Favorite RP quotes...

[Dinh AaronMk]

"Colors danced in a kaleidoscope pattern set against neon grey. Breasts floated down like raindrops, morphing and confusing him. Where was he? Was there music? He heard familiar voices.

"An old man from Kars was feeding the soldiers." the voice started, "And the soldiers asked why the man lived alone."

Sahle stayed in the titscape. The voice continued. "He says 'See that fence over there? I laid every stone by hand, building it up for miles. But do they call me Ohanjan the Fence Builder? No.' "

" 'See that tank over there? I built it out of spare parts, piece by piece, and sold it to the government to help fight the Turks, but do they call me Ohanjan the Tankman? Pah!' "

" 'Look over there at that church. I rebuilt it with my nephews, and we restored it so the priests could hold services in there again. Do they call me Ohanjan the Godly?' "

The voice began to crack. " 'But you fuck one goat!"' it said before laughing. Sahle watched a final tit-bubble float down. Inside was a goat. It bleated, and the tit burst along with his dream. He woke up."

- Sahle's Dream, Precipice of War. VilagidiotX

Oh, and then there's this piece of work:

""You approached me, and I was already having a rather talkative day." Dimitri signals over the waiter, and ignores the look he gives his burns. "I'll take a cherry pepsi, large pepperoni and bacon pepsi..... And spaghetti..."

"S-sir, you can't come in here with no shirt on... You will s-scare the other gues-s-sts-s." The waiter writes down the order anyways, and turns to the girl. "How about you mis-s-s.""

[Dinh AaronMk]

-Mahz fix your forum so people stop double posting-

[ASTA]

Dinh AaronMk said
-Mahz fix your forum so people stop double posting-

Dealing with the 504s would be great too.

[Bad Wolf]

Trying to think of some amusing quotations from past roleplays... Hmm... I mostly have ones from live games, DnD or otherwise.

---

"I run out of the room, touching myself furiously." - a paladin hastily applying Lay on Hands

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DM: Running down the hallway, you see a door.

PLAYER: I open the door.

DM: You see a Beholder.

PLAYER: I close the door.

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Yeah... That's all I can think of right now. I'm sure there's more, though. Somewhere in my brain...

[Keyguyperson]

"Lautusia happens to have hentai about the crew of the Maria."
-Excerpt from an OOC conversation. The Maria was a prototype bioship in the roleplay A Hundred Years Later

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"The Antarctic Union launches anti missile missile missiles against the Malkrantian anti missile missiles."
"Malkrantia launches anti missile missile missile missiles against the Antarctic Union anti missile missile missiles"
-Excerpt from Untold Empires

---

THE YEAR IS 2091. THE TELEVISION INDUSTRY IS IN TURMOIL AS THE NEWLY DEVELOPED SHOW, "MY LITTLE FISH" IS BEING RELEASED. BILLIONS CONTINUE TO REVOLT IN CHAOS EVERYDAY THAT THE CONFLICT CONTINUES. THE WORLD HAS LOST ALL HOPE OF FREEDOM AS THE FASCIST TELEVISION SHOW FORCES ITSELF INTO THE HOMES OF TRILLIONS. THE ONLY VESTIGE LEFT UNSCATHED BY THE CONFLICT IS THE NORTHERN EUROPEAN COALITION, WHO HAS DEFIED ALL ODDS AND DENIED THE SHOW ACCESS WITHIN THEIR BORDERS. THOUSANDS CONTINUE TO DIE EVERYDAY AS THE CONFLICT CONTINUES...
-Also Untold Empires, this was what happened when people stopped shooting at each other. I swear, we weren't high.

[The Silver Paladin]

From an RP on another website:
"You really need to stop it."
"Why?"
You're ruining the Potato Salad."
Romulus looked confused for a moment. He took his hand off of the table and relalized, it was covered in Potato Salad.
"How the heck can you eat Potato Salad at this time? Diablo is rising and your logic is just "Oh! I'm hungry! Better get prepared for a Picnic."
"But. I-."
"No Buts, now let's go kill some undead!

This was taken from a Diablo themed roleplay at a moment when Comic relief was needed. up until then We had lost 3 members of our team when they were disemboweled.

[RBYDark]

My best instances come from a roll20 campaign. First one speaks for itself:

Player: Do I need to make a reflex save to avoid being hit by decapitated heads?

The second one needs some set-up: there's a whisper command used by typing '/w [character name]', and my character is new to the group - a servant of the Duke who hired the party. The group failed its mission to kill the head of a clan of raiding drow, and several members, one named Leo, are in favor of lying to the Duke. My character is not and has insisted she will tell the Duke the truth. We get back to town, go to the Duke, who of course asks what happened and if he should send the party back out instead of getting soldiers. The following was all posted within half a minute or so:

Cyanak: "The main reason for failure is that the drow, we discovered, were highly adapted for fighting in the dark. Their lair was unlit, and they had many traps in waiting. I do admit that these fighters know what to expect from fighting a drow, which simple discussion cannot give."
Leo: ./w Milwertz Let's get cyanak if she does not comply on taking us
Leo: actually
Cyanak: (GEE THANKS)
Leo.: cyanak don't read the post above

[The Silver Paladin]

Oh also in a D&D campaign:
Npc: Dost thou turn thyself Downward?
Me: What
another player: "Turn don for what!"

[Ellri]

Not a quote per se, but still something we'd like to do as DM sometime... tell the players this: "make a roll for save against bad idea."