Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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IRobot - A black man versus A Robot Army - Who will win?
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Tearstone
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AVATAR: Pocahontas in space with giant blue ammonia breathing cat people things and space marines. WALK ON HOME BOY!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - *random beatboxing* Megan Fox looses her box turtles, and then finds them again after she forgot about htem some time later with a rat. Some japanese guy tries to kill them all because things.

Ghostbusters: Don't cross the streams or except for when Gozer. Then cross the streams, also admit to being god.

The Bourne Identity: Tour the world while I don't remember sh/t and get chased by random aggro people.
The Bourne Supremacy: Jason's girlfriend gets bullet in brain, he goes after people with guns because of something before he grew up and became a real boy.
The Bourne Ultimatum: Blonde lady hunts skitzo amnesiac assassin and faxes files to CNN.
THe Bourne Legacy: Guy has trouble with dogs while hiking, then discovers superpowers maybe after the flu.

Never Back Down: Fight Club meets random High School drama, except not as cool, no Helena Bonham Carter, and no explosions.

The Fast And The Furious: You do not talk about Figh.. er Race Club. Also confusion about cops and robbers.

Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Tearstone
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Chicken Run - AAAAAARGH THE SKY IS FALLING DOWN! FALLING DOWN!!!


Chicken Run - We need more thrust!
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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Fifty Shades of Grey: An even worse love story than Twilight.
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Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by mdk
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Avengers 2 (/Marvel): Robert Downey Jr. takes Artificial Ingenuity, or "AI" for short, to a bold new level, and the world is bombarded by numerous copies of the same roplot (variations and improvements based on resources available during production), voiced by forgettable villain...... uh....... whichever one wasn't Tom Hiddleston.

Yes. Avengers 2 is actually an interpretive history of the Marvel film franchise. YOU CANNOT UNSEE THE CONNECTION FROM NOW ON.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by tsukune
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Minions - When Alice woke up to find herself turned into three gibberish bananas trying to stop the Queen of Hearts who had a freaking rocket for her best wear... Suffice to say, it's a scarlet overkill.

(Wait, how the hell did that happen? Oh nevermind - welcome to Alice Bob's Mad Wonderland.)
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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The Judge: The father-son issue struggles is real.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by mdk
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Nightcrawler (2014) -- Jake Gyllenhaal isn't acting, he's just being himself for two hours.
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Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by tsukune
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Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - Boy goes to school to talk to a mirror.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - Boy goes to school to tame a giant snake.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - Boy goes to school to turn back time.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - Boy goes to school to participate in Maze Runner.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - Boy goes to school to throw a tantrum.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - Boy goes to school to cheat on his schoolwork.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 - Boy skips school to go on a camping trip.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 - Boy goes back to school to start finish a war.

---

(EDIT: I am a Potterhead and I bloody love Rowling's books, but I just can't resist the temptation to do this.)
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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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Mad Max: Fury Road - Carry on my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done.~
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by mdk
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Clash of the Titans: It does for Greek mythology what cocaine did for Whitney Houston.
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Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by tsukune
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Rebuild of Evangelion - A fucked-up story about throwing a whiny teen boy into a giant robot to destroy humanity. Well, at least this remake has dumbed down the mind-screw so much that it shouldn't hurt your brain as much as the original...maybe.

Evangelion: 1.0 You Are (Not) Alone - Boy meets robot girl.

Evangelion: 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance - Boy meets drama queen. Two of them, in fact.

Evangelion: 3.0 You Can (Not) Redo - Boy meets...boy. And that boy likes him, very much. (Feel free to interpret this in your own not-so-decent way.)

Let's not mention the last installment, which seems to take forever and god knows if it's ever gonna be out anyway.
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Titanic

Suicidal rich girl falls for hot poor guy on the Tianic.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by tsukune
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Mad Max: Thunderdome -- Basically "Hook," if Peter Pan had been a cage deathmatch champion.

<Snipped quote by mdk>

In a similar vein, Mad Max: Fury Road -- a fun roadtrip for the entire family + concubines.

<Snipped quote by Hank>

Or: don't mess with cripples.

Mad Max: Fury Road - Carry on my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done.~

Well well. I did say it's perfectly ok to have the same title being interpreted in different ways, but apparently Mad Max is the most common one I'm seeing so far.

I thought that Marvel titles would be more frequent with the sheer number of them being released in recent years (Disney is quite impatient on this), but it seems like a silent agreement that they are not really worth mentioning (with Iron Man being an exception because of THE Robert Downey Jr., appeared twice so far in this thread).

---

Thor - When your godly father butt-kicked you from the mighty Asgard to puny Earth, but you manage to grow up splendidly (with a mortal girlfriend as an added bonus).

Thor 2 - When you butt-kicked your brother to stop being a papa's boy, but failed and gave birth to a third sequel.
Hidden 9 yrs ago 9 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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Guardians of the Galaxy - When a team of a former professional wrestler, Sam Worthington's tall, blue wife, the most baritone race car driver, that one guy that banged Katness, and the fat guy from Parks and Recreation team up to face off against the bluest alien since the inhabitants of Pandora.

Inuyasha: Beyond the looking Glass - Mirrors - and those that live in them - are evil cunts.

Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by mdk
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Guardians of the Galaxy -- there is no force in the multiverse more powerful than the 90's.
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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by vancexentan
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Mobile Suit Gundam Char's Counterattack: A tale about a angst filled blonde man who intends to blow up earth with a giant rock to get his rival to fight him and because a now non-existent group that he helped destroy mind fucked his trainee.

Mobile Suit Gundam Wing Endless Waltz: A little ginger girl intends to conquer the world just so she can be just like her dad. Meanwhile five teen age boys wonder why they're throwing away their giant mechanical robots while this is happening and try to stop their own attempts at disarmament so they can stop the aforementioned ginger.

Gravity: People bouncing around in space.

Batman The Dark Knight: A tale of a mentally unstable clown as he tries to get the city he resides in to implode on itself while a rich man in a batsuit tries to stop him only to fail countless times and become an outlaw.

Lion King: The political shitstorm featured in Africa focuses around animals as a lengthy game of game of thrones plays out which spans a young lion cub's life.
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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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Naruto: The Last Move - Okay kids, this is it: THE LAST NARUTO MOVIE IN WHICH WE GIVE ALL YOU NARUSAKU AND/OR NARUSASU SHIPPERS A DISAPPOINTING ENDING! AND FOR THOSE WHO ARE NARUHINA, REJOICE! WE GIVE YOU YOUR BEST WISHES AS ITS OFFICIALLY CANON!

Boruto: The Movie - Okay, just kidding about it being the last movie. Here, we present to you the wild adventures of that one dog from that one disney movie, BOLT!
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by AlteredTundra
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Daredevil(2004) - S&M, the movie.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by tsukune
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Attack on Titans - Fanfiction-on-Screen, Director's Cut Version.
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