Hidden 9 mos ago Post by Achronum
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Achronum

Achronum The Pyro

Member Seen 2 hrs ago

@Andreyich I guess my concern about the age is the heart of the story -

At the end of the day, ATLA is a coming of age story where characters who have experienced things one way are thrown into situations that force them to look themselves in the mirror and make hard choices, growing as they do into the people they are at the end. It feels like this older character has already gone on this journey and come out, unfortunately, the worst for wear as a result.

Talk to me more about how he'll grow and what your end goal is for his character arc as he embarks on this new chair in his life.
1x Like Like
Hidden 9 mos ago 9 mos ago Post by Andreyich
Raw
Avatar of Andreyich

Andreyich AS THOUGH A THOUSAND MOUTHS CRY OUT IN PAIN

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@Andreyich I guess my concern about the age is the heart of the story -

At the end of the day, ATLA is a coming of age story where characters who have experienced things one way are thrown into situations that force them to look themselves in the mirror and make hard choices, growing as they do into the people they are at the end. It feels like this older character has already gone on this journey and come out, unfortunately, the worst for wear as a result.

Talk to me more about how he'll grow and what your end goal is for his character arc as he embarks on this new chair in his life.

I suppose, in that I have somewhat mistook the RP's intent for while in the setting I didn't think we'd follow quite the team avatar dynamics (especially with the minimum character age being 18 xD)

My answer then, I think I would make twofold.

His own journey begins as a jaded person unable to trust, because he feels that nobody in the world matches his own standards of being duty-oriented, loyal, truthful, etc. he will have to come to terms with the fact that people aren't evil just because they are not flawless exemplars of these things. At the same time, fighting against former comrades, he will be conflicted on if he is doing what is best since he still believes in a lot of the Earth Kingdom's supposed ideals. Moreover, he is now a traitor, doesn't that make him a hypocrite when he's all about duty and honour? In a sentence, his journey will come to be about realizing it is okay to believe in something, even if you can't live up to it. That he must tolerate imperfections both in himself, and in others. On a similar but not identical note, his journey will be about learning to let go. From family that is now possibly happier without him (and would be endangered if he visited them as a rebel, and his wife probably would have remarried as instructed by Temujin to further safeguard their children), to slights real or perceived from other characters (as well as getting over the fact many of them would have been enemy combatants just a few years ago), to possibly forgiving some of the people that helped bring his ruination as the party or he personally captures them, Temujin must let go. Just get over things, leave them in the past. Maybe also somewhat of a Zuko-esque journey in convincing everybody (and himself) that despite the fact he probably burned villages that their friends once lived in, he's a decent guy beneath it all.

The second part of the answer is that perhaps he can be the one to help facilitate the growth of some of the other characters as he gets closer to them, using age and wisdom or simply being there for them when they suffer, not wanting them to go through pain that he has gone through alone. A more recurring version of Iroh, Paku, Guru Patek, Jong Jong, etc. Although perhaps you were wanting to leave that entirely to NPCs/GMPCs.

P.S. I edited the sheet to account for your first two points.
1x Like Like
Hidden 9 mos ago Post by Kronshi
Raw
Avatar of Kronshi

Kronshi What Am I?

Member Seen 2 hrs ago

@Kronshi Okay, so after reading this is definitely a solid base but a few questions on this:

1 - Your sheet states that he makes friends with Fire Nation citizens easily. I wanted to touch base to make sure you understood that the Fire Nation citizenship does not like the air benders as a whole right now. Their decision not to take any action in the war has painted them in a nasty light, and the regular citizen knows this. Having individuals friends that are understanding makes sense, but overall public perception of this character as a person in the Fire Nation is very, very poor.

2 - Most of your character's details only mention him in relation to his training and his relationship with the air temple. Who is he, what does he like, what does he do in his free time, and what sort of travels has he gone on that have impacted him in his time as a messenger. The world is in the state of unrest, and has been even before the formal declaration of war, and despite his worldliness, he feels relatively 2D.

3 - Finding the Avatar is a great point in this, but what were his motivations before this? What are his plans once the he reaches his goal? As someone who chafes against the chains of tradition, why is he comfortable accepting what they say instead of changing?

Like I said, it's a solid foundation but it feels a little incomplete and not fully attached to the world. I want to learn more about him as a person, not just his attitude!


1 - I meant it more as an he gets along with them not necessarily that they get along with him. Like, he likes Fire Nation mentality and ideology so he sees them as potential allies very quickly type of thing. However, since the first actual attack was a year ago, he had time before that to befriend a few people I would think. Please correct me if that's wrong.

2 - I will definitely work on adding this, but I would suggest adding more sections for deeper character info than just Personality and Background if you wanted more than that. The CS was simple so I thought to keep things simple.

3 - Read 2.
3x Like Like
Hidden 9 mos ago Post by Crimson Flame
Raw
Avatar of Crimson Flame

Crimson Flame *Insert something profound here*

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@Crimson Flame

I'm concerned that you either skipped over the OOC or didn't fully engage with it. Your sheet has no mention of the current war, that officially started last year, or his thoughts on the issue of being cut off from the Northern Water tribe and having resources stretched thin in an unstainable effort to protect an ally that can't do anything in return. I highly recommend you review the OOC for other details like the world leaders, as there isn't a chief Nukka of the Southern Water tribe.

Your personality section is aggressively excessive. Your character is all over the place and while that may well be the energy he has, pull him back and build a better foundation for his personality. I don't see a natural direction for him to grow off the bat and I think cutting down on the over explaining and tightening his sense of self will help give that direction. He is full if little paradoxes that leave him feeling like he isn't finished, like we didn't make choices just said he'll be everything.

Overall, the character needs more focus and you need a better understanding of the world to really connect it to the rp. I'm happy to answer any questions you have after you review the OOC!


The reference to Nukka was from another RP, and I forgot to remove that. Lol, my bad.

The rest. I’ll work on tomorrow.
1x Like Like
Hidden 9 mos ago Post by Hero
Raw
GM
Avatar of Hero

Hero Sincerest of Knights

Member Seen 2 mos ago



gettin exciteddd
Hidden 9 mos ago Post by Asura
Raw
Avatar of Asura

Asura it hurts

Member Seen 19 hrs ago

Hidden 9 mos ago Post by Kronshi
Raw
Avatar of Kronshi

Kronshi What Am I?

Member Seen 2 hrs ago



Edited. Hopefully this is better. Let me know if it still needs work.
Hidden 9 mos ago Post by Thayr
Raw
Avatar of Thayr

Thayr

Member Seen 15 hrs ago

How long has it been since the removal of King Xiong?
Kicking about the idea of a former Dai Li agent, but I need to fit together the timeline.
Hidden 9 mos ago Post by Achronum
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Achronum

Achronum The Pyro

Member Seen 2 hrs ago

@Andreyich I can see where that wasn't direct enough!

Thank you for the seriousness of that response and after some discussion, we think that this character is good but not quite the right vibe for this particular RP. You're right, he does present perfectly as a Jong Jong type character but that role type is filled by NPCs. While we do want characters to help each other grow, we're aiming for people being on a similar maturity level in the beginning.

So while I think k this character is solid in the way it is now, it's not quite the character we are looking for I this rp.
1x Like Like
Hidden 9 mos ago Post by JewelSerket
Raw
Avatar of JewelSerket

JewelSerket

Member Seen 1 mo ago

@JewelSerket okie dokie, your turn!

1 - This is sadly unplayable unless you could justify this character going with the team right out the bat. We aren't planning on running opposing player factions in this so you won't have the opportunity to develop that realization IC.

2 - This is more possible but unfortunately, the players need to join The Rebellion - a group dedicated to bringing down King Wei and putting the Earth Kongdom back in their place. This is very at odds with the character's motivations.

3 - This is the most realistic idea but the Rebellion is small right now. War, fighting, and other aspects of this conflict are this character's primary source of income and joining the Rebellion would be a full time job, taking away their time and freedom to do so in favor of hunting the Avatar. Why would mercenaries, Bounty Hunters, and other for hire warriors are thriving in this, why give that up? Why is the pointless loss of life so important to a character who gets paid to hunt people and sometimes kill them?


Alright! Let me rework my thoughts a bit.

The new idea is a sort of mash up of 2 and 3. That’s mostly because I started to like the idea of a traveling performer the more I thought about it last night.

She was a fire bending traveling player (theatrical performer), trained from her youth in storytelling and acrobatic performance. However, she spent her life in the shadow of her brother, who became quite famous. It caused her to build up a resentment towards her family. When she saw the beams of light, she saw her chance to leave the nest and create a legend that would make her as famous as her brother.

Her goal would be to find the avatar, though there are several reasons for that. Firstly, finding the avatar means a sort of underdog story where the Fire and Water nations win the war. This alone would be a great legend to tell, but being one of the people who found the avatar would put her in a unique position. Not only would she be one of the people in that legend, but she’d have the unique role of having taken part in it.

Secondly, I might still grapple with that loath for a waste of life. I’m not quite sure how yet, but I think it’d be interesting for her to tackle that in conjunction with her need for an interesting story (especially since those often involve death). Though I’m not entirely sold on the idea yet.

Thirdly, she fears the Earth Nation’s takeover. She knows that it would result in her arrest. Even if it didn’t, there would be no way she’d be allowed to perform, especially with her fire bending. That would take away her life’s purpose.
Hidden 9 mos ago Post by Hero
Raw
GM
Avatar of Hero

Hero Sincerest of Knights

Member Seen 2 mos ago

<Snipped quote by Achronum>

Alright! Let me rework my thoughts a bit.

The new idea is a sort of mash up of 2 and 3. That’s mostly because I started to like the idea of a traveling performer the more I thought about it last night.

She was a fire bending traveling player (theatrical performer), trained from her youth in storytelling and acrobatic performance. However, she spent her life in the shadow of her brother, who became quite famous. It caused her to build up a resentment towards her family. When she saw the beams of light, she saw her chance to leave the nest and create a legend that would make her as famous as her brother.

Her goal would be to find the avatar, though there are several reasons for that. Firstly, finding the avatar means a sort of underdog story where the Fire and Water nations win the war. This alone would be a great legend to tell, but being one of the people who found the avatar would put her in a unique position. Not only would she be one of the people in that legend, but she’d have the unique role of having taken part in it.

Secondly, I might still grapple with that loath for a waste of life. I’m not quite sure how yet, but I think it’d be interesting for her to tackle that in conjunction with her need for an interesting story (especially since those often involve death). Though I’m not entirely sold on the idea yet.

Thirdly, she fears the Earth Nation’s takeover. She knows that it would result in her arrest. Even if it didn’t, there would be no way she’d be allowed to perform, especially with her fire bending. That would take away her life’s purpose.


Is this scenario with your character in their homeland of the Fire Nation? 'Cause you'd have to consider how they got from the Fire Nation to the Earth Kingdom, unless maybe she already lived in a Fire Nation settlement in the Earth Kingdom. And if she was already there, the Fire Nation was attacked a year ago and every non-Earthbender has essentially gone into hiding since as any non-Earthbenders have gotten arrested and shipped away. I also seemed to have missed your character's thoughts on the war affecting her homeland.
Hidden 9 mos ago 9 mos ago Post by Eviledd1984
Raw
Avatar of Eviledd1984

Eviledd1984 Narn Liberator

Member Seen 15 min ago

@Hero

I am interested in joining this rp. I had an idea for a grumpy water, fire, or earth bender. I was just curious if you would allow my character any of the specialized bending techniques (i.e. blood bending, metal bending, lightning bending etc?)
Hidden 9 mos ago Post by Hero
Raw
GM
Avatar of Hero

Hero Sincerest of Knights

Member Seen 2 mos ago

@Hero

I am interested in joining this rp. I had an idea for a grumpy water, fire, or earth bender. I was just curious if you would allow my character any of the specialized bending techniques (i.e. blood bending, metal bending, lightning bending etc?)


Allo, the timeline's been altered so many of the specialized bending techniques have yet to be discovered by the public. The most plausible to be known pre-rp would be lightningbending with the pre-requisite of being of the royal family or nobility. Hope that answers the question!
1x Like Like
Hidden 9 mos ago Post by Eviledd1984
Raw
Avatar of Eviledd1984

Eviledd1984 Narn Liberator

Member Seen 15 min ago

<Snipped quote by Eviledd1984>

Allo, the timeline's been altered so many of the specialized bending techniques have yet to be discovered by the public. The most plausible to be known pre-rp would be lightningbending with the pre-requisite of being of the royal family or nobility. Hope that answers the question!


Thank you for answering my question. Since we already have a fire and air bender, I'm thinking of making an earth or water bender.
Hidden 9 mos ago Post by Hero
Raw
GM
Avatar of Hero

Hero Sincerest of Knights

Member Seen 2 mos ago

<Snipped quote by Hero>

Thank you for answering my question. Since we already have a fire and air bender, I'm thinking of making an earth or water bender.


Feel free to do as you please, there's only one accepted character so far and the thread will stay open for the rest of the week
2x Like Like
Hidden 9 mos ago 9 mos ago Post by Xandrya
Raw
Avatar of Xandrya

Xandrya Lone Wolf

Member Seen 2 hrs ago

N/A
Hidden 9 mos ago Post by JewelSerket
Raw
Avatar of JewelSerket

JewelSerket

Member Seen 1 mo ago

Is this scenario with your character in their homeland of the Fire Nation? 'Cause you'd have to consider how they got from the Fire Nation to the Earth Kingdom, unless maybe she already lived in a Fire Nation settlement in the Earth Kingdom. And if she was already there, the Fire Nation was attacked a year ago and every non-Earthbender has essentially gone into hiding since as any non-Earthbenders have gotten arrested and shipped away. I also seemed to have missed your character's thoughts on the war affecting her homeland.


She would have definitely been born in the Fire Nation, though I could see her having toured with her family out of the nation. May I ask generally where I should expect her to be from the start of the rp? That way I could work from there as to how she got there.

As for her thoughts on the war effecting her homeland, she fears the loss of her culture. She believes that the Earth Nation's takeover is going to wipe out the culture of her people.
Hidden 9 mos ago Post by Hero
Raw
GM
Avatar of Hero

Hero Sincerest of Knights

Member Seen 2 mos ago

<Snipped quote by Hero>

She would have definitely been born in the Fire Nation, though I could see her having toured with her family out of the nation. May I ask generally where I should expect her to be from the start of the rp? That way I could work from there as to how she got there.

As for her thoughts on the war effecting her homeland, she fears the loss of her culture. She believes that the Earth Nation's takeover is going to wipe out the culture of her people.


The rp is starting in a fishing village in the south. Looking forward to the sheet as I think it'll answer any other questions I might have.
2x Like Like
Hidden 9 mos ago Post by Hero
Raw
GM
Avatar of Hero

Hero Sincerest of Knights

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Double post but friendly reminder there is a Discord for ease of access, it's also the fastest way to get an answer to any questions. Otherwise, feel free to ask here.
Hidden 9 mos ago 9 mos ago Post by Andreyich
Raw
Avatar of Andreyich

Andreyich AS THOUGH A THOUSAND MOUTHS CRY OUT IN PAIN

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@Andreyich I can see where that wasn't direct enough!

Thank you for the seriousness of that response and after some discussion, we think that this character is good but not quite the right vibe for this particular RP. You're right, he does present perfectly as a Jong Jong type character but that role type is filled by NPCs. While we do want characters to help each other grow, we're aiming for people being on a similar maturity level in the beginning.

So while I think k this character is solid in the way it is now, it's not quite the character we are looking for I this rp.


All fair enough, and in light of this he was reworked while keeping some of the same vibe.

↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet