“Do not pursue Lu Bu!”“Blow me, Cao Cao. You don’t own me.” Tyler snapped at his TV, before pushing his thumbstick forward and heading toward Lu Bu regardless of what the game told him to do. This had been his entire Spring Break. Wake up, put on pants if work. Go to work. If no work, do not put on pants. Acquire toaster waffles. Put in Dynasty Warriors 4.
As a result, Tyler had unlocked almost everything.
Almost. Everything. He could figure out how to get Lu Bu’s Hummer of a horse, the Red Hare. GameFAQs, so far, had been unable to provide him with answers. So, he assume this was the way: beat Lu Bu in the one stage where he was supposed to be undefeatable. That made sense, right? Kill the dude, take his horse.
Tyler looked down at Theodore, the Familiar sitting on his lap and shook his head.
“Shut up, no one is just unbeatable. That wouldn’t make any sense for the programmers to put him in if you can’t beat… And, I’m dead.” Tyler sighed at the big ‘defeat’ screen on his television, and put the PlayStation 2 controller down, standing up.
“Well, I guess that’s that.” He walked over to the curtains and threw them open, letting the morning sun in, and peering down toward Greek row.
“Everyone should be back by now, right? That sucks. It’s gonna get loud. No, I’m not going to any parties. Because they’re loud and I don’t do well with people.” Hearing the toaster pop, Tyler moved over to the counter and grabbed the two toaster waffles, throwing them down on the plate of champions: a single paper towel. He covered them in butter and even drizzled some syrup on them, before he reached over and flicked the radio on.
“I should be just in time for the morning show.”Part of the ritual included eating toaster waffles with no pants while listening to Citrine on her morning segment.
When Tyler turned on the radio for a moment he was greeted only with static, as tended to happen when the programs were shifting over or when there wasn’t a broadcast. Of course, no matter what time of day it was it always felt like there
was a broadcast but given that spring break was at an end at long last it could be forgiven for a bit of behind the scenes tomfoolery as the status quo inched closer back towards normal.
The static came to an end with the sudden art of noise, which was as literal a sentiment as there could possibly be. Citrine’s voice wasn’t there to greet her loyal audience, anyone who knew anything knew that Citrine’s show always had a bed track that doubled as her cue song and the intro to her broadcast; it changed with the semesters though clearly she had decided that the return to campus living was the perfect time for a new bed track.
The start of her broadcast was met with a resounding call of “HEEEEEEEYYYYY” followed by an upbeat, funky melody complete with popping snare and piano. The song played into the hook, the lyrics seeming to be made specifically for the brodcast.
‘Turn the radio on, let the music play/If I could I'd dance my life away/And if you can't seem to find any words to say, make a joy-ful noise, look around it's another day’After the hook ended, the song continued but the music was piped down to the volume of background music as the show started in earnest.
”Ladies and gentlemen, funky fae folk, and everyone out there good morning and say hello to the soulful grooves of Cee-Lo Green with the third track off his sophomore effort on his solo career. The album, for my money, is the album to get this month and I tell you, this Cee-Lo guy’s a hell of a talent but of course you knew that already.” The music picked back up just in time for the hook to repeat and dropped right back to the background track when the next verse continued.
Citrine’s voice was tailor made for radio, it was silky, smooth, like a slow jam with your best partner or the toe tapping sound that just made you want to tune in. There was a sultry husk that made her easy to listen to no matter what the mood was. It was no secret that ever since she started having a regular show that the viewership had increased. While it was more likely because Citrine had impeccable taste and an ear for what the campus wanted and needed to hear, but her voice introducing each song or reading off a list of campus events was just as much a reason for listener retention.
”If you’re hearing this it means you’re back on campus after what I’m sure was a much needed spring break. Or maybe you never left, in which case don’t let anyone tell you only the loser’s stay behind; I was here all week and I’m the coolest little voice in your head. Now then, let me remind you that the break is over, but that doesn’t mean the music is, and with a return to campus life comes a shift to the final few months in the term. For upcoming graduates it’s the light at the end of the tunnel, for the undergrads it’s the end to that awkward first year where your biggest concern isn’t your grades or your exams but whether or not Sally Sweet-Ass or Jimmy Cute-Face in sociology is as into you as you are into them. And for everyone inbetween it’s just the promise of another sweet summer.” Citrine’s voice stopped and with it the song came to an end, replaced with a generic royalty free instrumental that was more part of the broadcast mandate than Citrine’s own personal choice.
”You know, spring break is a strange thing. In all the movies and television out there, spring break is always the centerpiece. People on it, people planning for it, but never what happens to the people after it. Spring break isn’t like summer vacation, and for some of you, summer vacation doesn’t have the same appeal it did in high school; but post spring break is a strange period because with it the only thing us university types have to look forward to are exams, exams, and more exams.”
“Of course, you don’t need me to remind you. I’m just curious to see if yet again a member of Alpha Chi or Pi Chi is going to walk away with the magna and summa cum laude positions. Not for nothing, say what you will about those fae, those long lives and memories make them almost uniquely suited for high honors. Somewhere out there, though, I know we’ve got a future ork doctorate student. But look at me going on and on about academics, that’s not what you came to hear. I do have a message from the Students’ Union and they would like to remind all students that sign ups for next year’s classes opens at the end of April and to get in touch with your program’s head advisor sooner rather than later. You don’t wanna be the one with classes at six in the morning because you slept in.”
“Now with business out of the way I know everyone out there has just one question that needs to be answered, and no it’s not if the O.R.K. boys struck back at Alpha Chi for the vine-dalism that required O.R.K. needing to break down their own door to get out of the house - and I’m told that was quite the fire hazard and I didn’t know the Chi’s had such bloodlust in them. I’m sure that old rivalry is going to be ignited soon enough, but no, the question on everybody’s mind is what is Citrine gonna play for you guys first today? I thought about it. And you know I never disappoint.” Though no one could see it, given the fact that the radio was purely auditory, Citrine was smiling like an idiot and already starting to bob her head to the first track of the rest of the term.
”I figure some of you might need a bit of a pick me up after a week of excess while some might need some motivation to get up and get back to it, so I reached into my bag of records and I pulled out something that is guaranteed to get everyone up and moving with the good vibes to greet the day. Keep your ears tuned to this frequency, Citrine’s got just what you need when you need it. Welcome back, everybody, now get up on your feet - this one comes at you straight from Denmark.” Citrine flipped the switch and her voice was replaced
by a funky melody complete with bells and a beat that made it damn near impossible to sit still and just listen. Spring break was over and once more the student body of the University of Washington had their school and social lives to look out for.
At the very least they would be able to do so with a soundtrack.