@Aces Away & @LovelyComplex
Timestamp: First Friday after the events at serpent house, two days after Mama Always Said
Timestamp: First Friday after the events at serpent house, two days after Mama Always Said
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Between his hangout session with Danny and Marco on Sunday and his lunch with his mom on Wednesday, as well as spending plenty of time with JP at MSM Rye was beginning to feel settled at home once more. Heâd talked to Niles through text but still hadnât had a chance to reach out to his friend any further. Regardless, with the news he got from Danny and his list of loved ones including others affected by it, his next stop was Elisa DâAmiano. After a quick text exchange the day prior Rye waltzed up to the home of one of Dannyâs older sisters on Friday afternoon, nearly a week after heâd returned home. He had bought a beautiful bouquet of Irises and asked Vannessa at Hummingbird Creations to wrap it in purple tissue paper. The door was left open, so Rye pulled open the screen door and slid inside, making sure to greet Nyx as the black and white feline twisted between his legs. He made his way to the kitchen and greeted Elisa enthusiastically.
âElisa, sis! You have no idea how refreshing it is to see such a beautiful face,â He complimented as he pulled her into a tight hug. âIâm surrounded by them of course, but none compare to you.â
âYouâre energetic,â Elisa gave an affectionate and sympathetic smile toward her brotherâs best friend, holding him in a way where it felt tight, yet tender. Only moments ago she had kissed her husband who soon after took off to enjoy himself at the bar. She got time to herself and him as well. There was nothing but trust in their relationship and both enjoyed their time apart just as much as they enjoyed their time together. Before Gavriel had entered her Victorian house her husband so graciously worked on to make it into her preferred aesthetic, she had visited her two boys sleeping soundlessly.
Nothing compared to a motherâs love and Elisabetta knew she would die for these two. Come rain, come shine, they were her world. Itâs funny when she thinks about it. Growing up, she wasnât that great with kids. Or well, she was a kid herself. The last time she babysat was when she was twelve and she almost got two kids arrested. In her defense, the kids were simply a grade below her so⌠the age difference was a poor judgment call on the parents. She remembered they were feuding with this dumb girl across the street so she thought it was only fair to egg her house. Things escalated where the father brought a bat out and they ran away, then she made a lie to cover their tails. Unfortunately lying and saying they were walking the dog was not a bulletproof plan, seeing how they prank called the house thirty seven times in the past hour.
After that, she swore to never babysit again.
This incident was only three years after her and her family moved to Edenridge and not only was her father not happy with her but she gained a reputation as an anarchist. It also didnât help that she was the token goth chick of all Northside. An outcast who acted like she didnât care what anyone said about her. A rebel without a cause. A scary bitch in black. Thinking about that and how now she was a mother who would bring out the worst of herself all to protect her two little boys⌠it was funny really. How life worked in mysterious ways. How life made her so maternal, so aware, so paranoid for their futures. Releasing Rye, having absentmindedly ran her hand in his hair, thinking of the day Damon would grow to be someone with similar fluffy hair, Elisa grabbed the flowers away from him and took a leisurely sniff, âTheyâre very pretty. Thank you.â With a serene gaze of acceptance and acknowledgement, Elisa began maneuvering around her kitchen to find a vase. As she did so, she firmly asked, âHungry? Iâve made lasagna. Thirsty? We have plenty of juice and teas.â Placing the flowers in a china vase, she glanced back at Rye and insisted, âPlease, get comfy. Itâs been awhile, Gavriel.â
âI will never say no to your lasagna,â Rye answered with a grin as he hopped onto the maroon velvet barstool to lean his elbows onto the black marble countertop. âDo you have grape juice? We ran out last night and I would kill for a glass.â He began tapping his fingers on the marble before he realized what he was doing and pulled his hands into his lap. âHow have you been? It was hard finding time to video chat these past couple months, Iâve missed our little chats.â
Instead of answering whether or not she had grape juice, Elisa grabbed it from the fridge and poured him a glass. If there was one thing she always stocked up on it was an assortment of juices, from store bought to fruit/vegetables she juiced and put in glass storage containers. âIâve been okay. I donât get much of a break since Iâve been assigned to teach summer classes.â Whether kids didnât want to stay back or they were attending class for college prep reasons, it was her job to push them to their greatness. To see that they succeed. Placing his glass in front of him, she smiled, âI missed our chats too, but Iâm glad you focused on family. Family comes first.â With that, she went on to move around her kitchen and get Rye a plate of lasagna.
"Yeah, it does, but you guys are part of my family too, you know?" He responded, hands immediately wrapping around the cool glass and fingers running lines through the condensation. It was a sentiment he had shared with her many times, even before their shared experience in the cafeteria, having created a large found family on his own instead of sticking with the small one he'd grown up with, and even larger than the blended one he'd ended up in. "Especially you and Danny, you've done so much for me. I'm sorry that I didn't check in on you sooner after finding out about Momma B, but I didn't know how to approach it and I wanted to make sure you had enough free time to really talk if you needed to. Have youâŚbeen talking to anyone about it? Or do you want to?"
They've talked about many things, including -albeit shortly- their shared trauma, but Rye was well aware this was a newer territory for them both and he was never good at tip-toeing around issues. If she wanted him to drop the topic he would, but at least now she was aware that he was in on the secret and that she could lean on his shoulder if she needed.
Stopping for a moment as she placed a piece of lasagna on a plate, Elisa whispered, âSo you know.â With her back facing Rye, the third Belmonte daughter frowned. If Rye knew, it was only a matter of time the whole town would know and that was something her father didnât want. He didnât want them to remember the image of Silvia with her cancer. He didnât want people to see how the heart of the family was failing. He didnât want the people of Edenridge to see a lot of things. Clearing her throat, she went back to making Ryeâs plate. Once she was done, she placed the knife down and brought it to her company. âI have my husband, silly. Of course I have someone to talk to.â As soon as he was given food, she walked to the other side of the island and leaned on it. âIt isnât your job to check on me, Gavriel. You need to focus on yourself, hunâ.â
âYouâre starting to sound like my ma,â Gavriel laughed, turning the fork over in his hands. âI had three months to focus on myself while I was helping my savta, sheâs super laid back and independent so she refused to take up a lot of my time. Gave me plenty of time to think about myself and those I love and how I want to show them. That includes you and the rest of your family, but it was always mostly you, Danny, and Momma B.â He leaned across the counter as an upbeat hip hop song played out from his dangling earbuds between them. He dropped a hand onto her wrist and gave it a gentle squeeze and a small smile. âFirst rule of Emergency Medics Anonymous: âWeâre here for each other no matter whatâ, right?â
âRight,â Elisabetta answered before following up with a correction, âYou,â She placed her free hand on top of his and began, âare like me. We wouldnât have connected as well as we did if we werenât kindred spirits. Youâre playful and witty when you feel safe. That's a side of me my husband hasnât seen in a while, but itâs there. Once you make up your mind on someone, you close off. Though, you might be a bit nicer than me. You have the best dry humor which only the cleverest of people have.â Removing her hand from Rye, Elisa gave a smug look, missing the days in highschool where she was a goth bitch who joked too much. âTrust me when I say youâre more like me than you realize.â
Mrs. DâAmiano clasped her hands together redirecting the focus on herself, trying to answer his question from earlier, âWell! How am I? A million dollar question right there.â She wryly laughed before darkly adding, âYou know the only people without problems are those in cemeteries? Iâd love for someone to say that at my funeral.â
Gavriel took the on the spot character assessment well, knowing Elisa had a very good read on him just as he had on her. Leaning back once she'd released his hands, he listened intently to her closing statement and immediately fell back into dark humor while he really processed what she said. "I mean I can start taking notes for the eulogy now if you want," he stated facetiously, miming writing something on a notepad as though his fork was the pencil. "'Elisa would like you all to know you can go screw yourselves, as she is somehow managing to have worries beyond the grave as well. That's lifeâŚand death I guess.' Does something like that sound like what you were goin' for?" He casually flipped the fork around his finger one more time before grasping it and taking a bite of his lasagna. He almost groaned at how good it tasted but restrained himself due to the intensity that the conversation held beneath the quips.
âOoooh. I love that. You should make that a profession,â Elisa chuckled, honestly not really caring about what goes on her stone. She didnât even care if she was buried, turned to ash, or her body went missing. Why would she care? Sheâd be dead. The only thing she would care about is her family doing what they need to do to come to terms with her death and keep pushing on. Absentmindedly, she started biting her nails. A nasty habit of hers she was, to this day, trying to break.
"For real though, this is a lot to be dealing with and I understand if you don't want to go any further into detail, I just want you to remember that you have more than one person in life to lean on for a reason. I'm more than willing to lend you what's left of my listening ability." Because Elisa and Gavriel went through hell together and not only survived, but teamed up to keep others alive as well. Elisa would check on Rye in the hallways during senior year on the days that he even made it into school, and once Rye graduated and had begun to settle again, they had started to meet up on the regular and talk through their shared trauma together. Rye had once deprecatingly called them Emergency Medics Anonymous during a coffee date and the little nickname had stuck between the two. Rye would do anything for Elisa to make her feel better, and he would never regret it.
Withdrawing her finger tips from her mouth, Elisa quietly observed Rye with those harsh and strikingly vibrant hazel eyes. While the colors were the softest brown infused with green, like the forest during springtime, they still held wisdom and strength beyond her years. âI never did tell youâŚâ She straightened her posture, no longer leaning on the table, and went to get a piece of tissue from one of her counters. âPrior to that day,â She returned to the island this time beside her brotherâs best friend, âI was diagnosed with postpartum depression.â
As she brought up something most of her siblings didnât know, aside from Cat, she subconsciously started ripping the tissue into small pieces, letting it fall where it fell. âOnly a month or so from that day I had given birth to my sweet, little Vince. I almost lost him.â Her gaze grew distant as she continued to tear into the paper. "Honestly, that day, I prayed Iâd be the one shot dead by Decker. The emotions I was feeling were worse than death to be honest.â Dread and guilt emitted off of her, as if she was still leaving through the worst years of her life.
âSeeing little Danny BoazâŚâ She paused as her mind drifted in and out of a memory and Rye froze at the boy's name. Once she was able to muster the words to express her deeply rooted emotions, she explained, âI buried my grief and focused on the lives that didnât deserve this tragic ending.â Stopping her actions, she brought her attention to Rye, finally dropping the strength. Her demeanor was small and her expression was that of sadness like raindrops on a grave. âMy mom? She doesnât deserve a slow death. Sheâs such an amazing human being,â Elisa admitted with a shattered heart. âI guess God thinks sheâs too good for this world, but why put her through so much pain? I hate seeing my family falling apart but what I hate more is the fact that such a good woman is dying like this.â
Rye rolled his shoulders as he worked his way through his own emotions brought up by the conversation, eyes following the turn of Elisa's lips and the scrunching of her eyebrows. His own heart broke for the woman that he'd come to see as an older sister figure over the years and he pushed his plate to the side in order to lean onto the counter while facing Elisa fully so she could read him. His shoulder ached as he stretched it but he didnât acknowledge it with anything more than a twitch of his lips. He had asked for her honest feelings and she trusted him with them. He hadnât known anything about her depression, or the reason behind the empty look in her eyes that day they collaborated on the cafeteria floor; he couldnât even see clearly at the time through the haze of shock and adrenaline. And to know that she had almost lost little Vince as well? All the new information lately was having him wonder how heâd missed so much with the people he deemed family.
He wasnât the most religious, the Belmonte family already knew this, he doesnât even go to Gardenview anymore because of the ghost of one Boaz and the shadow cast by the other. He doesnât pretend to know much about what catholics believed either, but in times like these he wished he had accompanied the Belmontes to their church every now and then as a teen so he could speak from a place of better knowledge.
âI donât think your God is trying to make Momma B. suffer, Lisâ. Sheâs amazing, and incredibly strong. Itâs a legend of a woman that can raise that many kids, and she put her foot down a lot. I donât know anyone that could really tell her what to do, do you think even God could tell her when itâs her time to go,â he joked gently. âBecause Iâve never met anyone that would dare rush her.â He searched Elisabettaâs face for any sign that she was understanding what he was saying or if it just seemed like a ramble. âSheâs going to hold on for as long as she can to make sure her family is okay, even if it hurts her while sheâs doing it. Love hurts. A lot. Maybe to her every bit of pain is worth it for the last moments she gets with all of you. To me, that means she's just as strong now as she ever was.â
He looked away then, fidgeting at his fingers and feeling as though he may have overstepped, spoken on something he shouldnât have when he was just trying to find a small light in the darkest part of his loved onesâ lives.
âKeep that image of her forever in your heart,â Elisabetta gave Rye a weak smile, picturing her mother in the current state that she was in. On top of her motherâs demeanor changing, Silvia was tired, so very exhausted. Brushing the tissue pieces into her hand, the ones she ripped, Elisa stood up and went to the garbage. As she walked to her destination, she asked a rhetorical question, âWouldnât that make us the selfish ones? Too afraid to let her go?â Once the tissues were in the garbage, she shuffled to her counter against the wall and leaned her bottom against it, so that she was standing but still facing Rye. Staring off into the distance, she explained with her modulated voice, her thoughts going on in the moment, âAll things fade. Flesh, stone, the stars in the sky, the past and our memories. Everything surrenders to time, including our spirits. I worry for my family but I also want my mom to rest. I want everyone to give their goodbyes while they still can. I want them to tell her itâs okay. Weâre going to be okay. And thank you. Thank you for everything youâve done for us. That, however, might be too much to ask for.â
He shifted in his seat, following Elisaâs words while forcing his own tears back. He was here to be there for her, he couldnât start bawling now just because her words tugged at his heartstrings. For a math teacher, Elisa always did have a way with words.
âMy ma always says that itâs the parentâs burden to know what your children canât or wonât say when it comes down to it. I canât really speak on that since I donât have any kids of my own, but after-â He cleared his throat, leg jiggling up and down on the stool. âWhen I was in the hospital, I wasnât doing well. I got angry before the rest of the emotions hit. I yelled at her a lot, tried pushing her and everyone else that visited away. I broke down crying once everything really hit and I realized what happened and what I was doing. Ma just smiled and said she already knew I didnât mean it, that I needed to get it out and that thatâs what she was there for. âParents take the blows and roll with them because weâre there to be the wall. Whether youâre screaming at us or crying against us, we stay strong because we know itâs all coming from a place of love, whether you know it or notâ,â he quoted her, tapping the countertop. âYou canât make your siblings do anything they arenât ready to do. If they canât get past themselves to say goodbye then thatâs on them and itâs something that theyâre going to have to carry. Iâm not saying that what you want is too much to ask for as you think, Iâm just saying that maybe Momma B. already knows what you all feel like you canât say. Most people donât give moms enough credit, as Iâm sure you know by this point.â
He ended it on a bit of a joke, as he felt himself getting choked up and needed to fix that immediately before his words lost meaning. He wanted Elisa to know what his mother always made sure he knew: good mothers can know you better than you know yourself, and you may never be the wiser.
âBeautifully said, Gavriel,â Elisa complimented before approaching him and bringing him into a tender, warm, and heartfelt embrace, âYouâre such a good son and I know for a fact your mother loves you with all her heart. Our love for our children is like nothing else in the world. I fell in love with my boys before I even met them.â She released her medical partner-in-crime, reminiscing of the days she cherished, the days that kept her going like fuel. She gracefully and humbly smiled, âNo matter how exhausted I am, no matter how hard my day gets, my love for them keeps me going. There is no law, no pity, and no map to parenting. All that I am and I hope to be, I owe it all to my mother. Deep down, like you said, I know thatâs what I am to my kids. Iâm just mom. And theyâll love me for it. No matter the stages of life they live through. No matter the disagreements and fights that will inevitably happen because theyâre simply growing up. Iâm just mom. Being a mother is something fierce.â
As the boy stared at her with adoration, Elisa playfully pinched his cheek, âYour lasagna is getting cold.â This was enough emotion to last her a lifetime, but she was glad Rye visited her. She didnât have many people check on her so it meant a lot to be noticed, to be seen. Elisabetta DâAmiano was a high functioning woman who never came across bothered or unwell. Though her medical records would argue otherwise. She was good at masking that all up and focusing on her family instead of herself. Moments like these truly helped her see she was only human and that from time to time she needed someone to talk to feel whole again.
Sheâd successfully brought the conversation to a close and even initiated their hug, so he had simply hugged her back fiercely until she pulled back and pinched his cheek, a move that reminded him so much of his mother that it left him feeling warm inside. He hoped that meant she got everything she needed from their interaction and he truly helped ease her mind a bit. Rye turned back to his food, not wanting to be rude and let it get cold as Elisa had said. In this moment, he felt like he had done enough. As he took a bite of the lasagna he hummed appreciatively, swallowing his mouthful before smiling at Elisa.
âDelicious as always,â He complimented before going back to his meal and letting the comfortable silence be taken over by the music still playing from his dangling earbuds.
âElisa, sis! You have no idea how refreshing it is to see such a beautiful face,â He complimented as he pulled her into a tight hug. âIâm surrounded by them of course, but none compare to you.â
âYouâre energetic,â Elisa gave an affectionate and sympathetic smile toward her brotherâs best friend, holding him in a way where it felt tight, yet tender. Only moments ago she had kissed her husband who soon after took off to enjoy himself at the bar. She got time to herself and him as well. There was nothing but trust in their relationship and both enjoyed their time apart just as much as they enjoyed their time together. Before Gavriel had entered her Victorian house her husband so graciously worked on to make it into her preferred aesthetic, she had visited her two boys sleeping soundlessly.
Nothing compared to a motherâs love and Elisabetta knew she would die for these two. Come rain, come shine, they were her world. Itâs funny when she thinks about it. Growing up, she wasnât that great with kids. Or well, she was a kid herself. The last time she babysat was when she was twelve and she almost got two kids arrested. In her defense, the kids were simply a grade below her so⌠the age difference was a poor judgment call on the parents. She remembered they were feuding with this dumb girl across the street so she thought it was only fair to egg her house. Things escalated where the father brought a bat out and they ran away, then she made a lie to cover their tails. Unfortunately lying and saying they were walking the dog was not a bulletproof plan, seeing how they prank called the house thirty seven times in the past hour.
After that, she swore to never babysit again.
This incident was only three years after her and her family moved to Edenridge and not only was her father not happy with her but she gained a reputation as an anarchist. It also didnât help that she was the token goth chick of all Northside. An outcast who acted like she didnât care what anyone said about her. A rebel without a cause. A scary bitch in black. Thinking about that and how now she was a mother who would bring out the worst of herself all to protect her two little boys⌠it was funny really. How life worked in mysterious ways. How life made her so maternal, so aware, so paranoid for their futures. Releasing Rye, having absentmindedly ran her hand in his hair, thinking of the day Damon would grow to be someone with similar fluffy hair, Elisa grabbed the flowers away from him and took a leisurely sniff, âTheyâre very pretty. Thank you.â With a serene gaze of acceptance and acknowledgement, Elisa began maneuvering around her kitchen to find a vase. As she did so, she firmly asked, âHungry? Iâve made lasagna. Thirsty? We have plenty of juice and teas.â Placing the flowers in a china vase, she glanced back at Rye and insisted, âPlease, get comfy. Itâs been awhile, Gavriel.â
âI will never say no to your lasagna,â Rye answered with a grin as he hopped onto the maroon velvet barstool to lean his elbows onto the black marble countertop. âDo you have grape juice? We ran out last night and I would kill for a glass.â He began tapping his fingers on the marble before he realized what he was doing and pulled his hands into his lap. âHow have you been? It was hard finding time to video chat these past couple months, Iâve missed our little chats.â
Instead of answering whether or not she had grape juice, Elisa grabbed it from the fridge and poured him a glass. If there was one thing she always stocked up on it was an assortment of juices, from store bought to fruit/vegetables she juiced and put in glass storage containers. âIâve been okay. I donât get much of a break since Iâve been assigned to teach summer classes.â Whether kids didnât want to stay back or they were attending class for college prep reasons, it was her job to push them to their greatness. To see that they succeed. Placing his glass in front of him, she smiled, âI missed our chats too, but Iâm glad you focused on family. Family comes first.â With that, she went on to move around her kitchen and get Rye a plate of lasagna.
"Yeah, it does, but you guys are part of my family too, you know?" He responded, hands immediately wrapping around the cool glass and fingers running lines through the condensation. It was a sentiment he had shared with her many times, even before their shared experience in the cafeteria, having created a large found family on his own instead of sticking with the small one he'd grown up with, and even larger than the blended one he'd ended up in. "Especially you and Danny, you've done so much for me. I'm sorry that I didn't check in on you sooner after finding out about Momma B, but I didn't know how to approach it and I wanted to make sure you had enough free time to really talk if you needed to. Have youâŚbeen talking to anyone about it? Or do you want to?"
They've talked about many things, including -albeit shortly- their shared trauma, but Rye was well aware this was a newer territory for them both and he was never good at tip-toeing around issues. If she wanted him to drop the topic he would, but at least now she was aware that he was in on the secret and that she could lean on his shoulder if she needed.
Stopping for a moment as she placed a piece of lasagna on a plate, Elisa whispered, âSo you know.â With her back facing Rye, the third Belmonte daughter frowned. If Rye knew, it was only a matter of time the whole town would know and that was something her father didnât want. He didnât want them to remember the image of Silvia with her cancer. He didnât want people to see how the heart of the family was failing. He didnât want the people of Edenridge to see a lot of things. Clearing her throat, she went back to making Ryeâs plate. Once she was done, she placed the knife down and brought it to her company. âI have my husband, silly. Of course I have someone to talk to.â As soon as he was given food, she walked to the other side of the island and leaned on it. âIt isnât your job to check on me, Gavriel. You need to focus on yourself, hunâ.â
âYouâre starting to sound like my ma,â Gavriel laughed, turning the fork over in his hands. âI had three months to focus on myself while I was helping my savta, sheâs super laid back and independent so she refused to take up a lot of my time. Gave me plenty of time to think about myself and those I love and how I want to show them. That includes you and the rest of your family, but it was always mostly you, Danny, and Momma B.â He leaned across the counter as an upbeat hip hop song played out from his dangling earbuds between them. He dropped a hand onto her wrist and gave it a gentle squeeze and a small smile. âFirst rule of Emergency Medics Anonymous: âWeâre here for each other no matter whatâ, right?â
âRight,â Elisabetta answered before following up with a correction, âYou,â She placed her free hand on top of his and began, âare like me. We wouldnât have connected as well as we did if we werenât kindred spirits. Youâre playful and witty when you feel safe. That's a side of me my husband hasnât seen in a while, but itâs there. Once you make up your mind on someone, you close off. Though, you might be a bit nicer than me. You have the best dry humor which only the cleverest of people have.â Removing her hand from Rye, Elisa gave a smug look, missing the days in highschool where she was a goth bitch who joked too much. âTrust me when I say youâre more like me than you realize.â
Mrs. DâAmiano clasped her hands together redirecting the focus on herself, trying to answer his question from earlier, âWell! How am I? A million dollar question right there.â She wryly laughed before darkly adding, âYou know the only people without problems are those in cemeteries? Iâd love for someone to say that at my funeral.â
Gavriel took the on the spot character assessment well, knowing Elisa had a very good read on him just as he had on her. Leaning back once she'd released his hands, he listened intently to her closing statement and immediately fell back into dark humor while he really processed what she said. "I mean I can start taking notes for the eulogy now if you want," he stated facetiously, miming writing something on a notepad as though his fork was the pencil. "'Elisa would like you all to know you can go screw yourselves, as she is somehow managing to have worries beyond the grave as well. That's lifeâŚand death I guess.' Does something like that sound like what you were goin' for?" He casually flipped the fork around his finger one more time before grasping it and taking a bite of his lasagna. He almost groaned at how good it tasted but restrained himself due to the intensity that the conversation held beneath the quips.
âOoooh. I love that. You should make that a profession,â Elisa chuckled, honestly not really caring about what goes on her stone. She didnât even care if she was buried, turned to ash, or her body went missing. Why would she care? Sheâd be dead. The only thing she would care about is her family doing what they need to do to come to terms with her death and keep pushing on. Absentmindedly, she started biting her nails. A nasty habit of hers she was, to this day, trying to break.
"For real though, this is a lot to be dealing with and I understand if you don't want to go any further into detail, I just want you to remember that you have more than one person in life to lean on for a reason. I'm more than willing to lend you what's left of my listening ability." Because Elisa and Gavriel went through hell together and not only survived, but teamed up to keep others alive as well. Elisa would check on Rye in the hallways during senior year on the days that he even made it into school, and once Rye graduated and had begun to settle again, they had started to meet up on the regular and talk through their shared trauma together. Rye had once deprecatingly called them Emergency Medics Anonymous during a coffee date and the little nickname had stuck between the two. Rye would do anything for Elisa to make her feel better, and he would never regret it.
Withdrawing her finger tips from her mouth, Elisa quietly observed Rye with those harsh and strikingly vibrant hazel eyes. While the colors were the softest brown infused with green, like the forest during springtime, they still held wisdom and strength beyond her years. âI never did tell youâŚâ She straightened her posture, no longer leaning on the table, and went to get a piece of tissue from one of her counters. âPrior to that day,â She returned to the island this time beside her brotherâs best friend, âI was diagnosed with postpartum depression.â
As she brought up something most of her siblings didnât know, aside from Cat, she subconsciously started ripping the tissue into small pieces, letting it fall where it fell. âOnly a month or so from that day I had given birth to my sweet, little Vince. I almost lost him.â Her gaze grew distant as she continued to tear into the paper. "Honestly, that day, I prayed Iâd be the one shot dead by Decker. The emotions I was feeling were worse than death to be honest.â Dread and guilt emitted off of her, as if she was still leaving through the worst years of her life.
âSeeing little Danny BoazâŚâ She paused as her mind drifted in and out of a memory and Rye froze at the boy's name. Once she was able to muster the words to express her deeply rooted emotions, she explained, âI buried my grief and focused on the lives that didnât deserve this tragic ending.â Stopping her actions, she brought her attention to Rye, finally dropping the strength. Her demeanor was small and her expression was that of sadness like raindrops on a grave. âMy mom? She doesnât deserve a slow death. Sheâs such an amazing human being,â Elisa admitted with a shattered heart. âI guess God thinks sheâs too good for this world, but why put her through so much pain? I hate seeing my family falling apart but what I hate more is the fact that such a good woman is dying like this.â
Rye rolled his shoulders as he worked his way through his own emotions brought up by the conversation, eyes following the turn of Elisa's lips and the scrunching of her eyebrows. His own heart broke for the woman that he'd come to see as an older sister figure over the years and he pushed his plate to the side in order to lean onto the counter while facing Elisa fully so she could read him. His shoulder ached as he stretched it but he didnât acknowledge it with anything more than a twitch of his lips. He had asked for her honest feelings and she trusted him with them. He hadnât known anything about her depression, or the reason behind the empty look in her eyes that day they collaborated on the cafeteria floor; he couldnât even see clearly at the time through the haze of shock and adrenaline. And to know that she had almost lost little Vince as well? All the new information lately was having him wonder how heâd missed so much with the people he deemed family.
He wasnât the most religious, the Belmonte family already knew this, he doesnât even go to Gardenview anymore because of the ghost of one Boaz and the shadow cast by the other. He doesnât pretend to know much about what catholics believed either, but in times like these he wished he had accompanied the Belmontes to their church every now and then as a teen so he could speak from a place of better knowledge.
âI donât think your God is trying to make Momma B. suffer, Lisâ. Sheâs amazing, and incredibly strong. Itâs a legend of a woman that can raise that many kids, and she put her foot down a lot. I donât know anyone that could really tell her what to do, do you think even God could tell her when itâs her time to go,â he joked gently. âBecause Iâve never met anyone that would dare rush her.â He searched Elisabettaâs face for any sign that she was understanding what he was saying or if it just seemed like a ramble. âSheâs going to hold on for as long as she can to make sure her family is okay, even if it hurts her while sheâs doing it. Love hurts. A lot. Maybe to her every bit of pain is worth it for the last moments she gets with all of you. To me, that means she's just as strong now as she ever was.â
He looked away then, fidgeting at his fingers and feeling as though he may have overstepped, spoken on something he shouldnât have when he was just trying to find a small light in the darkest part of his loved onesâ lives.
âKeep that image of her forever in your heart,â Elisabetta gave Rye a weak smile, picturing her mother in the current state that she was in. On top of her motherâs demeanor changing, Silvia was tired, so very exhausted. Brushing the tissue pieces into her hand, the ones she ripped, Elisa stood up and went to the garbage. As she walked to her destination, she asked a rhetorical question, âWouldnât that make us the selfish ones? Too afraid to let her go?â Once the tissues were in the garbage, she shuffled to her counter against the wall and leaned her bottom against it, so that she was standing but still facing Rye. Staring off into the distance, she explained with her modulated voice, her thoughts going on in the moment, âAll things fade. Flesh, stone, the stars in the sky, the past and our memories. Everything surrenders to time, including our spirits. I worry for my family but I also want my mom to rest. I want everyone to give their goodbyes while they still can. I want them to tell her itâs okay. Weâre going to be okay. And thank you. Thank you for everything youâve done for us. That, however, might be too much to ask for.â
He shifted in his seat, following Elisaâs words while forcing his own tears back. He was here to be there for her, he couldnât start bawling now just because her words tugged at his heartstrings. For a math teacher, Elisa always did have a way with words.
âMy ma always says that itâs the parentâs burden to know what your children canât or wonât say when it comes down to it. I canât really speak on that since I donât have any kids of my own, but after-â He cleared his throat, leg jiggling up and down on the stool. âWhen I was in the hospital, I wasnât doing well. I got angry before the rest of the emotions hit. I yelled at her a lot, tried pushing her and everyone else that visited away. I broke down crying once everything really hit and I realized what happened and what I was doing. Ma just smiled and said she already knew I didnât mean it, that I needed to get it out and that thatâs what she was there for. âParents take the blows and roll with them because weâre there to be the wall. Whether youâre screaming at us or crying against us, we stay strong because we know itâs all coming from a place of love, whether you know it or notâ,â he quoted her, tapping the countertop. âYou canât make your siblings do anything they arenât ready to do. If they canât get past themselves to say goodbye then thatâs on them and itâs something that theyâre going to have to carry. Iâm not saying that what you want is too much to ask for as you think, Iâm just saying that maybe Momma B. already knows what you all feel like you canât say. Most people donât give moms enough credit, as Iâm sure you know by this point.â
He ended it on a bit of a joke, as he felt himself getting choked up and needed to fix that immediately before his words lost meaning. He wanted Elisa to know what his mother always made sure he knew: good mothers can know you better than you know yourself, and you may never be the wiser.
âBeautifully said, Gavriel,â Elisa complimented before approaching him and bringing him into a tender, warm, and heartfelt embrace, âYouâre such a good son and I know for a fact your mother loves you with all her heart. Our love for our children is like nothing else in the world. I fell in love with my boys before I even met them.â She released her medical partner-in-crime, reminiscing of the days she cherished, the days that kept her going like fuel. She gracefully and humbly smiled, âNo matter how exhausted I am, no matter how hard my day gets, my love for them keeps me going. There is no law, no pity, and no map to parenting. All that I am and I hope to be, I owe it all to my mother. Deep down, like you said, I know thatâs what I am to my kids. Iâm just mom. And theyâll love me for it. No matter the stages of life they live through. No matter the disagreements and fights that will inevitably happen because theyâre simply growing up. Iâm just mom. Being a mother is something fierce.â
As the boy stared at her with adoration, Elisa playfully pinched his cheek, âYour lasagna is getting cold.â This was enough emotion to last her a lifetime, but she was glad Rye visited her. She didnât have many people check on her so it meant a lot to be noticed, to be seen. Elisabetta DâAmiano was a high functioning woman who never came across bothered or unwell. Though her medical records would argue otherwise. She was good at masking that all up and focusing on her family instead of herself. Moments like these truly helped her see she was only human and that from time to time she needed someone to talk to feel whole again.
Sheâd successfully brought the conversation to a close and even initiated their hug, so he had simply hugged her back fiercely until she pulled back and pinched his cheek, a move that reminded him so much of his mother that it left him feeling warm inside. He hoped that meant she got everything she needed from their interaction and he truly helped ease her mind a bit. Rye turned back to his food, not wanting to be rude and let it get cold as Elisa had said. In this moment, he felt like he had done enough. As he took a bite of the lasagna he hummed appreciatively, swallowing his mouthful before smiling at Elisa.
âDelicious as always,â He complimented before going back to his meal and letting the comfortable silence be taken over by the music still playing from his dangling earbuds.