@LadyRunic@Prince of Seraphs Whoa, okay. So the only ones that could use a full-iron blade would be a full-human, or one of the races of fey that are specifically able to handle true iron. But having such a blade would make any fey in the area that is /not/ of said species feel unwell -- and iron itself is probably closely regulated.
I suppose I can see something in the forging process dampening the iron to get rid of that radiation poisoning effect. That would explain why fey can tolerate having flecked or edged blades around. And while edged blades would indeed be more dangerous to someone cut with them, I think flecked blades would be harder to handle in general, as the iron is throughout the metal, so touching any of the blade would mean contact with iron.
If iron-edged blades are indeed rare (and thus valuable), Duska would have given her blade to Sini, instead of the captain following her. The captain can get his own enhanced sword. Sini's second sword would be a normal one.
@LadyRunic >she will thank you >after she curses you Assuming, of course, that she sees it that way, and not as a fey being selfish and basically taking advantage of her for years and years, without her having any say nor even enough knowledge to do so. I could see Lyra forgiving Feoras...and I could see it going very poorly and her never forgiving him ever. *amused* It will be fun to see how that plays out, especially as I imagine it depends on who gets to her, and how aging her up is handled.
In the Winter Court iron is mined by the gremlins as they are the only ones who can touch it without harm. Arys has a stockpile of iron for trade and in case there is an attack made on her the gremlins of her realm have iron weapons they forged for themselves. They are too loyal to use it against their Queen.
I approve of the Winter Knight. As for what he failed at she might feel like he failed at protecting her from Feoras. Feoras and Arys were seeing each other right after she became queen, but it didn't last long. There was no war, but Summer and Winter have had no trade agreement since that time. And now that she is feeling conflicted and scared Arys would have a good reason to release her knight from the dungeon to be back at her side.
In the Winter Court iron is mined by the goblins as they are the only ones who can touch it without harm. Arys has a stockpile of iron for trade and in case there is an attack made on her the goblins of her realm have iron weapons they forged for themselves. They are too loyal to use it against their Queen.
I approve of the Winter Knight. As for what he failed at she might feel like he failed at protecting her from Feoras. Feoras and Arys were seeing each other right after she became queen, but it didn't last long. There was no war, but Summer and Winter have had no trade agreement since that time. And now that she is feeling conflicted and scared Arys would have a good reason to release her knight from the dungeon to be back at her side.
So he's been down there for 400 years or so? Damn, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, which she delivers on anyone in the immediate vicinity.
@Prince of Seraphs like I say in my Jungle Cruise spiel : *points at elephant* "That there is Molly, an African elephant and the most dangerous animal in the jungle... a female."
@Belle Hm, interesting. You should speak with @TemplarKnight07 about details -- he currently has it listed that Dagon attacked a guest, and that's why he's imprisoned. Then again, if he's only been her knight for 20-50 years and imprisoned for the rest, she might not value him that highly -- it's not very long, among the fey. Of course, that's assuming that @Prince of Seraphs has the correct figure for when Arys and Feoras had their falling out -- about 100 years into her reign. You didn't state anything specific, but the way you proposed, the longer they lasted, the longer Dagon was her knight, and the longer he had to prove his complete loyalty.
However, Belle, if the gremlins use iron weapons to defend her, that assumes that there's enough iron to arm most of them and supply whoever she trades it to, if any. Is Winter the only source of iron, or just has the best sources? If it's the only one...jeez that's a serious advantage, and weighs a lot of things heavily in Winter's favor, if there ever /is/ a war. Just let the goblins gremlins loose! It also means that letting Falk ally with Arys is an even bigger risk, considering his general scheming. Also it assumes that she can tolerate being in the same place as said iron while they're using it, unless you mean iron-flecked blades -- that actually makes more more sense, so I'm guessing I misunderstood. It's also interesting to consider how the gremlins handle changes in rulers, or in-court quarrels over succession. Not to mention one wonders why (if Winter /was/ the main source of iron) they ever gave any of it away. Though I suppose other courts could have refused to trade unless they were given iron...yay intrigue.
It's interesting that Summer and Winter never had a true war, and not the impression I got from @LadyRunic's opening pieces. I know I referenced fighting between the two in one of my posts, going off her statement that there have been skirmishes and only for the moot has an uneasy truce been declared, as well as a few other statements I'd need to reread to locate. I might need to change some things in the way I've been thinking and planning, if that's how we're playing it. *toys with new ideas*
There finished my initial version of my "Fairy-Seeker" character, though I am still wondering on how specifically to edit my Winter Knight to make his situation more in-line.
Name: Gideon Morgan Armstrong Alias: Gideon Race: Human Court: Not aligned Position/Occupation: Student, Avid Fantasy reader and gamer, and a seeker of occult/supernatural knowledge (Actual) Age: 16 Personality: Shy and introverted, Gideon grew up with not having many friends in school and bullied for his "unusual" hobbies for his age, and has ended up lacking in terms of social skills and with few friends outside of a close circle of fellow hobbyists. He likes to over-analyze situations, especially when nervous, falling back on his substantial intellect (for his age) and exceptional memory to recall what others would see as useless or irrelevant information, yet completely forget important dates or events simply because he finds most human social interaction boring. He possesses a curious mind in spite of his social anxieties though, and always loves to learn something new or forgotten by most others. Appearance: Weighing only at 120 lbs, Gideon is a scrawny but not necessarily weak individual, with muscles that lacked definition and a thin frame. His skin slightly more pale than normal due to prolonged periods inside, and having a full head of slightly messy unbrushed brown hair, but always washed and never below his shoulders in length. He has some freckles on his face and a few scars on his face from previous acne, though unlike many other nerds, he was fortunate enough to have been born with naturally straight teeth and no need for glasses. He normally wears jeans, running shoes, and related t-shirt of one of the various fantasy series he was an avid fan of. In short, he's an almost entirely average teenage nerd. Family: Christopher and Mary Armstrong (Parents) Ambition: (Goal) To become a Magician, or at the very least prove for himself that magic and the supernatural were real. Background: Gideon has grown up feeling not in place with his own world, or at the very least that his world was perhaps the most boring one he could have been born in. Obsessed with fantasy books and stories of all kinds since he was young, his love of fantasy turned into a love of the supernatural as he grew up. A believer in magic, but lacking the ability or even the proper knowledge to even test if he has any ability, he hunted through his local libraries and browsed the web for any accounts of magic or the supernatural, and how exactly magic was believed to have come from.
Though the majority of the fictitious and scary stories dealt with people making deals with malevolent demons and ultimately losing their souls in exchange for their powers, he did find accounts of slightly more benevolent beings, Faeries, or The Fae or Sidhe as he came to know them as he dug through more "true" accounts.
Though many of the stories and accounts were fragmented, had crappy translations, or were in some cases just complete bullshit, he did manage to discern several important aspects about the Fae. One, that they were incredibly varied in personality within their seasonal courts (though his knowledge only extended to the Summer and Winter dichotomy, as humans in their simplistic interpretations mostly just lumped Spring with Summer and Fall with Winter) leading to Fae that were potentially both benevolent and malevolent in their own abstract ways. Two, most of them feared iron, especially cold iron as it apparently was more deadly to them than magic, with even small amounts causing them great pain and had been used in the past to ward off Fae Folk (Gideon reflected that this explained why iron probably gained more prevalence in antiquity as a human tool and why the Fae hadn't just conquered their world forcibly). Three, some Fae loved word games and riddles as tests of intellect could be just as serious duels as ones with swords, and that words held great power among the Fae, that promises and wishes had to be abided at the peril of the one making them. And lastly, four, that there were ways for the Fae to enter the human world, and for humans to enter the Fae World, even though most encounters involved child snatchers with both benevolent and malevolent Fae stealing away Children to make them into Changelings or other "monstrosities", there were others of Faeries of different kinds falling in love with humans to various effects, and of ancient sages communicating with the Fae or entering their world to do so through ritual.
Such knowledge was accumulated over a couple years of increasingly interested study in between homework and scheduled events. Eventually Gideon decided that he should try actually looking around for Fae, when what he saw as a major problem dawned on him: he lived in Canada! Almost all of the recorded accounts of Fae he could get his hands on dated back to Europe, where the ancient Celts and Druid cults among others had worshipped the Fae as deities and stones and forests older than most human civilizations resided. Though he didn't see any reason why Fae would be limited to Europe in this modern age or even back then, he still had zero frames of reference to go on in terms of where to look, given that local mythologies were all Native American in origins, attributing misgivings to their own supernatural entities. So, barring a chance encounter with a Fae, Gideon decided he would try to figure out how to perform a ritual to open a way into their world, and so set out to find what he thought was a suitable place, get the right materials and information (or as right as he could find), and setup for the appropriate time.
Gideon eventually got to the point where he stopped telling anyone about his pursuits, as he would usually get one of three reactions: chiding comments about how foolish and childish he was to believe in Faeries and Magic, odd looks based on those same sentiments, or being teased and bullied as a "Faerie-boy" or "Faerie-Seeker". To save himself the bother, he merely kept his secrets and worked to gather materials and knowledge as he could in his spare time.
Eventually, he reached a point just after his sixteenth birthday where he felt he was ready to try and attempt the ritual. He had learned and memorized some basic Gaelic incantations, managed to scrap together some arcane symbols and designs that replicated the far older arcane geometry of the standing stones, and he had spent several months meticulously setting up an ad hoc ring of standing stones within an old growth forest fairly close to his home and quite secluded. He had spent a huge amount of time ensuring the mathematics and measures were precise, he was smart enough to know how potentially dangerous this ritual was even if everything went right, he was terrified of what would happen if he did it wrong.
For the timing, he settled on May 1st, the day of the ancient celtic holiday of Beltane, which traditionally marked the first days of summer, hoping that the official transition may increase his chances of actually ending up somewhere in the Faerie world that wouldn't eat him right away or freeze him to death. He packed some provisions, a couple water bottles, some fruit and non-perishable snacks, his diary, a compass, plenty of implements to draw or write, and an old pocket watch. Out of caution, he also brought along a pack of iron nails, as nowadays its almost impossible to actually buy an iron sword, let alone be able to have such a weapon as a 16 year old, but knew it would be foolish to not bring something along to protect himself.
At mid-day, leaving his parents on the premise of going on a hike that would take him into lunch and be back before dinner, he performed the ritual he had been preparing for some time, intoning the ancient words thought to have been spoken by sages and druids long-dead, and putting his will and belief behind his actions. For a few moments, nothing happened, until ever so gently as if a curtain were peeling back, a door-way sized portal opened up between the two stones he had marked for just such a purpose. Unwilling to believe even his own eyes, but even more worried that the portal wouldn't stay long, he hurried through, hoping that his preparations had actually had an effect and he was not just going to leap into a monster's maw.
There's a few things I wanted to ask about. I'm just going to go through it piece by piece, it is the easiest way to keep things straight in my head. Not all of it will be strictly relevant to actually having the character accepted as that is LadyRunic's department but most of it would probably be good to think over just so the details look right.
Though the majority of the fictitious and scary stories dealt with people making deals with malevolent demons and ultimately losing their souls in exchange for their powers, he did find accounts of slightly more benevolent beings, Faeries, or The Fae or Sidhe as he came to know them as he dug through more "true" accounts.
This isn't really so much a grievance as a note about the character but by whatever criteria he discerns accounts to be "true" or not there should by the nature of the fae be just as many accounts of people losing everything to their faerie deal as there are accounts of them getting what they want from good natured fae.
Though many of the stories and accounts were fragmented, had crappy translations, or were in some cases just complete bullshit, he did manage to discern several important aspects about the Fae. One, that they were incredibly varied in personality within their seasonal courts (though his knowledge only extended to the Summer and Winter dichotomy, as humans in their simplistic interpretations mostly just lumped Spring with Summer and Fall with Winter) leading to Fae that were potentially both benevolent and malevolent in their own abstract ways. Two, most of them feared iron, especially cold iron as it apparently was more deadly to them than magic, with even small amounts causing them great pain and had been used in the past to ward off Fae Folk (Gideon reflected that this explained why iron probably gained more prevalence in antiquity as a human tool and why the Fae hadn't just conquered their world forcibly). Three, some Fae loved word games and riddles as tests of intellect could be just as serious duels as ones with swords, and that words held great power among the Fae, that promises and wishes had to be abided at the peril of the one making them. And lastly, four, that there were ways for the Fae to enter the human world, and for humans to enter the Fae World, even though most encounters involved child snatchers with both benevolent and malevolent Fae stealing away Children to make them into Changelings or other "monstrosities", there were others of Faeries of different kinds falling in love with humans to various effects, and of ancient sages communicating with the Fae or entering their world to do so through ritual.
Assuming that whatever information available about the fae rivals that of what is on our own internet the fact that he could get all of these points exactly right seems rather unlikely. If you couldn't tell by me being here I'm rather a fan of ancient folklore.
Your points essentially boil down to this: One: Fae reside in two Courts, Winter and Summer, Summer is kind, Winter is vicious. Two: Fae fear iron. Three: Words hold special power in the land of Faerie. Four: Humans and Fae can cross into the other's world.
I'll grant you that these are all very common interpretations but they are far from the only common themes and a thousand and one variations of these themes exist through folklore, games, novels, legends and so forth. The idea of separate courts ranging from the names to temperament of fae that live there, the effects iron actually has on a fae etc. My point is that Gideon is a high school student. You have yourself said that he does his research between "homework and scheduled events" which means outside of faerie research time he has a life that takes up a good portion of his time and given that he has a life he's not traipsing around various areas looking for fae or interviewing locals about anything so his research basically boils down to the internet. With that as his only source being able to say with confidence "this is true and this is false about the fae" makes him either very arrogant or have incredible tunnel vision regarding his research. You can find sites that say fae live in four courts, in two, some that say the Seelie and Unseelie courts are a figment of human imagination and the fae live together as a single people. Some sources that say iron burns them to the touch, others that they cannot cross an iron barrier such as a fence or even a train track. There's theories regarding salt, leaving gifts for the fae in exchange for favors. Throughout history the fae have gone from deities to sprites to spirits to ghosts to mischief makers to demons to monsters and back again.
My point is that with a nearly limitless supply of information all of which from one source or anything contradicts itself at least a hundred times how can Gideon be so certain about these specific points regarding fae culture and nature?
Eventually, he reached a point just after his sixteenth birthday where he felt he was ready to try and attempt the ritual. He had learned and memorized some basic Gaelic incantations, managed to scrap together some arcane symbols and designs that replicated the far older arcane geometry of the standing stones, and he had spent several months meticulously setting up an ad hoc ring of standing stones within an old growth forest fairly close to his home and quite secluded. He had spent a huge amount of time ensuring the mathematics and measures were precise, he was smart enough to know how potentially dangerous this ritual was even if everything went right, he was terrified of what would happen if he did it wrong.
My above point about this stands as the chances of him pulling the correct ritual out of what must be sixty five billion different recipes from various sources is very coincidental but my real question is this.
Now @LadyRunic if you could weight in here cause I'm going into an area of lore that is a bit sketchy but I'll give it by best shot. If I am wrong about this let me know. I believe though that magic performed by mortals who haven't been gifted it by the fae is incredibly unlikely to the point of none existence. Most rituals of ancient times that the pagans used to open gates to the fae world more likely were simply messages to the other side altering a specific fae that they were asking for his or her help and if the fae was in a good mood he would open the portal himself. That or else they cracked open already existing tears between the two realms, just widening them to the point where anyone could walk through rather than one person simply falling through by accident and that particular tear never being found again. It would be the same reason fae gates were built where they were, Stone Henge, Avalon, etc, they simply stabilized and amplified a weakness in the veil between world already present. Otherwise as I have to assume Gideon is not the only fae fanatic in the world everyone would be trying to this and because in your version it seems to take no special skill, specific placement or consent from the other side thousands of humans would be pouring into faerie monthly.
@Prince of Seraphs According to @LadyRunic, humans have zero magic, and even those with changelings in their past don't have it active until they've been to the fey realm /and/ had something done to unlock it. It's why Max doesn't yet have healing magic of his own. As for humans being granted magic by the fey, I'm not clear on if that's doable, but I am curious how our lovely leader shall weigh in.
I'm waffling over any other commentary as I have feedback but it's not my department and I made people angry last time I started suggesting changes. ...Both last times, actually. <.<;;
There's a few things I wanted to ask about. I'm just going to go through it piece by piece, it is the easiest way to keep things straight in my head. Not all of it will be strictly relevant to actually having the character accepted as that is LadyRunic's department but most of it would probably be good to think over just so the details look right.
<Snipped quote>
This isn't really so much a grievance as a note about the character but by whatever criteria he discerns accounts to be "true" or not there should by the nature of the fae be just as many accounts of people losing everything to their faerie deal as there are accounts of them getting what they want from good natured fae.
<Snipped quote>
Assuming that whatever information available about the fae rivals that of what is on our own internet the fact that he could get all of these points exactly right seems rather unlikely. If you couldn't tell by me being here I'm rather a fan of ancient folklore.
Your points essentially boil down to this: One: Fae reside in two Courts, Winter and Summer, Summer is kind, Winter is vicious. Two: Fae fear iron. Three: Words hold special power in the land of Faerie. Four: Humans and Fae can cross into the other's world.
I'll grant you that these are all very common interpretations but they are far from the only common themes and a thousand and one variations of these themes exist through folklore, games, novels, legends and so forth. The idea of separate courts ranging from the names to temperament of fae that live there, the effects iron actually has on a fae etc. My point is that Gideon is a high school student. You have yourself said that he does his research between "homework and scheduled events" which means outside of faerie research time he has a life that takes up a good portion of his time and given that he has a life he's not traipsing around various areas looking for fae or interviewing locals about anything so his research basically boils down to the internet. With that as his only source being able to say with confidence "this is true and this is false about the fae" makes him either very arrogant or have incredible tunnel vision regarding his research. You can find sites that say fae live in four courts, in two, some that say the Seelie and Unseelie courts are a figment of human imagination and the fae live together as a single people. Some sources that say iron burns them to the touch, others that they cannot cross an iron barrier such as a fence or even a train track. There's theories regarding salt, leaving gifts for the fae in exchange for favors. Throughout history the fae have gone from deities to sprites to spirits to ghosts to mischief makers to demons to monsters and back again.
My point is that with a nearly limitless supply of information all of which from one source or anything contradicts itself at least a hundred times how can Gideon be so certain about these specific points regarding fae culture and nature?
<Snipped quote>
My above point about this stands as the chances of him pulling the correct ritual out of what must be sixty five billion different recipes from various sources is very coincidental but my real question is this.
Now @LadyRunic if you could weight in here cause I'm going into an area of lore that is a bit sketchy but I'll give it by best shot. If I am wrong about this let me know. I believe though that magic performed by mortals who haven't been gifted it by the fae is incredibly unlikely to the point of none existence. Most rituals of ancient times that the pagans used to open gates to the fae world more likely were simply messages to the other side altering a specific fae that they were asking for his or her help and if the fae was in a good mood he would open the portal himself. That or else they cracked open already existing tears between the two realms, just widening them to the point where anyone could walk through rather than one person simply falling through by accident and that particular tear never being found again. It would be the same reason fae gates were built where they were, Stone Henge, Avalon, etc, they simply stabilized and amplified a weakness in the veil between world already present. Otherwise as I have to assume Gideon is not the only fae fanatic in the world everyone would be trying to this and because in your version it seems to take no special skill, specific placement or consent from the other side thousands of humans would be pouring into faerie monthly.
I mean, of course its what he "thinks" is true, not precisely what he knows to be true, he's never actually encountered any Fae to be able to see what the actual facts are. He doesn't know for certain, nor does he think anyone really knows given how varied the interpretations he has found are. He's mostly looked for a few things he sees as being consistent across some accounts, since the reasoning would be that if he can trace something across multiple accounts, its more likely to be true. At the same time, this is all under the premise that Faeries of any kind are regarded as non-existent by most humans, many accounts and depictions are not of actual Fae, others are either highly degraded and bastardized or culturally morphed interpretations, and by the fact that his own research couldn't possibly encapsulate every last account across every last culture that has ever met a Fae. Plus the fact that search algorithms can fuck up what interpretations you see anyway.
Although I probably could list a couple of what he thinks are major authorities on the subject. Doesn't mean they actually are, many of them may just appear convincing.
But its the fact that he hasn't managed to see all of the various interpretations that he's actually able to try and build a few basic ideas. He's certainly got very large gaps in his knowledge, and his ideas are extremely basic, but he feels confident he has an grasp of them because he's happened to find a few things he sees as consistent.
I'd most definitely call it youthful arrogance borne of partial ignorance. If he actually knew the full picture, he'd know damn well not try and pull a stunt like trying to enter into the Fae world to begin with. Its the same arrogance that characters like Faust have when they think they can cheat the Devil, or when Lovecraftian characters have no clue about the horrifying universe around them. If they knew the trouble they were getting into, they'd never have looked for it in the first place.
As for the ritual, I'm open to changing it. I was working with the assumption that ritual magic doesn't necessarily require any great magical talent, merely very focused intent and some proper ceremony, symbolism, and actions. He's basing the idea off of the theory that Stonehenge was built as a gateway of sorts between the natural and supernatural (Stonehenge being one of the largest and most well-known ancient monuments in the Celtic world, assumed to have magical or ritual significance by some theorists, and Celtic cultures and their descendents being the more popularly associated cultures with Faeries, he's drawing upon those assumptions). I could change it so that instead of opening a portal as he had intended, he merely called up a Faerie of some sort, though what would happen after that IDK.
I could change it so that instead of opening a portal as he had intended, he merely called up a Faerie of some sort,
First off. The Portals... Their not so much portals as gaps between Realms of Fae and Mortal. They can exist almost anywhere with a lack of iron in the area. Parks, forests, old town streets/alleyways (though these are not so common), mountains, wilderness, lakes, beaches. Fae such as kelpies and selkies use the very ocean as a gate but that's something else altoeghter and part of their Fae Natures.
Second Summoning up Fae. You cannot do this unless you know their name in full. Names have power, yes. The full name most of all. It's why many Fae go by a alias and only trade off pieces of their name.
Third off. Humans have no magic whatsoever. If it was gifted to them by a Fae... It would have to happen in Rp. The fae don't GO to the Mortal Realm often or much. And they especially don't do that since the world has been taken from them and given over to Iron. Rituals, magic, sure go ahead and try. But nothing will happen, because you're off your rocker.
Don't mean to be sharp, but where in the name of the Gods does it say humans may have magic, so that I may fix that immediately. And sorry for not being about last night I had a D&D session.
Edit: Fuck the Faust bit, I just caught Runic's reply.
Alright, then in regards to those tears/gaps. Do they have any checks? Or are some capable of stumbling through without a person necessarily noticing they passed through? I mean that was the impression I got with the people vanishing bit. Other than actually being taken by the Fae.
@LadyRunic Hope you had fun at D&D! Which version?
It doesn't say humans have no magic at all -- but I don't believe it specifically says they don't, either, unless you read the entire discussion on the OOC. A question, by the way. Those portals aren't always open, right?
I think that if Gideon is going off research in the modern era, he should have some mistaken beliefs specified as well as accurate ones. Something significant, that will cause him as much trouble as the knowledge of words and iron will help him. He'd have arrived at these conclusions the same as he arrived at his other conclusions, but this would reflect clearly the lack of accurate information. He's using only his sense of what's true, and fey do not fit in the reality of the human world.
...and crud, now I wanna play with the idea of someone who believes in fey, but also in all manner of /other/ things. Like, say, ghosts. And they figure the best way to bring a dead person back is via the fey and their magic, because there's bound to be some that have that ability, right? x.x
Ooh, an idea~ @TemplarKnight07, to avoid needing magic to get there, he could have gone to one of the most famous magical sites. Or possibly several, on a trip across Europe. And he gets to Stonehedge, and -- it's open! Maybe the rulers just left, or at least it wasn't too many hours before, or maybe it's the right time of day. The witching hour might work (think that's midnight?) The reason he didn't go sooner could be because he's had to save to afford the trip, plus he wasn't old enough to travel overseas alone. ...Might need to be a little older for that to work, actually, or perhaps he lives in England but didn't feel ready for a trip until recently. It is a big step, and best to be fully prepared if you encounter unfriendly creatures.
@shylarah Wasn't D&D per say. A Homebrew system. we just say Dm does all rolls.
A question, by the way. Those portals aren't always open, right?
No, It's like the weather. They open and close depending on unknown reasons, some stay open all the time. Others don't.
Ooh, an idea~ @TemplarKnight07, to avoid needing magic to get there, he could have gone to one of the most famous magical sites. Or possibly several, on a trip across Europe. And he gets to Stonehedge, and -- it's open! Maybe the rulers just left, or at least it wasn't too many hours before, or maybe it's the right time of day. The witching hour might work (think that's midnight?) The reason he didn't go sooner could be because he's had to save to afford the trip, plus he wasn't old enough to travel overseas alone. ...Might need to be a little older for that to work, actually, or perhaps he lives in England but didn't feel ready for a trip until recently. It is a big step, and best to be fully prepared if you encounter unfriendly creatures.
Is rolling eyes. Go to the Loch Ness, and drown.
Trust me. Those who 'drown' don't drown. There's a gate there that is open all the time and Nessy is essentially the Ferry Man. However, she's a bit dim.