Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Nariata
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Nariata The Silent

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Iridious, welcome aboard.
Slim Shady, even though i hate the similarities with Revan, i will welcome you aboard.
ACCEPTED
Jasonhero, I hate to say this but i would like you to re-write your CS, It's not that it's written bad, it's just that it feels out of place in the scheme of things. You dont have to change everything, just add some continuity to it.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Slim Shady
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Now that I looked Revan up, I do see some similarities. Not intentional, I assure you. I just tried to make an original character and apparently failed epicly haha. Well, thanks for the acception :)
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by JessieTargaryen
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Nariata said
Iridious, welcome aboard. Slim Shady, even though i hate the similarities with Revan, i will welcome you aboard.Jasonhero, I hate to say this but i would like you to re-write your CS, It's not that it's written bad, it's just that it feels out of place in the scheme of things. You dont have to change everything, just add some continuity to it.


What exactly is out of place? So I can target that and fix it?
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Nariata
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Nariata The Silent

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Jasonhero said
What exactly is out of place? So I can target that and fix it?


The age in comparison for what he's accomplished for starters. This "One fateful day, a droid patrol led by some trandoshan mercs. Before the two could react, Jason's master was shot dead." When i read this i have a very hard time imagining what happened on that day, a key point in your characters history. The fact that he spent so much time with the commandos, never being sent back to the temple after being saved. How he still calls himself a Jedi even though he has not had any contact with the order in so long.

I want detail, i want to know what your characters been through. I want to have a feel for how your character will react to what is planned. A lot of your history leaves much to be desired, and i hope you can flesh out your character more. ;)

And Slim, he fits in the scheme of things ;)
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by DaDrummer676
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DaDrummer676

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I have a question about my clone. His history is obviously going to be lacking since you guys all know how clones were raised. I'm just going to talk about his special training with Alpha 17, and his battle experience.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Slim Shady
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Should I include my char's training and abilities?
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Yog Sothoth
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here's my CS

Name: Morrin Vulkas
Age: 23
Sex: male
Affiliation: Jedi
Physical Description:
[ignore the lightsabers, and that's what he looks like]

Mental Description:Morrin is very loyal and has a good heart. he is a great friend and will support those close to him as much as he can. do to the incident when he injured a fellow Padawan, Morrin has mental blocks which make him afraid to use his true power and he has grown to have a reluctance to use his force powers. all this is do to him being afraid of falling to the dark side.

History: Morrin was one of the few Togorians of the era to taken to Coruscant to be trained at the Jedi temple in the ways of the Jedi Order. from the day he began learning how to use his force power, he discovered that he had a very powerful connection to the force and was a protege in lightsaber combat. his main lightersaber forms were Niman and Djem-So. when he was a youngling, he was rash and arrogant, believing himself to be the greatest Padawan that the order had ever seen. his master warned him not to let that go to his head, but Morrin didn't listen.

one day when he was trying out some of the more complex force techniques, he got into an argument with one of the younglings and he lost his temper. in his anger, he struck out with the force and broke the Padawan's arm. Morrin was horrified at what he had done, and he became afraid that he was falling to dark side of the force. his fear made him reluctant to use his force powers in a powerful way, and his lightsaber training had become more of a way to defend himself rather than attack his opponents. his master tried to counsel him and told him that being afraid of his powers would hinder him in doing his duties as a Jedi Knight of the republic. now that the Separatist have made a strike against Coruscant with their vast armada, Morrin would have to figure out a way to move past his fears and break through his mental blocks in order to help save the Jedi and the republic from destruction.

Equipment: he has lightsaber with a standard hilt that has blade-guards and an electric blue blade.
Other:
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by JessieTargaryen
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Nariata said
The age in comparison for what he's accomplished for starters. This "One fateful day, a droid patrol led by some trandoshan mercs. Before the two could react, Jason's master was shot dead." When i read this i have a very hard time imagining what happened on that day, a key point in your characters history. The fact that he spent so much time with the commandos, never being sent back to the temple after being saved. How he still calls himself a Jedi even though he has not had any contact with the order in so long.I want detail, i want to know what your characters been through. I want to have a feel for how your character will react to what is planned. A lot of your history leaves much to be desired, and i hope you can flesh out your character more. ;)And Slim, he fits in the scheme of things ;)


Gotcha, I'll hop right on that
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Hillan
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Hillan I'm a writer - Lying's what we do.

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Added history.

Will polish the Sheet tomorrow, going to bed now. But nothing important will be changed, so judge away GM-Buddy.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by DaDrummer676
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I have another question. I want Spades to either work with a Jedi, or supervise a Padawan, either way it doesn't matter. Is anyone willing to have their character work with mine?
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Slim Shady
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I mean, I wouldn't mind. As long as Spades is alright with working with Ciale.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Yog Sothoth
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DaDrummer676 said
I have another question. I want Spades to either work with a Jedi, or supervise a Padawan, either way it doesn't matter. Is anyone willing to have their character work with mine?


i don't mind ether
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by JessieTargaryen
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I updated it
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by DaDrummer676
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DaDrummer676

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Yog I think I will have Spades work with Morrin, I have a feeling that Ciale will be dancing with the Dark Side. Also, who wouldn't want to fight along side a white tiger? XD
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Iridious
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Iridious Holy Diver

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Tsebar is not against having more partners, as long as they can deal with a big, scary lizard. :P
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Slim Shady
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I don't blame you. I mean, former Sith, big white lion. Not a hard choice. God, Ciale will be real lonely, everybody will hate him xD
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Yog Sothoth
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DaDrummer676 said
Yog I think I will have Spades work with Morrin, I have a feeling that Ciale will be dancing with the Dark Side. Also, who wouldn't want to fight along side a white tiger? XD


true lol I'm curious to see how the invasion will go. the cool thing is, because the CIS uses droids instead of people, it means that our characters can destroy them without having to feel remorse for taking life.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Slim Shady
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I have some pretty badass ways of killing drones... and since they have no souls Ciale can't get in trouble for being cruel to them. Loophole c:
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by shadowkiller912
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Well after looking at the current CS's, I'm going to revamp my character since we have no Sith characters.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Iridious
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Iridious Holy Diver

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Tsebar stands before a group of droids and tilts his head to the left, cracking his neck. "This one thinksss you should start running now..." he says with a toothy grin.

Cue the sounds of explosions, short circuiting electronics and twisting metal.
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