[IC] King of the Hill: Boiled Mountain Dew Electric Boogaloo II

[Dark Cloud]

Hank cracked open a can of beer as he stood in the alley their usual drinking spot.

"Yup" Hank said.

[BangoSkank]

Dale held his can of Alamo up, adjusted his trusty hat, and drank deeply.

"Yep."

[Dark Cloud]

Bill in his dirty wifebeater stained with god knows what scratched himself, and chugged his can.

"yep" Bill said.

[Dark Cloud]

Boomhauer sipped his Alamo beer can casually.

"ummmmhmmmm" he said.

[BangoSkank]

"5G," Dale said then pulled a cigarette out, lit it, and took a long draw, "That's why our kids are the way they are."

He took a drink and continued, "Especially Bobby."

[Dark Cloud]

"Hey that's my dang son your talking about Dale I don't care if he has a 5G," he took a sip of his beer "H'wut is 5G anyways some sort of street talk?" Hank frowned at the thought.

[BangoSkank]

Dale takes a long draw off his cigarette, looks left, looks right, absent-mindedly ashes his cigarette into his beer.

He then narrows his eyes as a little old woman with small glasses and large hair across the street and two houses down slowly waddles down her drive way and to her car. Though she seems oblivious Dale motions to his eyes and then to her.

"I see you Agent Debra," he whispers, "...I see you."

He turns his head back to Hank and begins, "5 Geeeee Hank," he brings the cold can of Alamo up to his lips and takes a victorious gulp before turning green and coughing up ashy beer into the alley. He regains his composure and takes another sip.

"It's how they're trying to control us, like damn robots."

[Dark Cloud]

"God Dale you watched Transformers again didn't you?" Hank sighed downing a little bit of his refreshing beer "Your like that Shia Lebeouf feller I tell you h'wut!" Hank told Dale annoyance in his tone.

[BangoSkank]

Dale shakes his head in disappointment, looks to Boomhauer, then to Bill, then to Hank.

"I have it on good authority that that Shia Leboof character is an actual cannibal. But yes. Nothing gets Nancy going like Transformers. You know," Dale blows out a cloud of smoke despite having not taken a draw off his cigarette, "I came this close last night to getting some. Goddamn migraines. Redcorn's back at it again, trying to work that bad joojoo out of her. Man's a miracle worker."

[Dark Cloud]

Hank shook his head and sighed "Yep he probably is" Hank said and took a nice long sip of his beer. He was about to say something but Bill interrupted him.

[Dark Cloud]

"Ooo I watched deh Transformers movie too once Hank," Bill Dauetre blurted out "Megan Fox was in it she sure is pretty" he said dreamily "Wonder what she smells like?" he giggled after a swig of beer.

[Dark Cloud]

Boomhaeur looked at Dale then Hank who shook his head disappointedly, Boomhaeur shrugged and drank his Alamo before speaking up.

"Dang ol weird man...talking bout restraining order something...Meagan Fox...dang ol (transforming noise)...talking ugh man" Boomhaeur said.

[Enarr]

Fidget spinner in hand, Bobby stepped off of his Italian imported moped and made his way to the fence where the boys had congregated. Hitting his Juul during the walk, he rubbed a sympathetic hand on his own aching lower back, which had been his ticket home on medical separation from his service in the National Reserves. Days like these, little was more refreshing than cracking open a nice, cold one.

"Well," Bobby croaked as he pulled an ice cold can of craft brew out of his fanny pack, "I hear she has a weird-shaped thumb, Mr. Dauterive."

[Dark Cloud]

Hank grimaced as Bobby pulled up his son was never what he thought he would grow up to be. "Dang it Bobby I know your an adult but h'wut the hell do you think your doing with that thing," he said disgusted and pointed at the juul "Some electric thingumajig? It isn't natural I tell you h'wut" he shook his head and sighed exasperatedly.

[Enarr]

"I"m pretty sure it's got propane in it, dad," Bobby said, blowing a clean puff of sweet, cinnamon-scented steam Hank's way. "I don't see how you could get any charcoal in there. It's so small," he said, waving it in front of his face. "Grandpa told me that he went around the world and checked and there are only so many great men who could make something like that work but they're all on our side. He made sure of that."

At that moment, Bobby felt his thigh tremble. He took a swig of the ultra-sweet craft beer to boost his blood sugar before realizing that it wasn't his diabetes. GH was just keeping up their streak on Snapchat. "Hold on a minute, dad. I gotta check this. It might be important."

[Dark Cloud]

@BangoSkank

Hank shook his head "Technology," he sighed as he downed the last of the contents of his Alamo beer can "Dale alright h'wut is this 5G does Bobby have it?" he asked his old friend begrudgingly. Bobby seemed focused on his phone and the puff of the juul had made him believe less that the thing had propane in it as well as doubt his father which was no suprise.

[rocketrobie2]

Suddenly Bill walked over, joining the group. "Hank how is your wife Peggy, Hank." the casanova asked intently, aluminum can of alcohol clutched tightly in his grip. "Tell me Hank." Bill once more asked, nay, implored.

@Blackmist16

[Dark Cloud]

@rocketrobie2

"Bill uh," Hank stepped back from Bill "She's fine Bill h'why do you ask?" hesitantly he asked Bill.

[Dark Cloud]

@rocketrobie2

"Yeah man y-you acting uh...Dang ol weird...Bill man calm down your giving of them dang ol heebie-jeebies man" Boomhaeur told Bill.

[BangoSkank]

Dale shook his head. Bill had designs on Peggy and he didn't even know. The man was blind and if he wasn't careful sooner or later another man would have his way with Hanks wife. Embarrassing.

"You know," Dale said halfway between deciding between finishing his cigarette and lighting another or finishing his beer and going home to boil a fresh batch of Mountain Dew.

"Hank, maybe Ol' Peggy could take up Yoga with my Nancy. Peg ain't getting any younger and that Redcorn he's got one of them Indian Cloth Pyramid things he uses. Gets all kinds of steamy in there. Gotta be a good workout. Nancy always comes back sweaty and tired and goes straight to sleep. Doesn't even stop me from watching my X-Files boxset."