Make a wish, corrupt a wish.

[Harlequ]

Granted, you get pickles and pickled peppers drenched in mayo and mustard. There might be some cat food in there too.

I wish I had a KitKat

[Quote5]

Your wish is granted. It's expiration date was for 1940.

I wish for good grades in school.

[Dread]

Granted, although "good" is purely subjective and straight "D's" are about all you can muster up.

I wish for a car so I don't have to get a ride from my dumb brother after school.

[Quote5]

Your wish is granted. It breaks down, and your dumb brother has to pick you up from the middle of the road.

I wish I had even the slightest idea what to do with myself.

[Gareth]

Your wish is granted. Except you had so many great ideas it gave you a headache.

I wish I had a better job.

[Harlequ]

Granted, though ‘better’ is a very vague word, so you become a chimney sweep.

I wish my bagel wasn’t burnt.

[Quote5]

Your wish is granted. It's now charred.

I wish for... umm.... food. Again. Yeah I have small dreams.

[Harlequ]

Your wish has been granted. You gain one bowl of rice! It’s burnt to a crisp.

I wish I had the power to temporarily take one’s voice away without losing mine.

[The Nexerus]

Granted. You have no control over whose voice you take, so it never matters.

I wish for my friend to be happy.

[Quote5]

Your wish is granted. He/she (I have no idea who you are talking about) is now happy at your expense.

I have a lot of stuff today. I wish I can get it all done, and get it done well at that.

[Harlequ]

Congratulations, you get everything done, and it’s brilliant! Unfortunately a kitchen fire burns your house down with all the work in it, and a virus erases all your files. Better luck next time.

I wish for my bird to be trained well.

[Quote5]

Your wish is granted. Your bird has been perfectly trained. However, the only thing it was trained to do was peck out eyeballs... which might be what you wanted, I don't know.

I seem to have an ear infection. I wish I didn't

[Harlequ]

Don’t worry, your ear isn’t infected anymore. Your eyes however, are a different story.

I wish I was a bit taller.

[Quote5]

Your wish is granted. You are now a quarter of a millimeter taller

I wish I was not poor.

[Harlequ]

Congrats, everyone has gone bankrupt except you. The world has been thrown into chaos while you’re secured in your safety bunker. Sadly, they locked the doors before they could bring in the food or water, and the bunker’s soundproof.

I wish people took regular baths without wasting water.

[Quote5]

Your wish is granted. Everyone has to share the same bath water though. It's filtered but it's still going to get real nasty real quick.

I wish coming up with Wishes for this specific game was easier for me.

[Harlequ]

Wish granted. All your wishes are toaster related, so there’s not too far to go.

I wish everyone in the world was born with one wish, that would only last for 17 minutes, and only worked once they turned 6.

[Briza]

Granted! But, no one ever exercises this wish... Hooray!

I wish to be a good writer.

[Dread]

Granted. Although, sadly, you've wasted a wish since you're already a good writer.

I wish I could travel to another dimension.

[Quote5]

Your wish is granted. You meat alternate dimension you. Alternate you is a real jerk.

I wish I wasn't an emotional, sentimental piece of crap.