[IC] Divine Hijinks

[KuroTenshi]

"Then go we shall." Rikive said with a nod of her head before looking behind her to the entrance to the playroom. They were on a time crunch now, but they couldn't very well leave with all these children still here. "I hate to ask more of thee, but we should go as soon as possible." She looked toward the playroom and hesitated before asking, "Could thou see that the children are safely reunited with their parents?"

Her eyes lit up with an idea and she held up her finger. "I can repay thee in kind!" She promised before leaving the kitchen and trotting upstairs. She grabbed her coin purse and made her way down, casually deflecting a ball that was accidentally tossed too hard. "Play nice." She chastised the child as she returned to the kitchen.

Rikive pulled out five of the golden coins and held them out to Carolyn. "Would this be sufficient payment for thy help?"

[Trinais]

Carolyn was ready to say "Sure, we can stick around," not one to ever refuse a friend in need, especially when a curse from a fairy queen was at stake. But when Rikive returned with a sack of gold coins stamped with the symbol of the World Tree, she and Fiona were both too stunned for words. They expected a couple 20s and that'd be that.

Fiona was initially suspicious of the gold but taking them in her hands showed they were certainly heavy enough to be real.

"If this is fake," she said, "I'm turning you into a weasel for an hour. Deal?"

Carolyn, meanwhile, had set up a stroller in the play room for Parry and was getting him changed into a diaper and clothes that would fit much better.

"You look cute like this," she said, snapping him into a pair of jean overalls. "Toddler clothes are your thing. You should think about wearing a onesie to your next party."

"Easy for you to say," Parry grumbled as Carolyn set him down from the change table. He took a second to admire himself in a full size mirror, preening this way and that. "You don't poop yourself if you try to lift something too heavy. Do the Huggies make my ass look big?"

"You always had a big ass, Parry."

Parry's face went paper white before turning a furious red. His fists balled up and he stamped one sneaker-clad foot. "I do NOT have a big ass! I go to the gym three times a week to make sure!"

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive gave her a wiry grin. "Thou can try, I won't be turned as easily as Parael." She informed the woman with a chuckle, closing the coin purse and putting it into her pocket. "Rest assured, those are very real." She spoke before she heard Parael start yelling from the other room. Rikive shook her head at the tantrum.

She thanked Fiona again and exited the kitchen, pointing at Parael. "Calm thy self. Or I will turn my ire on thou rather than the Fairy Queen." She had just about had enough of this entire situation and couldn't wait for it to end. She went upstairs to grab Winterthorn then returned. She stashed the sword in the bottom of the stroller, hiding it underneath a blanket and the diaper bag Carolyn handed her. She threw in a few stuffed animals just to be sure.

Rikive scooped Parael up from the floor and placed him into the stroller. "Right," She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck and looking down at the stroller occupied with a golden haired toddler. "Not exactly a mighty chariot to ride into a battle." She muttered, walking behind it and pushing it to the door. "If we don't return, well... thou can assume what happened to us."

=======

Rikive stood before the hedge Parael had directed her too, staring up at it with a frown on her lips. She could definitely sense something was off about the brush, but how to go about entering?

Rikive crossed her arms over her chest, glaring for a few moments at the bush before kicking at the leaves with her foot. "Maybe I should just set it on fire." She said, turning to Parael, still siting in the stroller. There were no humans around, which she didn't know if that was a good sign or not. They were in a fairly secluded section of the park and while it was very pretty and neat, Rikive didn't trust it.

It felt like there could be an ambush hiding in the trees and less manicured bushes surrounding the clearing they were in.

[Trinais]

Parry was silent and sulking for most of the ride to the park. Going from an almighty Celestial living the high life in an inner city to a piddling little child had taken the wind out of his sails, but he also had to wonder if his constant fits were the result of his mind being altered by the charm, regressing him to a more childlike state, or if he was always that selfish. He wasn't sure if he could ask Rikive for her input, as they'd known each other less than a day and she was already pushing him around in a stroller.

I'll ask her later, Parry thought. If I remember. If I'm normal.

The hedgerow in the park was a quaint thing, if out of the way. It was nestled beside a duck pond, a round circle of neglected rose bushes ringing a single tall oak in the center with a single entrance.

The lone entrance was a deception for mortals though. The true entrance to the Fae realm was on the opposite side from the opening.

As Parry and Rikive looked at the entrance that wasn't opening and Rikive suggested burning the whole thing down, Parry had to admit he liked the idea.

"On Midgard, there's a tradition of leaving a burning bag of dog poop on the front porch of someone you hate. We don't have a dog, but I can cook something up real quick." He snickered, but wouldn't willingly go that far. Not unless he was permanently transformed at least.

"But burning down the hedge wouldn't serve a purpose. It'd just lock us out and then. We'd have to ask-"

The rose hedges shifted, rustling a little bit as the leaves, thorns and twigs at the base of the hedgerow lifted up in a small arch. In the darkness beneath the hedges, high pitched laughter drifted out- menacing or playful, it was too hard to tell. Parry unbuckled himself from the stroller, plopped onto the ground, and peered inside.

The archway was big enough for Parry to walk through and for Rikive to crawl through. Through it, an unending tunnel of thorns and low hanging branches covered the dirt path, letting in just the barest hint of sunlight.

"Well," Parry said. "Small opening. Playful-and-or-murderous faeries inside- HIC!"

Parry's body shook with the force of the hiccup, sending him tumbling onto his back on the grass. When he stood up, he noticed how the clothes on his body fit a little looser. Just by a hair. But that was also extremely very not good.

"And we're on the clock. You wanna go first or me?"

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive moved in a blur of motion, grabbing her sword from beneath the stroller when she heard the brush rustle. One hand gripped the hilt of her blade, ready to pull it out and defend the two of them from attack. She watched the tunnel appear with a mixture of fascination and frustration when she saw how small it was.

The laughter made her shudder.

Damned Fairies.

She looked down and huffed when Parael fell on his butt from a strong hiccup. If she wasn't about to crawl into a trap, she would have found it funny and cute. "Thou go in front, I suppose." She answered after a moment of thought. If something came at them from behind, she wouldn't be able to do anything to protect Parael. However if he was in front of her then she'd be able to react better.

Rikive attached her sword to her belt and made her way to the small tunnel. She waited until Parael walked inside before getting on her stomach and starting to crawl into the small tunnel. She felt thorns and branches tug at her clothes as she crawled inside. There was very little light inside of the tunnel, but she could see in the dark as well as in the day.

She heard rustling behind them and turned to look over her shoulder, seeing the entrance had disappeared. "Wonderful." She muttered, looking forward again to continue crawling. "Parael, thou has no idea at all why the Queen did this?" She asked him, straining her ears to listen for any warning signs of danger in the narrow passage.

[Trinais]

Parry was toddling ahead of Rikive, on the alert for fairies, nixies and pixies with every step. He was not about to argue with the big lady wielding the sword, but he kept close to her every step of the way, always within arm's reach.

The hedge was a magical and dangerous place, but the lack of any up front attackers or guards, with not even a "Hello, how do you do?" for them had Parry doubly on edge and afraid of his own shadow. Which was probably bad, considering his current potty skills.

"It's not like I go out of my way to antagonize her," Parry said, moving a thorn branch out of Rikive's way so her hair wouldn't get tangled. "We have a... rivalry. I'm the best dressed and she throws the best parties. We keep trying to beat the other in the social scenes."

In Parry's opinion the fairy queen was the most pompous, posturing and vain individual to ever walk the face of the earth, and no one could tell him otherwise.

Pot, meet kettle.

"I just threw that one party last night for- HIC!" Parry's fell back again on his diapered butt, the thorn branch swinging into Rikive's hair. He shook himself off again, stood up on wobbly legs and reached for the branch- only to feel his arms not quite reach as high. His overall sleeves extended further up his arms and he could feel his diaper starting to droop a little bit.

Potion's wearing off!

Fingers moving delicately, he untangled Rikive's hair from the branch and let her pass.

After Rikive's hair was well away of the thorn branch, Parry let the branch go and toddled back ahead of Rikive as fast as he could.

On and on they went, deeper into the hedge. Parry could swear they'd made a few twists and turns, and he was getting more and more nervous with every passing minute. He was absolutely terrified that another hiccup would leave him too small to walk, or too dumb to talk. Time passed differently in the Hedge, but not completely out of walk.

Hell, if we were a few minutes later getting to the park, I might already be sucking on my thumb!

He paused in his walk when the tunnel ahead seemed to grow wider and brighter. At first Parry couldn't believe his eyes, thinking it was a mirage or a trick. But as he toddled closer he could see more clearly the outlines of the Queen's Hall.

It wasn't a building in the traditional sense. Even from a distance Parry could see the raised tree, its roots and trunk not sunk directly into the ground but raised up, providing a kind of open-air court. The Queen favored Springtime, so aside from the occasional rainfall it was suitable to have an open air court. At any time a hundred fairy knights were in attendance, with fauns, nixies, pixies and others entertaining the Queen herself at the dais of her throne.

Red-Haired, clad in white silk and with a pair of her own colorful wings, she presided over an eternal party in her honor.

"We're almost there Riki! HIC!"

Parry landed square on his backside again. When he tried to stand back up, Parry's legs wobbled like jello and he nearly fell over again until he found his balance.

"Hurry up!"

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive frowned noticing Parael was getting smaller and he was having worse and worse coordination. The potion was wearing off it appeared. She looked ahead at the opening to the court and took in a deep breath. She picked up Parael and held him against her chest with one arm, using the other one to continue crawling.

Finally they made it out of the hedge and into the court of the Fairy Queen. Rikive stood to her full height, her posture straight and proud; as though she was walking through her father's hall. She held herself like the warrior she was, despite the fact she was dressed in now dirty and torn clothes, her hair was a bit of a mess from the hedge and she was holding a shrinking child. Rikive acted as though she dealt with these types of shenanigans all the time and thus didn't phase her.

Her eyes landed upon the Fairy Queen with bright red hair, draped in white silk seated upon her throne and she clenched her free hand into a fist. She tried to keep her face as neutral as possible, despite how much she wanted to scowl and sneer at the woman. This whole thing was so damned petty and exasperating.

[Trinais]

The Queen noticed the arrival of the newcomers when the rest of her court did. And like the rest of her court, she paid them no mind at all. A human page, a boy, presented the queen a clay goblet full of wine. She patted the lad's head, sent him on his way, and drank deep without spilling a drop. The sprites went about their day playing in the fields. It seemed only the Queen's knights paid any mind to Rikive.

As she stood and walked toward the festivities, a dozen knights slowly shifted, hands resting on their blades while casually approaching their Lady to stand in the way.

Parry gave up fidgeting as Rikive picked him up, instead planting both hands on his mouth as if that would stop the next hiccup, whenever it came. He could feel something stirring in his gut, straining for release, and fought it with all his might to keep from shrinking any smaller It was a fool's hope, but he was out of options and ideas.

The Queen smiled as the two approached, passed her goblet to the nearby Page, and stood from her seat.

"Nefrate, my First-"

One of the knights, a tall, elfen eared female wearing a cloak of rose petals, saluted the Queen but said nothing.

"You told me that Parry wouldn't find his way here in time. Yet it appears he stands before me- or rather, is held before me- humbled." She licked her lips, a lioness looking at a gazelle away from its herd. "de Lacy's golden goose. A true Celestial."

Then, for the first time, she looked at Rikive. Where Rikive was martial power and honor, the Queen stood tall as the picture of femininity and cunning. She had no weapons at her hip, wore no armor, but being in her presence one could tell she commanded powers other than the sword and shield. And there was something else... off, about her. Parry couldn't place it. It was eluding him. Not something that was there, but something that wasn't.

Parry dropped his hands when it finally came to him.

"Bitch! You're not actually pregnant! I threw you a baby shower and you're- HICCUP!"

Parry held on to Rikive's arm for dear life, his whole body thrown by the force of that last one. When his brain could finally see straight again, his hands and legs were pudgier while absolutely swimming in their sleeves. Parry's eyes teared up as he immediately felt another hiccup building in his stomach.

"Time is of the essence, Parry Magnus. I think two, maybe three more? And then you're stuck that way for a good 10,000 years. And greetings to you, my lady. I saw and heard through the Hedge. I know why you're here. You want me to release Parry from this curse. But what is he to you?"

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive held Parael closer to her and calmly looked around her at the knights that surrounded her. She didn't like this woman and she certainly didn't trust her. She looked like a cat playing with a mouse before she devoured it. This was all just a big game to her wasn't it?

Unfortunately for the Fairy Queen, her relatives were infamous for playing such games.

"Don't speak Parael, hold those hiccups in." She said, turning her hard eyes on the woman that sat upon her throne. "Allow me to introduce myself." She squared her shoulders and openly glared up at the Queen. "I am Rikive, daughter of Heimdall, the eternal watchman of Asgard. Thou asks my relation to Parael?" She repeated and slowly smirked. "It so happens Parael is a very dear friend of the Asgardians. Especially my father, whom I'm sure can see us even now." She lifted her hand in a small wave, as though she was waving to her all seeing father. "I'm sure my wonderful grandfather Odin has been keeping an eye on me with his lovely ravens as well." It was clear the point she was making.

The Norse gods were well aware of what was going on. "Terribly sorry, but they can be rather protective of me."

Rikive chuckled and placed her hand on the hilt of her sword. "If that is not enough to...impress you. At my side here, is my blade Winterthorn, gifted to me by my dear uncle, Thor. He saw to it that the blade was given...special properties, just like his hammer." Rikive looked around at the court guards with a casual smile. "It was a congratulatory gift after single handedly slaying a few nasty Frost Giants, but I'm sure thou doesn't want to hear all the details of the battle. It was fairly short." She finished with a small shrug.

"So, my lady, now that I have properly introduced myself and answered thine question," Rikive motioned to Parael. "Would thou be so kind as to turn Parael back to normal? Or would one of my relatives be a tad more...convincing?" She inquired with a sweet smile.

[Trinais]

The Faerie Queen bit her lip as Rikive listed her heritage, her father, grandfather, and not least of all the giver of her weapon. The fairy knights paused and while they didn't step back or forward, there was a general unease about them as they sized up this woman, sword in one hand, pudgy baby in the other, and the calm cool of a champion gambler.

The Queen sat back upon her throne, twirled a lock of red hair in her finger, and said "Asgardian? And the daughter of Heimdall the all-watcher?" The Queen clapped her hands twice, summoning a pair of servants. Between the two they carried a crude crib made of wood with a bed of leaves for a mattress. "The humble abode of Parael for the next 10,000 years," she said, admiring the handiwork. "A bit crude, and I'll admit it was built as a cage rather than a true sleeping pen. To show off my rare and exquisite catch to my guests. And who knows, it might still hold him for me?"

The Queen grinned, waving a finger at the two.

Parry felt a rumbling in his stomach, a rising pressure he fought with every muscle in his body to contain. Feet kicking in the air and eyes tearing up further, he wanted to cry knowing what it meant. Knowing he would be powerless to hold it at bay for much longer. But opening his mouth for a moment would doom him.

"So here I have in my court a Goddess and a Celestial. I was paid handsomely in blood and promises to neutralize Parry Magnus and leave de Lacy vulnerable. But to have a Goddess in my debt would be just as great a boon as all those promises. Swear a single service to me- whether I ask it tomorrow or 10,000 years from now- and I will release the curse from Parry Magnus. Else, you will be free to take him- as a babbling infant..."

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive's smile widened slightly. "Oh, never try and play tricks when thine opponent is related to the infamous trickster, Loki." She informed her, gently rubbing Parael's hand, trying to silently encourage him to hold in that hiccup a bit more. "A promise from an Asgardian is a powerful thing. It is an honor and privilege that is earned. My lady, the only thing thou has earned," Rikive pointed up to the open roof. "Is the anger of the Gods."

"I suppose I may have been too...Subtle with my words. Allow me to speak clearer. Thou whilst release Parael from this curse. Because if thou don't," Rikive shrugged. "Then thou will simply have all of the Norse pantheon and it's army of dead warriors charging into this lovely court room and...Well, I'm sure thou knows how the mortals used to worship my relatives." Rikive winked, gently bouncing Parael's hand up and down with her own. "Asgardians so do love getting their revenge, whether its in their name or in the name of a dear friend, like Parael here. Besides they're awfully bored up in Asgard, I'm sure they would love the chance to fight again." She made a show of looking around the Fairy court, specifically, the guards. "Even if thine forces won't pose much of a challenge for them."

Rikive's eyes returned to the Queen and hardened, even as she continued to smile. "Now that is a promise, my lady. So, go ahead. Don't turn Parael back to his adult form. I'll just take him with me to Asgard and my grandfather and his horde of warriors will be upon thy doorstep by sundown. And those 10,000 years? They will feel like only five in Asgard, where Parael will be treated like a prince. By the time 10,000 years has past, I'm sure a beautiful forest would have grown over the smoldering ruins of thine court." She looked down at Parael. "We should have ourselves a wondrous lunch on top of it."

[Trinais]

"You... brute!" The Queen was not pleased that someone who wasn't as powerful as she was had come into her court, threatened her with destruction, and demanded something without offering anything in exchange.

But facts were facts.

The Queen could hold Parry as her plaything according to the bargain she had struck. And her knights might be able to destroy Rikive.

But one fairy court would never survive the full wrath of Asgard unleashed upon it. She could hold Parry and Rikive hostage within the Hedge for eternity, but Heimdall would find his way through the tangled web of thorns.

She gives me nothing with which to save face, though. I will face a revolt if I give in now! A revolt, or certain death later.

The Queen grit her teeth and extended one arm.

"Give the mewling babe here, and I'll lift the curse on him. Before it becomes permanent..."

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive eyed the woman warily for a moment before she cautiously approached the throne. That had been a bit easier than she thought. Though the wrath of Asgard was certainly nothing to scoff at, she hadn't thought the woman would cave in so easily. "As I've said, do not play tricks." Rikive warned her, holding out Parael to her. She was still on guard and if the Queen did anything suspicious then she was drawing her sword and hacking off a wing.

"If thou thinks I am a brute for what I've only said, I can assure thee." Rikive glared at her. "My bite is far worse than my bark."

[Trinais]

The Queen took the infant in both hands, eyeing the crib through her peripheral vision. A curt nod and her knights gathered about her a little closer, hands still on the hilts of their swords.

"All the wisdom of your father and the brute force of your grandfather. If only you'd inherited Loki's cunning, you would be a welcome friend at my court," she said, hoisting Parael a little higher. Above Parael's head, a drop of spring water lowered from the branches of the tree, not quite embracing gravity as it grew in mass and size, but it was only a matter of time before the drop fell.

"I thank you for your honesty, fair Rikive. Honest words should not come from fairy lips alone. So I will give you these words: Asgard is a mighty friend, but a mightier foe. An alliance when one party is in distress is not a true alliance. I see that now."

The drop fell, a blue orb the size of an exercise ball, clear as a spring sky, until it plopped all over Parry. But instead of splashing into a shower of fresh water and washing away the curse, the orb held its form. And trapped inside, hands pressed against his mouth with wide eyes, was Parry. His body shook, vibrating with force, until finally, he could hold no longer and his mouth opened. There was no sound, through the walls of the orb but the effect was instant.

Parry's body shrank a good two inches instantly, swimming in his clothes, and his eyes squinted shut. Without making a sound in the outside world, Parry started to wail and cry. Whether his mind was intact or not, he knew he was in big trouble and couldn't get out.

The knights as one drew their swords, leveled their shields, and the Queen smiled as both her hands held the orb tightly. Her eyes blazed in fury, aglow with starlight as she started to channel a wordless spell.

"But a Celestial... even a babe... is a mighty force indeed. If channeled properly- perhaps even strong enough to keep Asgard away! Knights! At her!"

[KuroTenshi]

"Fuck." Rikive growled, jumping away from the throne to put some distance between herself and the knights so she could draw her sword. "If that's how thou want's to play." Rikive smirked coldly, looking around the court of Fairy knights. "Let's play."

===

Rikive yanked the blood stained Winterthorn out of the body of the last Fairy Knight to fight her. Her hair was stuck to her face in dark tendrils from sweat and blood, nearly perfectly framing her hard, cold eyes. All around her were defeated Knights, some groaning in pain and other's were silent and still. Her clothes were completely ruined, not only were they spattered with the blood of her enemies, but there were many rips and tears in the clothing from being struck with weapons.

However, thanks to her Light Elf magic, all the wounds had long since healed, so she stood without a scratch.

Rikive dropped shield she had stolen from a fallen knight and walked over the defeated Fae as though they didn't exist. She strode up to the throne, Winterthorn gripped tightly in her hand and dripping with the fresh blood of the fallen. She stopped before the throne and pointed the sword directly into the Queen's face. "Change. Him. Back." She growled through gritted teeth.

"NOW!" She shouted, the yell punctuated by a loud boom of thunder. Rikive grinned wildly at the sound. She hadn't even noticed the sky starting to darken. She'd been rather focused on fighting for her life. "That must be my uncle. I'm sure grandfather is with him as well." Rikive narrowed her eyes. "By attacking me and trying to kill me, thou has sealed thine fate. Thou has declared war with Asgard. Change Parael back now and I may be able to convince them to leave what's left of thine court in peace."

[Trinais]

When the knights engaged Rikive, the Queen contented herself to sit upon her throne, the orb containing Parael in her lap, and watch. A spectator at one of the melees she threw for her own entertainment, she thought this would be a quick bloodsport and she could get to the business of putting Parael's power to use.

After the third knight fell and a spray of blood landed on her immaculate gown, the Queen channeled more of Parry's powers to form a golden orb about herself, protecting against any more unsightly disruptions in her appearance. Inside the orb, tendrils of lightning affixed themselves to Parry's back, the bawling infant slowly growing more tired as the Queen fed off of him for power to feed her shield.

The death of her First Champion, Rosette, left the Queen shaken. There hadn't been a long parry, thrust, countermove of a knightly duel as Rosette was used to. Rikive struck with a swift and angry brutality that clove the Champion's skull in two. Then there were three knights life, and all were juniors. Cowardly and wise enough to hang back and let the other knights battle, but not so ignorant of the Queen's wrath that they would willingly surrender.

All three were on the floor within seconds, slashes across their bellies spilling their guts across the grassy floor.

The queen's courtiers took that as a sign to scatter to the four winds.

And then the Queen stood alone, impervious in her shield but with nowhere to run and no way to fight. With the infant Parry tiring from her use of his power, she wasn't even sure if the shield would hold against the enchanted blade Winterthorn.

Politics was a game, however, and she took heart from the fact that no one would see her willingly surrender her prize to Rikive.

"You wish for the babe to be made whole? Swear to me- by your father and Grandfather- that no harm shall come to me for releasing him to you after all that has been done. Swear it, and I will release him from the curse."

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive stared her down coldly, allowing a heavy and tense silence to fill the air and make the Queen squirm in her throne. "I swear." Rikive finally muttered, but she did not lower her blade. "Unlike thou, I keep my word. If thou changes him back, then I will take him and we will go. My uncle and grandfather, with their army, will leave."

The female warrior took a step forward, her voice dropping to a menacing growl. "But this is a one time deal. Only this once will thou be allowed to continue in peace. If thou crosses me again then I will not be so merciful." Lightning silently flashed above them followed by another deafening explosion of thunder. "Better hurry, they're getting restless up there."

[Trinais]

The Queen nodded silently, realizing Rikive's word was the only shield she would have for her actions this day. It was the slimmest of hopes but her court had fled and all her knights were corpses at her feet.

With a heavy sigh she took the orb in both her hands, set it on the dais at her feet and held one hand over Parael's head.

Slowly, Parry shifted inside the orb, growing by inches until his arms and legs fit inside the sleeves of his clothes again. And continued growing, not stopping at a toddler's size like before. The orb started to expand as well so he wasn't crushed or squeezed, though Parry had to tuck his legs under himself for just a little extra room. Fortunately his clothes grew with him instead of constricting his body.

The orb stopped growing just as Parry reached four feet in height and from there his head and arms started to stretch against it, like he was pressing against a balloon from the inside.

Finally, as Parry reached his usual 5-foot-8 self, the orb popped in a spray of water that drenched the Queen and left Parry soaking on the floor, his hair matted and wet like he'd just stepped out of the shower.

Parry stood up on both legs, looked at the infantile outfit he was still wearing, and looked back at the Queen.

"I should kill you for making me leave here dressed like this, but I won't," he said, walking back toward Rikive. He nodded at her once, reaching into the diaper bag for the iron sword and removed it.

"I should kill you for the diaper rash I've got right now. But I won't." Slowly, stepping over the bodies of the knights, he approached the dais.

"I should kill you for making Rikive take care of me. I should kill you for putting her in danger. And I most certainly should kill you for putting all the children I'm supposed to watch in danger." Like a lightning bolt, his sword arm shot forward- the iron tipped blade reaching for the throat of the Queen- and stopping just short.

"But I won't." Parry stepped away, turned and walked back to Rikive's side. "There's a bush outside the front door of the Daycare center. You're going to open the Hedge for us there. Not in the park. And if you ever interfere in the lives of either of us again, I will put my wings back on just to come back here and bury you."

The Queen, speechless, flinched as another flash of lightning outside her tree-hall was followed by a boom of thunder that shook the stones of the earth.

She nodded. At the edge of the glade, another path opened up, tall enough for both to walk through, and on the other side was the front lawn of Parry's center.

Parry turned to Rikive as he started walking (well, waddling, since his underwear was sized up too) to the exit.

"I've been on Earth for a few hundred years Rikive. A few friends would go to bat for me in a pinch. But none would stick around after what that Queen did to me," he smiled, but rubbed at his eyes as they stepped into the Hedge. "Not after knowing me for less than a day. So... thanks hon. I really... I don't know how to..."

Parry was seconds away from breaking down, and as the two stepped out of Hedge onto his front lawn at the dead of night, he finally gave up and wrapped Rikive in a big hug, squeezing her as hard as he could.

"Thank you so much. I thought I was... that she would... Just, thanks." He finally broke off the hug, pulled back and rubbed his eyes. "Also, I'll buy you a nice Prada bag for every time you had to change me. It's the least I could do."

[KuroTenshi]

Rikive blinked in surprise at the hug, before she returned it with her free arm as she didn't want to risk hurting Parael with her drawn blade. "Thou are very welcome." She replied, squeezing him tight for a moment before releasing him. "It is the least I could do after thou helped me with the soulless from last night." She said with a smile.

A soft rumble of thunder made her look up to the sky and she frowned slightly. "I...didn't think they would actually come." She admitted to him, sheathing Winterthorn. "Honestly I was bluffing before, I thought the threat of their might would have been enough to convince her to lift the curse."

Lightning flashed across the sky and there was another dull roar of thunder before rain fell on them in a heavy down pour. "They...may not be very pleased with me after that." She said to him with a grimace as they instantly became drenched in the cold rain.

[Trinais]

Parry draped an arm over Rikive's shoulders, ushering her toward the front door to the center.

"Parents can be weird like that sometimes," he said. "They'll go to the ends of the Earth to keep their kids safe."

As he opened the front door, a loud KRAKKA-BOOM! echoed behind them. Parry jumped, turned around, and watched as a spot on his lawn a meter wide smoldered from a lightning strike, even as the rain become a heavy downpour behind them.

"But that doesn't mean they won't get angry they had to bail your ass out in the first place. Come on. Let's go put on some fuzzy pajamas, watch a bad movie, and eat a pint of ice cream- sugar and fat be damned."

Parry shut the door behind them, locking it and securing the wards in place. Another bolt of thunder struck, shaking the whole house before quieting, the rain outside turning into a soft pitter-patter as Parry made his way up the stairs.

"First, I'm going to change into something more comfortable than Huggies. I wasn't kidding about that rash..."

======================================================================================================================

== 64 Hours Later ==

After nearly being murdered by a guest at a baby shower, attacked by vampires, turned into a baby, then a toddler, then a baby again, and returned to normal, Parry was ready to call it done and head to a beach in the Tropics for a good week or ten. Unfortunately, de Lacy still had to have his due. The head upstairs in the kitchen was a solemn reminder that Parry was still little better than a cow for de Lacy to milk in exchange for favors.

Parry had been able to explain away the head of Rikive's attacker as a favor from the city's Jarl, a sign that justice had been done and peace had been restored. After their late night bonding session, Parry had to sneak into the basement to use the donation machine de Lacy had secured from the nearby Hospital for Parry's tithes.

Parry kept a few donations on ice in case de Lacy made such a ludicrous demand, but even throwing all those bottles into the mix didn't change the fact that he was left absolutely drained by the tithing. Left and Right showed up just before dawn to find Parry on the doorstep, paler than a vampire with a lunchbox-slash-cooler in hand.

"Send him my love," Parry said, slamming the door on the two goons before collapsing on the couch.

That whole day was a blur- he wasn't sure what he ate or drank. Thankfully the only kids they had to watch were the Lycan pups again, and they were still stuck as animals this close to the full moon.

Saturday morning, Parry decided enough was enough, he'd chugged a liter of orange juice and ate several eggs and decided they were getting out of the center for a day, dammit! He'd packed his Prada diaper bag with a few essentials and took Rikive out downtown to shop for a bathing suit (an adventure in and of itself) and then took her to the city pool on the city's West Side. Where the money was.

Most public pools would be brick and stone things, but the richer side of the city surrounded the small lake with sand and a lazy creek. The place was crowded with humans today, and as Parry and Rikive waded through the crowds, more than a few heads turned their way from the beach and pool to the faux boardwalk with mom and pop shops lining the way on the south side of the pool.

"Yes, the water smells, but no, it is not poisonous. It's called chlorine and it helps keep the water safe to swim in. If you do go swimming and encounter a sudden warm spot, swim away quickly. No, there are no sea monsters or nymphs in the pool. de Lacy, the Jarl, keeps the pool neutral so there isn't much trouble."

Parry stopped at a patch of open sand and unfurled a towel from his trusty bag, laying it flat on the sand so he could sunbathe and work on his tan. He offered one to Rikive as well before settling in to put some more color in his cream-colored skin. In true Parry fashion, he had to lie out longways like a cat, his swim trunks turning a few heads while his long feminine hair was done up in a ponytail. Neon pink with purple lightning bolts weren't his preferred colors for this time of year, but the rash hadn't completely cleared up and he wasn't prepared to wear a Speedo and show that off.

"It's almost 8- when the pool closes." Parry settled onto the sand, sliding a pair of sunglasses up to cover his eyes. "Sundown is in half an hour. We can stay after to swim- the cleaning crew are some of our type. Catch some rays now or we can go shopping. Your call."