A GROWING PROBLEM – PART VI awaken to a constricting feeling across my arms and legs. I’m foggy and disoriented, can barely remember how I got here. Wait, no. I
do remember. I was fighting that Foliage kid, and he overwhelmed me with those vines of his. I was pinned to the ground, and then he sprayed me with some kind of flower… I open my eyes. My body is wrapped in vines from the shoulders down. They move and throb like little green snakes. I look up and see that I’m suspended from the field goal posts, just as that football player was.
Foliage descends on an oversized leaf, looking smug as ever. “I warned you not to cross me, bug. Now, you’ll share
his fate,” he says as he nods in the direction of the opposite field goal post, where the aforementioned football player is still dangling.
“What are you going to do, Foliage? Pollinate us to death?” I shout back with as much bravado as I can muster. Truth be told, my first “supervillain” fight isn’t going so well for me.
Foliage smirks. “Not quite.” He holds his hands out in front of himself and closes his eyes. The ground beneath the football field begins to shake, and I catch the entangled football player giving me a nervous glance. A big red plant bursts from beneath the soil. It’s easily two stories tall. The plant is cylindrical with a large opening at the top. It looks like a rolled leaf that sealed itself shut at the seam.
“Carnivorous plants are fascinating, don’t you think?” Foliage asks loudly, making sure both of us can here. He waves to the big red plant currently occupying midfield. “Take this pitcher plant, for instance. It evolved for habitats in which the soil lacked the necessary nutrients for survival and was forced to find those nutrients elsewhere.” Foliage lowers himself to the plant’s side, pressing a hand to its outer surface. “The inside of the leaf is coated with a waxy lining which ensures that its prey cannot simply climb out. Eventually, the prey succumbs to fatigue and falls to the base of the pitcher, where a pool of digestive enzymes does the rest.”
I call back, “Jabba, this is your last chance! Free us… or die.”
Foliage looks at me, bewildered. “What?”
“Oh, come on, man. No love for
Return of the Jedi? I mean, I know
Empire’s the superior film, but—“
“Shut up!” Foliage barks. The vines around my body constrict. “It’s time to end this!”
I begin to feel myself moving towards the pitcher plant. Foliage’s vines are willing me forward. My exoskeletal blades extend slowly through the thicket surrounding my body. I can hardly move, so I twist and turn as much as I can. The blades slowly begin to cut into the vines, but I’m not sure I’ll free myself in time. I can see over the mouth of the pitcher, down to the bubbling pool of digestive fluids waiting at the bottom. Once I’ve made some headway, I begin to slice faster. Finally, I feel the vines go
just limp enough, and not a moment too soon.
I burst through Foliage’s ensnarement and somersault over the pitcher plant. I hit the turf with a roll, and Foliage is on top of me in an instant. He calls forth a veritable forest of vines, branches, leaves, and thorns. I’ll never be able to cut my way through. He’s too smart and too well-defended to let me get close.
Okay, Sean, think, I coach myself. That’s when it hits me. The way he winces and flinches whenever I take out one of his plants. He must be able to feel their pain somehow.
I begin hopping and scaling up the bleachers to avoid Foliage’s onslaught. So, Foliage is somehow in tune with his plants. If I can cause them enough suffering, he’ll be too distracted to put up his defenses. From there, all I need is one clean shot at the man himself. But how do I harm the plants?
What kills plants? I ask myself. Fire, but that’s too risky. If I lost control of it, I’d risk doing more harm than good. On the other hand, if I could freeze them…
Liquid nitrogen. I know for a fact that chemistry lab has some. My professor brought it out last semester for a demonstration. He froze a rubber band and dropped it to the floor, where it shattered into a million little pieces. If I can break away from Foliage long enough to get to the science building and find a canister, I can put an end to this madness. But first, I have to rescue this football player. It wouldn’t do to leave him alone like this.
I hop across the field, narrowly dodging a thorny branch and some razor sharp leaves. Blades extended, I leap towards the field goal posts. I crash into the football player, and my blades slice through the vines keeping him suspended. We begin to tumble towards the seats. I spin us both around so that I’m falling first, and I raise my armor just in time. My back slams into the seats behind the end zone, the force of impact being displaced across the hard exoskeletal plates.
“Thanks,” the football player says breathlessly as he shrugs off the withering vines around his torso. I see a branch rise up behind him.
“Don’t thank me yet!” I grab onto his shoulder and spin us both out of the branch’s path. Clamoring to my feet, I keep my grip on the football player as I tug him forward. “Let’s move!” Foliage’s plants are literally nipping at our heels as we scramble up the bleachers towards the top of the stadium. We finally reach the top, and all of campus is sprawled out before us.
The football turns to me. “What now?” he asks, exasperated.
I glance over my shoulder. Foliage is gaining ground, his nasty little plants in tow. “Now, we jump,” I answer. I grab onto the football player around the waist with one arm as I push off with as much strength as I can muster. We clear the quad next to the stadium in one jump, landing somewhat softly on the grass a good distance away. I turn to the football player. “You know, you’re a far cry from the ‘damsels in distress’ that I usually save. Go run and find somewhere safe.”
“There’s nowhere you can run, Mantis!” Foliage shouts. He steps off his leaf onto the leaf of a beanstalk waiting outside the stadium. “I’ll turn this whole campus against you, root to stem!”
“Only if you catch me first!” I call back.
Before Foliage can accept my challenge, I begin my mad dash for the sciences building. Luckily, it isn’t far from here. As I’m running, Foliage calls up all manners of snares and traps from the dirt to try and stop me. It’s an exercise in reflexes that keeps me going. I begin running on the side of a building, hearing the sound of smashing glass to signify that Foliage’s pets are right on my tail. Finally, the science building is in sight. I make the jump across the quad, landing near a second story window. The chemistry lab is on the third floor.
The building begins to shake, and I look down to see the greenhouse below erupt into a maelstrom of whipping vines. The plants begin shooting up the side of the building with alarming speed. “Geez! I had heard of the
Ivy League, but this is ridiculous!” With my hands planted firmly against the brick face of the building, I swing my legs back and upwards, letting the momentum carry me through a third story window feet first.
I land inside an empty classroom moments before the window to my left explodes as vines burst through. In close quarters like this, I’m toast if I let Foliage pin me down. I begin ducking and weaving through the vines, occasionally getting tripped up. Another blitz of razor leaves comes my way, and I flip over a desk barely in time to block it. I lower my shoulder into the hallway door, not wanting to spend another minute trapped in that classroom.
Once in the hallway, I have some peace and quiet. I let my knowledge of the building lead me to the chemistry lab. A quick stinger blast blows the knob off the locked door. I begin tearing through the place, looking for liquid nitrogen. After a minute of searching, I finally find a container. It’s about the size of a fire extinguisher with a nozzle at the top for attaching a hose. Tucking it under my arm, I dash back into the hallway.
“Oh, you have
got to be kidding me.”
Foliage’s vines have worked their way into the hallway, turning the far end into a jungle. As if they can sense me, the vines begin spreading rapidly in my direction. I figure there’s only one thing to do. Extending a single blade, I stab a hole into the side of the container. The pressurized air rushes out of the canister, and I splash the liquid on the growing weeds. They begin to recoil and wither, turning black almost instantly. In this way, I push the vines all the way back to the classroom and back out the window.
“Hey, Foliage!” I shout from the shattered window. “Catch!” I throw the canister into the air towards Foliage, perched on his little beanstalk. Once it’s directly overhead, I take aim and fire a charged stinger blast. The canister erupts, pouring down liquid nitrogen on Foliage and all his plants. The latter shrink and wither on contact. Foliage holds his head in his hands and screams.
Seizing my opening, I throw myself at Foliage head first. I ball my right hand into a fist and pull it back. Once I’m close enough, I release a punch strong enough to knock a boxer on his back. Foliage falls from his leaf, and I quickly grab the front of his overalls. We both hit the ground with a tumble. Though I can stand, Foliage is out cold. The vines which haven’t begun to die simply hang lifelessly from the side of the building. “Green looks better on me, anyway,” I say to no one in particular.
