Hidden 3 yrs ago 3 yrs ago Post by Dao Ma
Raw
Avatar of Dao Ma

Dao Ma sorrow made you.

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

AHH I'VE DONE IT. It's so bad lmao for my own standards
4x Like Like
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Force and Fury
Raw
GM
Avatar of Force and Fury

Force and Fury Actually kind of mellow

Member Seen 4 days ago

Okay, review time! Here we go:

@Wolfieh You've already seen my feedback on discord. Looking forward to RPing with Vali

@Th3King0fChaos Phew, that was a lot to read. Kol looks good. He's a little bit main character-esque, but I've RPed with you enough now that I'll trust you to play him responsibly in service of crafting a good storoy. Now, finish his CS when you have the chance!

@YummyYummy Overall, you know I like Arnaud. He's been preapproved. The one thing that I can't help but nitpick, though, is that he looks like two entirely different people in his two pictures. If you can find some way to bring those in line a bit, that'd be ideal.

@Atalanta The same goes for Osanna. I also like her new pic a lot better. One small thing is the formatting on her age/gender/loyalty/calling header. Maybe just 'Rezaindian Order' to give yourself a bit more room for spaces? That's up to your discretion, though and it's an extreme nitpick on my part. The 'the' does add some force to it, after all.

@A Lowly Wretch Alright, so I've now read and reviewed! Nettle is bizarre in an intriguing and potentially humourous way and, if you can play her to form should be a really fun character to have around. Overall, I like her! Below, I have a few recommendations.
1) The demonym for yasoi is, indeed, yasoi. Strange as it is, no need to tack 'an' onto the end.
2) I'd recommend reading through once more and just doing some quick editing in terms of typos, repeated words, and such.
3) know you like to draw your reference pics, but if you can find something a bit more in-depth and vivid in the next few weeks for a planned collage, that'd be appreciated.
4) I'm wary of any 5W that high. It's the equivalent of a 9+ RAS, which is very, very rare. It's world-warping level magic. To use some THO references, you're playing on Benny, Traveler, and Hugo levels. I'm going to provisionally approve this pending a conversation we'll hold on discord about your character's actions, goals, and storyline ideas. If fifth wheel is necessary for those, then maybe we can find a way to make it work.

@Ti Overall, I like Asier and really appreciate how you worked his legend in lol. That was great! As far as recommendations going forward...
1) Editing stuff like demonyms, possessives, slew/slain, and the like. Give it a once over and try to clean those up.
2) This is the dark ages and the nobility are still a martial class mostly, so I don't think there'd e quite as much traditional noble snootiness and outright disdain. It's more like, "they all say you're so great, but you just look like another smelly Tourrare horseman to me. Prove the stories true." Basically, they're resistant to being impressed and he'll have to show them.

@Dao Ma I absolutely love Maerec. He is everything that a knight should be with just enough of a twist to make him unique and interesting. I don't have a lot in the way of improvements to offer, but see below!
1) This is very well written, but I have to imagine that this was just a small error and it might bug you if you didn't catch it: It is hard to say at first that if he genuine or if it is for formality's sake. There was also a 'diffuse' that I think was meant to be a 'defuse'.
3x Thank Thank
Hidden 3 yrs ago 3 yrs ago Post by Ti
Raw
Avatar of Ti

Ti Bruja

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

Ser Percy - NPC Character Sheet

4x Laugh Laugh 1x Thank Thank
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Dao Ma
Raw
Avatar of Dao Ma

Dao Ma sorrow made you.

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

@Force and FuryHHHH yes thank you for catching that. I was writing something and then decided to change it but I didn't delete that sentence lmao. I'll revise. And I wouldn't be surprised if I wrote defuse wrong. I'm a collection of typos XD
Thank you!
1x Like Like
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by A Lowly Wretch
Raw
Avatar of A Lowly Wretch

A Lowly Wretch The Listless Loiterer

Member Seen 13 days ago

@Force and Fury
1: Gotcha. Working on fixing that.
2: Yeah, no surprise about that. It was late when I wrote it up in a fervor so it could use a bit of fixing up.
3: I'll see what I can do. It's not easy finding something that carries across all the same details of the character's appearance.
4: I'd be happy to discuss it with you. I'll be throwing you some text momentarily.
1x Like Like
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Atalanta
Raw
Avatar of Atalanta

Atalanta L&S Fables

Member Seen 3 days ago

@Force and Fury

I think I fixed the hex code. I ended up having to separate it into two lines, but it’s legible now even on mobile.
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Fetzen
Raw
Avatar of Fetzen

Fetzen

Member Online

Calendar calculation

Brief explanations

'/' denotes an integer division without considering the remainder

Examples
  • 5 / 5 = 1
  • 5 / 3 = 1, NOT 1.66666...7
  • 0 / 5 = 0
  • 5 / 0 = not allowed, as always :)


'%' denotes an integer division only considering the remainder ('modulo')

Examples
  • 0 % 5 = 0
  • 1 % 5 = 1
  • 2 % 5 = 2
  • 3 % 5 = 3
  • 4 % 5 = 4
  • 5 % 5 = 0
  • 6 % 5 = 1
  • 12 % 5 = 2

The formula

Assuming you want to know the honored aspect and deity x years after year 0, you can do the following calculations:

icycle = x / 5
iaspect = icycle % 4
ideity = icycle % 5
number = ((icycle / 20) * 5) + (x % 5) + 1

After this you only need to map the numbers iaspect and ideity to their respective names according to the following tables:

Aspects
0: Aun
1: Zept
2: Aun-Zept
3: n/a

Deities
0: Ipte
1: Shune
2: Oraff
3: Eshiran
4: Dami

Important notice: The calculation is currently limited to values for x >= 0. For negative numbers the whole math might break apart or yield wrong results (to be confirmed).

(Small) lookup table

As far as I know Excel is capable of the required mathematical calculations, so it should be easy to implement an automatic table. Just in case though I've already programmed a bit and created this table for you (can be expanded as necessary):

1x Like Like 3x Thank Thank
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Force and Fury
Raw
GM
Avatar of Force and Fury

Force and Fury Actually kind of mellow

Member Seen 4 days ago

@Fetzen Awesome stuff! Nice to know someone was able to go through and actually calculate all of this stuff! As for the year nomenclature itself, the female aspect signifier (Aun) always goes before the deity name while the male, Sept, always goes after. regardless, well done and thank you very much!
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 3 yrs ago 3 yrs ago Post by A Lowly Wretch
Raw
Avatar of A Lowly Wretch

A Lowly Wretch The Listless Loiterer

Member Seen 13 days ago


@Force and Fury - I've made some adjustments as per your recommendations. Hopefully the issues present have all been fixed, image aside.
1x Like Like
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Siber
Raw
Avatar of Siber

Siber A Creature of the Cybernetic Universe

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@Siber Okay, so I've read the CS and I like her angle a lot. I want to see where it leads her for sure! She uses force magic in a very cool way too and makes being a bard believable in terms of being helpful. A few minor issues below:

1) The names. Remember that we're not just in a generic fantasy setting here. Drudgunzean names should remind us of names from Germanic tribes. Eskandr names should have a Norse/Viking feel to them. 'Jenny' ain't gonna make the cut, haha.

That's honestly about it, actually... Otherwise, you're good to go!

Changed "Jenny" (I am still laughing at this) - honestly I don't know what late night Siber was thinking. If any of the other names are iffy, let me know which ones specifically!
1x Like Like
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Dao Ma
Raw
Avatar of Dao Ma

Dao Ma sorrow made you.

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

I have made my minor corrections for Maerec!
1x Like Like
Hidden 3 yrs ago 3 yrs ago Post by Fetzen
Raw
Avatar of Fetzen

Fetzen

Member Online

1x Like Like
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Force and Fury
Raw
GM
Avatar of Force and Fury

Force and Fury Actually kind of mellow

Member Seen 4 days ago

@Siber Overall, I like your character and her angle a lot. I do wonder where her name cones from, though. If I'm going to be honest, it strikes me as pretty out in left field compared to the others.
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Dao Ma
Raw
Avatar of Dao Ma

Dao Ma sorrow made you.

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

Made an adjustment to Maerec - he is now Second Wheel - Force- Skyborn. All other descriptions remain the same.
1x Like Like
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Siber
Raw
Avatar of Siber

Siber A Creature of the Cybernetic Universe

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@Siber Overall, I like your character and her angle a lot. I do wonder where her name cones from, though. If I'm going to be honest, it strikes me as pretty out in left field compared to the others.

If I am to be honest? I made it up on the spot. If you would prefer something different, I'll have something picked out within the next 12 hours.
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Force and Fury
Raw
GM
Avatar of Force and Fury

Force and Fury Actually kind of mellow

Member Seen 4 days ago

@Siber Sounds good. Yeah, it kind of just needs to have the right sound. Like, think of an old school Germanic-sounding name. That's what we're looking at here in terms of characters being consistent with the world and logical. Thanks for making that adjustment. Subject to it, you should be good to go! Also, if you need any help, feel free to ask.
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Komo
Raw
Avatar of Komo

Komo Chill vibes MKII

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

Here, I'm done! This is the longest and most developed character I have ever made, so I hope it's not a horrible pile of mess!


Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Force and Fury
Raw
GM
Avatar of Force and Fury

Force and Fury Actually kind of mellow

Member Seen 4 days ago

@Ti Percy's hilarious. I'll make sure that he makes some appearances! Thanks for making him a thing.

@Fetzen Overall, I love Otios and it's nice to see a yasoi character take shape! Looking forward to seeing him in action! Here are a couple of minor tidbits for thought and questions I had:
1) How would his name actually be pronounced, what with the double 'y' and all.
2) What might the middle section of his name mean, since that's the one that's generally earned. Might be a cool thing to address in terms of his characterization.
3) Fourth and a half wheel is very strong and very rare. How might this have affected him? Is it an important part of his character? Anybody with that much of the Gift is going to draw plenty of attention for it unless they're actively trying to hide it. If they are, that begs the question: "why?"

@Komo Told ya you could do it! Overall, I can see the effort that you put into this and it's paid off! It's nice to have bboth a wizard and another knight, haha. Two for one! below are some little things that I might ask you to take a look at.
1) Her father being a fifth wheel wizard is maybe a little bit much. There are probably no more than ten of those in the entire world. If he was fifth wheel, he'd probably be a king and able to singlehandedly wipe out that entire army. If he's fourth and a half, that'd still be really strong and worthy of immediate recognition.
2) I imagine that you had to stop and restart a few times as you worked on this over the course of a few days. Naturally, there are a few typos, missed words, and awkward sentence structures in there, so maybe just give it a good proofread and fix those. The hard work is all done, though! I've included a couple of examples below.
  • A small wording thing: tallest of her father’s children and just a head shy of her oldest brother’s height. Since she's shorter than her brother, did you mean, "tallest of her her father's daughters?"
  • Due to her talent in picking up skills quickly along with her gifts, she has proven to be really lethal and effective combatant that anyone who has fought beside her has never gone out of their way to change anything, or say anything else.
Hidden 3 yrs ago 3 yrs ago Post by RezonanceV
Raw
Avatar of RezonanceV

RezonanceV Signature Element

Member Seen 2 mos ago

4x Like Like
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Pirouette
Raw
Avatar of Pirouette

Pirouette Stories Yet Untold

Member Seen 7 days ago

@Force and Fury

I am close to being done with my character. Tonight should be finished.

1x Like Like
↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet