CLOWNQUEST

[Larfleeze]

>Activate 「TUSK ACT IV」 in order to attack Mike with your fingernails so that Infinite Rotation will consume him and cause him to spin infinitely, anchoring him to this ship forever in all realities.

[Pascha Pascha]

>be MIKE

[KnightShade]

>Open the oven, eat shitty pockets

[Intrepid]

>Read the motivational poster on the wall to boost my self esteem after getting bopped by Mike.

[Little Bill]

>be MIKE

@Pascha Pascha

Ваше имя МIKAEL. Вы находитесь на корабле собирается PLUTO, или, точнее, кухня на космическом корабле к PLUTO. Вы путешествуете с двумя лучшими друзьями, KOROVA и KARMANY. Что вы собираетесь делать, сучка?

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>Equip the dildo on the shelf

@Dinh AaronMk

>Use the dildo on the shelf to murder Mike.

@Shorticus

What? Nothing here but some RED SPICE, BROWN SPICE, STARCUCKS® COFFEE, SPACESPICE, PEPPER, AND AN EGGPLANT. And some RAT DROPPINGS, probably. Or just dots. Hard to tell.

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>Open the oven, eat shitty pockets

@KnightShade

Isn't that what FATTY is for?

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>Read the motivational poster on the wall to boost my self esteem after getting bopped by Mike.

@Intrepid

After a few moments of quiet introspection, you have successfully boosted your SELF ESTEEM.
What do you do?

[Shorticus]

>steal the eggplant

[VarionusNW]

>Switch MIKE's nose with the eggplant.

[Intrepid]

>Confidently tell MIKE we need to find FATTY. After all, we can't finish all these pockets ourselves.

[BrobyDDark]

>Tell Mike "нам нужно найти толстый и съесть его за опыт"

[Vilageidiotx]

>make ratatouille

[Little Bill]

>steal the eggplant

@Shorticus

SUCCESS. You have added the EGGPLANT to your INVENTORY. There is truly no happier a lad than you.

>Tell Mike "нам нужно найти толстый и съесть его за опыт"

@BrobyDDark

>Confidently tell MIKE we need to find FATTY. After all, we can't finish all these pockets ourselves.

@Intrepid

You and MIKE leave your cabin in search of your companion. Moments after leaving your room, you find yourself in a HALLWAY with two SPACEREFUGEES. They look confused, or perhaps frightened. Aside from them, there is also a SPACEWINDOW and a PLEASANT MOISTNESS to the air.
What do you do?

[Shorticus]

>win woman's love by trading eggplant for smoochies????

[BrobyDDark]

>They do not hold the nutrients necessary for levelling up. Ignore these peons and continue your search for Fatty.

[Vilageidiotx]

>use that fucking eggplant to make some fucking ratatouille.

[Zorogami]

>Come up with an improv skit to cheer up the couple

[Antarctic Termite]

>look out spacewindow to check how far off Pluto is, and/or identify any nearby aliens

[ClocktowerEchos]

>Plant a truly immovable rod-

*CLANG*

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

[Little Bill]

>look out spacewindow to check how far off Pluto is, and/or identify any nearby aliens

@Antarctic Termite

You get on MIKE's shoulders and press your clowny face up against the glass and peer out into the DIZZYING VOID that is SPACE. It gives you an UNFLATTERING DOUBLE CHIN. All you see are STARS and other CELESTIAL BODIES such as METEORS, GARBAGE, and probably SATURN. Or whichever one was small and white. Maybe not SATURN.
You continue to scan the spacescape, to no avail. You see a CONSTELLATION that reminds you of OJO.
It makes you miss Earth.

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>Come up with an improv skit to cheer up the couple

@Zorogami

>use that fucking eggplant to make some fucking ratatouille.

@Vilageidiotx

>win woman's love by trading eggplant for smoochies????

@Shorticus

Well, enough of those sentimental-woman feelings. You've got a FAT FUCKING CLOWN to save.
You have three ideas and try to pull a TRIPLE-BANGER SWITCHEROO and accomplish all three at once by making FLIRTATIOUS JOKES while vigorously TENDERIZING THE EGGPLANT with pelvic thrusts. Meanwhile, MIKE accompanies with a WELL-TIMED JOKE or something. You're not really sure.

They look unamused. Your TRIPLE-BANGER SWITCHEROO seems to be unsuccessful.
What do you do?

[Shorticus]

>Convert these bagel-eating people, as they were, into joining our glorious revolution

[Zorogami]

>throw the eggplant at the male