Labyrinth (an improbable spam game)

[Snarfulblast]

The rope is actually a viper.

I look down and see some gold.

[ArenaSnow]

The gold is guarded by a dragon.

I pull out a sword.

[Arawak]

It's made of plastic and your ass starts bleeding.

I pull out another sword.

[Snarfulblast]

It's made of leather.

I pull out a plate of food.

[ArenaSnow]

The food's poisoned.

I attempt to wake up as though from a dream.

[Arawak]

Shit got lucid and now the dragon turned into a eldritch abomination.

I try to think of a good weapon to use.

[Snarfulblast]

Cant think of anything.

I try and run from Cthulhu.

[GodOfWar]

Your legs are composed of mist. You can only slowly float away.

I try to read an incantation to dispel Cthulhu.

[Snarfulblast]

Cthulhu is immune.

I call H.P. Lovecraft.

[GodOfWar]

H.P. Lovecraft is deceased. Rest in pepperonis...

I throw a nonfiction book at Cthulhu.

[VarionusNW]

H.P. Lovecraft is deceased. Rest in pepperonis...

I throw a nonfiction book at Cthulhu.

@GodOfWar

I realize I threw a pseudoscience book at Cthulhu, which only makes him angrier.

I attempt to give Cthulhu some of that acid to calm him down.

[Arawak]

Cthulhu just gets freakier.

Realizing how bad I fucked up, I just try to kill myself.

[GodOfWar]

You accidentally kill Cthulhu instead.

I try to scavenge items from Cthulhu's corpse.

[Snarfulblast]

Another Cthulhu is born from the corpse.

I try and stab it while it's young.

[VarionusNW]

I realize that this is just a really weird D&D campaign, and none of this is real.

I yell at the GM for bringing Cthulhu back to life.

[Snarfulblast]

There is no DM and I realize that I'm stuck in a cell.

I rattle the bars of the cell.

[ClocktowerEchos]

I osmosis my way through the bars.

Strange, creepy noises come down the hall and I go investigate

[Arawak]

The hall never ends.

I try a different direction.

[Snarfulblast]

There is a unbreakable wall.

I continue down the hallway.

[ClocktowerEchos]

A tentacle monster osmosises from the walls.

I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going and promptly beat the shit out of it with its own suction pods.