[IC] Divine Hijinks

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive hung her head, wondering if she should take that 'yes' as a serious answer or just a coincidence. However there really was no evidence to suggest that Parael, adult Parael was anywhere in the house. There was a lot of evidence to make her believe that this baby was indeed Parael. One; she hadn't seen him get dropped off or anywhere in the play room. Two; she found him upstairs in Parael's bedroom, in his clothes holding his sword.

The sword.

The same one the witch child had been playing with.

Rikive lifted her head and narrowed her eyes, lips pursing together. Her eyes landed over at the snoozing Estelle and wanted to scowl. It was a ridiculous idea, surely. The girl had been shrinking things all morning, but to be able to turn a full grown man into a baby? She couldn't have been that skilled...could she?

The demigoddess gently took the 'Y' block from Parael and set it back on the ground. "Parael, were thou turned into a babe after touching thy sword?" She asked him with a frown.

The brief idea that this was all some kind of trick to mess with her entered her mind. If that was the case and Parael was off laughing his head off then she would punch his pretty head off his shoulders for making her the fool. Looking after her and letting her into his home or not, she did not like being made a fool of.

Sitting here and trying to have a serious conversation with a baby, she surely looked like a fool.

[Trinais]

Oh shit. She's pissed.

Baby Parry shrank back a little, or tried to, and promptly fell on his back. Arms flailing like an upended turtle, he was finally able to roll back up into a crawling position.

But at least she's on the right track with the sword.

Parry crawled back toward the Y block ever so slowly to keep his arms and legs steady. Grasping the little wooden block, he licked it one more time before casting it as hard as he could toward Estelle- sending the block flying a good eighteen inches.

Not my best toss...

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive frowned over in Estelle's direction and got up on her knees so she could pick up Parael. She sat him back down so he was upright and picked up the 'Y' block to set back in front of him. She was willing to believe that was more than coincidental. "So the witch child did this?" She sighed out, running her hand over her face.

She held up her fingers and tried to make a rectangle shape. "The black rectangle, mortals use that for communicating long distances right? Can I use one to communicate with the girls parents? If she learned this from them, maybe they know how to reverse what she did." And hopefully before all of the children woke up. Three puppies weren't hard to look after but just getting all these children to sleep had been a rather frustrating ordeal.

She wasn't sure how well she would be able to care for all of them until their parents arrived to retrieve them.

[Trinais]

Estelle didn't do it. She's not smart enough to know. But she had something to do with it. Gods, I hate one word answers!

Parry was about to reach for the 'Y' Block again when Rikive started firing off questions at him rapid fire. His attention span was shot to begin with and being reduced to only a foot tall and unable to control when he peed didn't help that fact much either. But he had to guess the answer to all those questions was 'Yes' so he went after the 'Y' block again, tossing it toward his enchanted diaper bag on the far wall.

He kept all of his valuables in there, including his phones. Rikive would have to go fishing through that portal into the Nether realm, and while she was unlikely to find anything dangerous in there, it was unlikely she'd get one of her phones on her first go.

Come on come on come on! Get the bag please.

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive sighed and got up to fetch the block, not sure what it was Parael was throwing it toward. Maybe his mind was more infant like than she thought? Children certainly loved throwing objects. As she retrieved the block her eyes landed on the bag Parael seemed to carry with him wherever he went.

Human's kept their belongings in bags, maybe his rectangle was inside of it? Also likely why he threw the block in this direction.

She picked up the bag and brought it back over, setting the block back in front of Parael. She opened the bag and frowned seeing nothing inside. "There's nothing in here." She muttered, reaching in to try one of the pockets along the interior to see if maybe it was in there. To her surprise, her hand went in deeper than she expected. "Aaah, enchanted bag." She wrapped her fingers around something, but it clearly wasn't the rectangle. An umbrella handle it felt like.

"No." She released it and continued to dig around. She felt cloth but not the rectangle. "No." Sighing Rikive stuck her hand in deeper. "What is this? It feels like a..." She trailed off and shut her eyes, let out a heavy breath through her nose as she tried to keep from laughing. She didn't know why Parael would have such a...thing, perhaps the man got lonely. She coughed to try and regain her composure and released the object. "Right, not the rectangle." She said, a grin on her lips and her voice shaking as she tried to keep from laughing.

[Trinais]

Parry nearly choked on the drool coming out of his mouth as Rikive fished around inside his enchanted Gucci bag. Parry'd had a hundred bags like this one ever since coming to the city, and they all lead to the same enchanted pocket in the Nether. It was easy for him to stash whatever he wanted for later. He was pretty sure he had a house full of diapers and an entire toy store in there.

When Rikive reached inside even deeper and gripped something that let to a quiet WHHRRRRRRRRRRRR noise, he realized there was probably a small section in that bag that could definitely be marked "Adults Only" in most states.

Don't laugh! I'd like to see you get through a hundred years without a dry spell!

Rather than letting Rikive continue to fish through the bag for all of Parry's embarrassing items (Oh god, what if she pulled out 'The Destroyer'? It could legitimately be used as a club.) Parry crawled across the carpet as fast as his pudgy limbs could take him until he reached the bag.

He grabbed the open flap of the bag, hoisted himself over its lip, and dove in head first until only his bottom and naked legs stood out.

And yet he kept falling into the bag, inch by inch, until only his toes were peeking out of the top.

The inside was completely dark but Parry tried to home in on the Cell phone inside the bag. Feeling his way around the pocket dimension, he was able to find a stuffed animal section that stank of baby powder and spilled lotion. Hanging in the pocket of a stuffed kangaroo was his old iPhone 4S.

Almost- almost got it-

Which was when Parry's legs slipped over the edge of the bag and he felt his pudgy body falling into the pocket dimension inside.

OH SHIT!

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive had to stifle her laughter watching Parael crawl determinedly to the diaper bag. She pulled out her arm to let him find the rectangle in the mysterious depths of the bag. She got a little worried when he crawled inside and then more so when he sank in a bit deeper. She didn't know if it was possible for him to fall in and he hadn't started crying like he was in distress.

However she held her hands over him and watched carefully, ready to react if needed. So when she saw him start to disappear far to quickly her hands snapped forward to grab his legs before he was completely swallowed up. Keeping one hand on his ankle she reached in with her other hand to get under his chest and lift him back out.

She settled him against her chest and blew a stray piece of hair from her face. "No more of that." She told him, eyeing the bag with distrust. Parael may know his way around inside of it but she certainly didn't. If he fell in...She wasn't sure if she'd be able to pull him back out. She didn't know how the enchanted bag worked or how one was supposed to summon an object from it.

"There must be some other way to message Estelle's parents." She muttered, looking around the playroom as though the answer would reveal itself to her.

[Trinais]

Going down the bag felt an awful lot like that scene from Alice in Wonderland where Alice tumbled down the rabbit hole. But Parry was certain that if he fell down this bag, there would be no climbing out in his current state. Not until he had fully functioning limbs and muscles.

10,000 Years of isolation in a Gucci diaper bag. Man, there are worse ways to die but this still isn't my favorite.

When Rikive scooped Parry up by his tummy and started pulling him out of the bag, he had to breathe a sigh of relief. He tried to grasp his iPhone in one hand but his pudgy fingers couldn't wrap around the corner with any surety. He was able to grab a little something else though.

As Rikive brought him back into the sunny playroom, Parry had a bundle of cloth tangled in one chubby arm. One part, a bright pink onesie that read "Mom says I'm FABULOUS!" and the other, a lime green baby sling for carrying around a child.

Parry had all but given up hope as the kids started to stir from their nap time, resigning himself to sitting in the corner and being as well-behaved as possible to stop the toddler hurricane that was about to be unleashed on Rikive, when the universe gave them a break. The outside zipper pocket of the Gucci bag started to vibrate softly (and NOT like it had just before, thank you very much!) in rhythm.

Oh shit! My old 5c! Forgot all about that one...

An old, hot pink iPhone in the front zipper pocket rumbled quietly, its speaker on silent, in the front of the bag. Caller ID on the front simply read "de Asshole" and underneath it "King Asshole, Lord of the Assholes."

By the time the zipper was opened though, the phone went straight to voicemail.

Fuck! de Lacy was going to send someone once last night's vampire was taken care of...

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive looked at the bag with interest when it started to vibrate on an outside pocket. She settled Parael on her lap and reached inside, easily pulling out the damned rectangle they had been hunting for. "Thou didn't remember this being in this pocket?" She said flatly down at the baby. She looked at the screen and saw a message that said 'Missed call' then a very unfortunate nickname underneath from said missed caller.

She didn't really care at the moment to know and studied the device with a deepen frown. 'Slide to unlock' was at the bottom of the screen. Unlock what? She already had the device in her hand. Rikive wasn't about to get into an argument with an object though and set the phone on the ground before sliding it a few inches across the carpet.

There, it should unlock now! Whatever it was that was locked away but she suspected she needed. Though she stared at the device and nothing happened. Except for the screen dimming and then growing black.

Her attention was drawn away by the children and she could hear them starting to wake up. She swore in Old Norse, not sure if she could handle looking all of those children at once. The puppies had been easy, there were just three of them and all she had to do was wave a toy around so they could chase it.

But the puppies and the other dozen or so children? "Never should have come to Midgard."

[Trinais]

Parry felt his cheeks turn red and looked to the carpet, hiding his face under one pudgy palm as Rikive sent him an accusing glare. It wasn't his fault! He had one iPhone in every color and size- they were just so trendy with his outfits! How could he keep track of that many phones?

Thankfully he wasn't feeling stupid for long. Rikive took the instructions on the phone as literally as she could and was stumped by modern technology.

Parry giggled, then clapped a hand over his mouth to stop the laughter for fear of offending the goddess. She might be technologically illiterate, but she could definitely lock him in a high chair to get one more kid out of her hair.

Speaking of kids, the pups were starting to nibble on each others scruffy necks. Lily would be down for the count until her mom came in and Estelle was probably going to be too shaken up and tired from whatever she had (or hadn't) done to the sword.

That only left a half dozen fae, witches and lesser children for Rikive to look after until Estelle's parents picked her up at 3. And while Parry's body had shrunk in size, his brain remained somewhat functional- the clock over the playroom said it was 12:47.

Two hours until half these kids are gone. I've gotten through worse before. Parry reached one pudgy hand at the phone, trying his best to get it working without putting it in his mouth. Shouldn't be too bad. I'll have this thing figured out before long.

The bright pink iPhone in one hand, Parry brought it up to his face to try and get a better view and slide the bar to the side.

Then stuck one of its corners in his mouth.

Welp. We're boned.

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive took the brightly colored phone from Parael when he stuck it in his mouth to chew on. Clearly he either didn't know how to work it or his mind was more infant like than she originally thought. She rubbed the saliva off on her shirt and stuck the device into the back pocket of her pants. The children were waking up and she looked around for some place to put Parael so he'd be out of the way.

She picked him up and carried him over to a corner filled with stuffed animals. She set him down there and pulled over a small bucket full of brightly colored shape blocks. Honestly she felt a bit ridiculous doing such a thing, but if the man had the mind of a baby, maybe the blocks would keep him entertained while she watched after the rest of the children.

"I just need thou to sit here while take care of the rest of the children." She explained to him.

The phone vibrated in her back pocket and she jumped before retrieving it from her pocket. "King of Assholes again?" She muttered when she saw the name on the screen. There were two buttons 'accept' or 'decline'. She had no idea what each button did, but 'King of Assholes' didn't sound like a very pleasant thing. She pushed the 'decline' button and blinked as the screen changed and a bunch of different decorated squares appeared on the screen. "It's...doing something different. What do I do?" She asked, holding it up for Parael to see.

[Trinais]

Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me right now, Rikive? Nobody puts baby in a corner!

Parry was fit to throw a tantrum and bopped a stuffed bear on the nose as she placed him the corner, making a loud squeaking noise. Which set the three wolf pups barking furiously as all three chased after the noise of what sounded like a squeaky toy. Parry immediately regretted that mistake as they found the toy, then found him- and started licking his face all over.

Parry toppled to the ground in a puppy pile as the lycans mobbed him until one of their tails smacked the bear and made the squeak noise again. That set them off on a new target and left Parry free to rub the drool off his face with one chubby arm.

Rikive was busy with the phone the whole time and when she showed Parry the phone as it rang, he had to gulp in dread. de Lacy wasn't fucking around. Parry raised his hand and pointed to the "Phone" app on the device when he was interrupted by a furious pounding on the front door- someone wanted in and wasn't keen on waiting.

Outside the window Parry saw two men in dark jackets and sunglasses trying to get a look inside. The men were eerily alike- the same muscular build, the same black hair, and pale skin. Twins, and probably sorcerors if they were walking around in the daylight. They saw Rikive with baby Parry and waved her toward the door. Between them they held up a small metal box, big enough for a melon to fit inside and dripping what looked like tomato juice from one corner at the base.

Oh fuck. de Lacy found the vampire from last night.

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive looked toward the window with a frown, not liking the looks of those men in the least. She looked at the puppies attacking the teddy bear, the squeaking and ruckus they were making starting to wake up the other children. Perfect. Two strange men were outside, she had an adult turned infant in front of her and the children were waking up from their naps.

After putting the phone in her pocket again she picked Parael back up, moving him away from the rough housing lycan puppies so they didn't accidentally hurt him. She sat him down in a high chair because there was no way she would be answering the door with him in her arms. She couldn't fight properly if she was worrying about dropping a fragile infant.

Running her hand through her hair she made her way to the door and cracked it open slightly. Her eyes looked between the two men then down at the metal box between them, dripping blood on the concrete stoop. Her stomach clenched. What in the Nine Worlds were these men here for? Was this some kind of warning for Parael? An act of intimidation?

"What doth thee want?" She asked them with a scowl, not hiding the fact that she didn't trust the sight of them for a moment.

[Trinais]

Parry struggled to look beyond the corner, trying his hardest to get a clear view of the front door from the high chair, but failing spectacularly. He was stuck in good while the pups savaged the bear beneath the chair, rattling its legs while he sat perfectly still. Rikive had strapped him in good and tight, so he wouldn't kiss the floor if it tipped over, but he wasn't keen on taking that fall in the first place.

Shit. Shit! They're going to want me to pay up front!

The two men at the front door stood perfectly still, their gloved hands on the box as they looked through the door crack at Rikive, then at the address beside the door.

They were in the right place...

"Where is Parry," Right asked in a casual voice. He might be a UPS man with the way he acted- if he wasn't dressed like he just walked off the set of The Godfather.

Left hoisted the box just a little on his side. "We have what he asked for this morning. The... company would like its cut now if possible."

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive's frown deepened. "Parael is...indisposed at the moment." She explained to them, glancing down again at the metal box. She had no idea what was going on. What in the world did Parael ask to be done? Another good question, just what kind of power did he have to ask for someone's severed head? She was just guessing that was a head inside of the box, it was the perfect size and shape for it and what better way to send a message to someone than with a head?

"He can't come to the door. Tell me what he owes thee and I will see if I can find thy payment." Maybe if she gave them some of her gold they would go away.

She felt the impact of small bodies against her feet and she looked down at the three puppies, jumping on her legs and begging for her attention. "Boys, not now." She bent down and picked up the bear one of them had in his mouth and tossed it far away from the door. They chased after it, tumbling over each other or tripping over their own feet in their mad dash to the toy. Some of the children were sitting up or standing now and she wanted to swear. She needed to make these men leave.

Rikive felt the phone in her pocket vibrate again, but she ignored it and kept her gaze on the two men.

[Trinais]

"Indisposed?" Right asked. "What the hell does 'indisposed' mean you foreign bitch?"

Left gave his brother an incredulous look. "Really? You're gonna ask that? He was indisposed last month when we came for payment. You want to barge in on him like that again?"

Right paled. "I'd forgotten that. I worked so hard not to remember that image."

Left nodded to Rikive. "If he's doing what I think he's doing, tell Parry he's not supposed to use light bulbs like that." Left lowered his end of the box and Right followed suit. "We'll leave this with you. de Lacy will want his cut from the wizard by sunrise."

Left and Right both gave Rikive a last awkward look as they backed away. Right whimpered quietly as a horrified look came over his face.

Inside the box, the head of Rikive's attacker lay motionless, its mouth hanging open over a face painted black and blue from bruises. Rikive's blood had gone a long way toward healing the skin over the wound, but even gods couldn't regenerate bone and brain matter quickly. As a result, his face had an odd tilt to it, like an egg that had been smashed open on one side only to be covered with plastic wrap.

Parry struggled against the restraints of his seat, trying to get out so he could crawl to the basement door.

I have to get downstairs! I have to get de Lacy's pint.

He froze, stopping his fidgeting, then looked at himself.

Wait. I'm only 20 pounds, if that. I don't even have a pint of blood to give him.

I'm fucked.

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive gave the man a flat look at the insult, about to reply when the man on the left did so for her. She was mildly curious about what they were talking about, but thankfully whatever it was they were remembering; it was making them leave. Though they left behind the dripping box. Rikive made a face as she bent down and picked up the box by the handles to bring it inside.

Not knowing what to do with it, she carried it upstairs just so it was out of the way. She'd figure out what to do with it later. For now she had to look after the children downstairs.

She returned to the playroom when the phone in her back pocket vibrated again. It was beginning to annoy her because every time, the strange sensation of it vibrating made her jump in surprise. Growling she pulled out the phone, looking at it for some sign of how to switch it off. Giving up, she just tossed it onto a high shelf where it could buzz all it wanted without distracting her.

The children were all wide awake now, with a few exceptions, and they were already returning to their chaotic activities. Sighing she looked over at Parael while rolling up the sleeves of her blouse. "This has to repay my debt in full."

[Trinais]

Parry watched as Rikive tossed the phone up onto the book shelf and winced. That thing was valuable! It was vintage pink 5C! She could have cracked the screen! Did she crack the screen? Did it even still work?

The phone started vibrating once again, shifting ever so slightly as it did.

Well, that answers that question.

With nowhere to go and nothing to do, and no way of communicating with Rikive, it looked like the two of them would just have to tough it out and wait until Estelle's parents got there to pick the little witch up.

It couldn't be that bad?

====================================================
2:57 PM
====================================================

It was that fucking bad.

As the clock started to chime Three (it always ran 176 seconds fast) Parry was crawling on his hands trying to escape the grasp of Sandra and Jessica. The pair of Fae were trying to make Parry "Prettier" by drawing make-up on him with crayola markers. One look at his arm sent Parry bursting into tears- he was a living Jackson Pollock painting!

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! This stuff doesn't come off like mascara! I thought I bought kid-friendly markers!

He'd already suffered through having to be changed by Rikive once and he wasn't sure, but he'd probably need another before the last of the kids was picked up. His tummy was rumbling something fierce, and Parry was definitely not hungry.

If Rikive wasn't able to answer Parry's cries for help, something serious was happening somewhere else inside the house. And Rikive no longer owed him anything. HE was in HER debt now. If he wasn't changed back soon, he'd likely be working as her servant in Asgard!

At least the phone stopped ringing half an hour ago...

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive sighed hearing the, by now, familiar cries of Parael in his infant form. She finished healing one of the poor witch girls that had accidentally been bitten by the lycan puppies. "There, all better." She smiled at the girl, picking her up to kiss her on the cheek and give her a tickle until she ceased whimpering and started laughing. Rikive set her down, casting a stern look to the three brothers, now sitting in the 'time out corner'.

They whimpered at her gaze and tried to hide their faces underneath each other.

Shaking her head, the demi-goddess patted the girl gently to send her off to play again with the others. She followed the cries of Parael until she found him being 'tortured' with brightly colored markers by the hands of two little Fae girls. "Girls!" She bellowed at the two of them, making them jump before they turned to look at her. "That is not nice!" She chastised them, crouching down and holding out her hand for the markers. "Give those to me, now."

The two girls pouted and sniffled as they handed over the markers. Rikive pointed over to the corner of stuffed animals. "Go. Sit there until I say so." She rose up to her feet to set the markers someplace no other child could reach them. The girls sat down and stubbornly refused to move, but Rikive would give them no more attention.

She picked up Parael from the ground and carried him over to the changing table to try and wipe off the colors with the cleaning wipes. "Their parents had better be arriving soon." She muttered to him, her patience beginning to run a little thin. If this is what it was like to have children, Rikive wasn't sure she was ready to be a mother just yet.

Maybe in a few hundred more years.

[Trinais]

Saved by the Princess.

Parry was the very model of an obedient child when Rikive scooped him up. He didn't fight or fidget, offering his chubby arms and legs for her to clean off as she took them.

As he lay on his back Parry spared a glance over at Estelle. The girl was still on her nap matte, along with Lily. Both were fine from what he could see- still breathing. And if Rikive didn't sense any magic coming off of them then it wasn't like they were cursed.

Parry just wanted Estelle to hurry up and stop napping so they could get some answers!

He shivered a little, then was sat up by Rikive as she brought a onesie down over him. He appreciate the clothes, especially since it covered up that absurd amount of baby fat he was sporting. He couldn't exactly strut down the runway with confidence (he couldn't strut at all, actually) but it kept him warm and would keep any more markers from most of his body.

When his head popped out of the top of the shirt, he was able to see two more figures in black approaching the front door.

Both were women, mid-thirties, with short bob haircuts. One pushed an empty stroller while the other carried a bag on her hip.

Estelle's moms!

Parry pointed at the window, suddenly all excitement and energy while the two started knocking at the door.

Estelle stirred but didn't wake, every bit the groggy toddler who didn't want to wake up for anything unless it was ice cream or cartoons. But either way, Parry was sure Carolyn and Fiona would know what to do about this mess! They were leading members of the East Side Coven after all!