[IC] Divine Hijinks

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive stared down at Parael, swaying slightly on her feet even though she was standing in one spot. The mead had been good, nothing compared to her father's of course, but all the same it had been good. And after watching Parael's...performance, she hadn't been able to drink it fast enough. She couldn't tell if she was any drunker than she was before, but hopefully it'd mean that she'd wake up tomorrow with no memory of...that.

She sensed something strange shift in Parael when he closed his eyes and then began to talk to the barkeep about his mother. Even her drunk mind could piece together what was happening and she was impressed. Parael didn't even need a saer's bowl or meditate to see into the future and look at what the Norns had spun. Not at all surprising since Parael was a heavenly being, just like herself.

She leaned against the bar and frowned at his question. "Nothing." She answered him, still speaking in Old Norse. "My mother told me to come and...have an adventure." She said with a wide, loopy grin on her face. "Don't think this was what she had in mind! Certainly not that...display thou performed!" She leaned forward and said in a whispery voice, "To be honest, think she wanted me to come down, find a husband and give her grandchildren."

Rikive burst into laughter until Tony told them their cab was on their way. "Right! Thank thee barkeep!" She shouted at the man, smacking her hand on the bar before moving away from it. She grabbed Parael's arm to pull him with her toward the exit. "I wish to sleep and awake with no memory of this tomorrow. Or I will never be able to meet thine eyes again!" She laughed, throwing her arm about his shoulders as they stumbled outside.

"Where is the car with the absurd whiskers?" She asked him, looking around for the Lyft car. The street was fairly quiet, hardly any cars were on the road. Rikive let out a loud yawn, bringing up her free hand to rub at her eyes. She heard the scuff of feet behind them turned to see a man walking around with one of those rectangles held up to his ear. Dismissing him she turned back to the street.

She suddenly sensed a presence behind her, but before her drunken mind could react hands grabbed her arms and dragged her away from Parael in a blur of motion. Rikive could feel the concrete eating away at the soles of her hard leather shoes from how fast they were moving. It was dizzying to her drunken brain how fast they were moving, but she dug her feet hard into the ground to try and stop whoever was dragging her and tried to rip away from the hands.

Finally her attacker stopped, but only to throw her into the side of a building. She grunted from the impact, her vision swimming from being moved around so fast in her inebriated state. She slid down the wall until her feet hit the ground again and she stumbled, having to grip onto the wall for support.

"You needed help with this?" A woman's voice sneered and Rikive shook her head, blinking her eyes and trying to focus on what was going on around her. Finally she was able to focus on what was in front of her. Five people stood around her in the back alley she'd been dragged into, two men and three women.

Rikive growled and clumsily pulled Winterthron from it's sheath. "Thou will regret this day!" She shouted, waving the sword at the group.

One of them rushed at her and had she been sober, she would have been able to counter the attack. However her mind barely registered the woman before she slammed her hand into her face. Rikive went flying back and slammed into the wall again, her head snapping back against it hard enough that it actually hurt.

"Wow, she sure is dangerous." One of the men snickered as Rikive slid back down the wall, this time unable to land on her feet.

Feeling warmth run into her hair Rikive reached behind her to touch the back of her head. She felt a dampness in her hair and pulled her hand forward to blink down at her fingers. There was a bit of blood staining her finger tips.

The chatter of her attackers suddenly ceased. "Do you smell...that?" One of the women growled out and Rikive clenched her hand into a fist. The demi-goddess looked up and saw all five of her attackers eyes glowing with hunger.

"It smells amazing."

[Trinais]

"'s cool," Parry said, rubbing Rikive's back in sympathy. "Parents c'n be assholes sometimes. But sending you on a quest fer grankids is kinda weird. I can find you one to take back an' say it's yours!"

Parry snickered, thinking about some of the frightening toddlers he could send back in Rikive's arms. Ms. Heimdall would be floored at the idea of her daughter coming back with a werewolf babe in arms.

Parry, inebriated as he was, walked out of the bar with Rikive hauling him by the arm. The cool night air left his exposed legs shivering while the sailor skirt blew in the wind. Parry hadn't bothered to change back into his regular clothes since they'd long since been splattered by alcohol from their numerous bar hops.

"But Riki! Why would you want to forget that?" Parry giggled with a smile, launching into a pirouet. "It was one of my best dance routines! And-"

WHOOOOOOSH!

Parry stopped in place, the brief gust of wind sending his hair flying about while he balanced on his shoes.

"Riki?" He asked, looking left and right down the road. "Riki?"

His Norse companion was gone, with not so much as a peep uttered. Parry was about to chalk it up to a drunken return to Asgard, her girl's night out mission fulfilled, when the wind shifted. And he caught the scent.

Dead, but not rotting. The smell of dried and embalmed flesh, like a body laid out in a funeral home for one day too many.

And seconds later, a smell had hadn't smelled since he cut himself shaving his legs the other day.

"Oh FUCKS!" Parry's mind and body switched into overdrive, trying to speed up his own metabolism to get rid of the drunken effects of the alcohol. Unfortunately, he couldn't get far past "tipsy" into "sober" before he started running.

They were only two blocks from his place. It had wards against vampires. And it was definitely off limits to anyone uninvited by order of de Lacy.

"Rikive," Parry yelled, taking off at full speed down the road, following her scent- he wasn't a bloodhound, and if the wind shifted he would lose her potentially for good. Bloodsuckers nomming on a demigoddess would upset de Lacy's secret, much less Heimdall himself.

Parry would be a dead Celestial if that happened, either way.

"If you can hear me, break a wall or something! Rikive!"

[KuroTenshi]

"I should get to go first! I found her!"

"Fuck you, I grabbed her!"

Rikive thanked her lucky stars that these people were less organized than a pack of hungry wolves. While they bickered she gripped the hilt of her sword and slowly rose back up to her feet. She taped into her magic, hoping that it would flush out the alcohol in her system so she could bloody fight. If she were sober she could lay waste to these insignificant predators.

She was raising her sword when she heard yelling in the distance. Parael. She had absolutely no idea what he could do but she needed someone to have her back. "I am here!" She shouted at the top of her lungs.

Movement flickered out of the corner of her eye before she was slammed up against the wall again, this time with a hand clenched around her throat and the other pinning down her sword wielding hand. The man who first approached her at the bar was glaring at her, but had a savage grin on his face; revealing his elongated canines. "I'm going to enjoy this."

Rikive bared her own teeth and kicked out with her leg, hitting him in the stomach and sending him flying back into the wall opposite of her. He hit the brick wall so hard it cracked and left an indent where his head and back hit. His nails had dug into her skin, creating small cuts when they were forcibly torn away from their grip.

Gripping her sword in both her hands Rikive let out a battle cry and charged at the group. She slashed at one of them with her sword and the woman screamed as her skin visibly began to smoke and there was an audible sizzle in the air from her flesh burning. She turned to attack another but one of the women jumped onto her back and made her stumble. She tried to throw her off but another of them tackled her to the ground. She yelled in anger and pain when she felt teeth sink into her arm, unprotected by her chainmail.

[Trinais]

"I am here!"

"Well that narrows it down a bit," Parry huffed. This wasn't the best part of the city for sure. Every other building was boarded up, every alley held a dozen sleeping hobos, and every house might as well have fortified razor wire.

But the CRACK! WHUMP! of a solid body impacting a wall (what was it with Rikive and wall impacts, Parry wondered) that gave away her final position.

As Parry came upon a cluster of vampires in the midst of a feeding frenzy, one of them with its mouth over her arm and the scent of Celestial blood in the air, he was now officially fucking done with this night.

"Alright," Parry snapped, standing in the entrance to the alleyway, feet spread, sailor skirt and hair flapping in the night breeze, his hands clapped together as if in prayer.

"You're going to let the lady go." Parry snapped his eyes shut, then opened them, his usual baby blues and pearl whites replaced with the eerie glow of blue dwarf stars.

"You're going to puke up everything you just drank from her." He opened his palms, a small spark lighting between them, growing into an ember.

"Or I'm going to turn this into a tiny sun, and ain't nobody going to fucking go home after tonight." The spark grew in size, becoming the tip of a candle flame, then the head of a medieval torch, its light emanating UV rays that would start to cook the skin of any vampire that hadn't yet drank from Rikive.

[KuroTenshi]

The vampires on top of Rikive hissed in pain and quickly backed away, retreating into the shadows and away from the potential sunlight. Except for the one still drinking from her arm, completely lost to the hunger and high he was receiving from her blood. Her sword arm free she swung it and cut off a chunk of the vampires head. Instantly he released her with a howl of pain, and she rolled back to her feet. He fell to the ground, withering in pain and clawing at his head.

Rikive glared at the group of vampires, now huddled in the shadows like the rats they were. She sheathed her sword and stumbled her way over to Parael, the wound on her arm from the feeding starting to heal.

She stopped beside Parael and gave him a flat and tired look. "Never, am I drinking that much again. Remind me of that oath in the morning." She threw one last look over at the vampires with a growl in her own throat before storming off past Parael. Well as best she could when she was still swaying like a drunk.

[Trinais]

Parry didn't hesitate to gradually increase the intensity of the sunlight in his palms. He had killed before to protect the secret of his blood. He would kill again to keep that secret. If he didn't have a drunk Norse Goddess to get home ASAP, he would've smoked the lot of them. That, and he didn't want to scare off Rikive with a lethal display of magical power.

Rikive had no such inhibitions. She took off a good third of the undead's skull with a swing of her sword. Lethal to any human. Crippling to a vampire. Even with Celestial blood in his digestive system, Creeper wouldn't be able regenerate brain tissue anytime soon.

"Huh," Parry said, tilting his head to the side as he stepped over a bit of skull on his way to Rikive. He kept the tiny sun in one palm as he extended a hand to Rikive.

"You okay hun?" He asked, throwing one arm over his shoulders. "Let's walk together."

With Rikive inebriated and Parry keeping her standing, it might have been an opportunity for the vampire gang to attack and claim two intoxicating dinners at once. Parry didn't give them the chance. The orb of sunlight in his free hand went sailing over their shoulders, dropping into the midst of the vampire gang like a grenade before exploding in a bright and very unpleasant nova.

"Let's get you back hun," Parry mumbled. "One foot in front of the other..."

========================

8:47 AM

========================

When Rikive woke the next morning, she would find herself in Parry's study- what he affectionately called his guest bedroom. A futon covered by a feather down comforter, on top of a fleece blanket. Unlike his own bedroom, this setup would pass a blacklight inspection with flying colors. The rest of the room was reserved for boxes and supplies for young children. Industrial size boxes of crayons. Coloring book bought in bulk. Extra clothes for children aged 2 months to 2 years. All neatly set up in row upon row of shelves in a room eight feet by twenty.

It had a strange smell to it- a mix of Crayola, baby powder and freshly dried laundry.

But the scent would be supplemented by another, wafting up beneath the crack in the door- one of pig meat frying and crackling in its own juices.

Taped to the door in Norse Runes, a sign printed on computer paper was taped just above the door handle.

'Breakfast at 9. Bathroom is upside the right. Boiling water on righted drain. Wage earning at 9:30. Me used Google Translate.'

================================

"You're sure the survivor was a vampire?"

Parry spun an egg on his index finger, balancing the iPhone on his shoulder while his left hand kept pushing the bacon around in the pan. "You know, I'm not sure. Could a werewolf walk away with half its skull missing?"

"Do not be sarcastic, angel."

"Celestial," Parry corrected. "'Angel' has too many connotations. We're a non-denominational lot. But as you wish, your eminence. What do you require of me to get this cleaned up?"

de Lacy chuckled on the other end of the line. For any member of the supernatural community, being in de Lacy's debt was not a good place to be. Parry was already so far in the red he'd ceased to care.

"He won't be too hard to find. I'll have Billy Rikker find him and stomp the rest of his skull in. I want another pint in exchange."

Parry blanched. Cracked the egg. Dropped the yoke in the frying pan.

"A pint? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm a Celestial- not a cow you can milk."

"I've been bleeding you for a hundred years Parry. I'll keep bleeding you as long as it suits me. I'll have the needles delivered this afternoon and will pick up the goods tonight. The offender's skull will be delivered with my courier. Now if you'll excuse me, it's early and I have to get some sleep. We'll discuss your new... friend... in detail tonight."

de Lacy hung up without so much as a goodbye, and not for the first time Parry felt a little soiled at the thought of doing another transfusion level "donation" this month. He eyed the orange juice container on the table beside the two glasses. He opted to pour Rikive a full glass for whenever she woke up, then popped the top and started chugging.

Best to get the nutrients now before he paid de Lacy.

[KuroTenshi]

The sounds of a conversation penetrated the darkness of sleep and caused her to stir.

Rikive awoke with a headache and very little memory of what happened last night. She definitely remembered the party, meeting Parael and them going from tavern to tavern sampling all of the alcohol mortals had to offer. There was a car with pink whiskers and...She could vaguely remember a fight?

She blinked her eyes open, staring around the orderly room with a mixture of confusion and no shortage of grouchiness. "Ugh." She groaned slowly pushing herself up on the bed. She saw her sword, belt, chain mail and shoes all piled into a corner next to the bed, leaving her in her red tunic and trousers. She ran her hand through her hair and grimaced when it met the mess that used to be a braid. Yanking out the ribbon she started to comb her fingers through her hair when the smell of cooking food reached her nose.

Hair somewhat in order she got up to her feet to head for the door, pausing when she noticed the note taped to it. Whatever 'Google Translate' was, Parael should reconsider using it again. She tossed the note aside and headed out of the bedroom, her bare feet hardly making a sound as she followed the smell of food.

"Parael?" She called out, bringing up her hand to rub at her eye as she entered the kitchen. She blinked seeing him drinking some kind of orange liquid in large quantities, but didn't comment on it. "Good morrow." She greeted him, a curious frown pulling at her lips. "Did I...fight someone last evening?" She asked, pressing her hand against her forehead and trying to drag the memories forth. "My memory grows...fuzzy after the tavern with the Irish car bomb drink. But...I think I remember drawing Winterthorn." She leaned back against a wall and shut her eyes to block out the sunlight coming into the apartment. It was starting to make her skull throb. "My head hurts."

She was silent for a moment before opening her eyes and looking at him in utter confusion. "Did thou...dawn a dress?"

[Trinais]

Parry paused drinking the carton of Tropicana, catching Rikive awake and in the kitchen doorway. The demigoddess looked healthy, whole, and not a bit pale. Hungover? Oh, fuck yes. But still alive which was all that mattered.

"Good morning my lovely snowflake," Parry said, putting the orange juice carton down. He slid to the side, closing the blinds for the kitchen windows as he spoke. "You did in fact fight someone. A few people, actually. A human at my party. A few more humans at Soho, though that was an arm-wrestling competition. You beat four lesbians and a dozen bears before getting bored. That was after car bomb number two."

The blinds closed, Parry turned around, finally giving Rikive a good glance at him through the now shaded kitchen. Parry Magnus had exchanged the sailor fuku from the evening before for a bizarre black skirted uniform. The Celestial's front was covered by an enormous ruffled apron, all frills and lace, spotted with specks of grease from the bacon in the frying pan.

Every now and then Parry liked to shock his overnight company in the morning to see if they'd stick around after. He considered the French Maid uniform to be going easy on Rikive. In fact, he'd left the feather duster upstairs in his bedroom.

"Winterthorn was drawn, I'm afraid." The bacon popped and fizzled, nearly done, and the celestial gave it a few more prods as he spoke to ensure a thorough job. "A soulless bit you last night after our final stop. I was going to wrap the arm but it was closed up by the time you hacked off half its skull. I disinfected it for good measure when we got back but you should be fine. Ah, listen, I was wondering if I could get your help with something today? I have to work most of the day and might need your help keeping things in order downstairs..."

Parry slid the bacon into a bowl of steaming hot scrambled eggs, fluffed with milk and butter, and popped out a couple of aspirin for Rikive from the medicine cabinet before sliding into his own seat and offering up the items as a potential bribe-slash-peace-offering.

"I mean. It shouldn't be all that bad for you. Just a few dogs to watch."

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive was so caught off guard seeing Parael, who she was pretty sure was a man, parading about the kitchen in a dress that she nearly stopped listening to him. Well...That answered the question if he wore a dress last night. If he was wearing one now, he very likely did last night as well. Though now she was left to wonder why?

However she focused less on his appearance and more on his words when he explained why she had drawn her sword. "Oh." She frowned and looked down at her arms. There was a large tear in the long sleeve of her tunic that she hadn't noticed before. Her sluggish mind wondered why they were attacked, though likely there was no good cause. At least she had been able to kill it, if she hacked off half it's skull it had to have died. "The wound healed thanks to my mothers blood. The magic I inherited from her allows me to heal myself of bodily harm." She tapped her temple lightly, then grimaced and instantly regretted the decision. "For head pain caused by too much drinking, it does nothing."

She joined Parael at his breakfast table, picking up the small pills and popping them into her mouth. "I can't thank thee enough for looking after me and taking me in." She said, picking up a strip of bacon to take a cautious bite of to make sure she could stomach actually eating the food before her. "Of course, I will gladly lend my services to pay back what I owe." She ate the rest of the bacon strip and picked up a fork to start eating eggs.

"I am rather fond of dogs as well." She informed him with a small smile. "So it may not even be much of a chore."

[Trinais]

Ah, so divinity didn't solve hangovers in Asgard then. Good to know for next time they went out. If there ever was a next time. Last night's hijinks made the likelihood of another excursion drop to 0% on his radar. Not until they got some things hashed out with de Lacy.

"Now Riki, it's no trouble having you here. It's been a while since I got to spend time with anyone who has as much fun as you do. Except maybe me, and being alone doesn't count towards having a party." Parry took his own seat across from Rikive, scooping up from the egg whites bowl. His little loft kitchen upstairs wasn't as spacious as the downstairs one. But downstairs was reserved almost exclusively for cookies, PB&J, and fruit salads. Still, the granite countertops didn't clash too much with the vintage '50s fridge. "Plus your daddy would have my hide if I didn't watch out for you while in Midgard. He's the only one that could turn me in, so-"

Shut up, shut up, shutup!

Parry had already said enough, pushing the line up until as much as he'd told de Lacy, and de Lacy knew fuck all about Parry and still held his leash.

"Ah, I mean... listen Riki. There's a certain decor to be observed down here. Let's pretend that there's the humans, who we'll call Hanes, and there's people like you and me, who we'll call Gucci. Now between us and the humans, there's other people- shifters, fae, vampires, wizards and witches- who we'll call Nike.

"The Hanes fight each other over whether or not the Gucci exist at all, or whose Gucci is better. I'm not sure how much your daddy told you about Midgard, but it's probably for the best if you keep the knowledge of your ancestry from the Hanes if only to avoid unpleasant incidents. The Nikes know we exist, but they also know how valuable our bloodlines are. A powerful enough Nike could overtake you and use your bloodline to their own end. Similar to last night.

"So it's especially valuable not to reveal your parentage to anyone you meet from now on if you can avoid it. I would suggest telling a little white lie to anyone who asks- that you're one of the Elven folk with a bit of troll blood mixed in to explain the strength you have."

Parry hadn't so much as touched his eggs when his Apple Watch tapped his wrist. That was the thirty minute warning mark.

"For now, Riki, we must gird you for battle. For we must earn our living properly!" Plate of egg whites in one hand and OJ jug in the other, Parry slid out from his chair and sashayed his way into the hallway.

"I'm going to get properly changed. You need to shower and get ready for our guests. I'll leave your new battle garb on a hanger outside the bathroom door!"

========================================================

Parry had to search high and low through his closet for a set of jeans he knew would fit Rikive. His closet came back woefully empty, so he had to check his enchanted diaper bag to find what he was looking for.

The only pair of not-skinny-jeans he owned, a set of Levis, that would probably be a little short in the leg but definitely wide enough to accommodate Rikive's more muscular thighs and waist. No matter what, he would definitely not make her suffer through wearing a skirt or dress (especially since he didn't own one of either that wasn't scandalously short or flamboyantly colored) he left a casual cream colored blouse on the hangar as well, if she preferred it over the red tunic. The tags were still on the blouse, but Parry couldn't help himself. Sometimes a sale was a sale and shit would look good on SOMEBODY someday.

Parry shucked the maid uniform, the gimmick having run its course after seeing the initial shock on Rikive's face, for a more family friendly pair of skinny mom jeans and a button up Gucci shirt. His hair he tied back in the ponytail and then tucked into the neckline of his shirt.

Downstairs, Parry made himself busy putting the playroom in order- rocking horses, play carpets, stuffed animals, puppy toys, all where they needed to be. At 10 to the first of his little angels showing up, he took some time to water the little indoor vegetable garden by the front windows and checked the changing table for enough supplies. Finally, knowing how close it was a full moon tonight, he laid out a few wee-wee pads in the downstairs bathroom.

The front door had a solid knock on it along with rabid scratching noises only a few seconds later.

Selene Henderson stood on the other side of the door in a bright yellow sun dress and her hair done up in a tight bob. At her feet, three pups fully transformed into their wolf selves already, and from the look of her belly, two more were in the oven and ready to pop. Criscrossed across her chest were two full bags bursting with extra clothes, toys, and pre-cooked ribeye in tupperwear if the smell was any indication.

Behind her, Parry caught the Green family bringing their Fae daughter up the sidewalk, and Lady Geneveve had her own niece witch hoisted on her shoulders- that one was a right terror, powerful in magic with the self-restraint of a three-year-old.

The boys tumbled in and immediately set to a tug of war over a dog toy Parry had laid out on the playroom floor.

"Good morning Parry," Selene said, stepping inside the front door with her prodigious belly and bags. "The boys have been like that all night and I doubt they'll transform back anytime soon. But I brought clothes just in case. Tyler isn't completely housebroken yet, so fair warning."

"Warning received and prepared for," Parry said, helping her unhoist the bags from her shoulders. A loud crash sounded from the playroom as the tug-of-war found its way to the garden. "What time you thinking of picking them up?"

"I'm thinking 3 or so, just after shift ends. And I'll bring an extra pot with me from the hardware section. If it's not me, it'll be Bill around 5."

Parry nodded. "Sounds good to me. I'll wait for one of you two."

Time and pickup established, Selene headed back to her cat while Parry gave the three wolf pups, now covered in dirt, a quick withering glance. They had enough sense to look thoroughly ashamed before Riley pounced on the toy again and the melee started anew.

"Rikive! Your dogs are here."

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive was mulling over what Parael had told her in the downstairs kitchen, merely exploring the space to familiarize herself with it. What he said about her father made her as curious as it confused her. What did he mean by 'turn him in'? Turn him in to what? To who? It was not her business to ask and even if she did she doubted Parael would tell her. Revealing as much as he did earlier had been a slip up on his part.

What he said about keeping her heritage secret made a lot of sense. None of the humans had taken her seriously when she claimed to be an Asgardian. And...she certainly didn't want a repeat of last night. It was embarrassing to think she could be overwhelmed and defeated by, well, anything. She was a descendant of the most powerful Gods in all the heavens! Thor himself taught her all she knew about fighting! She would never be so easily defeated.

She was pulled from her thoughts when she heard a knock on the door. She ran her hands over the blouse Parael had lent her and made her way to the front. With her hearing it was impossible not to eavesdrop on the conversation. She entered the playroom after it was over and Parael had called out to her.

Rikive stared down at the dirt covered wolf pups with her hands on her hips and eyebrows raised. So Parael had told a white lie himself. These were not dogs, these were lycanthropes. A trio of very rambunctious lycanthrope pups. At least they were just puppies, full grown wolves were a whole other matter. Still, thank goodness her headache had gone.

"Right." She said, cracking her knuckles while staring down at the happy puppies.

====================================================

Rikive sat in a delightfully soft and plush rocking chair, gently pushing it back and forth while the three wolf pups slept in her lap. They had a lot of energy, but she had more and was fairly a patient person. So it was quite easy to play with them until they tuckered themselves out. And a little singing had helped to completely lull them to sleep when they had tried fighting the pull of exhaustion.

Honestly, Parael had made it sound like it would be a challenge to look after the pups. It hadn't been that hard at all. Well, except for maybe when it came to matters of the bathroom. One of the boys had just started to go, but only got a little onto the carpet until she whisked him away to the bathroom with a rag held out to catch anymore pee.

That was the only real trouble she had with them. Now she got to take a little break with three little fluff balls sleeping peacefully on her lap. One of them was kicking his back leg a little and another was softly barking in his sleep. It was adorable and made her smile while gently running the back of her fingers over the top of one of their heads. It had been surprisingly fun and when they woke up she'd be ready for 'round two' so to speak.

[Trinais]

Tyler, Riley and Sandy were well in hand with Rikive. Thankfully she had the instinct and energy to keep up with the lycans. They could be annoying, but were more of a drain than a danger. On his own, Parry was able to barely keep order amongst the chaos of half a dozen paranormal children and the lycans often distracted him by constantly ripping up stuffed animals and playing too fiercely among themselves. A few times he'd left three pups in the playroom for half a minute, only to return with one wailing on the carpet as a full human, bite canine bite marks over his ear while the two other wolves tried to hide inside toy chests.

Today Parry was able to give his full attention to the other kids that showed up.

Turned out he needed the relief.

Estelle had recently come into her power and took to casting charms on toys to shrink them down to size to fit in her pockets. Parry had to keep un-doing the charms and take special care not to let her try such a thing around the other kids, rubbing prevention wards on their wrists just in case Estelle got it in her head to be disobedient.

"Don't let that wash off," PArry said after rubbing the Sharpie symbol onto Rikive's hand. Out of the corner of his eye, Parry caught Estelle casting the shrink charm onto the doll house he'd set up, turning it into a tiny lego-like building. Right. No taking chances on that one. He went ahead and drew a second charm on Rikive's other wrist. "For the love of Odin, don't let that wash off."

One of the Fae, a dryad named Lily, had hidden herself inside the small collection of potted plants in the corner and took it on herself to try and play hide-and-seek there. The pots, warded against fae magic, wouldn't let her practice magic inside them. Unfortunately the pups had already broken one of the pots and Lily took it upon herself to transform a seed in the loose dirt into a tiny copse of mulberry bushes.

"Lily! Lily, no! My carpeting! Unky Parry bought this on special order from Marseilles!"

-----------------------------------------

While 'Unky Parry' was busy trying to get Lily to stop growing berries and Miss Riki played with the puppies, Estelle was left to play with her dollhouse, making it bigger and then smaller like Aunt Gilly had taught her last night.

It was a neato trick and she had all the toys in her toy chest right inside her pocket, but nobody was paying attention to her anymore. It wasn't fair that the dumb dogs got to play with Miss Riki and Mister Parry spent all his time with the dumb fairies!

He thinks you're a big girl, came a voice on the wind.

"Whossat?" Estelle asked, turning her head around every which way. But all the other kids were busy watching Lily make mulberries big as soccer balls or playing with Miss Riki.

A friend, the voice said. A special friend. Only you can hear me Estelle. Call me... Lady.

Estelle frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. "Mumma says not to talk to strangers. She said strangers could be demons who could eat me!"

The voice chuckled. Your mommy is very smart. But I'm not a demon. In fact, I'm just like your Auntie. I want to teach you a new trick on a toy. A very special toy. But we have to go to Unky Parry's room for it.

"Will everyone else like the trick?"

They will LOVE the trick. Especially Unky Parry.

-----------------------------------------

Mulberries. I fucking HATE mulberries!

"Lily, hun, time to stop." Parry took another berry, this one baseball sized, off the vine and handed it to one of the other children to eat. He didn't care which one- at the very least Lily would keep him from having to go in the kitchen for snack time.

"Can you at least make strawberries? I can make shortcake later..."

There were excited squeals from all the assembled children. Cake? AND berries?

"NO!" Lily said, putting that idea down right away to a chorus of groans. "I want mulbewwies!"

"Lily Greenleaves! If you do not stop making mulberries in my playroom, I swear on the Fairy Queen-" that icy bitch- "that I will go to the store and buy a gallon of weedkiller so I can pull you out of there myself!"

"NO!" Lily stamped her foot behind a wall of vines and leaves. Another pair of berries fell off the tree, rolling toward the rocking chair where Rikive sat with the pups.

Parry gave her an exasperated glance.

"Would you mind using those lovely muscles of yours to, er, open a path into the brush?"

-----------------------------------------

Estelle left the grown ups in the playroom while Lily kept making trouble. Unky Parry handed her a mulberry as big as her head. Estelle took one bite and stuck out her tongue.

ICK!

Why couldn't Lily make strawberries?

She'll make strawberries for you soon, the voice whispered. When you show her the new trick. Now let's go upstairs. That a girl!

The voice guided her up the steps one at a time while everyone else was busy in the play room with Lily's mess. Estelle usually stayed away from the stairs, not because she didn't want to explore what was up there, but because Unky Parry always kept the doors upstairs and downstairs locked and no one could ever get in.

At the top of the stairs she had to stand on her tip-toes to reach the knob on the door, strained to turn it, and was ready to tell the voice "I told you so" when it wouldn't open.

Except this time, the door clicked and swung open.

Hurry! The voice whispered, suddenly much less friendly than it was downstairs. Inside. Turn right- no , other way! Other way! Good Estelle! Smart Estelle! I knew I could trust you.

That door, the open one.

Unky Parry's room was messy. Much messier than Estelle's room. He had clothes everywhere in piles and piles, fancy jewelry on the walls and a super big bed, probably fun to bounce on! She wanted to bounce on it so much she started to step toward it-

There! There there there! On the floor by the window!

Estelle stopped, looking over by the window where the voice told her to. A mountain of wrinkled fancy shirts was piled up to the window, dirty and clean, and right on top of that pile was a great big sword as big as her arm. Dark gray and all beaten up, with marks all over its side. It looked really scary...

Go touch it.

Estelle shook her head. "Swords is bad. I wanna jump on the bed!"

The voice sighed. I suppose it was too much to ask. Time to go about this the hard way.

Estelle stumbled forward as somebody pushed her from behind. HARD.

--------------------------------------

Parry's ears pricked a bit, warning bells going off in his head. The energy level in the house had shifted on his radar. He'd described it as a kind of controlled chaos once to a warlock who remarked on the aura of the home.

Someone had introduced a level of not-so-controlled chaos into his home.

"Head count," Parry snapped, giving up on the task of getting Lily out of her thorn patch. "Everyone here, say 'Me!'"

-----------------------------------------

"Hey! I-"

MOVE! The voice snarled, shoving Estelle up the pile of laundry. Up! Up! Up!

"I wanna go downstairs!" Estelle's lip started quivering. The shoves made her scrape a knee once, making it really red. Now at the clothes mountain, she felt something grab her by the neck. Something with really big nails that pinched her skin and lifted her to the top of the pile where the sword lay.

There. Not so bad, Estelle? Smart Estelle. Pretty Estelle. Let's teach you the trick. Now take your finger and draw on the sword like this...

---------------------------------------

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine- Ah, we're short a witch. Estelle?"

Parry abandoned the effort to get Lily out of the thorn patch, thinking back. He'd drawn a ward on Estelle to keep her from shrinking herself by accident or design. And he hadn't heard the old pipes run so she couldn't have washed it off.

"Estelle?" Parry's nostrils flared as the energy level shifted in the house again. From upstairs. Witch magic. Hiccup! "Oh great..."

He'd forgotten to lock the upstairs door after Rikive came down to join him. Estelle must've gone upstairs and started playing with magic.

On the plus side, Lily's thorn patch had started to recede on its own. The girl had made so many berries she was down and out for naptime an hour early.

"Riki, can you -HICCUP!- go upstairs and grab Estelle?"

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive had to carefully remove the sleeping pups from her lap and onto the rocking chair when Parael called for her help. They continued to sleep in their little fur pile and she trotted over to help Parael with the fae girl. It'd be a lot easier to get through the thick brush if she had something to hack the branches off.

She was getting nowhere fast with that task when Parael asked her to do a much simpler task. Gladly she abandoned trying to make her way through the damned berry bushes and made her way to the stairs. Estelle was the little witch that had been shrinking everything all afternoon, hopefully she wouldn't be up there shrinking all of Parael's furniture.

She frowned when she heard the girl whimpering. Worried she had hurt herself Rikive picked up her pace to follow the sounds. "Estelle? Sunshine art thou hurt?" She called out before entering Parael's room. She gasped seeing the girl about to touch a sword. "Estelle no!" She shouted, rushing forward to scoop the girl up into her arms.

"Thou art too young for a steal sword. Thou must first start with a wooden, practice sword." Rikive chastised the little girl, looking down at the unsheathed sword with a frown. She 'tsk'ed under her breath. "Parael needs a scabbard for that blade." She said to herself before looking down at the young witch in her arms. "Stay downstairs from now on, okay?"

[Trinais]

When Rikive came back downstairs with the whimpering Estelle in arms, Parry was already busy taking apart the mulberry bushes. Lily and all the other children were gorging themselves on the berries and making a mess of their faces while the pups continued snoozing in their puppy pile.

"There's the -HICCUP!- little terror." Parry thumped his chest, trying to shake whatever was ailing him.

Estelle pouted in Rikive's arms, kicking the air and throwing a tantrum to be let down to play. Parry was inclined to let her scream it out and throw a tantrum back in her face. Unfortunately, the girl beat him to it and promptly passed out from her antics.

Parry paused in place, adjusting his shirt a little to survey the damage. The garden was a mess. The kids all had faces sticky with jelly, and they had one escapee who had been returned. All in all, not a bad morning.

"Alright," Parry mumbled, "I think it's -HICCUP!- nap time for everyone. Can you keep an eye down here? I'm going to go see what Estelle touched upstairs..."

[KuroTenshi]

"Alright." Rikive nodded, looking down at the now sleeping child. She shifted her to a more comfortable position as she hunted for a soft place to set her down. After she laid her down she quickly fetched a rag wet with soap and water to wash the berry juice from the children's faces.

She spent the next five or so minutes chasing down each sticky child to clean them up. Some held still and let her rub the juice off their hands and faces, giggling from the tickling cloth. Others screamed and threw a fit when she finally caught them.

When she was done she announced it was time to sleep. A few of the children went to get the sleeping matts and blankets, they couldn't lift them but at least she found them. Another few minutes were spent laying out matts and blankets and getting the children at least laying down. Some went right to sleep, a few just laid quietly staring off into space with heavy eyes and a few others were pouting. They weren't running around and appeared to be settling so Rikive sat down on a bean bag chair with a soft sigh. She stretched for a moment before settling herself in the chair to watch over the children.

[Trinais]

Parry left Rikive downstairs to see to the kids, ascending the stairs with the utmost care, on the lookout for any witch charms Estelle may have laid on her way up. The girl was young but naturally talented with magic.

Still, Parry's wards were in place and hadn't been tripped by anything malevolent. If a demon so much as had a thought within a kilometer of the place, it would register clear as day with him.

All the upstairs doors were still closed- Rikive's, the kitchen, the bathroom- but Parry's was still open.

Bad news.

Parry broke into a mad sprint for the door, not caring that he slid down the floorboards on his socks, missing the bedroom for the bathroom door.

"If she shrank my four poster French, I'm going to-"

It was all still there. The four poster bed.

The hot pink chest in the corner.

The mountains of clothes.

Parry knew the disaster that was his room like the back of his own manicured hand. So his eyes were able to zero in on the disturbed pile of laundry by the window- atop which rested his Dawn Blade.

Which had been moved 8 millimeters down the laundry pile from where he'd originally left it.

"Girl'd crazy," Parry said, marching up to the sword. "Gonna hack off her own finger one day playing with things. But I might ask her to shrink it down before she leaves." Parry reached down and grabbed the hilt, lifting the blade. "Might be safer for-"

==============================

Downstairs in the playroom, the air pressure in the room shifted, like a plane taking off in the air. There was no roar of jet engines though, or an uncomfortable popping of ears.

But this shift in air pressure was swiftly followed by the bellowing howls of a babe from the upstairs.

Parry Magnus, bestowed the title Shepherd of the Young by his superiors, sat in a heap of his adult clothes while clutching the Dawn Blade's hilt in one hand.

Oh, My, Gods, he wanted to say, looking at his pudgy fingers with disbelief, the words coming out like the wails of a crying one-year-old. I GOT FUCKING FAT! The little witch made me fat! And Shrink! And...

Parry spared a glance down, a warm wet feeling spreading across his legs, then under them.

Oh. Shit.

Thankfully, he didn't have to do that.

Yet.

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive jumped when she heard the crying of a child...from upstairs? She frowned, eyes roaming over the children laying down for nap time. They were all present. The only person upstairs was Parael. She hesitated for a moment before getting up and heading for the stairs to see what was wrong. Most of the children were sleeping so they should be fine.

"Parael?" She called out as she walked toward the wailing child. Which again seemed to be coming from Parael's bedroom. "Parael, does thou need my help?" She asked entering into the room. Her pale green landed on the crying baby and panic swept through her seeing him holding the sword. "Again with the bloody sword?" She asked in exasperation.

"Parael! Where art thou? Come put away thy damned sword!" She yelled out for the man crouching before the upset babe. She made a face smelling piss as she gently pried the babies pudgy fingers from the hilt. "There." She sighed, kicking the blade away with her foot while inspecting the toddler for injury.

As she inspected the baby she realized he was draped in the clothing Parael had been wearing. "What in the Nine Worlds?" She muttered. "Parael!" She yelled again, looking around for any sign of him being somewhere in this mess of a room. When he did not respond she turned to look down at the baby.

There was no way...

Rikive leaned down slightly to look into the babe's eyes. "Parael?" She asked softly with a frown.

[Trinais]

Over 20% of his body was now baby fat. He stank of urine. He was lifted in the air by a woman who he'd known for a little over 15 hours. Said warrior woman kicked a blade made for cleaving demons in two, forged in the heart of a dying star, like it was a Lego piece she'd just stepped on. And aside from the massive shirt hanging over his tiny shoulders, he was naked as the day he was formed.

There was no way in Hells he was going to live this down when he got back to normal.

If he got back to normal.

Yeah! It's me Riki! Look at me- I've still got the hair. Do I still have the hair? Please baby Vishnu, tell me I still have the hair! Marco works so hard on it at the salon every Saturday!

He honestly couldn't tell. When Parry tried to bring his hand up to check the top of his head, his pudgy fingers landed on his nose. Poor motor control or unused to his adjusted body type? He could deal with the first, but the thought of the second made his baby blue eyes tear up all over again.

Estelle- she had to do this. Drew some kind of charm on my sword, something tied to me so intimately. But how? She only knows how to shrink things, not make them young. Hell, de Lacy would kill for this magic alone! And why would he do this to me anyway, even if she could? She has no reason to- aside from cruel fun, and Estelle may be spoiled but she's not cruel. And if it's someone powerful enough to know how to cast a spell like this, why this spell in particular? I could've been wasted by the trap on my sword. Dead in a heartbeat.

Whatever the answers were, he was pretty sure of one thing. If Estelle didn't do this, and if there was no way to reverse it, he was well and truly fucked. It took him a solid 10,000 years to grow from Cherubim-sized like he was now into a fully formed and trained Celestial. And even then, he didn't need Pampers.

I can't talk. I probably can't write. And I definitely can't walk. So... how do we communicate and get out of this?

Parry frowned, his lips quivering as he started spilling over into tears in no time once again, his baby blue eyes squinting shut as his vision grew watery from the crying in Rikive's arms.

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive stammed slightly as she held the baby close and gently bounced him up and down. "It's okay, it's okay." She whispered, quickly walking out of the bedroom and back downstairs. Maybe Parael was back down there because he could not have honestly turned into a one year old.

First she needed to put a diaper on this baby.

All the kids were sleeping when she returned to the play room and she laid the blonde hair child onto the changing table. She had watched Parael change diapers all day, so she felt like she had a fairly good idea on how to do it. She took off the now giant shirt from the baby and quickly dressed him in the diaper before he pissed or shit on anything else. "Ugh, I should have never come to Midgard." She muttered to herself, picking up the now half naked baby. She carried him with her as she hunted around downstairs then back upstairs for any sign of adult Parael.

There was nothing, not a trace of the full grown man.

Rikive groaned, pressing a free hand to her face as she returned to the playroom. "Okay." She breathed out, gingerly setting the baby down on the ground. She held up a finger and said slowly, "Don't move." She had an idea for communicating between them. If that was really Parael and he still had the mind of an adult because clearly he couldn't talk like one. She found two blocks marked with the letter's 'Y' and 'N'. Should be simple enough.

She returned to the baby and sat down, setting the blocks in front of him. "This block is for 'yes' and this block is for 'no'." She explained, tapping the top of each block. "If thou art Parael, then pick up the 'yes' block." She instructed, keeping her voice down so as to not wake the children.

[Trinais]

Gods dammit. Dammit all! Damn it by Odins eyes!

Parry was single-handedly the fussiest baby he could possibly be as Rikive got him "dressed" downstairs ('She didn't even use the Huggies Jeans-style I bought! I could kill it even in faux jeans!') but when she was finished, there was the brief realization that maybe this was why kids gave him the same problems when he changed them.

After that, Parry's cheeks were redder than an apple's.

Gods help her if the kids wake up, Parry thought as Rikive plopped him down on the soft carpet. Feels like I've got a dozen pillows between my thighs. Not cool. This thing makes my ass look fucking huge.

Parry was ready to give up and start crying again at the thought of being so woefully dressed- surely Gucci made onesies!- but Rikive had struck on a genius idea. The toy blocks went on the ground and while Parry's mind desperately wanted him to play with the brightly colored 'N' block, he had enough self restraint to resist the temptation.

Instead, he crawled ever so slowly toward the 'Y' block.

Picked it up.

And stuffed it in his mouth, gnawning on it with his baby teeth.