GAME: Crush A Wish

[Mardox]

Granted. The apocalypse hits and raiders eat your dog.

I wish to have heightened intellect.

[Shorticus]

Granted. Now your head is twenty inches taller.

I wish I would be treated like a grown-ass man!

[Mardox]

Granted. You are now treated as if you were a fully grown donkey-human hybrid.

I wish I knew how to collect on the deals I made for people's souls.

[SleepingSilence]

Wish granted, but a ghost dog randomly attacks you and tears you to pieces. You found out a way, but it's impossible for you actually do.

I wish the people would stop doing harmful drugs.

[Mardox]

Granted, they are now into self-mutilation.

I wish it were possible for me to collect those souls.

[Duthguy]

Granted but you permanently forget how to do it and the procedure is so complicated you'll never do it by accident.

I wish to have my very own healthy, obedient and loyal Pokemon

[Mardox]

Granted. PETA takes it away.

I wish I could just think about what I wanted to write and have it written.

[SleepingSilence]

Wish granted, hope you and others can read a dead language.

I wish all extremist groups everywhere were sent off into space.

[Mardox]

Granted they meet aliens sympathetic to their cause and become a far greater threat.

I wish I spoke, understood, could read and write Latin.

[Shorticus]

Granted. You're teleported to the fall of Rome as barbarian hordes come swarming in to kill you. Oh, and you're a Roman soldier. And you're a raw recruit. And you're outnumbered. And you're pretty much screwed.

The Senate doesn't pay you enough for this shit.

I wish I were the world's most beautiful man!

[Vesuvius00]

granted. but, no one else can or ever will, so...

I wish for people to just say what they mean instead of playing word-games with me. seriously, it's annoying.

-EDIT-
ah, shoot ninja'd

granted, the world's opinion of 'beautiful' is now 'the more random extra body parts you have, the better. bonus points for non-human parts'

my wish remains the same.

[NewMoonGamer]

I've been ninjaed

[Wade Wilson]

I wish for people to just say what they mean instead of playing word-games with me. seriously, it's annoying.

@Vesuvius00

Granted. Now when someone insults you, they do it the way they mean it. Enjoy feeling depressed the rest of your life!

I wish to blow up.

[Shorticus]

Granted. You get really angry and that's it because the genie apparently figured you meant metaphorically.

I wish to ACTUALLY blow up into a million giblets.

[Tracyarmav]

granted, Soviet Russia drops a nuke through time/space and it lands on your head. You are kaput, and so is everyone around you for miles.

I wish I wasn't depressed.

[Vesuvius00]

Granted. You are no longer sad or depressed in any way for the rest of your life. You always have a happy smile on your face, even throughout the deaths and funerals of everyone you loved.

I wish to be able to win any argument I get into

[Shiny Keldeo]

Wish granted, however you somehow get into an argument about terrorists, where you have been forced to take the side of them in the argument. You win said argument, and are pegged as a terrorist sympathizer. You are sentenced to jail where you have no WiFi or internet of any kind.

I wish I was the greatest Archaeologist.

[Sugar and Spite]

Granted. However, when you find your greatest discovery, it will be destroyed and you will never receive credit.

I wish I could go and buy Icon For Hire band merch.

[SleepingSilence]

Wish granted, a store is selling their merch. But its all related too their new mainstream poppy stuff, nothing to do with their first album in sight and if that doesn't sadden you to no end, it also spontaneously catches fire as soon as you buy it.

I wish for a delicious non-deadly, strawberry cheesecake to appear in front of me. :D

[Sugar and Spite]

*gasps* YOU MONSTER.

Granted. But the strawberries were picked by malnourished children and the filling is runny, almost the texture of soup.

I wish I could know the secrets of high school.