@The Man Emperor
@Mintz and I have gone over the profile and have a few things we would like to see change and get clarification on before being able to accept your profile. We would be glad to work with you to figure out a direction you want to go in while keeping it within the world that has been created.
1: We would really appreciate a written description in the Appearance section. I know this might seem redundant but this allows us to get a feel on what your character likes to wear, how they view certain things, if there is anything particularly valuable to the character, and so on. Please look in the character tab for examples if you are unsure.
2: We are confused about the memory-altering of the father in the background. It feels a bit out of place and doesn’t seem necessary. We would like a bit more clarification on it and to see if there is any possible hidden importance on why that section is needed. We aren’t saying no yet but we just would like to know some of the reasoning as it feels abruptly placed in.
3: The Trigger event of this character is kept too vague for our liking. It is vague enough that we literally can't say in good faith that his Power fits the Trigger. If you could provide more detail or let us know if there is some hidden element we are missing that would really be helpful. We are also confused by the fact that it sounds like they ended up in a forest but Redline is a coastal city. We ask this because something that big (dragon form) leaving the city would have been a huge red flag so we need a bit more detail.
4: The Power has a lot going on and with such a vague Trigger it’s hard to know where to really start. We understand that subclasses exist but those are a direct correlation to a power and not so much additions to a power. Also, these powers all together contain almost half the classifications. It doesn’t seem to hold a deep reason other than playing to the dragon aesthetic which is where there is a problem if that is all that you are going for with the subclasses. That being said, some of the powers listed could be powers in their own right which is concerning as we are leaning towards overpowered. We can obviously work together to keep the aesthetic you are going for but fitting more for a Changer.
5: One of the aspects of the powers that we are flat out denying at this time is the ability to change into any animal. This is just not how Changers work as they are mostly bound to a single alternate form.
I hope you understand our points and are open to the corrections we have requested. We look forward to seeing the updates and again, are more than happy to work with you to get this so we can fully accept.
@Mintz and I have gone over the profile and have a few things we would like to see change and get clarification on before being able to accept your profile. We would be glad to work with you to figure out a direction you want to go in while keeping it within the world that has been created.
1: We would really appreciate a written description in the Appearance section. I know this might seem redundant but this allows us to get a feel on what your character likes to wear, how they view certain things, if there is anything particularly valuable to the character, and so on. Please look in the character tab for examples if you are unsure.
2: We are confused about the memory-altering of the father in the background. It feels a bit out of place and doesn’t seem necessary. We would like a bit more clarification on it and to see if there is any possible hidden importance on why that section is needed. We aren’t saying no yet but we just would like to know some of the reasoning as it feels abruptly placed in.
3: The Trigger event of this character is kept too vague for our liking. It is vague enough that we literally can't say in good faith that his Power fits the Trigger. If you could provide more detail or let us know if there is some hidden element we are missing that would really be helpful. We are also confused by the fact that it sounds like they ended up in a forest but Redline is a coastal city. We ask this because something that big (dragon form) leaving the city would have been a huge red flag so we need a bit more detail.
4: The Power has a lot going on and with such a vague Trigger it’s hard to know where to really start. We understand that subclasses exist but those are a direct correlation to a power and not so much additions to a power. Also, these powers all together contain almost half the classifications. It doesn’t seem to hold a deep reason other than playing to the dragon aesthetic which is where there is a problem if that is all that you are going for with the subclasses. That being said, some of the powers listed could be powers in their own right which is concerning as we are leaning towards overpowered. We can obviously work together to keep the aesthetic you are going for but fitting more for a Changer.
5: One of the aspects of the powers that we are flat out denying at this time is the ability to change into any animal. This is just not how Changers work as they are mostly bound to a single alternate form.
I hope you understand our points and are open to the corrections we have requested. We look forward to seeing the updates and again, are more than happy to work with you to get this so we can fully accept.