[OOC] Closed

[Kalleth]

"Ahem. Good morning students. Today we've got something special prepared for you. The holy of holies! That most anticipated and dreaded of lessons! Yes students, oh yes, I've been eagerly awaiting this day. You can not fathom the horrors, the terrors, the sheer blood-curdling fear that will consume you..."

Jordan reached under the counter, his wolf-grin on full display, and with a flourish-

He put on a chef's hat.

"Now students, are any of you familiar with the appropriate methods, and associated recipe required, in order to properly bake a human child?"

[Regitnui]

@Kalleth wot?

[Kalleth]

@Kalleth wot?

@Regitnui

"I'm talking about sexual reproduction, Zeke."

[Regitnui]

@Kalleth *Zeke promptly goes catatonic* wot?

[Kalleth]

@Kalleth *Zeke promptly goes catatonic* wot?

@Regitnui

*Jordan rolls his eyes and continues pulling out the cooking paraphernalia.*

"Class, I'm creating a metaphor for sexual reproduction using cooking shows as the metaphorical device. This is not because we're puritanical theologians, or paranoid child-huggers, but rather it's because most of you, save Zeke apparently, should have a good grasp of the material to hand. And besides, I think I've got some pretty killer puns in the oven. Does anybody object to this?"

[Regitnui]

@Kalleth "Sir, do we get cookies?"

[Raptra]

"Ahem. Good morning students. Today we've got something special prepared for you. The holy of holies! That most anticipated and dreaded of lessons! Yes students, oh yes, I've been eagerly awaiting this day. You can not fathom the horrors, the terrors, the sheer blood-curdling fear that will consume you..."

Jordan reached under the counter, his wolf-grin on full display, and with a flourish-

He put on a chef's hat.

"Now students, are any of you familiar with the appropriate methods, and associated recipe required, in order to properly bake a human child?"

@Kalleth

Why did this sound kind of cannibalistic to me? XD

[TheHangedMan]

I intend to apply, though could someone give me a rundown of what's happened so far?

[Zelosse]

@Emma Lemme see if I can remember.

There was some free moments before the assembly on the first days. Some people get to know some people. There was a water explosion at the fountain. During the assembly Felix went up to the podium after the teachers had given their speech and yelled at everyone. The night afterwards we had a Midnight Run, where the first-years get to run around in a foggy forest while the older kids (and teachers) play tricks on them. Dia met Felix and they fell in love. Silas almost got into a fight with Felix, which later resulted in Silas moving in with Vera. Jordan and Catherine were dramatic with each other. Lyra and ShiZhen met a water monster and nearly got drowned.

We're in the day after. Lyra and Zeke are hanging out in town. Vera and Silas are just about to get to town. Jordan and Felix were just fighting. Dia have just found an injured Felix. Catherine is coaching Kanako. Kano is coaching ShiZhen.

A new character will probably just have to know about the morning assembly and skipped the Midnight Run.

Out of the active students, we have two air (Lyra, Kanako), two light (Zeke, Vera), two water (Silas, ShiZhen), two fire (Felix, Zafiriel), one flora (Jideh). Co-GM has a light (Emi) and a lightning (Drow), but I haven't seen them in a while. The active teachers are Kano, Catherine, Jordan, Xavier?

Did I get all that right? Sorry if I'm missing anyone.

@Pseudo Stygian

@TheHangedMan

[Kalleth]

@Kalleth "Sir, do we get cookies?"

@Regitnui

"Only if you take me out for dinner first, Zeke."

[Regitnui]

@Kalleth "Sir, if you're baking, there should be cookies."

[Zelosse]

You can bake a lasagna too while you're at it. -Kano

[Regitnui]

@Zelosse, Exactly, lasagne is good. I can make lasagne.

[Kalleth]

@Zelosse @Regitnui

*facepalm* "You two go make that lasagna then. Maybe Kano can explain the concept of puberty. For that topic, like lasagna itself, is a many-layered and cheesy hot mess."

[Zelosse]

@Kalleth

"Hot mess"

*glances at the door where Catherine is teaching*

[Regitnui]

@Zelosse@Kalleth "Sir, why are the girls getting taught separately if we're talking about cooking?"

[Raptra]

Actually, while we're on the topic of Manilow teaching that subject to the class, I just have to leave this here:

https://youtu.be/U5xkxTfVLSA

and in a gym too, it's perfect!

[Old Amsterdam]

((Interconnecting door between the genders flash freeze, followed by a very audible squeek by Dia))

[Regitnui]

@Old Amsterdam And suddenly Felix gets all protective and decides to bash down the door... (Sorry, @Zelosse)

[Kalleth]

@Zelosse @Regitnui

*Jordan's fist tightens imperceptibly.*

"Zeke, it's because in order to teach you about the wonders of cooking, we can't have you getting distracted by the girls' utensils."

@Old Amsterdam

*Wields sands to melt the ice, and kicks down door.*

@Stern Algorithm

"Catherine, the students need to cook together! It's the only way they'll learn how to bake the perfect quiche! WE SIMPLY MUST GIVE THEM A DEMONSTRATION FOR THEIR OWN SAKE!"