[IC] Divine Hijinks

[KuroTenshi]

"Innkeeper, I request a room."

The man behind the reception desk looked away from the computer to guest standing in front of him. The young woman was not the strangest looking guest he had seen, but still her appearance gave him pause. She was dressed as though she had stepped out of the middle ages. It was certainly the best costume he had seen from a convention goer. Even the black wolf pelt on her shoulder's looked real, especially the giant teeth attached to the muzzle. The wide belt decorated with what appeared to be a celtic tree of life caught his eye next, bringing his attention to the sword attached to it.

That had to have been expensive.

Her dark red dress (or was it a tunic?) looked like it had seen better days, but maybe that was the look she had been going for. A tired, world weary traveling warrior? If that was the case, she nailed it with the fake dirt lightly dusting her skin and a braid that looked like it was slowly becoming undone.

Did she have to act like the character though? That was just weird.

"Hello! Welcome to the Four Seasons. What name is your reservation under?" He asked politely with a smile, his hand hovering over his keyboard.

The woman blew a loose lock of hair from her face before pulling a small pouch from her belt. She dug inside before tossing four 'gold' coins onto the counter.

He laughed, more from surprise and to be polite. "That's funny," He grinned at her. "But, name please?"

The young woman narrowed her pale green eyes at him. "Thee dare to laugh at my coin?" She asked him, sounding offended and frustrated.

The next chuckle was a bit more nervous. Oh great, one of those hard core nerds. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I just need your name miss."

"I am Rikive, daughter of Heimdall."

He blinked. "Is that the black guy from the Thor movies?"

"Ingrate!" 'Rikive' shouted, swiping her coins off the counter. "How dare thee mock my father's name!"

The receptionist could only stare, dumbfounded as the woman turned and stormed off through the lobby toward the exit.

Well...that was a story for over coffee.

======

Rikive was seething as she slammed open the glass door to the magnificent inn. It was as grand and beautiful as any hall she had ever seen, but just like everywhere else on Midgard, her coin was rejected as suitable payment. Was gold not as valuable here in the realm of mortals?

This whole venture was becoming more and more grating. Food was near impossible to purchase, the few times she needed to sleep it had to be outside and she had not had a proper bath in a while. The last time she had tried to bathe in a stream she had found a disgusting man watching her from the bushes.

Rikive stopped outside of the doors and took a deep breath while shutting her eyes, rubbing her temples. Midgard had certainly changed since the last time her father or any of her aunts and uncles had visited it.

Sensing someone approaching her she opened her eyes to see actually a group of young men making their way to her. They were fairly decent looking, but the sight of their clothing made her want to snort. Such strange sense of dress these mortals had.

"Hi," One of them greeted her with a wide grin. "That's an awesome costume."

"Good evening and I thank thee. Thy garb is impressive as well." A lie, but a polite one as the man had just complimented her...At least she think he did.

"Oh, thanks." He chuckled, brushing his hand down the brightly colored shirt he was wearing. "Uh, hey, we're going up to a party in the penthouse. Would you like to join us?" He said, motioning to the doors of the inn she had just exited. The two young men behind him shot each other looks, grinning at one another.

Rikive furrowed her eyebrows at the look. She was suspicious, but she would not say no to an invitation to feast. "I would be honored to join the festivities." She said respectfully with a small smile.

"Awesome!" The man that invited her shouted, stepping forward and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "My friends will get a real kick out of your costume."

"Ahaha, yes." She picked his arm off her shoulder and crossed her own over her chest, following the three of them inside the inn.

[Trinais]

"I swear to God, Buddha, Vishnu, and Quetzalcoatl, if you do not have baby pink streamers hanging from the ceiling in 2 minutes, I will FUCKING RIOT!"

'Bridezilla' was not a term that could be applied to Parry Magnus, Celestial/Angel in retirement. For one thing, anyone taking a look at him from across the street had a 50/50 shot of deciding whether he was the most flat-chested woman they'd ever seen or a man without cheekbones, Adam's apple, and a pair of immaculately manicured hands with designer clothes that'd put half the city's upper crust to shame. Parry preferred to manifest as male, but could technically pass off as whichever he wanted, not being a fleshy mortal like most people walking the Earth, but instead a formless creature born from a star and given purpose to hunt demonkind to extinction.

But 'Bridezilla' would capture the spirit of how Parry acted before he threw a party like this one. The Fairy Queen of the city's central park was expecting a baby girl, and since the bitch was an absolute terror when it came to high fashion and parties (she just couldn't have afternoon tea without switching a mortal with a changeling; and people called Parry impulsive) Parry decided to one-up her Summer Solstice bash the only way he knew how: beat the bitch at her own game. Throw a party that she couldn't hope to live down.

So he'd booked the penthouse of the city's swankiest hotel, a place reserved for the throwing of massive parties by the upper-crust, and turned it inside out. Baby Pink furniture, a DJ stand, an open bar (human alcohol had never affected Fae pregnancies, so another bonus there), finger foods galore, black lights and stage lights and Christmas lights atop others, and a small table for gifts the queen would probably never take but Parry could use for his own business. Another slight to her. Of course, at the head of the main room near the windowed balcony was a mahogany throne Parry'd rented. Where from, he'd never be able to say, because the decorators had gotten it on his request. They were that competent at least.

The offending decorators he'd hired had specifically told him they carried baby pink streamers to hang from the ceiling, and in such quantity to make a sea of vines, giving off a tunnel of love effect to everyone who stepped on the dance floor. But when Parry arrived and the decorators had finished their job, he didn't see baby baby pink streamers.

He saw Solid Pink.

And Solid Pink was not baby pink.

"Solid Pink streamers do not match the punch bowl," Parry said through grit teeth as the decorators started to raise the 'Solid Pink is good enough' argument. "They do not match the furniture. They do not match the cake or the cookies or the wine or the fucking carpet! Get it done!" And of course, the clock on Parry's AppleWatch dinged, announcing it was thirty minutes to party time. "No- better yet, get out! Now! All of you!"

"But we didn't even-"

Parry wasn't sure if his blue eyes turned to reflect the light of a blue dwarf star or if he was just that mad. Looking back, it could've been either. But the lead decorator and his coterie of helpers got one look at his face and tried to hide behind one another like a flock of chicks behind their mother hen.

"NOW!"

No further arguments from them. The whole lot swarmed into the elevator, pressed the 'Down' arrow and slammed the 'Close Door' button.

When he heard the DING! of the departing elevator, Parry had to shake himself to dispel the rage he was feeling. The streamers were vibrating from his anger, and he forced himself to take a few deep breaths in and out, drawing on the old meditation techniques Tien-Shu had taught him back in China. A clear mind was a happy mind. Parry had never been able to clear his mind, having the attention span of a puppy, but he was able to focus long enough to get shit done.

Like tapping into his Celestial powers and re-coloring the streamers hanging from the ceiling into a baby pink color.

Would it have been easier to do that from the start? Probably.

But Parry Magnus dealt with toddlers for a living, watching after the supernatural community's children from his Little Angels Day Care center. Much as the werewolves, fairies, witches and others commented how well behaved their kids were after picking them up, an outside observer might wonder if the kids weren't rubbing off their less than stellar behaviors on their watcher.

So Parry Magnus, in a silk white shirt, black pants, with his lengthy blonde hair and immaculately washed and exfoliated face ready to greet the who's who of society, tapped his watch to turn on the music and lights, sent the casual reminder text to all 300 invitees that festivities would soon begin, and snagged a decorative pacifier from the gift table.

Less to do with the reason for this party and more to do with the fact that he had the best ecstasy in the city stashed in the bedroom of the penthouse, and he'd either bite or wet himself from it if he mixed too much booze with it.

He'd roll those dice later.

=======================================================

Forty Minutes Later

=======================================================

"Wa wa wa wa wa, wa wa wa wa!" Cue laughter from Cyrus Grey, Alpha of the West side Wolf Shifters.

He probably said something insightful and funny, but the pounding bass from the DJ station, the roar of the crowd packing the dance floor, and the buzz of drunken fun coming from the throng of partygoers meant all the words were lost on Parry.

So he laughed, tossed back the champagne he was holding, and politely excused himself. Without any prompting or thought for how it looked, Parry slid the pacifier he'd snagged into his mouth. A visual gag that also prevented him from having to chat with anyone he came into contact with. Considering he'd invited 300 people and almost double that number had showed up, he was right pissed now. The place was standing room only, the food was being trucked up from the hotel kitchen as fast as it went through, and Queen Bitch herself hadn't bothered to show up for his party!

And now he was starting to notice humans. HUMANS!

Humans had crashed his supernatural party!

So Parry Magnus had to assume that these two capital offenses were inexplicably linked. The Fairy Queen must've arranged it just to get him in trouble when a drunken wizard conjured a fireball or an ice storm in the midst of the unassuming mortals.

Parael started shoving himself toward the balcony behind the empty mahogany throne, reaching into his pockets for his cell phone, and started to speed-dial the fairy queen. She'd better have a damn good answer for this one!

[KuroTenshi]

This was the strangest celebration Rikive had ever attended. As soon as she stepped into the door she was overwhelmed by the obnoxious music blaring across the entire...interestingly decorated room. Her 'escorts' abandoned her in no less than five seconds after arriving, apparently attracted to the barmaid serving what Rikive understood to be alcohol. Though none of it was the kind she was used to drinking.

She had no idea what was being celebrated, but when she caught the smell of food she ceased to care. She could clap her hands in excitement. This was why she had accepted the invitation to come up to the celebration, she knew there would be food. She made a beeline to where the glorious feast laid and piled high a plate of all manner of delicious scented food.

Once she had her prize she tried to find a quiet and secluded place to eat and get away from the annoying music. Holding the plate above her head she wove her way through the crowd of mingling mortals and supernatural beings. She was surprised to see and sense so many magical beings inside of the penthouse. She had assumed that since humans had invited her, she would be at a human celebration. How strange.

Oh well. She stopped by the bar and picked a random bottle of liquor to drink with her food. Highland Park 30 Scotch, it sounded like it would be good, though she did not get her hopes up. After all, her father had the best mead in all the Nine Worlds.

Spying a set of doors opening to the outside on a balcony, she made her way through the throng of people to it. The cool night air blowing against her heated skin made her sigh in relief. She sat herself down on a chair on the balcony and opened the bottle of alcohol before dining.

Her plate was almost empty and the bottle of decent alcohol now half empty when she was joined on the balcony by strange...Man? Rikive leaned back in her chair, picking up the bottle to drink from as she watched the fair and enraged man angrily jab his finger at a rectangle humans seemed so fascinated with. It didn't appear he noticed her yet so she turned her head away and kicked her feet up onto the railing of the balcony as she drank from the bottle of Highland Scotch. Whatever the man was angry about had nothing to do with her.

[Trinais]

The dance floor parted around Rikive as best it could. Most everyone there, especially the supernaturals, were dressed for a night at a fancy club. Dress shirts, ties, little black dresses and such. The humans were easy to pick out since their clothes inevitably involved denim, short skirts and excessive jewelry. So both crowds viewed the woman in medieval armor and sporting weapons from a few centuries ago as something above and beyond an oddity.

The bartenders were water nypmhs from the main river, so they at least knew to give Rikive something on the strong side when she passed by. But the chefs piling up finger foods, sliced deli meats and cheeses were one-hundred-percent mortal. They were coming and going so quickly it didn't matter. They did stop one and all to look at the mountain of food piled up by Rikive and simultaneously marvel at her figure. Maybe walking around in a hundred pounds of ringed steel counted as a workout?

So in their Saturday Night Frat Party getup. Rikive's escorts quickly found themselves isolated from the rest of the crowd. Nobody would talk to them either, a few eyed them as food, and a few others seemed to actively take an interest in them in a not-so-discreet or pleasant way.

"Man, we should've just taken the crazy bitch to a bar," Phil, the shorter, complaining one yelled into Jeff's ear. It'd been Jeff who'd taken them here in the first place, so it was his fault they were wasting a whole Saturday.

"Whatever man," Jeff yelled. "We can always take her out someplace else. I wanna see if I can snag a bottle of something. Why don't you go dance?" Jeff took a second to look left, then right, scanning the crowd for their third wheel, Pat. Normally his best bud, Pat was built like a linebacker and about as sharp as a marble. There were some big people in this party, a lot of them weird looking, but Pat could probably go toe-to-toe with the best of them.

"Where's Pat?"

==============================================

Pat was muscling his way out toward the balcony, having gotten lost and bored and his head starting to hurt from the music. He didn't know what to do at parties like these. But even over the noise of the party, he was hearing something. A voice, whispering, with a pitch and melody just like his momma's when she'd sing to him as a kid.

'Go outside,' it said. 'You'll like it! So nice outside.'

So Pat followed the voice, coming up on the balcony behind the big fancy chair. And he saw a lady, big and tough but not as big and tough as he was! She was eating three Thanksgiving plates of food at once- he could probably eat more than that. If coach would let him.

'Don't worry about her,' the voice said. 'Look at IT!'

Which was when Pat laid eyes on a weird, mish-mash of a guy (girl?) with fancy clothes, fancy hair in a ponytail, and a baby pacifier in his mouth, yelling into his phone.

'He's all wrong, isn't she?' The voice said. 'So wrong! What is he? Why can't he be one thing like he's s'posed to be?'

"He is all wrong," Pat mumbled to himself, nodding in agreement to the voice.

'What do we do with wrong things?' The voice asked.

Pat didn't answer, 'cause he knew what to do with wrong things. Like his daddy said, you get rid of them! And the wrong thing was right there by the balcony, and the voice said 'Yes. Yes, just throw him! Like you do in the wrestling ring!'

==============================================

"Nyope! Nyope, yew lishen here yew bish!" Parry Magnus snarled around the rubber bulb in his mouth at the phone he held up to his ear. "I'm nah having dish! I trew dish party for yew! Yew know "

"Well Parry, darling, I'm absolutely delighted that you care so much for me." The Fairy Queen's voice was smooth as silk and cool as water as she replied, never missing a beat. "But you must know that in my condition, such music as you favor is very very uncomfortable. I must think of the child who will be my princess."

"She'll be forty-fird prinshess in rine!"

"The line of succession, Parry. It must be preserved." Someone spoke beside the queen, words muffled and followed by a snicker. "I'm afraid I must be going now Parry. A Queen needs her rest. I'll be hosting de Lacy and his inner circle tomorrow."

"What about all deshe hoomans? Yew cwashed my pawty wif hoomans!"

"Whatever are you speaking of, little dove? Good eve and enjoy thyself!"

Click.

"FUCK YEW, YEW UNGWATEFUL BISH!" Parry snarled into his phone. With the consummate skill of centuries of practice while watching the best, buffest, yummiest track and field performers, Parry reached back his arm and pitched his iPhone over the edge of the balcony with supernatural strength. It traveled a good block before beginning its descent, landing in a garbage can outside an apartment complex with a thunderous CLANG!!!

Parry let out a frustrated scream into the night air, mussing up his hair with both hands and stomping his feet. His guest of honor couldn't outdo him, so she flat out snubbed him! This was so-

"Hello," Parry said, blinking as he noticed the newcomer sitting on the balcony. Parry caught himself momentarily, shoving the pacifier back in his mouth. He'd used it this long, he figured, fuck it, why not? "Bettew. Hewwo. Pawty's inshide, outshide ish fow management. An' coshtume pawty is neksht weekend. Yew have anyfing elsh yew can weaw?"

Parry was strangely transfixed by the sight of the ragged, hungry, and probably tired woman who'd come into his party wearing all the wrong clothes and accessories. So transfixed, he didn't see the 6.5 foot beast of a man trudging up behind him, hearing imaginary voices telling him to throw Parry over the balcony onto the streets below...

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive raised her eyebrows at the feminine man, trying to understand him around the...whatever that was in his mouth. She was sure it was something for children though as she had only ever seen babies use them. "I understand not a word thy has spoken." She informed the man, not in the most polite tone, but she did not care so much for manners at the moment.

What a strange man, he reminded her of the Light Elves, of which she shared half her blood with. They were beautiful beings, but tended toward the androgynous side unless they wished to define their sex. She wondered what the lovely man was, for he had thrown that black rectangle further than any human would be able to.

She was about to congratulate him on the impressive throw when she saw the odd look in the eyes of one of the men she came up with. She had dismissed his presence at first when he arrived on the balcony, assuming he'd come looking for her. As he grew closer to the blonde haired man though, she saw that was not his intent.

There was a glazed look to them and he was solely focused on the blonde man. He looked like a man possessed.

In a flash she was up from her seat and placing herself between the slim man and the large mortal. She pushed him away, a shove from just one of her hands sending the man stumbling back toward the doors. The strength behind that one shove was enough for him to know she was far stronger than she appeared. Her eyes were narrowed into a hard glare, standing between the two men. She knew neither of them, but she would not sit idly by and allow harm to befall an innocent person in her presence.

"Stand. Down." She ordered the human, a warning in her low voice as loose strands of hair twisting and dancing in the wind as it blew. "Or, I will be forced to subdue thee." She said, crossing her arms over her chest, standing straight and proud with her chin lifted ever so slightly as she stared the man into the ground. "I will not even need to draw my blade to do so." She added with a mocking smirk.

[Trinais]

Parry gave the woman a 'honey, what?' look, ready to unleash a new tirade against her for failing to grasp his words. Before he could get the first sound out of his mouth though, the lady was on her feet and standing between him and a muscled troll of a man. And it was a shame, because normally Parry was into muscles, but this guy looked high as a kite on something or another.

'If this human found my ex stash, then I'm going to be pissed...'

Now, as far as Parry was concerned, at first glance this guy was just off his rocker and on a good or bad trip. This new lady, whom he didn't recognize from the city's high society sector that he'd invited, and shoe dressed and spoke like she'd walked right out of the Ren Faire, let him to believe they were on a collision course of misunderstandings.

"Honey," Parry said, giving up on the joke and popping the pacifier out of his mouth. "I think we have a misunderstanding here. This gentleman," Parry pointed at the troll of a man, "has smoked too much of something and is just a liiiiittle off balance. But he was just about to leave."

Parry shot a glare at Muscle guy.

"Wasn't he?"

And Mr. High as a Kite actually took the hint. HE seemed to blink a few times, consider the Viking chick, and stepped away, heading back into the ballroom.

"See? Guy took too many pills and didn't know up from down." The Celestial nodded, a smug smile on his face as he put the pacifier back into his mouth.

"Om Parree Magnush. Wishard extwowdinawe. And you'we at mah pawty. Wifout a invitashun, caush I 'membew aww my inbites. Sho... how'dyou get hewe an' why you dwinkin my skawtch 'n eatin' my cheese?"

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive watched the man leave with hard eyes, just in case he turned around and continued to do whatever he had intended. It may have been a misunderstanding as the long haired man said, but it did not change the fact that the man had wanted to do something unsavory. Once she was sure he was gone she turned back to the man. At least she could finally understand him.

Aaand, the thing went back into his mouth and she could understand very little.

She reached up and snatched it from his mouth. "Seriously. I can not understand a word with this in thy mouth." She informed him, shaking the damned thing in his face. "I believe thou inquired why I am here though, no?" She stuck the pacifier back between his lips and walked back to the table. With very little grace she sat herself down in her chair again and picked up the bottle of Scotch. Propping her feet back on the railing she took a swig before launching into her explanation:

"I am Rikive, daughter of Heimdall. Earlier, I tried to acquire a room at this inn, but they would not accept my coin. Then, they insulted my father's name. I met three mortals outside, one of which was the man who just left." She nodded to the door. "They invited me to join them for this feast and so I accepted. It has been quite some time since I last ate. A fortnight I believe actually." She shrugged and pulled out her coin purse. "Here, compensation for food I have eaten and the alcohol I have drunk." She explained, tossing a few gold coins onto the table, next to her plate.

After a moment she frowned at the coin and raised an eyebrow at 'Parree'. "Or is my coin not good enough here as well?" She asked, setting the bottle down with a thunk. "What is wrong with Midgard?" She grumbled, shaking her head. "When has gold been insufficient means to purchase items? I was told it would be enough." She held up the coin purse, near bursting at the seams with gold coins. "Bloody, useless." She muttered, tossing it with frustrated disgust onto the table as well.

The opening of the pouch exploded and gleaming solid gold coins spilled forth onto the table, each one engraved with the stylized symbol of Yggdrasil.

[Trinais]

Parry recoiled a bit as the woman shoved the pacifier back into his mouth.

"If yew can' unnershtan me, why yew put i' back in?" He chuckled a little at his own smug mindset. Whoever this lady was, she was dumb as a brick and stuck in the middle ages! "An' how yew fink I feel if kidsh ah my werk, huh? Dey all gaw one in dere mouves!"

Come to think of it, Parry was starting to get sick of the rubbery taste of silicone on his tongue. And the fact that big, dumb and high had gotten into his drugs meant Parry wouldn't be needing this thing any more. So when Rikive got to the part in her tirade about being the daughter of Heimdall, he stopped breathing. And when she spilled the bag of Yggdrasil gold coins on the table, he damn near swallowed and choked on the pacifier.

"Heimdall?" Parry asked after he spat the pacifier over the balcony's edge. "Heimdall, watcher on the Bifrost? Eyes and Ears of Odin All-Father? How is-"

Aaaaaand then it clicked, what he was about to say. What he was about to give away to this woman- this Rikive. Most of the Asgardian's kept to their realm, but they were distant cousins of the Celestials. They did their thing, and Parry's people did their own. Not that they didn't intermingle now and then. Last time he was in Asgard, Thor called him a 'Light Elf.'

Parry took two seconds to snap his fingers, closing the balcony doors with a slight gust, giving Rikive and Parry some privacy.

"Honey, first of all, I miss your daddy. Haven't seen him in about 800 years and I miss him terribly. Second of all, and this is very important, how long have you been on Midgard?"

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive blinked up at the man, stunned that he knew her father. And not in the sense that he had heard his name, but that he actually had met him. "Thou knows my father?" She asked him, standing up from her seat. If he was speaking the truth, but she could not think of any reason why someone would lie about personally knowing a Norse god.

It was not such a stretch to believe. Her father entertained many beings from all across the realms, his wonderful mead attracted quite the crowd. In fact, such an occasion was how she came to even exist. 800's years...She may have still been a babe around then, but it was hard to say, time passed so much differently in Asgard compared to Midgard.

"Not very long, I believe." She answered him with a small shrug. "The winter season had just ended when I arrived and it is still spring." Perhaps this would be a good thing. A friend of her father may just provide the relief she needed from her adventure walking all over Midgard or riding in some very strange contraptions.

Airplanes amazed her as much as they terrified her. It was like willingly walking into a dragons belly. Absolute madness that was.

She rubbed her chin in thought and stared at him, trying to think if he matched the description of any of the guests in her father's wild stories. After a moment she pointed at him. "Are thou the one that broke my father's dragon painted round shield in half by striking another guest on the head?"

[Trinais]

"Knows they father'? I played 'I Spy' with him and I won!"

I spy with my little eye, something Black and White and Red All over!

Be it a spider?

No, Heimdall...

Parry chuckled. Ah, those were good times. But the dragon shield- that story had his face turning a rough shade of crimson and promptly shut him the hells up. That one was... hopefully Heimdall gave Rikive the child friendly version of the story, because the full details involved Loki, Tyr, and three valkyries plus a frost giant. Parry's chronicling of that one had been taken down by FanFiction multiple times for being too dirty for the site's standards.

Parael Magnus could be a selfish and hedonistic SoB, but he also knew he was on the run from his boss and partner Cymriel. close to a millennia on Earth without getting caught was a good run. But the only being in creation who could potentially see more than the Celestials was Heimdall. And now his beautiful bouncing baby girl was on Parry's doorstep. So Parry was in a corner. If anything happened to this woman, he was going to be turned in by Heimdall to the Powers-that-Be, no doubt about that.

"Right, a couple weeks? Hon, first rule with mortals," Parry smiled as he started to scoop the gold coins up, shoveling them back in to Rikives bag, "this gold is more valuable than anything the mortals on the street possess. They just see it and can't believe what they're seeing, so they think it's fake. Remember that lesson, 'cause it's gonna be important in about-"

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Big dumb and ugly didn't break through the glass window doors when he tackled Parry and threw him toward the stone railing. Apparently he'd just opened the door while Parry chattered away with Rikive and launched himself into a linebacker's tackle, hurtling Parry toward the overhanging balcony and a drop to the street.

And as Parry's mind snapped from surprise to situational assessment, his instincts told him to flex his wings and prepare to fly out of danger. Using the same wings he'd left behind in the Nether. That he couldn't use here.

Thankfully, as Big and Ugly threw Parry screaming over the edge of the balcony, the Celestial had enough sense and reflexes to grip the guardrail to keep from plunging 20 stories to his doom.

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive lurched toward the railing when she saw Parael go over the side at the hands of that giant human she knew hadn't been right. Thank the Nine World's Parael was able to grab onto the railing to cease his fall. "I've got thee!" She shouted, reaching over the railing and down to grab onto Parael's hand. Her strength would be more than enough to pull him back onto the safety of the balcony.

Or it would if hands had not grabbed her waist and jerked her away from the railing. "Unhand me!" She growled, prying his arms off from around her torso. She could feel his muscles strain to keep a grip on her, but her strength was mightier than his. Rikive dropped to the ground when she was freed, landing in a low crouch on the balcony. Her leg struck out and swept the human off of his feet, causing him to fall onto the balcony with a dull thud.

She stood up from her crouch and quickly grabbed the man by his shirt. "It is rude to throw the host over a balcony!" She grunted, dragging him inside. The grip of one hand shifted to the belt of the man's pants while the other was still on his shirt and with a great heave she threw him. Guest's shouted and screamed as they dove out of the way of the human that went sailing through the air until his back hit a wall.

The music stopped suddenly when the DJ noticed the commotion and guests cried out in protest and confusion. Well, at least she got that horrible music to stop; that was certainly a bonus. After watching a moment to make sure that the human would not be getting back up, Rikive ran back outside to the balcony.

She appeared over the railing again, breathing out a sigh of relief seeing the man was still holding on. "Take my hand." She said, reaching down again so Parael could grasp her hand and she could pull him back onto the balcony. "Or was this a 'misunderstanding' as well?" She could not help but asked, raising her eyebrows down at the feminine man.

[Trinais]

No wings. No wings! Oh shit no wings!

Parry kicked feebly against the midnight air, trying to get purchase on something, anything, to pull himself back up. Of course his legs were too short to reach the wall of the building and brace himself. When Rikive reached over the railing to give him a hand up, Parry extended his right arm to her- and quickly lost his grip as Big and Ugly grabbed Rikive from behind. The little bit of lift she'd given Parry did mean he had to brace himself when gravity tried to pull him back to its sweet, serene embrace.

So Parry was left dangling again his life flashing before his eyes (So many men and women, so little time) while 600 people watched him kick and scream futilely and stood transfixed by the fight.

Rikive did manage to put Parry's attacker into a duplex hold, then launch him through the open door (kudos- throwing through the glass would've been more flashy but a hundred times more expensive) over the partygoers heads, and into the far wall by the penthouse elevator.

Game. Set. Match.

Dear sweet baby Odin, he was soon happy to see Rikive over the railing's edge. Smug? A little. But as she hoisted him over the railing Parry had to fall on his knees and give her leather-booted feet a kiss and hug her around both ankles.

"Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you thank you!" He shrieked. Then the DJ scratched a record, snapping Parry out of his gratefulness, and bringing his mind back to business.

"ALRIGHT!" HE yelled at the assembled mob of supernaturals and humans. Seeming to collect himself and without bothering to dust the dirt and granite off his expensive silk shirt, Parry strode into the packed ballroom and flipped the light switch, turning off the special party decor and putting the regular house lights on- to the dismay of groaning supernatural partygoers. "When someone tries to murder me at my own party, I call it a night. Everybody GO HOME!"

He extended a finger, pointing at Rikive. "Except you. You get to stay and eat cheese." And Parry promptly pointed to the empty mahogany throne. "Up there."

The downside of ordering all the partygoers to leave at once was the fact that the three humans who escorted Rikive up to the party soon scooped up their companion, and were among the first to leave...

[KuroTenshi]

After Parael ceased thanking her in a most strange manner, Rikive picked up her fallen coin purse. She made sure to collect each coin before tucking it away and re-entering the suite. She stopped when Parael pointed at her, announcing that she would be allowed to stay. She could not help but smile in sheer relief that she could stay and perhaps rest a bit more. She so very much needed a break from the confusing world of Midgard.

Rikive looked at the empty throne with an arched eyebrow, the one Parael said she could sit on. She was not of high enough standing to sit upon the magnificent chair, saving the hosts life or not. Though she did appreciate the gesture nonetheless and she certainly would not turn down the opportunity to eat a bit more food. She made her way over to the food table as people filed out of the room, ignoring the eyes she could feel drilling into her.

They could look all they wished, so long as they did not want to fight with her she didn't care. And after witnessing her throw a man twice her size across a room like a rag doll, she suspected no one would wish to pick such a fight.

Rikive picked up a small pastry from the table, a cupcake she believed it was called. It was decorated with pink frosting and had a little rose seated on the very top. She sniffed the pastry before taking a bite out of the icing, rose and all. The demi-goddess made a face when she found the rose was hard and not edible. She spat out the decoration with a firm shake of her head before continuing to eat the cupcake. Though a bit more cautiously incase there were anymore hard bits inside.

There were none and it was easily the sweetest, most delicious thing she had ever eaten. When she finished with the first one she picked up another, being sure to pluck the rose off the top this time. With her treat in hand she left the feast table and found an empty couch to sit on. The cushions were as soft as a cloud and she sprawled herself across the comfortable surface, eating her cupcake and watching the guests leave.

A few shot her dirty looks and she merely grinned in return, uncaring about the small bit of icing on her nose and upper lip. It wasn't her fault that some crazy human had tried to kill the host and ended the festivities.

A young witch with perfectly held curls of copper red hair stopped in front of Parael with her arms crossed over her chest and a scowl on her face. "Parry, just who the hell is that woman?" She asked him, pointing over in the direction of Rikive. "She threw a human twice her size across a room, in front of other humans!" She informed him in a low voice. "De Lucy is going to come knocking, wanting answers when he hears about this. It'd be in your best interest to put some distance between you and her. No reason you should get dragged down with her because she hasn't gotten with modern times."

[Trinais]

Parry was momentarily surprised when Rikive elected not to take the seat of honor, but it was probably for the best. The Fairy Queen might've skipped out on the party but she had eyes and ears everywhere, and she was a spiteful little bitch. Parry would've caught flack for giving up the seat so publicly (which was why he did it, furthering their eternal feud) and Rikive would've caught flack by default for taking the royal cushion.

So while Rikive noshed on cupcake after cupcake (THE CARBS!!!!), Parry decided to just ride the wave with her. He grabbed a bottle of cold Riesling from one of the little bars-on-wheels he'd hired for the night, along with another bottle of Scotch and one of Tequila, sans worm, for Rikive. Demigoddess she might be, but Tequila had a terrifying effect on the Celestial.

"First rule of being... what you are," he said, popping open his own wine cork, "is never bleed around vampires. Second is never tell anyone where you really come from." Parry sniffed the open top of the bottle cautiously. A hint of pear with the white. Not bad. "I'll coach you on that soon. And third-"

A young witch with perfectly held curls of copper red hair stopped in front of Parael with her arms crossed over her chest and a scowl on her face. "Parry, just who the hell is that woman?" She asked him, pointing over in the direction of Rikive. "She threw a human twice her size across a room, in front of other humans!" She informed him in a low voice. "De Lucy is going to come knocking, wanting answers when he hears about this. It'd be in your best interest to put some distance between you and her. No reason you should get dragged down with her because she hasn't gotten with modern times."

@KuroTenshi

Parry smiled at the witch, purposely taking a long sip from his bottle while she went on and on. Lexlie. She had a habit of sticking her nose in where it didn't belong.

"Lexlie, this is my good friend Riklie. She's visiting town from Oslo, Norway. And yes, I saw that-" Parry indicated the human-shaped hole in the wall plaster not twelve feet from where he sat "-same as you. I'm fine, thank you for coming to lift me up when the human tried to kill me."

Parry thought he had it all under control now, ready to go back to talking with Rikive about the ins and outs of the city and what tomorrow would hold.

Then Lexlie the witch had to say the magic words. 'de Lacy' was enough to get Parry's blood running, and not in a 'let's break out the handcuffs!' fun way. That was a shot across the bow from Lexlie for sure: to take the news of this incident to de Lacy for a scrap of influence in his court. Unlike all 500 other immortals that showed up, she had the decency to announce her intention. Everyone else would just go and do it. Rats scrambling up a sinking ship.

Well, Parry would make an example of Lexlie at least.

"Listen, honey," Parry whispered, leaning in close. "You let me worry about de Lacy. It's my head. Not yours. I mean, you stuck your head out enough times with your familiar on my property- which carries a death sentence by de Lacy's own signature." Whether or not that was enough to dissuade Lexlie was irrelevant. The threat was delivered- shut the fuck up or I'll let Mr. Big Bad know you've been snooping on me. But dissuading her wasn't enough. Lexlie's efforts needed to be focused elsewhere, and Parry saw Lexlie was still wearing her engagement ring. A black diamond, given to Lexlie by Lord Warlock of the city, Markus Corolis.

"Oh, before you go, tell Markus I haven't seen him at Chase's in a while. I miss him."

Chase's. Parry's favorite watering hole for male companionship. Parry had never seen Markus there at all, but he couldn't resist planting the seed of doubt and/or jealousy within the nosy witch.

"Say, Riki," he said, turning back to his guest, "what do you say we catch a Lyft and hit a few clubs on the way back to my place. I've got a guest room and everything you can use for the night. I've only rented this place and the food till 1:30..."

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive grinned as she watched the red haired woman grow a bit red in the face with rage before turning and walking away. She tossed the empty cupcake wrapper to the side and stretched on the comfortable couch. "Thou will host me?" She asked him with a grin once the woman was out of ear shot. She seemed like the type that needed to mind her own business. "Oh thank thee Parael!" She stood so she could embrace the man. "I have not slept well since arriving to Midgard." She released him and took a step back with her hands on her hips.

She was so happy and relieved that Parael would allow her to stay with him. She was so exhausted with dealing with the strange human society. It was nothing like her father and relatives had told her about. For instance, whenever she heard the name of her Uncle spoken, it was always in relation to something called the 'Avengers movie'. Whatever that was, she did know that it was not the proper worship that he deserved.

"Pray tell, what is a Lyft?" She asked curiously before shaking her head. That was not what was important at the moment. Before the witch had interrupted the conversation, Parael had been giving her warnings. "What was the third rule?" She inquired, brushing strands of hair that had escaped her braid. The 'rules' were curious things. Though the vampire one made some sense, it was best for everyone not to bleed around a leech. But why could she not tell people where she came from? She was an Asgardian and it was a title she bore with no small amount of pride!

Maybe it had something to do with that whole 'Avengers' nonsense...

"Also, who is de Lucy? Is he the Jarl of this land?" The nosey woman had made him sound as though he was the law of the land. Worse yet, she made it seem Rikive had broken a law. Somehow, she didn't know how defending a man from being murdered was breaking a law. Parael had played it off as nothing though, perhaps the woman was just merely being dramatic?

[Trinais]

With Lexlie gone, Parry was able to turn his attention back to Rikive. She was going through cupcakes like they were the last on Midgard and would probably use a drink with them. Tequila and cupcakes- he shuddered at the thought, but realized it was a combination he hadn't thought to try before. If one thing defined Parry, it was his willingness to try the most absurd foods and actions to get the most out of life here on Earth while he could.

Getting a bear hug from a demigoddess that cracked his spine was the most painful and, afterward, the most relieving experience he'd had in a good while. Damn! She'd make a good chiropractor! "It's no biggie, hun. I still feel bad for beating your father at that game, and," he glanced at the crowd of partygoers, still filtering into the stairwell, then leaned in close to Rikive's ear, "people like us need to stick together. Midgard is dangerous for an immortal." Parry pulled away and pressed a finger to his lips.

"For example," he said, pulling back and speaking much more clearly. "de Lucy, de Lacey- I can never remember- he is the, uh, 'Jarl' of this city. Everyone pays him tribute and homage, and he keeps us safe from the mortals. But we'll get to him when he comes knocking on my door. For now we'll take that Lyft- a magical ride to fun and pleasure unbound- and get back to my place where you can rest."

Parry smiled as he stood up, offering Rikive a hand.

The unspoken word in that sentence was "eventually."

=====================================================

Rikive may have been an immortal, but she still had a liver and it still processed alcohol, so she could still get drunk. Her night on Midgard in his esteemed company was going to be dedicated to fulfilling that objective before getting home for bed. Within minutes of the last guest leaving, Parry was standing outside with his enchanted Gucci diaper bag, had reached inside for his iPhone 6+, and had a fancy Chrysler 300 Lyft waiting curbside for them. Complete with the giant pink mustache on the front of the grill.

It took no less than three gay bars to find one that served actual mead. Parry wasn't too picky about whose pants he could get into, but he figured this was the best bet for Rikive. All the fashion boutiques were closed at this hour, so he couldn't get her a new outfit easily except at Wal-Mart, and Parry had a Colt .45 loaded with a single bullet, ready to use if he ever violated his sacred oath to never set foot in such a store for the purpose of buying clothing. But the crowds would be friendly and the men generally uninterested in anything more than a bit of fun.

But Chase's always had a loose atmosphere and all the humans had a friendly giggle over Rikives clothes. Here, Parry introduced her to the Chocolate Martini. Several times.

Next was Soho. It was disco night there, so a few of the guys were dressed to the nines in clothes that came relatively close to Rikive's in style. Minus the chainmail. Here, Rikive got to taste the beloved Irish Car Bomb.

Finally they got to Just 4 Us. It was a blue-collar dive bar only a block from Parry's place, no windows with a white brick exterior. Inside it was relatively quiet for 3 AM, but Parry was able to convince Tony, that adorable little barkeep, to open up the brewery downstairs and bring up a glass of actual mead for Rikive. Tony took one look at Rikive's getup and, rather than making fun of her, ran with the whole medieval idea.

"M'lady's wish is my command. Oh, Parry? We had one of our dancers cancel with the flu. Would you be willing to go back and put on some drag for me?"

The question was a quid-pro-quo kind of thing. You put on a skirt and some makeup, do a little dance for the eight people still here, and I'll unlock the brewery.

Parry had to glance over at Rikive, study her condition after all the alcohol and bar food he'd thrown her way (sushi with a chocolate martini was also a new combination for him...). He was really, really hoping she wouldn't remember what he was about to do in the morning.

[KuroTenshi]

Mortals loved their alcohol. That was what Rikive was learning as they went from tavern to tavern and Parael introduced her to all the kinds of drinks humans had created. The little glasses filled with sweet chocolate and the strong kick of alcohol had been one of her favorites. The beer at the tavern after that was a very close second. With each passing drink she grew less serious and a bit more...bubbly.

The Irish Car Bomb had pushed her so over into the realm of drunk that when they left that tavern, she could not stop laughing at their car's pink mustache. When she first saw the damned thing it had easily been the most idiotic thing she'd ever seen. She hadn't even wanted to get into the car out of sheer embarrassment.

However after a night of proper drinking, she had made her peace with the dumb mustache and had laughed about it for ten minutes. Along with her friendlier disposition came an unsteady walk and she had ceased speaking English. She was drunk enough at the moment that she had forgotten to talk in a language people would understand and instead was now slurring in Old Norse.

Rikive could still understand English though, so she grinned at the barkeep when he spoke to her and sat down on a stool at the bar. Or tried to, apparently she had lost her ability to sit properly and she fell back on the ground on her ass while Parael spoke to the man. She stared up at Parael with utter confusion as to what just happened. When it clicked into her drunk mind that she had completely missed the stool, laughter erupted from her.

The light sound rang like a silver bell from her lips. It flowed through the air and washed over the patrons that could hear her over the music playing. The weary 3 AM crowd suddenly grew energized again, as though they had just had a restful night of sleep.

Rikive stumbled back up to her feet and made a show of making sure she knew where the stool at the bar was before sitting herself down on it. She looked at Tony and Parael, slurred something in Old Norse while pointing down before bursting into laughter again at whatever she had just said.

A man in the crowd took special notice of the laughter and emerged from the crowd like a shadow. He was fairly handsome, with his neatly combed dark hair, deep russet brown eyes and charming smile. Though Rikive wasn't particularly fond of how pale his skin was. It looked like he never stepped out into the sun, which meant he was a soft man of leisure rather than a hearty man that would tend to a farm proper. Besides, something else wasn't quite right about him. Something her drunken mind couldn't place.

"Hi there, I've haven't seen you around before." He spoke to her in a low, inviting voice. "How about I buy you a drink?"

Rikive stared at him flatly, trying to place what was wrong with him. It wasn't his appearance, other than his pale skin. There was something else a bit more alarming than that.

Suddenly it occurred to her and she pointed at his chest. "Thy hath no heart beat." She mumbled drunkenly in Old Norse.

[Trinais]

Parry left Rikive as Tony went into the basement brewery, going backstage after he whispered in Rikive's ear "Be good for just a few minutes, hun." The bubble of laughter that escaped Rikive's lips earlier was a warning sign that her inhibitions were pretty much shot at this point, which was both good and bad. Parry'd taken enough selfies of the two of them to notice her once serious and haughty demeanor had shifted toward carefree with every bar they visited.

Parry had hoped to put on a quick number per Tony's request and call it done. The suddenly awake crowd would make that difficult. So it was with much trepidation that Parry snuck into the back dressing room where the regular performers were primping and preening in front of their mirrors.

"Parry, darling! Where've you been?" Ruby, the red-haired buxom man asked as soon as Parry shut the door behind him. "We haven't seen you since Pride! Rose, Diamond! Parry's back!"

Ruby was quickly joined by his co-workers in various stages of dress and undress- all done up to the nines but finishing their shows for the evening. People sometimes asked where Parry learned to apply his cosmetics so well. The answer was pretty simple: Drag Queens.

"Hey Rose!" Parry offered with a kiss on his cheek, followed by Diamond and Ruby. "Gentlemen and ladies! I need a quick favor. Tony opened up the brewery downstairs for a friend of mine, but he wants me on stage for a number for old time's sake. Do you have anything... flashy?"

=======================================

Tony returned from the downstairs brewery to find Parry gone and his strange friend still at the bar. He had a tray in hand with three glasses of mead, cold, and a plate of summer sausage and cheeses on the house just 'cause he felt bad for making Parry do a show just so Riki could get some of the better drinks. Still, Parry's shows were always a blast and he was way behind on rent, so the tips it might bring in would do him and Michael a world of good.

"M'lady," Tony said, offering the tray with a smile. Which was when that guy- Creeper, as most of the staff took to calling him- came up and started chatting with Riki. Tony didn't like to judge the customers. The owner welcomed everyone's money. But Creeper never bought drinks for himself. Only other people.

And while it wasn't Tony's place to decide who Riki talked to, he felt it was necessary to keep Parry's friend looked after while he was gone.

"Excuse me sir," Tony said, scratching the back of his brown hair. "The lady is spoken for."

[KuroTenshi]

"I hath no betrothed." Rikive said to the barkeep in her native language, before her attention zeroed in on the tray of food and mead. "Thou I would marry!" She informed him with a grin, picking up one of the glasses of mead. "May thy enemies boil in their own blood!" She toasted before knocking back the glass.

"She hasn't said anything to me about it." The dark haired man said with a shrug. "Let the lady speak for herself."

Rikive slammed the empty glass down on the counter and turned to the man, her head swaying as the room spun. "Go away."

"Did you hear that? She wants me to stay." He grinned, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her against his chest. "How about you go and clean some glasses and mind your own damn business?" It wasn't a question, it was an order and the glare the mysterious man shot Tony was chilling.

Rikive made a face when she heard the man inhale deeply, as though he was smelling her and she shoved him away from her. She was drunk but her strength had not changed and the man stumbled back a good distance from her. Rikive met his wide, surprised eyes with a glare of her own. She held up one of her hands in a fist and then extended her middle finger. A delightful little vulgar gesture she had seen many people throw her way. For some reason the man didn't understand her, but hopefully he'd understand this.

The message got across and the man glared at her. "Fine, you're a stuck up bitch anyway." He scoffed, glancing at the bartender for a moment before turning to slip back into the crowd.

Rikive turned back to the tray of goodies and picked up a piece of cheese, throwing weary glances toward the crowd. Perhaps the alcohol was making her paranoid, but she didn't think the man would give up...whatever he had been doing so easily. He could come back or he could leave her alone. If he did, then she would put his head through the wood of the bar.

===

Over at the other side of the building, the man pulled out his cell phone once he was seated with his back to a wall so no one could see the screen. He sent a message to a few of his buddies that were hunting in the area, letting them know he might have a good target here, but he'd need help catching it.

[Trinais]

Tony was eyeing the bouncer, Will, when Parry's friend Riki gave Creeper an Olympic strength throw across the room. That display, coupled with Creeper's withering glare, left Tony watching Creeper get back up. Will made a move to grab Creeper and throw him out for good just to avoid an altercation that could interrupt the night's drinking any more than it already had.

Will, Tony, and everyone else in the bar stopped paying Creeper any mind when the lights went out, all except for the stage lights on the far platform. No self respecting performer would call it a stage, actually. The only thing that gave it a veneer of professionalism was the large curtain that hung over it.

The curtain did part after a pre-recorded drumroll, revealing a thoroughly transformed Parry Magnus.

His silk shirt and designer pants were gone. Instead, he was clad in an adult sized sailor-fufu from Japan, though blessedly he wore long black shorts underneath the skirt (a few drinkers shouted "TAKE 'EM OFF!" to which he blew a kiss), all topped off with a knee length faux cat's tail. His blond hair, usually done up in a semi-masculine ponytail, was flowing freely down his shoulders. And his fancy leather shoes were replaced with a set of black Mary-Janes.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the masculine voice of Ruby boomed from off stage, "returning to us for the first time since Pride, the house is pleased to present, Mister Parry Magnes!"

Que: Parry strutting across the stage, shaking his hips this way and that while he lip-synced Fergie's 'A Little Party Never Killed Nobody'.

Tony was left dumbfounded at the disconnect, and he rested both hands on the bar. Parry had lost his damn mind. A costume that had nothing to do with the song he was dancing to? Tony had seen Parry come to this dive for years, and that vain little peacock never did anything without thinking three steps ahead of the game and making it as flashy as could be.

Que: Parry grabbing his shirt in one hand, his skirt in the other, and ripping both off- leaving him in speedo shorts. And his routine suddenly became much less family friendly.

"Oh," Tony said, blushing as he watched Rikive's reaction. "I, um, think you should know... he's usually much more classy. He stays away from the pole. And- oh God, I'm gonna have to wash that. And that too. Aaaaaaaaand now those Mary Janes can go right in the trash. And the socks too. Jesus CHRIST!" Tony had to turn away from the stage, unable to watch any more antics. "More mead, miss?"

======================================

Closing time came an hour later, and Parry had become thoroughly sloshed by that time. His performance only lasted a few minutes but people kept buying him drinks and passing phone numbers on napkins. Parry was far too interested in Rikive at this point, however.

"Who why's Himdall sending' his daughter to Migerd? What'chu do to end up down here with all us? Tony! More mead!"

Tony slashed his arm in a 'You're cut off' gesture. "We're out, Parry. You two drank all that stuff. I'll call you a cab, have it around the front in no time."

"Yer a saint, Tony," Parry said, closing his eyes as he smiled. Rikive would no doubt sense something going on as Parry glanced in, tapping in to the Celestial blood in his veins before opening his eyes again and saying, "Shame 'bout your mother."

Tony wrinkled his nose. "Mom's fine, Parry."

"Call her in the morning an' tell her you love her. You'll fell better for it. After you call our cab." Parry turned to Rikive, raising his empty glass to hers. "Here's to family, princess. I got mine all around me down here. What've you got?"