Sorta Off Topic, Roleplaying while in a relationship

[iFain]

So, I'm in a relationship for 5 years now. I've been role-playing for much longer. Anyway, at times the role-playing takes a more mature tone, meaning sex scenes and such. I dont know if I should feel guilty about those or not? Cause on the one hand, it is basically the same if I was reading a book with the same scenes, but on the other, its writing those scenes with someone else, which is what makes me feel guilty. Any insights?

[Dark Cloud]

@Kyux Do I have to be in a relationship to give you advice?

[iFain]

@Blackmist16 Not at all

[rebornfan320]

@Kyux I don't think you should feel guilty about it at all, at least from my lens. I think the feeling comes from the fact you are writing this with someone else that isn't from the person you are in a relationship with.
Plus having that experience I think helps the writing.

[BrokenPromise]

My RP characters have killed lots and lots of people, and I don't feel like a murder yet. so I don't think characters having sex is the same as, say, the players having sex.

Though I keep plenty of distance between myself and my characters. I'm usually not living vicariously through them, doing things that I'd like to do. If you look at the other person's character as their player, then your feelings of guilt will likely only get stronger after your character bumps uglies with them. Worst come to worst, you can talk to your partner about it.

Who knows, they might really be into it.

[BrokenPromise]

Oh and by "talk to your partner" I meant your romantic partner, not writing partner.

[Zmija Sebastian]

Tell your girl, have her become your princess, take yourselves to war.

[Dark Cloud]

@Kyux I'm back:

As a symptom of your guilt you may feel this way because in your mind you may feel like you are 'cheating' on them in a way. But you probably would never do it IRL, but you feel guilty because it is a betrayal of trust in your mind.

You may just need to spice up your love life? Try different things as a couple be it romantic or carnal. Tell the truth if you want or try to be more involved in your love life if you aren't.

[Andreyich]

So, I'm in a relationship for 5 years now. I've been role-playing for much longer. Anyway, at times the role-playing takes a more mature tone, meaning sex scenes and such. I dont know if I should feel guilty about those or not? Cause on the one hand, it is basically the same if I was reading a book with the same scenes, but on the other, its writing those scenes with someone else, which is what makes me feel guilty. Any insights?

@Kyux

As a rule no but theres nuance. As long as ots the characters getting intimate, not you and your RP partner, who cares. I know of some dudes who take their RP too seriously and end up msging the girl they rping with to ask them to marry them as they go to divorce their irl wife.

[iFain]

Thank you for everyone who answered. I'm a girl, and I'm by no means getting attracted to the people I'm rping with, besides, I sometimes even play the male role... Thank you for helping me, it made me a bit more secure.

[Dark Cloud]

@Kyux Glad you got the help you needed.

[LostButterfly92]

I believe it is important to talk with your partner because everybody will have a different opinion about the matter because, unlike porn or erotica, roleplaying involves real people and potentially real emotions and feelings of attraction.

Some people might not care at all, some might just request no smut. Others might request no romance in general, and others might not be okay with roleplaying at all.

Personally I would be fine with my husband or partner roleplaying to their hearts content (smut included), as long as they still gave me love and attention at the end of the day and didn't share their body IRL.

But some are more sensitive, like my husband. Even though I've been roleplaying for ages he doesn't want me to do romance anymore because it could compromise my feelings and take attention away from him.

Just be careful not to let your emotions get carried away and know when to take a break or leave a roleplay or roleplay partner if you feel like you might hurt somebody for getting too involved. (I unfortunately know from experience...)

Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

[Angel Vicky]

As someone in the same boat. It is important to remember you are not your character and it is not real life. :)