[OOC] Sanctuary

[Sage]

And yeah, Gamer, welcome to the crew!

[gamer5]

Thanks, I will be waiting for your feedback on the CS I sent you.

[Sage]

Alright, if 2/3 GM's accept it, you're in!

[BBeast]

The Red Zephyr said
At this point, Weston is more of a dishonored soldier, but yeah "honorable soldier" works. Will post tonight or tomorrow night for sure.

He works hard to maintain his own honour. This is why he has been 'dishonoured' by the military, as the military have abandoned their own honour. At least, that's how I see it.

Now add a forthright mechanic to the list.

[The Red Zephyr]

So yeah, Imma be pretty busy cuz I'm moving out of my parents' house soon. Plenty of preparations, drama, and other bullshit will definitely cut into my RPing time, but it won't be for a couple weeks. I'll try to RP as much as I can while I can.

Also, I vote against gamer joining. I didn't find that the CS and writing sample met our writing standards.

That means the ultimate decision about gamer5 is left to Skai.

[Skai]

I think that all of the Weapons are a little too powerful. If shes limited a little weapon-wise, she should be good. Make sure that cores arent her usual fighting style, either. We already have enough people with expertise on cores.

On the subject of the writing sample, I think you could do a lot better. If you really want to join this RP, Id like to see a better sample. You seem to have a lot of run-ons and comma splices. Plus, you dont need a colon ( : ) whenever your character speaks. There are also little typing errors. I dont know if that was just rushed typing, a special condition, or small mistakes. All Im asking for is just more effort grammar and writing wise.

[AnriuSB]

sorry about dissappearing yesterday, internet was down.

[BBeast]

Gamer, I do hope you can satisfy the GM's and get in. While you're doing some thinking about that, I have some comments about your character and specifically the engineering you have written that she has done. Of course, these are mostly rather trivial and technical details, but such details would probably help more-realistically shape the character of highly-skilled mechanic.

One thing I noticed was time. She's only 22 years of age, yet she's already created highly advanced pieces of military machinery? Her apprenticeship started at 16. That would last at least 2 years, or probably 4 because this core-mechanics is a complex thing. That leaves 2-4 years between exiting her education/apprenticeship and the present day. She and her team must work fast, then. Something like a weapons-grade laser would take a long time to make practical, as you'd be hard pressed to find a practical way to cool it that doesn't limit it to a few shots (I imagine that some cold cores, which I presume exist, would either have to be very big or replaced every couple of shots, neither of which are good options). Something like a blade made of whizzing dust held together by kinetic cores would take a long time to make it work at all, and even longer to be practical enough to be useful. And this being military contracts you wouldn't get away with jury-rigging something together, so R&D for a single invention would take time.

That's not saying Ewera couldn't have done all that in the given time. She'd just have to have been working very, very hard, or she's some kind of prodigy. Perhaps the shortage of time explains why her Hallowback is so unreliable.

On a scientific note, electricity doesn't work in such a way that you can specify both the voltage and amperage for a source of electricity. You can create a definite voltage, but amperage is determined by the resistance of the path it must take. Do also note that it takes 10,000 V to arc across 1cm of dry air. A 1200V lightning bolt is nothing. By comparison table-top Van de Graaf generators can produce a hundred thousand volts. Yes, if you held a wire with a 1200V electric current running through it you'd probably die, but if you attempted to fire that at someone you might make their hair stand on end if you're lucky. Your voltage at the target, which is what you would care about, would vary by distance and atmospheric conditions, meaning saying 'it has 300V at this mode and 1200V at this mode' is hard to support. Perhaps omitting the voltages and currents of your lightning turret would avoid this issue, meaning you can say 'it just works' and leave it at that.

But do not fret. Such details are not vitally important. Stuff like grammar and power balance are much more important, as the GMs above have mentioned, so put fretting into those if need be. I just wish to help you construct a more realistic character by putting out a few points of consideration.

[Sage]

Hell yeah BBeast! That's what I like to see B) homies lookin out for each other.

Gamer I agree to everything said in the recent posts. Shouldn't be much of a problem to fix it, I believe in you!

[GreenGoat]

will post by tonight. ^^;

Been lurking so much forgot I needed to post.

[Sage]

GreenGoat said
will post by tonight. ^^;Been lurking so much forgot I needed to post.

Lol silly goat.

[gamer5]

Did some changes:
1. Run the whole things trough Word's spell-check to kill any mistakes which I have overlooked.
2. Noted that the Blaze is effective only against materials with low heat resistance.
3. More info about Team MEAR Design, which is a team off people (which included Ewera) which build most of Ewera's gear.
4. Removed the specified details for the makeshift turret of Ewera's Hallowback.
5. Added two years to Ewera's age.

What should be noted:
1. Ewera actually worked in a team; most of the inventions that were made during her stay in Wintra were made with her as a part of the team. The Razor is one of the rare inventions that Ewera made by herself (as a request for a heavy-duty stone cutting tool).
2. Ewera doesn't have a fighting style, just some marksmanship skill. Her equipment might be Core-based but she is good at making stuff which uses Cores, not into understanding how Cores works. Basically she is a down-to ground mechanic with some past climbing experience.
3. About her gear. If you consider the fact that Ewera has no Kage and I don't plan on her getting one then her equipment is the only thing between her and death. Consider the fact that Ewera has and will not have a Kage and the fact that she lacks any kind of actual military training.

LAST!!!
I will not even bother to argue about your comments on the grammar in my CS and Sample. I cloud argue and probably win. But I will not due to the respect I have to you as GMs and the fact that I do not want to bother with that.

[Fat Boy Kyle]

gamer5 said
About her gear. If you consider the fact that Ewera has no Kage and I don't plan on her getting one then her equipment is the only thing between her and death. Consider the fact that Ewera has and will not have a Kage and the fact that she lacks any kind of actual military training.

Pretty fair point actually, however!

gamer5 said
LAST!!![NO SPACE]I will not even bother to argue about your comments on the grammar in my CS and Sample. I cloud argue and [would] probably win.

When presenting a retort about grammar you should really take that extra time to ensure the grammar is spot on! :P

[Skai]

gamer5 said I will not even bother to argue about your comments on the grammar in my CS and Sample. I cloud argue and probably win. But I will not due to the respect I have to you as GMs and the fact that I do not want to bother with that.

Does this mean that you will willingly work to improve your writing? We may have a few members that don't have perfect grammar, but their grammar is decent enough to understand. To be honest, yours wasn't as easy to read. I'm all for letting you join, but I will not tolerate as many errors as there were in your writing sample. I hope the second one is much better. (If you've written it already, will you PM it to me?)

[Sage]

Fat Boy Kyle said
Pretty fair point actually, however!When presenting a retort about grammar you should really take that extra time to ensure the grammar is spot on! :P

HAHAHA Kyle you killin everyone over here

[Sage]

And yeah, yo, I'm gonna repeat what I said: No one here has perfect posts, but its pretty obvious that our posts show obvious effort to minimize the grammatical goofs and spelling errors. This is a HIGH casual rp, yo. I was thinkin about making it advanced. You really couldn't argue and "win" because ultimately... we're the judges of what we deem acceptable in our rp or not. In essence, you're trying to say you can prove the judge wrong, when really, the judge decides what the standard is and what's right or wrong. Sure, we may expect more than most casual rp's, but hey, that's just how we roll.

I already accepted you, and Zeph had valid points. Skai is willing to accept you, as well, but I respect that you chose not to argue about the whole grammar and spelling thing. I hope this doesn't mean you're going to IGNORE IT. Honestly, it isn't THAT much work, and a lot of your posts will be collabs. And in collabs (since we're all homies) you have more people there to fix your errors while you write (with your permission of course). So yeah, don't frown about it. Just do it, yo!

---

Now onto things that are ACTUALLY debate worthy. Since I already accepted your character, I can't say much, but that I hope you'll be able to moderate your power. I only accepted your weapon because of the reason that you won't have any power. Why did I accept? Because usually, when I ask people "you think you'll be able to control your OP'ness?" they laugh it off like "of course, I'm no noob." So, I'm going to ASSUME you can keep her in control. This means no super-killing machine mode without permission and no super-discovery/invention mode without permission.

Other than that, if you agree to what Skai said, then you're already in! WOO!

[Sage]

Also, sorry for triple posting (I miss the old RPG thing where it just auto edited) but I like yo post goat.

[AnriuSB]

nice posts guys.

[BBeast]

gamer5 said 1. Ewera actually worked in a team; most of the inventions that were made during her stay in Wintra were made with her as a part of the team. The Razor is one of the rare inventions that Ewera made by herself (as a request for a heavy-duty stone cutting tool).

I was aware of that. But that doesn't mean it takes a short period of time. For some real-life comparisons, it take 2-3 years for a company to develop a new car, 5 years to invent the M1 Abrams tank, and about 1 year to invent the AK-47. If you go into novel or little-explored technology, such as weapon lasers and immaterial blades, you can easily add a year or more on top of that. As I said, it's not quite impossible, just rather difficult. An extra two years would make a lot of difference.

On a specific note, the Blaze laser would still get hotter than a propellant firearm, especially since the beam needs to be concentrated somehow. Perhaps the heat (and damage) would be comparable to a fire core weapon instead, except being a laser it can be fired continuously but it would get much hotter that way. I'd suggest a water-core-powered liquid cooling system could cool it enough to avoid having it overheat too quickly. It would be reasonable for it to slowly cut through metal, given breaks every few seconds.

P.S. In my personal opinion, a whizzing beam of diamond dust, even with kinetic cores, doesn't sound any more effective at cutting than a chainsaw and has the con of requiring both sides of the object you are requiring to cut to be within reach. But that's just my opinion. There exists no information about the cutting power of grains of diamond propelled by magical stones.

[gamer5]

BTW. Skai said yes via PM.

Also Zephyr I do not know which CS did you refer all time since I made regular changes to the one on the Character Sheet Thread. I was wondering if your opinion is about my original CS or the latest version of the one in the CS Thread. Just curious.

As for your comment BB.

1. I work under assumption that such technologies (railguns and lasers) or similar enough ones have been developed in this setting, which is more technologically advanced then Earth, for civilian needs like magnetically accelerated elevators, laser-driven fusion reactors and so on.

The amount of inventions (by inventions I mean patents) one person on or a team makes varies greatly. Sometimes one team can make tens of patents in a single year while the next year they will make none. Accidental inspirations and breakthroughs are also possible, for example penicillin was found by pure confidence. Also a team working on multiple projects is also not uncommon.

MEAR was primarily used well established technologies in uncommon uses (like for example a laser used like a Personal Defense Weapon) so their primary problems were how to make reliable, effective and adequately well designed inventions which cloud be sold to potential customers. That is why they were made out of 3 engineers/mechanics and a designer. That means that in the 5-6 years of it's existed it cloud have, being realistic, made anywhere between 5 and 50 patents on its own.

2. Blaze's Light Core creates the laser DIRECTLY which results in a quite small heat strain on the gun itself (since the beam doesn't touch any part of the gun). On the other hand this makes the beam unfocused and ineffective against armored targets. This was in mind since the Blaze was meant to be a Personal Defense Weapon as well as an emergency tool to clean vegetation or light fires. If it were to be focused then the heat strain would be large and would require a cooling system but would be able to cut trough most materials with ease. As it is currently the Blaze is not strong enough to quickly melt away thicker iron plating, not to talk about steel; actually an enough big and thick iron plate with air cooling would be able to stop Blaze from affecting it at all.

3. Diamond-tipped drills and blades are some of the strongest tools widely in commercial use and are used in a variety of forms, from small drills/blades used to cut trough hard rock or metals, over large diamond-tipped blades used to cut some of the sturdiest rocks know to man to the deep-mining diamond-tipped drills which can reach well into depths of over 10 kilometers into the Earth. Diamond is the sturdiest naturally occurring mineral and a stream of diamond dust at a speed of around 100 km/h would be one of the best weapon/tools that you cloud wish for (note that at 100 km/h even the quite fragile CD can easily cut trough a human neck). Also it forms an arch so your statement about its con is not entirely true.