particularly attractive. One side of his body is deformed and pale from the experiment his order performed on him. Standing at 6'4 Neir is extremely thin, which makes him quite weak. He always has his hair frazzled, and dyes black.
Personality: Neir shows little to no emotion, he always calm and never panics. And his cold exterior is the same as his interior, you never know what's going on his head. He is a man of few words but is quite diligent. He is not very charismatic but has a peculiar way to make others see his point of view. Another aspect of Neir is how patient he is, he will wait for decades for the smallest bit of progress of his plan. He always plans and has every contingency in mind, when he hunts a target he is quiet, unfeeling, and stoic. The sounds of his chains rattling have been called "death's metallic ultimatum"
History: There is no empire more feared than The Idrosan Empire, also known as the scourge of the western continent. Centuries of war forged this small duchy of artisans to become a major military and economic power. However, during the reunification of the Arlain peninsula, the then the Indrosan Kingdom was at the brink of defeat due to their lack of skullduggery. So, King Hughes "The Great"'s council of advisors voted on a joint program with the spymaster and marshal. This program's name would strike fear into the hearts of friends and foe alike, The Order of Dybulconces. The order operated as a strike team that would find and assassinate key targets. Their impact could not be understated, as in a few short months the war was won due to the assassination of key military targets. The order's unique use of arcane assassins would make Indrosa virtually unstoppable.
Neir would be born to the legendary Kapet dynasty, who dominated the politics of the northern, southern, and western continents. Neir would be considered a prodigy in many fields from birth, such as skullduggery, martial arts, magic, and academic pursuits. His parents as the leaders of the Kapet dynasty used their insane wealth and power to land him a spot in the capital's top academy St. Hughes Cordoba. What Neir didn't know was that he didn't come there to study. his parents had more nefarious intentions in mind. St. Hughes had been used as a way for the order to recruit new assassins without the public knowing anything of the sort. And you might ask why his parents would do such a thing, well his parents believed with Neir as the leader of the order they could further increase the influence of house Kapet, finally taking for control of Indrosa.
After formally joining the order, Neir was put to routine torture and experiments to breed the perfect assassin. His mind and his broken many times to "the shape" an unfeeling engine of death. Neir was seen as nothing more than a tool by both the order and his parents, but he didn't know that. For Neir was an empty shell, a pen to write a poem of blood and despair with the stanzas being every new mission Neir was sent on. All that changed though, one fateful morning he was given his final mission to kill his dynasty for the current King Robert feared one day they would take over Indrosa itself. So Neir sent out to end his dynasty, in the dead of night going to every room. The white walls of the estate became red with the occasional organ or two lying around. As Neir was about to deal the killing blow to his parents, his mother enchanted a hex that would drain his mind. Neir had no mind, so the curse changed to a mark on his arm. FOr he had unknowingly completed a ritual that gives the user great power at two great costs. One was that every time he used it it would drain his vitality, and two required a special hex that would be caused by the killing of your kin.
After doing such a deed, Nier went to another routine experiment but something happened. It was as if the Curse mark had a special reaction to this specific experiment. Neir had finally regained his sentience and at once he was hit with the horror of his evil deeds. Fueled by rage and using the chains his mark had manifested him, he massacred everyone in that facility. Now, as an international fugitive with 500,000 gold pieces on his head, he has a new goal in mind. To create his order, and bring peace to this barbaric world.
__________
Level:20 Class: Arcane Assassin(I work as a mercenary though) Profession: Apothecary __________
STR: C VIT: E DEX: S INT: S WIS: D CHA: C ________ Equipment: Chains of Dyncolnes(Used to surprise his enemies so he can lend crucial abilities) Small flasks of poison(for subtly ways of assassination) Throwing stars and little throwing daggers ____ SKills:
Martial prowess: Gifted at hand to hand combat Brilliant strategist: Amazing at hand to hand combat Arcane mastery: Proficient with magic Midas Touched: Savy business sense ________ Abilities:
Lightning Blade: Creates a blade of lighting that he can use to stab enemies dealing shock and cutting dmg and lowering the enemies defenses Thrill: Becomes briefly intangible for at most 1 second Ghoul Touch: Paralyzes the enemy and gives them a horrible order, giving nearby enemies nausea Rajin: Blurs Neir making him much harder to hit Screech: Makes the target see an illusion that makes flee in terror, A strong fortitude can negate this ability
@ZEDDOILO Hello and welcome. Sadly, I'm afraid Neir is not acceptable as a character. There are many reasons why this is, but I'll try to list as many as I can, as neatly as I can, and you can decide whether you want to edit and fix these things, or try making a different character entirely.
So, let's begin.
1. The most glaring issue is that Neir is portrayed as incredibly powerful and capable. This is rather unfitting, as he is a Level 20 individual, who is roughly on par in terms of power to an average Orc Warrior, or in case of humans, slightly better than a standard soldier with training in a regular army. The feats and powers that Neir would need in order to pull off the things he has done does not fit with his actual level.
2. It seems Neir belongs to a family that has power over three continents. I'm not sure if you mistook continents for provinces, because a continent is a very larghe place - and if they have power over three of them, that would mean they had power over several other nations, kingdoms and empires - which I seriosuly doubt they could.
3. Neir's history does not seem to add up. He was a prodigy who was essentially betrayed by his parents to become an assassin. he was then broken mentally and brainwashed to become a puppet - which would squander any mental gifts or impressive academic faculties he may have had - so as to become a trained killer. He was then used to kill his parents, who attempted to curse him to prevent this, but the curse changed because of his mind and became something else... And THEN, that curse for some reason caused an experiment to make him regain his consciousness and will, which sent him into a berserker rage - even though his Personality-part states that he's cold, calm and always in control. I'm sorry, but curses don't work that way, they don't change depending on a person's mind or mental state. And how could there be a ritual that caused him to regain his self awareness, when his parents attempted the curse while being attacked by him and in a panic? Were they aware of how the Order operated and what experiments they were doing, and so could plan ahead and lay a trap so that Neir would destroy the Order after he killed them? That seems very unlikely too, as there was no mention in the history that his parents ever had any dealings with the Order prior to sending their own son there...
4. Neir is an Arcane Assassin, but there's no mention of spellcraft or arcane studies in his history. It is also stated that he is incredibly patient and can wait decades for a plan to work out... But he's a human... ANd he's 19 years old... How does that add up? I mean, sure, if you meant is a metaphor and as something that would be the case in a future, hypothetical scenario, sure. But it still seems odd.
5. A "Strategist" is not a Hand-to-Hand fighter, they're people who plan and calculate how to best use tools, resources and manpower to achieve victory over an opponent. This seems like a very odd skill for an assassin to have, as assassins do not lead large forces or groups, but rather as singular individuals focused on murdering specific other individuals.
6. He is listed as a savvy businessman, but there is no mention of him receiving training, education or having had any contact with merchants and/or traders of any sort. Also, this again seems like an odd thing for an assassin to have, as they typically just take a predetermined sum of money which is - typically - based on the difficulty of eliniating their target.
7. Given his personality, mannerisms and mental state, I find it hard to see an individual such as this joining up with a random group of strangers, who most likely will not have any interest in becoming hired killers or executioners of some self-imposed sense of justice and order. I don't mind gloomy, stoic or unsocial characters, they're usually some of my favorites in other media, but in a roleplay they tend to not work very well, because if you're not intereacting with others,. they won't likely interact much with you
There are other minor issues, but these are the most blatant issues I have with the character. He simply seems too strong, too powerful, too good and skilled at everything and has several contradictory elements to him.
Name: Vani Silverstream Age: 57 Gender: Male Race: Wood Elf
Artist Credit: 純珪一 Height: 6’7” Eye Color: Orange Hair Color: White
Personality. When someone thinks of a paladin, the last person they might think of would be Vani. In place of chivalry he holds revelry to be his core tenement, seeking enjoyment wherever he goes. He's a lover of wine, women, and boasts, holding the firm belief that any adventure is worth having so long as its enjoyable. He may shirk duties that he finds loathsome, but when it comes to having a swordarm at your back, worse than Vani exist out there. He is loyal to those who show him respect, and despite his negative qualities at least understands that a paladin exists to protect people from evil. If Vani suspects that he can help with a problem, he'll offer his services immediately, boasting that it would likely pose no threat to a man of his caliber.
...Put simply, he's a pain in the neck.
History: Wheras most paladins enter their service through tenements of fate, Vani entered it from a childish fit. At the ripe young age of 47. Born the son of a blacksmith and without a mother figure beyond his third year, Vani always resented the simple life that he was born into. As such, he'd try to escape from under the thumb of his father as soon as he worked up the nerve. The simple village of Marinkarn was one that had a rich store of iron present in its mines. Simple farmers, miners, and a few merchants made there home there. It was an idyllic, simple little village...which made it terribly dull to one with such grand ideas of adventure and wanderlust as Vani. He'd admittedly come to love the place, and later in his life would regret leaving in the way he did. But, for his ends, he abandoned it as soon as he had enough money to ensure that he could travel.
Running away with one of his father's swords, Vani would enter the service of the church of Lolan, Goddess of Celebration, Storms, and Weddings. It was a simple enough procedure, but it would create a rift between Vani and his father that has lasted for years to come. The reason he chose this church is, frankly, the most selfish one can imagine. As the Goddess of Celebration and Weddings, Lolan's followers are not barred from the usual prohibition placed on clergy for its members to marry and have children. It was a very selfish reason, but Vani always figured that someday he'd settle down with a nice girl after he got the adventure out of his bloodstream. Maybe get stupid rich and famous while he was at it. While Vani had always been a bit of a vulgar and lazy sort of person, the sheer contempt he held for his noble "betters" in service of Lolan drove him to better himself...at least, in terms of ability. Born lame in the brain, Vani would instead focus all his talents on swordplay and training, seeking to become a man worthy of being knighted in full as a paladin.
Sadly, due to a mix of his own loose tongue and his inability to master some of the more intermediate paladin spells, he was passed over for the Rite of Advancement. Left behind by his brothers and frustrated with himself, Vani would leave the Church on an unofficial pilgrimage, feeling that he had wasted ten years of his life, and wanted to finally go out and seek adventure on his own terms. Strangely, despite leaving the church improperly he is still capable of using the spells of their order. Perhaps it is because he never lost his faith in her, but rather the tenements of her followers, Vani is still considered to be under the watchful eyes of the Storm Queen. Now, having wandered around for a year on his own, Vani has accumulated a bit of adventuring experience at his own pace.
...Of course, now he was shunned by his brothers, not welcome back home due to leaving his father high and dry, running tavern tabs out on towns that he couldn't afford to drink in at the first place, but...y'know...at least he's killing a few goblin nests here and there. And so the fool of a paladin would march on to the beat of his own drum, unbound by his church, and lacking any home to call his own. ----- Level: 19 Class: Paladin Profession: Blacksmith
Stats:Stats are rated by a letter-system, with worst to best being as follows; F, E, D, C, B, A, S. An 'average' adult human, with no martial training and no proper education has rank F in generally all their stats) Strength (STR): B Vitality (VIT): A Dexterity (DEX): D Intellect (INT): F (Technically an E in terms of actual education, but he's a bona fide idiot.) Wisdom (WIS): C Charisma (CHA): B
List of immunities: Sleep, Magical Charm
Resistances: Lightning
Weaknesses: Necrotic, Illusions, Physical Charm
Equipment: Steel Longsword: A basic sword the likes of which you could find just about anywhere. The handguard is custom however, having been forged by Vani's father. Any future sword that he would recieve, he would put this handguard on it.
Kite Shield of Lolan: A shield emblazoned with the holy symbol of Lolan, Goddess of Revelry and Storms. There's nothing really exceptional about it, but its clear from looking at it that it has been well-maintained and treasured by the one who uses it.
Paladin's Ensemble: A mixture of chainmail, tabard, plate gauntlets, and pauldrons that show that Vani is well armored. He would have a helmet, but in anime land helmets are just a friendly suggestion.
Ring of the Apprentice: A ring traditionally worn by fledgling mages that enables one to regenerate their MP faster. It was gifted to Vani by his mentor to..."help" with his inability to cast more than a few spells before running dry.
Amulet of the Storm: A holy symbol worn around the neck that provides a boost to the user's lightning damage spells.
Skills & Spells: Thundering Smite: A wreath of electricity is called down from the heavens to the user's sword, imbuing it with holy power for a short number of strikes. Because of Vani's relatively low mana pool, he enjoys using this in short bursts during combat as it ends the fight a hell of a lot faster if the other guy is a smoldering charred mess.
Lay on Hands: The most basic of healing spells. Paladins are not clerics, and as such generally are not taught much of the healing arts beyond this spell. The user transfers a bit of their stamina into healing magic that must be delivered via direct contact. Vani scarcely uses this.
Challenge of the Adherent of Thunder: A technique learned by the defenders of mirth that is effectively a taunt. Except really loud.
Duelist: Vani is relatively skilled at swordplay, and is more than capable of going toe to toe with someone of similar strength compared to him.
DUMBASS COMIN' THROUGH!
Backstory might be a bit rough, but I'll change anything that needs changing!
My intent for Storm's Boon (as well as Zephyrus Aria) was that, as Spellblade-specific spells, they would function as buffs that can turn into active spells (lightning spear explosion, wind barrier explosion) at the cost of requiring the buff to be re-cast afterwards. I'll set Storm's Boon to a not-big explosion though, no problemo.
Just so I have a clearer idea of how Stats function, the formula is actually something like Stats x Level = Actual Numeric Value of Power, right? So your grade on your stat is more of a modifier, rather than an absolute indication of how prodigious your capabilities are, and it grows at a much slower pace than your level would?
So at max level, you still wouldn't be at the point where you naturally have S-rank in all stats?
And yes, that's exactly how stats work. They're an indication of your rough capabilities and are more meant to indicate what yuo excel (or suffer) at, rather than being a set, numeric value. Your stats when levelling up will not change, as such, level is a better indicator of overall strength than stats - as only stats of two beings of the exact same level are really comparable to begin with.
Personality. Defeatist and shy, Ciel has a strict line between his friends and his enemies, acting quiet and aloof towards those he does not know, but kind and driven towards those he does. Unless Ciel has an especially strong stance in terms of morality or decision making, Ciel will act conflict avoidant in terms of decision making. He has trouble speaking and will stutter a lot, which is partially why he stays silent for most of the time. Ciel is easily flustered and although he will appreciate compliments, doesn't actually know how to handle attention. Ciel is industrious and gets restless if there isn't anything to do, even if it is menial tasks. Most of the time, this means scouting nearby places or eavesdropping on others to see if he can help them without being noticed.
However, Ciel is surprisingly vengeful and will viciously hunt down all those who betrayed him, especially anyone who is associated from the Lalunes. When enraged, Ciel's usually calm disposition will turn into a clinical cruelty, aiming to tear enemies apart both emotionally and physically. Personal morality mostly hinges upon trying to find the best for the people he has decided to care about, even if it means he has to do morally questionable actions to reach that end.
Ciel longs to feel like a part of a group, even if he tries to convince himself that he's better off alone. He has a complex about his skin condition that makes him difficult to feel tactile sensations, and will pretend that he is able to feel things more than he really can. Ciel is good at keeping up appearances and insist everything is fine, but deep inside he knows that something fundamental died within him.
History: Ciel was a part of the Lalune guild, an organization of spellswords and bandits. It was initially a small group of assassins under the control of a local Baron Teshmire, who inducted peasant children at a young age to train them up as an unquestioning security force. When the territory collapsed under economic turmoil and took the Baron with them, the group splintered and reformed into a semi-honorable autonomous group of contract assassins. With a strictly elitist mindset, the group still performs recruitments in a similar vein to this day. Initially born into a family of peasants, he was selected by the Lalunes due to a natural talent for arcane magic, especially towards stealth and negation magic. Dropped into a world of competition but naturally disposed to concede than fight, Ciel grew up being content with the smallest share and instead seeking affirmation from his older peers. Ciel was blindly loyal to the guild, going through unhealthy training regimen and doing dirty work for his beloved 'family' that had supposedly 'rescued' him from abandonment. When a plot to ransack a noble house was exposed, Ciel was abandoned by his guild and forced to become the scrapegoat. When a hit was placed on him within the jail to "tie up loose ends", Ciel realized that the guild he had devoted himself so much towards were nothing more than heartless murderers and thieves - and Ciel was right there with them. Heartbroken and betrayed, Ciel quietly served the rest of his peonage, now unsure of his values and future. Of course, he planned to pull apart the Lalune guild and serve well-deserved payback - but what then? And where to even start? Ciel has since wandered from one subsistence job to another, filling in menial roles for various military troupes. Perhaps he will find a lead, but for now, Ciel just wanted a break.
Stats: Strength (STR): D Vitality (VIT): C Dexterity (DEX): B Intellect (INT): B Wisdom (WIS): E Charisma (CHA): F
List of immunities: - None
Resistances: - Arcane - Tactile senses (More of a hinderance than a perk)
Weaknesses: - Cold (It reawakens pain nerves over his skin, and for someone who is not used to tactile pain, it makes focus difficult within cold environments)
Equipment: Fey & Fel: Twin daggers Ciel stole from a local blacksmith. Aside from two runic ambers that allow for casting through the dagger's blades, they are plain, crude daggers that have rusted over Ciel's imprisonment. Ciel managed to recover them from a stash after his peonage, but hasn't used them since.
Minor Herbalist Kit: With extra bandages and skin oil for his skin. Includes tools to make basic medicine out of scavenged herbs.
Shortbow w/ Arrows: A plain wooden shortbow with a handful of arrows for long range combat.
Lalune guild badge: A small copper badge with a flying owl. Has no uses since Ciel was effectively disavowed by the guild, but he has since kept it for sentimentality purposes.
Skills & Spells: Mark: Single out a target and set a corrupting Mark on them. Gain armor penetration and critical hit multiplier against a Marked target. Marks persist until the marked target disengages, either the user or the target is defeated. A maximum of 3 Marks can be maintained. This skill has a Mana cost.
Vanish: Disappear from detection with a camoflaging spell. This can be used out of combat to increase stealth effectivity, disappearing nearly entirely from visual detection within shaded areas for the user only. This can be used in combat to disengage an enemy and escape combat. Fails against enemies with high detection skills, and is ineffective against arcane or thermal detection. This skill has a Mana cost and cooldown.
Execute: Attack with the intent to kill, targeting existing wounds to ensure a kill. Deal bonus damage against opponents under 50% HP, scaling with critical hit multiplier. If used against a Marked target, consume to Mark to recover large amount of stamina, and immediately reset cooldown of Vanish. This skill has a mana cost and cooldown.
Hidden Fangs (passive) : The user deals bonus damage when attacking from stealth or when using concealed weapons against unaware targets. Against Marked targets, deal additional armour piercing damage and recover mana.
Lethal Tempo (passive): The user is especially focused against their Marked targets, and gains increased dodge chance against attacks from Marked targets. Becomes more effective over time, but is reset when attacking unmarked targets or when focus is disturbed via status effects.
Silence: Within a small field, suppress hostile magic. Completely negates effects of weak magic, but has reduced effectivity against magic stronger than the user. The user may completely concentrate on Silence to increase effectivity at the cost of continuous mana drain and inability to react to incoming attacks.
I just noticed that my character's Keen Senses ability is really similar to yours, and you designed your character first @Afro Samurai - would you like me to change my character up a bit so there's more distinction between them, or do you think it's okay if there's some overlap there?
nah its good (i didnt see this tag for some reason lmaoo) i think it'll be useful for the party in the long run. overlap is wonderful in my eyes. plus, they're very different in other respects and branwen is too cold as is to be changed!
@Salty Spitoon Mae looks fine to me, albeit you might wanna mention something about her having clothes or shoes... Unless you intended to have her walk around buck-nekkid. I mean, I'm not opposed to the idea in any way, just bringing it up in case that wasn't your plan. Also, I'm assuming the things you've listed as "Skills" are her passives? It also looks like the description for 'Chi Strike' was lost, or cut, halfway through, so I don't really know what it actually does.
But, overall she looks fine and dandy, and we're happy to have ourselves a squealing little monk-lass who'll probably chase Branwen around, trying to hug her, for the forseeable future. Welcome, and go ahead and add her to the character tab. :)
Definitely 1,000% nekkid at all times :P
I kid, I will add clothes for modesty's sake.
And yeah, I was adding skills and how they were lining up where more along the lines of skills (passives) she has learned over her lifetime. So I thought I would break it up into skills (passives) and abilities (performed attacks/buffs).
And for the cut off ability. Yeah, I noticed that shortly after posting. I had fixed it, but you may not have looked at it again after my edit :P But it's entirety is there now. And I think I also added another ability during that edit.
@PigeonOfAstora Ciel Lalune is 'toes accepted, go ahead and post him in the character tab.
@Click This Well now, there's someone I didn't expect to see. How the heck are ya, ya old goaat? ^^ You're very free to submit a CS, provided your old bones can keep up with the post-once-a-week rule.
Good to see you're still around. :D
@Salty Spitoon NUUUUUUUUUUUU! WHY YU RUIN A GOOD THING!? ... I mean, err... Good! Nekkid is... shameful.. Yes... Prudence and modesty are good things... *cough*
As of now, with the exception of @Click This, this roleplay is now currently FULL and we won't be accepting new applicants until/if a spot becomes vacant.
Thank you to alll who've joined and who expressed interest in this.
The actual story should begin shortly... If I can just get my ass in gear and finish up my own damn character...
As of now, with the exception of Click This, this roleplay is now currently FULL and we won't be accepting new applicants until/if a spot becomes vacant.
Wait, for absolutely everyone even if they put a character in the interest check?
No, of course not. Go ahead and submit your full sheet here, I'll review it and then we'll go foom there.
To be perfectly honest, not only did I forget that you made a character, OwO, but I also didn't think you'd come along for the ride. Guess that's what I get for forgetting about time zones...
1x Laugh
