CLOWNQUEST

[Little Bill]

UPDATED HIDER

1. You are a clown sent on mankind's first pluto colonization mission to boost morale. With you are two other clowns, the ship's crew, and about five hundred passengers. The story starts off in your cabin.

2. As with any proper text-based adventure, things are seemingly randomly CAPITALIZED, and all actions are performed by commands. Each of your commands should be one action, like eat the sandwich instead of eat the sandwich and kill the guard.

3. Commands are chosen based on funniness, moving the plot, or how out of the box they are. Additionally, I usually try to use multiple commands in a post, so if you really want to be a part of this, try to pick something not totally out of left field that I can add to the other commands.

4. Every time I post, a turn has passed. You get one command per turn.

5. All commands are assumed to be for Pockets, unless they're specifically for other characters like MIKE: Eat the sandwich or GUARD: Accept bribe. Capisce?

6. The more you fuel my ego, the more posts we all get. Shower me in your compliments, laughs, buttpats, medals, erotic fanart, or whatever you have in your pockets.

Your name is POCKETS. You are currently hurtling through space at six thousand miles per hour with your oldest friends, MIKE and FATTY. Your mission is to raise morale with your ZANY CLOWN ANTICS. In the room, there is also a DOOR, a BEEPING NOISE and mysterious FLOATING LETTERS.

What do you do?

[Fabricant451]

Ponder what wrong choices I made in life that led to me becoming a clown.

[Vilageidiotx]

>Read floating letters in silly clown voice.

[Little Bill]

Ponder what wrong choices I made in life that led to me becoming a clown.

@Fabricant451

You try not to.

---

>Read floating letters in silly clown voice.

@Vilageidiotx

You look up, but the floating letters are gone. They must have left with the opening page. Ho Hum.
In their place you notice a PIPE that is steadily leaking on FATTY.
You do not pity him.

[Vilageidiotx]

>Equip pipe water

[Little Bill]

>Equip pipe water

@Vilageidiotx

FATTY, who is arguably your LEAST FAVORITE FRIEND, is in the way.
You should steal his hat.

[Vilageidiotx]

>Equip Fatty

[Dinh AaronMk]

>Summon pegaclown

[Little Bill]

>Equip Fatty

@Vilageidiotx

>Summon pegaclown

@Dinh AaronMk

Your strength and chucklevoodoo levels are both far too low for either of these to be remotely feasible. Besides, you are too distracted by your DEEP, PRIMAL URGE to wear the hat of FATTY. Something about it calls to you, as if it were perfectly sculpted to cradle your skull. Besides, you would look better in it than FATTY. You give in and pluck the cap right off of him, and don the FATHAT.


Your homie MIKE informs you of a situation in the EAST. Good looks, bro. You make a mental note to give MIKE a promotion one day, and perhaps gift him the FATHAT. Then again, as you assumed, it looks great on you.

What do you do?

[KnightShade]

>Beat fatty till he's nothing more than a purple and red high lipid pulp.

[Marik]

>Swagger over to the east with your homie Mike like the pimp you are.

[Antarctic Termite]

>Mike's hat doesn't look too bad either. Steal that too and wear both hats.

[Unfortunately]

>Examine weird grey spray-painted pixely shit on the round thingy to the right.

[Shorticus]

>Take MIKE's cane.

[RWDS]

>Summon Donald Trump

[BrobyDDark]

>realize that you could easily skip this spaceship nonsense by tearing this scene in half. But what does that imply? Perhaps it shows you how flimsy your reality truly is? How fucking meaningless your silly squabbles with the fatclown are. OH how terrible is a void of substance to a clown such as ye! OH how pointless your shenanigans have become!

>honk Mike's nose

[Dinh AaronMk]

>Open the manual menus to check out to train chucklevoodoo

[Little Bill]

>realize that you could easily skip this spaceship nonsense by tearing this scene in half. But what does that imply? Perhaps it shows you how flimsy your reality truly is? How fucking meaningless your silly squabbles with the fatclown are. OH how terrible is a void of substance to a clown such as ye! OH how pointless your shenanigans have become!

@BrobyDDark

You suffer a BRIEF EXISTENTIAL CRISIS and lose TWO HITPOINTS out of ennui. You decide to reaffirm your existence by taking another bold move.

---

>honk Mike's nose

@BrobyDDark

>Take MIKE's cane.

@Shorticus

>Beat fatty till he's nothing more than a purple and red high lipid pulp.

@KnightShade

>Mike's hat doesn't look too bad either. Steal that too and wear both hats.

@Antarctic Termite

MIKE gives you a much-deserved BOP for this. You have lost ONE HITPOINT and you're not even on PLUTO. You are truly the SPACEMIKE TYSON of losing fights. Which is to say you suck. Speaking of people named Michael, you should probably see what MIKE was talking about.

---

>Swagger over to the east with your homie Mike like the pimp you are.

@Marik

HOOYAH. That is what you are TALKING about. You and your companion MIKE head to your cabin's EASTERN PORT. You hear FATTY scamper off elsewhere. The EASTERN PORT primarily serves as your Y-shaped lodging's kitchen. In it are several items, such as a SPACEWINDOW, REFRIGERATOR, SPACESPICES, a poster brought by MIKE and an OVEN, where you now remember you have left some BAGELSNAX™. Silly POCKETS.

[Dinh AaronMk]

>Equip the dildo on the shelf

[Shorticus]

>Use the dildo on the shelf to murder Mike.