Love the goblin design, especially in how their leader is the only 'smart' goblin. I do have a couple of issues though.
First, I'd like you to list the general units of his army, as well as all weapons and vehicles standard to his forces. (Tanks, rifles, soldier ranks zeppelins, etc.) List them in the equipment section and give me a good standard description on each.
I'd also like a rough estimation of his goblin population. Additionally I'd like estimations on how many units he has total (how many zeppelins, how many soldiers, tanks, etc.) Personally I expect him to have an overall large population, but few tanks, and only several zeppelins.
As a job he will be the strategist/Admiral. He will accompany parties for war missions and provide the forces, both the Knights of Evil and his goblin army, the strategy in how they will win that fight for Lancelot. Use of his zeppelins for air transport for the Knights of Evil is something to be expected of him as well. The Goblin Warlord is not expected to fight unless he gets confronted
The abilities and weapons he has now are fine. Artifacts are usually gifts from Lancelot, but I can allow him to have this gem instead its not a big deal.
Contact me once you've done the suggestions above so I can give it a second review.
@Pyromaniacwolf I'm not too interested in werewolves(I also find it a bit strange that lycans are werewolf descendants, I always imagined it was vice-versa; but semantics, its your race.), but void magic is ripe with flavor. Overall I'm liking the feel of your lycan void sorcerer, but I do have some things to adress
Void magic is really cool, however I'd like to compensate its power with a bit more of a chaotic feel; something you've already established but I think we can emphasize that a bit more.
For starters, void call; Using this ability will physically peel and damage his body for casting it, though how much damage he takes from an individual use of this spell depends upon how strong the unstable energy. Mind warping abilities and similar effects from this spell also can backfire either to the caster himself or a random ally (However the caster may have some resistance to void magic, in comparison to someone who's never experienced the void someone who uses void magic will take less damage and a bit less likely to destroy their own minds; keep in mind this isn't an immunity however. This fits a better idea in his physical frailty as years of exposure to the void has weakened his body in scars and other injuries alongside age itself.)
Planemeld doesn't distinguish between friend and foe, summons only distinguish their summoners and everyone else in the area is just something to kill for them; meaning that they are unable to distinguish friend from foe. The same applies to the unstable energy attacks that leak from the area, however the caster himself is vulnerable to that as well.
Reanimated dead should be changed into a different title like Void Corruption or something, since this feels more like a void creature possessing a mutating a corpse rather then a typical necromancy. With that in mind, The void beast corrupts the corpse into a cross between whatever the corpse was and a void beast itself. To enforce that it can only be used on corpses, casting this on a living target will fail as the victim will natural fight off the attempt of infection. I imagine that the beasts that infect bodies are a unique void beast, and he has a limit of controlling 15 of them.
Frenzy should be a double edged sword; those that are 'buffed' and do not immediately get rid of it will suffer a constant blinding rage that may cause them to attack allies as well. they also become berserk as they lose the sensation of pain; however while they are affected by this spell their skin will blister and peel from the void exposure. This spell only applies to mortal creatures or similar beings.
The void creature summons are fine, especially since you describe that they need sacrifices for the stronger summons.
His artifact I propose is a gift from Lancelot that happens to deal with void magic. A summon-able chain that can be casted from the hand, and lashes out and attaches itself to a victim. While someone is wrapped by this chain, they are slowly (and painfully) drained of magic energy in addition to being exposed to void magic. This also results in the typical skin peeling and mind-melting effects, both of which are both slow and painful. Absorbed energy within the artifact can be used as a substitute for sacrificing in both rituals and summoning.
His role will be a mage. Lancelot doesn't care if his powers will backfire on allies so long as he uses his ability to destroy his enemies.
@Scarescrow So I have a few problems with the sheet. For starters he feels much more like a npc that should be summoned rather then a Player Character itself. A 35 giant Ice man who constantly freezes everything around him isn't gonna fit well with the Keep the Knights are staying out. Furthermore, his madness makes him a difficult candidate to be hired. Lancelot does enjoy internal conflict between his forces, and ofcourse doesn't mind the thought of one knight killing another; but the risk of one knight destroying nearly his entire organization is a different story altogether.
There are grammar errors and typos here and there that make this sheet feel incomplete, such as "his madness and bloodlust can killed everything around him" There is also the matter that Ice elementals are the last elementals. What happened to the rest? Not to mention elementals are a more generic race and saying that only the Ice elementals remain is a bit restrictive on elementals a as a whole. I certainly expect elementals to be rare, but not extinct. Regardless I don't see much explanation to the elemental race, especially when you give notes that ice elemental are the last elementals. I don't mind if characters and races are vague in that sense but this comes across as lazy.
The risk that if he dies he will instantly explode into a nuclear ice zone that can "kill any being" is not only broken but just another nail in the coffin that Lancelot wouldn't bring a knight that was a walking bomb. Being able to raise an army of ice elementals is also a bit too much, the giant is already able to destroy cities and we have several characters with armies already. That particular ability just feels out of place.
Even if you were to fix the prior issues such as giving him a smaller form to transform into and being able to control his surrounding blizzard, I can't really see this concept fit in as it is.
I won't stop you from resubmitting an Ice elemental character or work on a new sheet altogether, maybe you can make an ice elemental work in the Knights of Evil. But for now I am going to have to not accept this submission.
Titles: Da Chief Gobbo, Da Rabble Rouser, Da High Tyrant, Da Steam Lord, Da Tanker, Da Dwarf Killah, Mountain Shaker, Black Powder Baron, Supreme Despot, Chief Oppressor, Keg Drainer, Baby Stompah and Da Lord King Boss of Da Goblins
Race
Goblin
Age
35
Size
~3.5 ft
Gender
Male
Religion
He worships the great and powerful Green Skin Gods Gork and Mork. They are the patron dietys of many an orc or goblin. One is a brutal and savage fighter and the other is a clever manipulator. Which one is which is generally unimportant as they are often switched accidentally even by their own priests. And the method of worship is very easy, to give favor to Gork (or Mork) is to exact savage brutality on.. well anyone really but those who are considered enemies are preferred. Giving favor to Mork (or Gork) is the same except with a touch of Cleverness.
Job
Strategist
Personality
Grolik is a powerful Goblin, Although physically weaker than most men or dwarves his power is through the clever application of savage brutality. He is prone to cruel bouts of rage and bloodshed just like the rest of his species but he is also devious and more than capable of crafting elaborate battle plans that actually only rely on a long series of simple tasks that chain together into a genius tactical strategy. Other than that he loves chaos and madness, particularly as a city or town falls to chaos beneath his war band. He is less subtle than some of Lancelot's knight but a terrible force to be reckoned with none the less. He also thoroughly enjoys the sight of his enemies or rivals hope crumbling before his eyes, when their best plans fail to the onslaught of goblin deviousness.
Biography
Grolik was born in the upper rungs of Goblin society as a child of one of the generals. For many years he grew, and fought, and earned his scars but it quickly became obvious that he was a different kind of goblin when compared to his peers. He was smarter than any other goblin that had been know in living history. even the goblin king at the time was amazed at Grolik's intelligence. Unfortunately this painted a target on the young goblin as a threat to the goblin royalty, and right they where. Each plan they sent against him, each assassin and cruel trick they had used to subvert their own predecessors failed spectacularly against Grolik. for many years Grolik's mind was honed by out thinking his own people. While the majority of goblins are quite stupid those who rule may still be stupid but are often very clever, able to think of very inventive means of murder.
Grolik survived well into adult hood fending off assassins and poison until he made his own grab for power, but it was not aimed at the goblin leadership. He managed to convince a small band of goblins to follow him and raided a dwarven keep. This happened often and the event was no surprise to either side. However Grolik's prize was a Dwarven gun and a steam driven vehicle. He successfully captured both and began taking them apart and learning how they worked. The designs where difficult to understand as a whole but the machine was actually a long series of simple parts. He crafted his own gun, it was a crude thing that was drastically more powerful than the Dwarven version, but also tended to explode sending fragments of the barrel as shrapnel around the room. He took the risk regardless, a simple act of extreme savagery was all that was needed to make him the king of Goblins.
He strode into the king's throne roon and fired his make shift blunderbuss at the king without ceremony or monologue. He wreathed the king in flame are blasted a hole through him the size of a watermelon. From then on his fate as king was sealed. However, his mind showed through when he promptly banned assassination and passed a law that stated "The one who kills the Goblin king is here by sentenced to death" While this may not seem like a solid plan, the goblins had never had laws before and believed that maybe it was worth a shot. Thus Grolik secured his domain over the goblins so strongly that there has been no attempts on his life since he ascended the throne.
What he did to make the goblin forces so terrifying was that he united them into a singular force rather than a hodge podge of warbands that all only partially owed their allegance to the goblin king. He drafted the smartest goblins he could find and turned them into engineers. As the first version of the terribly dangerous guns and steam driven tanks came together he used them to launch a siege on the dwarves that occupied the mountain he would one day call his own. The Dwarves broke and where slaughtered to the last in the depth of their mines. This gave Grolik and his cadre of engineers ample materials and examples to deconstruct. The dwarven technology was better in nearly every sense. Grolik's engineers managed to make a version that was truly deadly (often as much so for goblins as the enemy) and simple. Once safety components where largely removed and more powerful steam engines installed it made each vehicle a devastating weapon, even (or especially) when it failed spectacularly.
Once the Dwarves where purged from the Goblin's new home they began work in the mines and workshops to churn out steam engines and guns at an alarming rate. The few human cities enjoyed a period of several years of peace and prosperity as teh goblins toiled away in their new home. However The first city fell some years later, shortly after Grolik turned 30, The tide of steam tanks and cannon fire brought the city to the ground within a single night. When the other cities learned of this they fortified themselves better and began prolonging each siege to the point of annoying Grolik immensely. About this time Grolik demanded something new from his engineers, and laid the plans for the great Goblin Zeppelins. While the steam tanks are prone to catastrophic explosions that detonate the steam boiler and explode the powder magazine the Zeppelins where designed somewhat more carefully as each demands a draining expense of resources. While parts of the zeppelins are prone to failure it is rarely disastrous and merely an annoyance of maintenance.
Grolik is a burly and ferocious goblin, with a dirty and mottled grey skin and long ears and a set of plate mail that seems to be crafted, crudely, from a set of Runic Dwarven plate. While the Runes still enchant the armor with durability and strength they are not as powerful as the true enchanted dwarven armor. He carries a long sword/cleaver something between an axe and a sword, he also carries a large bore blunderbuss that fires a cone of fire and jagged scrap metal. It is said that the single blast from Grolik's cannon has killed Mountain trolls or Ogres in one shot.
Traits and Equipment
Goblins are short creatures standing only ~3ft tall, they are slight of build. When being compared to a human or orc they are weak and would pose little threat to most humans. However their danger comes from their number and ability to repopulate rapidly. They where little more than a nuicance in ages before, but now with the Goblins having discovered their own version of Steam technology that is admittedly unreliable and nearly as dangerous to the goblins themselves as the enemy. Their advantage over others is made doubly dangerous when the throngs of goblins is reinforced with cannon fire and grumbling hulks belching smoke and steam.
N/A
N/A
Tactician
Grolik is actually a very clever tactician able to make his horde of goblins and machines a great power
Intelligent
Grolik is smarter than the vast majority of other Goblins. While not a great mind when compared to a powerful mage he uses his intelligence as one of his greatest weapons. Due to the general understanding that goblins are stupid creatures, his intelligence is a cruel surprise for his enemies.
Forward thinker
Grolik's greatest advantage over his brethren is his ability to think forward more than a week or two. His influence brought the Goblins quickly from the stone/bronze age directly into the steam and iron age.
Goblin horde
Grolik's greatest strength is the vast hordes of goblins and beasts, so many in fact that he is more than capable of launching a sustained and brutal siege on mighty fortresses without assistance. Sending gangs of goblins into sewers or underground tunnels benath the city to pop up and burn and ravage the city while its being bombarded from mortars and zepplins.
Technology
The power that has made the goblins more than a petty nuisance is their steam driven engines and black powder. While a goblin fighter is a tenacious but ultimately weak fighter, a goblin steam tank or rifle squad makes them a terror on the field, Tanks often drive deep into the enemy lines shielding the goblins within from harm (usually) while the gunners pepper the field with bullets and spears from the many ports on the tanks. The tanks often also have a large bore cannon mounted on top. The cannons are generally filled with grape shot to pulverize a whole company of soldiers. Or solid balls to pound through gates or walls.
The Zeppelins are the greatest feat of engineering, a huge balloon with a boat lashed underneath sporting cannons and bomb ports to rain explosives and heavy slugs on the battle field. the Zeppelins are slow but their heavy armament make them a powerful Arial asset, while the zeppelins could not combat a dragon well, most dragons or griffons would be hesitant to attack them because the large bore cannons would to horrible damage if they managed to hit, and the veteran zeppelins have put down their fair share of wyvers and griffons. Many cities around the Goblin mountain have began to see the floating war machines as an omen of doom often leading to the burning of their cities and towns.
Small stature
As most Goblins Grolik is smaller and weaker than men, though his enchanted armor makes him -nearly- as strong as the average man.
Commander
Grolik is a commander, not a warrior. While he can fight he doesn't especially want to. He prefers to watch a city burn from the safety of his command tank or giant zepplin. So he is not an especially fearsome warrior. even when gripped by his bloody rage.
Self-conscious
He is a mighty Warlord that has been the causing great strife around their mountain. However his short stature makes him self conscious and will become enraged and irrational if pushed too far.
Rune Armor This armor is made from a former Dwarven king's battle armor. It is damaged and been partially modified to fit Grolik it still offers a great deal of protection and its runes imbue Grolik with physical might and protection.
Blunderbuss Grolik's blunderbuss has only been fired once, to assume his role as Goblin King. However it is capable of monsterous damage to any target that is cursed to be in its path. (assuming it does not explode)
Choppah A heavy cross between a long sword and a meat cleaver. Grolik would have some trouble wielding it at his size but with the strength granted to him by his runic armor he wields it with ease.
The Balrog's Heart
The Balrog's heart is a gem stone mined from the depts of the Dwarven cities in the years before Grolik took the forge city for himself. It is rumored to be a magical black hole, damaging spells and illusions directed at its holder are consumed by the stone with no obvious effect on the wearer. It appears to be true as the Goblin Shamans who where attempting to use their spells on the Dwarven king who was wearing it at the time was entirely unaffected by their magic. Grolik currently wears it as part of a macabre crown. Set into the skull of the former dwarven king that sits on the goblins own head.
Relationships
Rival with Nraz'gagr the Wildhorn (Not openly violent, but there are often minor scuffles)
Other
(Theme songs or other noteworthy things and such go here.)
Total Population: ~12,000,000 Strength: ~2,000,000 (could be raised to ~4,000,000 if desperately needed) ~10,000 steam tanks ~300 Zeppelins ~100 Arachnarok Spiders
Goblin Infantry: 70% The vast majority of Goblins are general infantry units equipped with a fairly random assortment of arms and armor. However they generally sport leather armor and crude swords or spears along with simple shields.
Goblin Archer: 20% Many goblins are equipped with short bows to rain arrows down on the enemy forces, however these are being phased out as the muskets are much more powerful.
Goblin Gunner: 10% Some goblins have been equipped with simple muzzle loading rifles. They are slow to load and inaccurate, however barrages from many gunners is exceedingly devastating even to heavy armored knights.
Steam tank: The steam tank is a contraption (about the size of a semi-truck container) built out of steel and wood and powered by a furnace and boiler. It is slow, only reaching the speed of a very lazy or lame horse. however their weight and power makes it so that they are very difficult to stop and will casually plow through infantry formations. They are designed with a plow on the front to push obstacles out of their way, like infantry or small sheds. Along the sides are numerous ports for the throng of goblins within to be firing their guns or jabbing their spears out at the enemy. the most powerful ones have replaced the plow in the front with a heavy naval cannon loaded with scrap metal and ball bearings. The tanks are highly prone to disastrous failures, generally resulting in the detonation of its powder kegs.
Zeppelin: The goblin zeppelins are mighty undertakings of Goblin engineering, Each is simply a massive balloon with a naval frigate lashed to it, with several steam driven contraptions to steer and move the floating monstrosity. Their cargo holds are generally stuffed with explosive bombs and any other materials that are deadly from a great height. The crews for Zeppelins are a higher caliber than most and are much more careful when it comes to the ships, they are careful around the explosives in the hold and are well trained engineers. The zeppelins are still crude machines prone to failure but not in the catastrophic ways that the steam tanks are.
Arachnarok Spider: These are spiders of titanic proportion, they are so large that Goblins have taken to building fighting platforms on their backs and firing continuous hails of gunfire and arrows down on the enemy while the spider also crushes enemies under foot. Grolik has taken to using one particularly huge and savage looking one as is personal command platform when he is not commanding from a Zeppelin. The spiders themselves are powerful beasts and very rare, however Grolik has spent a great deal of his generals' time finding and capturing them.
To start with the army, I'm going to reduce the number of tanks to 1,000, zeppelins to 100, and giant spiders to 50. The bulk of the army will be fighting a large scale war with one of the imperial nations, leaving the commander with a few dozen tanks, 10 zeppelins, and a few hundred soldiers for personnel use, all located on a fortified outpost a few miles away from the Moonlake Keep.
Aside from that everything seems in order, accepted.
Everything seems to be bit in order with one exception.
His absorption seems a bit too...universal being able to break down 'all matter of life.' I think we should nerf that to a powerful bio-acid that can break down most forms of biomatter with the exception of creatures highly resistant to acids, and resilient variations of bone, chitin, and similar tough material. This probably already goes without saying but I just want to clarify that his acid won't be able to break down every imaginable lifeform; especially in a fantasy setting.
Sorry if I'm a bit slow on updates but between writing a literary essay and work, and prepping to going to New York Thursday I'm in a bit of a hassle. Once I'm in New York though I should have time to work on this more if I have internet up there.
Edit: in the meantime, if you have any questions regarding any noteworthy lore or of the rp in general, just ping me. I am still accepting characters but we have enough to get started once I get around to making the IC post.
Everything seems to be bit in order with one exception.
His absorption seems a bit too...universal being able to break down 'all matter of life.' I think we should nerf that to a powerful bio-acid that can break down most forms of biomatter with the exception of creatures highly resistant to acids, and resilient variations of bone, chitin, and similar tough material. This probably already goes without saying but I just want to clarify that his acid won't be able to break down every imaginable lifeform; especially in a fantasy setting.
ASide from that, sheet looks good! Accepted
I pictured it exactly as you described it. Just using a catch all for the ability, but of course it has it's limits.
