NATALIA

As much as Nat wanted Cason to stay home away from the new threat that was Duke's rage, she knew it was the right thing to do to go after him and bring him home. She knew Mika would want him home and he deserved to say goodbye to her properly if they convinced Dean to burn her body. She looked up again when Cason came over to her and she listened to his words, reassuring her that he was going to come back. As he leaned in and kissed her deeply, she kissed him back, closing her eyes causing a couple more tears to fall before Cason pulled away and wiped away her tears. She let the feeling of his forehead on hers to linger as she looked at him, knowing the look he was giving her. “I know you will” she whispered to him, to show she did indeed understand the look he was giving her before letting him go and find Duke. When he disappeared, she let out a breath, hoping that Cason and eventually Esme could bring Duke back from the edge of whatever suicide mission he had bolted to. She didn't know Duke as well as the others did, but she still liked him and he always had made Mika happy, which made Natalia happy. He was also always so nice to her and didn't judge her for her outbursts. So she wanted him to come home.

She barely had a moment to register that Cason had momentarily popped back in the room when he had taken Esme to what she presumed was Duke's location. If he had come back for Esme then there was still hope that Duke could be brought back alive, so she forced herself to focus on the others left in the room and finally seeing that Dean let himself mourn and accept the facts. As much as he terrified her, she felt so sorry for him seeing him feeling this hurt and distressed. She watched as Dean just crumbled on Sam, crying uncontrollably into Sam's shoulder as he gripped onto him tightly, and Sam held him tightly in place, feeling glad that his brother was finally letting it all out. Nat glanced over at Anna as she spoke up about getting a bed ready for Dean so he could rest up, thinking it was a good idea. Dean needed to get this grief properly out of his system alone and not by sitting beside Mika's body in the panic room. “I'll bring the ice pack” she told Anna, wanting to help them get Dean upstairs. She unwrapped herself from the throw and got off the couch, power walking to the kitchen and opening the freezer to grab one of Bobby's ice packs he always kept in there with the frozen veg bags that Mika had always insisted he have. Any other time she would have grimaced at the frozen broccoli, but she didn't even give it a second glance this time. Her brother needed her and Sam and that's all she could think about right now.

Walking back into the room, she stood in front of both her brothers, looking up at Sam. “Let's get him upstairs, I'll help” she told him, getting a nod in response as she led the way to the stairs and up the staircase.

SAM

Sam kept a tight hold on Dean as he got onto his feet, seeing and feeling how unsteady Dean was on his feet. “I got you” he told him softly, letting Dean just take in all their other words. He knew that Dean would want to argue their requests but he also saw how much weaker Dean was after the fight with Duke and he just didn't have the energy to argue. Only able to finally agree to burning Mika's body. He held Dean close to him as Dean finally broke down, letting himself feel all the pain and grief he had been holding back these last three days. He let Dean just sob onto his shoulder, grip onto the back of his shirt, anything to just let it all out. “Let it out brother…I got you” he cooed before looking past Dean's shoulder to Anna when he heard her words break through the silence. “Thanks Anna” he replied, then glanced over at Natalia who offered to get the ice pack. He gave her a soft sympathetic smile to say thanks for helping, knowing how much she was scared moments ago, but still being able to be a sister to Dean.

He waited for Natalia to come back with the ice pack then when he thought Dean was ready to move, he began the slow careful walk towards the staircase and helped him up, letting Natalia always be two steps ahead of them both. He knew it would be risky taking Dean into Mika's room, but he also figured Anna would take care of any triggers for Dean so he could focus solely on resting up. Once at the door to the room, he paused for a moment so Natalia could open it for him, letting them in and he brought Dean to the bed, laying him down. He let Natalia step up and hand Anna the ice pack so she could play nurse. “Need either of us to stay with you to help?” Sam asked Anna, hating seeing his brother in such a state. He watched as Nat perched on the edge of the bed and took Dean's bloodied hand into her own without saying a single word. Just wanting to give him some kind of comfort as the baby sister. It brought the tiniest of smiles to Sam's face seeing Nat wanting to be there for Dean.

“Something tells me Nat wants to stay here” he remarked to Anna, with Natalia nodding and looking at them both. “I do…I wanna be here for him” she commented.

Dean cried quietly into Sam’s shoulder as everyone seemed to be preparing to get him cleaned up, around him. He barely even heard them as they spoke, through the roaring in his head as a lot of hard truths sunk in. Dean unwrapped his arms from Sam as he felt him begin to walk after a few moments, wrapping an arm around his shoulder as he tried to help his brother with his own weight. Dean was exhausted, and he was emotionally spent. He honestly felt like he was going to pass out from a mixture of lack of sleep, the fight, and finally getting his emotions out of his system. But he took each step slowly.

Anna stepped back into the bathroom, when she heard Nat and Sam bringing Dean up the stairs. She took an extra towel out of the small linen closet, and quickly wetted it under the bathroom faucet, before stepping back out into the room, just as they walked through the door. As she expected, the second that Sam lowered Dean onto the bed, Dean basically passed out, and Anna sighed sadly, dropping her shoulders.

“Poor guy.” She sighed, turning to look up at Sam as Nat picked up Dean’s hand and Sam asked if she wanted them to stay. Anna shrugged her shoulders, walking to the small dressing chair Bobby kept in the corner of the room, by the window. She picked it up, and turned it where Sam could straddle the back the way that he preferred. She sat it down on the floor and patted the seat, “Then why don’t we all stay for him. Until Duke comes home, I think we should focus on keeping Dean sane and resting…”

Anna didn’t like taking control of situations, especially after what had happened with Dean, but she couldn’t just let him bleed and suffer because she was angry with him. Whether he saw her as family or not, she was his family. Anna unfolded the towel in her hand and she stepped up to the bed, sitting on the edge near Dean’s head. She reached across and began cleaning the blood from his nose, forehead and cheeks. As she wiped the damp towel across his busted eyebrow, he opened his eyes and frowned, “Anna?”

“Shh. Be still. I’m gonna clean you up.” Anna stopped him, shaking her head. Dean scanned her face and his own melted into sadness all over again, but Anna shook her head once again. “Don’t even think about apologizing while you look like this. I want you in your right mind before you bother with groveling.”

Anna smirked softly, brushing the wet rag over the last of the blood near Dean’s ear. She gave his earlobe a slight tug, and shrugged her shoulders, watching as he seemed to almost smile before closing his eyes. Anna brushed the wet towel over his neck, cleaning up the drips of blood that had trickled down, and then reached across, handing the towel to Natalia.

“If you want to clean up his hands, I’m about to start working on his face. He doesn’t need stitches. A few butterflies and an ice pack and he should be alright. But he’s gonna sleep like a rock and be sore tomorrow. I would ask if we should undress him, but he looks like dead weight right now.” Anna explained. She reached her hands down and lifted Dean’s t-shirt up, brushing her fingers over his stomach gently, trying not to wake him as she checked for any sign of bruises or pain. Other than some bruising on his elbows, knuckles and probably his knees, he seemed pretty unharmed. “I think he’ll be alright until he can shower tomorrow.”

Anna opened the first aid kit, and she pulled a hand full of butterfly bandages and some ointment. She then started to work on Dean’s eyebrow, which seemed to be the worst wound.



Cason sighed and gritted his teeth so hard he thought they would shatter out of his mouth when Esme instantly uttered the words he was hoping she wouldn’t. Of course she wasn’t going to do anything he was asking of her. It was the way of practically every human he had come in contact with in this dysfunctional little self sacrificing mess of a family. He almost reached his hand up to choke her, but remembered that it wasn’t the way he handled his problems anymore. So, instead, he closed his eyes and let an angry sigh leave his nose as he contemplated his next words to convince her not to run the clock out on Duke, by arguing with Cason.

“Fine. Fine you can…” Cason paused, looking around as he tore his eyes away from Esme’s and attempted to find some way that she could go in with him safely. But the longer he scanned the building, he couldn’t find a single way to guarantee her safety. Her next words took him off guard, and he turned his eyes down to look at her once again, furrowing his brow at the mental image of Nat even getting herself into a situation like the one Duke was in. He didn’t even want to fathom the things he would do to get her out alive, and unfortunately, Esme had found his weak spot, “I would kill every single one of them in five seconds…and I would bring her home.”

He sighed, and glanced around the warehouse once again, pointing to the demons that hadn’t seen or heard them yet, perched around one of the entrances, “I’ll need you to fight your way in. I won’t be able to save you, if I’m trying to pull him out. So, don’t get overwhelmed or knocked down. Take out as many as you can, and meet me inside the door, quietly, in the dark, until I can take care of the rest. Mess this up and you die. I don’t know any other way to explain it to you…”

Without saying another word, Cason disappeared, and he reappeared in the warehouse, directly in front of the head demon. Cason stepped out of the shadows and Duke’s eyes instantly flashed with fear as he recognized him, and began to glance around for Esme. Cason snapped his fingers at Duke, causing his eyes to turn back to his, and Cason simply shook his head, telling Duke that he wasn’t stupid enough to have brought Esme with him…at least inside.

“Cason. I never thought I’d see you with my own two eyes again. Wow.” The demon in front of Duke called to Cason as he stepped into the light with a smirk.

“Yeah, yeah. Lilith wants my head on a pike. We can skip the chit chat. I’m here for the Cowboy.” Cason quipped across the room, his voice echoing off the walls, almost as clearly as the laugh that followed.

“See, he came for us. I figure he’s fair game. The Winchesters would understand…and wait a second.” The demon released Duke, stepping forward while pointing the long silver blade in his hand at Cason. Cason didn’t flinch or move, still smirking, “Why would the Winchesters send a demon to pick up their strays? Which one of the hot little pieces are you rolling with, hmm? The blonde one? No. The tall drink of water? See last I saw, she was…”

Duke growled, and the demon chuckled as Cason’s eyes darted to Duke’s teary eyes and Cason shook his head.

“The sister? Oh…oh this is good. This is real good. Two Winchesters bedding down with demons. Won’t Hell just be tickled…” 

“You know. You always did talk too much, Sal. So, why don’t we get this overwith. You and me. I win, Cowboy comes with me. You win? Well, the Winchesters have a couple more bodies to burn.” Cason offered, holding his hands out to his sides. The demon spun the blade around his hand, causing Cason to watch every move of the bright silver. “What do you say old buddy?”

“Deal.” Sal growled, and rushed forward, swinging and missing Cason’s face by centimeters. Without missing a beat, Cason caught his hand, turned the blade with a crack of Sal’s wrist and shoved it through his sternum with a bright light and a scream from Sal’s burning body. Cason’s eyes widened, and he stared at the blade for a few seconds. Another weapon that could kill demons?

Footsteps alerted him that demons were moving in. So, he dropped Sal’s body and turned, slicing two demons throats before they could fully approach him. From across the room, he could hear Duke fighting his own battles, demons being killed. So, he decided to turn and back his way toward Duke. The mission was to get Duke out of here, not to kill every demon in the building. As soon as he and Duke touched, their shoulders bumping together, the demons stopped coming, realizing that they had no weapons to use against Cason and Duke both…who had weapons that could fully kill demons.

“Don’t you smoke out now…C’mon!” Cason screamed at them, but the remaining six demons began tilting their heads back, smoking out of their bodies with a chorus of screams. With a growl, Cason stepped forward, chopping one of their heads off. And then it was quiet as the bodies dropped to the ground around Cason and Duke. 

Cason turned to Duke, expecting him to just come with him, “Let’s go.”

“No!” Duke screamed out of nowhere, turning his exhausted teary eyes up to Cason’s face as he pulled the knife out in front of his body, pointing at Cason’s chest.

“Duke…I promised them I would bring you home, and I will bring you home, one way or another. I don’t want to hurt you.” Cason explained slowly, and Duke simply chuckled. Cason held the blade out in front of himself, and dropped it to the sandy floor at his feet, holding his empty hands up. “I don’t…want to hurt you.”
“Well that’s the mistake right there, ain’t it. I’m DONE losing people. I’m DONE runnin’. And I’m real sick and tired of bein’ saved…” Duke choked out, his voice rising as he spoke and distraught tears falling down his cheeks, over his nose and off the tip of his chin. Cason nodded and kept his hand out toward Duke.

“I know. As a demon, you’re not gonna believe me, but I know. I know that right now, this feels hopeless. You just lost the one person who believed in you, no matter what. She was the one person who never pointed out your faults, she never picked you last, even when it came to Dean. I know…” Cason attempted to explain, stepping forward slowly. He placed that outstretched hand on Duke’s shoulder, and Duke reacted immediately, stabbing the knife into Cason’s stomach with a sob. Duke quickly removed the blade as Cason sparked a few times and stepped back with a gasp, holding the open and sparking wound.

“NO! You don’t get to talk about her!” Duke screamed, rushing Cason. He tackled Cason to the ground and pointed the knife down at Cason’s face, trying to force the tip into his eye socket. Cason grabbed both his hands, resisting as they both growled loudly, Duke’s growls a sob of mixed emotions. Cason almost managed to flip Duke, but in the process, Duke buried the knife deep into Cason’s shoulder, causing Cason to scream, echoing through the warehouse as he sparked, his skeleton showing behind the brilliant gold. Duke removed the blade and held it in his hand, so tight that his knuckles were white.
Duke leaned back, beating at his forehead a couple of times as he growled out a regretful sob and Cason took the opportunity, throwing a heavy punch that landed against Duke’s temple, knocking him almost completely out. Duke slumped over onto the dusty floor, the knife still clutched in his fist as Cason gasped for air, growling between ragged breaths. This felt nice and familiar…

Duke groaned, rolling onto his back as Cason rolled over onto his stomach, standing from the ground as quickly as he could. Now on his feet, Cason stepped away from Duke, trying to put some distance between himself and Ruby’s knife while his wounds began to slowly heal.

“I’m…I’m taking…” He inhaled a breath, barely able to fully breathe in, and then spit some blood onto the floor. “I’m t-taking you home.”

“No…” Duke groaned, slowly rising to his knees and then his feet. He stumbled, but stood on confident feet as he squared up. “Kill me. Let’s go.”

“I’m not going to kill you and I don’t want to hurt you, kid. There’s a girl who is likely about to walk through that door and she would…well…she wouldn’t survive that. I’m done losing people too....”

Duke punched Cason across the face, breaking his nose instantly, which Cason reacted to by punching Duke in the stomach, doubling him up before connecting an uppercut to his chin, knocking him completely back like a tree falling in the forest. But as soon as Duke hit the ground, he rolled onto his stomach, coughed, and began to rise again, causing Cason to sigh and roll his eyes.

“Stay down. I’m not going to kill you, idiot.” Cason groaned, standing over Duke. Duke swiped the knife from the ground as he stood to his shaky legs and turned to swipe it at Cason’s throat. Cason tilted his head back and the blade barely missed but somehow ended up lodged in his thigh, straight to the bone. With a growl, Cason started to reach for the blade, trying to take control, but Duke grabbed it first, twisting and pulling it from Cason’s thigh. Cason reached out, catching Duke’s wrist and snapping it with one flick of his own. Duke cried out, the knife slipping from his hand. Cason caught the knife, and quickly pulled Duke to his chest, jamming the tip of Ruby’s knife into Duke’s chin, small drops of blood pouring down the sides.

“The next round? I’ll break both your legs. You’re human. That arm’s gonna take long enough.” Cason growled in Duke’s ear, his eyes black and his head holding Duke’s still on the tip of the blade. Duke whimpered, trying to pull away, but Cason’s other hand reached around, caging Duke to his body, while putting pressure on his broken wrist. “Stop it!”

“Just k-kill me!” Duke cried out, nudging his own chin against the tip of the blade, but Cason turned the blade, pressing the sharp edge against his throat instead. Cason nudged himself a little closer to Duke’s ear, and softened his voice.

“I’m not going to do that. You have people who love you…still. There are people at that house who are depending on me to bring you home. I know this hurts. I know that everything in your body is screaming at you to run away, to do something stupid. But would your sister want you to tear yourself apart and get yourself killed because she died? We…will kill Lilith.” Cason almost cooed in Duke’s ear, feeling the poor guy nearly melting in his arms from grief. As he felt him relax, he kept the knife in place, but loosened his grip on Duke’s broken arm, “I will stand there with you…side by side if that’s what you want. I will hold her, while you drive this blade through her heart. But I will NOT let you die…here. I will not kill you and I will not let you continue down this path, because they need you. Esme…needs you. As much as you’re angry with your brother, he just lost the love of his life.”

“They don’t need me. They got each other.” Duke whimpered, now nearly limp against Cason’s chest. 

“And they don’t need another loss. None of them. Dean barely made it out of that room by the skin of his teeth. Your sister…she died. Sam fried half his brain killing Alastair and may be hanging on by a thread. Anna is trying to take care of everyone and hold them together. You’re the only one…the ONLY one that managed to come out of this situation fully…human and whole with someone on your side. I’m bringing you back as close to that as I can. I have to, man.” Cason whispered to Duke, and for the first time, Cason heard an emotion come out of Duke that wasn’t just rage screams and growls. He whimpered, and then a sob broke from his chest, deflating him as Cason loosened the hold on his neck. Cason shifted his arm, wrapping his arm around Duke’s neck to hug him to his body, “There you go. Esme?! A little help?!”

“I don’t know what to do…” Duke sobbed, and Cason nodded against the side of his head.

“I know. And that’s where the others come in. Let them…let them help you. Come back with me, and let them help. I got you…” Cason cooed to him, and even though Duke wasn’t entirely sure why, he tilted his head back on Cason’s shoulder and just cried, no more fighting. Cason sighed with relief, and just let him for a few moments before shifting his body to drape one of Duke’s arms over his shoulder, wrapping an arm around his waist. The poor guy was almost limp with exhaustion and grief. But at least he was going home, and Esme wouldn’t have to burn his body along side of Mika’s…

Esme watched Cason after she had spoken what she felt she needed to. She wasn't surprised by Cason gritting his teeth and sighing angrily. She knew refusing to stay outside in the shadows would piss him off, but she didn’t care. Her main focus was getting Duke out, back home, and patched up. Then, once home, maybe she could get him to talk to her. She knew getting him to talk to her would be challenging, but she knew he needed to instead of bottling all his emotions. When Cason began to tell her she could go in too but paused to look for a safe route for her, Esme looked too, seeing there was no safe way for her. That was why she felt the need to bring up the alternate situation, feeling it was the only way for him to see it from her point of view. As he replied, Esme nodded softly. “Exactly.” she said softly. She finally felt they were on the same page in a way. She hated that she had to use Natalia as an example to get through to Cason and not fight her to help him get Duke out of the warehouse.

When Cason pointed, Esme looked to where he was pointing, seeing the demons perched around an entrance that hadn’t noticed or heard them yet. She nodded as Cason spoke, then looked at him, giving him a look that said she understood. She knew it was entirely accurate, even if it was a bit harsh. Esme would fight her way into the warehouse to the best of her ability, knowing there was no way she would get in unscathed. After Cason disappeared, Esme looked back to the demons perched by the entrance again and sighed heavily. She could make out at least four demons from where she stood, but that didn’t mean there weren’t more, just out of sight. Esme pulled the two knives she had on her, then quickly and quietly made her way over to the demons, keeping to the shadows as much as she could. Once on them, she sprung on the first demon, shoving one knife into his back, piercing his heart, and twisting it before pulling it out. The body hit the ground with a thud. The other demon turned around in surprise, then narrowed her eyes at Esme. “Well, look what we have here, boys. The last Stirling.” one demon chuckled.

“I’m a little surprised you’re still alive after what I’ve heard going around.” the demon said as he took to his feet. Esme narrowed her eyes at the demons, but they soon widened as the one speaking stepped out of the shadows, and she saw his face. She knew this demon from her asylum days. “Venrik.” she nearly growled, her eyes narrowing again. “I thought you died that night.” Venrik laughed loudly, tilting his head back as he did. As he laughed, Esme adjusted her stance, then locked eyes with him when he looked back at her. “I barely made it out when those two buffoons showed up to save their sister.” Venrik told her. “It’s such a shame they also didn’t find you that night. Maybe things would have turned out differently, and you wouldn’t be so broken.” Venrik smirked as he saw the anger coming to Esme’s face. “Shut up! You, Vladin, and Morana should have died that night instead of running like cowards, but they both got what was coming to them!” she growled. “I killed them both!” Venrik laughed at Esme again and shook his head as he looked at her. As he laughed, Esme glanced at the other demons. They hadn’t moved a single inch.

“Oh, Pet…. Wait, that’s not right. What was it they called you?.... Oh, right. Little Dove.” he chuckled. Esme gritted her teeth and tightened her knife grip upon hearing the pet name Valdin and Morana had given her. Venrik grinned from ear to ear, seeing how the pet name affected her. It showed that she hadn’t forgotten about what had happened to her and hadn’t gotten over it. “Did you really think it was only myself, Valdin, and Morana you had to worry about from your days in the asylum?” he asked with a wide grin. A look of confusion came across Esme’s face as she thought about the demons that always loomed over her in the asylum. She couldn't remember any other faces other than Valdin, Moranna, Venrik, and occasionally one called Caellum. Venrik chuckled at her confusion before speaking as if he had read her mind. “Other than Caellum, there was one more. I'm not surprised you don't remember him. Every time he came to check on your progress, you were either unconscious or completely out of it. He was in charge of everything, and it was his idea to use you for the experiment.” Venrik grinned. “He’s going to be thrilled you’re still alive to finish what he started.”

“And I’m sure he’ll reward me handsomely for taking you to him.” Venrik grinned brightly as if he had hit some good luck. Before Esme could ask for a name, Vinrik nodded his head toward Esme, and the two demons with him charged her. She narrowly dodged the first demon, but the second landed a punch to her jaw, sending her stumbling back a few steps. Regaining her footing, Esme swiped at one demon, catching his cheek with her knife. He cried out in pain as the holy water and salt-soaked blade burned his skin. “Thrilled, huh?” Esme responded with a laugh as she sliced through one of the demon's shoulders. “Perhaps, but you should know I won’t go without a fight.” “Oh, I do know, Little Dove. I wouldn’t expect anything less from someone who runs around with the Winchester’s pet cowboy.” Venrik said as she watched Esme fight. After a moment, Esme plunged her knife into the heart of one demon and twisted it, but before she could remove the blade, the other demon tackled her to the ground and pinned her down after a scuffle, disarming her. He smiled down at her face triumphantly, but it faded as Esme grinned back.

Esme looked into the demon’s face as she projected fear onto him. She watched as the fear overtook him, and as soon as his grip on her loosened, she rolled and placed her hands on his face, melting it as he screamed. Once the demon was dead, Esme took to her feet and faced Venrik again with a glare, who grinned at her. “Well, would you look at that? That’s something we weren’t expecting you to do after everything.” he said in faux surprise. “What else are you capable of?” He whistled, and a large handful of demons appeared out of the shadows and surrounded her, but she held her ground. ‘I wasn’t expecting to fight this many, but I also wasn’t expecting to run into him either.’ she thought. Reaching into the inside pocket of her jacket, Esme pulled her collapsible bo staff, gave it a flick, and expanded to its full length. “Come and get me!” she called out to the demons as she spun the staff in front of her. She took a fighting stance as they charged her three to four at a time. Esme fought to the best of her ability, aiming at their heads mainly, but several got in hits on her.

Her eyes took on a lavender glow as she fought, and her body began to emit heat. She could feel Venrik watching her intently, taking in everything she did so he could relay it to whatever demon wanted her. “That’s right, fellas, rough her up but not too much. Ryker doesn’t want her too broken.” he said from the sidelines. ‘Ryker. That’s who wants me.’ she thought. “He’s not getting me!” Esme growled from the middle of the demons around her. Pressing a button on the staff, a blade popped out on one end, a modification she had made during her three days in the RV with Duke. Twirling the staff, she cut the necks of a couple of demons and cut the hands off a few others. Without missing a beat, Esme stabbed a demon in the heart, then flung their body into another. It took several long minutes to defeat all the demons Venrik sent after her. The bodies that lay at her feet and around her were either decapitated, stabbed through the heart, or had their faces partially melted and stabbed through the heart. Esme turned to Venrik, looking disheveled with a feral look in her glowing eyes and breathing heavily.

“Alright, Venrik! Enough games!” she growled at him. “If you want me to go back to him!.... Take me yourself!” Venrik stood from where he had been sitting, his eyes shifting to black as he pulled out a long, shiny silver blade. It was unlike anything she had ever seen, and she wondered where a demon could get such a weapon. Venrik saw her looking at the blade, and he twirled it in his hand. “This is a little something from those feathered assholes. When they die, they drop them, and these sweet little beauties can kill anything.” he chirped. Without another word, he charged her. Esme narrowly missed his attack, but the blade slid across her cheek, cutting it and causing her skin to sizzle as she gasped from the pain. “What the hell!” she growled as she spun to face Venrik. “Hmmm, interesting. Very interesting. Looks like you’re allergic to angelic weapons.” he said, smiling brightly. Esme and Venrik charged each other, making blows one after the other to each other's stomach, face, and ribs. She lunged and embedded the blade on her staff into his shoulder, causing him to cry out. Esme took this chance to go after the knives she had dropped earlier in the fighting.

As soon as she had picked them up and turned to charge Venrik, he had thrown the angel blade at her, and it pierced her right shoulder as soon as she turned. Esme cried out and dropped to her knees, gritting her teeth as the blade burned her. She reached up to pull the blade from her shoulder, and it burned her hand. As Esme fought with the angel blade, Venrik pulled the staff from his shoulder and walked over to Esme, placed his foot on her chest, kicked her backward onto the ground, and stood over her triumphantly as she hissed in pain. “You ready to give up yet, Little Dove?” he sneered down at her. “Never!” Esme growled. Bending down, Venrik picked Esme up by her jacket onto her feet and looked into her face. “Give up. You have nothing left.” he told her. “I have plenty left!” she growled with a grin. Esme’s eyes began to glow brighter, and the heat from her body intensified, burning Venrik. Without warning, she headbutted him and then jammed a knife into his stomach. As he cried out, she could hear his skin sizzling from where her head had hit his face. “I told you, I’m not going back to him!” she growled.

Taking hold of the hilt of the angel blade, she grit her teeth as it burned her, then pulled it from her shoulder with a scream. Esme then plunged the blade into Venrik’s heart. Letting it go, she stepped back as he screamed and sparked before his body fell to the ground. Esme stood there momentarily to catch her breath and took in the scene before her, hardly believing she had done all of it. But on the bright side, she had one less demon from her past to worry about. Esme then collected her knives, tucked them away, and then collected her staff, folding the blade back into it and collapsing it. She tucked it back into the inside jacket pocket and then returned to Venrik’s body and looked at the blade sticking out of his chest. It baffled her that the angel blade burned her like iron burned demons, but why didn’t it burn them? Pulling a purple bandana from her pocket, Esme wrapped it around her burnt hand and tied it. Esme then pulled her gloves from her pocket and put on the right glove, putting the other back in her pocket. Using her bandaged hand, she pulled the blade from Venrik’s chest and placed it in her right hand before finally walking to the door and going into the warehouse.

After Esme walked in, she kept quiet and kept to the shadows. The only thing alerting to her being there were her glowing eyes. She could hear the fighting going on as soon as she entered and instantly knew it was Duke and Cason fighting before she saw them just up ahead of her. Esme walked closer, stopping at some old shelving, and leaned against it just as Duke stabbed Cason, causing him to scream. She winced as his scream echoed through the warehouse as he sparked. She watched as Duke pulled the knife from Cason’s shoulder and held it tightly in his hand, then watched as he leaned back and beat his forehead a couple of times as he sobbed. Esme hated seeing him like this, and it caused her to grip the angel blade tightly in her hand, then tighter as she winced when Cason punched Duke’s temple, almost knocking him out. It took everything in her not to run from the shadows to him as she saw Duke slump over onto the floor. ‘Come on, Duke. Stop fighting him and just come home.’ she thought. Esme’s glowing eyes teared up when Duke told Cason to kill him.

She looked down at the floor and shook her head, wishing she hadn’t heard him say that and not wanting to watch the fighting anymore. Esme closed her eyes tightly and gripped the blade tighter as Cason responded to Duke. ‘I’m already here, and you’re right.’ she thought, sighing silently. She winced at the next blows they landed on each other but didn’t open her eyes until Cason broke Duke’s wrist and he cried out. All she could do was watch and listen with teary eyes as Cason continued trying to get through to Duke. ‘Come on, Duke. Listen to him.’ she thought. Esme’s eyes teared up more when Duke told Cason to kill him once again. Those tears rolled down her cheeks and onto the floor. She lifted her left hand to her aching chest from Duke's emotions, watching as Cason moved the knife from Duke’s chin to his throat. Cason’s next words to Duke made her see him in a different light, and she was thankful for his words to Duke. However, Duke’s response caused her heart to drop. “That’s where you’re wrong, Duke. Without you, I don’t have much of a place in this group.” she said barely above a whisper.

She sighed softly as Cason spoke to Duke again, and Duke stopped fighting and sobbed in Cason’s arms. Esme felt like she could breathe a little better now that Duke had stopped fighting and finally let himself cry. When Cason called to her, she pushed herself off the old shelving and stood there a moment, watching the two and listening. Esme hoped that Duke would let her and the others help him. After carefully dabbing her tears with her bandaged hand, she walked out of the shadows and towards the two men, the glow in her eyes slowly fading as she got closer. She looked up at Duke with soft eyes, even though she wanted to kick his ass for the worry he put her through. “He’s right, you know. You need to let us help you.” she said softly. “And if you can’t let everyone help, at least let me help you.” Esme looked at Cason and gave him a look of thanks before looking back at Duke. “But first things first. We’re getting you to a hospital to get looked over before we go home.” she told him, her tone saying she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“I’ll get myself looked over as well. If my ribs aren’t cracked, they are severely bruised from the fight I had out there.” Esme then stepped up to Duke's other side, put his arm over her shoulders, and put her arm around him. “Let’s get out of here. I’ll explain what happened once we’re patched up and home.”

NATALIA AND SAM

Anna taking charge of looking after Dean, cleaning him up was somewhat a relief to Sam and Nat. As much as both wanted to help, they both were still grieving themselves and dealing with the reality that they just witnessed Dean fight it out with Duke in such a brutal manner. The siblings also didn't know exactly how to help Dean when he was practically a shell of his former self through this loss he was feeling. Sam looked over when Anna came back into the room and pulled the corner chair out for him, Sam went over and sat on it, leaning his arms on the back of it, whilst Nat stayed put exactly where she was. It felt weird to him being in Mika's room under these circumstances and as he sat there, he remembered how it had actually been a long time since he was last in the room. He'd come upstairs and knocked on the door plenty of times, even leaned his head in to check on Mika in the past, but it had been a very long time since he was actually in the room. Glancing around he noticed how Anna had hid the direct memories of Mika, mostly the photos and he sighed. The room felt so empty despite having four of them in it. It didn't feel right being in here without Mika telling them it was okay, even though Mika had considered it also Dean's room. This was their sanctuary and space to just be them, it strangely felt like he was intruding.

As he let the girls clean Dean up, Sam let himself go down memory lane as he thought about the time when he was a kid and he came up sheepishly, to ask her for advice.

A little knock on Mika's door came echoing through the music she was playing as she sat on her bed sketching for old time's sake whilst cuddled up to Dean. They both knew that knock all too well, “come in Sammy” she called out, causing him to open the door and step inside. “What's up kiddo?” She asked him, “can I ask you guys something?” Sam asked nervously, making Mika put down her book and pencil, glance at Dean and then at Sam. “Sure you can. You know you can talk to us about anything” she replied, gesturing for him to climb onto the bed and sit with them, much to Dean's disgruntled reaction.

“How…umm…how do you talk to girls?” He asked, barely looking up at either of them but aware that they looked at each other and smiled before looking back at him. Mika just reached out and grabbed him, yanking him to between herself and Dean, cuddling him as Dean and she started to give him some advice whilst also making it comical so he lost his nervousness.

He snapped out of the memory when he heard Dean's groggy voice questioning if he was seeing the right person over him. He couldn't help but smile sadly as Anna spoke to Dean, telling him not to apologize now whilst he's in such a state. As Anna handed the cloth to Natalia, he fell into more memories of being in the room and being looked after by Mika, tears threatening to spill down his face silently, making him wipe his face.

Natalia took the cloth from Anna, noticing out of the corner of her eye how Sam was forcing the tears away whilst in his own little world. She didn't have memories of being in the room like Sam did, the only ones she had were of her trying to convince Mika to get out the room during the four months of Dean in Hell, or coming in to check Mika was ready to head out on a hunt. “Okay” she replied to Anna as she began to gently wipe the blood off of Dean's knuckles and hands, seeing where he was grazed and bruised but glad he wasn't in a worse state. “I just hate it's taken him to get to this state before accepting the reality. Not surprised, but hate it anyway” she sighed. “It was hard enough trying to get through to Mika when Dean was in Hell in this room, and I never thought I'd be back in here tending to him this time round” she continued to say. A part of her wanted to climb onto the bed and just hug her brother, to give him comfort as he slept from the exhaustion that had finally taken over him, but she also knew she needed to be available for whenever Cason and Esme got back. Not only that, someone had to be mentally available for when Bobby got back from the shops and eventually will have to begin the process of wrapping Mika's body up. Once she had finished cleaning up Dean's hands, she stood up and took the cloth back to the en suite bathroom, cleaning it of Dean's blood before draping it over the side of the bath to dry.

Walking back into the room, she sat back beside Dean on the bed to keep watching over him and being available in case Anna needed her help with anything. ’at least he's okay now…’ she thought to herself and hoped Cason was having any kind of good luck with Duke. “I just hope the others are getting through to Duke, I hate seeing these two in this way” she commented. “If anyone can get through to him it'll be Esme and Cason.” Sam replied flatly as he continued to watch over Dean and the girls. He felt like a bit of a loose end in the room and with the added memories constantly coming in and out of his mind, he almost couldn't handle being in the room anymore. “I'm gonna go grab us some drinks” he said, forcing himself to stand up and leave the room, heading downstairs. Although he had every intention of coming back upstairs with some drinks for them all, he also wanted to finally pluck up the courage to go visit Mika's body, now that Dean wasn't keeping her from the rest of them.

Walking into the kitchen first, he headed to the fridge and grabbed three bottles of beer, opening them all, leaving the caps on the counter top and then forced his feet to lead him down to the basement. Making it downstairs, he paused at the panic room door before making himself step inside, seeing her body on the makeshift bed, a lump in his throat forming. He walked over to the chair that Dean used to sit on before everything escalated and looked at Mika, tears falling down his face, his jaw locking up as he tried to not completely break down. “Guess it's my turn to say goodbye huh?” He shakily said, lifting one bottle up and taking a swig. “Sorry it took me so long…Dean kinda didn't let any of us come down to see you until now. I miss you so much Meeko. Everyone does…” he sobbed. “Duke has done a runner…but Esme and Cason are getting him back, they know you'd be so mad at him right now” he explained, “Dean is upstairs finally resting and accepting you're…well…down here” he said with a sigh, wiping his face but the tears kept falling. “I'm so sorry I didn't arrive sooner to stop Alastair from doing this to you. I'll always carry that guilt” he finally admitted, “I know Duke blames himself but it's my fault, not his and I wish Dean took his grief out on me, not Duke” he continued to sob.

“Tomorrow morning we'll give you the Hunter's Funeral you deserve, but I wanted to spend some time with you on my own before then. I love you and I'll always miss having my big sister around. I promise I'll look after Dean and Nat for you. Make sure they're safe…” he said before letting himself fall quiet.

Upstairs, Natalia could t help but notice how long it was taking Sam to get three drinks. “He's taking a long time” she remarked.

Anna pinched the wound on Dean’s forehead together and she placed the two butterfly bandages that she had stuck to her fingers across it, basically stitching him up. She brushed his hair away from his face, as his mouth fell slightly open and he began to snore, the exhaustion and upset obviously knocking him out cold. For the first time in days, he seemed relaxed and at peace, but she couldn’t imagine what he might see inside his mind while dreaming. She was honestly afraid he would startle awake at any moment, but as she brushed her fingers through his hair, he continued to sleep and she let her shoulders drop with a sigh.

She sat back a bit, wiping her hands on her jeans and then turned to glance at Sam. He was a mess, and there wasn’t much she could do to help him, either. At the moment, all of them were barely hanging on by a thread and supporting each other came in waves of strength…then breaking down…then more strength. She nodded at Nat’s words, having just had the same thoughts herself, “Yeah. I think his body just kinda…gave up. I’m hoping this is a turning point for him. And I really really hope Duke is okay. I can’t even imagine what’s going through his head after all of this mess and then hitting Esme?”

As Nat entered the bathroom and then came back into the room, Anna could feel that Sam was thinking about leaving the room, for one reason or another. She was a bit worried for him to be alone, even just for a few moments, but she also knew that pushing him too much could cause him to run, just as fast as Duke did. Ruby was still out there, after all. So, when he mentioned that he was going to get a drink, Anna turned and she watched him closely for a moment, but then she nodded, “Okay. Come right back, though, okay?”

As Sam left the room, Anna sighed and brought a hand up to her forehead, leaning over and just breathing. The tension was still high in the house, and until Mika was laid to rest, she couldn’t see any other way for them to coexist. She sat in silence for a bit, just listening to Dean’s labored breathing and her own heart thumping wildly in her head from the demon blood that seemed to be roaring like the wind.

But then Nat spoke up and Anna snapped back to reality and turned to look at her, before glancing toward the door.

“He is taking a while…” She remarked back, before standing carefully from the bed. She stopped in the center of the room, pushing her hair back from the sides of her face before turning to Nat and holding a hand out to her to make sure Nat heard her, “Can you um…can you watch him for a bit? I think he’s gonna be out for a while, but I’m also a little worried he’s going to wake up scared half to death, if he’s dreaming. I’m going to go check on Sam…”

After a moment, she turned and walked out of the room, jogging down the stairs. She turned and glanced through the kitchen, not seeing Sam there, and her stomach dropped. She knew exactly where he was. He was in the panic room. He was with Mika. That could either be a point of closure for him, or it could be the thing that ripped him apart. She slowly approached the basement door, taking each step to the basement with care so she didn’t potentially startle him. As she turned to step into the open panic room, she stood against the door and sighed. He was sitting there, in that chair that Dean had sat in for days, and he mirrored his brother’s pose, nearly identical. He was quiet, and he seemed to be trying to come to his own terms, but Anna could tell from his body language that he was absolutely defeated.

“Sam?” She whispered, the quiet of the panic room causing even her quiet call to echo a bit, “Do um…do you wanna take a walk? Maybe get some air? I can um…I can help you get her ready in a bit, if you want. Let me help.”



Cason winced as Esme came into view. He had warned her that he couldn’t help her out there, but seeing her looking a bit worse for wear all over again did bring a sear of burning guilt into his mind. He shook the feeling off, as they had more pressing matters to attend to in that moment, and he nodded as she gave him the look of thanks that he never would have asked for. He was bringing Duke back mostly out of a sense of pride toward the women of the group, especially Esme and Natalia. Any other time, he wouldn’t have cared what happened to the cowboy.

Duke shook his head at first, refusing to look Esme in the eyes as Cason held him, but after a moment, he sobbed softly and he nodded his head at the proposition of going to the hospital first, before anything else was addressed. Duke was exhausted. He was spent. All he wanted to do was sleep, or die…he wasn’t sure which. Cason scooted him a little closer to Esme, “I’m sorry I couldn’t be out there with you. But we’re bringing him home, and from the sounds of things, you don’t sound….that hurt. But we do need to talk.”

“I thought you said you didn’t bring her…” Duke barely managed to get out of his mouth as he took a staggered step forward, and leaned his bodyweight completely against Cason. Cason lifted him a bit as Esme stepped under his other arm and Cason moved his arm up, giving her room to help carry the poor guy.

“I gave you a look that said she wasn’t inside. She wasn’t inside. She was outside. Whatever happened out there isn’t technically my fault.” Cason quipped to Duke, as he started walking toward the door. Duke tilted his head weakly and he smirked. “I’m a demon remember?”

Cason glanced up and over at Esme, smirking at her to try and lighten a bit of the mood, now that the worst of the danger was over. It was what Duke would need, and if Cason knew anything about the idiot in his arms, bringing back his nature was going to be the most important part of keeping him sane and around until they could say goodbye to Mika.

“I’m going to willingly ride in that stupid truck.” Cason said as they walked through the door and out onto the lot. “In fact, I’m going to drive that stupid truck. Lucky for me, you left it running.”

“I had…I hot-wired it.” Duke muttered with a soft scoff, Cason quickly bringing his free hand to Duke’s chest as Duke stumbled between them. He nodded with his own chuckle and shrugged.

“Well, that gives you something to fix while you’re moping around the house.”

At the hospital

Cason sat in a chair in the corner as the team of doctors and nurses in the tiny town hospital worked on both Esme and Duke. He tried his best to brush off the nurses, but had to deal with their looks of disbelief when they realized that all of the wounds on his body that showed in his ripped clothing were healed. Not a scratch existed, outside of some smeared blood from the initial stabbing. As Duke lay there, the nurse next to him wrapping his wrist in a cast, he glanced over at Esme and he sighed.

“So, how long are you gonna hate me?” He asked her bluntly, his tired voice hoarse and weak. He still wasn’t sure he was in his right mind, as everything in him wanted to resist going back to the house. But he did know that he had messed things up with Esme, at least on some front…and judging by her nose? He had really…really messed up. "I didn't know...I didn't know it was you that grabbed me. I didn't. I would never lay a hand on you."

Esme had looked over at Cason before stepping under Duke’s other arm and shook her head at Cason’s words. She wasn’t expecting an apology from him, but she did wonder what he wanted to talk about and if it was the same thing she wanted to talk about. Knowing Cason, it was probably something completely different. “You have nothing to be sorry about. I knew this wouldn’t be a cakewalk when I demanded you let me help.” Esme told him before Duke spoke. She sighed softly as she adjusted her grip around Duke as Cason answered, which made her smile tiredly and almost laugh. When she caught Cason smirking over at her, Esme kept her smile and shook her head lightly, realizing that Cason was trying to lighten the mood a bit. She was glad that Cason was trying to lighten the mood, knowing Duke would need it. Getting Duke back to his usual self was one of her main goals. If Esme couldn’t do that, she knew that she would more than likely lose him, and that was something she wouldn’t be able to come back from on her own. Duke had become her weakness, and she knew if Ryker and the other demons knew, they would use him against her.

Esme knew things would get difficult during and after saying goodbye to Mika, but she was still grateful that they wouldn’t be burning two bodies. That would be far too much for the group to handle. It was already hard enough having lost Mika. Before the three walked to the door, Esme had slipped the angle blade she was still holding into her belt and placed her hand on Duke’s chest. As they walked through the door and into the lot, Esme looked over at Cason as he spoke about how he was willing to ride in Duke’s truck, then said he would drive it. She softly laughed, but it faded as Duke spoke about having to hot-wire his truck to start it. “Instead of just keeping your keys, I should have removed the starter.” she said softly. Esme wasn’t sure if that would have kept this from happening, but it would have at least given her more time to get to him before he ran off and got himself into this mess. However, she would have also never run into Venrik and learned the name of the demon that started the experiments on her in the asylum.

Then again, did knowing his name really help her out now? Esme had no idea where Ryker was or what he even looked like, and who was to say she could kill him if they ever found him. There was also the possibility that he’d learn she was alive if he didn’t already know, come for her, beat her, and start the experiments all over again. The thought of having to go through all that again scared the hell out of her.


Esme sat in a chair beside the bed Duke lay in. She had two nurses tending to her shoulder after a small fight getting her jacket and flannel off. When they finished with her shoulder, they moved to her burnt hand. After they removed the bandana from her hand, she shoved it into her jacket pocket while she told them a story about what happened when they asked her. Esme spouted a bit of nonsense in her tired state, and they all seemed to buy it for the most part. Probably thinking she was internally struggling by how calm she was acting and staring off at nothing in particular while they tended to her wounds. Esme had barely glanced at Cason as the nurses wanted to look him over, which she usually would have smirked at. Esme had receded into her thoughts, going over everything that went on and what she had learned, causing her to tune out everything the nurses said and did to her. As her thoughts drifted to Ryker, she grew uneasy, and it was her turn to want to run even though she didn’t know his whereabouts. She didn’t want the others, especially Duke, to get tangled up in this part of her past.

Part of her wanted to run and draw this threat away from the group. Esme didn’t even want to call Sassy and tell her about it, even though she knew the woman needed to know and be prepared for whatever could come their way. She was pulled from her thoughts with a sharp intake of breath at Duke’s voice. As he spoke, she looked down at her hands after she realized the nurses working on her were gone. His words made her sigh heavily and close her eyes. Esme knew Duke felt like he really messed up with his actions, especially by punching her in the nose. “I don’t hate you, Duke. But you’re lucky I was worried about you. Otherwise, I’d be kicking your ass right now.” she said tiredly. What I do hate is how you let everything bottle up until it comes out in one giant explosion. I hate that you won’t talk to me before it gets to the point where you….” Esme cut herself off as she grabbed her jacket off the arm of the chair, carefully swung it around behind her, and draped it over her shoulders. Opening her eyes, she looked at the nurse, who was finishing up with Duke’s cast.

When the nurse finished and told them they should be discharged soon, Esme nodded before the nurse left the room. Esme looked at Duke with tired eyes. “To the point where you feel you have to run and find something to take your emotions out on or find something to kill you.” she finished with some difficulty. She turned her eyes back to her lap, fidgeting with the bandage on her hand, her hair falling to cover her face. “I know you thought it was Cason that grabbed you and that you’d never lay a hand on me, but you did because you bottled your anger. You can’t keep this up. It was Dean and me this time. Who’s it going to be the next time you lose control? How far will it go before someone can stop you if I can’t use my empathy or I’m not there?” she told him. Esme refused to let the frustrated tears welling up in her eyes fall. She looked up from her lap and looked at Duke, her tired, teary eyes holding worry for what could happen. “And if you ended up getting yourself…. Before we could get to you. I wouldn’t survive that, Duke.” Esme let out a shaky breath and fell silent.

NATALIA

Nat's thoughts about Duke echoed Anna's. Part of her wished she could respect Mika by helping Duke herself in some way. Look out for the man in Mika's memory, knowing how close the two were. But she also knew the best person to do that was Esme and in this situation, Cason. She trusted the both of them to bring Duke back so he could actually say goodbye to Mika and get some kind of closure that he rightly deserved, especially now that they had calmed Dean down enough for anyone else to go down to see Mika's body. It still felt so wrong to think of Mika as just a body in the basement and not the woman who kept them together. She didn't think it would ever feel right thinking about Mika in the past tense. She still wanted to go rogue and find a way of bringing her back, but she also knew how much quicker Cason would stop her from doing so. She also knew that right now Dean needed her more, just as Sam did. They needed each other.

As Anna agreed that it felt like Sam was taking a long time to get a drink and to come back like Anna requested, Nat felt like she wasn't being paranoid. She looked up when Anna got up off the bed beside Dean, knowing what she was thinking of doing. So when she asked Nat to watch Dean, it was the easiest request she could oblige. “Of course I will. Sam needs you, I got Dean” she replied, letting her go downstairs, whilst Nat moved over to the side of the bed and perched carefully beside Dean's sleeping form. She carefully took Dean's hand, not wanting to wake him up despite him seemingly being in a deep sleep. “Oh Dean…I wish I could take all of our pain away…I wish I could bring her back to you” she whispered, rubbing his hand with her thumb. “I know I give you way too much shit, but I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on you ever…” she continued talking despite him being asleep, feeling it's the only way she had the courage to even say it. “You've had to deal with far too much in such a short amount of time, but I'd like to think I know Meeko would want us all to do whatever it took to make you happy again. I could almost hear her complaining about how we're all moping around and not remembering the good times” she sadly smirked.

She could almost hear Mika giving them a real lecture for being so depressed in her head, ‘what you moping about for? I didn't stick around and give y'all amusing memories just to forget them the moment I'm dead’ Nat assumed Mika would say. Looking up from Dean, she glanced around the room and saw just how much Anna hid away for Dean's benefit, thinking how different it made the room feel, yet it still felt like Mika and Dean's little haven to Natalia. There was still the odd traditional sketch stuck on the wall that she recognised as Mika's work. A mixture of recent sketchings and ones that were much older, judging by the natural tanning of the paper. She never realized how much mythical related things Mika drew over the years, even way back before Nat was even on the scene, until now. She recognised one piece that was stuck to the wall as Mika's back tattoo design. “Hard to think that she won't ever use all these set supplies anymore…you know, when you were gone and she actually got out of bed? She was always at that desk drawing or painting…her grief into every single stroke…think it was the only time any of us ever saw her leave the bed. You're both so alike. But I know, giving her the Hunter's funeral will give us all closure and we're all going to help you through it…we just need the other three to come back first…” she sighed.

She knew Dean wouldn't be hearing her but she felt like if she didn't talk she would be overwhelmed with worry about the others. She hoped that Cason and Esme had got to Duke and they weren't too late, she knew the group wouldn't cope with another death so soon. Yet she also hoped Cason was safe as well, deciding that she would just assume no news was good news for her own sanity.

SAM

At first Sam didn't realize that he had been gone longer than he intended to be. He did want to go back upstairs so as not to worry the girls, but he didn't know when he would get another chance to actually see Mika before she got wrapped and burned. He didn't notice Anna had come down until she quietly spoke his name, making him look up and across at her. “Sorry for keeping you waiting…” he apologized, lifting his beer bottle to his lips for a moment. “I just…I didn't know when else I could get down here” he explained, feeling like he had to give justification for his actions like some kid who was going to get in trouble for walking off. Then she asked about going for a walk and getting some air and as much as he didn't want to leave Mika alone, he knew Anna's suggestion was probably needed. “...yeah, I don't think I can do it alone when the time comes” he agreed, standing up and leaned forward, placing a kiss on Mika's forehead as if to say goodbye. He then moved towards Anna, wiping his face of any rogue tears that may have been rolling down his face and took Anna's hand. Silently, he reluctantly went back upstairs with Anna and headed outside via the back lot, not wanting to go out the front door. He wasn't in the mood to go for a walk down the main road and risk seeing anyone who knew him.

He didn't want to have to explain why he looked so defeated and upset, knowing it probably was hard enough for Bobby to do. Sam could only imagine how hard it must be for Bobby to hide his grief from his face when being out in town, something he was even impressed Bobby could even bring himself to do. He even wondered if anyone had actually properly checked on the man, he felt guilty for being so washed up in his own grief that now he thought about it, he never checked on Bobby. Getting outside, the cold air hit him instantly, making him take a deep inhale of breath before exhaling. “It still doesn't fully feel real in a way, when we were kids, I always thought Mika was completely indestructible like Dean. She survived a wendigo attack, no one should have survived that…so I got convinced she was this…superhero or something” he told Anna as he tried to hold it together, finally being able to actually talk somewhat. “I know every hunter risks dying every day, but…I truly thought if she could survive a wendigo when she was a teenager, a demon would be no struggle for her. It doesn't feel right the world took her away from us” he said. “I still remember when she convinced Dean not to beat my ass for following you into that cabin when we were kids and not be bored in the motel nearby” he reminisced. “She always was team you, even back then. Saw us just as kids who wanted a moment of normalcy” he told her.

He hated talking about Mika in the past tense, it didn't feel right or just. If he hadn't killed Alastair in the moment, he knew he would have gone on a hunting spree with Duke to find him and kill him himself. All Mika ever tried to do when she was alive was to keep her family together, despite the rocky past she had with Dean. They always found their way back to each other, and even when she wasn't around, she still checked in with Sam via texts or phone calls, used to check how his university studying was going when they all had separated. He wished more than anything that he could just fix things, and he still couldn't fully shift the guilt for not getting to that warehouse quick enough. “Dean isn't going to be okay for a long while after this is all done…” he sighed.

Duke turned his head from Esme to look at his broken arm that was being worked on as she spoke up finally. He could tell that she didn’t really want to look at him, but that she was also lost in her own thoughts. Any other time, he would have hovered, but he wasn’t sure he had it in him, after everything he had done and dealt with that day. He couldn’t help the small smirk that lifted the right corner of his lips, barely raising his cheek when she mentioned that she felt the need to kick his ass, but was too worried about him to act on it.

Of course she wanted to take a bunch of that frustration out on him. He had put her through, what he could only assume was, hell that night. But then the conversation turned toward heavier things, like his bottling of his feelings, something that had always been a problem for him, and had always been a sore spot for Esme.

After a moment, he opened his mouth to speak, to defend himself, but the nurse was manhandling his arm, smoothing out the bandaging on the thick cast that was going to put him in a weird spot with hunting for the next six weeks, all because of his temper. He had no one to blame for that, but himself. He hissed in pain as she rolled his arm over without asking him, but then announced she was finished and left the room.

Duke reached down with his good arm and pushed at the lever to lower the bar on the bed he was tired of laying in. He then sat up and slung his legs off the side of the bed, placing his hands in his lap as Esme continued speaking, but not looking at him. He watched her face closely, his own calm and willing to listen, for once. He sighed, flexing his hands as she finally looked up at him, and her words sunk in. What was supposed to be a simple conversation with Dean had turned into the worst and most brutal fight they had ever had. He had physically hurt Esme in the process and then ran off, like always, as if putting himself in danger would somehow help the situation and make amends with Esme…as if she wanted him dead for making a mistake.

“I know…” He said quietly, frowning as he battled with the tears that he was too tired to fight back. He didn’t shift his gaze from hers just to keep her from seeing those tears, instead, he kept his gaze solid and fixed, with a lot of effort. “I um…I know things are out of control. They have been for a while. I don’t…I don’t know how to fight that, really. I never have. I quit tryin’ a long time ago, and maybe it’s my next step, you know?”

Duke paused, turning his eyes up to the ceiling, as he tried to find the next words he wanted to say. He wanted to push it all down again, to bottle it up and focus on her wellbeing, but as soon as the thought crossed his mind, he was reminded that she was hurt…because of him. Her nose was bruised, and probably broken because of him. So, he sighed and turned his eyes down toward hers again.

“I think I’ve always just tried to be whatever people needed me to be. I’ve never been anyone’s first choice. I always screw up. I always let people down and then? I have to rely on the people I let down to save me…from monsters, myself, judgement, life?…all of it. I don’t know how to break that cycle and with Mika…” Duke paused, taking a shaky breath as all those fresh emotions bubbled up in his chest and he felt overwhelmed and nauseated all over again, “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to just move on, not from this. But you’re all I got left, Esme. I r-ran off because you’re all I got left and I can’t tell if you’re havin’ trouble lookin’ at me. I can’t tell if that nastier side of me is too much, and I’m gonna lose you all over again. I wouldn’t survive that, either…”



Anna shook her head as Sam apologized for taking a moment with Mika. Having him apologize wasn’t her intention, at all. She just wanted to make sure he was alright, and wasn’t off somewhere crying alone, for fear of showing that emotion to either of the girls…specifically the two that would support and love him through it. But she nodded her head at his explanation of why he was in the basement, not that he needed to explain. Anna frowned sadly as Sam leaned forward and kissed Mika’s forehead, her stomach cramping painfully at the thought of helping him wrap her body for the funeral. She knew she had to be tough for him, because it didn’t seem that anyone else had it in them, and the last time she had seen Bobby, he wasn’t even looking any of them in the eyes. He had buried himself in work.

Anna sighed as Sam wiped his tears, once again trying to hide them from her, but she reached her hand out and took his, letting him lead the way as they left the panic room and walked back up stairs. As they walked out the back door, Anna nearly gasped at the feeling of the cold damp air ruffling her hair and she pulled herself a little closer to Sam’s side, just staying close as he started to speak. Was he actually going to get this off his chest? Was he actually going to open up about how he was feeling about the way things happened? It was something Anna wasn’t sure he would ever be capable of.

But as he spoke, Anna stayed quiet, and held his hand a bit tighter, just letting him talk. She glanced down at the gravel as their shoes crunched against it, and sighed, thinking back to the first time she had ever met her little family, way back when she and Sam were kids. Mika had come to her full defense, as if she was the best thing Sam had ever found, even though they had just met. Mika seemed more worried than anyone about Anna running off, and it was something she always held close to her chest, especially when they met again.

“She always seemed to be the most reasonable of the two of them. Maybe that’s why they worked so well.” Anna spoke softly, the past tense hitting her in the chest as well as she thought about Dean, and the pain that she couldn’t even imagine. She could only assume it was a similar but more intense feeling to the one she was experiencing in the barn, when she wasn’t sure if Sam was coming for her, or if he was even alive. “I think that Dean will have to take his own time, maybe even alone, before he will process things. This is a shock to his system. I can tell by the way he was speaking to me…all of this is going to hit at once, and I don’t think it’s going to hit him in violence, like Duke. I think we’re going to have to worry about him just…sitting around, stewing, not eating, drinking himself to death.”

Anna stopped walking, and pulled herself to stand in front of Sam, reaching up to place both her hands on his cheeks. She scanned his eyes, brushing her thumb across his lower eyelid to remove a stray tear that refused to fall, “But you…you have to take care of yourself. You have to talk to me. Let me take care of you. You do so much to make sure everyone is safe, and that I’m okay, and that I am sane, at the very least. Let me? Let me take care of you. Don’t shut me out. If you just want to lay in bed and be? We can do that. You want to break something? I’m sure Bobby wouldn’t mind, but let me help you through this. I’ve got you.”