It didn't take long for Thomas to leave the rest of the Infinite's behind at the roller coaster. In fact, he was the first one to leave after the trial. He wasted no time at all, because he found it impossible to stand the other talents banter after a full trial wherein it was forced upon him.
As he sauntered through the hallways, pondering what he had to do next, he found himself drawn to the sound of Juliette's elevator. It took hardly a moment for him to solidify his conjecture, and he made his way towards the sound of the elevator. If there was another Infinite in the building, he would want to see which one they were. Before Thomas had a chance to find Juliette though, he heard the sound of footsteps following behind him.
”Ah, Caretaker. How can I help you?” Thomas remarked, in his typical monotonous fashion.
“Thomas.” Emily was kneading her hands together.
“Well, I-” She took a deep breath.
“I wanted to talk to someone, and we've known each other the longest.” She must have realized she was rambling because she cleared her throat.
“Thomas, I don't like how I've been acting. I just feel horrible after what I did at the party. But now that Alice's friend is dead, I-I don't know what to do.” She looked over her shoulder, as if looking for the infinite.
“As horrible as I feel, I'm sure Alice must feel even worse.” Thomas cocked an eyebrow and turned around to face Ellie.
”I’m afraid I don’t follow. What are you trying to say?” Emily's eyes shot open in shock.
“I hurt her feelings! I want to make things better but I don't know if I can do it.” Her arms fell to her sides.
“I guess I've been blaming myself for what happened to Rika a lot recently. I wasn't able to help her. I wasn't able to help much during this trial either.” She stopped fidgeting with her hands and put them behind her back.
“B-but surely I should try to do something!” She rocked back and forth on her heels. Another sign of nervousness.
Thomas tilted his head and crossed his arms. Instead of continuing to face Ellie, he just turned around and continued walking. He didn’t want to miss the new Infinite’s arrival, so Ellie would have to follow if she wanted to keep talking to him.
”I’m sorry, what are you trying to achieve here?” “I want to help everyone be happy again!” With a sigh, Ellie circled in front of Thomas, blocking his path.
“Thomas, you know you're special to me right? I wouldn't have been able to hold on this long if it wasn't for you.” She knelled in front of him.
“You... remind me of him.” She sighed.
“I've always wanted children Thomas, but I'm infertile. I wouldn't be ashamed if I had a son who turned out just like you though. Rika was the same way, she would have been a perfect daughter.” Emily placed a hand over her mouth.
“She gave me hope Thomas, both of you did. But when she died, I was reminded of how powerless I am here.” She wiped a hand across her eyes.
“I haven't been doing anything right, and I want to change that. I want to stop dragging everyone else down.” ”I’m your… hope? Ah. I think I see what's going on now.” Thomas paused, and abruptly shifted his arms behind his back. He looked down at Ellie and let out one quiet snicker.
”So that’s what this is to you. Some sort of battle, where you can decide that something gives you hope? You want to be the hope for the other Infinite’s, and stand as the valiant hero who fought off the despair that no one else could, right? You want to be someone special to them. That’s what you’re trying to tell me, isn’t it?” Thomas took a step, and leaned forward until he was nearly face to face with Ellie.
”You know what I think of that?” Thomas unclasped his hands from behind his back, and placed one on Ellie’s cheek.
”That’s bullshit.” Thomas pushed with his arm on Ellie’s cheek, and snapped back up so he was standing straight.
”You’re so caught up in yourself, that you don’t even realize that just that is your issue. She gave me hope. God. What a reprehensible line. How many times did you rehearse that in your head before you finally said it to me?” Thomas took one deep breath, and continued.
”You know what else I think, though? You’re a narcissist. I’ll try to be candid. You’re trying to convince me that you want to become a better person, not because you want to fight for hope, but because you’re so terrified of what other people are thinking about you that you feel the need to constantly try to change your image. You’re not going to improve yourself to become a symbol of hope. You’re going to do this because of some perverted sense of self satisfaction.” Thomas took a few steps forward, until he was ahead of Ellie.
”And the ironic part is, because you’re so scared that people will think bad of you — they’ll do just that.” Thomas continued walking, and replaced both his hands behind his back.
”Don’t try to follow me. We’re done here.” Every word cut at Emily like a razor. Each sting weakened her until she had no recourse but to fall onto her hands. She tried to keep the tears in, and failed. She tried to stop from howling, but failed. What hurt the most was that it was all true. Not a single point Thomas had touched on was incorrect. She just wanted to be a hero, she didn't want people to think ill of her, and until the trial she hadn't considered anyone's feelings but her own. Wasn't she supposed to be the infinite caretaker?
But being the infinite caretaker was a joke all in itself. There are many talents that relate to care taking. The Infinite Nanny was a caretaker, so was the Infinite Nurse. So was the Infinite Rehabilitation Specialist and the infinite Nun. But the point of the Infinites was to do what Hope's peak failed to do. To better the world's people though Infinite improvement. That meant that there needed to be inspiring people at every corner of the globe. Unlike Hope's Peak, they had to branch out and include the whole world. Unfortunately, not every corner of the globe had great talent to pick from. So when such an occasion arose, the Infinity Initiative would often slap a strange talent like caretaker on someone who displayed a degree of competence, but might not have been truly infinite level. The Yotsuyama group was largely responsible for putting Emily before Axis Mundi, who were known for backing a lot of hospitals anyway. Making Emily an Infinite was a win for both of the organizations, and her shape made her look interesting in front of a camera.
“I'm... Nothing!” Emily repeated between her sobs. Her vision was blurred by tears, and her eyes stung from all the crying. She couldn't get a hold of herself. She was useless. Fake. Undesirable. A hindrance. Eyesore. Selfish.
Nothing.
When Emily was done sobbing, she gradually pushed herself up into a kneeling position again, with both of her knees on the floor. And then she looked up. To an onlooker, she might have appeared to be gazing at the fluorescent lights, or some invisible stranger. But she was actually staring at nothing. Just the space where someone could be standing. Someone who might comfort her and tell her that she was okay. But there was no one there. There could have been a person there though. At one time, there
should have been a person there. But the time Emily was thinking about was a little different. She was leaning on the edge of a child's bed. Timothy had terminal cancer, and only had a few more weeks to live. His parents had been turned by the tragedy, and wanted nothing to do with him. Emily remembered how angry that made her. How could anyone just abandon a child like that? She didn't care about what horrible viruses existed, or what type of brainwashing someone had to go through to change like that. Maybe it was because she couldn't have children of her own, but that just didn't sit right with her. But anger didn't fix anything. Killing a murderer didn't bring the victims back to life. But what Emily could do is fill that space herself. She didn't have any obligation to. She doubted anyone would praise her for spending time with a boy that would die in a few weeks. But spending time with him just felt right. It made her feel good that she was trying to make someone's life a little more bearable. It would be hard, but she'd sleep better.
Emily stood up, and walked into the space.
With the space occupied, she turned around and looked at the floor. In the past, Timothy might have been there. Recently, Rika's mangled body might of been there. She would have been there more recently, as evident by the tears that soaked the floor. But there was nothing there now. Those people were dead. She had comforted them to the best of her ability. It didn't matter how successful she was, or what other people thought about her efforts, because she tried her best. Because being seen as a good person wasn't nearly as important as actually being a good person. And even if no one else liked Ellie for it, at least she would like herself.
Emily smiled, placed a hand on her chest, and walked after Thomas. She was ready to greet her newest patients.
