[OOC] I'll Show You Why I'm at The Top of the Food Chain

[LeeRoy]

Man and Beast, together at the end of ones life.

[The Harbinger of Ferocity]

Pending the changes, you have one generic cave lion I have drafted up from a few different sources. I will post the environmental information when you update your own submission

[The Harbinger of Ferocity]

There are only a few issues noted in the submission, but those largely stem from the scenario to be played out. That said, the pig and the presence of rope are the two most glaring outstanding problems.

The situation is as follows, occuring at approximately zero-two-hundred hours, forty seven miles Southeast of Rancho La Brea, California. The date is current minus fifteen thousand, 12983 BCE, with current weather conditions leaving a light obscuring snowfall due to season. Illumination is very low due to weather conditions despite being at seventy-two percent. Current temperature is approximately 10* F, with windspeed and direction at just over 8 knots at 160*.

The environment is cold grassland and light hills with limited forestation, predominantly pine. The majority of Pleistocene megafauna have migrated further south, but members of bison, giant camel, elk, pronghorn, llama, peccaries, ground sloth among others are still extant.

The nature of the introduction is not known, being relegated to unexplained. Due to the equipment presented, it is assumed the party in question has had several days to acquire sufficient materials and largely avoid natural hazards, be them predators or environment. Food is in extremely limited supply, likely only to be scavenged off of kills that were marked by local rough-legged buzzards. Fresh water is in limited supply, but snowfall has made this more available in sufficient quality to avoid dehydration. Items assumed to be with member is limited modern winter clothing brought with them during excursion.

[Lith]

I see no better place than to post this here. Good luck gentlemen, I - Lithfangel the Great, known by no other alias ever, will actively narrate your amazing battle. I'm very experienced at doing this. Feel honored.
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(UPDATED 12/29/2017)
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[LeeRoy Post I]

Roy is a monkey I guess? He has some anime hair breeze shit go on.



Pretending paranoia somehow justifies him having Spiderman powers and just magically knowing bad shit is about to happen to him, he begins to pose with his dual wielded spears. You know, Roy's playing himself and I bet he's working two poles all the time so this seems pretty immersive.

He's got "work boots" on - careful other guy, those're gonna have metal plates in them!

It dawns on me this guy is standing out here in the winter cold freezing to death carrying two spears but has decided not to start a fire. I guess that'd be useful. Can't have that.
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[Harbinger Post I]

Some metaphor about a shadow bitch dancing in terror or something. I dunno. It's flowery. I'm gonna skip that.

Wait...



It all reads like this! I'm doomed! I'm no good at deciphering this kind of gibbity gock while I'm drunk! Granted I've not drank any alcohol yet but I get the feeling when this fight takes off, I'm gonna kill my liver.

Well. Uh. The lion... is a ghost. And the ghost lion is hungry. So it begins sniffing really good. What it sniffed, Roy, was so quiet that this made it a better target to hunt I guess because bullshit. The lion has like, fucking.. sonar radars that can detect footprints under snowfall I guess. I never learned this in college. I was more of an art student myself, wanted to really waste them grants.
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[LeeRoy Post II]

"Oh man, it just conveniently dawned on me that I could be tracked if I leave footprints." Roy lied, closing out the web browser on his computer with roleplayerguild.com in a tab on WaterFox x64 before pushing the desk into some snow quietly and resuming stroking his spears.

Dual wielding spears you see, really gave you all kinds of advantages. Like a reduced range of motion, less thrust, less power in a strike, dead spaces to defend yourself- it's really the way master martial artists like to do combat with spears. I recommend it.

VATS from Fallout was on I guess because he already knew the invisible ghost lion was somewhere nearby, so he knew if he started running, it'd float after him really fast.

We get some riveting backstory.

Roy as a boy was unhealthy. So his father, in a stroke of genius, made him swing an axe like a fucking Baki the Grappler character until he aggravated his illnesses and died. We get no insight into how this has any relevancy to the situation right now where Roy's out in Antarctica trying to kill ghosts with anime spears but I guess it was no time like the present.

Finally realizing a fire might be a good idea (all too late), Roy knew he couldn't stop to make one yet as the encounter music from old computer RPGs was on. So there had to be enemies nearby.

Roy was a psychic.

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[Harbinger Post II]

The ghost lion I will now name Snoop Dog was inhaling tall grass, as it told itself the trail to Roy was irrelevant despite harping on it seconds ago. A lying lion. That sounds funny if you say it out loud. Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

The lion had ascertained this was unlike any animal it had encountered thus far, and therefore, it clearly needed to go fuck with it when there's likely other easier game nearby. Well worth the risk!

It began using its [Shenanigan Eyes] to scan the environment. The second the victim moved within sight of its motion detecting nightvision, the ghost lion Snoop Dog would annihilate said target. Its tail flaps back and forth, because when you want to sneak up on something, pretending you're a house cat that just found a dead mouse and you want catnip as a reward is really the peak of nature's evolutionary path. Roy sensed this ghost by beating his sticks off, there's no way he won't magically see the tail wagging. gg no re Snoop Dog.

And that is the tale of this epic battle so far as told by the mighty Lithfangel. Who will win? And who... will survive...?

[Todd Howard]

@Lithfangel

*Throws rocks*

Boo! The JoJo gif isn't even redeeming it!

[Mobius]

youtube.com/watch?v=GKMEab0ot2o

Is this what you go for @lithfangel when doing a review?

[Lith]

Yes. That's about right actually. I feel a kindredship with that man.

And Raddum. I can only make prime Italian foods with the finest ingredients. I'm sure as the fight gets better, the review will get even more informative.

[LeeRoy]

@Lithfangel
You got one thing wrong, fuccboi.
I'm quad wielding those spears.

[Lith]

I'm impressed actually Lee.

Except I'm not, what kind of fool do you take me for?

I already beat you to this concept for Pathfinder.



Strangely Magnus denied me getting to play this. But regardless, 8 swords. You can apparently wield swords in your mouth, armpits, and leg pits. This adds a lot of options. Why not spears?