supertinyking said
Which one?

NoahFire said
And because Im bored...Theres a dark room, completely made of metal. No or any means of escape besides a metal door with alot of locks and charms on it. In the room is a Man, Woman, And a Small Child. The small child is a girl, named Alex. Shes about 3 and has curly light brown hair, her eyes are a dark grey. Shes wearing a pair of shorts and a short sleeve shirt. The shirt is pink with a yellow buterfly in the middle. Shes not wearing shoes. The man is about 23. Hes tall, built like a tank. He has big mussles. He has a military cut, blond hair. hes wearing a purple and blue tye dye short sleeve shirt. His yes are a hazel color. Hes wearing a pair of jeans. He has no shoes on. The woman is 24. Shes short and looks weak and fragile. Shes wearing a pink tang top and light blue shorts. Her eyes are a light blue. Shes not wearing shoes. The room is dark, theres no light at all. The 3 people are chained to the walls, bound by theyre arms and legs. Suddenly theres 3 light blue lights in the middle of the room. In a few moments they shape into the ghosts of small children, one has no head, one has a missing eye. Theres 1 boy 2 girls. 1 girl whos head past her chin is gone. The other girl is missing her left eye. All 3 children have no toungs. The children look about 8 or 7. Elementy students. The girl with no eye floats over to the small child. A pair of blood soaked rusted sissors in her left hand. When the ghost reaches the girl she opens and closes the sissors near the small childs left eye. "Gihh it bac.... Gihh it bac.... GIHH E BAC MY EYE!" The ghost says as it shoves the sissors in the small childs left eye. The hild screams and howels in pain as she ghost ramms the sissors in her eye until the eye is nothing but a soup like substance. Blood runs down the girls body, the ghost girl gets a wicked smile as she shoves the sissors down the small childs throught. The child slowly drowns In her own blood. The entire time the parents are struggling and crying, despretly wantig the girl to stop harming their only child. The girl ghost dissaperes when the young girl dies. Her body hangs on the wall lifeless. But, theres a ray of hope. The boy ghost lets the woman go, the door opens. The woman runs to it happily. The husban is very over joyed that his wife is set free. But that hope quickly dies. The moment the woman is close to the door it turnes into a big pile of needles. The woman cant stop in time and is engulfed in the pile of needles. She screams in pain, only alowig needles into her mouth and down her throught. The woman dies slowly and painfully. The boy ghost giggles delighted. The husband is on the wall in tears. He has watched his wife and child killed painfully right in front of him. He dint want to live anymore. He wanted to die. The final ghost child walked up to the man with a scalpel in her hand. She slit the tendons in his feet, causing excrusiating pain for the man. The man is let off the wall, but he cannot move because of the tendons beig cut. He cries as she glances at his wife and child. The final ghost child leaves the man alone, in the dark. The only people around are his dead child and wife. He slowly and painfully dies. However, theyre spirits dont go to heaven nor hell. They roam the room they died in, feeling the pain of their deaths for eternity.

NoahFire said
And because Im bored...Theres a dark room, completely made of metal. No windows or any means of escape besides a metal door with alot of locks and charms on it. In the room is a Man, Woman, And a Small Child. The small child is a girl, named Alex. Shes about 3 and has curly light brown hair, her eyes are a dark grey. Shes wearing a pair of shorts and a short sleeve shirt. The shirt is pink with a yellow buterfly in the middle. Shes not wearing shoes. The man is about 23. Hes tall, built like a tank. He has big mussles. He has a military cut, blond hair. hes wearing a purple and blue tye dye short sleeve shirt. His yes are a hazel color. Hes wearing a pair of jeans. He has no shoes on. The woman is 24. Shes short and looks weak and fragile. Shes wearing a pink tang top and light blue shorts. Her eyes are a light blue. Shes not wearing shoes. The room is dark, theres no light at all. The 3 people are chained to the walls, bound by theyre arms and legs. Suddenly theres 3 light blue lights in the middle of the room. In a few moments they shape into the ghosts of small children, one has no head, one has a missing eye. Theres 1 boy 2 girls. 1 girl whos head past her chin is gone. The other girl is missing her left eye. All 3 children have no toungs. The children look about 8 or 7. Elementy students. The girl with no eye floats over to the small child. A pair of blood soaked rusted sissors in her left hand. When the ghost reaches the girl she opens and closes the sissors near the small childs left eye. "Gihh it bac.... Gihh it bac.... GIHH E BAC MY EYE!" The ghost says as it shoves the sissors in the small childs left eye. The hild screams and howels in pain as she ghost ramms the sissors in her eye until the eye is nothing but a soup like substance. Blood runs down the girls body, the ghost girl gets a wicked smile as she shoves the sissors down the small childs throught. The child slowly drowns In her own blood. The entire time the parents are struggling and crying, despretly wantig the girl to stop harming their only child. The girl ghost dissaperes when the young girl dies. Her body hangs on the wall lifeless. But, theres a ray of hope. The boy ghost lets the woman go, the door opens. The woman runs to it happily. The husban is very over joyed that his wife is set free. But that hope quickly dies. The moment the woman is close to the door it turnes into a big pile of needles. The woman cant stop in time and is engulfed in the pile of needles. She screams in pain, only alowig needles into her mouth and down her throught. The woman dies slowly and painfully. The boy ghost giggles delighted. The husband is on the wall in tears. He has watched his wife and child killed painfully right in front of him. He dint want to live anymore. He wanted to die. The final ghost child walked up to the man with a scalpel in her hand. She slit the tendons in his feet, causing excrusiating pain for the man. The man is let off the wall, but he cannot move because of the tendons beig cut. He cries as she glances at his wife and child. The final ghost child leaves the man alone, in the dark. The only people around are his dead child and wife. He slowly and painfully dies. However, theyre spirits dont go to heaven nor hell. They roam the room they died in, feeling the pain of their deaths for eternity.

thewizardguy said
Holy shit that was dark O_oI am severely impressed. You described them well, and the deaths were all cruel and torturous. I quite liked it. You're getting better at this.

CreedTheChimera said
((Zero is basically Creed reincarnated with the help of Zeref, darker skin and red hair))"The hell could that be?" Zero asks.

CreedTheChimera said
Anyone who'd kill others for no justifiable reason.

CreedTheChimera said
Anyone who'd kill others for no justifiable reason.

NoahFire said
Rate me outa 10

thewizardguy said
What's a justifiable reason?

CreedTheChimera said
8.5 very good.

Tyki said
is their livers tasting good a justifiable reason?

thewizardguy said
Exactly. This has been my idea, and nobody's been able to prove me wrong. We're all trying to do what we think is best. Some people are greedy, or selfish, or sadistic, but these things are a part of our nature. The world isn't a pool of black and white, just a massive grey area.

NoahFire said
Rate me outa 10

thewizardguy said
What's a justifiable reason?

thewizardguy said
Alright. But it'll be a fair rating.You lose 1 point for spelling. Sorry, I'm a grammar nazi like that.I like the story overall, but nothing is explained. It does well as a short story, but I prefer knowing WHY things are happening. Another 1/2 point.Your story structure is decent, but slightly off. This is a thing you can't help, and I'm not great at it either. Two points, as this is the most important part of the story.Overall, I give you a 6,5. Now that may seem low, but realize I'm comparing you to PROFFESIONAL WRITERS. And still you score higher than average.

CreedTheChimera said
Self-defense for one thing...

NoahFire said
Yay =3

supertinyking said
They are harming you, a loved one, or someone who doesn't diserve it for a faulty reason.