Like clockwork, every Wednesday, the Bristol crew chose to decompress at Main Street Music on the rooftop once their shift ended, always staring with Miriam entering the front door first. The bell went off and as expected, approaching 6 PM, Mandy had her tote with a bottle or two of wine, and some snacks from My Little Darling Mart. She was the manager, after all. JP looked up from his magazine and smiled at her, “Will it be pizza today or burgers?” Probably pizza. They ordered burgers from The Hole last week.

“Burgers!” Mandy grinned, having already placed everyone’s order before getting here.

“It’s unlocked,” JP yawned, glancing at the back door, before adding, “No one is here yet.” He looked back at the latest issue of Mojo, turning to the next page. It was only a matter of time before his store was lively once more, seeing how it was currently dead and like usual, the crew gave MSM life, time and time again. What he didn’t expect was instead of the youngest of the Bristol crew going upstairs, she came to the register counter where he was leaned up against. Usually by now she was upstairs waiting for everyone. Usually by now she was preparing the bonfire. “... yes?”

Mandy cleared her throat and pushed a strand of hair behind her right ear, “Do I… look different?”

Blinking at the unexpected nerves being showcased by the Darling girl, JP straightened himself and walked around the counter. He scanned her in the most respectful way and smiled, “You got a little trim, your hair is shorter, and you went home to change. Red lips and a black dress, Ducky? Daring.”

“You.. think so? Like, is it eye-catching?”

Jericho couldn’t help but feel for the older woman. She had the longest unrequited crush on Nathan Blake, to the point that JP, out of all people, couldn’t understand why she was still waiting to be noticed by him. Still, this wasn’t the time or place to shatter her dreams and maybe, just maybe, luck would be on her side and her crush wasn’t one sided. He couldn’t say since he didn’t know the guy like that but he did know Mandy and when Mandy chose to love, she loved deeply and with all her heart. Friends especially. She loved them more than herself.

“You’re beautiful, Miriam, and if he doesn’t recognize that, he’s an—”

The bell rang again.

“Hot damn, someone help me with these beers. I bought too much,” Michael Waters carried too many cases, overestimating his strength.

With his entry, Mandy immediately closed her lips, puckering them tight and turned to her friend, pretending she wasn’t just talking about Nate. She totally was just talking and thinking about Nate but that's besides the point. She didn’t need to get caught red handed doing so. After all, Nate would be in soon enough, tailing his roommate.

JP rolled his eyes and shuffled to the door that led to the roof, holding it open. “Watch your step.”

Right on queue, Nathan was behind Happy, who was obviously carrying way too much than his equilibrium could balance and he was losing his footing. Nate the Great to the rescue again because he made sure to provide support for his roomie, pushing the cooler full of ice that Nate was carrying against his firefighter of a roommate. “Seriously, Happy, we could have made this into two trips. There was no need to do it all in one go.” Nate let out a deep sigh, knowing it had never been worth it. Michael would protest and protest until Nate just gave up. That and he did buy way too much beer, but better all the bottles be here than in their apartment. Honestly, the apartment still had too many bottles and anytime Andrew came over, there was always a fight about to break out.

Turning his momentary frown into a smile, Nate pressed forward, gripping the edges of the heavy cooler with his knees, holding it steady as he followed Happy’s lead. Nate had never been much for physical labor. He did what he could, but compared to the likes of Hawk and his cousin, Freddie, he definitely wasn’t the bodybuilder type. But he did cardio and some core exercises when he could. Had to be in shape to keep up with the friends he kept.

Seeing JP and Mandy, he gave both of them a smile. “Soooo where do ya want these?” He would ask for both he and Happy, knowing one of them was one moment from kealing over from the weight in their hands and it wasn’t the fireman with the beer.

“Just take it upstairs, since that’s where you will be chillen. Unless you want to save some for next time, then you know where my uncle’s office is,” JP casually instructed, waiting for one or all three of his guests to go upstairs. He couldn’t help but notice Mandy fiddling with her hands, anxiously and a little disheartened for not getting immediately recognized. Jericho opened his mouth to point out the obvious but before he could do so, Happy spoke up, his manly roar echoing in the music store.

“Looking gooooooood, Ducky. Don’t tell me you’re running off on a date after this. On our Wednesday! You wound me,” Mikey gave the youngest of the group a gentle smile, acknowledging her effort but not going into it too deep, hoping his compliment was more than enough to get Nate to look at her.

“Thank you, Michael…” Mandy whispered to herself, avoiding eye contact with Nate, wondering if she should run upstairs.

“Aw shit,” Happy hefted the beer boxes up, the weight getting heavier by the second. “Off I go, climbing mountains and shit.” He joked, knowing he could use the extra steps today. He ate a heavy lunch that he would surely regret later so putting the extra umpf before guzzling down a ton of beer seemed like a smart move. At least that was what he was telling himself.

The door flew open once more, Celadine’s hand shooting out to catch it before it hit the wall. With a backpack of classic treats like ho-hos and snowballs over her shoulder, she took stock of everyone in the room and her boyfriend’s retreating back before settling back onto Miriam. The younger woman looked gorgeous in her outfit and Cela could tell by the look on the girl’s face that Nate hadn’t even really looked at her yet. How tiresome, and poor JP had to witness it once more. Taking an even more direct approach than Michael did, Cela ran over to Miriam and dropped her bag of processed sweets.

“Ducky you’re lookin’ hot as shit!” Cela hugged her friend tightly, silently supporting the girl’s struggle while also apologizing for how embarrassed she was about to be. Pulling away from her, Cela dropped a hand on her shoulder and called out. “Hey Nate! Doesn’t Ducky look amazing? I mean, damn, if someone already likes her they better scoop her up before someone else comes along that appreciates her to her face,” Her grin turned sharp on her boyfriend’s roommate, daring him to try and slip away without engaging. “Right?”

The freelance photographer found himself blinking shots at Cela for a few moments. The way she and everyone was looking at him had him feeling confused. He didn’t understand their looks. Why it always seemed to be directed at him. And of course he knew Mandy looked beautiful. She always did, but was it being made into such a big deal that he didn’t comment on it this time? He just didn’t understand. He gave himself an internal shrug and nodded with a smile, directing it at Cela, “Of course she does,” then to Mandy.

Before he said anything, whether it was the heat of the moment and carrying the heavy shit in his hands (that he set down on the floor because it was sapping the strength out of his feeble arms), Nate actually took the time to look at Mandy. And just…wow. She was all dolled up. Typically their get-together with the crew was casual. Smart casual if they were feeling fancy. But she was dressed up like she was going on a date or something. As he absentmindedly shook some life back into his arms, he also absentmindedly was staring way too long. “You do look pretty. Are ya going somewhere after staying here for a bit?”

“Nate, no,” Cela whispered, managing to sound both exasperated and despondent at the same time, tightening her grip on Miriam’s shoulders while reaching up to run a hand down her face at the younger man’s response.

“Fucking shit,” Mikey echoed in disappointment.

Miriam had always been good at hiding her feelings in front of Nathan, but everyone knew at that moment, her heart sank and it didn’t matter what she did. She was fighting a losing battle. Instead of showing her defeat, knowing this crush was one-sided for years and holding onto a small slither of hope that he saw her, beyond his best friend, Mandy gave a serene smile, “I actually wanted to see you guys before I head out. I won’t be able to hang tonight. I, um,” she stared at Nate, feeling ashamed about the words she was going to say, before excitedly announcing, “I have a date!” Getting out of Cela’s grip, Mandy looked at her and tried to convey she was fine, when she clearly was not. “When the rest get here, give them my love. I probably should get going,” she glanced at her wrist watch and began retreating from the scene, “Don’t want to be late!” At this point Michael put his beer cases down and found him stretching his arms and contemplating something.

Grabbing his phone he walked to the counter and texted Mandy, away from Nate’s prying eyes.

To: Little Duck
so I’m guessin you don’t have a date.
If you want one tho, last min
my sis prob knows a guy
could do you good

Pocketing his phone, he glanced back up and nodded pleased, “well your date is one lucky fellow. Knock ‘em dead, Ducky.”

“Never fear, the Condiment King and Queen are here!”

At the exact moment the store door had opened, a pair of two gym-birds making their fashionably late arrival, another glamored-up duck passed them on by. Hawk had a bag of condiments in his hand, a momentary smile fading when he realized it was Ducky who walked by him and Dove. The smile faded when he read the room and centered on the trail of gazes and glares that went from Happy to JP to Cela and then to the usual suspect for whenever something went wrong.

“He did it again, didn’t he Dovey?” Hawk sunk his head low dramatically with just as much of a sigh that emoted the usual feeling of disappointment. Nate always tried to be good, but how blind could a man who had a keener eye for landscapes than anyone he knew be?

“Looks like it, baby,” Marceline sighed in reply, hip-checking her boyfriend out of the way to fill the void that Miriam had left in her cousin’s arms. Cela hugged her back tight in greeting before releasing her so they could release twin glares onto Nate. “You. You-” She stepped forward and poked the skinny man in his chest, looking up at him with eyes that made him somehow feel like he was the smaller one. “You are too oblivious. I’m going to snap soon, you know that? I can’t take this any longer. Hawk figured things out faster than you, turtle-boy.”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Mikey interjected, with his arms aching from all that beer he was carrying. He decided to crack one open, stressed at the situation. Might as well start now. “Feeding him the answers won’t do him any good.” He guzzled down some beer before licking his lips, already feeling soothed by the taste of his favorite drink. The bell rang signaling Mandy’s exit. Rather than bring any more attention to the girl who wanted to go invisible, he looked back at his roommate, “Is photography all you care about, Nate? Don’t you want something more, like, iunno. Something, or someone, to make you feel less lonely at night.” He slyly slid his hand around Cela’s waist and pulled her close to him, pressing her against him tenderly, emphasizing his point. The woman grinned and rested her arms on his as it wrapped around her waist.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Jericho interrupted, with the sudden thought of his own news. “Rye and I live together now, and no I don’t mean like how we’ve always been living together at our moms’. I mean… apartment living. Pretty sure it’s at the same place most of you live at? Pleasantview.”

“Oh shit really!” Mikey roared loudly, his body finally decompressing from a long day’s work. “You know what that means? Me and our idiot, Nate the Great, got to host a game night. Invite you and Gavriel. Could be fun.” Was it weird he was okay with hanging out with younger peeps? Nah. They were grown and to be honest, southies just did that. Age was nothing but a number. Hell, they dragged Phil practically everywhere and he was an OLD man. It only gets weird if they started dating them and he, who could only speak for himself, was blissfully happy with a girl that could flip him onto a table when he pisses her off. So hot.

Marceline had turned away from Nate at that news, practically bouncing in excitement. “Whaaaat?! That’s so exciting for you guys, congratulations!” To those who didn’t know her, the fact that a tablet seemed to appear from behind her back would have been confusing, but everyone in the store was aware that at least thirty percent of Marceline’s gym bag was filled with electronics. She shoved her glasses onto her face and her eyes were immediately glued straight to the screen and she had several tabs pulled up to different stores and trade sites. “Game night is great but you guys need a housewarming party! Do you need any appliances? What about curtains or dressers? Hawk and I were getting rid of our couch since Piper’s spending more time sleeping over and we’re getting her something more comfy. Oh! Have you gotten your wifi yet? I can beef up your-”

“Dove, you’re getting flighty,” Celadine called from her place still wrapped in Mikey’s arms. Marceline’s head shot up, lips pursed in concentration and glasses sliding down her nose. She pouted at her cousin while sheepishly sliding the tablet back into the pocket of her bag that rested against her back. “Don’t look at me like that, you can do your older sister mother-henning on your own siblings.”

“I’m just trying to help,” She muttered, sticking her tongue out at Cela when all she got was a teasing grin in response. She turned back to JP and in a few large strides she was in his personal bubble and sweeping him into a tight hug, rocking back and forth excitedly with him in her grasp. She sniffed dramatically. “All the babies are growing up. Bernie’s next, Cela! I swear all of you were like twelve just yesterday! JP, am I getting old?,” She asked it in a whisper, not letting the boy go. “I can’t be getting old, I’m not ready for Phil levels of responsibility!”

“Flighty~,” Cela called out again, laughing at the bird Marceline flipped in her direction.

There was a raincloud gathering over MSM, downpouring over it, causing all the joy and love to sap away from those under it. But nobody could see it. Nobody could feel it take away what was once there. Nobody but Nate. Because it was his raincloud. Or at least, the effects of him remaining quiet for the most part that kept a smile on the surface as it was not to show face to something even greater. More damaging that might ruin the vibe, but maybe Nate did that himself. Happy’s words clung to him like a bad ache that just wouldn’t go away. While everyone had been talking about JP’s announcement that he and Rye moved in together, which he was genuinely happy for and smiled when it was stated, it was Michael’s words that lingered.

Yet again, he opened his mouth and let words fly from it that somehow ruined things. Thinking back of the many times, had it always been when Mandy was trying to do something to get his attention? Maybe. But why did he never see it in a way that everyone seems to see it? Maybe there was something broken in him…well there was. You can thank Brooke Torres for that one. Just that one encounter with her prior to the storm and whatever progress Nathan Blake made of being out of her clutches, it was redone and restarted. Ever since then he had been experiencing more frequent moments where he’d zone out. Moments that would be random. He’s been meaning to get back into sessions with his therapist, but everything’s been moving so fast that he hasn’t been able to schedule an appointment.

“Guys..and birds, I’m sorry.” Nate spoke up finally after several minutes of not saying anything, not since Mandy left. “I fucked up big time, didn’t I?” He forced himself to half-smile but this was nothing to smile about and he sure as hell didn’t feel like it.

The music store was silent in response. Nathan’s friends could read him like a book. Even after all this time, he still let his ex control his happiness. They knew the signs, from his mannerisms to little inflections, that informed them why he failed to appreciate what was right in front of him. The answer was clear as day for them. They just didn’t want to admit they were wrong. Although they hoped the two would get together, it was becoming abundantly clear they were the fools for continuing to see hope when there was none. Maybe they should stop meddling and let the damage be done. At least then they could feel useful and give support where it’s needed. Nathan would forever use his ex as an excuse, to hold him back and hurt the one person who loved him through it all. Ducky didn’t deserve that. She deserved to be happy. She deserved to move on. Ducky deserved love and she would never get it, for as long as she gave her heart, time and time again, to a man that didn’t know how to handle it.

“What do you think?” Michael broke the silence, holding his can of beer in one hand and his woman in the other. The bell rang and his eyes went past his roommate, seeing the one soul that knew how to break the tension and slap sense into everyone. The one soul they all looked up to even if they called him an old man all the time. The one soul that could be real but in the most loving way. The one soul that glued them together and kept things going. The one soul they shared a great love for. The one soul they needed.

Phil Bristol.

“I think trying to play matchmaker only works when both matches are ready to strike,” Phil spoke over the quiet room, eyeing each of his friends and crossing his arms at what he saw, giving them the slightest shake of his head. “We want what’s best for everyone, not just what we think is best,” He looked over to JP, who was still smushed against a clingy Marceline. He made his way over to the two and grinned down at the young man as Marce released him, reaching out to ruffle his hair and drop a hand on his shoulder in congratulations, having heard most of the commotion as he ran through his notifications on his phone just before entering the store. “Congratulations kiddo, bring that car of yours by for a full tune-up, on the house.”

This was a lot to process in a short amount of time. Usually the Bristol crew would be upstairs drinking by now but instead, Nate’s shortcomings led to them being downstairs longer than Jericho had anticipated on any given Wednesday evening. “Thanks, Phil,” JP gave an appreciative smile, not one to argue with Phil’s generosity. His car was long overdue for a tune up anyways, so who was he to deny a gift? Giving Marceline a proper answer from her earlier flighty tangent, JP responded, “Also yeah, that’s fine. To both the game night and housewarming. I’m sure Rye would love that. I’d say to talk to him though, about that stuff. Since he’s better at knowing what we want, need and just unpacking in general.”

“Wait too long, fear will continue to hold you back from playing the game. You’ll never know how a homerun feels if you stay on the bench,” Mikey muttered, releasing Cela from his hold and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. Grabbing his beer cases once more, he shuffled to the door where the stairs were and marched up, leaving his friend group behind. “This beer waits for no one.”

Sometimes even words in passing struck a chord with the right people. Those indirect words, whether meant for him or not, he understood the neon signs disguised as words from the group. Mikey was less subtle than everyone else. Message understood. He had to make this right. Not because they were dropping feelers his way but because it was time he stopped running away. Because that was what he has been doing since he was a teenager: using the crutch of his ex as a way to excuse why he wasn’t able to truly see Mandy for everything that she was to him.

A constant beam of light. The support he always had but, in a lot of ways, took for granted.

“I think I might have to dip out earlier than planned. I made a fool of myself and a fool of…I just have to make it right.” Easier said than done. How could he? What right did he have? “But…I don’t even know how.” He was at a loss. Making the decision to take his friends’ words to heart was one thing. Listening and making them into action was something a mile ahead of him than he ever thought he’d end up at.

“Acknowledgement is always a good start,” Phil answered Nate, crossing his arms and tilting his head towards the door. “You don’t have to be ready just because these guys are nosy, either.”

“Phil!” Marceline called in betrayal while Cela, who had her arms crossed much like Phil, dropped her hands to her sides and rolled her eyes. She knew where this was going.

“Fine, Phil can play wiseman, I’m going after Happy. I already missed my chance to grab his ass as he went upstairs, I’ve gotta make up for it somehow before you guys get up there too.” With that, she turned around and headed up the stairs that her boyfriend had previously ascended.

“I’m serious,” Phil responded to Marceline, frowning at the woman. He knew this situation was frustrating for everyone, but these were the love lives of two of their closest friends. More hurt than love can come out of this if things aren’t done right. “I didn’t even let you and Hawk actually meet at the shop until I knew he wouldn’t hurt you with any of his immaturity. Being aware of and acknowledging feelings is a great first step, but if there’s no more work or thought put into it past that, if you just do what people around you want, you could come to regret it later. Y’all are stuck on this rose-tinted viewpoint, I’m just making sure to maintain the pragmatic approach,” His serious eyes turned to the source of the conversation, staring the lanky man down to make sure he was paying attention when he asked his question. “Nate, do you think you can handle what you might see if you go searching for answers, for her? If you can, or if you feel you need to see it, then go. But if you can’t, you won’t be the only person that ends up hurt tonight.”

Marceline sighed, making her way back over to her own love and wrapping her arms around his middle, resting her head on his chest and whining, “Phil’s being realistic again, Hawky, it’s hardcore ruining our rom-com lifestyle.”

Walking further and further away from MSM, Miriam’s mask began to dissolve. Her eyes saddened as she found it incredibly hard to smile, coming to terms that what she and her best friend had was strictly platonic. Part of her hoped they could be something more. There were times Nathan gave her mixed signals, which ultimately kept her from looking the other way but after her mother pointed out her flaws at the recent family dinner, she knew she needed to do something. She was stagnant, waiting on her family when it came to the business and waiting on Nate to reciprocate her feelings. Being cautious was one thing but she knew deep down she was afraid to take any major risks. She loved the thrill of roller skating and rock climbing and anything really to get her adrenaline going; that was different though. Those were hobbies she could grasp and understand. When it came to affairs of the heart however? She was so incredibly lost. All she could see was him and unfortunately, she was only a placeholder for Brooke. A temporary band aid until he’d go running back to her. Nathan wasn’t the only person out there for her, right? She had to believe someone else would care about her just as much as her best friend did (even if it was strictly platonic). And maybe someone would notice her but the sad truth was she only wanted him to see her. Really see her.

No matter.

It was time for a change.

Looking down at her phone, Ducky deeply stared at the text from her friend, and Nate’s roommate. Michael. A blind date? That would be spontaneous of her. Inhaling and exhaling, she shook the negative thoughts creeping up, of how this could all go terribly wrong and the fear of failing.

Change.

She needed a change.

She needed to change.

Change.

Hesitating, her thumb was inches away from the send button. Swallowing, anxiety spinning in the pit of her stomach, she breathed, “Just fucking do it already.”

She pressed ‘send’.

To: Happy
Ok. Sure…

And she quickly sent another one right after:

To: Happy
I’ll be at the Hole waiting.

Gasping for air, she placed the phone against her chest.

She did it.

She said yes.

Mordechai stared out the windshield from the passenger side of Creed and Jokes’ black 2008 Toyota Highlander, a car that he knew well not only as a passenger but as someone who’d personally put work into it back when he was employed at Phil’s the first time around. When Jokes had come back to the motel to pick up Mordechai and Allegra at the end of their shift, the petite woman had announced her intention to walk home to the James house alone while Mordechai returned to base to hand in the money. He’d wanted to protest, but her tone brooked no room for argument and she had been switching moods constantly in the past few hours since their encounter with Rey Rey, meaning he wanted her out of his hair just as much as she wanted to be home with the kids. He also didn’t want to be there when she showed up at home and Lacey saw the wound on her new interest’s face. So, once she passed the weapons check she was on her way, and Mordechai was struck with the realization that Allegra was able to navigate her way home on her own like a pro. Like she’d been here for years instead of less than two months. He hadn’t doubted her when she said earlier that she made her rounds to threaten his friends, but the confidence as she headed straight towards the direction of the James household just proved it all the more.

“I spy with my little eye,” Jokes broke through his wandering thoughts with a playful tone and a smirk on his face, pulling the car to a park in the Edge of Sin parking lot. “A stormy cloud ta most but a source’a light for you.”

“What the fuck kinda open mic poetry shit was that?” Mordechai replied, raising an eyebrow at the other man who simply continued to grin back, giving no answer but nodding for him to look back out the window. The tired man followed his gaze and his heart skipped a beat as he saw Sonny leaning against the brick wall near the back exit, head ducked down with a blunt between his lips and his hands cupped around his lighter to protect the lit frame from the breeze. “Oh,” Mordechai muttered dumbly as Jokes’ little riddle actually filtered through. “Sunshine.”

“Yeah, your little Sunshine, he makes ya happy when skies are gray,” The man laughed at his own joke.

“...What?”

“Nothin’,” Jokes replied back with an exaggerated sigh at the missed reference, well used to it by now with most of his crew. The blank spots in many of their upbringings became rather apparent during any of his reference heavy comedy, so he’s always quick to give up on that and move along to something else. Besides, ever since they were kids Mordechai always responded best when you just cut to the chase. “Go talk ta him, Boa, it’s been long enough.”

“I know,” Mordechai responded immediately, nothing in his tone but acceptance. Sonny was blowing the smoke out now and scanning the parking lot, and while he could see the car parked on the other side of the lot, the faded daylight meant he couldn’t see the two men inside. Mordechai was taking advantage of that to get a good look at him- or as good as he could at this distance- before finally approaching him for the first time since he shoved him away at 13 Carlisle, right across the street from where they were right now.

He looked exhausted, like his leaning against the wall was the only thing actually keeping him up…like a part of him had stayed down ever since Mordechai had shoved him away and he hit the ground hard. His typically stubbornly squared shoulders were drooping as the smoke worked its way through his system, but Mordechai had been reading that body with ease for most of his life and he could feel guilt swirling in his gut at the evidence of how his lashing out had affected the man he’d always loved.

He wondered if Sonny had been eating properly, he always forgot to when he was upset, That tended to make him even crankier with people of course and-

“Mordechai,” Jokes sighed once more, tearing him from his procrastinating, and Mordechai’s gaze snapped to him at the use of his full name. Jokes was staring at him patiently, one arm tossed over the wheel while he leaned back against the door. He wondered for a moment if Creed would keep the former captain in the car for a bit longer and try to impart some wisdom or help psych him up. In the end though, it was never really Jokes’ style unless he and Creed were working off of each other. He shook his head fondly and then made sure the younger man could see his face as he smiled to show his support, giving him a stern, “Go. Now.”

“...Yessir…” The paler of the two replied, knowing not to argue when Jokes stopped joking. The sound of the door closing behind him as he slung the cash bag over his shoulder echoed damningly through the parking lot and it snapped Sonny’s gaze back over to him, this time without the protection of darkened glass to hide him. His green eyed mirror went tense and the hand holding the blunt slowly dropped as he pinched out the cherry before stuffing the roach in his pocket along with his now balled up fist. Step by step, he got closer to Sonny, and with each step it was like the other man was turning to stone before him. By the time Mordechai got to him, the shorter man was practically vibrating in place and his glower was becoming more twisted and upset by the second. Any practice he’d imagined for this encounter flew out of his head and they were left standing in tense silence while the music beating in the Edge bled through the brick and metal of the building. Unsure of what else to do in the face of Sonny’s silent rage, Mordechai decided to leap straight into the trenches and took a shaky breath before going to speak.

“I-”

“Sonny! Did you take my last wrap you assho- oh, uh,” Zion stopped dead in his tracks, half hanging out the back door as his eyes landed on Mordechai and then his adoptive brother. He was absolutely unprepared to deal with all the unresolved issues now standing in front of him, and the idea of forgiving Sonny for stealing his wrap and just getting the fuck out of there was suddenly very appealing. Unable to really look right at Mordechai and not daring to keep his eyes on Sonny after the glance he’d gotten at his surly mug, Zion opted for the safest option and went to stare over the other jew’s shoulder into the shadows he currently wished would sequester him away, which is when he noticed the bag hanging off of it and quickly formed his plan of retreat. “Hey man, uh, welcome back…” His voice cracked and went out at the end, how fucking mortifying. God if Danny were here he would have laughed- nope. No. “Yo-you need me to bring that in?”

“Hey, yeah that’d be great,” Mordechai greeted carefully, unsure about the younger boy’s rather subdued reaction to him. The kid used to follow him around just like Danny and Conan had, sometimes dragging poor Topanga along just because she was hanging with them that day. They’d all been quite close before Conan was lost, which had caused Zion to cling tighter to the two best friends he had left, as well as those he’d claimed as older brother figures. Topanga had snapped at him over his clinginess multiple times in those months, but Danny had needed all the physical closeness he could get, desperate for the warmth and love of the friends he had left after losing the other side of his coin. But then they’d lost Danny too, and then Mordechai had left without so much as a ‘see ya kid’. To top it all off, Zion wasn’t even at the den when Mordechai had first returned and reunited with most of the crew, so this was their first time seeing each other again. The whole time, really just a few seconds but god did they drag, Sonny was glaring a hole into his head and frowning something fierce. The air couldn’t be any tenser. Eager to get one thing out of the way, or two if he were including Zion’s presence in this, he dropped the bag into his hand and handed it off to the younger boy, calling out an awkward thanks after his abruptly retreating form that was cut off by the slamming door. Sighing as he added a mental note to check on that later, Mordechai brought his full attention back to a seethingly silent Sonny. His demeanor only seemed to worsen at his little brother’s noisy and swift retreat, and Mordechai was feeling less and less sure about this with every second he was pinned by the other man’s gaze.

“I’m sorr-”

Not wanting to hear whatever was about to come out of Mordechai’s mouth, Sonny cut him off with a sharp and challenging tone. “Jesus ya just gonna gloss over that? Stow the confusion ta get this over with sooner? Fuck that,” He bit out, keeping his unblinking eyes locked on the other with lifelong knowledge of how much he hated it. ”D’ya even know why Zi won’t look at ya? D’ya fuckin’ care?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Mordechai asked, wildly thrown off guard by Sonny’s interruption. He was right, of course, that he’d had a set apology in his head and he hadn’t been planning to approach the Zion thing now, though of course he’d clocked it. But it looked like Sonny was choosing indignation on behalf of his little brother in order to vent his frustration before Mordechai even got a chance to talk. Not surprising as he’s always been better at fighting for someone else instead of himself, something that the two of them have forever shared in common. Emotions were confusing, but anger was always so clear to them as it was the first one they can recall ever seeing growing up. In front of him, Sonny’s stance was rigid and his fists were still balled up in his pocket, but his eyes were piercing Mordechai’s own as if daring him to try and ignore him. Mordechai could never ignore him, not again. So, much to his chagrin at the prolonged tense situation, it looked like they were going to talk about Zion.

I’m so fuckin’ tired of talkin’...

“Ya know he’s got that abandonment shit fuckin’ up his head,” Sonny hissed, more than willing to break it down for him and drag it out. More than willing to make Mordechai as uncomfortable as him being suddenly cornered by said man was. If you’re cornered and you couldn’t get away, you turn it around on the other person, make them sweat. “Ya never even tried ta talk ta him since ya got back, and that kid’s not gonna go handin’ ya a needle just ta make ya happy like I would so I don’t care what your baby mama said-”

"Sunshine I wasn't-"

"Shut the fuck up!” Rage echoed through the parking lot, cracking sharply against the brick and concrete around them before a strong breeze took any lingering noise away on its currents. Sonny’s face was red and his chest was rising and falling like he’d just crossed the finish line. “It's been about you! I'm talkin' now!"

Mordechai's mouth clicked shut.

“Ya better fix this shit with him soon, hear me? He’s been havin’ nightmares and been cryin’ in his sleep since ya blew back in'a town and ya haven’t even fuckin’ thought’a him!” Disgust and contempt clouded Sonny’s face, the mere look feeling like a slap to Mordechai’s own, but Sonny wasn’t done. “Ya do remember him, right? You were the one that found ‘im and convinced ‘im ta trust Lacey, ya treated him like another little brother, he was best friends with your real little brother. Hell, he lost CT and then Danny within a year, and then not only do ya leave but he and Rye’s family were the only ones that knew what was needed for Danny’s funeral, so he had ta help Phil where you were too weak to!!”

Mordechai had taken a step back before he stood stock still, eyes wide as Sonny lashed out at him with everything he’d never been able to say for the past two years, his voice one step away from a growl and lips pulled back in an angry sneer. His eyes were wild with rage but steady on Mordechai’s own, unwavering amidst his tirade. Mordechai waited a beat before opening his mouth, but Sonny surged forward and in an even more aggressive manner than his sister from earlier, balled his fists up tight in the collar of Mordechai’s shirt, jerking him in close to his face. Just like his sister, Sonny would never lash out in a way that actually hurt Mordechai or triggered him to a pure panic state, the Cernis siblings always more tactful and aware than people quite realize, but that didn’t mean the threat being contained in his body language wasn’t evident. That didn’t change the fact that Sonny’s tightly coiled fists were one twist from cutting Mordechai’s airway off or that his head was one rock forward from breaking his nose. It didn’t stop Mordechai from thinking of all the violent things that he knew Sonny could do, had seen him do to others, but it also didn't stop him from knowing that the man- with more restraint than people would ever know of- could do anything to harm him but never would. He would certainly have never shoved him away to the dirt and left him like Mordechai had done to Sonny.

“Not. Done.” Mordechai swallowed thickly and nodded, heart rate picking up quickly as the pulse in his throat beat harshly against Sonny’s fist. “That’s him. Deal with that later. But me?” A humorless laughed escaped his lips, something so raw and pained that it stabbed at his heart, and Mordechai reached shaky hands up to cover Sonny’s fists. For whose comfort, he didn't quite know anymore. He looked into his storming sage eyes and saw him briefly falter at the contact before throwing his walls back up all in a single instant. Sonny shook him slightly, as if reminding both Mordechai and himself of what was happening here. “I shoved my shit down ‘cause I was just so fuckin’ happy that ya came back ta us, and ya looked half a step away from joinin’ Danny in the grave so I couldn’t bare ta ask anythin’ too real. I didn’t ask everythin’ I wanted, and there was so fuckin’ much. Like, ‘why cut all contact but I find out you an’ Badger still talked?’ or ‘How the fuck did Nolan fuckin’ MacCullum qualify for your phone number but not me? Why is he what finally brought ya back and not me?’”

They were locked in a staring match and neither was willing to look away. The delicate moment held between their gazes paused everything around them and froze their sight to each others’. This means that Mordechai saw the moment Sonny’s resolve shattered behind his eyes like the most fragile of stained glass, breaking as he did. The slightly smaller man took a shuddering breath in before continuing. “And of course, of course there was, ‘why didn’t ya take me with you?’” The grip on his collar released as Sonny shifted his hands until his and Mordechai’s fingers were interlaced between their rapidly beating hearts, and he clasped tightly while using their combined fists to beat a pathetically light objection against the taller’s chest before tears finally drowned out the rage in his eyes as he desperately claimed, voice cracking, “‘Cause ^{fuck, Mob}, I would’a gone with you. I would’a gone anywhere with ya, any time, always.”

“I know ya would’a,” Mordechai whispered hoarsely. “You’re my Sunshine after all, you’ve always been my Sunshine,” his own tears burning at his eye as he dropped his forehead to press it against Sonny’s, not bothering to stop the light hammering against his chest. He deserved everything Sonny had to throw at him and more. The current captain's frame was shaking from a definite combination of rage and an age-old exhaustion, and the former already knew that nothing he could say would really be enough, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to say anything. Sonny deserved more.

More than anyone else in his life, this man has been there with him from almost the very start. Sonny’s nickname was Sunshine because he was that to Decky and no one else, because when they were younger Sonny lit up Decky’s life and made sure he kept it alight from there on out. He was Decky’s beacon, burning bright and hot. And like the moon, Mordechai soaked up and reflected Sonny’s rays, showing up as a softer form of the other man, the type that others could stare at without going blind. They may not be two souls born at the same time like Maliq and Jonie, but a five day difference is infinitesimal in comparison to the life they spent together and until Lanie, Sonny had always been the only person for him.

Monogamy had always been a challenge for Mordechai, and as Lanie was the first person to require it of him, it had been a new experience and he had quite the struggle adjusting to her expectations. He told himself that it made the most sense, that the courts would see a stable, normal relationship with a good girl from the right side of the tracks and that would prove to them that he was on the right path and could take care of his little brother too. Mordechai hadn't seen anything wrong with how he and Sonny still hung onto each other or fell asleep together after a long shift, but apparently with their history together that came too close to cheating in the blonde girl's eyes. Flirting was bordering the line of cheating even if things went no further. Every form of communication Mordechai felt like he was actually good at up until that point had suddenly been restricted. At the time, he didn't understand his frustration, because she was expecting normal things out of a normal relationship and he had never had one of those before so he had to learn to catch up, right? He just never seemed built for doing things the normal way, and the gossip had always been that he was raised to fail at everything he did. There were plenty of times when the gossip was right. Too many times.

But he'd tried to do right by Lanie. He tried to stop flirting in casual conversation and he strongly encouraged Sonny to take a shot with other people while he himself kept reeling with confusion over what he was supposed to do with all these different feelings whilst being in a monogamous relationship. Sonny had already been screwing around with Lexie during that time, and Decky had been hit with a confusing sense of loss he hadn't expected when he’d first been told. Things fell apart between those two just before junior year when the girl was shipped off to military school overnight, but even during all that, Sonny had been adamant that he and Mordechai worked better as a team when it came to life and love. While he never pressured the struggling teen to change his mind, he always let Mordechai know that his options were open. Sonny’s comments had gotten the other serpent thinking about things that would’ve been extremely disruptive to his way of life at the time. Before he was ready to figure those things out, summer had ended and senior year had started with, well, a bang, halting everything on all fronts for him as the person he was building his world for was torn away along with Mordechai’s will to build any type of life ever again.

But then he’d met Allegra, found out she was pregnant with Chai and got found by Mika, and then Phil had messaged him saying Nolan was in a bad way and giving him Mordechai’s new number was a last resort because Phil just couldn't handle seeing any more dead kids so soon. A new life that he’d barely started the foundation of was already invaded by his old one. Not that he’d trade anything if he had the chance, everything that happened led him back to this moment, back to his Sunshine. His Sunshine who’s tears were raining onto their joined hands.

“Then why?”

“Because you’re not just my Sunshine,” The answer was sad, resigned like he was on the day he’d first made the decision to leave. “You’re Lacey’s Sunny D, and admit it or not you’re Zi’s big brother. Leavin’ them would’a torn you up, and mix that with how fucked I was and how fucked I was plannin’ on gettin, I knew I would get ya killed or do somethin’ stupid like get ya hooked on H like your asshole parents all ‘cause I just couldn’t stop usin’,” Mordechai took a ragged breath in while Sonny, as always, stiffened at the mention of his and Lacey’s parents. Sonny had been clean of the shit ever since their forced detoxes in Juvie, but Mordechai could never stay away from it for too long. He always did believe that he took after his parents in the worst ways. “I know you, Sunshine, and the way I was livin’ would’ve killed ya in all’a the worst ways.”

“But I don’t care! I wanted you, Mob!” Sonny sobbed, finally collapsing against the other man, who immediately caught his weight and detangled their mash of fingers so he could properly hold his love up. “I wanted you! I wanted ta be there for ya and not only did ya not let me, ya left me!”

“I know,” He admitted near silently against the top of Sonny’s head, gazing brokenly at the dirty brick wall behind the slighter man. “I abandoned you.”

“You abandoned me!” Sonny parrotted before devolving into a bawling mess while Mordechai held him tightly, whispering apologies that he knew couldn’t actually heal the wound, but unable to truly mend what he’d torn in Sonny’s heart. The heart of the man he’d shared the most of his journey with outside his own brother, who knew every single one of his secrets and every skeleton in his closet just like Mordechai knew his. Mordechai held him close like doing it now could hold him together all the times he fell apart without him in these past two years. Likewise, Sonny clung to him like the second he let go Mordechai would fade into the ether like he’d never been there to begin with. Time stretched between the two as Sonny released all his pent up pain and distress, Mordechai taking it all in and doing his best not to start crying himself. Then, when the shaking had subsided a few minutes later, the door slammed open as Monarch came barreling out with her skateboard to head home for the night, Zion hot on her heels. Sonny shoved himself out of Mordechai’s hold and began violently scrubbing at his eyes and face, unaware of the hurt look that crossed Mordechai’s own features. The two minors witnessing the scene shared a long-suffering commiseratory look before they each shot off in their respective directions, Monarch’s skating far more graceful than that of Sonny’s adoptive brother.

“Sorry,” Mordechai whispered once the kids were gone and they were alone once more, taking the shove to mean that Sonny no longer wished to see him now that he got what little closure he could. He was an idiot for hoping he’d get another chance after how much he’d hurt him, but he’d been hopeful that they could at least try. Stupid. He turned around and took a step towards the exit of the lot, ready to go home and try not to cry himself to sleep while Allegra hounded him for details. “I’ll just g-”

“What the fuck are ya doin’?” Sonny’s tone was abrupt and scared, like a child whose parent was trying to leave them alone in the check out line, and suddenly there was a hand catching his wrist so tightly he felt his bones creak, forcing him back around while maintaining its hold. “Where are ya goin’? Y-ya can’t just leave me- leave after-”

“I’m sorry,” Mordechai repeated like a broken record. “I thought- ya shoved me an’ I just thought-”

“I was wipin’ my fuckin’ eyes ya goddamn drama queen,” Mordechai’s heart ached at the oxymoronic affectionate derision in Sonny’s tone, as if he had almost forgotten where Danny had learned it so well. “Christ. No, you’re comin’ home with me and we’re gonna talk and figure our shit out! I’m not lettin’ ya outta my sight for at least three more hours.”

“What? Why three hours?”

“Well, I mean…because ya got, like, kids ‘n’ shit,” Sonny replied stiltedly while looking down at the ground and scratching at his cheek in a move that Mordechai knew as bashful. His heart melted at both the sight and at Sunshine’s forethought into his home dynamic. “Gotta like…tuck ‘em in right? Read ‘em a story goodnight or somethin’.”

“Right,” Mordechai offered warmly. “Viva cries if I don’t read her The Worst Princess every night. Even had ta call in last night from Blue Hill ‘cause she was throwin’ a fit.”

“See,” Sonny nodded proudly to himself, everything decided. “Three hours, let's go.”

Mordechai let Sonny’s grip on his wrist pull him along as the current Captain of the Serpents led the former out of the lot and in the direction of the Lost Souls complex, well aware that the other man was done with such vulnerability in a semi-public place as the Edge of Sin backlot, and that he was using the change in location as an opportunity to reboot from everything that just happened and prepare for the deeper talk they’d be having soon. Mordechai was taking the time to do much the same, and as their strides synced up and they were walking side by side, Sonny tentatively changed his grip from around Mordechai’s wrist to take his hand in his own. Hope fluttered in both their chests as the spark that always seemed to shoot through them at contact came to life once more, assuring them that even if things haven’t been fully healed, their bond was still there. That meant that there was still a way for things to blossom between them again, and damn it if that wasn’t more than Mordechai could have ever hoped for.



The shower pipes were just shuddering to a halt as Sunshine locked up behind them and dropped his keys on the small table by the door. Mordechai couldn’t help the surprise that crossed his face when he looked around the apartment and saw that the room was a mix of his own tastes and those of Lacey and Zion. Sonny’s shone through in a picture of the Boaz and Cernis siblings as kids and how his old acoustic rested against the wall by the tv. There was even a bookshelf holding all the comics they shared in childhood and the books that Mordechai and Danny had favored most over the years. He must have saved them when Danny and Decky’s apartment got cleaned out after Decky left. Lacey’s hair ties and small items were scattered around and the curtains had definitely been changed to her tastes, and Zion’s skateboard was by the door while the pull-out couch pushed against the far wall of the living room seemed to be permanently transitioned into its bed form, divided down the middle by pillows and a spare blanket. There was a smaller two seater couch in front of a low table between the pull-out and the kitchen, forcing the appearance of a living room in the connecting space while the real one acted as the second bedroom.

“Wait, do y’all all live together?” He asked, knowing Sonny to be rather minimalist and not leave his things around carelessly, and that the other two siblings were much the same when in other peoples’ space. ”I thought-”

“Shit’s complicated as always,” Sonny cut him off, pulling him further into the living space. His plan had been to move into his own apartment once he was out of the dorms, having spent most of his teens under the Edge’s roof, and last Mordechai had known before the shooting was that Sonny was looking into the apartment across the hall from his sister and younger brother. The apartment that Mordechai and Danny had moved into after his emancipation junior year, making that yet another thing that he screwed Sonny over on by leaving. “I went from the dorms straight to here and despite bitchin’ that I’m a lil’ bitch, Lace gets that stupid look in her eyes when I talk about movin’ in somewhere else, even on this floor. Sometimes I can’t stand bein’ in the same room as her though, I swear.”

“Right…” Yeah right. Mordechai thought in response to the paler man’s grumble. He could act all he wanted, even get as frustrated and loud with her in public as he wanted, but there never was and never will be any doubt from those that know him that Sonny loved his older sister and would never know what to do if she suddenly decided to stop reacting to him. As much as she was also an instigator, Lacey knew that Sonny couldn’t process his emotions the same way as other people, and that concern often showed as rage just as much as love seemed to show as irritation. Hearing the way to two talked to each other, you’d think them still living together would have become a murder scene, but Mordechai knew how much those two needed each other and to know where they were to feel safe and stable at all times, and that’s included Zion for nearly a decade now.

“Where the hell is she anyway…” Sonny grumbled to himself, having hoped she would be here to distract Zion while he talked to Mordechai.

“Lacey?” Mordechai asked, having heard him in the silence. At Sonny’s nod, he supplied, “She barged in on me at the James’ house and got roped in ta watchin’ the kids while Legs and I met up with R2 and started our first job.”

“She fuckin’ what?” Sonny stressed as he tossed his jacket over the backrest and sat down on the couch, leaning over the coffee table to pull an ashtray closer before he pulled out his blunt from earlier and lit it desperately, as if the harsher he inhaled the smoke the more ready he’d be for whatever the fuck was happening. And hell, Mordechai hadn’t even mentioned the revelation of him having more family or the disturbingly mutual flirtation between his baby mama and Sonny’s sister that he’d had to watch. Just thinking about it made him wish he’d had the forethought to smoke something himself, as one of the few vices left he was still allowed to indulge in, but before he could even swallow his pride and ask Sonny for a hit, the bathroom door finally creaked open to let the steam roll out while its inhabitant continued his routine, and Sonny silently slumped back into the couch and let out a large cloud of smoke from his lungs before running a tired hand down his face. “Whatever, go in ta Lace’s room while I send Zi after her.”

“What?”

The look Sonny gave him told him that the other man had no more patience for his stupidity today, and Mordechai did his best not to squirm under his gaze.

“He doesn’t wanna see ya, dumbass, and this is his home, so go in ta the bedroom and close the door so he can walk through his own livin’ room without gettin’ upset or jumpy.”

…Okay, fair enough. Mordechai made a beeline for the only other separate room in the apartment, the door clicking shut just as the one for the bathroom was fully opened. He couldn’t make out the words, but he listened to the muffled voices go back and forth for less than a minute before the slamming of the front door made him jump. The bedroom door swung open a second later and he could tell by the look on Sonny’s face that Zion hadn’t been all too happy to be sent back out after barely being home, especially with the reason being Mordechai’s presence. Everywhere he went he made a mess of things, even when actively trying to fix them. Danny was the only person he never did wrong by and he still couldn’t save him in the end. He still failed. This was all too much for a single day, he had to stop himself from spiraling over Zion right now and focus on Sonny and just Sonny and compartmentalize Zion until the younger boy was ready to let Mordechai talk to him. Alright. Here we go.

He followed the other man back out to the living room and they both dropped down onto the couch in unison, the cheap wooden frame groaning under the sudden strain.

“So, Badger. MacCullum. New York.”

“Yeah, them. That…” Mordechai replied, running his hand through his hair.“Badger found me, pulled strings with people he still knows in New York,” He let that sink in for a moment, the hoops Mika had to have gone through to find him. ”I actually flipped out a bit on him when he showed up outta the blue, but he made it pretty clear that he wasn’t lettin’ me go dark on him again. I’d left Phil my new burner in case…in case anything happened ta anyone else I loved while I was gone, and he called me up one day and said that givin’ Nolan my number was the only thing he could think of ta help him out. We barely ever talked too much, he just reached out when he had no one else. I actually only came back because I was fucked up enough when he called me that I said yes without thinkin' and I just started hitchhikin'.”

“Still could’a let Badger tell us about ya,” Sonny countered abrasively. “Shit, we didn’t have ta know where ya were or what was even goin’ on in your life, but I deserved a helluva lot more than ’He’s alive’ outta the fucker. Once ya let him and MacCullum back in ya should’a reevaluated where ya stood with the rest of us. Those of us that knew ya before the other side’a the tracks took ya over. The ones that grew up with ya.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” He ceded quietly, no excuse in his mind for his actions.

“And the girlfriend?” Sonny barreled on without a second thought for the apology, reaching below the table to pull out his smoke box and pull out a new blunt. “She came up talkin’ real demandin’ about ya, I almost went off the rails and smacked the shit outta her before she told me who she was.”

“I didn’t know she went around like that, but I’m glad ya didn’t hit my baby mama,” Mordechai started weakly, Sonny tilting his head to the side to glare at him while he sighed. “No I’m serious, I knew she had me on lockdown but I didn’t know she had everyone else locked out, I just found out earlier ‘cause Jokes made a comment. I just figured no one she didn’t know was allowed through, not that she went around threatenin’ everyone,” Because Allegra really just went around the first week or so of her residence in Edenridge and threatened the gang members who lived there. He couldn’t believe the level of audacity and self-assurance the five foot tall nineteen year old had. Any other gang members than the ones Mordechai knew closely and she could have gotten herself killed, or at the very least beaten to the brink, but she strutted her way through threats and warnings with confidence. “I’m not excusin’ it I’m just explainin’. Also she ain’t my girlfriend, we’ve never dated.”

“Y’all live together, got a kid together, and ya adopted her other kid,” Sonny piped up unhelpfully while ticking each point off on his fingers, recalling their conversation from when Mordechai first returned to town, and Mordechai repressed the glare he wanted to send the man. “Ya moved her ta your hometown-”

“She moved herself here,” Mordechai interrupted. “Literally bought the plane tickets while on the phone with me and Poppy the night after Carlisle,” Sonny closed his mouth but was still watching Mordechai, and with his eyes on him Mordechai couldn’t help but shift uncomfortably in his seat. “It’s like ya said earlier, I wasn’t doin’ well when I came back. Carlisle made it worse, and when Legs saw that on the phone she just made a plan and ran with it, y’know? She does that. She called Badger and sent him after me, and since he found me at Danny’s grave I’ve just been in the James house,” He specifically omitted his stay with Mary-Anne Zima, forever protective and respectful of Mika’s privacy surrounding his family, even with Sonny. “Badger is the only person aside from Legs and the James family that I had contact with. It wasn’t nothin’ against the Serpents specifically, if there was any chance I could be set off Legs kept it away from me. She didn’t even let me read the fuckin’ news.”

“Well at least you’ve been miserable this whole time too,” Sonny replied after a moment of silence before hitting his blunt with a bit of a vindictive smirk and passing it to the other man. As Mordechai accepted it he had to do a double take at the sudden amusement in the other’s green eyes.

“Wait, d’you like her now that you’ve heard that?”

“Fuck no,” Sonny denied, smirk falling into a neutral line and eyes going blank. “I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about. I do got a question, though.”

“...Yeah?” Mordechai asked warily, leaning away from him.

“How many stints inside does this make for ya, and was the warden that ya fucked your favorite-”

“Oh fuck off Sunshine-”

“No, really, that’s a helluva a way ta get time served, just sayin’-”

“Are we really doin’ this?”

“No,” Sonny replied, rolling his eyes and snatching his blunt out of Mordechai’s hands. “I’m still upset.”

Mordechai flexed his hands open and closed a few times in frustration, knowing Sonny swinging back and forth in his mood was because of the turmoil that he’d thrown the other man into with his sudden presence. Sonny could always switch up attitudes on a dime, and he weaponized this in arguments with people like Mordechai who try to read the flow of a conversation. Sonny and Mordechai knew every button that they could press on one another, and they’d had most of their lives to test their limits, so both men in the room knew exactly what was going on when Sonny gazed steadily back against Mordechai’s glare. Most of the Serpents had seen Sonny use this technique to fluster Mordechai on more than one occasion, but not many had seen him use it vindictively.

“Look…Badger, Pops, and Legs, they all worked hard ta make sure I’d be able ta be sober-”

“Fuck that, what about yourself?” Sonny spat out angrily before Mordechai could finish his sentence. Sparks flew as he flicked the ash out into the tray and turned to glare at the stumped man. “Ya gonna leave all your accomplishments at the feet of others like ya always have? I let it slide the first time for the sake of the warden joke but you’re not pullin’ that again.”

“What?” Mordechai repeated for what seemed to be the thousandth time today. “What the hell’re ya talkin’ about Sunshine-”

“They worked hard so you’re sober, Phil gave ya a job so you’d have a wage, Lancaster and Beau did everythin’ ta make sure you’re emancipation was processed.”

“...Yeah?”

“Yeah?” he mocked, face sour. “Fuck you. What about sayin’ I got sober ‘cause I needed to, I started a job and ran a crew younger than most people hit puberty because I had ta raise my brother, I worked away my teenage years and figured out the legal system enough ta get emancipated and get my little brother out?” Sonny was glaring at Mordechai as the other seemed to be short circuiting in front of him. “Seriously? Every bad thing that’s ever so much as happened around ya is somehow your fault, but the second ya have your own accomplishments they belong ta someone else?”

“...Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

“We- I can’t- why are we talkin’ about this? Wasn’t I apologizin’? Explainin’?”

“Then do it right, Mordechai.” Sonny snapped, his tone breaking right through the tension between them and creating a whole new one. Years of that tone being used for commands in the bedroom and to bring him out of fogs flashed through Mordechai’s mind and brought heat rushing to his face. He cleared his throat and looked away, ready to speak again until Sonny stopped him with a curt, “Explain everythin’ ta me without your self depricatin’ bullshit or keep your fuckin’ mouth shut.”

After that, silence stretched between the two while the blunt was passed back and forth, Sonny letting Mordechai get his thoughts together and Mordechai following orders to not say anything until he’d done so. Finally, as the cherry was burning down to the filter, Mordechai took a deep breath and sat forward with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

“I got sober again. People helped, but I did that.”

“Good,” Sonny replied evenly, finally giving Mordechai his gaze again to show his approval but not budging any further. “Continue.”

“I got sober because I needed ta be and it was the best choice for my life. I stayed in the house, let Legs keep me there, because I knew that was the only way I’d get through it without immediate relapses. I listen ta her because I know that anythin’ she does with me is to make sure that her kids continue ta have a father growin’ up. She doesn’t just control me, I need ya ta understand that,” Sonny’s face was a mask of indifference, giving Mordechai no sign of his thoughts so far. “Allegra’s gonna be a part of my life no matter what from now on, that’s not even somethin’ that I would want ta change if I could,” He continued earnestly, thinking back on all the things that Allegra has done for him in the past two years, knowing that he has perspective on her and her attitude that others didn’t. “She’s saved my life, Sonny.”

“Wouldn’t’ve had ta if you’d just stayed here with me,” Sonny replied combatively but without any real heat, letting the other know that it was just for argument’s sake. “Whatever, so she’s here for good? She good for ya? Y’all still fuckin’?”

“She’s great for me, and no, not since I last left her and the kids in New York, like a month before comin’ ta town,” He answered honestly. “Hell, pretty sure from the scene I witnessed earlier that she’s already got her eyes on your sister now.”

“Oh Jesus christ, gross,” Sonny groaned before promptly pushing that bit of information away for another time, unwilling to get sidetracked. “Fine, so she’s gonna be around, so long as she doesn’t keep ya away from me anymore I don’t give a shit what she does. What about the Serpents? You’re back?”

“Bottom rung of the Rose crew,” Sonny pulled a face and Mordechai raised his hands placatingly. “I know, Tate actually asked if I could handle it, but I’m good and Legs is partnerin’ with me, just trust that. I’ll work my way back up, fight in the Pit for extra money if this and my job at Phil’s can’t cover everythin’ I need. Don’t start any shit with R2 over this, he hates ya as is.”

A look flashed across Sonny’s face, the same one that always came over him when Rey Rey’s attitude towards him was brought up. It was a face that said ’he has his reasons’ without giving anything more away, and Mordechai wondered if he thought that face kept him from putting the puzzle pieces together years ago. Rey Rey was as fine with Sonny upon their introduction to the crew as he was with anyone else, but something changed around New Years of Sophomore year. Sonny and Lacey’s parents go missing and suddenly Sonny is on Rey Rey’s shitlist. As someone that knew the Cernis parents and how they treated their kids, as well as knowing it happened around New Years when they liked to have a big blowout and beat down- knowing that the Cernis parents had blown back into town early and ruined Lacey’s anniversary surprise for Zion who would have been hiding in the basement around that time- Mordechai and Danny had talked about the likelihoods in the dark that night and then promptly locked their lips and thrown away the key. It was the one thing Sonny never talked about with Mordechai, but that didn’t mean he didn’t still know.

“I’m not leavin’ ya again, Sunshine,” Mordechai said after the silence had relaxed from tense to comfortable. “I can’t say I’ll never hurt ya, but I won’t hurt ya like that. Not again.”

“That’s not a promise,” Sonny retorted quietly as their eyes connected, and Mordechai could tell that both the questions and the fight had finally left him. Seeming to have noticed it himself, Sonny tried to break their gaze and muster up more combative energy, and Mordechai reached out and caught Sonny’s face to stop it from turning. “This isn’t over, I’m gonna have more questions.”

“We don’t believe in promises,” Mordechai countered, leaning in as Sonny’s gaze sharpened and narrowed in on him. “And I’ll answer any questions ya got, but right now…right now can we just be here with each other before I have ta go back ta the James’? I’ve missed ya so fuckin’ much and this barely touchin’, barely lookin’ shit is killin’ me.”

“Imagine how I felt the past two years,” Sonny protested but didn’t pull his face away. He turned fully towards Mordechai and knocked the hand off of his jaw, sending his own hand forward to fist into Mordechai’s collar in a mock of their earlier situation. Mordechai barely had a chance to react before Sonny was yanking him forward to crash their lips together in desperation, well past his ability to remain aloof in the other man’s presence. He pulled Mordechai over him and he shifted down on the couch, the other man following as he chased his lips. Taking a second for breath, Sonny propped himself on his elbow, other hand still in Mordechai’s collar. “I told Zi not ta come back with Lace till I text him, how much’a those three hours we got left?”

Mordechai fumbled to pull his phone out of his pocket and check the time on the screen. “About two. We could do plenty in that time.”

“Oh we’re gonna do plenty in that time.” With that, Sonny pulled Mordechai back down to his lips, the taller man’s phone falling carelessly to the ground, forgotten for the moment even as it buzzed and lit up with a message from Duke.

Sitting outside on the balcony of their hotel room of the Boston Yacht Haven Inn & Marina, watching the boats bob in the harbor as the sun welcomed a new day, Niles Sinclair relaxed his shoulders and quietly took a sip of his iced coffee from the local Starbucks. While it wasn’t Beau’s apple crisp macchiato, it at least still reminded him of the place he called home. In one of his hands he had his drink, having put his wife’s beverage and a vase filled with flowers in the kitchenette until she woke, and in his other hand was a book that wasn’t medical related.

Thank God.

He made the firm decision to not think about school or his residency while he was on vacation. If there was anyone that taught him to relax it would be the woman soundlessly asleep in their shared hotel bed. Or was she in the shower? Niles glanced back to confirm the whereabouts of his wife, his gaze immediately going to the light in the bathroom. Sitting in his thoughts, turning his attention back to the view and reading the book made by a former classmate of theirs, Charlie Decker, Niles smiled as his eyes scanned the line:

Whatever the pain I feel, no matter the hurt, I look through my window into hers and I see her. I see her and I know my life has meaning. She is the air I breathe. William Henley once said I am the Captain of my soul. She is the Captain of mine.

A story that compelled him like the great classics did. Hemingway, Dickens, Steinbeck, Wilde and so much more. A story that made him realize there was someone out there that saw the world for what it was and had anger bottling up inside him, just like him. The biggest difference was, and always will be, Niles knew he was born in privilege and it was in his privilege, he would have the better hand to succeed at life. Whatever success may be. Whether it was in love or within his career, or something else, Niles had more tools and resources to pursue it, with a good head on his shoulders. Something the narrator struggled with all his life, as well as the constant struggle of not communicating or even processing his emotions well. Niles could understand that and no money could get him to talk the chaos in his mind out, or express the raging storm in his heart. A woman though? A woman could and did everyday.

Through a series of letters that is cleverly threaded together, gradually allowing the audience to grow with the narrator, who discovers himself through numerous revelations, giving the reader a sense of revivification, Niles found himself contemplative and filled with nostalgia. The narrator found his golden compass, a woman as bright as the moon in the dark, night sky, just as Niles had with Natalia. His forever girl with galaxies in her gorgeous, green eyes. In a sense, when he read this cautionary tale, which warned readers of the dangers of not finding their code, he felt that, in another world, parallel to this one, if Niles had less than, maybe he would have struggled just as much as the narrator has. Or perhaps, even if he still had this privilege that he used to take for granted, maybe he would stop listening to that voice that told him to channel his anger into his potential. maybe he would’ve let the darkness creep up and consume him, choosing the path that no saints walk but doing it well, giving his darkness a name.

Damn, he was starting to think like Beau.

Sighing to himself, he closed the book, placing it and his drink down on the balcony table. Standing up, he stretched his body and made his way to the railing, leaning against it to stare at the warm colors of the coming day. He and Natalia had arrived two days ago but decided to take some time to themselves in Boston before driving home to do the ‘we’re back’ routine. Saying hi to their fathers and siblings, getting texts of people they hadn’t seen in months or years of them wanting to hang, and just finding time to reconnect with their roots. That was all fine and dandy but Niles wanted to prioritize one thing over everything else and that was visiting their moms’ graves. Everytime they came back, they always made time to see their mothers. It was the one thing that centered him and reminded him that everything he was working toward had purpose and meaning. Everything he did would be a life his mother would be proud about and something that made Natalia the happiest woman alive.

Niles didn’t crack the code of what absolute happiness was but as long as he had Natalia at his side, that’s all that really mattered. She was his reason to keep pushing forward and he would make sure she never regrets the decision of committing herself to him, even if he knew there will be days he won’t be the easiest man to love. He would rather fight with his wife over something stupid than live a life without her. The idea of losing Natalia was devastating so he’d work his ass off to make her feel loved and that he and her? They were forever. That she knew time and time again that he wanted her. There was no other person he would rather be with than her and like yesterday and tomorrow, today he wanted her. He wouldn’t stop wanting her. And if she could accept that he wasn’t bulletproof, he would love her so fiercely that when she woke up and when she went to bed there was no doubt in her mind that she was loved.

He loved her.

She loved him.

That was the singular, repetitive thought at the forefront of Natalia Sinclair’s mind as she let the warm water of the hotel shower run through her body. Much like their families, Natalia and Niles had been a united front against the triumphs and challenges of life since they were children meeting at daycare for the first time and becoming best friends. Additions to their respective family units, conflicts with their parents or siblings, puberty, academic and sporting achievements, expansions or reductions in their friendship circles, the devastating losses of their mothers… These and many more events had served to define their relationship throughout the years.

They had their ups and downs like everyone else, and time periods in which they set each other free out of love and the genuine intention of allowing one another the space to spread their wings and experience life beyond the confines of their relationship. Rather than separate them, their times apart only helped solidify what they had known all along: that they were meant to travel this road together. Sure: the college flings had been fun and all, and she'd met wonderful people along the way. But if she was truly honest with herself, Natalia always knew that none of them were ever going to work. She unconsciously searched for Niles in every partner she had while they were separated, and every one of them always seemed to come up short. They couldn't make her laugh like he did. They couldn't cheer her up like he did. They couldn't please her in the way that he could. They couldn't understand her at the level that he did. At the end of the day, whenever she found herself celebrating the highest of highs or battling the lowest of lows, it was Niles who Natalia went back to-- who she always wanted to go to. The day they got engaged and the day they united their lives in marriage were two of the happiest days of her life (as evidenced by the amount of hours she spent inconsolably crying with joy after each event).

Sometimes, whenever she would wake up from slumber to what felt like an empty space next to her in the bed, a deep-seated fear settled on the pit of Natalia's stomach. ‘Everything has been a dream,’ a voice in her head would say. ‘Everything has been a figment of your very vivid imagination. None of it was ever real. Your life as you know it has been a lie.’ Her chest would begin to tighten as the panic would start to set in, and she began to desperately search for proof that the voice in her head was wrong. Then her eyes would fall on the silhouette of the love of her life, her Niles Conall Sinclair, and the storm raging inside her would settle. Nothing was a lie. Everything was real. She wasn't alone in the world. She had her Niles.

Everything was good.

With her shower now over with, the green-eyed woman toweled off the water droplets off her hair and skin, slipped into the matching fluffy white slipper and robe set provided to them by the hotel, and exited the bathroom, leaving a citrus-scented trail behind her. 6 noticed the coffee and the flowers waiting for her on the kitchenette, Tal's Face broke into a beaming smile. That was her Niles: always making sure she knew just how much she was loved with little details like this. She took a sip of her drink as she scanned the room, enjoying the way the sweet liquid warmed her insides while her eyes searched for her elusive husband. She spotted him outside the room and on the balcony, leaning against the railing and looking absolutely absorbed in his own head.

Perfect

With a mischievous smile spread across her face, Natalia walked across the room. She slid the glass door that led to the balcony as quietly as she could in hopes that Niles was too wrapped up in his thoughts to pay any attention to his surroundings. Her slipper-clad feet barely made a sound as she tiptoed closer and closer to the man’s oblivious figure, until…

"Boo!" Tal shrieked loudly at the same time she grabbed her husband’s waist with both hands. Snickering at his startled reaction, the young woman wrapped her arms around Niles and peppered his cheek with kisses-- an important part of her normal routine. “Good morning, sunshine!” she greeted the man, nuzzling her face into his neck. “Thank you for the coffee and the flowers. That was a nice way to start off my day.”

“You’re energetic,” Niles chuckled, coming back from a high of her scaring the shit out of him. He had hyper focused on the view to the point that he had forgotten where he was for a second. Something his mind tended to do when he drifted into a headspace of melancholy. Years, it’s been years of him struggling with his mental health. Therapy session after therapy session, the pressure of school and the expectations of his father, especially when his old man does decide to retire. In addition to all that, Niles was still trying to maneuver through the world of wellness and self care just to feel and be happy. While the infinite sadness still lingered inside him — grief wasn’t something that just went away, it would live with him forever — Niles knew where he was and how far he'd come. This was the best place for him to be in. And he wasn’t alone. He had Natalia at his side and when he couldn’t be strong, she was there to help him walk, as he was there for her when the world became too much for her to carry.

They both suffered great losses and their hearts, their minds and their souls would never be the same. They were reprogrammed and forever changed. And yet, throughout it all, they were still standing and if he had things his way, they would never fall. But if they did, he’d make sure that they were together, throughout it all. Neither alone.

Contemplative of his reading, he turned his head to look at his wife. Leaning in, he pressed his lips against hers and breathed her citrus scent in. These lips, always on his mind. “This is the best way to start things off.” Kissing the love of his life. His one and only. His Natalia.

The first time Natalia’s lips had met with Niles’ had been well over a decade ago. She remembered the anticipation reflected as butterflies in her stomach like it was yesterday, along with the fireworks behind her eyelids when they kissed, the weakness in her knees when their kisses grew deeper a few years later, the way her head always felt like it was spinning and how the air seemed to be sucked out of her lungs… It was the same way she was feeling right now, as they kissed on the balcony of their shared hotel room-- the same way she had felt since they were young. “You’re absolutely right,” she agreed with a smile, momentarily resting her forehead against his before allowing their lips to come together once more.

“Hey, look,” he whispered, unlatching her hold around him. Gently, he directed her in front of him, pointing to the sunrise. Wrapping one arm around her waist, and the other around her chest, holding her close, possessively, Niles kissed her neck, brushing his nose against her skin. He leaned his cheek against hers as they stared at the beautiful view. “What do you see?”

“Water,” Natalia answered matter-of-factly, unable to stop herself. Leave it to her to make a joke during what was supposed to be a serious, romantic moment. Attempts at humor were her way of lightening the mood before easing into any potentially more serious subjects. Chuckling from Niles’ reaction, she added, “The sunrise. In the distance. Reflected over the ocean.” There, that was a better answer.

Niles chuckled, rolling his eyes in response. He was trying to be romantic but there she was, cracking jokes. He didn’t mind. It was one of the many things he loved about her. “I see a new beginning, and a new ending. We can breathe in this fresh air and take the morning as a new start. Leave the bad behind and move forward into the future. Today, we welcome a new day to grow together. A new day to be grateful. And then tomorrow we can start all over again.” He rested his chin on her shoulder and closed his eyes, not wanting to let her go. “I’m grateful you dealt with the worst of me. I don’t think anyone else would’ve had the patience for it.”

An outsider listening in to their conversation would've brushed off Niles’ last bit as him referencing the normal ups and downs of any relationship, like petty arguments and squabbles that were solved in a span of a few minutes, hours or days. Unless you were someone the young couple grew up with, you would never know that, at the age of twelve, the devoted, loving man with Natalia in his arms had lost his mother-- and with her, his sense of purpose and direction in life. The goofy, cheerful boy the Italian girl had spent her formative years getting into mischief with had turned into a moody, rebellious shadow of himself, who spent his adolescence pushing everyone who loved him away while consumed by his grief and heartbreak.

The sudden shift in Niles’ personality was certainly tough for Natalia at first. She couldn't relate to his immense suffering, and struggled to understand why he seemed to reject and rebuff every single attempt she made at easing his pain and improving his state of mind-- a heavy burden on her own twelve year-old shoulders. Nevertheless, she persisted. She was a Belmonte, after all: stubbornness and determination was in their blood. The harder Niles pushed her away, the more Tal dug her heels on the ground. She stayed with him through highs and lows, proving her unwavering commitment to him time and time again. With time and therapy, the Sinclair son was able to face his demons, find ways to cope with the inner battles he faced, and build a life he was content with… A life alongside Natalia: something she was immensely grateful for. Things hadn't been easy, but nothing truly worth it ever was.

The brunette turned her face away from the stunning view in front of them to plant a kiss on her husband's cheek, placing her arms on top of his. “The world was dealing you with a shitty card, love. I wasn't going to leave you to deal with that by yourself. When I said I would always be there for you, I meant it,” she reassured him, resting the side of her head next to his. “And it's not like I've been perfect either. You've had your hands full with me too.”

“Oh you’re a fucking brat,” Niles airily growled, his smug smile, sly and mischievous, growing wider as he eased his large hands down to her ass, earning himself a curious glance from his wife. Gripping firmly, he lifted her up, allowing her to wrap her arms and legs around him. “I certainly do have my hands full…” he teased, squeezing her cheeks.

Although Natalia rolled her eyes, the laugh that followed her action made it clear that she was anything but annoyed. “Only because you spoil me and let me get away with as much as you do,” she told her husband, letting her lips melt into his with a passionate kiss. While humor was her way of coping with potentially deep conversations, the flame of desire inside Niles seemed to spark up into a wildfire whenever the couple shared emotionally-charged discussions. Sometimes the transition was more subtle, other times it was more abrupt. But there was almost always a guarantee that a chat about feelings would end up with Niles and Natalia wrapped around each other as one.

Carrying her in tandem with him, he leisurely stepped toward the glass door that she left open. His destination was clear and his motive could be felt down below. “Mrs. Sinclair,” he cooed, brushing his lips on her neck as he did so. He continued, “As your gynecologist I believe you’re long overdue for an appointment. With such a busy day ahead of us, it’s my duty to provide you with the best service. As you already know, I give… detailed examinations… so I can’t promise you this will be quick.”

Hanging on the toilet, resting her head on her arm that laid out on the seat, and absolutely exhausted, Penelope Decker’s surroundings spun. She didn’t know what she ate to make her stomach this uneasy. The Reservation’s food never made her churn like this. She didn’t even eat that much today! All she did was walk into her best friend’s home and smelt onions. Before she knew it, she was rushing to the bathroom. Jade, Mordechai and Roddy had their theories but Poppy was being stubborn, refusing to believe them. Right now all she could do was focus on not moving or else she’d find herself puking her guts out.

She wanted to die.

The bathroom had makeup scattered all over the room, mostly the sink but in a weirdly neat way. There was no surprise there though. That was Jade after all. Her soul sister. She was a chaotic being but she never failed to have a sense of order in her chaos. Her mess made sense, even to Poppy who knew her for years. To contrast, while Jade was all over the room, there were small glimpses of Roddy that Poppy found cute. He was a minimalistic man. He didn’t need much.

On the sink, surrounded by Jade’s makeup, there was one deodorant that was clearly meant for a male, leaned up against the wall and his blue toothbrush in a ceramic cup next to Jade’s red. In the bathtub, he had his shampoo and body wash in the corner of the tub’s rim, and all the other shower shelves had Jade’s self care products. It was sweet how organized and simple Roddy was. All he needed was her and he loved that for them.

Closing her eyes, Poppy steadied her breathing and her heartbeat, which was racing from the sudden displeasure of such a poignant scent. She couldn’t be sick. Beau’s party was today and there was no way she was going to miss it. Speaking of the party, she needed to text Charlie to make sure he didn’t forget his second book, the first copy of it, to give to Beau as a gift. To make sure he wrote something sentimental in it. Maybe she should text him to bring some meds to the party too.

Grumbling, absolutely hating her life right now, Poppy opened her eyes and tried to reach for her phone which was on the sink counter. Sadly her body was against this decision. It only made things worse. Finding herself back over the toilet, she heaved the rest of what she ate today out of her body. Her eyes watered from the discomfort.

Was this how it felt to die because she certainly wanted to die…

Physically, she was barely able to stand and her body was shaking over this sensation. There was more to it though. This wasn’t just because she was puking. Puking was one thing. Everyone got sick but this was something more. She was scared and internally, emotionally, panicking. There was no way this could be that. She and Charlie had talked about the possibility, what if, and when, but the plan was to start when they were in their thirties. Poppy wasn’t dumb though. One night not too long ago she surprised Charlie with a red dress that Maxine gifted her, wearing matching lipstick. She waited for him at Aponi’s Heart. It was the twins’ birthday.

Winnie couldn’t drink because she was, or well is, very pregnant with Kerry's second child and Ten kept sober out of paranoia that some ragtag gang would come and ruin the celebration. He was a lighthorsemen after all. When Charlie finally arrived, he couldn’t take his hands off her and it didn’t help they both got crazy drunk and partied with the Rez all night long. She would say until dawn but that wasn’t true at all. She remembered leaving the party when it was still dark out because Charlie wanted her all to himself. And he did have her all to himself, for what felt like hours.

Her face beamed red as she reached for some toilet paper to wipe her lips. No matter how many years passed, Charlie Decker gave her butterflies. He was hers and she was his and when they were together? Everything felt right in the world. She wasn’t going to think about that night though! There was always a chance that this was just the usual stomach bug. She would keep thinking that until proven otherwise. There was no way she and Charlie were about to be… once Decky comes back from the convenient store, they all would be relieved that this was just a silly thought of theirs. Her denial shifted when she imagined getting a negative test and she found herself suddenly sad. Why was she sad? What the fuck did she want?

“So Mitch was grabbin’ some nosh before goin’ on duty,” Decky grumbled as he blew through the doorway and crouched down in front of his smallest best friend, dangling the box with the test in it in front of her pale and sweaty face. His own face was a disgruntled and resigned in equal measure. “Ya wouldn’t believe the fuckin’ lecture I got about knockin’ Maya up straight outta college before I could even say it wasn’t for us. I swear he was about to make Maya and Sonny a monogamous couple until I had a chance to tell him it wasn’t for her. Jesus ya look like shit, have ya stopped pukin’ at all since I left?” He pushed some sweaty strands of hair away from where they had gotten stuck to Poppy’s forehead, tucking them behind her ear as she finally took the box from him before he stood back up and went over to the sink to rummage through Jade’s top drawer. “We should’a put your hair up before we left ya alone up here. Sorry ‘ bout that, Angel,” His hand emerged from the drawer victorious, a thin black hair tie in his grip. “Want me ta put it up now?”

“That’s fine,” Penelope quietly responded, exhaustion washing over her. She didn’t move much, letting her body hang over the toilet. Her stomach was settling down, or at least she hoped it was. As Mordechai gently ran his fingers through her sweaty hair, Poppy stared at the wall, contemplative and deep in thought. She didn’t want to believe she was pregnant. A baby would change the dynamic that Charlie and she had. A dynamic she worked extremely hard to keep, making sure he was happy. She worried a child would ruin her happily ever after. Her perfect dream where her world was Charlie and the world was everything to her. While Charlie wasn’t as bad as he used to be, when they were younger, he still fought the chaos in his mind daily. With how his father went out, she had no doubt that fatherhood was the last thing on his mind. As Decky played with her hair, which she found oddly soothing, Poppy whispered, “What if he leaves me…?” Always concerned about him even if right now she could barely stand up without releasing what was left of her lunch.

“Then I’d have him tracked down and I’d kill him, Jade would too, and Max. Hell that may make Danny go in for a few licks, ya know you’re his favorite,” Decky answered in a serious tone as he took his time to gently soothe Poppy’s head before he had to pull all her hair back. “I don’t care what dumbass freakout Charlie’s gonna have over this, he can damn well do it here with the people that love him. Of course he’s gonna be scared, this is a scary thing,” He reasoned, finally pulling all her hair together until it was in a neat but loose bun. “But you’ll figure it out together, and your friends will be here for ya when ya need us.”

Jade had remained quiet but observed. She took in Decky’s rambles. They were chaotic but with a purpose, of course. As they’ve always been. She took in Poppy’s worry and fears about how Charlie might react to these new developments. She could understand that. She knew change was scary. Changes in the life you were used to were bound to shake you to your core. Jade understood that more than anyone. She felt similar feelings about Jane at one point, but there came a point where she accepted the changes and not only made peace with it, but Jane was her sister. Just as Poppy was. Nothing about that would change nor will there ever be a possibility of changing.

Jade was wearing a simple outfit that consisted of a pair of deep red booty shorts that showed off her pale, slightly toned legs and a Gallows shirt that nearly covered the shorts in their entirety, pieced together after she got home from her day at work and pulling together what she felt was a solid playlist for the party tonight. “For once, Decky’s right,” the angel princess teased. She caught his glare and she stuck her tongue out in response. “Change is a hell of a thing, Pops. But he’s a pussy if this is the thing that makes him leave. Charlie is a lot of things. Sensitive. Better with words than any of us will ever be, but a pussy?” Jade shook her head, disagreeing with the notion she spoke into existence. “He’s not gonna leave. And if he thinks about it, I’ll have the Chains and his whole gang tie Charlie up until he sees to reason.” In that, Jade was only half-joking. Half joking to tying him up, but not necessarily joking about calling the boys to invoke some real fear into that writer best friend of her’s.

“You guys really are quite dramatic.” Roddy was on the other side of the door, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets. Thanks to his now long term relationship with Jade, he had become somewhat of an unofficial member of their quartet. Yet he also knew his place and was very conscious of the divide between him and the others. They had grown up together hard, they were bonded by blood and broken bones and held together with spit and the dirt from the train tracks. He was a Foundling, sure he wasn’t a Scott Street baby but there were streets and buildings in town named after his ancestors. He had always been very clued into that and hated it.

“Charlie’s a good guy. Sure he had his demons, I mean don’t we all but the guy I know wouldn’t run away if this is what we think it is. If anything, not having a dad would make him want to be a better one. I can already hear the killer bed time stories he’d write for the kid.” As Roddy prepared to open his mouth again, he paused when the smell of burning pierced his nostrils. “Oh shitsticks! the sausages are burning. Fuck.” He tore off down the corridor towards the kitchen.

It was moments like these when Jade was reminded so painfully clear, like a street in darkness illuminated by an endless amount of neon light sounds straight from the 80s. His ability to emote genuine emotion and support always made her smile and then immediately scowl when people suggested he was a robot. She knew personally that he wasn’t. Not in just the way he touched her when they were alone, but by his actions. His words came from a genuine place and she loved him for that. She loved him for every flaw he had in his soul.

And even more than ever, she was reminded of another reason why she loved him. When he got into a groove, he phased out of whatever he was doing beforehand. Such as forgetting about the sausage he was cooking.

“That boyfriend of mine. It’s a wonder he hasn’t put a bun in my oven too,” Jade mused as an afterthought, watching Roddy prance away to the kitchen.

She refocused on Pops and Decky, realizing that maybe she suffered from the same shortsightedness that her love did. She chuckled internally at the thought. “So you see, I don’t think you need to worry about Charlie skipping out on you and little mister or misses Charlie Jr. And if he does--” Jade grinned a mischievous grin at Decky, placing her hand on his shoulder. “Our previous promises remain.” It was a joke…partially a joke, anyway.

Heh. Poppy bit her cheek, glancing at all those that were supporting her. She had wonderful friends. That is one thing that would always stay true.

Maybe she was worrying too much.

Maybe Charlie would be okay with all this.

Maybe they’d be wonderful parents.

Maybe this would make Charlie feel complete and utter happiness. The kind Poppy believed he deserved. The kind where there was no doubt in her mind he was at peace.

Maybe…

Sitting up a little, but not moving too much, with Decky still holding onto her hair, Poppy reached out to the air, “Give me the fucking stick.” She grumbled in uncomfortable pain before softly commanding, “Decks, unless you want to watch me pee, you probably should go.” Looking up at her soul sister, with her big, brown eyes, Pops pleadingly pouted, “Jade, can you stay with me? Please?”

“You know I could never say no when you look at me like that.” Jade clapped her hands together, motioning for Decky and the door. “You heard our Pops! No boys allowed!” She commanded in a very Jade Taylor way. She stared at Decky, knowing he was likely worried. “Don’t worry. I got this, Decks,” she assured him with a confident smile.

Knowing she’d clocked his hesitance and appreciating the assurance, Decky finally finished wrapping the elastic around Poppy’s bun from where he’d paused at Jade and Roddy’s arrival. He looked between his Angels and let them see his own nervous smile for a moment before he changed it into a smirk and rolled his eyes. He raised his hands and moved towards the door, giving Poppy the space she needed while also pulling his phone out and hitting the speed dial for the fourth in their quartet. Poppy may be in denial about what this was, but Decky knew, and so did Jade, and their smallest friend would want her husband here as soon as possible when the double lines appeared on that stick.

“Fine, I’ll go join the sausage fest in the kitchen then, see if we can salvage anythin’.” He closed the door behind him, taking a deep breath as the line rang and making his way down the corridor to the kitchen where Roddy was doing his best. He’d just grabbed the tray of burnt meat and moved it out of the way of Roddy’s rapid movements when Charlie finally picked up on the other side.

“Hey, everyone’s okay and safe, but Poppy’s gonna need ya as soon as possible, brother,” He spoke into the phone, grabbing a mit with his other hand and moving the hot pan out of Roddy’s way as well when he noticed the man almost burn himself on it. “Maybe pick up somethin' nice for her on the way.”

A young woman with long acrylic nails, casual designer wear and Prada sunglasses sat behind the wheel of a bright red convertible Porsche, much like the one sitting in the garage of her multi-million dollar Bel-Air home. Her luscious locks of black hair flowed freely in the morning breeze as she sped down the streets of her hometown, singing along to one of the songs of her close friend Karli-- or, as the world knew her by, Kali Uchis. A behemoth of a man with buzzed hair, a neat beard and equally fashionable designer clothing occupied the passenger seat next to her, his own hazel eyes hidden behind aviator sunglasses. His large hand rested on the driver’s thigh affectionately as he watched contentedly how the scenery around them changed while the woman drove on. All roads lead to their final destination: the home of Reynaldo and Guadalupe Gonzalez in Edenridge’s Southside.

When Aleyda Gonzalez, Zara Beauregard and Deanna Salvador had received the news that the town of Edenridge was coming together to throw a retirement party for Zara’s father, there was no question of whether they'd be attending the festivities or not. Mr. Beau was not just a teacher, but a mentor, a father figure, a conscience and a voice of reason for students and community members alike. It made the girls happy to know that his positive contributions and impacts to the lives of so many people were being acknowledged and celebrated, and they would not miss being there for the world.

Once they were informed of when the party would be happening, the LA-based Edenites formed a plan to return home and surprise their families with their unexpected arrivals. They had each told their loved ones little white lies about how prior, unavoidable work commitments wouldn’t allow them to make it to the party, all the while making the necessary preparations to attend. Transportation arrangements were easy when you had friends (or significant others) in high places. Aleyda's boyfriend, the one and only undisputed heavyweight boxing champion Derex ‘The Bull’ Steiner, had graciously donated his private jet for the occasion. At any other time, first class would’ve been sufficient, but the Eden girls didn’t want to risk their surprise getting ruined. Once in Boston, vehicular transportation was covered by another member of their fierce fivesome/Zara’s girlfriend: A-list Hollywood actress Lior Ray (who was, to the girls and Rex, Sadé Nguyen). After five and a half hours of flying, the group had collected their respective vehicles and split up, each heading out to fulfill the last par before eventually reuniting at Mr. Beau’s party the next day.

“You hanging in there, Bull?” Aleyda teased her boyfriend with a smug smirk, glancing at the man over her sunglasses. Back in Los Angeles, it was always Derex the one who drove them around in his GMC Hum-V. But whenever they were in the streets of South Boston, in Ley’s turf, she was always the one dangerously tearing down the familiar roads. “You haven’t asked me to switch seats once since I started driving, so I guess I’m not doing too bad.”

Rex let out a low rumble of a chuckle, curving his lips into a small grin. “I’m hangin’ like Spike did in my last bout with him. Just enjoying the ride, mein Viper.”

Rex had come to Edenridge a few times in their two years of dating to meet her parents and see where the second most important woman in his life found her beginnings. A quaint small town not too dissimilar to the one he came up in back in his home country of Germany. He came up in Fussen, which sat just north of the Austrian border. In its own way, his Viper’s home of Edenridge had a similar vibe from how he saw it. The church and the Gothic Castle in Fussen that he used to explore when he was a little boy were too similar for his unique eyes and experience to not connect those dots. He doubted anyone else would.

The last time they were here, it was to meet her family. The first time he would meet her father and his sons. Meet her mother, Guadalupe. When he would meet Rey Rey’s wife, Maxine. It was a rather intimidating experience to say the least, but his ability to thrive under pressure was always an asset to him. Being able to take on these dangerous tasks was probably one of the many reasons Aleyda fell for him. She was small compared to him, but boy did she have a bite that just drew him in from day one. So meeting her family was nothing compared to the buildings he destroyed to get that first date with her.

“How’s are you doing? That Mr. Beauregard guy is pretty important to your hometown, isn’t he?”

Aleyda nodded vehemently, confirming her boyfriend’s statement. “He really is. I know I’ve already told you about how he was like another dad to Dena and I because of Zee, and how he’s always been close to my dad. But Beau’s basically everyone’s dad in some way. He has this uncanny ability to sense whenever something is up with you, and always seems to find a way to either convince you that everything will be alright or even make everything all better. He could be a bit of a hardass as a teacher, but nobody can say he didn’t try his damned hardest to make sure every one of his students learned at least one lesson. I wouldn’t be surprised if they made a statue of him or named a building after him or something.”

Rex knew the type. He knew the kind of man that this Antoine Beauregard was. He knew he didn’t have to meet the man to know it first hand because he had someone like that in his life too. His father. The man who raised him right. Instilled the values he still holds close to his heart. Rex valued the honesty in his life. The kind of honesty that he knew those he chose to surround himself with would give to him. He never wanted to be lied to in order to spare his feelings. But at the same time, Wolfgang helped him become the man he was today through his own form of wisdom and intensity. “Sounds like he and Pops would get along. They’re cut from that same cloth. But I can’t lie to you.” Rex found himself laughing even before he admitted it, “that isn’t the kind of man I ever expected to have a daughter like Zara.” He said with as much respect as he could. Zara was unique and fierce in her own way, yet at the same time, tested the wide limits of his patience.

Aleyda's laughter was quick to fill the air as she thought of her sister by association. While the Beauregards were exemplary individuals and pillars of their communities, Zara had always stood out as the rebellious force of nature who would live life her way, on her own terms. There were many times where people judged the youngest daughter's actions and shook their heads in disappointment, thinking about how ashamed of her the Beauregards would be. But other people's opinions about Zee had never mattered to Beau. He knew his daughter and what was in her heart-- that was all that mattered.

"I know Zara can be a handful, but I’d do anything for that girl. And once you meet Beau, you'll definitely be able to see where she gets her best qualities from," Aleyda mused out loud, snickering as she added, "And just wait until you meet her mom and her siblings-- you'd never imagine that they're related. She'll be acting like she's at Sunday church service, too. Sadé won't even recognize her. It'll be hilarious to watch for sure."

Rex let out a hearty laugh, almost choking on his own breath. Zara like a nun? Was she talking about the same Zara who was like one but from one of those X-rated adult film parodies? “This I might have to see. She’s made me go red one too-many times for her own viewing pleasure.” It was all in good fun and Rex had a thick coat, so he could take the jokes and uncomfortable situations she loved to put him in. Karma was about to hit her in full.

“Now it’ll be your chance to get your long-awaited revenge.” Ley joked with the man. The relationship between Derex, Dena, Zara and Sadé had always been one of mutual banter in which they all continuously poked fun at each other. When the girls had found out that their favorite Latina had captured the heart of The Bull, they had warned her about his reputation as a ladies man, a hardhead who pushed people away with his ‘toxic obsession for the game’, and who had allegations of mistreatment coming from a few exes. During their initial meeting, they had hounded Derex with questions, trying to decipher who he truly was as a person and what intentions he had with Ley. Rather than be offended, the German man had taken everything in stride; validating the girls’ concerns, reassuring them that he was a good guy, that what he felt for their friend was true, and that his only intentions were to make Aleyda the happiest woman in the Universe. With time and effort, Rex’s actions had earned him the trust and affection of Ley’s chosen family. They now considered him a part of their inner circle, and that meant putting up with each other’s jokes and roasting sessions. Zara and Sadé happened to be the two that picked on Derex the most, so for him to see the tables turning would be amusing to say the least.

Just as Ley finished speaking, she drove up to a stoplight that, as she approached it, changed from yellow to red. A mischievous smirk lit up her features, and she immediately turned to her boyfriend. “Uh oh. Looks like we’ve found ourselves at a red light…” she announced, placing a hand on his thick thigh and squeezing it teasingly a few times.

“Amazing we haven’t ran into one since we got to your little slice of the commonwealth,” Rex remarked with a grin, squeezing his grip on Ley’s thigh with less force applied than she had on his. He was much stronger than she was and she wasn’t nearly as toned as he was, either. The long-standing tradition between them was PDA at red lights, a thing that happened randomly in the first few months of their now-two-year relationship. It was something they got off on, but while he loved kissing her lips, that familiar taste of the poison he picked to take into his system, there was another thing that he liked more.

“How obnoxious you wanna get this time? We’re in your turf, Viper. You lead and this boxer will follow in your shadow.” He massaged her thigh, licking his lips somewhat, moistening them up, taking note of a car.

Aleyda's smirk widened into a grin. "I say we go all in," she replied, leaning over the middle console and inching close enough to Rex's face that he could smell the peppermint from the pieces of gum she'd just been chewing on. "What do you say?"

With a smirk, his hand went confidently further past her thigh, gripping her waist and slid it slowly up her back and around her neck. He shot the car next to them, a woman was driving and another woman, likely her mother or someone older, was looking at them. They both smiled and so did Rex. “Showtime at the Red Light!” When Ley had his attention, The Bull charged horns first into his Viper’s lips, aggressively and tame at the same time. All the while, he could feel his Viper getting into it, and when he looked back at the women in the car next to them, he saw their disgusted expressions. And yet, they couldn’t take their eyes off…or at least they tried not to be obvious about it.

Even as Aleyda kissed her boyfriend back with the same amount of sloppy and raunchy enthusiasm without a single care in the world, she knew that she was playing with fire by playing little games. Stunts like these could bring attention to hers and Derex’s presence in town, and that could risk ruining the surprise she'd been looking forward to for weeks. But how could she resist herself? Red light makeout sessions had been their thing for nearly as long as she and Rex had been dating, and she couldn't imagine the day in which she'd ever get enough of her lover.

The honk of the vehicle behind them yanked Aleyda away from Rex's lips and back to reality. She pulled away from Rex just in time to see the SUV that had been waiting behind them at the traffic light go around them and speed off, its driver making annoyed faces and gestures at her as he drove away.

"Suck my dick if it bothers you!" she yelled out after him, flipping the vehicle's occupant off for good measure as she began to drive again. Outburst now completed after this live display of her extremely short fuse, Ley before turning back to her passenger. "Fuck him!" she told Rex as she rolled her eyes behind her sunglasses and shook her head. Her annoyance, however, was cut short when she saw the wide grin on her boyfriend's face. "You live to see me bitch people out, don't you?" she asked him with a playful scoff, followed by a round of laughter and a light smack to his arm. "You're so bad."

Rex merely shrugged. He knew what he liked and what he liked was seeing that temper flare in a way that reminded him every day why he loved her. Some would call it toxic.

Why would he want to encourage that kind of behavior? It’s gotta be toxic!

Yeah, no shit. She wasn’t called Viper for no reason. Toxicity is in her blood and like the animal he’s named after, Rex runs after it like it’s a red cape because in truth, he’s not the best person if people want to bring up toxic masculinity or whatever kind of term they want to put on it. But he doesn’t disrespect her. He doesn’t disrespect himself. Her family, her friends, and his own know him. Who fucking cares what a couple of random drivers on the road think? If they didn’t like it, they heard Ley.

“The Bull wanted to frolic around for a bit. Can you blame him?” Rex laughed, curling his amused smirk into an even more obvious grin. He had the obnoxious habit of sometimes referring to himself by his boxer nickname.

“Oh, he does, doesn’t he?” Aleyda drawled, risking another suggestive glance at her boyfriend before turning back to the road. An impulsive idea sprung to the forefront of the Gonzalez woman’s mind-- one that would delay their arrival, but the beauty of a surprise visit was that you would never be late since nobody was expecting you in the first place. Before she could talk herself out of it, she was changing course away from the center of town and towards the outskirts instead, brushing off Rex’s questions about what she was doing or where she was going. Whether the Porsche would be able to withstand the change from paved streets to dirt roads was put to the test, but luckily the couple inside the vehicle had the means to afford any damages that could stem from this little road trip to the one and only O’Halloran’s Creek.

“How’s this for a place to let The Bull frolic around?” Ley called out to Derex as she exited the car and walked to stand in the shade of a large cherry tree, stretching out her hands and spinning in place a few times. “Is it as good as Santorini, Fiji or the million vacations we’ve taken? No. But is it the best place around town to spend some time alone together and completely away from civilization? Absolutely. We can even skinny dip here like we did in Bali that one time…” she suggested, pointing towards the beautiful creek beside them with its sparkling, crystal clear waters.

Rex took in the scenery, the environment. The rock formations and the water so clear you could probably see your own reflection in it. The kind of crystal waters that, if this was a boy band video, some model-turned singer would splash his reflection away to seem cool.“You kidding? I knew a spot back in the old country that was just like this. Has my usual go-to relaxing spot upgraded ever since my bank account has gotten bigger than my undefeated streak? Yeah, maybe. Could be a possibility. But you know what isn’t?” Rex intentionally made a loud noise. Nothing specific, just a typical hype-inspiring yell. One that would scare all the birds away, which he took notice of as they all flew from the tops of the rocks, trees around them.

The sometimes crazy Bull waited and let the silence of nature save for the sounds of the creek in the faint distance fill the air. He waited for a few more moments and grinned at his super hot girlfriend. “Nobody in sight. Nobody came to the poor damsel in distress’ aid, thinking there was one to begin with. Just, you, a Bull, and…” Rex came face to face with a creature who didn’t run away when he screamed. Stocky and mostly tan with a black and white pattern on its face. It had a long head with glaring eyes that were staring into Rex’s souls. “The fucking fuck? Is that a fucking badger?”

Aleyda, who’d been watching the enthusiastic Rex take in his surroundings with the biggest grin across her face, found herself frowning in confusion at his last comment. “What?” she barked, whipping her head in the direction he was staring at and finding herself locking eyes with nothing other than a fucking honey badger.

Before Derex could comprehend what was happening, Ley began to howl with laughter so hard it made her tears run down her cheeks. It wasn’t a coincidence that they’d stumble on the animal that became her little brother’s Serpent namesake so shortly after she’d stepped foot on their old stomping grounds. During their teenage days, Mika had embraced his new ‘youngest brother’ status by consistently testing Aleyda’s short temper, hoping to get a rise out of her. One of his favorite, foolproof ways to annoy his sister was interfering with her dates. Whenever Ley thought she had scored some time alone with someone and things were heading in a saucy direction, Mika would pull some disruptive, attention-grabbing stunt that would bring the moment to a screeching halt. These incidents often ended with Ley screeching at Mika like a banshee, chasing her snickering brother around until she ultimately caught up and wrestled with him until his taunts turned into upset pleas for her to stop. They had both grown out of it eventually… Or so she thought.

“I know you’re fucking lying…” she cackled, doubling over as she tried and struggled to catch her breath. “I haven’t even been here five minutes, and the little shit’s already cockblocking me.”

Rex couldn’t break his stern and grounded gaze away from the badger that was doing the same. This would be his first, real life encounter with the creature. He’d seen the memes. He’d watch the video. The Badger, but specifically the Honey Badger, was a tenacious and stubborn creature. Someone who didn’t give any shits about what the odds were against him. Also a bit of a menace in the wild. Rex could respect that. He did respect that. He respected it so much that looking away would mean he admitted defeat to the animal that was mad-dogging him. Be it pride or an equal stubbornness, Rex refused to, yet he could multitask. “What was it that they say about it? It doesn’t give any fucks? Nasty little shits.” As if offended, he heard the badger make a noise of disapproval and it huffed proudly, as if also gloating in what Rex just stated.

Rex had heard plenty of tales about Ley’s family. How they were in the life. The Southside Serpents - gang warfare, crime, and basically any kind of scenario seen on the 10 O’Clock news was likely just the tip of the iceberg of her family’s doings. Rex was seldom phased by it, mostly because he never had it easy when he was growing up. His family wasn’t poor but they struggled. He and Frankie were, as some might infer, just a bunch of stupid boys doing stupid boy things. It’s why his family had moved away from Germany and to Los Angeles. It helped that his father got a sweet contract with all these sponsorships due to his own tenure as a boxer, but it was, as Derex came to understand years later, a way to remove Rex and Lena away from that life.

“You know, there was a time where I was really pissed off at my family for not letting me in the business,” Aleyda admitted with visible regret, reminiscing about the many arguments she’d had with her father and older brother for allowing someone outside the family to be a part of the Serpents’ leadership: a position she’d been all but forbidden from ever occupying. “I felt like they didn’t trust me, or that maybe they thought I wouldn’t be able to handle it or something. God, I didn’t speak to them for months-- I was so fucking upset about it… But after I moved to Los Angeles and started seeing what my life was looking like, I realized that keeping me out of the life was the best gift Dad and ReyRey could’ve ever given me. I fucking made it. I have everything I ever dreamed of and more. That never would’ve happened if I had stayed here. The thing that used to bother me the most turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Rex understood her anger at her family more than anyone. After a moment, he willingly submitted to the Badger’s assertion for dominance and looked away. As he did, he heard the sound of a happy and proud badger that was trying to rub it in Rex’s face. He ignored that and gazed at the second strongest woman he knew, only being second to his mama. “Family’s complicated like that. Decisions you didn’t understand before you would achieve everything they hoped you would only make sense when you put yourself in their shoes,” he said, bringing his left hand to stroke Ley’s cheek. The fire in her eyes was clear, shining specs of red in the brown eyes he fell so hopelessly in love with. The same fire he saw on his own whenever they looked in their mirrors. “And if I’m going to toot my own horn, if you never left this place, I would’ve never landed the hottest makeup artist in the SoCal area.”

Aleyda's laughter quickly filled the air. “That's celebrity makeup artist to you,” she joked, playfully tapping the man's nose before wrapping her arms around him for a tight hug. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw the badger still staring at the two of them with what Ley could've sworn was a judgmental, disgusted look on its face. Before she could stop herself, the Gonzalez girl flipped the badger off, and watched as it let out what sounded like an offended scoff before hurrying away in the direction that it came from.

Smirking to herself, the woman pulled away from the embrace to stare at the handsome face of her life partner once again. “I'm happy I found you, Derex. Thank you for being here with me,” the brunette told the man, reaching up on the tips of her toes to show her gratitude with a kiss.

In what was only a jest on his part, but so in line with how they teased each other, Rex said, “What else is a bull to do when he sees a red flag?” He laughed, his hands sliding down to hold his celebrity makeup artist of a girlfriend by her slimthick waist and bringing her so close to him that he could feel her pressing against his chest. He had towered over her by nearly a foot, but height wasn’t a matter. He loved her anyway. He deepened the kiss between them, feeling the hunger inside of him grow the more he tasted her. The more he took in her scent. Greed and gluttony always went hand in hand with Lust smashed between them. The perfect trio of the vices that Rex submitted to every time. He loved Aleyda Gonzalez with all his heart. He loved her fire. He loved her ambition, but maybe in the simplest and purest way, he loved her body.

And it was evident when he raised her up, holding her secure only to guide her down onto the cold stone. He heard the ambience of the creek, the serene gusts of wind tickling his skin. “You know…we don’t have to be anywhere for a while, right?” He hovered over her, feeling the hunger rising like a tide. Nibbling on her neck, he met her fiery gaze like he was waiting for the green light from his red flag so they could become a beige center in nature.

Aleyda giggled and rolled her eyes. Leave it to Derex to shift things back to the direction they were previously heading to. No bullshit and straight to the point: qualities the young woman loved so much about him. “Then I guess we better get busy before that badger comes back and takes a bite out of us…” she whispered in his ear, their laughter filling the air before Ley took her boyfriend up on his suggestive, thinly-veiled offer.

“And that was my hot all hell cousin Calliope along with ya girl K-Pop sexpot HAZEL with their latest collab, Break My Back. Absolute banger. We’re gonna take a short break whilst you listen to some ads about car insurance and erectile dysfunction. When we come back we’ll have the newest bop from the Latin Lothario Rico Nunez as well something special, for someone special. I’m Mei Midnight, she’s Harley Head, this is the Midnight Frequency and we’re about to ride the Dawn Patrol.”

Flipping the switch to play the preloaded adverts, Mei Ramsey leaned back in her chair with an exasperated and long groan. “Fuuuuuuuuuck my firm ass with whiskey stained broken glass.” She yawned. The youngest daughter of Will and Shannon was known for burning the candle at both ends, for being unstoppable and undeniable, for partying all day, working all night and somehow in between all that putting in hours at the gym and dojo that would make an Olympian weep. She had done this her entire life, she wondered now if that particular way of life was finally catching up to her. “I’m getting too old for this shit.”

Turning to face her platinum blonde co-host, who was flicking through the impressive collection of classic vinyls that the girls had stocked over their years of working together, Mei cracked her neck fairly loudly. “How goes the playlist? You’ve been at it for a while.” A small smirk began to cross her black painted lips. “Maybe we should’ve got your android boyfriend involved, his computer brain could’ve gotten that thing done in seconds. Skynet all day baby.” The dark priestess teased her friend as she often did. Mei had no issues with Jade’s choice of boyfriend, Roddy was a nice guy and the two of them had been together since high school but she couldn’t help but make light of his lack of outward emotion. The only time Meiday ever saw the heart of the foundling was when he was with Jade, that boy loved her unconditionally.

Thinking of Roddy made Mei think of her own love life and her beautiful partner Devika. It made her think of her soft, caramel skin, her absolutely insane body, those Damn eyes. Maybe if she played her cards right, Miss Midnight could score herself a massage before she carried on the rest of her busy day.

This particular day and weekend was all about one Antoine Beauregard; teacher, confidant, jolly fat man who lived down the street. Everyone in town and many outside were working tirelessly to create the same atmosphere of love and respect that Beau had created for all of them as he finally chose to hang up his pinstripe suits and retire. Well deserved if you asked Mei. “I hope you’ve got plenty of classic r&b and soul. The big man loves that stuff.”

“Yeah tell me about it,” Jade commented absentmindedly, going through the massive catalog. The time Jade spent in his classroom and the many times she’d go to Rochambeau for coffee and those state-famous beignets that were always the right balance of crunch, fluff, and with the right amount of powdered sugar on top, she’d always hear the greats of Motown playing. He always had that jolly laugh that came deep from his gut, the kind that warmed the soul almost as much as his cooking did.

Beau was someone special. Someone who helped her in her own time of need. When Jade had found out about her cousin JJ, the resulting product of a relationship her uncle had long before she was even an afterthought, how she came to be in their lives. Beau heard her out and offered a perspective she didn’t think to consider. JJ didn’t know and Charlie didn’t know. It wasn’t like the woman Charlie was with some rival gang. She was a Milligan. And after meeting her, she was so nice. Almost too nice for Jade’s liking, but she wasn’t a bad person and neither was Jessie, for that matter.

Beau did that for her. It was a small thing that meant the world to her. And since then, she always went to him for any advice she was needing. Who needed therapy when you could get it just for the price of coffee and a baked good and about ten minutes of time? But he was more than that. He was like a third father in some cases. An uncle who could make it shine anywhere he went. So she needed to do right by this playlist.

“I’m trying not to go mostly Motown. I know you can’t go wrong and thanks to Mr. Beau, I have added the likes of Steve Wonder to my usual rotation, but I know he’s more than that. I think I might throw in some blues too. B.B. King and others like him.” Jade leaned back and stretched, groaning with all the stress she was putting on herself to get this right.

“You got this Blondie.” Mei placed a supportive hand on her friend's shoulder. It was easier for the goth princess to shake off the same look of stress and not so hidden frustration that adorned Jade’s porcelain features. The biker girl, for all her hazards and appearances, wore her heart on her sleeve. When she felt something, you knew she felt it. One only had to watch her when she was with her boyfriend to see the love in her eyes for him, the deep rooted want and desire to be wrapped up in his arms. The pressure she felt currently was the same, so visceral and raw. Mei, on the other hand, lived within the darkness, she kept her cards close to her chest and if anyone tried to take a peek she would choke or knock them out. The only person that got to see behind her black bride veil was Devika and even then, most of the time it was only ever behind closed doors.

Mei jumped up to her feet and raised both her arms into the air as she stretched her petite athletic frame backwards. “I have an idea, how about you send an SOS to your pet robot and tell him to bring us some coffee, vodka and some snacks and we’ll hit the mattresses and go hard on this thing.”

“You and so many call him that. It feels like a meme at this point.” Jade couldn’t help but let a small giggle escaped through her cherry lips, a smile of pearls gleaming in the artificial lights blessed upon them by the LED lights above. Having been with her Roddy since practically high school, who has been by her side through all the good, bad, and ugly things that’s happened in her life, including but not limited to: her uncle and Sam getting together, Jane and her boyfriend Spence getting together, finding out her uncle had a daughter and getting to know her distant Milligan family, and of course, how she came around to forgiving her parents and letting them come into her life more than she would have been open to.

The Biker Princess took it upon herself to stand up, feeling the freeing sensation of her limbs and ligaments creating a symphony of cracking bones. Head to toe, the released all the stress and pressure gathered in them for the past few hours, sending her boyfriend a text.

My Joker, we need some refreshments. Coffee for me, but you know Midnight, she needs the Russian Delight.

She sent it and peeped Mei for a brief moment. “Any requests on snacks? And no, my titties aren’t an option.”

“Booooo. You whore.” In some other life, Mei would’ve jumped at the chance to mount Jade like a dog in heat but they were both in beautiful, solid relationships and as wild as the granddaughter of the Dragonhead was, Mei respected the sanctity of love and one only had to look at Jade and Roddy to see that they were madly and deeply in love. She had never seen before, nor since, anyone give the look that the biker girl gave to her boyfriend. “I dunno, maybe like a waffle? Oooh or maybe some hot wings from the Hole? Need something bready to soak up all that vodka.”

Mei had learned long ago that she could never be anything but herself. It was probably why Devi loved her. She did not try to be anything other than what she was, she didn’t shy away from her feelings, her loves and her beliefs. Jade was the same; which was probably why they were kindred spirits screaming out across the airwaves to the unwashed masses. “OH!” Miss Midnight quickly hopped over the pile of records that her partner had amassed and began to flick through a stack of vinyls before suddenly raising her arm triumphantly, her slender fingers gripping a jet black record sleeve. “Found it! Hiding like a choir boy from a priest in the Catholic Church.” The goth priestess span on the heel of her Doc Martins and flashed Jade a yellow album cover. “Nina Simone. Sinnerman, we have to put this on there. The jolly fat man will fucking love it.”

Jade had texted Roddy the updated snack requirements. “Chicken wings and waffles from the Hole. ♥” The Biker Barbie sent to her boyfriend briefly. At the same time, she heard Mei make a sudden commotion that caused her to nearly drop her phone on the floor. It wouldn’t be as big of a deal since she had a case on it that would protect it from the hardwood floor.

“Lucifer fuck me in the ass, Mei! Gotta give a girl a warning when you’re about to--” The turquoise-eyed vixen saw heaven staring at her in the face and her jaw dropped by the sudden realization. “By Beau’s Beard!” Jade exclaimed almost at the same time Mei had announced what she found, almost grinning. She had scoured all places to get as much female representation into the playlist as she could. She tried not to overflood it, but Jade was a true feminist, so she added more than any regular person would. But even then, there was still something missing. Someone missing. “Now talk about a fucking perfect song!”

Jade didn’t hesitate to let the song play almost as soon as Mei handed her the album. She went over to the record player and let the soul of that all-time classic fill her soul. Music was part of her life and blood. Back in high school, she did her fair share runs with bands. Still to this day, Jade kept playing guitar but no longer did she seek the fame and glory of the life of a musician and simply played because it was one of three things in this world that made her feel completely at peace. “It just makes you feel.” Jade was snapping her fingers to it. God what a feeling this song evoked in one’s soul.

“I swear to Hecate herself, if Beau doesn’t love this shit I’ll spin kick his chubs straight to hell itself.” Mei would verbalise but she never could actually do it. She loved Beau just like everyone else. She didn’t have the relationship with him like some of her friends did, especially the Southies like Jade and those who grew up with a hole in their life that they just couldn’t fill. Mei was blessed with a functional family unit, even including her big sister Reagan amongst that number despite their somewhat tempestuous relationship.

She had figured out her authentic self early and didn’t need the guiding hand of their literature teacher to help her but that didn’t mean she didn’t love him. Beau helped to foster and nurture the dj’s love of the macabre, even recommending books that would show the young witch the other side of her beliefs that people just did not see. He even put her in contact with the Goode family, his wife’s kin who also held “distinct” beliefs.

“Shit! Fuck! Drag my dick through broken fucking glass!” Mei jumped over the stacks of records and back over to her sound station as quickly as she could, propping her headphones back clear her eyes she chimed back onto the airwaves with a millisecond to spare following the adverts. “Hey there ghastly ghouls, it’s your demon dream girl Mei Midnight back again with the morning tunes to start your day off right. Along for the ride of your life is the straddle queen herself, just ask her boyfriend, the one and only Harley Head. How about you tell them the traffic news for the day Jade and we can get back to the music?”

Jade loved watching how chaotic Mei could be and she nearly stumbled when she rushed to get back to her station. It brought her back to the first time she ever met the gothic mistress all those years ago. She was a fiery spitfire just like Jade was. Must’ve been why they clicked instantly. Though they were obviously not best friends (because that role was reserved for Decky and Poppy), they were on the same wavelength in so many other ways. Their similar personalities, for one, but also their love for music and all things controversial.

“Looks like all major highways are in the clear - unlike my back after a good night,” the blonde chuckled. Their morning show was always spicy. It’s why they were in the top three of most-listened and streamed shows in the Commonwealth of Boston. “Now back to you, Midnight. Seduce our listeners with the tunes they listen to us for.” Her gaze shifted to Mei and she shot the raven-haired woman a smirk.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Mei leaned over her soundboard and began to mix the next track. She was one of the few DJ’s that still actually mixed her records live on air. Most, if not all of her compatriots and competitors had everything preloaded onto a set playlist that literally was just the flick of a button. The Wiccan much preferred to create herself. To her, mixing and phasing music, increasing or decreasing the bass, dropping the beat down Lofi; crafting the perfect backdrop for her listeners to go about their day was Mei’s Everest and she wanted to hit the peak every day.

“Allow me to submit for your approval, a tune to take you back to bygone days drenched in pink neon, where the world was off its tits on cocaine, everyone was fucking everyone and yet somehow it was the more innocent of times…” Listening to the reverb of her own voice in her headphones, Miss Midnight began to fade out her vocals to line up with the growing synth her other hand was controlling. “This is CATBEAR with I Choose Love.”As the song came into its own, the youngest Ramsey moved one of her ear pieces to the side and turned off her microphone. “Jade, baby, where’s your fucking android I’m hungy?!” She growled. “If he’s not here before the end of this song I’ll rip out his synthetic heart and feed it to CeCe’s dog Mongo.”

As if on cue, there were three knocks at the door of the studio.

“You know, your gothic powers scare me sometimes.” Jade opened the door and her gut was just telling her who it was. Even before she could physically confirm who it was, when the door opened and she grabbed a hand and pulled him close to her, Jade gave a passionate but contained display of affection to her boyfriend. Had it been just the two of them, things would have gotten x-rated in a heartbeat, but because a, Mei was literally staring razor blades into her and b, she was doing so through the power of her hunger demons, she had to resist the animalistic urge to rip her boyfriend’s clothes off right now.

“And the day is saved, thanks to Mei’s magical hunger powers and the best boyfriend a blonde baddie could ask for!” Out of Mei’s view, she squeezed Roddy’s firm ass.

“Well hello to you too.” Before Roddy had a chance to say another word, the pint sized witch snatched the bags he held in his left hand and darted over to a nearby table like some sort of possessed gremlin. She tore into its contents like a starving animal, forcing the shaggy haired Irishman to cock an eyebrow. He had never really run in the same circles as one Miss Ramsey, though since she was close with Jade, the goth was always around. The two women had connected in a way that the usually straight laced Rod could never truly understand and never would try to. Whatever Jade’s thing was with Mei, it was her thing. He didn't have any part of it.

Despite the weight of temptation that came with dating the Angel Princess, Roddy had not succumbed to darker impulses. Yes, he did own a motorcycle and yes, the Angels considered him a brother but he was not a patched member. He just helped out from time to time when they needed building work for something or planning permission; The joys of architect life. His true goal was for one day to build himself and Jade a little house out somewhere with a big stretch of lonely road so she could rev her bike in peace and he could just enjoy the quiet. He loved Edenridge but it was never just quiet. “How’s it going, gorgeous?” He brushed a strand of Jade’s peroxide blonde locks behind her ear and brushed her soft cheek with his thumb. He truly loved the quiet but Roddy loved her even more.

The Angel Princess had noticed just how quickly Mei seized the bag in a very gremlin-like way. She knew Miss Midnight was starving by how urgent she wanted snacks, but the least she could have done was wait until Rod had time to take them out of the bag, but she was always so impetuous. So the Harlot blonde decided to focus on her not-robotic boyfriend (contrary to what many say).

“Well…” She could just say everything was fine. Let her boyfriend live in his worry free state, but Jade was never able to lie to his face. Only two men in her life had the ability to see through her incredible pokerface. One that raised her since she was like ten and the other that she fucked every night, that also happened to be standing in front of. “We’ve been put in charge of compiling the playlist for Beau’s retirement party. It’s not been as easy as I thought it would be.” Not that Jade was really complaining. She was more than thrilled to do it, but sifting through hundreds of songs, listening to them, and making sure they would not just fit the vibe of a party, but one in honor of the best teacher anyone ever had, it was harder than a silicone dick.

“I’m sorry, I can’t really help with that babe. I’m not exactly known for my taste in music like the two of you.” Roddy gestured towards his lover and her fishnet clad bestie who was stuffing her face in the corner. The butchers boy was always amazed by how much the pint sized Mei could pack away into her tiny body. Then again, the simple fact of the matter was that beneath the leather and lolita fashion, Miss Midnight was a cardiovascular beast with more abs than Roddy had hot dinners. He’d often heard that nobody could outwork Mei and based on what Jade had told him of their training sessions, he really was starting to believe that she was a witch. “Any suggestion I make would only cause trouble.”

Like she had just been punched in her rock hard gut, Mei dropped her snacks and her dark eyes widened. “trouble,trouble,trouble,TROUBLE!” Shooting across the room like lightning, Meiday stopped in front of the happy couple and slapped both their butts. “Trouble!” She repeated with glee, a smile crossing her usually morose face. “If I weren’t with Devi we’d about be having a three way right now. I don’t even give a fuck.” Mei had to laugh a little to herself. She’d definitely been spending too much time with Addie. Pushing past the two of them, she dove to another of the mountainous boxes that she and Jade had gathered filled with records and began to scour for something in particular before finally pulling free a classic. “Trouble Man! Marvin’s Gaye! Add that shit!” She smiled before reaching up and gently scratching her throat. She always had an itch there for some reason. “Robot, you're a genius.”

Jade had found it nearly impossible to contain the amused expression that burst into laughter. She saw Roddy’s somewhat confused face, clearly not sure what happened. The Angel Princess herself was still putting together the pieces, but working with Mei as closely as she did, Jade had learned to understand and interpret the unique brand of chaos Miss Midnight operated in. “Whaddaya know, babe? You were a big help after all.” Jade embraced her boyfriend and kissed him on the lips. “Thank you for this, babe. Really, you may have saved our asses. I think we can finally find the rhythm of completing this playlist and we couldn’t have done it without you.” Jade’s turquoise gaze went to the scramble brained goth queen and Jade cleared throat in an obvious attempt to get her attention. “Isn’t that right!?” Her question was unsubtly directed at Mei.

“Sure as shit is brown, sweet tits. Give the little synthetic a microchip for his good behaviour. Hussle up the loving buttercup. Mama got work to do!” Like some inhuman beast, Mei completely cleaned off a wing on one mouthful before diving back onto her seat by her mix station. “But seriously Roddy, thanks for the snacks. Always said you were a hero, true story.” The pint sized martial artist quickly placed her headphones back on to try and line up the next few songs for the radio, whilst simultaneously sending a text to her girlfriend.

“To Devi; Can’t wait to be done. See you soon x”

Roddy smiled before cupping both his hands around Jade’s alabaster face. “I guess that’s my cue to make like a tree and get out of here.” He lightly kissed her forehead. “Text me when you get done and if Mrs Elliott frees me from work, we can meet with Pops and them for some brunch. We still got a shit ton of meat…”

Against her own preferred and better judgement, Jade didn’t make a comment. She could, but she didn’t want to give Mei any additional ammo to use against her when they were on commercial break. Even as she went to open her mouth to say something, Mei was already interrupting her.

“TITLE OF YOUR SEX TAPE!” Mei yelled.

“Uh-huh.” Rod sighed. “We still have all that stuff my dad brought us so we might as well use it.” He leaned in again and left a lingering kiss on his beloved's lips. One day, Roddy planned to marry this girl. Though he oft wondered what a wedding between the Angel Princess and the Butchers Boy would actually look like; considering he carried Foundling status. “Love you, see you later.” He winked before waving at the raven haired DJ. ”See you Mei!”

“GET BENT C3PO!” Mei waved pleasantly in return before ushering to Jade to take her seat so they could begin work again, “As promised my good little spawns we’ve got something special up next. This one goes out to the man of the hour, the man with the power, too sweet to be sour. Funky like a monkey, Mister Antoine Beauregard. Mister Beau, by request of your baby girl Genevieve, Imma play this one, just for you. We’re gonna bring it back now, 1981, Luther Vandross, Never Too Much cos you never can have too much Beau in your life. Here’s to you, you old bitch.”

In their pristine, white mansion, a haven of safety and serenity, but also completely minimal in design (aside for the man of the house’s closet and gym), Danny Belmonte, shooting guard #7 of the Boston Celtics, had blasting out of his bluetooth speakers Here We Go by Lightmuzik. He had been up for hours now, seeing how he had a regime he couldn’t break even if this was supposed to be a day of relaxation.

He was in the kitchen almost done making breakfast for himself and his wife. A nice, hearty breakfast. Omelets, English muffins topped with raw honey and a pinch of ground chia, and plenty of blueberries. In his activewear, he swayed around the kitchen, grabbing their filled plates and bopping to the dining room table. Regardless of what he and Jillian were going through, he wanted to remind her that he still loved her and would always be there for her, in whatever way she needed him. That’s what they promised in highschool and he was someone who never broke his promises. If he said he’d always be there for someone, through thick and thin, that’s exactly what he’d do. Be there.

For a good while now, he had been battling creeping thoughts of his own happiness and debating if he was where he wanted to be. The more he and Jill climbed, the more it felt like they weren’t where they needed to be. Everything went according to their design and yet, as perfect as it all seemed, he knew deep down, he couldn’t love Jill in the way she deserved. He loved her. Of course, he loved her. But that love was of a man who watched his best friend blossom into a beautiful and strong woman. That love wasn’t passionate. That love was simple. Easy. It was safe. That love wasn’t the kind that made him want to run back home. That love was that of friends not lovers. And they’ve been married for a few years and nothing’s changed. If anything, the one thing that has changed was they couldn’t pretend anymore and their life was made for pretending.

Today he had more bounce in his step and that was likely because they were going back home. Something they didn’t do often even if they lived only an hour away. In the calm of the morning, in the privacy of their humble abode, Danny and Jill could be their most authentic selves, putting the masks down, talking about anything and everything that was forcing them to lose sleep. Danny had noticed lately that Jill had been distracted. Just like she planned, she went from BC to Harvard Law. Just like she planned, no one asked when they’d have children. Jill had a way of shutting others down the moment they even asked too personal of questions. Just like she planned, no one tried to unravel their secrets, like the arrangement of them having an open relationship to satiate their urges, so long as it was kept locked tight.

It helped that she was friends with Kylee Grimm and no one wanted to make that girl their enemy. To this day, Kylee scared him. He couldn’t tell if she was heartless or she actually cared which is why she was ruthless. Regardless, Jillian Belmonte always had a solution for all their problems. Recently though? She could barely keep her thoughts straight. She was scattered and lost in the depths of her mind. Danny wanted to know what was up and if they were on the same wavelength, they just hadn’t discussed it yet. Quietly, he poured orange juice for both of them and then proceeded to make Jill’s morning coffee. Just how she liked it. Briefly, he glanced at his wrist watch, expecting her soon and finished setting the table. Soon she’d be here and soon they’d get to talk. He eagerly waited for his wife to exit the bedroom, all dolled up and ready to conquer her day. He eagerly waited for Jill.

The wait wouldn’t be long given the smells that were wafting through the halls and up through the second level. The aroma and honey and blueberries were already mingling in while Jillian was touching up her hair. She prided herself on her looks. She wasn’t going full Elle Woods during her law degree, but she would make Reese Witherspoon turn around and give her a knowing nod as if her life depended on it. It was down to a science at this point, and the routine never wavered while she was in her palace in the Boston suburbs. Some carefully brushed shadow, one thick run of liner, smudged into the lid, the big mascara, the ruby red lipstick, her skin already perfect, the porcelain untarnished, she made it look effortless. Her hair had already been brushed to a fine wave, her light white cotton top was a perfect fit for the warm weather, and her butt looked damn good in those jean shorts. It was a shame she had nowhere in particular to go today, but that would certainly not be the case in an hour or so. Olivia would have something. Or Kylee. There would be somewhere to be, someone to impress. Even on the slim chance that it was an actual day off though, she could at least look good for her husband.

The off-season was one of her favorite times of the year, since it meant she would have Danny all to herself. The road trips for basketball business were kept to a minimum and all the places she wanted to go were on the docket. Not many law school students got to take breaks by going to the Maldives or Ireland or Italy. But even still, there was something about their respective schedules that did allow them to focus on what they needed to do. Danny’s NBA career was on the upswing and she was breezing through Harvard. They were a true power couple on the rise, with brighter things on the horizon.

So why wasn’t she happier about it?

This is all she ever wanted, right? Sure, was Danny on her radar as that potential Prince Charming in high school? Not really. Not until junior year did he officially cross out of the friend zone and into something much more. She followed in Allison’s high-school footsteps heel for heel, controlling the Clovers and the control of information with a bit of help from her friends. She was top of her class at BC. She was on the fast track to the state house and beyond. But there was still a hollowness to it. Maybe the long lonely nights from the fall to the winter were getting to her more than she let on. It did seem like she took greater joy in telling her girls about her latest triumphs than her husband. Even on her wedding day, which was a lovely occasion back home that started at the lake and ended in a reception room filled with catering from every business in Edenridge (even if the Belmontes insisted Italian had to be front and center), it felt like it should have been something more than it was. Like Danny never truly left that zone, with the memories of being kids keeping something in check. Those feelings had been growing during her time in Belmont. Maybe that name just had connotations she didn’t take into account when she picked the place out. Jillian was increasingly distracting herself with her friends’ business. Olivia and Kylee were in constant contact updating her about things. Same with Lanie, and Allison, although they weren’t as frequent. Hell, even Mei was keeping her abreast of her latest developments with Devi… So why didn’t it feel like she had the same passion that they did?

All those thoughts stayed in the mirror though as Jillian gave one last kiss to herself before sauntering down the stairs where the breakfast awaited. As she blesses the dining room upon arrival, she got a glimpse of Danny in full and had a smile plastered on her face. “Mmmmm, morning Danny. Everything smells just right. What did I do to deserve such a breakfast… and such a man?” She was really laying it on thick today.

Stoic as can be, learned behavior from his father, now that he was no longer alone, Danny finished setting the table, which included their espresso shots, orange juice, and water, turned the music off so there was nothing but silence surrounding them and pulled out Jillian’s throne, “Only the best for my Queen.” He volleyed back, knowing this dance all too well. These kinds of sweet nothings and pleasantries were not a sign of happiness for Jillian and Danilo. No. Even if they didn’t say anything, they knew each other long enough to feel that their chosen partner had a lot on their mind. That they weren’t happy.

After she took her seat, he kissed her cheek and whispered into her ear, “You look beautiful.” As always, he complimented her, which she didn’t need to hear but it was a habitual routine of theirs. It was his way of outwardly showing he cared. They didn’t have any prying eyes but the more he did it, the more it would become true, right? She was very much beautiful to him and she deserved the world, and Danny had promised himself, since the beginning, he would show that every day. However, he also knew that he wasn’t the one that should be giving her this treatment. He knew these words and these actions all felt empty because she didn’t want them from him. A coffee can be made the same by two people but the one made by the person you loved tasted ten times better because that was a necessary ingredient to life. Love.

Both Jillian and Danny loved each other but not in the way that set their hearts ablaze. He loved her, but not enough to make her dream and think of him and that was the same for him. He loved Jillian but he knew, deep down, that he settled because it was the perfect life, the ideal painting, everything he could and should ever dream of. She was the perfect choice. The perfect partner. The perfect wife. Jillian O’Brien was perfect and to the outside world, she was perfect for him. Once he was done pushing her in, like any gentleman would, he went to his seat, across from her. Grabbing his table napkin, he flapped it open and laid it on his lap.

With his knife and fork, he cut a piece of omelet and tasted his cooking. Somewhere from highschool and now, he learned how to not burn a kitchen down and maybe it’s because Jill pushed him to greatness and made him want to be better, or maybe after the loss of his mother, he wished he had learned sooner. Regardless of how he learned to cook, a small smile did creep on his face. It wasn’t half bad. He was getting better. “So,” he finally started. “I checked your calendar and it looks like you’re free today…” he took a moment to take another bite, chewing in silence. “I was thinking we could do something together.”

As Jillian tucked into the sumptuous breakfast bounty laid out before her, she nodded. “Mmhmmm, yes, I don’t have any meetings on the docket at LLC today,” the redhead confirmed as she enjoyed some of the fluffy omelet. It was certainly a better job than some of Danny’s previous attempts. Thankfully their downstairs bathroom had the ability to digest what she couldn’t from back then. “I think they’re finally starting to let up a little bit.”

She did like those days when it was just the two of them. As helpful as having Maya and Kendall around the house was for cleaning and cooking, they couldn’t talk to Jillian the way Danilo could. Although talking wasn’t coming very often lately. Sure, they talked about the things in front of them, but it was so different from the conversations they had when they were teenagers, or even kids. Just able to meander in each other’s company, without a care for what the other would think or what the topic’s importance was. Everything now was tight and almost functional. A byproduct of their respective paths, but it was difficult to bear without the presence of the Belmonte man for the majority of the year. Especially the cold New England winters. More often than not, if he had a game, by the time he was done with the press and the cooldown rituals and back home, Jillian was in bed. The 8 am classes required her full attention, and while her makeup game was practiced as Danny’s jump shot, it still took time. So a rare day like this could be exactly what they need to make sure there was still a spark of something there.

Or determine if it was extinguished for good. Sure, they would always be friends. Danny had done nothing to convince Jillian that anything would change that. The worst thing she could think of would be sleeping with her sister, but Grace actually held to her word as far as she knew. Danny was never touched. Instead, Jill got that honor in senior year.

However, maybe it was because Danny was basically the only man Jillian had ever known that made the ennui more present. Was she missing out on something? Olivia had been around with a few men before settling on Quinton Woods as her partner. The two were planning another rendezvous to Paris in the fall to celebrate their two years of marriage. Of course, having to choose between Olivia and Mei in regards to who she sided with in regards to Q and his previous relationship with Miss Midnight left a sour taste in both Jill and Mei’s mouths.

And it was that taste that she thought about during those lonely nights in her bed, trying to drift asleep to the sounds of Danny’s exploits lighting up ESPN Sportscenter’s nightly recaps. There were times when there were thoughts in her head, thoughts that she had shared before under the unbreakable pacts of slumber parties with the girls that would eventually team with her on the Clovers and beyond. Thoughts that she even expressed physically a couple of times. Kat was a willing partner, as was Mei, but the second Danny confirmed things, those thoughts had been quelled. Recently, they were back. The loneliness was the subject of a few conversations with Olivia, Kylee and Allison lately. This could be a chance to remedy that. Or at least take something off the full buffet plate her mind had been the past few months.

Speaking of the plate, a bite of muffin was next, washed down with some water. “I would love to have a day together, just you and me. Did you have something particular in mind that you wanted to do?”

His question was a test and it looked like Jill had failed it, clearly having forgotten about the importance of this day. They had plans and it was on the door of their fridge being held by a magnet, in the form of an invite and a picture of Beau smiling like he had just written a bestseller book. “Yeah, I do, but the likelihood of us having me and you time is very unlikely, Jillian.” He said matter-of-factly. Grabbing a couple of blueberries, he tossed them one by one in the air and started catching them in his mouth. Once the mild distraction came and went, Danilo never having grown out of his childish tendencies, he focused on his wife, once again giving her his undivided attention (which wasn’t really all his attention, his mind as of late rarely on her), “You really don’t remember, do you?” His expression was perplexed, as if this was surprising news, but it immediately shifted to acceptance and a shrug, like he should’ve known better, “I guess that’s to be expected since you’ve been a busy girl chasing a feeling but that’s why I made sure to get your schedule adjusted so you had today open. There’s no way I’d miss this for the world.”

It was a rare instance when confusion appeared on the face of Jillian O'Brien, but when it did, it was tough to hide. She was used to seeing it on Danny, but those remarks combined with the face brought it out of her. She stopped eating for a moment as she tried to think about what she could have possibly missed. Was Nat back in for a visit? The Belmonte family had plenty of events to keep track of, and even Jill had trouble keeping up. There wasn't much for the O'Brien household to keep tabs on with everyone fanning out after her father's death. No, it couldn't be a familial event.

As she struggled to come up with the answer, finally it dawned on her. Allison had mentioned a big event some time this month. A big gala that the community was coming together for. But what would Allison be worked up enough about to… "Oh… OHHHHHhhh. Oh right! Beau's retirement party! Wow. I totally forgot about that…"

It made sense for Allison to want to give the man a proper send off. It could be argued that if Beau hadn't broken up the party on Carlisle Street that night, Allison would have ended up in the hospital. Or worse. In all honesty, Beau did a lot for his adopted community. Jillian didn't discuss much with the former English teacher and now cafe owner, but he was always willing to listen. Still, his retirement didn't really register on her mind. That's what happens when a person is hyper-focused on something else.

"I didn't know if you wanted to head back to Eden tonight or not. I mean, I am definitely able and willing to go! I'll have to pick out a better outfit than this, obviously, but yes, totally. We can do that. We can have a date night another time."

Danny nodded at his wife, both coming to an agreement of their duty and making an appearance in Eden which had become less and less each year. He had barely touched his food, which wasn’t something he usually did; always keeping up with his health and wellness, making sure he stood in tip top shape for his career. He couldn’t help but search Jill’s expression and see if she really did want to go or if this was all just her forcing herself because he wanted to. He could keep the conversation going. He could ask her if she was sure and bring up the elephant in the room. The clear tension between them because of their lack of lust for one another. He could do a lot of things. He could be happy. Instead he chose to keep things as they were and asserted, “It’s decided then. We’ll head there tonight.”

Putting his fork down, he grabbed his phone and began texting a few people, his attention having already left the dining room to think of better things. As he texted Mikhail, his co-captain and dear old friend, to see if he wanted to meet up at some point, he firmly suggested, “You should wear your tiny black dress. It looks hot on you. You gotta’ remind everyone why you reigned supreme. But also,” he stopped typing for a moment to lock eyes with his wife. “Black suits you,” he smirked. “You don’t wear it enough.”

A wry smile cracked Jill’s facade as she chuckled softly. The ginger goddess was not exactly known for her blackened wardrobe, but she had worn it well in previous eras. For a time in sophomore year after her dad passed away, she draped herself in enough dark shades that Mei even told her she had to lighten up a bit. No one could mourn forever, even for someone as integral to the community as Shane O’Brien. But the Celtics (the NBA ones) made black and green look damn good together.

“Well, between all the red for Harvard and the green for the Celtics, black hasn’t had many chances to get in there,” Jill admitted. “But if the Bruins can make it work, I suppose I can as well. But I don’t want Beau to think I’m there for a funeral. It’s his retirement party, right? It should be a celebration.”

A celebration that had slipped her mind completely. Was Danny right? Did Jillian lose touch with her Edenridge roots already? She hadn’t been in Boston that long. Sure, BC was a wild ride, a chance for her to prove herself to the greater Massachusetts area that she was more than just a pretty face and a worthy cheerleading captain. But just because one rises from the mud to be put on a pedestal doesn’t mean she can completely forget what shaped her?

“The right accessories could make it pop though. Maybe that emerald necklace to show that I still have the heart of a Celtic? I’m starting to get some ideas. If Olivia is going tonight, I can coordinate with her and Kylee to make sure the outfits are on point. Show that the queens are still in control of things?”

“Is Jillian Belmonte asking for my permission or telling me how things are going to go tonight? If you go green, we know I have several ties to match.” After pocketing his phone, he checked his wrist watch, a clear sign he was about to dismiss himself from the table. Ready to go off and focus on his strict schedule, leaving his wife to her own solitude, Danny thought of the hour drive they had ahead of them and all the catching up he’d need to do. Standing up, while wiping his fingers on his napkin, he chuckled to himself, “I think tonight I’ll try to fit a game in with Mikhail. It’s been awhile since he and I shot hoops together. Bet I still can kick his ass though.” Tossing his napkin on his plate of unfinished food, he cracked his neck, and gave the beautiful redhead a genuine suggestion, “You should try to meet up with some old friends too. Who knows! Maybe it’ll give you a moment to breathe, from all that studying...” His voice trailed off once more and his gaze was back on his phone, which was now out of his pants’ pocket. As he scanned through sports alerts and social media notifications, he started to clean the table, disengaging and truly believing he did enough to be present and attentive for his dearly beloved. At this point, the two lovers were completely disconnected even if they were great at playing pretend.

An eyebrow was raised from the other end of the table at the question that responded to her rhetorical statement. There was no asking. Danny knew that. Jillian was in control of the relationship from the second the childhood friends made it official. It seemed like that was the way things should work, but it was more of a drain on the Head Clover than she let on. She was managing so many things at Harvard, at home, with Liv and Kylee, and she had been doing so for so long. While Jill was thankful for the support she had through high school with Allison setting such a sterling example, Lanie and Olivia being her right and left-hand women, Kylee being the digger, now it seemed like those avenues were blocked off and everything was on her. Danny was supposed to step up in Boston, but aside from the breakfasts he seemed more distant than ever. Even now, in regards to the party, he was talking about what he was going to do with other people, not even interested in her. Jill should be offended…

But was she? It was tough to tell. Maybe too much of Danilo Belmonte was a bad thing after all. Or too little in her case. They were almost less than friends. More like roommates. She saw him less these days than she did her neighbor at BC that first year, and she was certain he flunked out because he was conducting “chemical studies” in his room way too much. It was sad in a way, but she also couldn’t feel the same things she thought she felt in all those conversations when they were kids. They were supposed to conquer the Bay State, but instead it was more like they were splitting the path to other kingdoms. Hell, she was certain she heard Danny mentioned in trade rumors through the grapevine.

“Well, like I said…” Jill started, an air of annoyance in her voice. “I know Liv and Lanie will likely be there, Kylee is probably there, most of the people I want to talk to at the party I talk to on a regular basis…” She was trying to think if there was anyone else who would have her attention. “I don’t know. I’ll figure something out. I hope Grace is still off on one of her ‘art tours’ or something. I’d prefer not to rehash things there. I don’t know. I’ll probably find someone to talk to. Maybe Allison is there with some of the older Clovers.”

“Don’t sound so hesitant, babe,” Danny chuckled, amused at how uncertain Jill sounded. “You’re a socialite and a top dog at what you do. Finding someone to talk to is easy for you. And hey! Maybe you’ll meet up with that crazy ass goth chick you vibed with in highschool.” As he brought his dishes to the sink, he tried to bring a name to a face but couldn’t recollect.

Anyways, it didn’t matter.

He had plans and Jill was bright enough to figure out her own. They didn’t need each other to enjoy their hometown. Danny had better things to do and other people to catch up with that weren't his wife. He loved Jill but at this point in their relationship she was less than interesting to him. Same-o, same-o. Unchanging and always there. Rarely wanted to change things up. And usually so stressed. Uncool and totally not his vibe a lot of the time. Once he cleaned up his area, he made his way to his wife and put his arms on her shoulders, gently massaging her, “Seriously. You need this. Stop thinking about school and use this opportunity to chill. Okay?” He leaned down and kissed the top of her beautiful red hair before his gears went to something better. Himself. “Now!” He exclaimed, squeezing her shoulders with a bit of force. “I have to make a call but before I go, are you done? I can clean up so you can focus on taking a nice scented bath and do all the things you girlies like to do. Shave… self care… whatever.”

Whatever. That unprofessional word certainly summed things up in their relationship. Danny didn’t really care what Jill did. Each member of the household was so laser-focused on their own path, their own way forward, the other person could do… whatever.

It was so frustrating for Jill. Every time Olivia and Q gushed about their plans it was always as a tandem. As much as Jill tried to loop her right-hand woman into what she was doing, Q always came in at some point. The synergy there was not present in this house. The redhead could feel it in her shoulders as they tensed under Danny’s touch. It wasn’t an embrace, it was a death grip.

And it was keeping her locked in place until Danilo released her. It dawned on her that maybe Belmont, as well as the last name that was just one letter off, were both one and the same thing. An empty boxcar, keeping her locked in this railway to her goals, but leaving her with nothing in between to hold on to. Did it matter the destination if the journey left nothing to be desired? Maybe that was something she could talk to someone about tonight. But who could she trust? Olivia would tell Quinton. Allison would tell other members of the squad. Kylie? It was possible she could tell everyone. There was a lot to think about.

“A bath sounds nice,” Jill confirmed as sweetly as she could. “I can relax a little bit and fully picture the ensemble for tonight. I’ll be ready for showtime… and for Beautime.” With that, she cleaned the rest of her plate and left Danny to the dishes.

Alone again.